Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Chapter Sixty-Five

On one of the higher decks of the Bazaar was a magnificent disco, a structure shaped like a squeezed letter H: two curved buildings bridged by a windowed walkway connecting their nearest points. On the outside, the sleek stone and tinted glass was the same unnatural black as the shadowravens, but within, bursts of color faded and zig-zagged around the spacious rooms to each individual note, beat, and shift in the music.

Octavia, in her best formal dress, walked along the elevated path. She had been invited to a small and exclusive event, held in a box overlooking the main dance floor, but had found herself stifled by the relentless dance beat. The windowed walkways offered a view of the Bazaar's cityscape as well as refuge from the music and lights, both of which were slightly muted. Octavia leaned against the glass walls and looked out at the erratic city beneath her.

"Ah, 'ere you are," said DJ P0n-3, coming up behind her in a black, v-necked mini-dress and, surprisingly, without her customary shades. "Wasn' sure you'd show up."

"I'm still not sure I should have," Octavia admitted. "This isn't my native habitat, I admit. But I'm glad you're here, at any rate."

The DJ winked. "Always 'ere for you, mate. I like your dress."

"Mm, I like yours too. Where's the rest of it?"

"Ah, classic," DJ said, chuckling. "Wiv tha' ou' of the way, I've been talkin' to my producer, 'e got me an orchestra for whenever our single is ready to record. Tha's if it's ever ready. I keep finding new fings I can change every day…"

Octavia blinked. "Seriously? You got an orchestra? So did I."

"…Oh. Oh, really?"

Octavia chuckled. "So we have two orchestras. Nothing wrong with that."

"Do we need two orchestras?" DJ P0n-3 wondered.

"I can see how we can make it work," Octavia said thoughtfully. "It's just… do you remember when The Adventurers first came out? The movie? And all the critics said it was the greatest superhero movie of all time?"

"Sure," DJ P0n-3 said, nodding.

"Well, when I read those reviews, I couldn't help thinking, 'well, yeah'," Octavia went on. "Can you imagine if it hadn't been the greatest superhero movie of all time? With all the anticipation and five whole movies leading up to it, anything less and it would have been an extreme disappointment. That's what our single has to be. It can't just be the greatest single that you've put out, or me. It has to be the greatest single any two artists have ever made… or it'll just be a failure."

"And two orchestras is the way to do tha'?" the DJ asked skeptically.

"It can't hurt our chances. It'll sound excellent."

DJ P0n-3 smirked at Octavia. "Classical music and comic book movies—you, madam, are dead sexy."

Octavia snorted. "Oh, I don't know about that."

"Well, you're an 'ell of a lot sexier than me."

"Isn't that the basis of our entire relationship?" Octavia said, grinning. "That I'm the pretty one? I have been meaning to tell you that showering would be a lot more effective if you ever bothered to use shampoo."

"Ha!" the DJ barked. She looked around. "Aw, nopony 'eard tha' one? Shame. Guess we'll 'ave to put it on the show."

"Can you find a more natural lead-up to placing it into a conversation?" Octavia asked. "I feel like I forced it."

"You got it, mate."

"Heyyy, there are the two artists we wanted to see!"

Octavia and DJ P0n-3 turned their heads to see four ponies, their formal attire clashing with their wild appearances, marching toward them with gleeful smiles.

"Oh, hello Przewalski!" Octavia said brightly.

The approaching band members were all earth ponies, each seemingly more distinctive and striking than the last. The singer, Ryu, was no more than a colt, with a bright red coat and choppy black mane that covered one of his yellow eyes. He wore deep purple-black "guyliner" that made his expression seem perpetually angry.

The guitarist, Nyu, was a pale gray mare with a pale blond mane that was very long and curly. Her black eyeliner emphasized her striking neon-orange eyes and remarkably prominent eyelashes. Kyu, the bass player, was a black stallion covered in charcoal-colored flecks, with a permanent smirk and prominent eyebrows, gray eyes, and a yellow-green mane in a feathery, volumized style leading into a mullet.

