Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Check this out. I have copies of the updated re-releases of Baldur's Gate I and II, Icewind Dale I and II, and Planescape: Torment—all five of the games made with the Infinity Engine, the system that defined the Western role-playing game. Of course, I don't have access to a DVD-compatible PC, so they've been collecting dust on my shelf for months. Anyway, I started thinking about making an adventuring party based on Friendship is Magic. I'm thinking, Applejack and Rainbow as the warrior-types, Twilight and Rarity as the wizard/sorcerer types, Fluttershy as the priest, and Pinkie filling in the rogue position. Then I thought, hmm, I'm not much for drawing, but maybe I could design humanized portraits of them filling those roles. And after I do that, hey, maybe I can search the show for little voice clips to use as their sound-sets. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but anyway, it's something that was just on my mind.

Then I'm online, looking up nothing in particular related to Icewind Dale, and I find out… someone's already done it. Yes, everything I just described, somebody else came up with it before I did. Exactly the way I was planning on doing it.

Holy crap. I thought the world besides me had lost interest in those games around 2004. I guess the pony fandom is just friggin' everywhere.

Chapter Fourteen

Big Mac and Fluttershy stood together on Ponyville's bridge, watching the coming sunset, when Pinkie Pie suddenly zipped onto the bridge and squeezed her way between the two of them.

"Got a bone to pick with you two!" she declared. "Why didn't you tell me today was your three-week anniversary? I found out ten minutes ago and just BARELY finished putting the party together!"

"I'm s—" Fluttershy began.

"Not another word!" Pinkie bellowed. "You'll be there. Here." She passed an invitation to Fluttershy, smooched Fluttershy full on the lips, then did the same to Big Mac, and vanished just as quickly as she'd appeared.

Blinking, Fluttershy opened the invitation and started to read it. "'An invitation to Fluttershy and Big Macintosh's three-week anniversary rootin'-tootin' buckaroo bash.' O… kay. 'Sweet Apple Acres; dark o'clock sharp; TODAY, thank you very much.' Oh, I do feel bad for Pinkie, we should have given her time to prepare. Okay, 'Free bar, live DJ, bobbing for apples, climbing wall, three unique custom-made bouncy castles, Ferris wheel, spinning teacup ride, and catering by Canterlot's Donut Joe.' I'm suddenly less sorry for her… ahem, 'Unlimited plus-ones, all-night, clothing optional.' Hmm."

Pinkie rushed back over to them. "'Hmm'? What's to hmm about?"

"Oh, nothing," Fluttershy said. "I just thought that the phrase 'clothing optional' sounds like it ought to be naughty, somehow, but… I guess it's really not."

"No, clothing optional just means it's like everyday life," Pinkie said, shrugging. "Now come on! Sun's coming down! Guests of honor can't be late!"

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

The party had all that the invitation promised—and the three custom bouncy houses were shaped respectively like Big Mac, Fluttershy, and Fluttershy's house.

"Howdy, you two!" Applejack said, walking up to the couple with a hot apple pie balanced on her front hoof. "Boy, that Pinkie outdoes herself on a daily basis. None of this was here fifteen minutes ago!"

"Applejack," Fluttershy peeped. "I didn't think you'd come."

"Huh?" Applejack said, surprised. "What are you talkin' about? I wouldn't miss this."

"I thought you didn't approve of me with him," Fluttershy said softly.

"Fluttershy," Applejack said, wrapping a leg around Fluttershy's shoulders comfortingly, "if there can be only one pony I 'approve of' to be with my brother, it's you. You're the best there is."

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash agreed, coming up behind them. "She was just mad 'cause she had dibs on him, but she's over it."

"Oh, another 'inbred hick' joke, that's just… lovely," Applejack said, making a strangely familiar shifty-eyed and tight-lipped face.

"…You're gonna throw that pie at me, aren't you?" Rainbow said nervously.

"Maybe."

Rainbow dodged to the side, but Applejack anticipated where she would end up and aimed the pie accordingly; it caught Rainbow perfectly in the face. "Damn, you're good," Rainbow grumbled.

"Heh heh heh."

"Hot apple pie hurts a lot more than key lime."

"Damn straight."

"Pinkie!" Derpy called from one of the elegant dinner tables. "Where's Pinkie?"

"I'll help you out, Derpy," Rainbow Dash said, flying up to her while wiping pie residue from her face. "I'm co-waitressing tonight. What can I do for you?"

"I ordered mini-muffins, these are cupcakes," Derpy said, indicating her plate.

Rainbow blinked. "You're kidding, right?"

"WHAT?" Pinkie shrieked, popping up at Derpy's table. "That's… that's slander! How you can even SUGGEST that I would EVER—" She glanced at Derpy's plate. "Son of a Swiss cake roll, you're right. Those are cupcakes."

"Wha…?" Rainbow mumbled.

"A grievous error on my part, for which I apologize," Pinkie said grandly, taking the plate away. "I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Pinkie," Derpy said.

"I can't believe I'd make that mistake," Pinkie muttered. "I must be off my game tonight…"

"Is this some kind of joke?" Rainbow demanded, looking around. "Am I on tape?"

