Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Eight

In the Crusaders' clubhouse, Silver Spoon sat at the little desk with a loose-leaf notebook, rapidly writing with a tiny chicken-feather quill, while Apple Bloom sat on a beanbag chair near the bookshelf, flipping through a magazine.

"Hey, how do you spell 'presumptuous'?" Silver Spoon asked.

"Uh… I dunno," Apple Bloom said absently. "How do you spell 'presumptuous'?"

"Wrong," Silver Spoon retorted. "Can you pass me a dictionary?"

She had barely finished her sentence when the heavy book hit her in the face and landed, with a clunk, on the desk. "Thank you," she said dryly.

There was an unexpected clattering sound, as the ramp leading up to the clubhouse shook rapidly. Sweetie Belle burst into the room, red-faced and livid, her teeth bared and breathing raggedly. "Where's Scootaloo?" she demanded darkly.

"Haven't seen her since school let out," said Apple Bloom, rapidly closing her magazine and rushing across the room. "Are you okay?"

"Did you… did you hear…?" she stammered, barely able to get the words out.

"What?" Apple Bloom said frantically. "What is it, Sweetie?"

She swallowed hard. "I… I've been hearing gossip… all over school, all day… that Scootaloo and Spike are… dating."

Apple Bloom's jaw dropped, her eyes widening for the first time since her goth makeover. "Wow. That's… wow. No, I hadn't heard any rumors. But I thought I saw somethin' on opening night of the play."

"What did you see?" Sweetie Belle said harshly.

"I thought I saw them kissin', but…"

"Kissing?" she said shrilly. "On opening night? Why didn't you say anything?"

"'Cause I couldn't believe my eyes!" Apple Bloom said defensively. "Scootaloo's always shipped you with Spike. What I was seein' just didn't make any sense."

"'Shipped' me with him?" Sweetie demanded. "There's that word again, 'shipping', what does that mean?"

"Um…" Apple Bloom said blankly. "I can't explain it. Silv?"

Silver Spoon punctuated the sentence she was writing and said, "It's a fanfiction term. If you want two characters to be in a relationship, you say you're 'shipping' them."

"Fanfiction?" Sweetie Belle said in irritation. "So ponies use fanfiction terms to talk about who they want to see hook up in real life? What kind of world is this?"

"Hey, fanfiction is extremely influential," Silver Spoon said indignantly.

"Opening night," Sweetie Belle pondered. "When, exactly?"

"At the end," said Apple Bloom, "when the meet and greet was over and the lobby was almost empty."

Sweetie Belle grunted and scuffed the wood floors with her hooves, thinking hard. "I remember that night," she said. "Spike and I had a nice talk. I thought… I thought…" She trailed off and stared at the floor.

"Ya thought what?" Apple Bloom whispered.

"I dunno," Sweetie Belle said glumly. "Silver Spoon, do you know anything about this Spike and Scootaloo thing?"

"What would I know?" she said nervously.

"I dunno, maybe you've heard more rumors than I have?"

"Well, um…" She looked down at what she was writing as if she was genuinely surprised by it. "Oh! Looks like I did hear about it…"

"What are you writing?" Sweetie Belle said suspiciously.

"It's… it's nothing," she said hastily, leaning over it. "Just some thoughts I'm jotting down."

"Why are you hiding it from me? You weren't hiding it from Apple Bloom."

"Uh, that is true," Silver Spoon admitted, growing increasingly nervous. "it's actually… not something I'd need to hide from… her… I guess…"

Silver Spoon's eyes widened as Sweetie Belle's pale green aura surrounded the pages. She tried to told them down, but the magic snatched it away. Sweetie Belle looked over it, her brow furrowing more as she read. She turned to Silver Spoon furiously. "Is this Spike/Scootaloo fanfiction?" she demanded.

"Um… maybe?" Silver Spoon said with awkward grin. "Yes, all right? Yes, I heard the rumors, and it got my creative juices flowing, I just had to write a story about it. I'm sorry… I should have come to you first and told you about the rumors, I just had to get all of this out. Now gimme it back…"

Sweetie Belle pulled it further away and kept reading. "I don't get it," she growled. "I mean… who exactly do you think is going to read this?"

