Romance and the Fate of Equestria

I'd like to apologize for my absence of… a whole buncha months. I've spent a few months with my grandpa, no Internet, and that time got extended even further when, as luck would have it, I got cast in a production of Spamalot. So, I'm back from a very, very long accidental hiatus, but I was writing away all along so I'm open to update all the damn time now. …Actually, since Spamalot was so time-consuming, I guess I won't be making the mass updates I was hoping for. Just… just regular updates, starting now. It would appear, then, that Part Three will definitely not be ending at the same time of year as Parts One and Two did. Shame.

Hmm, here comes another one. That's four. Four almost-consecutive sex chapters. And no, to answer the question that's been posed, Naty-withdrawal is not a factor; the story was mapped before I ever went to see Naty. I attribute it to the fact that I begin each part, after the previous part's big-ass climax, by returning to its slice-of-life roots, and right now, many of our main characters' lives involve sex. According to my outline, this is the last sex chapter for quite some time. Of course, I define a sex chapter as a chapter in which the characters actually have sex. As a topic of conversation, it might continue cropping up.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-One

Derpy poked her head into Golden Oak Library nervously, glancing around. Twilight was at her desk, writing what appeared to be a very lengthy term paper. Derpy silently fluttered across the room, clutching a bundle of mail between her front hooves, and set that mail on the corner of Twilight's desk.

Twilight stared at the mail as if it was the most startling thing she'd ever seen, then shook her head to clear it, blinked her eyes, which she realized had gone dry from a long period of staring at her work, and finally managed to focus on her guest. "Hi Derpy… thanks. Haven't seen you in a couple days."

"Yeah, I know," said Derpy, nodding meaningfully. "I've been moving into Rainbow's house. Well, I've been in Rainbow's house. I don't really have anything to move in there…"

"Huh," Twilight said sympathetically. "Haven't really seen Rainbow for a while either. Not since, well…" She trailed off, realizing exactly when she had last heard from Rainbow Dash, and blushed deeply.

"She's out doing weather work now," said Derpy with a tiny smile. "We both got some time off work, but we're back today. We've just… had a really hard time getting out of bed." She started giggling wildly, almost before her sentence was finished.

"…Uh-huh," Twilight said uneasily.

"She is just so haaaawwwwt…" Derpy said raggedly, her tongue lolling out and her breathing heavy. "You know? She's like… mmm! Don't you think so?"

"Huh?" Twilight said in alarm.

"Don't you think Rainbow Dash is hot?" she reiterated.

"I… I'm straight, Derpy," Twilight said evasively. "I couldn't tell you either way if a mare is hot…"

"Oh. Okay. Well, she is."

Twilight beamed at her.

"And SUCH a good lover!" Derpy blurted.

Twilight winced. "Gah…"

"The best I've ever had," Derpy stated. "By a long shot. I wondered if she was, like, an alien or something, 'cause I thought, there's no mere pony that could make me feel that good…"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Derpy confirmed. "You know she'd never been with a girl before me? She told me that, and I didn't believe her at first, 'cause… ooh, she sure knows her way around one." She shuddered pleasurably.

"Good," Twilight said nervously. "That's… good." She smiled sincerely, then pointedly attempted to return to her work.

Derpy smiled obliviously for a few moments. "…Around a girl, I mean," she said conversationally.

"No, I know that's what you meant," Twilight assured her, looking up. "That's good, I… I can't begin to tell you how happy I am for you two." She floated her quill over to Derpy and playfully tickled her nose with it. "So, wait, you're… living together now?"

"Mm-hmm," Derpy giggled.

Twilight frowned. "Derpy, aren't you afraid you guys are maybe going a little too fast?"

Derpy slouched, averting one eye in shame while the other remained pointed up at the ceiling. "Well, I… I, uh… I don't have any other place to live. I gave up my place 'cause I was gonna live with Pierce. It's already been taken."

"Oh," Twilight breathed. "Oh, I'm sorry, Derpy. It's good of Rainbow to take you in, then."

