A more appropriate name is how Caboose can fuck up a first contact. Enjoy!

Chapter 3: First Contact

UNSC Infinity bridge

August 5th 2728

"….. My name is princess Celestia and I am from the planet Equestria. We are a land of peace and Harmony. We would like to make new friends…"

"Sound's like a trap." Tom inferred.

"I don't think so." Hicks said. "Well even if it was it would take a large fleet to down this ship. I mean we have 3 different shields! It would take 200 plasma torpedoes to breach even the first shield!"

"I find it weird that it is in English." Logan said.

"How's the long range scans?" Morgan asked Logan.

"A small pre-industrial civilization populated by….."

"By what?"

"Scans register equines or horses or ponies."

"Horses or ponies?"

"That's what the scans say; no humanoid life or bipedal species detected. Brain scans indicate at least average human intelligence. They seem to be 3 different variances of the equine population: Some appear to have wings, others seem to emit energy, others are normal."

"Interesting, plot a course."

"Have you thought of cultural contamination?"

"Indeed but they appear to…."

"Wait! Sensors show a UNSC destroyer on the moon of Equestria."

"What's its tag?" Hicks asked.

"20-20-20; the Dashing Loyalty."

"Didn't that ship disappear a few months ago?" Fernando said.

"We'll deal with it later." Hicks said. "I am very curios about these 'Equestrians'."

The UNSC Infinity pulled into a geo-synchronies orbit above what appeared to be the capital city. It was a castle surrounded by a city of wooden cottages.

"Other than this settlement I'm detecting other cities. I do not detect anymore radio-waves other than the Princess's signal. I detect a continent that is run by Zebras. This seems to be at least industrial."

"Zebras?"

"That's what the scans say."

"Prepare a proper response to this 'Princess' and tell her that we would be honored to meet her and her race." Hicks said.

Sierra's Dorm UNSC Infinity

Sierra was mildly hung over from last night's launch party. He downed some anti-toxin for some good measure and his alcohol induced headache was gone.

"Sierra to the briefing room." Hicks said over the intercom.

Sierra donned his security outfit and made his way down the hall to the turbo-lift. The turbo lift went to one level below the bridge: the briefing room.

The door opened and standing there was his team, Hicks, and his team and a couple members of blue team.

"What's up; you look a little hung over." Church asked.

"I WANT TO MEET THE PONIES!" Caboose yelled.

"Ponies?"

"Long story." Hicks explained. "I'll explain it on the way down to the surface."

"Ok."

"OK I've chosen you people to make a good first impression on this civilization. WellChurch cuz I owed him a favor and Caboose wouldn't stop bugging me cuz 'he wanted to meet the ponies'."

"Well ok then let's get off this high-tec hunk of metal and onto that alien planet."

They walked to the hanger of the Infinity. In there was 5 pelicans, 50 hornets, 5 hawks, 4 mark 3 UNSC seraph fighters, 20 banshees, and one mark 3 UNSC Vulture.

"We'll be taking the pelican." Hicks said.

Sierra marveled at all the vehicles here.

"Hey, this is just the light hanger; the heavy hanger has 20 long and shortsword fighters."

This made Sierra's jaw drop.

"OK let's get in."

They climbed into the pelican. The hanger decompressed and the pelican exited the Infinity.

(Star trek enterprise theme (Faith of the heart))

The pelican zoomed into the upper atmosphere. The vessel could be seen by the ponies of Canterlot 2 minutes after that.

(Song end)

Canterlot Archives (Royal palace)

"Girls," Celestia started. "There is another alien ship in orbit."

"WHAT!" Rainbow Dash said.

"This one is a great deal bigger and they say they want to meet us."

"GREAT!" Pinkie Pie said. "I've never had alien friends before!"

Celestia's horn glowed and it replayed the alien's message.

"We would be honored to meet you." Said a female voice. "This is the UNSC Infinity: A starship capable of travelling long distances. We are in orbit around your planet and we will send down some people to meet you. Ambassadors if you will. They will touch down in the middle of your capital city. This is Captain Morgan Mason telling you that we're not hostile."

