Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: buried

"Oh, who's checkin' e-mails without her pants, who's checkin' e-mails without her pants!" Rainbow sang while bringing up another e-mail on her computer. Let's see who is sending her a suggestion today.

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Who would be a good colt-friend for Derpy? Time Turner perhaps?

Nobodiez

Rainbow pauses to think then types up her answer, "To be honest, I don't get into Derpy's love life. But Time Turner does sound like someone for her. Or was his name Doctor Whooves? Eh, whatever works; next e-mail!"

Subject: Ancient Ruins?
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Do you know whether or not there are ancient ruins buried somewhere within your own Cloudsdale?
Thanks,
Raul M. Pasquella

Rainbow reads 'Pasquella' as Pathquaya' before she answers while trying, "Well, Rauly Pasqually, I know definitely that there is a lot of stuff buried deep within my own Cloudsdale. Probably because I rent out the clouds to unsavory ponies who wants somewhere to stash, ditch, or make disappear the evidence of their choice." We see Rainbow Dash's business card promoting Cloudsdale as just thing.

Rainbow clears her screen as she continues, "Never thought that these might be an ancient ruins in the clouds though. Well, I believe this calls for Equestria's coolest foals' game show consolation prize: the metal detector!"

---

As music begins to play we see a blackboard which has the words 'BOOM! TRASH! PUZZLE' written on it. An announcer booms "That's right, our not so lucky contestants will receive the Shadowbolts brand Black Metal Dete-ctor!" We see the Shadowbolts' logo and the mentioned detector. "From Pony Electric Games Kids...Sx!"

We see a picture of a stallion named Scrawny McColt giving an 'OK' sign as we hear him say while his words appear, "Yeah, foal; Find some bits!"

---

The Mane Six (Twilight uses cloud magic so that she, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie can walks on clouds) stood in a large, shallow depression in the clouds with shovels. Pinkie is wearing a pith helmet while Rainbow held the Shadowbolts metal detector.

"So what are we doing again, Dashie?" Pinkie asks Rainbow curiously.

"I already told you girls! Whers there's ruins, there's riches! As well as booby traps that we can steal ideas from," Rainbow explains to her friends eagerly.

"Rainbow Dash, these are a bunch of clouds. I doubt there are any ancient ruins buried in here." Twilight remarks to Rainbow skeptically.

"Come on, Twilight, lighten up! We done saw weirder things." Applejack said to Twilight with a chuckle. "Who knows? We may be surprised."

"Ugh, fine. But don't be surprised if all we're doing is making holes for ponies to fall into Ponyville in."

"We're ready, Rainbow." Fluttershy said as she and Pinkie gave Rainbow a salute.

"All right, time for us to do thiiiiiiiiiis!" Rainbow exclaims on a high pitch. The mare turns the metal detector on, moving it around. Soon heavy metal beats are heard in changing frequency. "Cool, getting warmer!" After a trot forward, the metal detector made a guitar solo, "Yeah, got something!"

Rainbow steps back as Rarity uses her magic to sweep some clouds with a small brush, causing a small red object to appear. The white unicorn asks curiously, "My, my, what is this curious looking object?"

"Whoa! Awesome, it looks like the top of an enormous riches filled structure thing! Wait, there's an inscription!" Rainbow puts the metal detector down as she reads the object. "'Col...donesdry...' gotta be an ancient civilization name!"

"Gasp, of course! That was an ancient civilization here one time!" Pinkie exclaims in amazement.

"Uh, Rainbow Dash; I think that's just the cap of a bottle of an Apple Cider Dry one time." Twilight said skeptically as she points a hoof at the bottle cap in question. "You could probably just pick it up before that thing falls through all the way and hit somepony."

"What, you crazy? I ain't touching that thing!" Rainbow snaps to Twilight, making the egghead frowns at her. "It's booby-trapped! It could shoot a bunch of poison-tripped magic zebras at me!"

"Yeah, right. Or it's just a bottle cap and you're random as Pinkie Pie."

"What's wrong with being random?" Pinkie asks Twilight curiously as she manages a muffin tray on her mane.

"Come on, Twilight. Just let Rainbow have her own imagination." Applejack remarks to Twilight, wanting the mare to lighten up and not ruin Rainbow's imagination

"Yep. And Twilight, you may be half right." Rainbow said while picking up the metal detector. "Now help me find some riches!" The mare moves the metal detector around the clouds. Then it makes heavy metal beat in changing frequency. "Uh..."