The drummer, Magnolia, trailed behind the rest of them. She was a white mare and was enormous, both in her height and her unhealthy girth. Her dirty-blond mane was braided down one side, and her sleepy brown eyes and deep frown gave her an overall disdainful expression.

"So nice to see you ladies!" Kyu said enthusiastically. "We've been looking all over for you."

"You've been looking for us?" said Octavia. "We're flattered. What for?"

"We wanted to thank you," Nyu said sweetly. "Our album just went platinum."

"P-platinum?" Octavia said, stunned. "Well, congratulations! That's a remarkable feat for your first album, and so soon after its release. I've never had a platinum record. Vinyl, have you?"

"Mate, my album never even went aluminum," the DJ muttered.

"Well, it's all thanks to you ladies!" Nyu said, beaming.

"Us?" P0n-3 said, her eyes widening.

"Aye," Ryu said in a rough accent. "Affta whey appaeyred an yere shoh, sehls a tha recoerd spoiked oop lek mahd."

Octavia and DJ P0n-3 stared blankly at the small red colt, blinking several times as the seconds dragged on. "Wh… what?" Octavia said uncertainly.

"Yah gehv oos e behg boomp, tallkin' oos oop lek yah dehd," Ryu added. "Yah cain't boy proomoshan lek thot."

The duo's expressions didn't change. DJ P0n-3 turned her eyes to Ryu's bandmates. "Wha' the… buck is 'e saying?"

"We don't know," Kyu admitted. "We put out an ad for a singer, and somepony delivered him to our studio doors in a shipping crate." Nyu giggled.

"Agnoor thehm," Ryu said. "Meh a sey, buffore wey mett, a hohpd yah wer aech ez byoetifil ez yah soondid en tha reydyo." He held Octavia's hoof in his own. "End yah arr. Lohvliest cople uv maers av evvor saen."

DJ P0n-3's eye twitched. "Er… any chance you can run tha' by us again in your singin' voice?"

"Vinyl," Octavia hissed.

"Wha'?" she hissed back. "I can understand 'im when 'e sings!"

"The point is," Nyu interrupted, amused, "you played our song on your show every day, you brought us in for an interview, and we're ever so grateful you gave us that exposure without us even asking."

"We owe our success to you!" Kyu declared. "Ergo, we wanted you two to be the first to get a copy of Przewalski's new stand-alone single."

Magnolia wordlessly held up a record. The album cover depicted the four band member's heads in profile and was entitled Przewalski: Friends As One For All Time. DJ P0n-3 took the album in her magic and examined it closely.

"This is for us?" she said. "Aw, tha's nice o' you…"

"Yeah, it's kind of an anthem to the magic of friendship," Nyu said breathlessly.

Octavia froze. "Erm… is it?"

"Oh, yes," Kyu said. "We were largely inspired by Iron Will's latest seminar. It really shows in the lyrics, I think."

"…Does it?" Octavia squeaked.

"Yep!" Nyu said. "And it really brought out some epic rocking in us. It's almost nine minutes long."

DJ P0n-3's jaw dropped.

"I know, right?" Nyu giggled. "Well, we just wanted to thank you and get you a copy before it hits the shelves tonight at midnight!"

"Tonight," DJ P0n-3 said blankly.

"G'boi, meh lohvlies," Ryu said, bowing down. "A hoop yah injoi oor worrrk ez moch ez a lek yere ohn myozik. Mebbe whey kin gitt tagetha leytor end… dascoss oor raspectev caraers, hah?"

Ryu, Nyu, and Kyu turned and walked away. Magnolia lingered for a moment, shot Octavia and the DJ a small smile, and followed her bandmates.

Octavia stared out the window, seeming almost catatonic, while DJ P0n-3 continued staring at the album cover.

"Are they gone?" Octavia whispered.

"Yes," DJ P0n-3 peeped.

"Okay, good." Less than a second later, Octavia dropped to the ground with an anguished scream of "NOOOOOOO!"

