Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Chapter One Hundred and Forty-Two

As the adults returned to the hotel, they found Apple Bloom stumbling out of the Teen Zone, dizzy and wearing a lampshade on her head.

"Thanks, y'all!" she called into the room. "Aw, I love you too. Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow night! Wooooo…"

"Apple Bloom?" Twilight said in surprise. "You're up late."

"Well, sure," she said, her tongue lolling out. "Had to spend some time with my fans. Killed 'em out there! Heh heh."

"Where are the others?" Twilight asked.

"Spike and Scootaloo disappeared a while back. And Sweetie Belle told me she was goin' to bed early. I guess because… well, see above. What's goin' on with alla you?"

Fluttershy stepped forward and pulled Apple Bloom into a big hug without saying a word, just holding her tightly.

"Uh… whatcha doin' there, Fluttershy?" Apple Bloom said nervously.

"Oh, just the raising the level of intimacy with the pony who'll soon be my little sister," Fluttershy said casually.

Apple Bloom gasped. "No…"

"Yes," Fluttershy sang.

"You're gettin' married?" said Apple Bloom, her eyes widening.

"We are."

"YES!" Apple Bloom shouted, jumping into the air. "Oh! Oh, that's so great!"

Fluttershy giggled. "And I can see that you really mean it this time."

"Oh, I sure do!" Apple Bloom whooped, bouncing all over the lobby.

"You know, I noticed your natural fur is starting to come back in," Fluttershy observed. "That's good. You looked so scary when it was stark white. Your natural color is so cute and cheerful-looking…"

Apple Bloom beamed. "Fluttershy… I'm so happy for you. It's always nice to know you're stickin' around."

"Of course I am," Fluttershy cooed. "I'm not going anywhere, my little pony."

They hugged tightly, Apple Bloom's face pressed up against Fluttershy's chest.

"Wow," she remarked. "It's true what they say, you really do have a great body."

"Okay, we're done here," said Fluttershy, gently pushing her away in annoyance. She scowled at Big Macintosh. "What's so freaking special about my damn body?"

"It is pretty rockin'," Pinkie offered. "Not that I would know… whoa, are you okay?"

Fluttershy's annoyed expression had grown vacant, and she seemed on the verge of swooning. "I cursed twice in one sentence," she said exhaustedly. "It almost made me pass out…"

"Hey, Derpy," said Rainbow in a muffled voice, hovering near the reception desk, "look what I got."

She opened her mouth and extended her tongue, where a teeny-tiny muffin was resting.

"MUFFIN!" Derpy shrieked. She tackled Rainbow, and they spun around and around in the air, rising to the ceiling as they kissed intensely.

"Ooh, that was so sexy," said Derpy, chewing on the diminutive muffin.

"Well, you're sexy," Rainbow replied. "And you make me feel sexy."

"You should feel sexy, 'cause you are sexy," Derpy gushed. "And you make me… about twenty percent sexier."

"Oh, you…" Rainbow said lovingly.

They kept kissing as they hovered among the overhead lights, slowly floating downward. Applejack watched them, and Twilight tried not to.

"Man…" Applejack remarked, "lesbians are so lucky."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "What, all of them? How so?"

Applejack shrugged. "You know… I have no idea how to talk to guys. I don't even know how a pony learns that kinda thing. But I can sure talk to girls! It's easy. All I'd have to do to find what I'm lookin' for is talk to some girl, like I always do. I'd be pretty happy. I mean, you even use the same word, 'girlfriend', whether they're your lover or just a buddy. It's nice and simple."

"Well, I can't speak for the lesbian community, but I'm sure they'd tell you it's not as easy as all that," Twilight said. "I could also point out that Rainbow and Derpy aren't lesbians, they're both bisexual."

"Mm!" Rainbow exclaimed. She started to say something, but couldn't bring herself to stop kissing Derpy, so she held up a hoof to signal them to wait a moment and kept kissing her for a few more seconds before finally pulling away.

"Okay, technically correct," she said, "and you get points for clarifying that for us, thank you, but there's no need to point that out anymore. When I was single, sure, I'd want to let ponies know I'm bi, but now that I'm in a serious relationship, bringing it up just makes it sound like I'm after an affair or a threesome or something, and I'm not into that. I'm not bi-anything, not anymore. Only got one target. I am… Derpysexual."

"Aww," said Derpy. "And I'm Rainbowsexual. No, wait, that just makes me sound super-gay…"

"You're with me now, baby. You are super-gay."

"Mm, yeah I am," Derpy giggled.

Rainbow wrapped an arm around Derpy's shoulders. "S'pose I never went over the ground rules with you guys, did I? I guess I didn't need to, you've been surprisingly cool about our whole thing. I expected somepony to ask which of us is the stallion in the relationship, but it never happened."

"Uh… and what would you have said to that?" said Twilight, confused.

