Chapter Six—Aftermath.

Two days later I woke up to pain, looked around, saw Rainbow Dash's worried face looking back at me, weakly gave her the finger, and passed out again.

A day later I woke up feeling a hell of a lot better. Apparently my visitor of the hour was Pinkie Pie. The story of what happened was related to me, but since I'm writing this while still in a bit of pain, I'll skip the added details of Pinkie's embellishments and silliness and relate it directly.

As soon as I fell off the back of the Pegasus and everyone realized something bad was going on, Rainbow Dash and Luna apparently both took off to try to save me. Both their attempts broke down when they crashed into each other right underneath me and started falling themselves. So everyone in the stands was just sitting there, watching us fall to our deaths, when suddenly Fluttershy pulls up alongside us with a giant flock of birds, somehow grabs us all, kicked physics in the nads, and brought us all to a hospital or something. Of course Rainbow Dash and Luna were okay, because fuck you physics, but when my fall was arrested by the birds I apparently broke some ribs or something and was bleeding internally.

The Pegasus on duty that was supposed to rescue me was found unconscious, with a glass of odd smelling water—though how the glass was still on the clouds I don't know. He also had a lump on his head, as if whatever was in the water wasn't enough. I had several suspicions of what went wrong, but at the time I was alive and that was good enough.

And if you're wondering why I was still in pain after I was healed, apparently healing an injury as bad as I had takes more energy than can be done in one sitting, so it took several days for me to feel perfectly well again. When I finally did get better, the first thing I did was hug Fluttershy. She was surprised at that, and her wings flared before she could control them.

After that, I fought with the idea of trying to find the person responsible for my almost death. I decided against it when I realized that to take up the investigation would probably mean going back to Cloudsdale. Apparently my performance there made me a bit of a star to the ponies up there, so there's no way in hell they would let something like that happen again, but there was also no way in hell I would be taking my feet that far off of solid ground again.

Right after I hugged Fluttershy and left for home, I got ambushed by a speeding Rainbow Dash in a flying glomp attack that almost sent me back to the hospital, and definitely ended in us both in the dirt. Amidst profuse apologies and wailed could-have-beens, a more complete story began to knit together. Apparently it was Rainbow Dash that added the knot on the head of the rescuer, in an attempt to look good in being the first and fastest person to react to my falling. Her reasoning was that I was never in any danger, as the spells would have saved me if she hadn't been able to get to me for some reason.

Which made the conspiracy against me all the more interesting. There had to be more than one person involved in it, since something had to have removed the spells and someone had to have slipped the guy a knockout herb.

Her confession also put me in an interesting circumstance. But I'm a sucker for teary-eyed faces, sadly. "Lass, I think you've had punishment enough. Your event was apparently a basic failure and you crashed into a princess trying to 'save' me. I don't think it can get more embarrassing than that."

And just when I thought I was going to be able to be on my feet for a while, I was thrown off them again by another flying hug tackle. Curse my forgiveness. And curse really bony ponies. At least my earlier prediction about pony-glomps was proven false: No bones were broken.

As it turns out, however, the event actually wasn't a total failure. After being assured I was still alive—if injured and unable to return to the event—Celestia took things ably in hand and crowned the winners. She had to improvise a bit, since the planned ceremony was kind of hard without me, her sister, and the first prize winner there, but she did well enough, from all accounts.

And of course Pinkie Pie's party went over splendidly, though most of Twilight's cadre left shortly before it began, and Princess Celestia wasn't far behind. After all, royalty was hurt.

I eventually managed to trick Rarity into taking the costume back, by saying that it was damaged in the fall, and then 'forgetting' to pick it up ever again until she just stopped mentioning it.

And of course, none of the little fillies got their cutie marks. But I'm beginning to find that this is a bit of a foregone conclusion when dealing with them. I am somewhat saddened that they can't figure out something so obvious as what they're good at and what they like doing is what they are supposed to do, but Twilight has asked me in the past not to tell them to stop being twits.

Luna came by the night after I healed. Before she could open her mouth, I said, "Sorry for disappointing you. No eternal haunting for you, it appears."

"That's all you have to say? You almost died!"

"The key word there is almost. And no, it isn't all I have to say, but it's all I'm going to say. At least two someones tried to kill me and one has already been dealt with. And no, I won't tell you who that someone was."

"What makes you think there was more than one pony involved? Or that it was a murder attempt anyway?"

"Because someone removed the spells, someone clubbed the rescuer on the back of the head, and someone gave him some sleeping herbs. I know who did one of the things to the guard, but I don't know who did the other two."

"Are you going to keep looking for the pony guilty?"

"A year ago, the answer to that would have been a definite yes. I would have found the people responsible and they would have paid. But now… Well, I survived. And I have their number, now. I know someone is out to get me, and that means I'll be careful. I'll watch, but that's all. I won't actively hunt."

"I'm glad to know you're learning something from us, but are you sure that's wise?"

"No, I'm not sure it's wise. But that's what I'm going to do."

"If you're sure, I won't push you. The royal investigators we had looking into it couldn't find much anyway."

We talked of inconsequential matters, until Luna got ready to depart. "My sister seemed somewhat impressed by you, Navarone. She told me that she wanted to meet you in person. So don't seem too surprised if you get a royal notice soon about coming to Canterlot."

"You mean she wasn't pissed about my mistake in the parade?"

"Your mistake? We thought you did that on purpose, to show that humans considered everyone equals."

"See, that's what I told Twilight! And she said that wouldn't fly here! Heh, I wonder what she'll say when I tell her you said that."

"I didn't say it was smart, just that that was what we thought it was for. I'll be sure to tell Princess Celestia before she sends for you. She'll probably change her messenger from an axepony to a courier."

Before I could respond, she took off. I just don't know what to make of these ponies. Sometimes they just make me want to drink.

The invitation actually arrived the next day, by way of Spike. I was still asleep at the time, and fighting my way through another dream. I wasn't allowed to suffer its completion, though, since Twilight took it upon herself to wake me when the letter arrived.

"Look, lass, I know this is probably important or something, but did it really require waking me up?"

"It's a letter from the princess to you! Of course it's important!"

"First off, which princess? Second, couldn't you have just read it and then responded how you thought I would have? Though, thinking about it, that might well get me put to death."

"It's from Princess Celestia. And I did read it, but only because I automatically assumed it would be to me and thus didn't look at the outside before opening it."

"Where I come from, that's a felony. What did it say? Do I get some money for almost dying?"

"This is no time for joking! I have to get you ready for a trip to Canterlot!"

"Oh yeah, Luna mentioned something about that last night. Apparently Celestia was impressed or something, and decided it was about time to meet me in person. I don't reckon you have any sunglasses or something I could use to avoid meeting her eye-to-eye, do you?"

"What? No! There's no time for that! Your transportation arrives tomorrow, and I have to teach you how to act around her!"

"I thought you already did teach me how to act around her."

"Yeah, and look how badly you botched that up! Besides, that was for a public occasion. This visit will mostly be in private. After a formal apology ceremony to show that the Princesses feel terrible about letting their spells fail and almost kill you, you're to have dinner with them and a few other small things."

"Great, free food. Who else is going?"

"Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, according to the letter. Rainbow Dash, for the crown of the actual competition and for you to publicly thank her for trying to save you, and Fluttershy so you can thank her for actually saving you."

"I've already dealt with both of them in person, actually. And I'm pretty sure Fluttershy would be very averse to the attention. Think we could tell the princesses to chill on the thanks and to just give Rainbow Dash her trophy thing? And I also don't really need an apology anyway. Accidents happen, I suppose, and I'm still alive anyway."

"It's publicity, Navarone. You can't fight this. You and Fluttershy both will have to get over your aversion for public settings. I'm sure Rainbow Dash, at least, will enjoy the acclaim." I wouldn't be so sure about that, if I know anything about shame.

"So we're leaving tomorrow. When is this shindig set to happen? And are you going?"

"In a week. You're leaving tomorrow so you can prepare for the ceremonies and meet the princesses beforehand. And I can't go. Princess Celestia sent another letter asking me to work on a special project for her."

"Oh yeah, this is definitely a publicity thing. I thought these two were the leaders for life already anyway. Why do they need to do this crap?"

"It's to show everypony that they care." And just like that, I was back into it again. When I showed the letter to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, they both acted about as I expected them to: Fluttershy was flustered and denying the fact that she deserved any honor, and Rainbow Dash was pumped up for all of about five seconds before she realized that she almost got me killed and I had to publicly thank her for it.

So it was a very morose party that greeted the chariot that arrived the next day. Why Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash needed a chariot was beyond me, and if I was given free reign I'd have rather walked there, but I managed to hold my fears in check. My face was apparently rather wan, though, and Rainbow Dash remarked on it, laughing, before I gave her a very evil glare.

"I'm sorry, the last time I was this high in the air I was on a direct collision course with the ground. Forgive me a bit of wariness now that I'm forced back into the heights."

There was no more conversation on the way there.

The fanfare of our entering the city was practically nonexistent. Honestly, I don't know the point of this whole ceremony; most of the ponies that saw the events in question were Pegasi, and most of them were in Cloudsdale. And there was no TV here to record the process so that everyone could see it. I honestly figured it was just pretence for Princess Celestia to meet me face to face without alarming much suspicion, but that seemed a bit self-centered to me.

The Pegasi pulling the chariot dropped us off near the palace, and a short walk took us the rest of the way. We were quickly ushered into a small sitting room. I don't know why it was called a sitting room, as I don't recall there being any chairs; not many ponies sat down that often. There were at least a few sofas that I've seen ponies occasionally lounge in. There were a few book cases lining the walls, and a massive window covering the back wall, looking into some gardens. We were on the first floor.

I was just looking out the window and wondering if it was large enough for me to sneak out of when Princess Celestia unceremoniously walked in. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy stopped their little conversation about a bird called Philomena and bowed. I didn't notice her step in, and asked without looking, "Rainbow Dash, you think I could get out this window without anyone noticing?"

