So far my story turning out OK. Still have writer's block for Dang O' Ponies.

i continued to look around in this god-forsaken world.

Eventually i walked into a park with horses everywhere.

i need to ask someone where i am.

i noticed these six horses havin' a picnic. Hilarious.

i looked closely. There was a purple unicorn, a pink horse, an orange horse wit a cowboy hat, a white unicorn, an those two winged horses i saw a while ago.

i shrugged. Might as well ask them.

As soon as i walked up to them, they stopped eating and looked at me. Their eyes look like they're from a girls' tv show.

i rolled my eyes, "Excuse me ladies. You know where the hell i am?"

The purple horse looked confused.

"What's hell?"

I grunted. "Ya don't know wat hell is? What kind of a world are we livin' in?"

The purple horse looked more confused.

"Umm...You are in the world of Equestria"

i got angry. "The hell kinda name is that? Jesus Christ, am i in a womans' show"

The orange horse tilted her head.

"Who in tarnation is Jebus Chist?"

i shook my head. "Forget it OK?"

The pink horse jumped to me.

"Oh! Oh! I should throw a welcome party! Just for him! What should I make the party theme?" She said in an impossible speed.

i looked at the white unicorn. "She on PCP or somathing?"

The white unicorn giggled. "No. She's just always like that"

i rolled my eyes. The blue horse flew to me.

"I like this guy." She said. "He gets too angry."

i rolled my eyes and glared at the yellow horse, who was silent the whole time.

The purple horse walked up to me. "And you are?" she asked.

i thought for a moment. Should i tell tem my real name? Ah screw it.

i looked at the purple horse. "Cotton Hill"

The purple unicorn smiled. "I'm Twilight Sparkle."

The hell kind of name is that? Named after that vampire crap?

The blue horse smiled. "Name's Rainbow Dash!"

Makes sense.

The pink horse giggled. "PINKIE PIE!"

Bitch is crazy.

The white horse bowed. "My name is Rarity."

That names more stupider than Twilight's name.

The orange horse tipped her hat to me. "Howdy! Name's Applejack."

Named after a drink. Heh.

The yellow horse grinned weakly. "Fluttershy"

Makes sense.

Twilight walked up to me. "Can I talk to you later? I still have some questions to talk."

i shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

Twilight smiled. "Great! Where do you live?"

Can't let her know i'm from another world. "Uhh...i just moved here."

Applejack got curious. "From where?"

Ah crap.

Rainbow Dash flew next to me. "Manehatten, Canterlot...?"

Screw it. "Umm. Manehatten"

Rarity frowned. "So you don't have a home"

i shook my head.

Twilight smiled. "If you want...I have an extra room in my home"

Pinkie Pie nodded rapidly. "I also have an extra room!"

Rarity smiled. "I have an attic I'm not using. You can live in it"

Applejack nodded. "I don't have any extra rooms but you can live in mah barn"

Fluttershy smiled weakly. "My cottage has an extra room."

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Sorry but my home is up in the sky. Only pegasus ponies can live there. You're an Earth pony. Sorry."

i'm an earth pony? What the hell? Ah forget it.

So. Where should i live?

Twilight sounds like a nerd. Pinkie's crazy. Rarity's too gentlemen-like or something like that. Rainbow Dash makes a point. Fluttershy's too shy. But Applejack...

i smiled at Applejack. "Alright. i'll live with you. Thank you"

My eyes widen. Did i just thank a WOMAN?

Applejack smiled brightly. "Ah shucks. No problem."

Twilight smiled. "Want to join our picnic"

i shrugged. "Why not?"

i sat next to Applejack. What the...my shins! They're back! It is weren't for this girly crap, i would thank you God.

i dug into the picnic basket and took out a sandwich...

...a hay and flower sandwich...Really?

i gulped and took a bite. huh. Doesn't taste like crap.

i relaxed and began eating wit these horses, or ponies, whatever.

---

After the picnic

Nighttime

i began walking with Applejack to her home.

When we reached it, Applejack smiled proudly.

"Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!"

i whistled at the sight of the orchard. "Wow! i never knew you were a farmer. i thought you were a cowgirl or something."

She chuckled at my last statement and said. "Come on! I'll introduce you to mah family"

She walked to a farmhouse and called out her family. 3 ponies came out.

Applejack pointed to the red big-ass horse. "This here's Big Macintosh, mah big brother!"

Big Macintosh nodded. "Eeyup."

Oh God. You put me in a world wit a Hank Hill. Just great. Meh. Maybe he ain't a jackass like my son.

Applejack pointed to the small pony. "This here's Apple Bloom, mah lil' sister!"

Apple Bloom smiled. "Howdy!"

Cute, i thought. Wait, did i just call a girl CUTE? Oh Lord why?

Applejack pointed to the light green pony about mah age. "And this here's Granny Smith!"

Granny Smith nodded. "Mighty nice to see you"

Finally, a horse about mah age.

i smiled nervously. i'm surrounded by women. And Hank Hill the Big Red Dog.

i cleared my throat. "um. Can you show me my room, um, i mean the barn, or somthing"

Applejack nodded. "Sure thing!"

She led me to the barn, which looked like crap.

"Barn looks like a dump"

Applejack smiled weakly. "Yeah, sorry about that."

i shrugged. "That's fine. One time i spent 2 weeks under a pile of dead bodies on Iwo Jima. You wouldn't imagine the smell..."

Applejack gulped. "W-What's Iwo Jima?"

Damnit Cotton. "Umm...Just kidding. i made the whole thing up...heh..." i smiled like an idiot.

Applejack grinned nervously. "Um...OK...Good night!"

She walked back to her home. i looked at my bed...a pile of hay. Eh. Whatever.

i laid on the yellow crap. Huh. Felt comfortable.

Eventually i fell asleep. Man what a day...

---

Applejack walked to her home. She was still wondering what Iwo Jima is.

She looked nervous. Even though Cotton said he was joking, she knew he was lying.

She shook her head. She was tired. She'll think about it another time.

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