"Well, you know… of course she's taking me in," said Derpy, staring blissfully into space. "I'm her girlfriend."

Twilight's eyes grew big and dewy; she was hopelessly enchanted.

"We know we've been going too fast," Derpy said softly. "Heck, our first date was a honeymoon vacation. But after we got back, we… we talked about it. About how fast it was going. So… we're gonna sit still for a while. See how it goes, livin' together, like… maybe for a year. If we're still doing really good in a year, then we'll talk about getting things moving again, like maybe an engagement."

"Okay," said Twilight. "That's good. Sounds like you've been thinking hard about this."

"Had to," Derpy giggled. "She wouldn't have sex with me until we came up with a plan. Which was probably good, we needed a break anyway. I didn't realize how achy I was until we stopped…"

"Um… okay," Twilight said uneasily. She bit her tongue for a moment, but sighed and gave in to her curiosity. "Is it, um… is it really something that can be called 'sex', what you do with her? Maybe my personal definition of sex is a bit conservative, but how exactly do two mares do… that?"

Derpy looked down at her with utmost solemnity. "If you're so straight that you don't know whether Rainbow Dash is hot, you probably don't want to know."

Twilight conceded the point with a nod. "Well said."

"But yeah, we call it sex."

"Okay, good to know," said Twilight, staring determinedly at her paper. "Easier than being technical about it, I suppose."

Derpy pouted sympathetically. "Your boyfriend must not be very imaginative."

"Sure he is!" Twilight exclaimed defensively. "We did other things. But I couldn't get by on just the other things."

"Aw, sure you could! It feels good, doesn't it?"

"But that's just foreplay. You can't finish with… that…" She trailed off with sudden, dawning comprehension as Derpy's pout became more pronounced. "Wait… I can."

"You can," Derpy agreed.

Twilight gave a low whistle. "That never occurred to me. We don't have to go all the way for me to… yes. It might even feel better… Wow. There's so much I need to discover. The Bazaar can't return soon enough…" She stared into space for a few moments, then glanced at Derpy and hastily returned to her writing.

Derpy tilted her head. "You okay, Twilight? You look uncomfortable. Rainbow told me you like discussing personal stuff."

"Well, yeah," Twilight said sheepishly. "With my friends."

Derpy's face fell.

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that!" Twilight said hastily. "Of course you're my friend, Derpy. I just meant… my best friends. The six of us. It's hard letting somepony else be that close to me. I'd be a lot more comfortable talking to you about personal stuff if Rainbow was here."

With shocking abruptness, Derpy's wounded expression became warm and accepting. "Oh, okay."

Twilight beamed and went back to writing.

"But, um…" Derpy whispered. "There's this one thing I can't really talk about with Rainbow here… something I'm afraid of."

"Hmm?" Twilight said absently.

Derpy leaned over Twilight's desk. "She's so out of my league, Twilight," she said gravely. "I don't know if I can hang onto her."

Twilight's jaw dropped. "Derpy… sweetie, where did that come from?"

Derpy's skewed eyes widened, pleading. "Everypony says you're the pony to talk to about… insecurity and stuff."

"Yes, but why would you think she's out of your league?" Twilight said softly.

She shrugged. "She's the coolest, and the greatest, and I'm just… you know… young and silly and… and Derpy."

"Oh, Derpy…" Twilight lifted a hoof and gently ran it through Derpy's mane. "Think about what you're saying. Rainbow confessed her love for you at your wedding because she couldn't let you slip away. …Which, admittedly, makes her sound a bit insane, but what that is, is a sign of her true passion and commitment to you. Being with you means a lot to her. I've never seen her so serious about anything. I've never seen her so… confident."

"Rainbow's always confident," Derpy argued.

"She's really not, Derpy," Twilight said soothingly, patting her head. "You make her truly feel as confident as she acts. I don't think it's ever entered her mind that she's out of your league. Because she wants you more than she's ever wanted anything. You know how I know she really, really loves you? With all her heart?"