Celestia answered for her: "Why, Navarone? Are you so eager to escape from us? As highly as my sister speaks of you, I thought you'd be completely nonplussed at meeting me!"

I'm not going to lie: As soon as I heard her voice I turned around so fast I almost fell down, and turned a very brilliant shade of crimson. "Oh, uh, no!" I tried to remember what was outside the window, and recalled it was a garden of some kind. "I just wanted a closer look at some of the plants outside…" It was a feeble excuse, and the weak tone of voice I had when saying it pretty much gave me away, but she didn't comment on it.

She turned to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. "If you want to see Philomena, I think she's in the aviary. I could have somepony take you there, if you want to go. I know she still thinks of you, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy looked down and answered, "Oh, um, that would be… nice. If it's okay with you, I mean." Oh God, I can see where this is going. I started thinking about that window again, wondering if I could maybe get through it before she managed to send Rainbow Dash away.

Thankfully, though, Rainbow Dash seemed to realize what was going on. When Celestia asked if she wanted to go with Fluttershy, she was politely told no. I smiled to myself, before Celestia managed to ruin that. "I think I heard the Wonderbolts were practicing around that area today. You might run into a few of them if you go. But if you're sure…" Before she could even finish her sentence, Rainbow Dash was gone. Dammit.

"You know," I said, "that does sound interesting. I think I'll follow them…"

"Nonsense!" I was told. "We're going to have a conversation, you and I."

I leaned back against the wall I was standing near and assumed my most arrogantly nonchalant stance. I was starting to feel a bit hunted. "What kind of conversation did you have in mind?"

"Preferably a polite one. You obviously aren't used to showing deference to anypony, and I'm much the same. It will be nice to have an actual conversation with somepony instead of me ordering somepony to do something or having to listen to Twilight's stories." I knew someone else had to think Twilight's tales were boring. Occasionally, at the end of some event or something, she would spin out some kind of Aesop or something about how friendship relates to the situation we had just been in. I tune her out when she starts blathering on about that. Celestia continued, "It has been a long time since I was able to actually talk to somepony."

"And here I was thinking you would order me killed for being arrogant. Name your topic, then, and let us converse. Forgive me a lack of experience in some matters, however. I don't have a few thousand years to go on."

I'll skip over the conversation. It started at morality, went to philosophy, delved into human mentality versus pony mentality, dipped into the little physics I still remembered, dived into calculus, sauntered into some minor astrophysics theory, somehow meandered from there into underwater basket weaving, touched on modern human medicine, and finally ended on my impressions of some of the people I had met so far in Equestria.

"You know, Twilight's my star student, and I feel like I should defend her, but you pretty much nailed her spot on," Celestia laughed. "I had some idea of what to expect from you," she said on a more serious note, "but letters from Twilight and talks with Luna really don't do it justice. If you are anything like the rest of your species, which I've heard tell you say you aren't, I wouldn't complain to see more of them here."

"You might not, but I would. Technically, according to some theories, my home literally doesn't exist anymore. But I still can't help but think that somewhere, my family is missing me and wondering what the hell happened to me, and how I just completely disappeared out of my room. And some people are a lot closer to their family than I was. If you started taking more of them away, some of those people would resent you for it, and try to get back at you for it. And there is no force in the multiverse stronger than a group of humans plotting revenge. You may think you're immortal now, but piss some people off where I come from and you'd find out for sure. And if you are, you might end up wishing you weren't. And that's not to mention what I'll do if you kidnap more people."

She smiled at that, oddly. "An interesting response. So, what do you say to being alone here? The only human in our world. A very lonely position, I must imagine."

"I settled for being alone a long time before I got to this world, lass. Ending up here just reaffirmed that belief."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Back where I come from, I was nothing special at all. I didn't have the looks to get the shallow girls or the patience to get the smart ones. I've always been able to make everyone laugh, but that doesn't count for anything when your only humor is situational. I've always been good at talking and listening, but that doesn't help you get a date, it only helps the date go smoother. I was, in many cases, the second runner up; I don't know if you have the term 'friendzone' here, but I was the master at ending up there. I couldn't even count the number of times I heard 'any girl would be lucky to date you.' And then I end up here. Despite being among the most liberal-minded of my race, there's nothing I have to offer any of the women here and I know it. Even if one of them did somehow fall in love with me, I wouldn't allow it to go any farther and I'd do my best to get them to forget the feelings they have for me. There's only one way that road will end, and that's in pain."

"And if we could send you home?"

"I would disappear again just as fast, only this time the kidnapping party would be my government. People don't just disappear for several months and the reappear just as suddenly. Honestly, past the one month mark, there was no way I could go home anymore, not and have a reasonable hope for any kind of 'normal' life. I'm stuck here for the duration, I fear. If you and your subjects get tired of me, I'll just wander into the wilderness, I suppose."

"Why are you so sure that any relationship between you and a pony would end in pain?"

Oh lord, here it is. "If you haven't noticed, I'm a little bit different from your ponies. I'm bitter, jaded. To be quite honest, I don't even know if I could feel love anymore, let alone inspire it in someone else. I'm too radically different from you ponies. I'm too violent, too destructive, just too… different." The last was uttered with a loud sigh following it.

"And what would you do if you found the pony responsible for your little fall in Cloudsdale?"

"I've already found one of the ponies partially responsible. I… forgave her. But she only had a small part to play it in; my response might very well change if I find the person responsible for dispelling the magic keeping me safe."

"Speaking of that, what do you mean, the magic keeping you safe? I couldn't tell for sure when you were falling; did my spell fail alongside Luna's, or was hers the only one to break?"

"They both died. I noticed it in the middle of the last bout, when I started feeling really weary all of a sudden. That's probably why I had broken ribs instead of just being winded when my fall was checked."

"Interesting…" she muttered, before saying aloud, "And do you have any ideas on who might have been responsible?"

"Yes."

"…Well?"

"I will name no names until I'm certain one way or another, and until I determine a motive."

"You don't think I could have this pony questioned easier than you could?"

"I'm sure you could. But I don't want to get anyone else involved."

"Very well."

"Why are you so interested in my 'lonesome' status, anyway?"

"You are one of my subjects now, like it or not, and I like to know how they're feeling and what they're thinking. And since you're my only human subject, I can't base your feelings or thoughts off anypony else's." I could almost believe her. Almost.

"Right. Now, what about this whole apology or thanking or award ceremony thing?"

"Oh, that? That was just pretense for me to meet you face to face without alarming much suspicion." Well, shit. "The actual event will be more for publicity than anything else. A way to get you seen by the ponies of Canterlot, I suppose."

"Why? I'll probably be living in Ponyville for a while, yet."

For some reason, she smiled at that. "I'm sure. But it's still a good idea to let everypony know what's out there." I was starting to feel very suspicious about this whole thing and was wondering how far away I could get before anyone noticed I was gone, when Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash returned.

Fluttershy was thanking the servant that guided them in when Rainbow Dash said, "There sure weren't any Wonderbolts out there. I just spent a few hours looking at stupid birds."

"Oh, I know!" Fluttershy said. "It was wonderful! There were so many different types there, more than I've ever seen!"

Fluttershy and Celestia moved off to one side of the room to discuss birds, leaving me and Rainbow Dash alone. Normally Fluttershy is… well, shy, but when you get her talking about animals it is sometimes hard to shut her up. "You know, Navarone, it's not too late for us to sneak away. I'm pretty fast, even with you slowing me down. They probably wouldn't notice us gone until we were already home."

I grimaced at the thought of flying again so soon. "Nay, lass. I fear we're stuck here, at least for the time being. We're in the palace as royal guests, so if nothing else we'll be treated very well."

"You and Fluttershy, maybe. I think some of the servants here still hate me for a little stunt I pulled back during the Gala."

"Yes, I've heard tales of that. Still, the worst you'll have to deal with is a drafty room and ratty bedsheets. And we'll probably be berthed near each other, so if all else fails you can just go bunk with Fluttershy."

"What's that about being birthed? And what makes you think I wouldn't rather sleep in your bed?"

I raised an eyebrow at that. "Berthing—that's with an e, not an i—is a naval term for bunk, or bed. And I figure Fluttershy would probably be a lot warmer than I am; she's considerably more furry, if nothing else." Yes, I did learn some interesting things from Big MacIntosh, but I didn't learn any names.

"You're right. You're too bony to sleep with, anyway." I decided not to go poking my head in doors late at night while I was here.

The lull in our conversation coincided with a lull in the other conversation in the room, and Celestia quickly took steps to get out of talking about more birds: "Would you all like to see more of Canterlot? I can arrange a tour. Sadly, I can't spend any more time today with you, as I have pressing matters elsewhere to take care of."

We decided to go on the tour, lacking much else to do. All three of us are famous for some reason or another, apparently. Rainbow Dash is relatively famous for winning some competition a little while ago in Cloudsdale and being the only person to pull off a Sonic Rainboom—basically, she broke the sound barrier and because of the magic here, that released a massive rainbow or something like that. Fluttershy was apparently a famous model at some point in her life, if you can imagine that. I'm not going to pretend to be a judge of appearances for ponies, so I couldn't tell you how she looked, but I know she was graceful enough for it. And me? Well, I draw glances where ever I go, just by being me. It's like a white guy walking into a black club: The DJ's disk scratches, the music cuts off, all the conversations die off, and everyone just looks up at you. Put short, it's awkward. Ponyville had at least gotten used to me, but this place hadn't had the dubious honor of my presence for so long. Thankfully, the ponies here have a lot more tact than the down to earth 'country ponies' of Ponyville. While they did stare, they didn't rush their children inside at the first sight of me or whisper rude comments that I could half hear. That might have had something to do with the royal guard squad we had with us, though.

