Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Chapter Fifteen

"And we're back! This is DJ P0n-3—hey, how about that Pinkie Pie party last night? That was rockin'. Aired out some new tunes, and got my hooves on a couple of fit blokes in the bargain. Ahhh, yeah! Anyhooze, Ponyville, get ready for a special treat. I'm joined here in the studio by four of Equestria's most talented up-and-coming musicians. Please welcome Ryu, Nyu, Kyu, and Magnolia."

Rarity shrieked at the radio. "Przewalski are in Ponyville? Are they playing? Do I get to see them?"

Rainbow raised an eyebrow at Rarity as she reclined on the library stairs. "Since when do you listen to alt-rock?"

"I don't," Rarity admitted, "but Ryu is so cute!"

"Ryu?" Rainbow said, wrinkling her nose. "You're ten years older than him."

"I'll wait for him."

"I'd go for Ryu," Sweetie Belle said absently. She and the other Crusaders were at a table with several open books. "And then break his heart and go out with Kyu."

"Niiiiice," Rainbow exclaimed. "You like Kyu, huh Sweetie?"

"Yeah, he's… hunky," Sweetie Belle said, giggling.

"Focus, Sweetie," Apple Bloom said sharply. "Lemme see that diagram again." Scootaloo passed her a book depicting the physiology of a majestic and ancient winged unicorn. "You know, a lot of ponies forget this, but immortals are just as much earth pony as they are pegasus and unicorn. In the olden days, an immortal could walk down a brand new paved road and flowers would grow out of it. That's all earth pony."

"Earth power," Sweetie Belle said, holding her hoof aloft.

"Yo," Apple Bloom replied, bumping it.

"Yeah, earth ponies forever… word," Scootaloo said absently. "Listen, I think we should focus more on the names thing. I think that'll get us closer to our cutie marks."

"Yeah, but the three-tribes-union-thingy is about the future," Apple Bloom said. "Not just ours, but everypony's."

"But we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders," Scootaloo enunciated.

"I know," Apple Bloom muttered. "But the 'name science' deal is so small-scale. We've got to think big!"

"Name science is a big deal, girls," Twilight said, approaching the Crusaders' table. "I was surprised when you asked me about it. I had to dig into the directory to find anything; I don't have to do that often, let me tell you. It's ancient stuff, older than Equestria, as old as the pony species. Most ponies don't realize that name science is even a real thing."

"You seem to be familiar with it," Sweetie Belle said.

Twilight nodded. "When Princess Celestia first took me in as her protégé, it was the first paper she assigned to me. The research was rough, there's very little existing material on the subject. But very much worth learning. A lot of scholars say it's not real magic, that ponies are 'socially conditioned' to pursue skills related to their names. Let me tell you, that's bunk. A destiny tied to your name comes looking for you. It's waiting, like an old friend, out there somewhere."

"Now that's a lot cooler than those old physiology diagrams," Scootaloo said smugly.

"Thought you hated the mushy stuff," Apple Bloom said.

"This isn't mushy, it's badass."

"I'll leave you to it," Twilight said, strolling back to her desk.

Sweetie Belle leaned in to look at Apple Bloom's book. "Is that an immortal stallion? I didn't know they had those."

"They don't exist anymore," Apple Bloom said, glancing at the caption. "And they were always really rare, I guess."

"He's cute."

"You say every guy is cute," Apple Bloom said, rolling her eyes.

"I do not," Sweetie Belle insisted.

"You've been starting to, lately."

"I'm open in my budding sexuality."

"Good for you, keep it to yourself."

"Um, hi," someone said.

The Crusaders looked up to see a pale gray filly with purple eyes, her mane in pigtails, and wearing a frilly white mini-dress. "Are you guys the, uh, Cutie Mark Crusaders?" she asked.

"We sure are," Apple Bloom said cordially. "Sup?"

The filly paused, looking from one Crusader to another nervously. "Well… uh, my name's Soup Spoon. And Silver Spoon… my, uh, cousin… told me to come meet you guys. Uh, here."