Silver Spoon glared. "Nopony. It was just for me. But if you're gonna give me attitude about it, maybe I'll submit it to a magazine! I get published in fanfiction magazines a lot, you know. I bet my fans would love to see some of my original work."

Sweetie tossed aside the first page of the story, and Silver Spoon immediately grabbed it and put it back in her book while Sweetie kept reading.

"Snowing and raining at the same time?" she said skeptically, raising an eyebrow at Silver Spoon.

"It's called sleet," Silver Spoon snapped. "It's a real thing, look it up."

Exasperated, Sweetie Belle tossed all the pages into the air, and Silver Spoon leaped out of the desk to gather them all up.

"Opening night," Sweetie Belle grumbled. "The same night… opening night! I saw Spike that night! We talked! You'd think he would have mentioned… or that Scootaloo would have mentioned it to me or somepony, that night, or sometime after, or however long they've been smooching in public! Are they keeping this a secret from me or something? Why would they do that? Why did I have to find out about it from schoolyard gossip, only to find that Silver Spoon is already writing slash fic about it!"

"Ship fic," Silver Spoon corrected contemptuously, setting the pages back on the desk. "It's ship fic. 'Slash fic' is ship fic about same-sex couples, usually those who don't swing that way in canon. Yeesh, don't get me wrong, you know your theater, but you are a cultural wasteland when it comes to fanfiction! You're not even pronouncing the word correctly. It's fan-fiction, not fan-fic-tion."

"I don't care how you pronounce it," Sweetie Belle said wildly, her eyes bulging and her teeth gritted, "and I don't see what the heck is supposed to be the appeal about it, and I don't like that you're making light of this terrible thing that's happening to me here!"

"Sweetie Belle, you gotta calm down!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "You're doin' the crazy jealous thing again! Did you learn nothin' from the Featherweight fiasco? All your perfectly good character development down the drain."

Silver Spoon sucked on the tip of her quill thoughtfully. "Maybe… that's the whole point," she mused.

"What?" Sweetie Belle snapped.

"Take it easy," Silver Spoon said calmly. "I'm trying to be helpful now. But you gotta go back to being nice first."

"Okay," Sweetie Belle said, taking a few deep, shaky breaths. "Okay. What have you got?"

"Remember when you suspected for a second that Featherweight was with Diamond Tiara to make you jealous?" Silver Spoon said smoothly, sliding across the floor. "What if that's what Spike is doing now? And Scootaloo… there's no way she doesn't know that's what's up. AB's right, she was always pushing for you to end up with Spike, I can't imagine her changing her mind on that so easy. Heck, she was there when you went nuts over Featherweight and Tiara, the whole thing was probably her idea."

"Silver Spoon, that's… brilliant," Sweetie Belle gasped. "That makes perfect sense!"

Silver Spoon plopped down in the beanbag chair, her hooves behind her head. "Not my first relationship melodrama, friend," she said smugly.

Sweetie Belle walked to the window, looking inspired. "Of course, she's just trying to mess with me! Well, it's not gonna work. Oh hey, here she comes now." She turned to grin at Apple Bloom. "Check this out. Watch me call her bluff." She pressed herself against the wall right next to the door.

"Call her bluff?" Apple Bloom said blankly. "You mean you're not gonna tell her how you really feel about all this?"

"Feel?" Sweetie Belle said cheerfully. "I don't feel anything. She can mess with me all she likes, I don't care if she's dating Spike or not."

"That's not what it looked like thirty seconds ago," Apple Bloom said apprehensively.

Scootaloo flapped into the clubhouse, and Sweetie Belle instantly stepped forward. "Scootaloo!"

"Waugh!" Scootaloo exclaimed, jumping away from her in shock. "Hey, Sweetie, what's up?"

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Sweetie said insincerely. "I've been hearing these wild rumors. Is it… is it true you're going out with Spike?"

Scootaloo hung her head in shame, still hovering in the air. "Ah, yes. Yes, I am."

"Well, that's… I mean… that kinda stings, Scootaloo," Sweetie Belle said in a pained voice. "You must have known that I was kinda-sorta starting to like Spike back. Didn't you?"