It was a nice city, but I was too busy making faces at some of the little colts that were following us to pay much attention. As soon as one got the courage to get close to us, I'd turn around and make a scary face or something and they'd run away again, only to repeat the process. Rainbow Dash thought it was funny, while Fluttershy was doing her best to pretend to not be a part of our group. The royal guards were all stony faced. I managed to get one to smirk with a particularly off-color joke that I won't reprint here, but one of his partners hit him and he went back to stoniness.

During that little episode of making the guard smile, I didn't notice one of the colts getting closer until he asked me a question. "Mister, what are you?"

I started, surprised. Then I smiled. "I'm a monster."

"What kind of monster?"

"The kind that eats kids that ask questions."

"Good thing there aren't any goats around, then." What the… oh yeah.

"I don't stop at lamb chops. Sometimes I like to nibble at ponies that ask too many questions as well."

That got his attention, but he quickly responded, "I don't think you'd have a royal escort and two pretty mares with you if that was true." Rainbow Dash cracked up at being called pretty, while Fluttershy just blushed. Suave. This will be fun.

"Maybe these two are just my tribute, and the royal guards are here to see me out of town so that I don't nab anyone else on the way."

"If that's the case, then why should I fear you? They'll just protect me if you try to eat me."

"You're assuming they'll care. Who knows? They might think it's a good idea to set an example of those that ask too many questions."

"Would you be willing to risk that?"

I gave an evil smile. "The better question is, would you?"

That shut him up for a minute, but he just started right back at it. "I don't think you're going to eat those two."

"Yeah. They're too skinny. I mean, look at this one!" I poked Rainbow Dash. "Flesh and bone. No meat on there. The other one, though, might be tender enough." I patted Fluttershy on the side. All I got for my efforts were two evil looks and another hidden smile from one of the guards.

"No, I mean, they're not trying to escape! If you were about to eat me, I think I'd be running away. And those two have wings, so they'd probably be able to get away from you easily."

"Maybe they don't want to escape. Have you ever tried being eaten? It might be really fun!"

"It doesn't sound like much fun."

"Neither does sex, but good God when you get going it's great!" Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash both kicked me and all the guards burst out laughing. The kid looked completely confused.

Rainbow Dash finally decided to step in. "First things first, look at who's calling who flesh and bone! You don't hardly even have any flesh! I know, because I was there when your ribs were so cut up you could see the bones! And second off, he's a human. They're a species of mostly jerks that live in another dimension. And third, he doesn't eat ponies. He only eats colts. So beat it, before he decides he's hungry and grabs you."

With that, and an even more confused look on his face, he fled.

Rainbow Dash looked at me, and just said, "Humans are so weird." I can't really deny that, but I think the same case could be made for ponies.

The rest of city was nice. There were plenty of monuments detailing events that I had no clue about, so I guess it's kind of like what visiting DC is like for most Americans.

I was walking around the gardens of the palace at night when Luna found me. Before I realized she was there, she said, "Scaring foals is no good way to make friends, you know."

"Yeah, but it sure is fun."

"From what I heard, though, you didn't so much scare him as confuse the poor colt. I think he'll be having some awkward conversations with his parents soon."

"We all gotta learn stuff like that at some time. I don't know where you heard about that anyway."

"I have my sources." More like the guards told Celestia and she told you. As though reading my thoughts, she said, "It's amazing what the guards talk about, sometimes. It appears as though you made quite an impression on them."

"Well, from the looks of them, it takes something special to get them to laugh like that."

"Not just that, though. Apparently there's talk that you were closeted away—alone—with their Princess Celestia for a few hours. That is not something that is done. I'm somewhat curious as to what she had to do to get them to leave her in peace for so long."

"What can I say? I'm a disarming kinda guy." It was interesting, though. It meant she wanted to talk to me without word of what we were saying getting around. And it meant that Luna had moles in Celestia's guard. God, I hate dealing with politics. Everything means something and most of it is bad for you. These two opponents had age on me, but I'm pretty sure a human can outpolitic anything.

"I'm sure," she said in a very dry tone. "What did you two talk about?"

Trap question, in more ways than one. Let's see… this could be a plot between the two sisters to see which I trust more and what I'm willing to say to one about the other. It could be a simple question, small talk. It could be an attempt to find an edge on her sister. God I hate politics.

I decided on an easy answer. "This and that. She doesn't have many people to talk to and have a conversation with, so that's what we did." A true answer, and it opens her up. If she pushes for more, I know something is up. And this way, I look innocent in that I didn't understand the true purpose of her asking.

"You weren't saying anything bad about me, I hope."

"Why lie, my dear?" She smiled. My answer could mean a lot, but when a women has the option of taking something in a way that makes them feel better about themselves, I've found, they'll take it that way. Unless the other option is an insult, in which case they'll always choose the option that makes the guy out to be a villain. In truth, though, we didn't talk about her at all. At least, thinking back to some of Celestia's awkward ending questions, I hope we didn't.

"Ever the charmer, I see," she said sarcastically.

"I'm a hopeless romantic, what can I say?" I answered with just as much sarcasm.

"One of these days, your tongue is going to get you into trouble."

"That's why I'm friends with two princesses. They usually have some good sway in whose tongue gets cut off and when."

"And what if the ponies you get into trouble with are those two princesses?"

"I'll play them off each other and end up scott free while they bicker and fight."

"I'll have to remember that."

"Surely you wouldn't want me to lose my tongue. I make much nicer sounds with it than I would without it."

"I don't know, all mares like stallions that listen. And without a tongue, you'd be doing a lot less talking and a lot more listening."

"I've also heard all girls like a guy that can make them laugh. It would be a lot harder to do without a tongue."

"We can get you a silly hat."

"Lady," I said, feigning shock, "I am no mere jester."

"We can teach you to play an instrument, so you can serenade us while we talk to the stallions that don't make us mad enough to cut off their tongues."

"If I had to listen to a man that boring, I'd rather beat myself to death with the instrument than play it."

"We can remove your ears, as well."

"Ah, but then I won't be able to take orders, or tell if I hit a false note. I could play terribly and never hear the order to stop." She grimaced at that, and I could well agree. If nothing else, it would be a nice revenge.

"Yes, you might drive away the other stallion."

"I'd be doing you a favor, I believe. Anyone worth listening to will probably manage to infuriate you at least once."

"That reminds me, you never did thank me."

"What, for trying to get me killed?"

She looked unduly alarmed at that. "What do you mean? I tried to save you!"

"Yeah, and it was your fault I was in that position at all!"

"How did you… I didn't know somepony else was going to try to get you! I was supposed to be the pony to save you!"

"…Wait, what?"

"…Um. What did you mean by, it was my fault?" So.

I said, very slowly, "I meant that you were the reason the event kicked off… What did you mean?"

She turned bright red, red enough that I was able to tell she was blushing even though it was night out. Instead of answering, though, she raised her wings and flew off before I could stop her. Well, at least I'll have something to talk to Celestia about the next time I see her.

On that note, I went to bed. Or I should say, I went to my room, only to find my bed being occupied by a very flustered Fluttershy.

"I thought this was my room," I said, hastily jumping off of a somewhat lumpy Fluttershy; I didn't turn any lights on when I entered and just went straight to the bed.

"It is… Rainbow Dash came into my room early in the night, saying her room was cold. She ended up taking over most of the bed and she was really hoovesy, so I came here since I know you don't sleep much. If… If that's a problem, I can go take over her room…"

"Nah. I'll just go stay in her room. I don't think I'll be sleeping much anyway."

Instead of trying to sleep, I paced back and forth across the floor of Rainbow Dash's room, trying to figure out what Luna meant. It is possible that she was the one that removed the spell on me, but I couldn't figure out why, especially since she dove to save me. Murder was impossible, given that she tried to save me. Securing my loyalty by being the one to save me? That would probably mean she'd want my help in a move against her sister. Even Luna, naïve though she occasionally was, had to know I would not be willing to help her kill her sister. Boredom? Nobles get bored, I grant you, and have odd ways of relieving that boredom, but I couldn't put so unreasonable an assumption to the fore of my mind.

I shuddered as a brisk spring wind blew through the window, shaking me from my reverie. I can tell why Rainbow Dash left the room afte—Wait. The inner FPS gamer in me had noticed all the normal sounds of the palace at night, and something new was added to them. I could hear a slight… flapping, like a bird trying to escape a cage.

I had no candles lit, so I pulled out my lighter, dreading what I would find. I flicked it on and in its small, flickering light, beheld a half-moth-half-something-all-monster poisonous looking thing. I'm not going to lie or sugar coat it: I fucking screamed and booked it. I didn't even think about pulling out my knife. Thankfully, I managed to not drop my lighter, and the flame was extinguished in my mad flight.

I managed to rip the door open, almost off its hinges, and I probably slammed it so loud that I woke half the bloody palace. I was scrabbling on the door for locks when a guard came up behind me, put his hoof on my shoulder, and almost received a bloody nose for the trouble. It was one of Luna's night guards.

"What's going on?" he asked me.

"Big... moth… THING!" I yelled, pointing to the room.

He shouldered me aside and slowly pulled the door open. Sure enough, the very big moth thing was definitely still there. The door was quickly slammed shut again, with two of us now scrambling for a lock. Some guard he was.

We were at it until more guards were called and they thought there were enough to take on whatever the hell that thing was. And of course, when they opened the door again, the beast was gone, probably having flown back into the night.

"Shit," I said, "I thought this place was supposed to be a nexus of happiness and love. What the dick was that?" At least I can know I wasn't crazy. There was at least one guard that saw the damn thing.

"Navarone, why are you trying to wake my castle?" Celestia had arrived, to her usual fanfare of everyone bowing in her direction. "I hope nothing is terribly amiss." I quickly noticed something… off about her appearance. It took me a second to realize what it was: Her hair wasn't moving and it was just pink now.

"Nay, nothing too bad. Just some giant moth thing hovering in my bloody room, possibly trying to murder me."

"Your room is down the hall. I believe that is Rainbow Dash's room. Why are you outside of it and panicking instead of outside of your room and panicking?"

