Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: death metal

"E-mail, ah ooh oooh, ooh, ah ah, oooh, e-mail!" Rainbow exclaims as she brings up the first e-mail of the chapter, see what fan of hers want to ask her a question.

Rainbow

Its been a while so anyway i'm going to be getting back into the social life once more (It has been a long while for me anyway though beeing cooped up can make you go insane) but overall things have been interesting . So what would you do if you were found by someone? like in the story My Little Dashie or the version that i did My Little Rainbow Dash and Twilight besides i have yet to do its sequel . also you should get Pinkie to have here mane flat and Twilights all poofiee like Pinkies now that would be awesome . Anyway though one other question . Would you answer your Emails on the go or answer them from the comfort of your own home?

Adam

"Ah, Adam," Rainbow said as she begins typing, "Nice to hear from you again. Hope you don't go too crazy, that's Pinkie's job. Now then...to be honest...that has...happened...the former, not the..." The mare sniffles a bit while wiping some tears away. "Now then, as far as my pals' manes go, I doubt they would do that for any pony, let alone switching. And of course, my computer I can bring wherever I go whenever I wish to answer e-mails elsewhere; next e-mail!"

Subject: death metal
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I am in this death metal band at my school, and in need of some of your awesome expert lyrical advice: what words sounds really aweesome/cool when you scream them at the top of your lungs?
Laine
Coltvallis, OR

Rainbow said, 'Ding dong, string rainbow, bing dash' instead of the greeting. The mare then types in while saying, "Whoa, awesome! Usually most school got a marching band or one of those jazz ensembles things. But a death metal one? Extracurriculariffic, dude!"

Rainbow clears the screen as she continues, "All right, let's see, first off you got to be butt ugly, Laine, or maybe fate since the gift of death metal doesn't smile on the good looking. If any doubt, do yourself a favor and glue some cereal on your face; that oughta work, right? Now then, while I may be no geographist, even this Pegasus pony knows that your state isn't anywhere near Stalliondinavia, the only place in Equestria where death metal will get ya any cool stallions or fillies whatsoever."

Rainbow clears the screen as she continues, "Also when it comes to lyrics, you got it all wrong! Screaming words at the top of your lungs is for ponies with blonde air. Words like 'tonight', or 'mare' or the name of any cool street in L.A." The mare types in 'run 'webcam'', "Check this out."

Rainbow clears the screen as a window with Lefty Ponyrocini shows up under the screen names 'filliesluvlefty25' singing the following, "tonight! Mare; we'll be drivin' down Sstallionveda with the t-top down?"

"Right, thanks Lefty." Rainbow said sarcastically to Lefty. As the stallion talks next, words continue appear below his image.

"Yo, no problem, Rainbow Dash; Hey, I'm going t obe online later on playing an MMORPG if you like to join my guild!"

"Right, whatever."

"Wait, hang on!"

Too late as Rainbow click off the window, closing it as the test 'you kicked filliesluvlefty25 offline'. The mare types in as she continues, "Now then, as for death metal, you gotta to scream from the bowels of your lungs, those pony bowels! Words like..." Rainbow spoke in a deep sinsterl voice as the words that she spoke appear in green, creepy letters. "'decay', 'deranged', 'decrepit', and...err...'delouse'. Hay, no way in Tartarus would any of those words that begin with d-e can go wrong. Of course, except for maybe..."

---

In issue 8 of 'Teen Colt Squad' that shows a singer, bassist and a drummer of a band called Brainy Pony performing on stage.

Singer: Dentist!

Back-Up: Jugga jigga wugga!

Singer: Deli-style!

Back-Up: Jugga jigga wugga!

---

"That was Brainy Pony, those ponies got last place." Rainbow said in a Teen Colt voice. She clears her throat and spoke in her normal, "All righty, time to recap: ugly, Nordic, bowels, d-e worlds. Now then, all you got to do is..."

---

We see Tough Apple at his house as Rainbow continues, "...hunch all up on yourself..." The stallion got onto his knees. "...pretending you're holding a powerful orb in each hoof..." Tough held out his hooves, a circular outline appears in each, "...and let whatever power you got flow in ya!"

The scene darkens as the outlines disappear. As a drum beat begins, Tough bounces up and down while yelling out, "DeVito; DENIRO; DELUISE!"

---

Rainbow types in the drum noises on her computer while yelling out, "Broodle-broodle-broodle blap-biddle-baddle! Broodle-broodle-broodle blap-biddle-blap! Awesome, this mare needs a quadruple bass pedal! All right, we will now see how it comes together on the Equestrian Half-Hour Death Metal Fortress Hour!"

---

At a TV in Rainbow's home, we see the words 'Equestrian half-Hour Death Metal Fortress Hour' on the screen. The mare is sitting on the couch as the band Shadowbolts (not the Nightmare Moon ones, the band one) is seen along with their logo.

"Ya! We are the Shadowbolts!" The Shadowbolts exclaims together as their logo disappears from sight.

"You all saw the videos from Vinger-all, Slaughter and the Fillie Vincent Invasion." Dave Colttenston said to the audience.

"All right, now here's a sneak peek at our new video." Schenkel McColt said, lifting a tone as if a question is asked.

The TV now shows the video. It starts up with a screw in some rusty metal. We now see another scene with rusty metal then saw a piece of cupcake slitering across rusty metal.

Shadowbolts: You will submit to the decoupage!

Four screws appear, one of them moves around fast.

The death nail! [deathknell]
(Death nail!)

We see the cupcake getting stabbed by a nail before getting bound with metal wire, then blows up; Creepy stuff.

Down with the decoupage!

The cupcake slithers over the rusty metal, this time in the opposite direction. Once it's done, Rainbow smiles while saying, "Creeping...rusty...cupcake. That is totally the heart and soul of all death metal. Hmmm, actually, now that I think of it, I feel like brushing my teeth. Looking at that rust and sweet can do that to a pony. While I'm gone, complete this worksheet that I've gotten prepared ofr you aspiring lovers of death metal types! And Laine, try to be careful with the hot-glue gun, okay?"

Rainbow leaves as a worksheet floats to the front of the screen which shows a bunch of works, including the paper's customary 'Click here to email Rainbow Dash' thing.

Pinkie came, having a box of cereal onto her face with the stuff glued to the latter, calling out, "Hello? Anypony here; I'm here for the...err...jazz ensemble, I think."

Awesome Pony Krunch

Free Full-size
alto saxophone
inside!

---

The band Brainy Pony continues playing in the auditorium from the same issue mentioned earlier.

Singer: Deli-style!

Back-Up: Jugga jigga wugga!

Singer: De La Soul!

Back-Up: Jugga jigga wugga!

What's His Flank is in the crowd before turning to see, to his surprise, Football Jock wearing a shirt hat says 'de' nearby. The former exclaims, "Football Jock! You came to see Brainy Pony too?"

"I only came for the wugga, but is staying for the jiggy juggas." The Football Jock explains to his colleague with a shrug.

Jugga jigga wugga!

The End

Author's note
Oh yeah! Death metal is sooooo awesome, even in the land of ponies. In the next chapter/e-mail, a fan asked Rainbow if she has any secret identifies, making her discuss several options. Read, review and suggest.

'My Little Dashie' does happen in my MLP series, and yes, I got permission.