Scootaloo gaped. "No. No, I had no idea… I'm so sorry. What… what do you think we should do about this?" She looked shocked, but couldn't stop a triumphant smirk from appearing at the edges of her mouth.

Silver Spoon leaned forward in the chair excitedly, and she sidestepped toward Apple Bloom. "You picking up on that?" she whispered.

"Yeah…" she whispered back. "Looks like you were onto somethin'…"

"Scootaloo, you and I have been friends, like, forever," Sweetie Belle said declaratively. "I think it would be very wrong to let a colt, even one as special as Spike, get between us and wreck our friendship. How about we make a pact, a best friends pact, so that neither of us can go out with Spike. Ever."

"Ah, I see what she did there," Apple Bloom muttered.

Silver Spoon chuckled and nodded rapidly. "That was good."

Scootaloo's eyes flashed with concern, then widened with understanding and, as quickly as she could, she put on a horribly offended expression. "Sweetie Belle! I… I don't wanna make that pact! I like being with Spike! You can't be serious. You're supposed to be my friend! I don't even wanna think that my friend would try to take him away from me like that!"

Sweetie reeled in surprise. "Um… could you excuse me for a moment?" She darted across the clubhouse and got into a huddle with Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon, staring past them with a blank, terrified face.

"Um…" Apple Bloom said tentatively, "well, I don't know how well this fits into a metaphorical poker situation, but in real poker, you're not supposed to call somepony's bluff if you're bluffin' too."

Sweetie glared.

"When you're bluffin' you gotta raise," Apple Bloom added helpfully.

"Oh, I'll raise," she said with a scowl. "I'll show you raising…"

She turned to face Scootaloo again and started walking toward her. "You're absolutely right," she said. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have disregarded your feelings like that. I mean, my feelings for Spike… they're nothing compared to how much I care about you. So… not that you need it at all… but I'd like to give you my blessing. I hope you and Spike have a really good, fun time together for… as long as possible."

"You know, she is a pretty good actress," Apple Bloom remarked under her breath. "Mood-swingin' like that?"

"Yeah, she's one of those actresses who's at her best when she has to go off-script," Silver Spoon said earnestly.

"Exactly."

"Hehe…"

Scootaloo sighed in relief. "Oh, Sweetie Belle, that makes me so happy! I mean, I was just… terrified about how you'd react to this. This is the happiest moment of my life. I'm gonna go tell Spike that you…" She paused, choked up, and stared at Sweetie in admiration. "You gave us your blessing. You are the best friend a pony could ever ask for! Yeah, I'm gonna go right now and tell him the good news!" And with that, she flew out the door.

Sweetie Belle went to the door and watched her until she was out of sight, then turned to the others, grinning broadly. "SHE'S! GOT! NOTHING!" she roared triumphantly, punctuating each word by punching the air.

"Eh, I dunno, she kinda got the last word on you there," Silver Spoon said uncertainly.

"Well, she's still got nothing…"

"You know, I hate to even bring this up," said Apple Bloom, "but are we sure she's bluffin'? It sure looked like it, but who knows? That could've all been real."

"Of course she's bluffing," Sweetie Belle laughed. "Just you wait, they're gonna break down and confess that it was all some big trick, and they're gonna be like, 'Oh, we're so sorry we messed with your feelings like that', and they're gonna be embarrassed to death when I tell them that I don't even"—her left eye went into a series of intense, twitchy convulsions—"c-c-care."

"Wow," Silver Spoon remarked. "Remind me to learn how to play poker so I can kick your ass at it."

At that, Apple Bloom went into a peal of gut-busting laughter. "And I thought Applejack had tells!"

Sweetie Belle growled at them, which only made them laugh harder.

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Endnotes

All right, people, it's June 2, 2015. That means it's RFE's third birthday! This was supposed to be a three-chapter update, but I scrambled to finish this chapter to make sure that I would at least have an update on this momentous occasion. The next two chapters might still come out today, they might not. We'll see.

And what luck that the story should reach exactly 365 reviews, one for each day of the year, just in time for an annual celebration. Yay!