"Rainbow got cold and went to Fluttershy's room to sleep. Rainbow isn't much of a bed fellow and Fluttershy isn't much for pointing things like that out, so she went to my room to sleep. I wasn't going to sleep that much anyway, so I went to Rainbow Dash's room since it was empty and I needed to think. And then some big thing flew in the bloody window with a possibly murderous intent."

"You said it was a moth. How do you know it wasn't just drawn to a light?"

"The room was dark; I left the window open and the curtains pulled back so I could get the light from the moon. Whatever the beast had in mind, natural moth-like tendencies towards light were not involved."

"Did anypony else see it?"

"Aye, a night guard came rushing to my aid when I shouted." I looked around for the fellow, but the excitement, it seemed, had been too much for him for he was nowhere to be seen. "Odd, he was just here. Anyone see one of Luna's guards walk away?"

One of the day guards spoke up then, refuting my claim: "There were no guards posted in this area, Princess. You told us to give the guests no sign that they were confined, so we didn't think any guards here would be needed. The disturbance was reported by a servant that was coming to check on the guests to see if they had any needs. The only way a guard would have been here would be on his own volition." This guard, at least, had a bigger plume than the others. He still looked exactly the same as the rest of the day guards: A white Pegasus with a hard blue stare and a Romanesque helmet, but he had the distinguishing mark of higher rank. I've often heard it said that, when seeking someone important in the military, look for the man with the fanciest or biggest hat.

"I don't care what he says, there was a guard here that saw what I saw. Not like he did anything with it in terms of protecting me; he was just as eager as I to get that bloody door shut."

"Are you sure you didn't just have a bad dream?" Celestia asked. "I know Twilight mentioned that you seem plagued by them."

"My definition of a 'bad dream' is memories of a home that I was rudely ripped from, not monsters. Monsters are easy to escape, and they go away when you wake up. Fond memories haunt you forever. I was awake when it happened anyway, so I know it was not a dream."

"Are you sure you weren't just seeing things? You said it was dark, you could have just been imagining it. And if you get as little sleep as you say, it could have just been a waking dream."

"Aye, it could have been possible, but it was rather unlikely. For one, the beast was still there when I opened the door with the guard to check, and for two, I heard the bloody thing when it was inside. I could hear the gentle humming of its wings as it hovered in place."

"If you are certain of what you saw, then, I'll have the guards look outside for it and keep a lookout in the other rooms of the palace in case it reappears. I know of a creature that fits its description, but I haven't heard of one being sighted in many, many years. We shall talk more on it in the morning, as I wouldn't want to keep all of you awake for any longer than necessary. Go back to your beds, my guests. This matter will be taken care of." That was when I first saw Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were also awake, and looking at me with apparent concern.

"Fine, we can table it until the morning. But there's more to talk of than just that, and I'd rather have you alone to discuss it, Princess, if you don't mind my temerity in asking."

She arched an eyebrow, but said "Very well, then. Guards, go about your business and look for any signs of this creature. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, feel free to go back to bed. Navarone, we can have another room drawn up for you, if you wish."

"Nay, I don't think I'll be getting any sleep tonight. Do you have any big rooms with lots of books?"

In hindsight, I probably should have guessed that some servant was really annoyed with those proceedings and would lead me straight to the royal treasury record room instead of the library, but at least there I was able to snatch a few hours of troubled sleep in physical, if not mental, peace. I know I said I didn't feel tired, but hell, it's amazing what extreme paranoia added on to the literal fear of getting my face eaten does to you. When I finally got settled on the floor of the musty treasury chamber, I wasn't sitting for two minutes before I fell out.

And because everything about that trip seemed destined to make me feel bad, I got woken up by getting kicked in the ribs by a very hard hoof. Apparently the servant that thought to play the joke of putting me here didn't mention my presence to the incoming treasurer, and he was trying to get what he considered an unwelcome intruder out of his hair. Bloody stuck up bureaucrat. I sometimes find it a shame that I considered charisma the dump stat of my life; times like these are when I really wish I had paid more attention to friends back on my world.

Long story short, I extricated myself from the treasury at a dead run, followed by a string of curses that seemed odd to hear coming from a pony.

Apparently that servant pony also forgot to tell anyone else where I was. I wandered upon a search party combing the castle for me a bit later.

"When we couldn't find you in any of the palace libraries, or any of the other locations with books, or any of the guest rooms, we really started to worry!"

"Yeah… some jokester took my meaning of asking for a roomful of books as meaning a bloody treasury record room." A jokester I mean to hurt, if I can find again.

"Princess Celestia is waiting for you. Please, follow us."

I did.

Princess Celestia was waiting in the same sitting room we were in yesterday. "Thank goodness you found him. Go tell the rest of the search parties he's safe." When they had bowed and exited, she looked at me. "Get comfortable. We're going to be here a while, we're going to be talking about awkward things, and there's a chance that nothing we say here will ever leave this room." Oh, shit. I leaned against the wall with the window, partially sitting on the windowsill. I had a really, really, really bad feeling.

"Look, if this is about—" I started, before being cut off.

"No, we're going to talk about my sister, first. What happened last night? What did you say to her, and what did she say to you?"

"She accidentally admitted to being the one to remove the spells on me in the competition, I think."

"I already know that much. What else?"

Oh God, this really is bad. "…We were talking about my conversation with you. I didn't know if she was trying to pry me for details about what I told you or if she was just making conversation." Something clicked, then. "Wait, what do you mean you knew?"

"In a minute. What else did you talk about?"

"We were joking around, fake flirting I think. Surely you don't think I… What is this about?" I was getting scared, now.

"That would do it," she muttered. "Okay, here's how it stands. And listen, I'm only going through this once. Luna is apparently in love with you, for whatever reason. She removed her own spell on you during the competition and made sure the other rescuer had a drink that knocked him out. She thought that, even if she did fail to save you, my spell would make sure you didn't die. And if she had succeeded in saving you, that you would be grateful to her. Grateful enough, perhaps, to admit to returning those feelings of love. I know this because she told me right after she woke up from her collision with Rainbow Dash. She felt so terrible about your injury… I promised not to tell you until after this little event we had planned in a week, to see what you would do towards her. However, apparently when she mistook your comment last night, she thought I had told you and that you were recovering from your slip of the tongue with a clever comment about her involvement. For some reason, and this is something you might be able to help me with, she tried to kill Rainbow Dash last night. The moth creature is a kind of night creature that only Luna or the most powerful of magic users can control. I suspect the guard you saw last night was positioned to make sure Rainbow Dash didn't make it. After he disappeared, he reported to Luna that the attempt had failed, and that instead of targeting Rainbow Dash it had almost targeted you. She was rather distraught, and immediately saw herself to my chambers, where she confessed all of this to me. She's sitting in my quarters still, crying her eyes out. This puts me and you in awkward positions here, and awkward doesn't even begin to describe Luna's position."

She was silent for a few minutes, letting that sink in. It was… a lot to take. And it sounded like a God damn drama flick. Unrequited love, a botched murder attempt that almost took out the love interest, a young, naïve princess falling in love with a common monster… I looked up at Celestia. "Look, Princess, you have to know, I had no idea… I didn't… I didn't know!"

"I'm not blaming you. Yet. However, I do need to know some things. First, do you know why she tried to kill Rainbow Dash?"

I nodded slowly, putting some pieces together in my mind. "I have a… suspicion. And in the spirit of friendship, I ask that you don't act on this." I waited for her nod. "Rainbow Dash is the one that gave the rescuer the knot on his head. She didn't know any of the spells had been removed, or that Luna was trying to do anything. She just wanted to look good for the Wonderbolts. Luna may have pieced that together from some of the things I told her. Or she may have assumed that Rainbow Dash was trying to save me because Rainbow Dash loved me. When I first met Luna, I had been doing an experiment with Rainbow Dash and Applejack, and I may have mentioned that I learned a few interesting secrets about Rainbow Dash, but I didn't expound upon what they were. It's so long ago that I don't really remember anymore. Luna may have just been trying to eliminate a rival to what she conceived as her position on my list of people that I 'love.'" Come to think of it, though, MacIntosh said she didn't want a stallion. He didn't say specifically that she wanted a mare instead… It was possible, but very, very unlikely, that Rainbow Dash also loved me. Personally, I don't believe it, but the way this day is going, who knows?

"That fits with what she told me. I admit that I don't like letting something like assault go, but I fear I might be guilty of more crimes than that after this. Now, for the important question: How do you feel about Luna? Or, rather, how did you feel about Luna before all this?"

"I do not love her. I saw her as a friend. She's a God damned horse! I can't imagine… God!"

She smiled at that. "I don't know if I should feel insulted by that or grateful. Now, what should we do?"

"I don't know. I'm worried, Celestia. If we don't handle this well, I'm fucked. I don't know how much you know about it, but unrequited love can end in a few ways: the lover gets over it, the lover obsesses in silence until they die, the lover obsesses aloud or in poetry, or the lover kidnaps the love interest and holds them captive until Stockholm syndrome takes over and they're loved back." That doesn't happen often. But then, it isn't often that a princess with magic falls in love with someone without magic. Of course, magic isn't that common where I come from anyway. "If we screw up, we might all think this is blown over, and then one day I disappear and can never be found again."

"One way or another, you have my word that I will not let that happen. I'll imprison her until you die of old age before I let her kidnap somepony and force them to love her against their will." I was somewhat relieved at that, and somewhat saddened at the thought that it might come to that. "Now," she continued, "how do you think we should handle this?"

I thought. "Who all knows that Luna tried to murder Rainbow Dash?"

"Me, you, Luna, and the guard."

"How trustworthy is the guard?"

"Third generation. He'll do whatever he's told without question."