"I KNOW!" DJ P0n-3 snarled, ripping the record out of its sleeve and smashing it against her own face, shattering it to pieces.

"They stole our song," Octavia said, choked up and weeping. "They stole everything. Every last detail! I mean, I know it was totally by accident… BUT STILL! And it's already recorded, it's hitting the stores in a matter of hours. Our song, it's… it's never going to be special now. They're the Adventurers now! We're the damned-to-hell Justice League of Equestria!"

"No… no we're not!" DJ P0n-3 snapped, pacing the floor. "We can pull frough this. You and me, we're gonna make a whole bloody album togever, tha's wha' we're gonna do! And it'll 'ave crossfades and secret tracks and an 'ole bunch o' songs where we jus' jam for epic periods o' time! Tha's what's gonna go down—RIGH'! NOW!"

Octavia sighed. "Where could we possibly find enough inspiration for an entire album? It took weeks for our one song to come together. I hate to say this, but maybe we're not meant to collaborate, Vinyl."

"Pardon me."

Both of them jumped in surprise and whirled to find Princess Luna standing behind them.

"Princess," Octavia said, getting to her hooves hastily. "I'm sorry… we didn't hear you coming…"

"I teleported in," Luna said casually. "I've gotten rather good at doing it quietly… my apologies."

"Oh, that's quite all right," Octavia said nervously. "What brought you to a place like this, Princess?"

"Thou didst, fair Octavia," Luna replied. "I enjoy thy music. And I've often admired thy elegance and grace. So many ponies I meet in this era are lacking in such."

"Why, thank you," Octavia said in surprise. "…You tracked me down just to say that?"

"Nay, there's a bit more," said Luna. "It recently came to my attention that thou art Pinkie Pie's little sister. I confess it piqued my interest."

Octavia chuckled. "You know, sometimes I look up at the wall where I hang my five gold records, and I realize that no matter how many more of those I make, my tombstone is still going to say 'Pinkie Pie's little sister'."

Luna blinked. "Is… is that good?"

"Oh, I would say so," Octavia said. "My sister is the subject of my greatest adoration."

"I fort you only 'ad four records," DJ P0n-3 muttered.

"Four studio albums and two live," Octavia said promptly. "My latest hasn't gone gold just yet."

"Ooh, 'yet'," P0n-3 mocked. "Don' fink much o' yourself, do ya?"

Octavia laughed. "Hey, I mentioned it on your show. It can't be long now."

Luna smiled. "Thou art DJ P0n-3, if memory serves," she said. "Well met by moonlight, home-slice."

The DJ giggled. "You can call me Vinyl, your majesty."

"Perhaps I shall at that, if thou wilt call me Luna."

"You've got yourself a deal," she said eagerly.

"I am glad," Luna said, beaming. "But I simply must ask: what must it have been like, growing up with Pinkie Pie as an elder sister?"

"Well, she's a marvelous sister," Octavia said. "But she was never all that good at being my elder, if you see what I'm saying."

"Yes, I believe I do," Luna said, chuckling. "Still… as sisters go, she must have been an indefatigable source of fun."

"Indeed," Octavia said. "But surely somepony as important as you didn't seek me out just to ask me about my sister?"

Luna inhaled deeply. "No… no, thou art correct. In truth, I was looking for the pair of thee. I might have a… task."

"A task?" Octavia said nervously. "For us?"

"You 'ave but to name it, Princess," DJ P0n-3 said immediately, kneeling.

"I… I'm not quite sure…" Octavia stammered.

"Like you 'ave anyfing better to do?" DJ P0n-3 hissed. "I for one want to 'elp the princess."

"Erm… well, of course I do as well," Octavia said hastily. "What shall we do, Princess Luna?"

"Thou, too, mayst call me Luna," the princess said softly. "I wonder where to begin… music, as they say, is the voice of the soul. It can ensnare the mind and bewitch the emotions, yes? True feeling is expressed through music, through means that transcend any barriers of communication and yet, are far beyond earthly comprehension. And… it's excellent for dancing."

