Hitler Goes to Equestria
Chapter 2: Applebloom and the Crusaders
Previous Chapter(a/n I'm on a streak. Hope you liked the first chapter. Truth be told, I wasn't expecting to get so many views already. Kind of gave me the inspiration needed to write chapter two.)
As Hitler and Applejack were leaving Twilight's house, they heard a party horn.
"Oh Celestia no," Applejack covered her face with her hat.
"Hi, Dolfy, welcome to your Welcome Party. Haha!" Pinkie said, laughing at her own joke.
"Hey everyone, this Dolfy-"
"Adolf Hitler!" the Fuhrer angrily corrected.
"Right. This is Adolf, he's new here."
The ponies all came closer to get a better look at him. Most of them were confused.
I'm beginning to stop liking this place, he thought as he was hoisted up in the air by Pinkie Pie.
"Three hip hip hoorays. Hip hip-"
"Hooray." the ponies said confusedly.
"Hip hip!" Pinkie Pie said again.
"Let me down Pinkie."
"Let him down Pinkie," Applejack reiterated. "He isn't just some average thingamajig. He's royalty."
"Ooh," the ponies said interestedly.
"In fact, he's the king of Germany." Applejack said.
"Aah," the ponies looked at Hitler, examining him. He really wished he had been wearing his more ceremonial uniform. But he was more or less in his "casual" uniform.
"So he's staying at your house?" Scootaloo asked excitedly.
"Yeah. Applejack said he's staying until he finds a way to get back to his world." Applebloom said excitedly. "Royalty is staying at my house!"
"You know what we should do," Scootaloo asked with a big grin on her face.
"What?"
"We should charge ponies money to see him. Then we can get our cutie marks in-"
"Applejack would never allow it." Applebloom said in a rare moment of foresight. "She'd say he isn't just some animal you can put up for exhibition."
"Can't we at least go meet him?" Sweetie Belle said. "It's not everyday we meet a king."
"Don't see a reason not to," Applebloom agreed.
"Hello little ponies," Hitler said as he lay down on the bed Applejack was kind enough to loan him.
"Hello, uh, Your Highness." Applebloom said, she and the other Cutie Mark Crusader did a quick bow. "We wanted to know if you have a Cutie Mark."
"What?" Hitler asked. What was a Cutie Mark.
Scootaloo pulled down his pants. "What kind of pony wears clothes under their clothes?"
Red as a beet, Hitler pulled his pants back up. "Whatever a cutie mark is, I'm pretty sure I don't have one."
"So what is your special talent?" Applebloom asked.
"Need any Jews you need exterminated?" Hitler asked.
"You're an exterminator?" Applebloom asked.
"In a way."
"You know what I want to do? I want to show him to Rarity. She'll probably criticize his clothes or something. 'Oh darling, whatever are you wearing.' Then we can tell her he's actually royalty." Sweetie Belle laughed, jumping up and down. "She'd be so embarassed."
I hate you God, Hitler thought. I hate you so much.
"That's enough girls. Let Adolf get his rest," Applejack said impatiently as she entered the room.
"Aaah, come on Applejack." Applebloom said.
"No," was the older mare's reply.
Suddenly, the Cutie Mark Crusader pulled out on the biggest puppy dog faces Hitler had ever seen.
Applejack twitched a bit, trying to resist. "Fine!" she relented.
"Yay!"
"I know it's a bit much, but this really means a lot to them." Applejack whispered to Hitler.
"So, Mister Adolf-"
Applebloom nudged Sweetie Belle.
"Uh, I mean, Prince Adolf-"
"Just call me the Fuhrer!" Hitler snapped. He was fond of kids, but these kids were driving him crazy.
"Mr. Fuhrer, I really want to introduce you to my sister, Rarity."
"How old is she?" Hitler asked.
"Huh?"
"What's her age?"
"Well, she's older than us if that's what you mean." Sweetie Belle said.
"Fine, I'll meet her."
"Darling, what have you done to yourself!?" Rarity said as she ran up to Hitler.
No, What the heck is that thing? No, Who the heck are you? Just Why are you wearing those dreary clothes.