"I would have gone off on a huge tirade about it," said Rainbow. "But I guess I didn't need to. Or maybe I do need to. Maybe you didn't ask because you thought it went without saying that it was me! Is that it?" She leered suspiciously.

"If you've prepared a tirade, just do it," Twilight said in amusement. "We're listening."

"Okay!" Rainbow chirped. "It goes like this: I'm obviously the husband, right? Wrong. If there was a stallion in this relationship, there would be a stallion in this relationship. Two mares, two girlfriends, two brides, two wives, you got that? On our wedding cake toppers—not that we're getting married anytime soon, but when that comes up—I want us both in dresses. If you get us towels, make sure they all say 'hers'… and I figured from there I'd just pick up momentum based on the gaffes you were all making, but everypony's just been too tolerant for me to get any good material."

Twilight laughed. "Well, what you had was well-done."

"We know you're a girl, Rainbow," Applejack added, grinning.

"Just wanted to make sure," Rainbow laughed. After a pause, she solemnly added, "Sometimes, when I meet somepony new, I can tell it takes them a second to notice I'm a girl. Just sometimes."

"Yeah, I've had that problem too," Applejack admitted. "Look, don't think you have to explain your whole lifestyle to me just because I'm a backwoods hick who mines mud or whatever it is you think I do. I get it. Heck, I would've made a damn good lesbian. At this point in my life, I almost wish I was. But I'm not." She turned to Twilight, who looked back at her with interest. "What? I'm really not!" she said defensively.

"I didn't say you were…?" Twilight said blankly.

"Well, I'm not," Applejack sighed. "Unfortunately."

"Meh, any mare would've been lucky to have you," Twilight said flippantly. "As will some guy at some future point, fairly soon, I'm sure."

"Aw, thanks Twi," Applejack said, beaming.

"I always pictured you with a guy who was… really big," said Twilight. "Big enough to handle you." She winked. "And muscular. A farm worker like you. The quiet type, who's got this rough-textured coat, so you can tell he's been working out in the sun all day…"

Applejack blinked. "So… you see me with a guy exactly like my brother? How about no?"

Twilight winced. "Ew… did not think about it like that. Sorry…"

At some point during the conversation, Derpy had swept Rainbow away and pinned her against the wall, where the two of them were now kissing again. Flutterhsy and Big Mac were conversing with Apple Bloom, and Pinkie and Rarity joined up with Applejack and Twilight.

"Isn't this great?" Pinkie said happily. "We've all got somepony."

"Uh, what about me and Rarity, Pinkie?" Applejack said pointedly.

"Well, you've got each other," said Pinkie, shrugging. "You're being single together. I think that's a beautiful thing."

Applejack and Rarity looked at each other. "It is rather beautiful, isn't it?" Rarity said. "Even if we haven't had much luck so far, I couldn't be happier that you proposed it, AJ."

"It is pretty sweet, isn't it?" Applejack agreed. "We've been havin' fun."

"Who would have thought," said Twilight, "that I'd start a project about romance, and within a few months, all six of us would be… yeah. Discoveries are so much more fulfilling when I can share them."

Applejack nodded. "I guess it's just that time in our lives when we should be thinkin' about this stuff."

"Yes," said Rarity, smiling. "We're in our mid-twenties, not getting any younger… granted, we're getting older slowly, but we are getting older. It's only natural that we're looking to settle down, though personally I'm all for having a bit more fun first."

Fluttershy was looking over the hotel directory posted near the elevators. "Ooh, Macky, look!" she said excitedly. "I didn't know this hotel had a rooftop pool. That's amazing!"

"It's all ours, Fluttershy," Twilight called over to her. "The top floor and the roof are solely reserved for our party as long as we're here."

Fluttershy squealed. "That's perfect! Macky, do you want to do it in the pool?" Her grin tightened, and her face flushed red. "I mean… do things in the pool. Pool things."

"Pool things, huh?" Rainbow teased. "Is that what they're calling it now?"

"No, honey," said Derpy. "I think she's saying 'pool things' to try to backtrack from what she—"

Rainbow stared at her.

"Oh, you got that," Derpy said hastily. "Okay."

Both elevators opened; most of the party filled one, and Rainbow and Derpy looked the other. Twilight moved to join them, but backed away. "You know what, I get the feeling I'm gonna regret being alone with an elevator with you two."

"You're probably right," Rainbow said brightly. "Come on, babe, let's do elevator things."

"Yeah!" Derpy said happily. The two of them started making out as the elevator doors closed.

"Let's not crowd ourselves," Twilight assured the others. "I'll catch the next one."

"I'll stay with you, Twilight," said Pinkie, hopping out of the elevator just before the doors closed.

"You made a pretty good point, Pinkie," said Twilight. "All those months ago, all six of us were single, and… well, we didn't really care, we didn't have a problem with it, but… now, none of us have to be that way anymore. We're all doing pretty good in that department."

"Yeah," said Pinkie. "You know, if you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion… love actually is all around."

Twilight laughed. "Indeed it is."