"How?" Derpy breathed, intrigued.

"Sometimes…" said Twilight. "Every five minutes or so, actually… for no reason at all, she randomly blurts out, 'I love Derpy so much'."

"She does?" Derpy peeped.

"Yeah," Twilight confirmed. "It's really annoying."

"Awwwwww!" Derpy squealed.

"Don't tell her that you know that," Twilight urged. "She'd never want to do anything that would make ponies go 'awww'."

Derpy giggled hysterically, marveling at this discovery. Twilight noticed her mailbag. "Say, Derpy, aren't you on a schedule?" she prodded.

"Oh!" said Derpy, looking over her shoulder at the bag, which caused her to spin a complete circle. "Yeah, I am. …Thank you, Twilight. I feel better now. I think now I can… feel safe in Rainbow's house."

"Oh, sweetie…" Twilight pulled Derpy into a hug and stroked her mane. "Glad I could help."

"See you later, Twi," Derpy chirped, flying away.

"Godspeed, you weird little sweetheart," Twilight chuckled under her breath.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

It wasn't long after that Rainbow Dash burst in the library's window, letting in a blast of wintry air that sent Twilight's papers drifting across the room. "Hey, Twilight!" she said cheerfully, shaking herself like a dog to jostle the ice crystals off of her furry black cloak.

"Ah! Rainbow!" Twilight exclaimed. She was startled at first, then simply annoyed as the papers floated to the ground. "Hi," she grumbled.

"Ah, I love Derpy so much," Rainbow said dreamily.

In response, Twilight gathered up her pages and starting to read over what she had just written.

"So, what, now you're just ignoring me when I say that?" Rainbow demanded

"That would seem to be the correct course of action, yes."

"It's not gonna work," Rainbow taunted.

"It's worth a shot," Twilight said with a smirk, peering up at her.

"Hehe, no. But really, can I talk to you about Derpy for a minute?"

"I guess," Twilight said cautiously.

"Okay." Rainbow sat down on the floor and thought for a moment. "She…" she began slowly. "Is… just the greatest. I can't believe how lucky I am to have gotten… that."

"That?" Twilight inquired.

"You know, her," Rainbow said enthusiastically. "It's like I've got all the super, wild fun of Pinkie Pie, in Fluttershy's smokin' hot body, and a face that… well, you can't really compare Derpy's face to anything, can you? All in one pony. Who I'm sleeping with. She's just amazing."

"Well," Twilight said in amusement, "you're right about one thing, she does have pretty much the exact same body type as Fluttershy."

Rainbow scowled. "You're mocking me. You think it's just hysterical how smitten I am."

"No, no," Twilight insisted, waving a hoof. "It's… it's not 'funny', per se, it's just… cute. I love how smitten you are. It's a new side of you."

Rainbow smiled at that, holding up two hooves in helplessness. "How can I not be smitten? She's sweet and fun and sexy and a total cutie—and hey, she tells me I'm a good lover. I told her, after our first night together, I told her I'd never done it with a girl before, and she was like, 'WHAT? Get outta here! No way! You must have! You're like a goddess!'" She threw her head back and guffawed. "She lays that stuff on pretty thick, but man, that kinda flattery feels gooooood… it just made me really freaking happy to have her tell me that." She stood up and ruffled her feathers, sighing and relaxing. "We're living together now."

"So I've heard," Twilight said distractedly, glancing over her work.

Rainbow tilted her head. "How have you heard?"

Twilight flinched at her slip. "Well, it's… fairly obvious," she lied with an innocent smile. "She doesn't have a home anymore, where else was she gonna go?"

Rainbow accepted that answer with a nod. "Yeah, you're right about that," she sighed. "I know it seems weird and way too sudden. But we sat down and talked abut it."

"Yes… so I've heard," Twilight said again.

"You've heard that too?" said Rainbow with a raised eyebrow. "Another reasonable assumption, or…?"