"There are a few problems in saying we just pretend this whole thing never happened. It will give Luna hope that I return her feelings. And if we do pretend it never happened, it makes it look to her like something like this is okay. I don't envy the stallion she'll eventually properly fall in love with if he doesn't return her feelings. How can we show her that attempted murder is not okay while at the same time making sure as few people know about this as possible, and make sure she knows that I don't love her without either pissing her off enough to kidnap me or grieving too terribly?"

"It would grieve me terribly to do it, and it might make her hate me, but I could imprison her again."

"Not an option. The people would never accept her back if they found out why she was being imprisoned, and you know someone would be asking the question. Dodging the question or lying would backfire, as I'm sure there are only so many crimes a royal princess could do that would warrant exile. I would prefer this ending with all parties reasonably pleased with what they get."

"If I had the magic to make you into a pony, would you be willing to give love with Luna a chance?" So that's why she was asking!

"And lose my thumbs? Hell no. Have you ever tried turning a page without them? Impossible."

"I'm being serious, Navarone."

"As am I, at least in my answer."

"And what if she was willing to become a human?"

Now that stumped me for a bit. "I have a few problems with that. Wouldn't that bring a lot of awkwardness on the royal family?"

"Yes. But I'm willing to deal with awkwardness in order to make you both happy."

Hmm. "Is the transformation permanent?"

"It could be reversed, yes. Apparently she's tested it a few times. She was going to surprise you on the last night of the week before the celebration."

That sounded ominous, in a few ways. "I find myself objecting to the idea of love stemming only from appearances. I think that, if I was a person someone deserved in terms of love, I would accept them for who they are, and not have to force them to adapt to my standards. Why is this any different?"

"To be honest, that's exactly the answer I expected from you, and philosophically I'm pleased to hear it. However, in terms of the situation, this puts us in a bad spot. What can we do?"

This is a bad, bad idea… "You could kill me."

The pervading silence was very awkward, to say the least. "And what," she finally asked, "would that solve?"

"Not you personally, mind. The guard that knows Luna ordered the attack would be best, so she would hate him for it instead of you. I can't believe I'm actually suggesting this… Think about it: with me dead, there are now three people that know about this, and none of the three of them will ever make any mention of it. The guard will very likely end up dead soon after, or find himself reassigned. Sucks for him, boohoo, that's what he gets for not abiding by the Nuremberg Laws. Luna will grieve but she'll get over it eventually. Her anger at Rainbow Dash will end, since there's no reason for her to be a threat anymore."

"That still leaves her going unpunished for crime of attempted murder, and we'll have a murderer guard on the staff."

"Have the guard put to death, then. If he follows two orders to murder, he's not safe to have around. And if you put the guard to death for murder, Luna will never suspect you of having ordered my death. Console her in her grief, and tell her that you think she's been punished enough. She'll buy it, because you're a merciful leader and a good sister."

"That's a perfect solution, but for one issue. I'm not going to order somepony murdered."

I let out a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding. "I'm not going to say I'm disappointed."

"I would be worried if you were," she said drily. "Now, we need something else."

"I can think of one more thing to try, but it's hardly perfect. How often does Luna leave the castle?"

"Every now and then to see you, but other than that she's usually here."

"Forbid her from leaving at all, aside from a few state functions that it would be noticed if she wasn't there. Attempted murder where I come from has a sentence of, like, five years or something. There's a chance that, at the end of that sentence, she'll have forgotten her love for me. But there's also just as much of a possibility that she'll come out of it with me foremost in her mind. God, there's just no good way to do this!" We thought for a while. I sighed. "Princess, if you honest to God truly believe the best solution would be me admitting love to Luna, I can lie. I don't like the idea of it and you don't like the idea of it. But… what else can we do? She's young, yet, and will eventually find that this isn't what her heart wants. But we don't exactly have the time to wait for her to realize that."

"No, that wouldn't go over well. One mistake on your part and everything is ruined. What we need is an arbiter that will give us everything we need and that Luna can't touch with royal power. Somepony wise that perhaps lives beyond my realm, and would have nothing to gain from trying to blackmail us. Somepony that Luna doesn't know we know and can't know that we're influencing."

We both came to a conclusion at the same instant, and we both spoke aloud: "Zecora!" "The dragon!" We both paused, then said the same thing at the same time, "Of course! That makes much more sense!" We both paused again, and I nodded at her to explain. Before I go over that, I feel I should talk a bit about the dragon: He's an ancient dragon that Twilight and her friends ran into a few months back. He was smoking up the countryside by snoring or something. He's ancient. I've already discussed Zecora.

Celestia said, "Zecora would be a lot more trustworthy than the dragon, and a lot less dangerous to deal with. I've heard Twilight talk about her wisdom, and I know Luna doesn't read the letters from Twilight about her silly lessons on friendship. Luna may know Zecora from her small, small time in the forest, but it's unlikely. We don't actually control the forest anymore, so she technically lives outside of my realm and can't be legally touched by Luna in revenge." She then nodded at me to explain.

"The dragon would have to be ancient to grow to even the unexaggerated size I was told about. Luna would have to accept the wisdom in his words as they hold behind them so much experience. He might be dangerous to deal with, but that works in his favor. Luna would be afraid to make a move against him later. And you've honestly never had any dealings with him yourself, aside from getting Twilight and her cadre to move the fellow. He might have to be woken up again, but I'm sure even one such as he couldn't ignore a royal invitation. And we know that as soon as we tell him goodbye, he'll never, ever tell anyone, since he'll probably bugger right back off and sleep for a hundred years." Honestly, both answers made sense. Due to time constraints, however, Zecora was sent for at once.

"So, what do we get her to tell Luna?" I asked.

"Confined to the palace for five years for attempted murder. Forget her crush on you. Stop acting like a child instead of a several thousand year old princess."

I nodded. "When Zecora gets here, I can't be allowed to see her. And when she gives her verdict, I can't be in the room. It should be just the three of you."

"I know, Navarone. This whole situation is just… bad."

"Yeah, you're telling me…What about the whole celebration thing in a week? I don't know if it'll be a good idea to let Luna see me so soon after this goes down."

"As much as I'd like to think she'd take it well, she's probably still in my room crying. You're right. When Zecora leaves, you can all go with her. We'll just tell everyone Zecora was here to bring a cure for Luna, who came down with a sickness after running into your moth creature from last night. No one else alive knows what they are, and it will easily be passed off as a onetime thing. Luna will have killed it, but not before it hit her with a slow acting poison that I can't cure but Zecora can, with her odd tribal medicines. This is all just a mess… I haven't had to do this much damage control since Luna tried to rebel the last time."

"This is my first time dealing with something like this, at least. Hopefully it will be my last. I hate dealing in politics; it's usually easy, as people are easy to manipulate, but sometimes shit like this comes up and just blows up in everyone's face."

We sat in silence for several minutes, just thinking. Something, though, was nagging a bit at me, something I should have picked up on earlier. "You said Luna only removed her spell on me… What about your spell?"

"I just… don't know. It could not have worn off. It is possible Luna accidentally removed it as well, but in the middle of day like that, my spell should have been too strong for her to touch. To put it in your blunt terms, your life kind of sucks. You spend the first part of your life learning so much to get a job in your world, instead of making friends. Then you get sucked here, where almost none of what you learned applies anymore. Then, in the short time you've been here, you've had somepony you don't love fall in love with you, enough to risk your life over it, you've almost been murdered by at least three people in one instant and then almost murdered again on accident by one of those same people that also loves you, and then you had to help solve a crisis that wasn't your fault and against which you were honestly the only victim, but if wasn't solved would have created a scandal that would end up with Luna and me embarrassed for perhaps forever."

"And that's not mentioning the fact that I got kidnapped once by Rainbow Dash, almost killed by three little lasses trying to get their Cutie Marks, I'm constantly plagued by bad dreams, and I'm occasionally forced to wear really gaudy clothing."

"The dreams I knew about, the clothing I knew about, and I've even heard some of the things the 'cutie mark crusaders' have done to you. But Rainbow Dash also kidnapped you?"

"Yeah, that was the precursor to the whole rodeo thing. She wanted some questions answered and she didn't want to ask them the traditional way, what with the possibility of me lying and all. So she had Twilight enchant a piece of stone to put in her sky mansion and didn't say why. Then Rainbow Dash kidnapped me, flew me to her mansion, and threatened to leave me up there until I told her what she wanted to know."

"You realize that this is now the second criminal offense I have to pretend to not know about her, right? Is there anything else that she's done to you, to make it a nice three?"

"Well, she did accidentally break my window once. I have absolutely no idea how she didn't end up injured at all, but she managed."

"Yes, I do remember that one; I ended up paying for that window, I believe. From the sound of things, Luna had a bit of a right to be jealous of Rainbow Dash," she said, sarcastically. "You talk about Luna maybe kidnapping you and holding you against your will, but Rainbow Dash actually did. And she must have been in a pretty big hurry to see you if she broke a window to get to you. There's also the fact that she, too, wanted to be the one to save you. She said she had a different reason, but ponies do crazy things for love…"

"While I was surprised to hear that Luna loved me, I would be absolutely and one hundred percent shocked if Rainbow Dash did. I think I know who she's into, and it's not me."

"I'm tired after dealing with that whole mess and looking for a chance to relax. Gossip seems a decent way to waste some time. Do tell!" I was committed, now, and revealed what Applejack and I discovered back at the farm. In case Rainbow Dash somehow gets her hooves on this, I'll leave my suspicions unprinted. She'll already defame my death enough if she reads what we really did to her at the barn, but I don't need her digging my body up and abusing it on top of everything else.

"Wow! And she doesn't even suspect? I never would have guessed… Anything else?"

"Spike likes Rarity. I'm pretty sure she knows and is just using him for free labor. Fluttershy would like to be a tree. Pinkie Pie is probably manic depressive. Nothing really that juicy or interesting, sadly. I don't gossip much with them."

"Oh, come on. You've lived with Twilight for the past several months. You have nothing to show for that?"