"Darling, that uniform looks terrible on you." Rarity said.
"I'll admit it's not my more... ceremonial uniform." Hitler replied. "These are my casual clothes."
"Sweetie Belle," Rarity whispered to her sister and dragged her aside. "You are to stay away from this ruffian."
"But Rarity," Sweetie Belle said, with a devilish grin on her face.
"Listen Sweetie Belle, this creature has no sense of fashion. He's dangerous!" Rarity said.
"But Rarity," Sweetie Belle said.
"Run, Sweetie Belle. when I give the signal, you run and you don't look back."
"RARITY!" Sweetie Belle shouted.
"What?" Rarity asked.
"This is the King of Germany."
"What?" the look on Rarity's face was hilarious.
"He's the King, er, I mean the Fuhrer of Germany. Are you calling royalty unfashionable?" Sweetie Belle was trying her best to keep a straight face but it was beginning to fail.
"I... I... But... What..." Rarity tried to compose herself. "Of course not. I was only joking. You appreciate a good joke, darling?" she asked Hitler.
"Well, we better take the Fuhrer, as we are his personal escorts-"
Oh God no.
"Back to Applejack's farm."
"Of course, of course." Rarity said.
As Hitler was about to walk through the door.
"Wait, Mr. Fuhrer." Rarity said.
"What?" Hitler asked. He was kind of happy to have an excuse to not be in the same room as those blasted Cutie Mark Crusaders.
"Applejack's barn isn't the most comfortable place in Ponyville. You can stay here if you like." Rarity offered.
"Madam," Hitler replied. "I would not stay in the same house as your family even if my life depended on it."
Angrily, he barged out the door and slammed it shut.
"NOOOOO!" Rarity shrieked.
"So, where to next my Fuhrer?" Applebloom asked.
"Well-"
"Hey guys, maybe we'll get our cutie marks in personal escorts." she told Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.
"That'd be awesome," Scootaloo replied.
"Well, I was thinking of visiting what's her name? The one with the purple dragon that lives in a library?" Hitler asked anxiously.
"Twilight Sparkle?"
"Yes. I was going to visit her. Maybe she's found something to whisk me back to my world." Oh please God.
"We hope you never leave, Mr. Fuhrer." the Cutie Mark Crusaders hugged him by the legs. "We hope you stay with us forever."
Resisting the urge to faint or run away, he simply patted them on the heads.
"Well, I haven't gotten a response from Princess Celestia yet." Twilight said as she was rummaging through her books. "But if anyone can teleport you back to your world. It'll be her."
"I wish she would hurry up." Hitler said impatiently. "Truth be told those little Cutie Mark Crusaders have been driving me crazy."
"They've been known to do that. Where are they now?"
"I sent them to get me a cupcake," Hitler said. "I made sure to make it extra complicated so it will-"
"We're back!" Applebloom announced triumphantly.
"Oh no," Hitler muttered.
"Here's your vanilla-chocolate-pineapple-peanut butter-broccoli cupcake with a dash of rainbow." Applebloom said.
"Wow. That was... very nice of you." Hitler said. "Where ever did you manage to find it?"
"Oh, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash made it. Rainbow Dash isn't exactly the best baker in the world so-"
"Well thank you," Hitler said as he bit into the frosting. Swallowing the puke in his mouth he gave a very pained smile.
"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen Rainbow Dash around since she went off to Sugarcube Corner. She must be around somewhere though," Twilight Sparkle said unconcerned.
"Well, we better get going my little ponies." Hitler said.
"Alright. Bye Twilight."
"Bye girls. Bye Adolf."
After the Crusaders went out the door, Hitler turned to Twilight Sparkle.
"What are the chances that some moron would make the same exact cupcake that I wanted before I even purposefully wanted it so that it would take forever to make?"
"It's just Rainbow Dash. She does the impossible."
"I just wish she could do the impossible elsewhere."
(a/n Well, that concludes Chapter Two. I know, I'm terrible for making all those Cupcakes reference but I can't help it. If you have a suggestion, feel free to suggest it.)