"Um… word travels?" Twilight offered sheepishly. "Derpy visits every house in town at least once a day, and she talks to the ponies there, so she's a pretty good source of gossip, especially about herself."

"Right," Rainbow muttered. "Gossip. Gotcha. So she's been talking about it?"

"…So I've heard," Twilight said tightly for a third time. Under her breath, she added, "Doctor-patient confidentiality is a bitch…"

"What was that?" Rainbow asked.

"Hmm? Oh, I was just… mumbling…"

"Ah, mumbling," Rainbow said knowingly. "Yeah. I do that sometimes. I mumble. Last time I was mumbling, it was about how much I love Derpy. I couldn't say it to her face, she was engaged. But now… I've got her. And she's amazing. Sorry, I know I'm like a broken record here, but I just can't get over how great it is."

Twilight smiled. "That's sweet, Rainbow."

Rainbow floated up into the air. "When I think of her," she gushed, "it just makes me wanna…" Unable to find the words, she mimed pulling someone into a warm embrace and then tongue-kissing them, which soon led to her doing pelvic thrusts in midair.

"All right, all right, I get it!" Twilight exclaimed. Her magic aura surrounded Rainbow, immobilizing her and pulling her to the ground while arranging her limbs into a less-provocative position.

"So," Twilight said pointedly upon releasing her, "I hear you're taking things slow, seeing if you can live together for, say, a year?"

"Yeah," Rainbow said uneasily. "I mean, moving in together… that's not a small step. It's a commitment. We're going into it without knowing if we're ready, even though it's… well, it's as big a commitment as getting married, and it could go just as wrong."

"Wrong?" Twilight gasped.

"Nothing's set in stone," Rainbow said in a monotone. "Derpy used to… she used to bug the crap out of me, do you remember? She's the same pony who always… gah!" She ground her teeth at the memory. "Yeah, she's a lot easier to put up with when I can have sex with her, but that's not a solution, that's just delaying the inevitable. You can love somepony but be unable to be around them day in and day out. This year, we'll see if there are relationship troubles that she and I can… muscle through. And Derpy… she's got a short attention span. I can't shake this paranoia that she wouldn't wanna muscle through relationship problems, that if I ever had a problem that I wanted to settle, she'd just stop loving me." She rested her head against a bookcase glumly. "What if she thinks that it's not love if you have to work at it? I don't know what she believes…"

"Have you had any conflicts?" Twilight asked quietly.

"Some. Little stuff. Stuff we haven't solved because… well, she's got a way of escaping arguments that, like I said, really isn't a permanent solution…"

"A way of escaping?"

"Yeah," said Rainbow, chuckling lightly. "Force Derpy into a confrontation and her impulse is to… eat her way out."

"Oh, sweet Celestia…" Twilight grumbled, flinching.

Rainbow laughed. "What's with you? Does that gross you out? It does! You've never had a problem with this kind of talk before, when it involved guys. You have some kind of issues with lesbian sex?"

"What?" Twilight said in alarm. "Nooooo… no, no…"

"Are you sure?" Rainbow teased. "Be honest, we make you squeamish and you hate us."

"Rainbow!" Twilight exclaimed. "I don't have issues with lesbian sex. I have issues with… Derpy sex."

"Come again?"

"Well, I—"

"Which I can do, by the way," Rainbow interrupted with a wicked grin. "I just say 'come again' and Derpy does, just like that."

"…Cute," Twilight said venomously. "Ah, no, what I was saying is that I have a really hard time seeing Derpy as a sexual being. She's so childish and innocent… to think about the sex you're having with her, it kinda makes my skin crawl."

"Really? Derpy?" Rainbow said blankly. "You have a hard time picturing Derpy in sexual situations? That makes no—well, actually, you've only been in Ponyville for a couple years, so… yeah, I guess it does make sense, actually."

"What are you saying?" Twilight asked.

"Most ponies around here don't have any trouble picturing Derpy as a 'sexual being'. You in the mood for a story?"

Twilight shrugged. "Hit me."

