Author's note
To nobodiez, I don't know when I will do that suggestion. I'm guessing when I worked on 'My Little Transformer' but that may be a long time from now. You will have to wait.

Rainbow Dash's E-Mails: space program

"Email is the sound that we make when a young filly cries..." Rainbow sang while bringing up the first e-mail of the chapter.

Rainbow Have you played a game called Banned From Equestria (Daily)? its intersting though bout a human bucking several ponies (even Trixie) check it out when you have a chance in your free time

Adam

Rainbow blinks then types in, saying, "Uh, not really; Maybe because it was banned from Equestria. Ha! Seriously though, I don't play those kinda games. Not my style; Next e-mail!"

Subject: space program
Dear Rainbowdash,
Does Cloudsdale have a space program?
Doo doo horsecrap,
Mr. Cord
Reindeerigh, NC

Rainbow said 'Da-da-da-da' before the 'Dear' 'Good jokes' instead of 'Doo doo crap', 'Ryan Reindeerleigh' as one name and 'NC' as 'Not Cool'. The mare types in as she asks, "Come on, who doesn't have a space programs in Equestria? I mean, don't those monkeys have a space program? Well, ours is called 'CASAF' or 'The Cloudsdale Administration of Some Aluminum Foil'."

Rainbow clears the screen as she continues, "Of course, the only problem is..." We fade to white as the mare continues in voiceover, "We blew our whole budget in making this kick flank logo."

Sure enough we see the CASAF logo appearing, a rocket path is tracing the S and ends up in position behind the first A. Rainbow's voice continues, "...as well as our orientation filmstrip thing'."

---

We now see a filmstrip frame of the CASAF logo that has the words '2012 Cloudsdale Administration of Some Aluminum Foil' at the bottom. The frame is out of cous but becomes focused partway throughout the voiceover.

"CASAF is an awesome for profit organization that is dedicated to the manned taped of aluminum foil to cardboard!" The voiceover exclaims.

We hear a beep sound as another frame shows up. It's a stylized drawing of alien mountains in outer space that has a moon and a comet in the guy. A ten and five bits signs are visible along with a large arrow pointing beyond the mountains. The ten bits has the text 'TEN O' BITS' along the top, Equestria in the president's place and a circled 'RD' for the seal. The five bit one is mostly obscured but got a sun and planet seen in it.

"The goal of our mission: to accompany 15 Equestrian bits on a round trip journey." The voiceover said. We hear a beep before another frame shows a spaceship drawing going past a planet. "...the closet reaches of outside space!"

After another beep, we see a frame of two astronauts, one of them is lying on a bench with weights and the other yelling "Gimme one more!"

"And while the muscular crew will age only a few hours, the cargo, according to our..." The voiceover explains. We hear a voice as a portrait of Albert Coltstein that said 'hi' is seen. "...vague understanding in some theory or another, will aged to an incredible..."

We hear another frame as another frame appears, that shows 3 large gold bars in space that has the caption 'THREE O' BITS'. The slide is above center then is adjusted as the voiceover continues, "...one million bits. So who is good enough at video games..." We see another frame that has a a photo of TV with a joystick in front of it. The screen shows a 2-D fighting game with the words 'FIGHT!' on it. The fighters are a daisy and a ghost, the latter has 1/3 health. "...to accept a dangerous, risky yet awesome mission? Why, it's none other than that awesome bouilion-aire joyfilly..."

After another beep, we see a frame of Rainbow Dash wearing a headband with small wings on it, along with pants made out of foil. The voiceover continues, "Space Captainflank! First Lieuteneral Captainflank knows that the true key for success is..." We see another frame of a stallion grinning at the camera in front of a polka dot background. "...is to have a lot of many hot '60s looking stallions in your filmstrips as possible."

Another frame shows two more stallions against a blue background with a wavy stripe. The voiceover exclaims, "Yeah, colts, right on!" Another beep is heard as we see a frame of Scootaloo wearing a blue cap and sunglasses along with the caption 'Herold 'Strap' Fillymore. "Hey look! It's the onboard mechanic Herold 'Strap Fillymore! This little foal definitely could use a grilled cheese sandwich."

In another frame, it shows a photo of a grilled cheese sandwich along with the caption 'Item 3b: Grilled Cheese'. Different music plays for a while before a record scratching noise is heard.

As the previous music continues, another frame shows two stallions with weird manes and headsets in front of a computer terminal. They are wearing glasses and dress shirts with one wearing a pocket protector and several pens; Real eggheads.

"Flat tops and shirt sleeves are really the order of the day here at CASAF mission control. Say, Flight Engineer Ted Ponyrill, something isn't right. You aren't smoking a cool relaxing cigarette at all!" The voice exclaims. We hear another beep as another frame shows the same scene, but the stallion on the left is now smoking. "Better. Also, somepony get that colt one highball; Ha ha ha ha!"