Octavia's eyes glistened. "Oh, yes," she said. "Everypony likes music… but few can explain why so easily. I had no idea music touched you so deeply, sweet princess."

"Say, Luna…" P0n-3 muttered. "Migh' this 'ave somefing to do wiv Snowdrop?"

"Yes," said Luna, barely audible. "Long ago, Snowdrop played a melody for me… a thousand years have passed, and I cannot remember a single note of it, but like everything else she ever did, it plucked at the strings of my heart in a multitude of ways."

"Is that a fact?" Octavia muttered. "I don't know if we can recreate that melody for you, my friend."

"Oh… nay, that wasn't my intent," Luna said hastily. "It only occurred to me that the emotions stirred by music… they never change as centuries go by. The subtle enchantments and evocations of music were the same then as they are now. Much as the story of Snowdrop, though it occurred and was told long ago, might be equally weighty today—indeed, must be. And I, myself, feel as though I am in equal parts a pony who belongs 'then' as well as I fully belong 'now'. I feel I still live in both times. Dost thou follow my train of thought?"

Octavia and DJ P0n-3 shook their heads in unison, though both looked captivated.

"Erm…" Luna struggled. "Well, Snowdrop—that is to say, the movie—must come from the past, but must be seen through the eyes of the present. I look to thee, Miss Octavia, and thee, Vinyl… thou hast musical sensibilities that seem diametrically opposed, and yet thou appearest to be the best of friends. Therein, I think, lies the key."

"Oh my," Octavia muttered. "Princess, if you're going where I think you're going with this…"

"I believe I am," Luna said. "I want thee in charge of all music for the picture. I would not pressure thee into all original works… I had an idea, either songs from long ago performed in a modern style… or perhaps contemporary songs performed classically."

DJ P0n-3 held her hooves to her heart. "Princess, you came to the righ' ponies," she said. "Wha' would you say to a bit of each o' those options?"

"Yes…" Octavia said slowly. "A true blend of the old and the new…" She gazed up at the princess. "Oh, Princess Luna, this is the greatest honor we could have ever imagined… Vinyl and I have been searching for just such a thing to bring our talents and passions together."

"Yes, we 'ave," DJ P0n-3 breathed. "Your timing couldn've been more perfec'."

"That… is the most delightful news I've heard for quite some time," Luna gushed, squeaking with girlish excitement. "Most beautiful of artists, thou wilt then help me?"

"We will," Octavia said decisively. "When do we begin?"

"Soon, I think," Luna said. "Thou shalt be entirely in charge—original songs, selection of additional music and artists, score, themes—all of it, I place in thy hooves. Wilt thou accept the burden?"

"We will!" DJ P0n-3 declared, grinning hugely. "We won' disappoin', Luna! After all, I don' know if ya knew this, but we 'ave two orchestras."

"We will need to know what it is we're scoring, however," Octavia said. "We'll have to get a grip on the emotion the story brings to us if we can write and select music for it. Can we see footage, or a script, or something?"

Luna frowned. "How does one normally add music to a film? Before sequences have been filmed, or after? I know not. But, it cannot hurt us to get a head start. Therefore…"

She presented them with an impossibly thick bundle of papers. "This is the screenplay. I have let no other soul see this. Share it with no one."

"We won't," Octavia promised, taking it from her. She looked around. "Well, we certainly can't write music when there's music playing, now can we? Come on, Vinyl, let's find a quiet place to read this over and see what notes we jot down."

"Yes, let's," DJ P0n-3 agreed. "Thank you so much for this opportunity, Princess. We'll make ya proud!"

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

A few minutes later, Octavia and DJ P0n-3 trotted purposefully down the Bazaar's streets.

"It's a miracle, Vinyl," Octavia said breathlessly.

"Sometimes, a good fing jus' drops righ' into your lap," the DJ said. "Oh!"

Both of them stopped in their tracks, not even breathing, and glanced up into the air. Princess Luna swooped overhead, creating a trail of darkness that emphasized the swirling night sky and made the stars shine brighter. In seconds, she was out of sight.