Rainbow nodded. "Well, here's how it is. Derpy is a bit younger than our little group, she's twenty-two."

"Uh-huh."

"So, a couple years back, when she was… eighteen, maybe seventeen, just getting out of high school, you know, she, uh… she built up a reputation. She was finding herself, and what she found was a pretty hard partier."

"Really?" said Twilight, intrigued.

"Definitely," Rainbow said grimly. "Oh, she wasn't malicious about it. Never lied or led anypony on, nopony ever did anything they regretted in the morning… she just loved meeting new ponies, and when she liked somepony, she'd try her damnedest to sleep with them. And she's hard to reject; she's tons of fun to be around, she's attractive… you get her throwing herself at you, you're going to come to bed with her. She went for everypony, it was her way of making friends. Dudes or chicks, didn't matter. Age didn't matter. Known her for a lifetime or met her that night, didn't matter.

"In a two-year period… Derpy slept with eighteen different ponies. Now, even in a sitcom, that many sexual partners in that amount of time is a bit excessive. In real life… you can imagine. Eighteen is a lot for a whole lifetime."

"I realize that," said Twilight. "So, when did she stop throwing herself around like that?"

"Oh, let's see…" Rainbow said thoughtfully. "Couple of months before you came to town. Right about the time she first became the mail carrier. She just… I don't know, I guess the responsibility made her slow down a little bit. She started actually dating. Sure, her idea of dating was lots of sex, but you couldn't have her for a plate of cheese anymore, know what I'm saying?"

"I see."

"So, I understand why you didn't know all that," Rainbow went on. "I guess her reputation was pretty much gone by the time you came to Ponyville. Everypony respects her too much, in a Derpy sort of way, to gripe about the days when she was easy, and that reputation was never exactly bad in the first place. Still, for anypony who was much in the Ponyville social scene back then, Derpy is associated with wild sex. You weren't wrong about the childlike innocence, just…"

"Not mutually exclusive," said Twilight, nodding.

"Yeah. It's that sweet, trusting nature that made ponies want her. Which reminds me, I need to pay her gynecologist."

"Yikes!" said Twilight, alarmed.

"Oh, she doesn't have anything," Rainbow said hastily. "She just gets herself checked up often. Just good sense, you know. Won't need to do that anymore, assuming she sticks with me, but she's gotten herself into a bit of debt, and I'm… helping her out."

"Rainbow…" Twilight began.

Rainbow lifted a hoof to stop her. "I can handle her debt," she said firmly. "It's just the right thing to do. I know what you're gonna say, but I'm certain that choosing me has nothing to do with her being in debt…"

"That's not what I was gonna say," Twilight said quietly.

"I mean, yeah," Rainbow rambled, "it's certainly convenient that she went from Pierce, who couldn't provide her with anything, to me, who can… what am I even saying?"

"Just end that train of thought," Twilight advised. "Wrong direction. We know it's not true."

"Right," Rainbow said hastily. "Ending. Ah, what were you gonna say?"

"Well, Derpy's promiscuity before she was with you," said Twilight. "From the sound of things, in excess of twenty sexual partners? Do you ever begrudge her for that?"

"No," Rainbow said simply. "Why would I? What's past is past, and I used to sleep around too, I can't judge her for it." She looked down at the ground. "At least she enjoyed herself. She had sex because she loves sex for the joy and the fun of it. That gives her the moral high ground over me, I just did it to cover up the pain, didn't like one bit of it."

Twilight pouted and gently rubbed Rainbow's shoulder. "You okay?"

Rainbow gave a small smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. The past is behind me. I don't have to think about that anymore."

Twilight nodded. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Shoot."

"Your five-year age difference, does that bother you at all?"

"Mmm… nah," Rainbow decided. "She's twenty-two, that's grown up. Five years isn't that big a difference at all. I mean, sure, if I was twenty-two, and she was sixteen, yeah, problem. But no, it's all kind of evened out by now. We're both in the same basic… bracket."