"She did?" Scootaloo said, glancing back at her fellows.

"Yeah," Soup Spoon said softly. "She said she'd be here soon."

"Really?" said Sweetie Belle.

"Aw," Apple Bloom said sympathetically. "I hate to tell you this, but it sounds like you've just been ditched."

"Huh?" Soup Spoon said blankly.

"Happens all the time," Apple Bloom said. "We don't hang out with Silver Spoon, she must be trying to… load you off, or something."

"Oh…" Soup Spoon said, dejected.

"It's okay!" Apple Bloom assured her, perking up. "We'll put all our research aside for a sec. Let's hang out! We'll have the best day ever, Silver Spoon will see how much fun we're having, and she'll wish she hadn't dumped you. She learns her lesson, and we get a letter to the princess out of it."

"A letter to—wait, what?" Soup Spoon said, her eyes widening. "What princess?"

"Princess Celestia," Apple Bloom said. "We're part of her 'magic of friendship' study. We're supposed to write to her when we have new and valuable life experiences."

"Plus, Princess Luna wants us to keep her posted on our cutie mark journey," Scootaloo added. "So… yeah. We're in touch with both of the princesses." She blinked, as if just realizing this herself. "How about that?"

"Wow," Soup Spoon breathed. "You guys must be, like… really cool."

"Nah, we're not that cool," Apple Bloom said, coming around the table. "We're just a bunch of blank flanks on a mission to find our true purpose. Are you…?" She peeked at Soup Spoon's flank, but found it covered by her dress, and Soup Spoon edged away.

"I'd rather not confirm or deny that," Soup Spoon said. She beamed, a bit too broadly.

"All right, no worries," Apple Bloom said after a pause. "Let's go do something awesome!"

"WOO!" Scootaloo said, jumping into the air. The four fillies departed the library.

"Those Crusaders are just growing up too fast," Rarity said fondly.

"Yeah," Rainbow agreed. "Your sister's gone all colt-crazy. That's so funny! Gonna be fun to watch what happens there."

Rarity smiled. "She's a filly of many layers, but a girly-girl at heart. I guess she gets it from me. Our mother's certainly not what you'd call feminine…"

The two of them noticed the sound of Twilight's quill zipping across a sheet of parchment. They turned their heads, and saw Twilight completely engrossed in whatever she was writing, her nose right up against it.

"I bet Sweetie Belle sees action before Twilight does," Rainbow said.

"Oh, that's just crude," Rarity said. "And mean."

"I know, that's why it's funny."

"Um… what are you guys talking about?" Twilight said absently.

"Oh, we were just wondering what you were doing," Rarity said casually.

"I'm writing to Snicker-Snack," Twilight replied.

"Ah, your 'dark and edgy' stallion," Rarity said, nodding. "When do we get to hear more about him?"

"When all six of us are together, I guess," Twilight said, shrugging. "I don't want to have to repeat myself or anything."

"Come on, give us something," Rainbow pressed.

"Okay," Twilight said softly. She turned to Rarity and Rainbow. "Fact is, I'm crazy about him, and I think he's equally as crazy about me. He knew who I was as soon as he saw me… I guess he'd been admiring my work for a while. He researches me. Basically, he's my biggest fan."

Rainbow flinched uneasily. "Sounds more like he's your stalker."

"Oh, stop it," Twilight said. "You're one to talk, missy."

"Touché."

"I don't see it as weird," Twilight went on. "I mean, I am a public figure. Kind of. Not really, but sort of. After all, there's, what, two stained-glass windows with my depiction in them? That's two more than most ponies have."

"Sure, sure," Rainbow said, nodding.

"Plus, I see no reason to worry about stalking when I'm in Ponyville and he, I'm pretty sure, lives in Canterlot…"

Tap tap tap.

Twilight turned toward the window, and saw Snicker-Snack standing there, smiling and waving to her.

"Well I'll be damned," Twilight muttered, darting for the door.