"You know, I've often thought that the way ponies treat her is an outright crime," Octavia whispered. "She gets a bad rap, but she's… well, look at her. She's like an angel of darkness."

"She's our angel, tha's for sure," DJ P0n-3 said reverently.

They looked at each other, and their wistful expressions slowly started shifting, in unison, to huge smiles.

"YES! YES! YES!" Octavia cheered.

"We 'ave our album!"

They rose to their hind legs and pounded their hooves together.

"Snowdrop: Music from the Motion Picture," Octavia recited. "Oh, I get tears in my eyes just imagining the adventure this'll be!"

"That beau'iful angel from the moon jus' dropped ou' of the sky and gave it to us," DJ P0n-3 said dreamily. "She's my new favorite princess. Now that I've met 'er, I'll do anyfing for 'er… she's so sweet. I never would've guessed…"

"Our music, to breathe life and emotion into her beautiful story," Octavia murmured. "We're gonna blow Przewalski and their cute little platinum record CLEAR OUTTA THE WATER!" She smiled viciously.

"Whoa, whoa, back off there," DJ P0n-3 laughed. "It's not abou' beating Przewalski. It's abou' our art."

"Yes, yes, of course," Octavia said hastily. "In fact, it's not even about our art. It's about Princess Luna's art."

"YES!" DJ P0n-3 agreed with heightened enthusiasm. "And we owe it to her art to make our art the best it can be! We can' let 'er down!"

"That's right," Octavia said. "You know, this is what I wanted from collaborating with you. Listen to us, bouncing off each other, perfectly in sync. It's like we're the same pony!"

"It's like we're sisters," DJ P0n-3 agreed affectionately.

"A beautiful journey for us, for the princess, and for Equestria," Octavia breathed. "Handily defeating Przewalski is just one bonus among—oh, HI THERE! Hi again!"

The four members of Przewalski were passing by on a street just ahead of them. Octavia and DJ P0n-3 waved to them and grinned broadly.

"Hey… hi…" DJ P0n-3 said in a high-pitched voice. Przewalski gave them a few uncertain glances, but continued on their way. "Yeah, there you go," DJ P0n-3 added under her breath through gritted teeth. "This time nex' year, the world will 'ave forgotten abou' you, and our soundtrack album will be a timeless classic tha'll las' froughout the ages…"

"But it's not about beating them," Octavia said in a sing-song voice.

"Not a' all," the DJ agreed.

"Let's make music for Princess Luna's masterpiece, sister," Octavia said, nuzzling DJ P0n-3 with her face. "Music that will live forever."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Endnotes

A mystery for the ages: why do all singers sing in an American accent? Sure, there might be the occasional pronunciation quirk that clues us in to their being Irish or Swedish or Japanese, but for the most part, nearly everyone who sings in English sounds American. And then you hear them in interviews, and chances are, not only do they possess the accent of their native country, but the thickest accent possible. Ryu is a tribute to this oddity. What is his accent supposed to be, you ask? I would say he has a regional accent from the British Isles. Which regional accent, you ask? ALL OF THEM.

I've often wondered whether there was a line in the story that could qualify as memorable enough to be the entire story's catchphrase. Perhaps it was Twilight's moment of realization in chapter 23: "I am a gigantic dork." Probably not, but that has since become my catchphrase whenever I catch myself in a nerdy little tangent. Or maybe it was chapter 31's awesome conclusion: "I'm Rainbow Dash, bitch." I really ought to have her say things like that more often.

Either way, no. These lines pale in comparison to the most awesome line ever: "Well met by moonlight, home-slice." I've written dozens of stories and I hope to write dozens more, but none of those could ever be as awesome as the simple statement of "Well met by moonlight, home-slice." I wrote that. Now I can die. I won't, but I could. At some point in the future, I'll start modifying my profile and whatnot to reflect that as my new, totally epic catchphrase. And it won't just spread all over my life, no, it won't stop there. You'll start seeing it EVERYWHERE! AH-HAHAHAHAHA… I am a gigantic dork.