Twilight quickly scribbled that down. "All right, thanks. Good data. I'm doing some research into romantic double standards."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," said Twilight, tipping her head in gratitude for Rainbow's interest. "Take, for example, Fluttershy and Big Macintosh. He's seven years older than her, and she was a virgin when they started dating while he was… certifiably not so."

"Sure, sure," said Rainbow, nodding attentively.

"And nopony really sees anything out of the ordinary with that discrepancy," Twilight continued. "In some ponies' minds, it's not even worth mentioning, it's just the way a couple works. Others would call it the ideal. For stallions to be experienced and mares not to be. That's normal. Meanwhile, an experienced older mare with an inexperienced younger stallion is practically taboo."

"Cougarism," Rainbow supplied.

"Exactly. You see what a big double standard that is? But if we accept that that double standard is wrong, what does that mean? That a couple always has to be the exact same age? Not exactly probable. Does it make Big Macintosh morally unsound for being in a relationship with somepony with less age and experience than himself?" She was silent for a moment, then prodded Rainbow with her quill. "I need an answer, Rainbow. You usually seem to have the street-smarts to answer questions like that."

"Oh," Rainbow said in surprise. "Well, listen, when it comes to him being more experienced, it's what I said before: past is in the past. And, let me tell ya another thing, two virgins together—it sounds sweet, it sounds like something beautiful and pure, but I've seen it. It's a mess. They don't know what the heck to do, they just embarrass themselves and each other. One experienced partner can be a blessing. As long as all your past sex didn't have any major consequences in your or anypony else's current way of life—which is worth looking into—I don't see it as a big deal. We know Fluttershy is the only one that matters to him now. And they're both adults: she's mature and worldly, he's… not old yet. I don't see too much of a gap.

"I'll tell ya what, the bottom line is: when it's right, it's right. No matter what labels society and double standards put on a relationship, when it's right, it's right."

"When it's right it's right," Twilight repeated thoughtfully. "You've said that before. I think those five words could replace this entire report I've just written."

"Heh, sorry about that," Rainbow chuckled.

"Ah, don't be, I'm not going to discard the whole report, it's still all worth mentioning…" Twilight made a few additions to the report.

"Well, be careful with it," Rainbow advised. "The 'when it's right, it's right' line gets misused a lot. Some couples will spout it even when it's pretty obvious that it's wrong. There's no science to figuring out how it actually works."

"True, there's no one answer to any love conundrum," Twilight agreed. "But that's why it's so much fun pursuing this line of research. Most questions of magic or science have only one answer, and once you've found it, it's not worth talking about anymore, however revolutionary it may be. In the path of friendship and love, every question produces a hundred completely different answers and just as many more questions. I love that."

Rainbow leaned against a shelf again, but this time was smiling pleasantly. "It feels good, friendship. I like taking my thoughts about what's going on in my life, throwing them out among all my friends, and seeing what bounces back. That's kinda new for me."

"Oh, absolutely," Twilight agreed. "New for me too…"

"For all of us, I think. I don't think any of us had really had that kind of depth of friendship before our big Elements of Harmony thing." Rainbow stared off into space blissfully. "I love Derpy so much."

"I know you do," said Twilight with mock annoyance. "Why don't you get out of here and go love her?"

Rainbow laughed. "I just might do that."

She blew out the same window from which she'd come. Twilight winced against the sudden blast of cold air, but couldn't stop herself from laughing it off.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

The next morning, Rainbow woke up and slowly rolled over, to see Derpy flat on her back, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, baby," Rainbow yawned, stretching her arms and wings. "What are you doing wide awake?"

"Oh, just admiring your ceiling," Derpy said absently. "I really enjoy and appreciate ceilings. Does that make me a ceiling fan?"

Rainbow took several long seconds to process that before suddenly breaking out in laughter. "That was terrible."

Derpy cracked a smile, still not looking at Rainbow. "I know."

Rainbow leaned over and kissed Derpy gently on the cheek. "It bodes well that you like looking at my bedroom ceiling, 'cause you're gonna be looking at it a lot."

