Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Is it the 25th already? Well, in that case, Supa Supa Bad Truly Mad Moves just turned 21. And my biggest accomplishment in life is hitting 100,000 words on a My Little Pony fic that doesn't even have any artwork. Some life. Blerg.

Chapter Fifty-Five

Rainbow pranced along the rooftops of the Bazaar, trying to get a good view of the whole city at once. From one small business to another, the buildings tended to have very different shapes, and she amused herself by finding creative ways to jump from one to another and keep her balance without the use of her wings.

"Heyyyyy, Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow looked down. In a nearly empty cul-de-sac of small food stands, Derpy sat at an umbrella table along with a blue unicorn stallion. Rainbow flew over to join them.

"Hey, Derpy," she said. "Nice to see you up here. How are you?"

Derpy beamed. "Oh, I'm wonderful…"

Rainbow turned to look at the stallion. He had a white mane and a safety pin cutie mark. His horn was unusually sharp, and his eyebrows, ears, and nose were veritably covered with piercings, from simple studs to enormous metal hoops to oddly-shaped dangling jewels.

He smiled at Rainbow Dash; his eyes appeared to be perpetually closed. "Yo," he said, raising a hoof in greeting. "My name is Pierce?" He had a mild regional accent that Rainbow couldn't place, and raised his voice oddly at the end of the statement so it sounded like a question.

"That was going to be my first guess," Rainbow said, looking him over. "You must be Derpy's fiancé."

"He sure is," Derpy said, leaning on him. "Isn't he handsome? I can't wait for the wedding. You're coming, right Rainbow?"

"Of course, Derpy," Rainbow said. "I wouldn't miss it."

"So, uh…" Pierce said. "Do you two, like, know each other from… work?"

"Oh, we work together occasionally," Rainbow said. "I supervise all the pegasi in Ponyville when we're doing weather, so I have a few run-ins with Derpy there."

"Gnarly," Pierce said. "But that's only, like, sometimes, right? It's just what Derpy does when she's not… uh…" He gestured for Rainbow to finish that sentence.

"You have no idea what Derpy does for a living, do you?" Rainbow accused, smirking.

"Uh…" Pierce said, turning to Derpy nervously.

"I'll put you out of your misery," Rainbow said. "She's the mail carrier."

"Oh… oh, right," Pierce said, nodding. "I knew that…"

"But she's also the best damn weather backup I've ever had," Rainbow said proudly, putting a hoof atop Derpy's.

"Really?" Derpy said, her eyes widening in admiration. "I thought you didn't like my weather work."

"Don't be silly, you're great."

"But…" Derpy said. "But don't I ruin things all the time?"

"Ruin…?" Rainbow said in alarm. "No, no."

"But you used to say that everything I try to do goes wrong—"

"I've said no such thing. Shut up. You're awesome."

Rainbow glared pointedly, and Derpy blushed. "Thanks, Rainbow."

"So, what are you two eating, anyway?" Rainbow said, looking at their plates. "What's this, scones? Just regular scones?"

"Yeah, there's this totally epic food stand? That sells Equestrian food?" Pierce said, indicating it with his head.

"Equestrian food—we're in Equestria!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"But it's authentic?" Pierce insisted.

"Noooo, authentic Equestrian food is what you get from Equestria."

"Well, uh, I dunno," Pierce said, shrugging. "It's, like, the only place that's not crowded here."

"That's because everypony who wants authentic Equestrian food is getting off the Bazaar to get it," Rainbow grumbled.

Pierce shrugged again. "Well, I knew Derpy gets totally stoked about scones, so—"

"It's muffins!" Rainbow said incredulously. "Derpy likes muffins!"

"Rainbow, it's okay," Derpy said softly.

"No, it's not okay," Rainbow hissed, leaning toward her. "This guy doesn't even know you!"

"Okay, yeah," Derpy admitted, wrapping herself around Pierce. "Sure, we only met two months ago. He doesn't know yet what I do and what I like. But we're young, we're in love, we're neither of us all that bright, it just makes sense to get married."

"Aw, you're bright, Derpy," Pierce said sweetly, resting his head on her. "You are a most non-non-brilliant shining star."

The two of them sat nose-to-nose for a while, him with his permanent squint and her with her unfocused eyes.

Derpy giggled. "I can never tell if you're looking me in the eye or not."

"Yeah, me neither," Pierce admitted, laughing.

Rainbow sighed. "So what do you do, Pierce?"

"I work at Ponyville's punk-rock store?" he said.

"We have a punk-rock store?" Rainbow said blankly. "What do you sell at a punk-rock store?"

"I dunno, punk stuff?" Pierce said, shrugging. "I've totally been working there for, like, three years? And I'm already making minimum wage. I get discounts? On all the punk stuff? And ever since I stopped being able to pay the rent my mom was charging me, they let me live in the store, which is a hella sick place to be, seriously."

"Sweet Celestia," Rainbow muttered in disgust.

"I'm putting everything I got into the wedding?" Pierce went on. "So after that, I'm totally gonna, like, move in with Derpy? She's gonna, like, support me, whatever."

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow said. "Well, I think Derpy deserves better."

"Wha?"

"…Than scones," Rainbow finished smoothly. "Why don't we go out for some other food?"

"Sounds good," Derpy said, standing up and fluttering away from the table. "It's okay, honey, we should follow Rainbow Dash. I bet she knows where she's goin'. Don't you, Rainbow Dash?" she gushed.

"Eh, usually," Rainbow agreed.

The three of them proceeded down the street. Pierce sniffed the air. "Whoooa, somethin' smells great." He licked his lips; he had spiked braces on his teeth, and there was a bolt through his tongue. He turned to Rainbow, presumably staring at her despite his eyes seemingly being shut tight. "Is that you? It is you! You're wearing the same cologne as I am!"

"Oh…" Rainbow said distastefully. "You're wearing fajita cologne too, are ya?"

"Yeah," Pierce said. "That is so far out!"

"I thought it seemed thicker than usual when I came over here," Rainbow grumbled with annoyance.

Derpy smiled. "I knew there was something about your scent that I liked, Rainbow," she said. "It suits you. I always thought Pierce wearing it was just funny, but I like it on you."

"Thanks, Derpy," Rainbow muttered. "This'll be fun, going out to brunch with you. We should eat out together another time, only without… you know." She tilted her head toward Pierce.

Derpy trained one eye firmly on Dash, oddly serious-faced as she considered the suggestion. "Eating out, just you and me? …I'd like that."

"Good, 'cause… well, 'cause we really should," Rainbow said.

"Then we will."

"Great."

"Yeah."