"Probably not," Pinkie said, returning with a new plate with impossible haste. "Since we're outdoors, you're more likely to be on film."

"Wha…?"

"Here you are, Derpy. Mini-muffins it is."

Rainbow stared at Derpy's new plate. "But… but that's the same!"

Derpy turned one eye to Rainbow (the other eye remained fixed on her muffins). "You makin' fun of me?" she said softly.

"No, Derpy," Rainbow sighed. "I would never—"

"So, you're making fun of muffins, then?" Derpy challenged.

"What? No, no no no, of course not…"

"Good," Derpy growled. "'Cause if you diss muffins, I will have to cut you."

"Okay, noted," Rainbow said, walking away. "The hell? Hey, Fluttershy." She flew over to Fluttershy's table. "I know it's you guys' party, but you mind if I talk business with you for a sec?"

"Talk away," Fluttershy said graciously. "Is the Thread selling?"

"Like candy," Rainbow said smugly. "I thought we were gonna run out, but G keeps bringing out more from… someplace. Brings out the clumps of thread, we weave 'em into the different garments and things. Griffons, say what you will about 'em, they're bitchin' weavers."

"So what do you need from me?" Fluttershy asked.

"We, me and Gilda, are working on an advertising campaign," Rainbow explained, "mostly to get a location set up in another city. What we need is somepony to model the stuff." She leaned in toward Fluttershy, beaming hopefully.

"Model?" Fluttershy gulped. "No, no, I don't want to be a model again. I hated modeling."

"But you were so good at it…" Rainbow whined.

"Look, I am who I am, but I don't want that kind of publicity again," Fluttershy said diplomatically.

Rainbow leaned across the table and pouted. "But you're so pretty and cute and charismatic…"

"Rainbow… I can't, I'm sorry."

"Meh, fine," Rainbow grumbled, leaning back.

"Sorry," Fluttershy said, wincing.

"It's okay," Rainbow assured her. "Look, you have more money invested in the gold stuff than everypony else combined, we kind of have to do what you say."

"Oh," Fluttershy said, surprised. "Well, I had lots of money left over from… well, from my modeling stint. I never knew what to do with it, it was just laying around—is that a problem? Should I give up some of my shares?"

"No, no, we're super-extra-grateful, believe it," Rainbow said, tapping Fluttershy's hoof comfortingly. "It'll be nice, having you in a position of authority."

"I don't like being in a position of authority," Fluttershy mumbled.

"Which is exactly why you should be put into a position of authority more often."

"Aw…" Fluttershy said, blushing.

"So back to the drawing board on the advertising deal," Rainbow said thoughtfully.

"You should be the model, Dash," Big Mac piped up.

"Yeah, ha-ha," Rainbow retorted.

"No, really, make that pouty face again," Big Mac insisted.

"What, like this?"

"Yeah, there you go. You could sell worms to an apple with that face."

"Well, thanks," Dash said. "You'd be good for the job too, you know. We film you lifting something heavy, and tell everypony you use Golden Thread. Heck, you could be the Golden Thread sixteen-month calendar all by yourself."

"For the ladies," Big Mac said, winking.

"Bingo. Fluttershy, tell me your guy wouldn't bring in the sales."

"No, he certainly would," Fluttershy said, smiling. "You should do it, sweetheart."

"A'ight, what do I sign?" Big Mac asked.

"That can wait," Rainbow said. "Don't let me ruin your anniversary party. I was just dropping in." She started to stand up.

"Dashie, wait," Fluttershy pleaded. "Stay and hang out with us. Mac, honey, can you fetch some punch?"

"You betcha, babe," said Big Macintosh.

He stood up and walked to the bar. Fluttershy watched him leave, then leaned in and snarled at Rainbow Dash, "Stop flirting with my boyfriend on our anniversary!"

"Gah! What?"

"Back… off," Fluttershy hissed, her eyes wide and an inch away from Dash's.

"Hey, he started it," Rainbow protested. "Quit being so insecure."

"Quit being so—maybe we haven't met. I'm Fluttershy."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Rainbow said, bowing her head. "Just take it easy. He flirts with everypony, it's how he communicates, you know that. He's harmless. Just let me enjoy it."

"Right," Fluttershy whispered.

Big Mac returned with a tray of three glasses of punch. "Here y'are, ladies," he said. "Can you believe Pinkie got DJ P0n-3 down here?"

"They go way back," Fluttershy said.

Rainbow tilted her head as a song started. "Ooh, my favorite, listen to that guitar intro! We should dance, you guys."

"All righty," Fluttershy replied. She took a big gulp of the punch, and Big Mac walked out onto the dance floor, the two mares following him.

"Rainbow, did you put rum in this punch?" Fluttershy asked, peering into her glass.

"Why do you always assume I put rum in the punch?" Rainbow said innocently.

"Because you always put rum in the punch."

"Okay, that checks out."

"You can't see a bowl of punch without tampering with it," Fluttershy went on. "One time, there already was rum in the punch and you added more."

"Oh yeah. That was a good night."

"Says you."