"Ooooh!" Derpy squealed, grinning broadly. "You're bad!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty bad," Rainbow agreed, pulling her closer for a passionate kiss. "I'm in the mood for doing something special this morning. Wanna head into town and get something to eat?"

"Oh, I don't think we have to go anywhere to get something to eat," said Derpy, leering seductively.

Rainbow guffawed. "Oh, and I'm the one who's bad? You're bad!"

Derpy giggled crazily, and they both ducked under the covers and kissed hungrily.

Several minutes later, they emerged from beneath the blanket, unable to breathe.

"I mean it, though," Rainbow gasped, wiping sweat from her brow. "We can't eat here, unless you want cereal. I can't even make buttered toast without a recipe, and if I burn this place down, it's a very long fall. And I've got a hard day of work, I need a real breakfast."

Derpy kissed her on the cheek. "Rainbow, you don't have to go out somewhere to eat well. I'll make you breakfast. It's the least I can do for the hardest worker in Ponyville, to get her the nutrition she needs!"

She poked Rainbow in the belly, and Rainbow let out a squeaky giggle in response before clearing her throat, embarrassed. "Ah, you can do that? You can make breakfast?" Her eyes widened at the possibilities.

"Yeah," Derpy chirped.

"Derpy, you are so out of my league," Rainbow marveled, before lunging at her to passionately bite and lick her neck.

"Oh, Rainbow," Derpy gasped emotionally. "You… wait. Did Twilight tell you to say that?"

"What?" Rainbow said in bewilderment. "No. Why would Twilight say something like that?"

Derpy bit her tongue and blushed. "Because I told her yesterday that I thought you were out of my league," she confessed with some difficulty.

"You talked to Twilight yesterday?" Rainbow said in surprise. "About our relationship?"

"Yeah, a lot."

"Heh, me too," Rainbow chuckled, before sighing wistfully, her eyes quivering. "I'm scared of losing you, sometimes."

"Yeah," Derpy whispered. "Me too." She pulled Rainbow into a tight hug, and Rainbow snuggled her face into Derpy's mane.

"Well, I don't know about you," Rainbow muttered, "but I can promise that I'm not letting you go. You won't lose me."

Derpy looked up at her, wide-eyed. "I promise too. You'll never, ever have to say goodbye to me."

Derpy nuzzled Rainbow's neck, and Rainbow responded by pushing Derpy's face upward so they were kissing once again, and rolling over so that she was on top.

"Rainbow," Derpy mumbled from beneath her. "Mmm… but aren't you hungry? Don't you wanna… ah!… have breakfast before you have to go to work?"

"Yeah," Rainbow breathed. "But I can't stop kissing you."

"But you have to… stop so you can… go to work…" Derpy gasped, her eyes starting to twitch with pleasure.

"I don't see you trying to get away," Rainbow taunted.

"I can't stop either," Derpy admitted. She raised her head up and gave Rainbow one more kiss. "But we have to. I guess I'm gonna have to be the strong one." Gently but firmly, she pushed Rainbow away.

"Ooooh, you are one strong, confident young mare, aren't you?" Rainbow said delightedly. "That's very attractive."

She leaned in, but Derpy held her back, giggling. "Nooooo, Rainbow Dash. No more kissing. Breakfast, then work."

Rainbow huffed for a moment, then whined, "I don't wanna go to woooork!"

Derpy laughed hysterically. "Oh, Rainbow. Yesterday was as hard for you as it was for me, wasn't it? Going back to everyday life after… what we've gotten used to…" She began to lean forward with her lips parted, but quickly restrained herself. "It's been great spending days on end in bed with you, but now we have to go outside so we can have a life together." She kissed Rainbow's forehead, then extricated herself from her embrace and the bed and flew out of the room, making her way to the kitchen.

Rainbow simply sat there in awe. "I'll say it again, you are so out of my league," she muttered. "Like I deserve somepony who's willing to better herself just to be able to deal with me… that's just crazy." She sighed. "I love Derpy so much."