After another frame, we see a frame that shows a row of spaceships. The voiceover now said, "The flagship of CASAF's 30 vessel fleet is the Proud Mareselmo." We see a frame of Rainbow in the same outfit on top of a spaceship that is labeled 'PROUD MARESELMO'. A beam of golden light is spotlighting Rainbow herself. "Yes, a wonder of modern CASAF-ery, the Proud Mareselmon was made out of the best of cardboardium alloy. And when the time of blastoff comes..."

We see another frame of the '60s stallions in silhouette covered by a large question mark with the voiceover asking, "...will you hot '60s looking stallions be there to with Strap and Space Captainflank one safe voyage? And if not..." We hear another beep. Now a frame shows a sad tearful dog with the caption 'How Come?'. "...how come?"

---

In Cloudsdale, we see Rainbow in her Space Captainflank costume in a cardboard box operating a video game control, both are trembling violently. Very obvious that this space program isn't real...but what do we know, right?

"Must...escape...Equestria's...tenacity...Strap, fire up the afterburners," Rainbow calls out to Scootaloo.

We see the filly in a taller cardboard box that is duct-taped to Scootaloo's which has a CD player inside and various objects duct-taped to the box's side. Of course, the shaking is Applejack's hoof doing all the shaking to the boxes.

"Doing...so...now," Scootaloo groans as she press play on the CD player that plays a sci-fi flyby sound effect.

The box lifts into the air temporarily being landing onto the ground. Rainbow sighs while saying, "Cool, we made it..." The boxes of course continues their shaking, "Hey, Applejack. We made it."

The boxes stop shaking while Applejack said, "Oops, sorry." The Pegasus pony roll her eyes as she took one a Speak and Spell toy for foals.

"All right, my ca-cuh-lations told me that our precious cargo should have already multiplied to 50 bits by now."

As Applejack walks away from behind the fence and sat down, Scootaloo hold up a CD that is labeled 'SOUND F/X (not sounds from certain movie)', explaining uneasily, "Uh, Captain Spaceflank; We don't have the cargo anymore, remember?"

"Oh right, right. We spend all that precious cargo on that sound effect CD." Rainbow said sheepishly. "At least let's hear 'Body falling downstairs' for the hay of it."

"Sure, no problem!"

Scootaloo press the button on the CD player as we hear the sound effect of a body falling downstairs. Rainbow smiles as she moves her head with each thump. Despite the loss of cargo, the whole 'trip' isn't a total loss, right?

Just then Pinkie came up with a sweater stuck over her head, calling out, "Hey Dashie, Scoots! I need help to put this sweater on!"

"Holy horsecrap! It's a space myoot-ant ting from Stallion 5!" Rainbow gasps upon seeing Pinkie. "Quick, we gotta hit him with what we got, Strap!" Scootaloo didn't waste any time as she quickly press various button to make random laser sounds and explosions. After a while, she throws the CD case right at Pinkie.

"Ooh, owie! I knew that I should've asked the monkey space program!" Pinkie whines as she gallops off.

"Oh yeah, Strap, nice work; another successful mission for..." As music starts, Rainbow begins to sing, "Space Captainflank!" We see some board with the words 'SPACE CAPTAINFLANK' being lowered on a fishing hook above her, "Pretender of the galaxies! She's all-the-ways having space cocktails with hot '60s-looking stallions!"

We see Scootaloo holding the fishing rod that is holding the logo. Rainbow, although the first few words sound spoken, continues singing on an octave higher, "Where are all the hot '60s-looking stallions?"

Once the music stops, the Mayor comes in, saying, "I'm in my 60s! Do I count?" Needless to say, the two ponies look disgusted by what she just said.

The paper comes down as the chapter/e-mail comes to an end. We see the back cover of the CD...

SOUND F/X is not a joke!
featuring such awesome favorite hits as...
- foal in a wagon
- drippy towel
- single bird tweet
- the hush of winter
- baseball in repose
- body falling downstairs
- sonar ping
- creating rusting
- sonar pong
- rub sequence 000003 or 2

The side of the case is labeled 'Sound F/X (not sounds from certain movie)'.

---

On Rainbow's computer, Rainbow is typing in a log that said, "Captainflank Log: The vinegar-baking soda drive on the Proud Marselmo has run out of fuel so we are stranded in the Impelfiily Sector. There is sharp tuff all over. It makes one wonder, does pony truly..."

A beeping sound cuts Rainbow off as we see a slide of 'Item 3b: Grilled Cheese' coming into frame from teh bottom and stays a few seconds while being accompanied by its music from the filmstrip.

---

We see two slides of the slideshows that shows Caramel's arm entering frame from the bottom, saying, "I was told that I gotta pee in one of those cups."

We pull back that shows Caramel watching Rainbow next a projection screen, the mare said, "Trust me, in due time, Cadet; on due time."

"Doo time, really! Even better!"

Rainbow of course looks shocked (and disgusted) by what Caramel just said.

The End

Author's note
That's the space program, folks. Well, not really but still. In the next chapter/e-mail, Rainbow tries to make a portrait of herself. Read, review and suggest