The metal detector makes the guitar solo exclaims, making Fluttershy gasps, "Oh my!" Rainbow drops the said detector to the clouds. "What is this?"

"Check out this futuristic sheet of paper!"

We see Rainbow picking up a sheet of metal foil that has a picture of a smiling alien head with arms, legs and the caption 'FOALY ALIEN'. Rarity in amazement exclaims, "My goodness! This looks like something...unseen!"

"Holy Celestia, yes, I knew it! Cloudsdale was originally colonized by extra-pony aliens!" Rainbow exclaims eagerly. "Oh yeah, that is why I'm so awesome and brilliant! As well as all the beings look the same except for slight differences of our foreheads."

"No, Rainbow Dash, that's just piece of tin foil that has a picture that Scootaloo drew of you a few weeks ago but lost. Why, there's even a petrified flower in there that she left you." Twilight said with an annoyed sigh as Rainbow pulls the said flower out of a fold in the foil's edge.

"Awww, stop ruining my ruins, Jurassic Egghead; This clearly says 'Foaly Alien', which must be the name of my true mother who left me here as a young foal 100s of years ago until someone, I betcha an elderly cupcake enthusiast, somehow disturbed my cocoon!"

"Okay, 'dat is a bit disturbing." Applejack said to Rainbow uneasily while we see the scene described in a thought bubble by Scootaloo-style drawings. Even this mare's imagination is too much to take this time.

"Oh, daddy; why must you keep me stranded here," Rainbow sobs in despair.

"Oh, sorry, Rainbow Dash," Derpy exclaims while appearing from the side. "Was I supposed to come earlier?"

"What? Uh, no, no, I said 'daddy', not your name 'Derpy'; 'Daddy'."

"Daddy, Derpy, whatever; I can take what I can get."

"Huh?" The ponies ask a bit confused by what Derpy just said.

"Anyway, I'm here for my weekly...ahem...'delivery' that Time Turner wanted me to deliver for him." Derpy remarks while clearing her own throat.

Derpy motions to a bunch of barrels labeled 'inTOXICatingly good OOZE' near her, making Fluttershy gasps, "Oh my!"

"Oh right, just bury it wherever." Rainbow said to Derpy with a shrug. "But don't forget, if you find any ruins, hot stallion aliens or riches, those are mine, got it?"

"Uh, what about fellas named Rich as in anypony related to Filthy Rich?" Derpy ask Rainbow cluelessly.

"Huh, what," Twilight ask Derpy in bewilderment. "Mr. Rich doesn't have any other relatives besides his daughter and wife! As far as I know that are still alive."

"Oh, okay! Then he can stay where he is!"

"Ugh, any chance that I can unhear the last few sentences?" Rarity asks, a bit uneasy by the conversion that Rainbow and Derpy just spoke of. "Or years of my life?"

---

Back at her computer, Rainbow types in while saying, "Anyway, no, Rascual Perez, there isn't any ancient ruins within Cloudsdale...or not one foot under the surface anyway. I mean, digging is so hard! Ever you have tried to dig a hole? It isn't all wipes and montages like in the movies, it takes forever! But who knows what cool wonders lie one and a half feet within Cloudsdale? Or, pause for special effect, a few feet within it! Why, it staggers my cool imagination!"

We see an illustration of what might be a few feet within Rainbow moving onscreen. After a while, the new paper appears, bringing this chapter/e-mail to a close.

We can hear the Mayor speaking, "Oooh, that thing looks delicious! I would take two slices of that, a piece of the igneous pie and a molten core tart!"

A mare remarks, "Wow; that looks sinful."

"Shut up, filly!"

---

We see a promo for Apple Cider Dry as a bottle cap for one move across a purple background. An announcer booms, "Apple Cider Dry, the official beverage of the Shadowbolts!"

Now we see a picture of Scrawny McColt with a word balloons, words appear in it as he speaks, "Yah, ponies, Ypple Cider Vry!"

"Right, Scrawn, try to speak Equestrian!"

The End

Author's note
Who knows what secrets lies within Cloudsdale? No one knows...for now. In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow reveals her shape shifting powers but shows why it isn't attractive as it sounds. Read, review and suggest.