"Alright, but only because you never revoked the 'nothing leaves this room' pact…" I'll also leave this unprinted, because I don't trust Twilight's magic to not find a way to revive me and then kill me again, in a more painful manner. And if I'm not dead, well, fuck me. I hope whoever is reading this doesn't like the idea of blackmail.

When I finished, Celestia was quiet for a minute. I honestly thought I went too far for a second, until she just burst out laughing. "No way! Just no way! Are you sure?"

"As sure as I can be without actually asking her, yes. And there is no way in hell I will be doing that. And you won't, either, because she'll wonder how you found out. And then when you don't tell her and she finds out that we were talking alone for several hours, she'll put two and two together. If she ends up beating me for that, I'll find a way to get back at you, princess or not."

"I believe it, and I can understand why! I never thought… Wow! And you never once thought to move?"

"And where else am I going to go? Fluttershy lives in a small cottage full of animals. Rainbow Dash lives in a mansion in the sky. Rarity… just no. Pinkie Pie lives in a rented room, I think, and she scares me anyway. Applejack, maybe, but I don't really like living in the farm atmosphere; I tried it a few times, and it's just not for me. And before, when living here with you and Luna might have been an option, it would have separated me from the only other people I ever knew here. That isn't even an option anymore, though, so yeah."

"Well, it could be an option. You always have the option of pretending to love Luna and staying here. Maybe one day it'll become true. Or I could turn you into a pony and let you romance her the hard way."

"Luna may be a bit naïve, but she isn't stupid. I learned at least that much from our talks. She may believe I love her, but she would figure out rather quickly that I was the male pony if you turned me into one. Besides, it just doesn't seem fair to her, to let her be with someone that doesn't—or can't—feel the same way she does."

"I know. It was more in jest than an actual offer."

"Aye. It's a damn shame this happened. I honestly didn't think… I'm still used to human women, you see. My culture… everyone there grows so desensitized to stuff like I was saying to her, the little flirty remarks. I never once imagined it would turn into… this."

"I understand, Navarone, and I don't blame you. Really, I should have noticed some of the warning signs. She started acting strange not long after she met you, and left more and more of her royal duties undone in order to visit you."

"Thinking about it, you probably shouldn't tell her about this conversation at all. I don't want her to get hurt, but nor do I want her to keep obsessing after me. Getting enough people to tell her this is a pointless love might drill it through her head. Unlikely, I know—God help me, I learned that the hard way—but possible."

"What do you mean, you learned it the hard way?"

"Hah. A bit of gossip about my old life that no one here knows, which is probably for the best. And that's the way it will stay, aside from you, we clear?" I waited for her nod once again before continuing. "Alright, you won't believe this, but I'll tell you anyway. When I was younger, about thirteen or fourteen, I was a helpless romantic. Yes, I see you laughing, don't try to hide it. I was, I admit it with no shame. Anyway, there was a girl I liked. Completely out of my reach. Famous, beautiful—stunning, even—talented, and impossible for a guy like me to touch. I was nothing, you see, just a face in the crowd. I was a face in the crowd, but a face that wore his love openly on it. Without even pausing, when I met her, she just kept walking. Didn't even grace me with a look. Everyone I told before said it would happen, that she was nothing but a pretty face without a personality to back it up. Friends, family, and even my parents told me not to bother. But love, I thought, love could conquer anything. I learned… God, how I learned." That story isn't actually true, by the way. "Love, I found then, is a weakness to be used against you. You give someone power over you and hope they don't abuse that power. You give someone the power to hurt you, to crush you, to make you what they want. And yet, as long as they give you any attention, any hint of affection, that is love well spent, as far as you're concerned. Until… Until, my dear friend, you look back. You look back and see what you have become, and what you have gained because of it. I realized this, realized the weakness love gave me, and with that I severed all its holds over me. I slowly became inured, strong yet weak, impregnable yet alone. I would not want that fate for your sister. I do not want anyone to learn the lesson I did, because it is not true, as I later found out. I eventually saw true love, lass, and with it came a realization that the love I described? It is nothing, it is obsessive love, it is unrequited love, something that only one party feels, while the other merely uses that love to suit them. The kind of 'love' my parents felt towards each other, for a time. Maybe I rant. Maybe I am still young. You, who have lived a thousand years and more, can you tell me I am wrong?"

"Honestly, Navarone, I have never loved, not as a mare loves a stallion. What you say sounds pretty, beautiful, perhaps, and I would like to believe it. I cannot imagine love as a selfish thing. And it is obvious that, though you say you cannot love, that you at least care about my sister, and I am grateful for that, at least."

"Say what you want about me, but never let it be said that I like to hurt others. One of my real reasons for avoiding relationships is because I don't want to get hurt myself, and that I don't want to hurt others should I decide to break up. Selfish, perhaps, but it is true."

"Why is the desire to protect yourself and others selfish?"

"I somewhat wonder if you're just testing me with these questions, or if you are honestly confused by them." I waited for a reaction, but got none. Smiling, I continued, "Is it truly fair to assume someone is unable to handle pain of their own, and to deny them any 'happiness' they might receive from my attentions, however brief? While I myself would not find such a thing worth it, for the pain received at the possibility of a breakup is too much for one such as I that remembers everything too well—including pain, sadly—it is not worth it at all. So I assume everyone is like me in that regard. But I also know that isn't true."

"I can see why that might be considered selfish, but it could also be considered selfless: Denying yourself happiness to avoid causing pain in others."

"Therein lies the dilemma. Just… do me a favor and don't tell Luna about this conversation at all, unless you think you can find a way to tell her that I don't love her without her either coming after me like an avenging angel or her coming after me like a stalker serial rapist."

"If she doesn't stop loving you in the five years she's to be confined, you'll have to deal with her then. And I'm almost certain she will be considerably more angry at you when she discovers that she held her love for you for five agonizing years of waiting, while you never once loved her."

I grimaced at that. "What would you have me do, then? You could tell her now, and risk having her not accede to the five year imprisonment or risk hurting her, or you could not tell her and let her assume I love her, and in five years I can either disappear or voluntarily accede to her unrequited love and retire in peace with her. Who knows how she or I will feel in five years? With my luck, there's a good chance I'll be dead."

"Even your luck isn't bad enough to get you killed."

"Aye, but there's still another murderer running around, the person that removed your spell. Unless I can get that resolved, I'll be a target. A wary target, but still marked."

"You know how to think negatively."

"It's a talent, it is. So how long do you think it will be until Zecora gets here?"

"I told Twilight that it needs to be done as soon as possible. Knowing her, she'll finish reading whatever she was in the middle of before getting on it, but hopefully she'll actually hurry for once."

"What should I tell Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?"

"Tell them what we're going to make the official story: The monster you saw found Luna in one of her moonlight strolls around the gardens, bit her, and we needed Zecora to heal her. But she'll be unconscious for a while anyway, and I'll be watching over her. In light of that, the event is canceled."

"I will be sure to tell them, then. This is not something I really wanted to wake up to, but at least we were hopefully able to deal with it. Oh, and if Luna begs to talk to me one time before we leave, tell her it's part of her punishment, and that you never told me she loves me."

"Don't worry, Navarone. I know what to tell her."

We exchanged a few more pleasantries and bits of unimportant gossip before we parted ways, her to visit and try to calm Luna, I to tell Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy what the hell was going on and why they were locked in their rooms. Well, our version of what the hell was going on, at least.

Zecora arrived late in the day, when the day was just bordering on night. Celestia decided—perhaps wisely, as things turned out—to wait until the next day to deliver any judgment. Her reasoning, which I thought made sense, was that Celestia would be at the height of her strength and that Luna would be at the lowest point. So instead, Zecora was briefed on the situation, told what to say, and then billeted in a room away from any of us, ostensibly to prepare her ointments.

Now, a few caveats for this next section: First, it's painful for me to write at all, for reasons you'll soon understand. Second, I'm writing this a bit after the fact and I'm not much of a lyrical person anyway, so all of Zecora's speech will be translated from bloody annoying poetry and rhyming to stuff that's easy to write. If you think that's laziness, well, fuck you, I'm the one writing this about my life, so bugger off. Third, this is awkward as shit, so I might gloss over what an outside observer might see as important. If so, whatever. This is, again, my journal.

That aside, let's continue.

The next day, I was telling another off color joke to the guards watching our rooms, much to the consternation of Fluttershy, when a messenger arrived. He politely waited for me to finish the joke, and then told me, "Princess Celestia is requesting you, human." The color immediately drained from my face, but I was hoping that the meeting between them and Zecora was done and Celestia was just going to say bye.

I fell into step behind the messenger when he told me, "She also gave me a message to give to you when we left the others: 'Zecora didn't listen to me.' I don't know what it means, but she made absolutely sure that I would remember to tell you."

Yeah, this is going to be bad. Real bad. I managed to stammer a reply to the messenger, but I don't even remember what I said. I thought back to the window, and wondered if he had orders to drag me there by the scruff of the neck if I bolted.

He must have read some of that on my face, because he said, "For some reason, the guards are watching many of the entrances now. Maybe it has something to do with that moth creature. I heard it attacked Princess Luna!"

I managed to say, "I guess I got lucky, then…" Well, there goes that option. I was considering trying to hide in the palace until the fervor fell away when we actually reached the meeting room.

See, this is one of those times I wish I was a smoker. I would have had more than one instant to take everything in, as I pulled one out and lit it. But whatever.

Anyway, at first glance, this is what I saw: Celestia was of course looking regal, but with hints of nervousness and anger. She kept darting dark, furtive glances at Zecora, then looking away. Zecora was looking just as regal, and completely composed. She is, if I have not said before, a zebra, and was a nice contrast between the light and the dark of the two royal sisters. She also presented a very nice balancing point in the room, and I almost felt myself drifting towards the safety I thought she represented in that room I was so hesitant to enter. Luna, though… I could look at her and tell she had been crying. But the look she gave me almost broke my damn heart. I'm callous, hateful even, and not one for poetry, but I think even I could have written volumes just from seeing that glance alone. And it hurt me so, because I had a feeling I was about to crush her heart.

