Romance and the Fate of Equestria

So, in the first line of this chapter I throw out an unusual characterization trait for DJ P0n-3… I've looked back on her first cameo and realized, nope, it's not at all contradictory with that. Really great idea; I'm glad it's taken me so long to get back on here, because I've had a lot of good ideas I wouldn't have had otherwise.

Chapter Six

DJ P0n-3 waited for her cue, for the now-familiar song to end. "And we're back!" she said in her lilting, exaggerated Cockney accent. "That, in case you haven't been anywhere near a radio in the past month, was a piece called 'By the Blades of Her Eyes', the surprise hit that's determined to beat down the city of Canterlot and take it by siege. And speaking of Canterlot, my guest this morning is a member of the Canterlot Royal Orchestra, but also a fine solo artist on her own—please welcome, Ponyville native and my close personal friend, Octavia. Hello, Octavia."

"Hello, Vinyl," the elegant and aloof mare said, nodding and straightening her bow tie. "Good to be back at my first home."

"Eh, yeah," the DJ said, peering over her shades at Octavia, "don't call me Vinyl, mate. The name's DJ P0n-3."

Octavia blinked. "I'm not calling you that. I'm classy."

"Oh, is that so?" the DJ said with a smirk. "Pretentious, are we? Well, here's a pretentious piece of trivia for our listeners: you, Octavia, are just shy of releasing your… I believe, fourth studio album?"

"That's correct."

"Fascinating," the DJ said dismissively. "And how does it differ from your first three albums? Not at all? Okay, on to today's musical selection…"

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Octavia said, leaning in closer to the microphone. "Don't dismiss me like that, Ponzi, you wanted to talk, let's talk."

"That's P0n-3, and fine. Tell us about your material, or whatever. If you must."

Octavia chuckled. "Well, it's mostly classical pieces, performed by myself. There's also the occasional delightful collaboration, which I think fans will enjoy, with some very multitalented artists I was privileged to work with…"

Above the recording booth, Twilight and Pinkie watched the session from an observation deck on the second floor.

"Um, Pinkie?" Twilight said. "This is fascinating and everything, but tell me again why we're here?"

"Shh-shh-shh," Pinkie hissed gleefully. "They're sure to let it slip eventually. Just wait for it!"

"For how much longer?" Twilight asked. "I have a date."

"Oh, you do?" Pinkie said gleefully. "Cool! Okay, don't worry, this shouldn't take long…"

"Octavia, how do you respond to ponies who say there's no more market for classical music?"

"Well, that's just silly," Octavia said simply. "Classical music, by definition, can never die. The melodies and instrumentation of classical songs are what fuel every piece of music that exists today, from the birth of the blues and rock n' roll, all the way to modern alt-rock like the band you just played, Przewalski, it all owes itself to the appeal inherent in classical music."

DJ P0n-3 looked around nervously. "Erm… you can't say the 'P-R-Z' word on the radio, Inkie Pie."

Octavia paused for a moment. "Oh. Um… really?"

"Yeah, according to my censors, it's an archaic sort of curse, but it's still a curse."

"Oh," Octavia said again. "Bold of them to use it as a band name."

"Wasn't it, though?"

Twilight turned to Pinkie, surprised. "Inkie Pie? Your sister is Octavia?"

Pinkie grinned broadly and bounced up and down. "You betcha!"

"That's amazing!" Twilight laughed. "I can't believe I didn't know that. She's good… I mean, really good! You have so many records, Pinkie, why haven't I ever heard you play hers?"

Pinkie shrugged, embarrassed. "Slow songs. Not my kind of party. But don't tell Inkie that! I'm the supportive one in the family! The one who appreciates her!"

"Gotcha," Twilight said, nodding.

"You're killing me, Octavia," DJ P0n-3 was saying in exasperation. "Could you stop swearing?"

"We're, um, tape-delayed, right?" Octavia asked, beginning to look somewhat nervous.

"No, we are live."

"Damn!"

"Octavia!" DJ P0n-3 gasped. "You're gonna get my show cancelled, miss 'fancy-talk'. This is outrageous. A regular Ponyville scandal!"

"Well, erm, maybe everypony will be occupied by the scandal that we've said each other's names?" Octavia suggested with a toothy grin.