"The aliens are…are coming here!" Twilight started freaking out.

"Yes but they say they are here under peaceful intentions."

Suddenly they all heard what it sounded during a wonderbolts show but it wasn't a wonderbolts air-show.

"I want you six to be our ambassadors for Equestria."

"YEAH!" Pinkie Pie said.

"I shall do it." Rarity said.

"If they try anything…." Dash started.

"I hope they are friendly." Fluttershy said shyly.

"If they attack anyone then I'll buck em right outta Equestria!" Applejack threatened.

"It shall be my honor." Twilight said with great responsibility.

Canterlot courtyard (Equi-1 err Equestria)

The rear doors opened and the first thing Hicks saw was 6 colored ponies. One with a Rainbow mane and a coat that was the color of Tucker and she had wings, One with A pink mane and a pink coat, One with a light pink mane and a yellowish coat also had wings, one with a blond mane and an orange coat, one with a dark purple mane and a white coat and a freaking horn, and one with a light purple coat with a multi-shades of purple mane. AND SHE HAD A HORN!

'What the hell is this?' Church thought.

"PONIES!" Caboose yelled as he jumped out of the back of the pelican and started to hug the alien ponies.

"CABOOSE!" Hicks yelled. "Get back here!"

"Ponies! PONIES! PONIES! PONIES!" Caboose yelled.

"Well isn't this a first contact for the books." Church said.

"Ok I'm ok now." Caboose said.

"Caboose," Church said. "YOU ARE NEVER OK!"

"Ok."

"Well anyway I'm Admiral Derek Hicks of the United Nations Space Command or UNSC for short.

"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle; the faithful student of Princess Celestia."

"Nice to meet you."

Logan then bumbled out of the pelican with a scanner.

"Logan! What are you doing here?"

"I was scanning and found out that there is a Rainbow SN radiation source on the planet!"

"Great, now get back in the pelican!"

"Well howdy do! My name is Applejack." She started to shake Hicks' hand really fast. "I run sweet apple acres."

"My name is…." The yellow one started to say.

"What's your name?" Hicks asked.

She said it so low it was unintelligible.

"Well nice to meet you anyway."

"My name is Rainbow Dash! I'm the fastest flyer in all of Equestria!"

"Oh yeah. Prove it."

She then started flying.

"HOLY SHIT!" Logan said. "She's at Mach 1, 2, 3, 4, 5."

Suddenly the entire light spectrum was breached and a large sonic boom happened and a circular rainbow pattern appeared where Dash went from mach 5 to mach 10.

All of the human's jaws dropped.

"Rainbow SN radiation detected! She emits the stuff!"

"Well Logan that's cool but put yer little scanner away and be a good ambassador."

Dash slowed down and landed back in the courtyard.

"Damn!" Sierra commented.

"Pretty rainbows." Caboose said.

"You got mad skills!" Fernando commented.

"Eh, seen better." Anthony said

Hicks elbowed Anthony.

"Ow!"

"Yep," Dash said. "Thank you. That trick there is the sonic rainboom; I'm the only one who can do that."

"Well I'm Pinkie Pie!"

"Cool."

"I have a sister named Pinkamena; she killed Dash in another fanfic once!" Pinkie just dun broke the fourth wall.

"What?" Hicks said.

"It was called Cupcakes! It was interesting."

"Yeah that story gave me nightmares!" Hicks said.

"It twus fucked up!" Sierra said.

Suddenly a copy of the real Derek Hicks came falling out of the sky.

"PINKIE THIS IS MY STORY! NOBODY CAN BREAK THE FOURTH WALL IN MY STORY GOT IT?"

Pinkie nodded.

"Ok, later!"

The copy of the real Derek Hicks went back up into the clouds.

Then suddenly everything was back to normal and no one remembered Pinkie breaking the fourth wall or Derek Hicks falling out of the sky.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rarity."

"Nice to meet ya." Sierra shook her hoof.

"I can tell that this is gonna be a good relationship between our 2 species." Hicks said.

Pinkie dun broke the fourth wall! Well this is the end of this chapter. Adios!