"I was summoned?" I asked in a voice that sounded a hell of a lot more confident than I was feeling. I could see Celestia visibly slump, relaxed at how I was choosing to play this.

"Zecora," Celestia said, trying to hide any vestiges of hate in her utterance of the name, "has some questions for you."

"Shoot."

Remember, I'm translating this from poetry. Some of the 'effect' might be gone, but whatever. "Yes, I do. What is the penalty for attempted murder in your world, human?"

"Depends on the severity of the damage to the victim, and the involvement of the accused. Attempted murder alone will usually net you five years, and that's if you can prove the person involved meant for the other person to die. Criminal negligence, which is what it is called if the person almost died or did die as a result of something the accused accidentally did, carries less of a sentence. Two years, maybe. I don't know for sure; I didn't pay much attention to law. If the victim was actually injured, you can usually add on charges of assault and battery as well." In truth, I didn't know any of that. I was just making shit up to bide for time. I could see Luna visibly shrink when I mentioned the punishments. "Why? Did you catch that moth dude that tried to deep six me, and, as I've heard, attempted the life of the princess as well? I wouldn't mind settling accounts personally with that bugger." With that, Luna started crying again. I raised an eyebrow at Celestia, and she just grimaced.

"Something like that, you could say," Zecora told me. "How did you know the princess was injured?"

She's a fast one, she is. "The messenger told me he heard a rumor that she had been, and I assumed that if you were here you were probably here to help heal her; I've heard Twilight talk of your skills with dealing with odd maladies." She smiled at that, oddly. At that point, I knew she suspected that Celestia already told me everything, but she didn't have any proof. I figured we were probably playing high stakes here, so I turned on every mental shield I had and determined to let nothing through. I never was much of an actor, but by God I can muddle my way through this.

And then Zecora started dropping bombshells, watching for my reaction after each one. She started with Luna's actions during the competition, to which I was able to show a small amount of shock as I would have already known that due to her own accidental confession. She then hit me with Luna's attempt on Rainbow Dash, to which I faked a decent amount of horror and shock. And then she tried to obliterate me with the motive, love… I'd like to think my performance would have gotten me a Grammy, but honestly, I don't know. Celestia later told me she was terrified I would screw it up, but she slowly started feeling better through it. Luna wasn't really watching, anyway. She was too busy bawling. Zecora was, though, and I knew for her sake if for no other reason I had to fake it, so I did my best.

And when she finished, I sat at a loss for words. There were a few things I could have done, I knew. I am no Harrison Ford, but I can occasionally ad lib well. This was not one of those times.

I couldn't think of anything to say, but I knew what I had to do. And I knew it would take good timing. And I knew it would probably ruin my life in a few years, but hell, my life was pretty much already fucked from being here anyway.

Minutes passed. Luna tried to stop crying. Zecora and Celestia were both watching me, Zecora with a knowing smile and Celestia with a worried frown. I waited until Luna looked down.

And then I stood up, walked over to Luna, and hugged her. I may be damned to hell for it, but I couldn't hurt her. Celestia sighed, Luna cried, I was dying inside, and Zecora just… smiled.

After a small amount of words that I will not repeat here were traded, Zecora said, "Despite the motive in these crimes being love, they cannot go unpunished. As you testified yourself, Navarone, the punishment for these two offenses would be seven years. Can any of you think of any reason that should be lessened?"

"I could forgive her two of those years," I ventured, risking myself to attempt to improve my possible situation in the coming years. "The crime against me by her was just an accident, and I'm almost positive that even if she hadn't removed her spell on me, it would have been removed by someone else. After all, she only removed the one spell, while both that and the other were gone when I fell."

"Nay," Zecora said. "You shall not come to her rescue so easy. What you said is a possibility, while it is a known that Luna removed her spell on you. Your accident was in part caused by her, so far as we know. You said it yourself, in your definition of… criminal negligence, I believe it was?"

I tried, and the attempt was appreciated, if nothing else.

"Seven years it is, then," Zecora pronounced. "You are to be exiled here in Canterlot for seven years, Luna. And Navarone, you are not to visit her, for as I once found, time spent in love goes by unnoticed."

And so it was. I feared what the future would bring. With her pronouncement, Zecora left. Celestia rescued me from the embrace of my… beloved, promising that the sooner the punishment began, the sooner it would end. We left the hall with Luna's parting words ringing in our ears: "I will wait for you."

Well, shit.

Celestia and I went back to the same sitting room that we were in before. I'm beginning to think this is the only one in this damn palace.

"Look, Navarone…" she started.

"I can kill Zecora, if you want. All her wisdom and knowledge won't save her from a burning hut and a slit throat."

"No, we're not going to go around killing ponies that give pronouncements we don't like. And I know for sure you had more say there than you pretend you did. You could have told Zecora any amount of years, and she would have agreed to it. Luna wouldn't know and she couldn't blame you. You could have had her locked up until you died. And I know you know Zecora would have done whatever you told her."

I lost my shit. "I give people fair play! That's all I've ever done and that's all I've asked in return! In my own world that's all I wanted, that's all I asked for! And it never happened, not once! I helped people and got shit in return! I was fair and all it got me was mocked! When I was brought here, I thought this was a world where I could get my honest rewards, what I deserve, for once! Tell me, what have I done to earn eternal imprisonment, starting in seven years, attached to a woman I do not love? I have no qualms about admitting that I am, in fact, a bad person. However, am I truly so bad that something like this is my just desserts?"

She was silent at my tirade. I was… pissed, would be the best word.

Then… laughter. Small, quiet, but laughter. "You realize, Navarone, that you just asked me permission to murder somepony."

I couldn't help but smile at that, honestly. "Fine. Fair. I suppose the better question would be, what did Luna do to deserve this? She's asking for a lifetime attached to a monster, 'the most dangerous animal in existence.'"

"Sometimes the worst punishment you can give a pony is exactly what they want. Who knows? Maybe you'll grow into each other. You're both still young."

"She's several thousand years old. And she probably has several thousand years yet to go. I will die in about fifty to seventy, if I'm lucky."

"Not necessarily. There are… ways of extending life." Now that got my attention. "As with anything of its nature, though, it involves a sacrifice. One lifeline for another, basically. One thing loses time and the other gains it. I would not suggest it, but that it would make my sister sad to lose you. I would not want anypony to give their life for it, though."

Has she really never thought of this? "So we'll use a fucking tree. Hell, those live forever, and are easily replaced."

She slowly nodded. "Luna and I have thought about that in the past, actually. We never tested it, though. I had actually forgotten about the idea entirely. I wonder if we could do that for everypony…"

So as it turns out, I completely accidentally revolutionized life for the ponies. Or, rather, I added a very, very complex moral dilemma to their plates.

"Before you suddenly give everyone eternal life, you should honestly think about it. Without more space, you will eventually run into population problems. Possible food shortages, overcrowding, running out of trees, disease, and any manner of other problems can come up from making life last forever, or just longer. If you had unlimited space and possibilities for unlimited food, there would be no problem, but such is not the case. There is a problem, here: Do we allow everlasting life and limit breeding? Do we tell no one that it's possible and let life continue as it was? Or do we allow everlasting life and hope a solution will be present before a problem arises? And what will you tell everyone that lost a loved one just yesterday? 'Oh, I'm sorry, this literally just popped into existence yesterday, because no one ever thought about this sideways.' Hell, do we dare spit in the face of evolution? We can't let something like this be decided here and now."

"In all honesty, it is a bit of a moot point anyway. There are very, very few unicorns strong enough to cast a spell of the magnitude that it would require. We could get to a fraction of the population, but we couldn't get to everyone. I don't know if I want to give part of my ponies something that I can't give to everyone."

"There are a lot of moral debates here. As I said, we can decide nothing. And we're getting off track anyway. So, we could give me eternal life. The question is, do I want it? To see the eons pass, to see everyone I know wither and die, to watch civilizations grow and crumble, to watch trends disappear as fast as they appear, to one day lose myself to the passings of millennia and to have a massive memorial service for one of the deathless giants… It sounds wonderful, I can't lie, but tell me, personally, is it worth it?"

"For me, who had no choice in the matter, yes. I do watch my friends die, yes, and every time I look upon them it seems like they have changed, while I remain the same. But—and this is a very important but—I have the memories of all the happy times with them. I am old, Nav. Very, very old. I have seen all what you have said. I can't lie; I miss my lost friends. But I don't regret their passing and my living. For a long time after my sister betrayed me, I stayed completely aloof from everyone. I ruled in near silence, not trusting anyone near me. For almost a hundred and fifty years I was like that. I look back, and of all my life, that is one of my biggest regrets. For me, who was born into this life, it was worth it, yes. For you, who have seen less than twenty summers and are just that mature, it might not be. And when you are spending that life in the company with somepony you don't like, it would be unbearable."

"I don't dislike Luna. I just… don't love her. I have at least seven years to decide. I will… think on it. And I will mention it to no one." Of course, anyone reading my journal would find out about it. So it's a good thing no one is reading this. Right? RIGHT?

…Unless I'm still alive and am just lying about this conversation to find out who's reading my journals. You assholes.

I extracted from Celestia a promise to undermine her sister's love in me however she could, hoping it wouldn't backfire, and made my way back to my temporary quarters to tell Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash we could go home now.

"Why did Princess Celestia want you?" Rainbow Dash asked. "You two sure have been talking a lot."

"It's not every day you meet another member of a sentient race that confirmed the fact that you are not alone in the multiverse. But she just wanted to ask about a matter of legal precedent, and to bid me farewell. She would have seen us off in person, but with her sister as she is, she thought it best to be near her."

"Oh, I hope Princess Luna will get better," Fluttershy said. "Is there anything we can do for her before we leave?"

"Nay, lass. Zecora has done an admirable job in settling that issue. We are all to depart soon; you can talk to her then."