"It's our only hope," the DJ said earnestly. "You heard it here first, my little ponies. DJ P0n-3 and Octavia are, in fact, Vinyl Scratch and Inkie Pie. Isn't that crazy?"

"It's crazy," Octavia said, straining to sound cheerful.

Both of them chuckled awkwardly, trying to fill the silence.

"Anyway…" DJ P0n-3 muttered, "erm, let's go back to today's musical selection. The next number is my own production, sampled from an original piece by Octavia here,totally without her permission. If she doesn't sue me to death right now, you might see this next song on my second album. Listeners, tune in this time tomorrow to hear mine and Octavia's conversation continue. Octavia, good to have you here."

"Nice to see you again, Vinyl," Octavia said cordially. "I'll be back tomorrow."

The music was fired up; Octavia and DJ P0n-3 hugged before Octavia left the recording booth and proceeded through the hallway.

"INKIE PIE!" Pinkie shrieked, hurtling toward her sister at an impossible speed and knocking her to the ground.

"Hello, Pinkamena," Octavia laughed, getting to her hooves. "It's been a while."

"Oh, too long, sis, too long!" Pinkie said, dancing on the spot. "You know what this calls for?"

"A party?" Octavia suggested dryly.

"A PA—ooooh! Our reputations precede us! Here, Inkie, you talk to Twilight while I get the party ready!" She zipped out the door of Ponyville's radio station.

"Aah, it really has been too long," Octavia said fondly. "Hello, Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight straightened in surprise. "Um, hi! I didn't… do you know me?"

Octavia shrugged. "We've crossed paths. You used to live at the castle, yes? And I play the castle regularly. I don't think we've ever been formally introduced, though. It's nice to finally meet you."

"You too," Twilight said. "I, um… wow, you're so elegant and professional, I'm, uh… anyway! I have all three of your studio albums! But, you know, who the hay doesn't…"

"Oh, you're too kind," Octavia said. "Do be honest, Twilight: nopony ever became famous playing the cello."

"Well, if anypony did, you're that pony," Twilight pointed out. "Oh my goodness, are you walking with me? That's so amazing—ooh, you know, I have so many questions about what Pinkie Pie was like when you were young…"

"Oh?" Octavia said, smirking. "If you know her well, I imagine you have more questions about what she's like now…"

"No, I pretty much run with her," Twilight said. "But where to begin…? Well, for starters, what exactly is the purpose of a rock farm?"

"A what now?" Octavia said, confused.

"A rock farm. Pinkie says you grew up on a rock farm."

Octavia laughed and rolled her eyes. "Pinkie's prone to exaggeration, as I'm sure I don't need to tell you. It was a sweet potato farm. We grew sweet potatoes."

"Ah," Twilight said, embarrassed. "That makes a lot more sense."

"Pinkie was miserable on that farm," Octavia said introspectively. "You wouldn't believe how quickly she fled to Ponyville proper, as soon as she was able. I wasn't so fond of the place either—it was all the way to Canterlot for me, as you know. Blinkie Pie is still on the farm… I think she'll be taking it over from Mom and Dad."

"Mm-hmm," Twilight said thoughtfully. "So, put that together, and I guess that makes Blinkie Pie… the crazy one."

Octavia snorted and broke out laughing. "Oh, that's good! Very clever, Twilight Sparkle. That's funny. So, I hear you're a magical researcher. The magic of friendship, if I'm not mistaken. What are you working on now?"

Twilight cleared her throat and lifted her head proudly, always grateful for a chance to discuss her research. "Well, I'm taking a small deviation from my friendship studies to examine the effects of romantic love."

"Oh? That's interesting. And how's that progressing?"

"It was going poorly at first," Twilight admitted. "But I do have a date for lunch today, so that's progress! I think it'll look up."

"Well, best of luck to you," Octavia said, pushing out the studio doors and into the streets of Ponyville. "Ah, I know I left, but I do love Ponyville. A far cry from the hustle and bustle that is Canterlot… a chance to relax, to lay low for a while."

"HEY, EVERYPONY!" came Pinkie's voice from somewhere. "MY ULTRA-FAMOUS SISTER OCTAVIA IS HERE! AUTOGRAPHS ALL AROUND!"

"Oh, Przewalski," Octavia cursed.