"She's not staying behind to make sure Luna gets better?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No, she's not," I said, letting the matter drop. They just looked at each other and shrugged.

Well, that was my first adventure in Canterlot.

Adventure? I can think of a better way of putting it: Clusterfuck of epic proportions.

The first thing I did when I got back was collecting a large amount of dead wood from the forest and starting a bonfire. I don't know why, I just wanted to burn something. The Cutie Mark Crusaders helped, but after a few looks at the expression on my face they didn't talk much. I heard one of them say something about a fire fighting cutie mark, but in truth I didn't care. I just wanted to watch something burn.

I found myself humming a song from a game I once played… I don't want to set the world on fire. Not the most fitting song, for at the moment I wanted to burn everything I could see, but I suppose it was somewhat fitting.

The wood was dry, and it caught easily. We packed it well, and it burned late into the night.

I won't lie, I am tempted to leave the rest of that night out. No real reason for it, but it just seems… like something I won't need to write down to have to remember.

All of the Twilight's cadre, including the lass herself, eventually joined us at the fire. Few of them had seen one so large.

Pinkie Pie found me when the fillies were looking for more wood. "Hey Navarone, what's the occasion?" Pinkie Pie asked me, her voice cutting through the solemnity of the moment I was feeling.

"Nothing in particular, my dear. I just… wanted to see something burn," I answered, smiling sadly.

"Are you sure? You didn't even bring any marshmallows! How can you have a bonfire without marshmallows?" she remonstrated me. "And you didn't invite anypony, either! What kind of party is this?"

"'Tis no party, lass. Feel free to invite anyone that wants to join me, though. And feel free to bring marshmallows if you want. I did not wish to spend the night with company, but alas, I find myself beset on one side by fillies and on the other by ponies." I waved my hand at the returning group, who were carrying as much wood as their poor bodies could.

"I'll go tell everyone!" she cried, with as much joy in her heart as I felt leave mine.

Rarity was, of course, the first to arrive. Just my luck. "Sweetie Belle, what are you doing here?"

"Navarone said I could help! I might get a forest cleaning or a fire fighting cutie mark!"

"He said that, did he?" she asked in a very flat voice that promised sharp words for me later. I just shrugged, not really caring. She just sighed. "Well, what's done is done. So, Navarone, what's the occasion? Pinkie Pie just told me there was a party happening here. No pony looks that happy…"

"Pinkie Pie, as ever, has the tendency to exaggerate. What I said is that I was burning for the sake of burning, and that she could invite anyone she wanted to. She's the party planner. Me? I just wanted to burn something. Feel free to stay; I find it's very therapeutic to just watch the flames."

She sat across the fire from me, I guess assuming that when the rest got there the actual party would start. Soon she was just as engrossed in the flames as the younger ones were, and as I was getting.

The next to arrive was Fluttershy. "Oh, hello Navarone! I didn't know Pinkie Pie got to you already. I was just walking back home when she ran into me and told me to come here."

"She didn't have to go far to find me," I said.

Scootaloo chimed in, "Yeah, Nav is the one who set the fire! Pinkie Pie came by and decided to make a party out of it." Much to my consternation was my unsaid contribution to that statement.

"Oh, I thought this was another of Pinkie Pie's plans to welcome us back. Still, it's nice to get together with friends… Oh, hi Rarity! I didn't see you over there!"

Rarity muttered something, a greeting perhaps, somewhat absorbed by the gentle flickering of the flames.

"Rarity?" I said a bit louder.

"What? Oh, hello Fluttershy! I was just… watching the fire. I have to give it to him, Navarone knows what he's talking about when it comes to that. It is… enchanting, in a way."

Fluttershy joined our impromptu circle around the fire.

We were all getting into it again when Applejack arrived in a mad dash. "I got here as soon as I could! Why are y'all just sitting around for? We gotta put this thing out!"

"Nope. I made this and I'll wait for it to die. But we're not killing it. It's harmless," I said.

"Pinkie Pie said there was a fire. I didn't know it was just a silly bonfire! That girl done scared me for nothing!"

"You know how she is. She didn't mean any harm by it, I'm sure," I said. "Feel free to join the circle." I waved my arm to show I didn't care where. That's when she noticed the others.

"Applebloom, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Navarone said I could help! We're trying to get firefighting cutie marks!"

"Uh huh. Well, just so long as you're careful." With that, Applejack went to sit next to her sister, and tried chatting with the others. I just went back to watching the fire licking at the wood.

Rainbow Dash was the next to show up. Her arrival was… less than spectacular, crashing in the growing darkness nearby. Applejack went to make sure she was okay, and they both came laughing. "Navarone," Rainbow Dash said, "your fire is screwing with the winds up there! I can hardly control myself!"

I answered, "Thermals are a bitch. Welcome to the… party, if you're listening to Pinkie Pie."

"And if you're not listening to Pinkie Pie?" Twilight asked, coming out of the darkness with Spike in tow.

"Then it's just a fire," I said, noting the marshmallow pack in Spike's hands. "You know," I said to him, "this fire might have been easier to set if you had been around." And it might have ended up with a log atop Celestia's head, I thought with a smile.

"Then you should have invited me sooner," he said, as he and Twilight joined the circle.

I just shrugged, and bent my gaze back into the flames.

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were handing out sticks for the marshmallows when Pinkie Pie came skipping back. I found myself softly singing, and forced myself to stop. At least one of the ponies noticed, but didn't say anything.

Everyone looked to Pinkie Pie to start the… festivities, I guess, but she surprised them all when she turned to me and said, "So, Navarone, what did you have planned?"

"It's your show now, girl. Don't try to pin this on me. I set the fire. You made a party out of it."

She gave me an exasperated look that said, You should know better by now. I would have brought up 'never have I ever,' but it wouldn't exactly be fair, as none of them but Spike had any fingers and we didn't have any alcohol.

Pinkie Pie tried for a little bit longer to get the group into something, but my mood seemed to have spread about. Aside from Pinkie Pies indignant mutterings, silence reigned.

I… can't put into words how it made me feel, seeing them all there. They came because Pinkie Pie invited them, and they stayed just for the pleasure of each other's company. And I was a part of them, now, even if I pretended to not to believe it. I had been on a roller coaster ride of forced snap decisions with life altering consequences, right after almost dying, but I was finally among true friends.

I was tempted to tell them the truth of what happened with Luna at that time, but I knew Celestia would be somewhat pissed if I let the truth out. Silence reigned, aside from the gentle popping of the fire, and one by one, the ponies fell asleep next to each other. Spike and the fillies were out first, of course. Pinkie Pie, despite her fervent aspirations to stay up and see 'what the big deal with the fire was,' was the next out. Fluttershy, still tired from the exhaustions of the trip, soon joined them in sleep. Rainbow Dash and Applejack didn't last much longer, both nodding off at almost the same time. Rarity, despite trying the hardest to stay awake, was the next to fall; she didn't want to 'ruin her hair' sleeping on the ground, but you can only fight for so long.

Soon enough, it was just me and Twilight left fighting back our demons.

"So, Navarone, what's the real reason behind this?" she whispered to me.

"It is… a balefire," I whispered to her.

"Who died?"

"Not who, but what. I love you all, but some things I must suffer alone."

I could tell she formed a thousand suspicions about that, but didn't voice any of them. "You know we're always here for you," is all she said, before drifting off to sleep with the rest of them.

I spent the rest of the night in silence, just staring into the fire and thinking.

I was stolen from my reverie sometime after the sun had risen by a loud shriek, followed by loud wailings about ruined hair and bugs and dirt and various other inanities. Rarity, it appeared, had awoken, bringing the rest of the ponies with her. The mood I had cultivated in the night was shattered in an instant, and the ponies were ripped from the world I had created for them and thrown suddenly back into their own.

The poor fire was down to smoldering embers. A small flame gently licked up a few of the longer lasting logs every now and then, but for the most part a dull red gleam was all that remained of the tempest of flame that had ruled the night before.

The little ones were dismayed at this, of course, having lost the chance to get a true firefighting cutie mark out of it. In truth, however, I never would have let them near the fire while it was still blazing.

Rarity didn't take long to calm down; apparently she was just surprised at her odd sleeping location, and woke up not realizing where she was.

Pinkie Pie was asking Fluttershy what she missed when she slept, and if any of us ever ended up having fun. Fluttershy, for her part, didn't know how to answer the fun part of the question, and I couldn't have helped her.

Applejack and Twilight were asking Rainbow Dash more about the trip to Canterlot, and were trying to get more details about why we were back so early and why Zecora was needed. Rainbow Dash was exaggerating the story with the moth monster that she didn't even see, making herself out to be the heroine that was saving me from the jaws—or, I guess, mandibles—of doom. The other two were looking at each other askance and trying not to laugh.

Spike and I just stared into the remnant of the blaze.

"Feel any better?" he asked me.

"Immeasurably so. This has been… an enlightening few days."

"Was your talk with Princess Celestia really that bad?"

"Not just that, no. I looked death in the eyes more times in the last few days than I have in any given year of my life. And I have learned some interesting things in that time, about myself and about others. And I finally know, for sure, that I am no longer alone."

"You never were," Twilight said, approaching us. Rainbow Dash's tale was over, and the ponies were breaking up and heading for their respective homes. "Let's put this fire out and go home."

The next month was spent fixing my sleep schedule. I was tired of letting the dreams screw with me, so I decided to just tell them to fuck off. I could deal with most of them anyway: tantalizing images of home, of family I left behind, of friends I'll never see again. I have a new home now, and new friends. We can only dwell on the past for so long.

And while I can't prove I didn't still wake up dreaming about a girl, you can shut the fuck up. I was basically promised now, and it wouldn't do for my… beloved… to find I was still harboring memories for another.

Yeah, that month was hell. I don't know if you've ever tried to force yourself onto a new sleep schedule, but it is not amusing. I don't remember much from it, but I'm pretty sure nothing that important happened.