She looked around at her empty bedroom. "So, what, I say that even when I'm alone now?" she remarked. "I better get that looked at…" She hastily fluttered out to join Derpy.

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Endnotes

When I was a kid, my mother always used to tell me that the most vital tool in a writer's arsenal is life experience. And it's true. If you write about something that you, personally, have never experienced, you run the risk of betraying that inexperience and looking like a fool. When I look back at stories I wrote before RFE ever began, the understanding I had then of romance and sex and even friendship was terribly flawed. And because of that, I now consider all those fics to be dreadful stories that I'd hate for anyone to find out were written by me, know what I mean?

I was similarly inexperienced during the writing of Parts One and Two, but things changed during that time. When I composed Part Three, I was finally able to implement some life experience: a lot of Rainbow and Derpy's relationship—not their story arc or their respective pasts, but simply their dynamic and their interactions—is patterned on my relationship with Naty. Odd choice, but it was the only major relationship that hadn't established a dynamic yet. Plus, I'm enough of a girl that Naty and I might as well be lesbians anyway.

Anyway, there's more to the good news than just the fact that I have a relationship upon which I can draw details for the story's future. Despite the new experiences I've gained… I am not embarrassed by Parts One and Two. Considering how I feel about most of my other work, I feel pretty lucky to be feeling that way. For all I knew, the early Twilight/Joe material was a completely asinine and unbelievable portrayal of a long-distance relationship, but now that I've had one, it seems to hold up pretty well.

Of course, a lot of Part Three was already pieced together before I had my big experience: going overseas and having an in-person relationship with Naty. But, peering forward into the story's future, well, same thing as its past: it still satisfies me. Even though I could change aspects of the story's future since they're not written yet, I don't feel the need. Somehow, I hit the nail on the head without firsthand knowledge. And it feels good to not feel naïve for a change.

Sure, I made a few mild additions based on what happened in Sweden. Like, Rainbow's remark about two virgins together being kind of a disaster. It's true. Don't worry, though: I also lifted Derpy's gushing about Rainbow being a great lover from Naty's similar gushing about me. So, needless to say, we figured it out. She wasn't surprised that I had no prior experience, she knew that, but the compliments themselves are pretty accurate to what she said. Yes, the question of whether I'm an alien or a god did come up. Heh heh.

On a sadder note… at the same time as I was figuring out sex, I gained another major life experience that's featured in this story… I lost my grandmother. It was completely unexpected and truly devastating, especially to happen in the middle of my life-changing European vacation. I had no way to go home in time to say the proper goodbye that everyone else was getting back in the US… it's been rough for me. It's been months and I still haven't processed it properly, which makes me feel like I never will. I just want to feel a mote of emotion about this loss, and… and I can't.

But I got some closure by going back and rereading all the material in this story concerned with Granny Smith's death, and… it still felt real to me. It's certainly different from the way I'm coping, but it still feels real.

Bottom line to my meandering and repetition is this: I feel extremely fortunate to be looking over RFE and still seeing it as my magnum opus. There are so many stories I've written that I once treasured but now view as trash. So I feel beyond delighted that I still have it in me to celebrate this for what it is, instead of hating it for what life has taught me since I wrote it. Romance and the Fate of Equestria was, for a long period of time, my lady, and to a certain extent that's still what she is. So thank you, RFE, for always being there for me.

What? No, not you, ya stinkin' readers, I'm talking to the story. Buzz off, ya bunch of leeches.

Ah, no, I think we've established by now that I love the readers. That hasn't changed. A lot of things have changed, but this story and my love for it haven't at all. It's just an amazing feeling for me, as someone who's always looked into the past with distaste and even hate, to look back on the early days of the story and actually feel more love for it than I did at the beginning. I… I don't know what I'm basically expressing here. Maybe… just that for the first time in many, many, many years, I'm able to look at myself and be happy with what I'm seeing, at least most of the time. That's new. That's new and strange and frightening, and… well, I like it, I guess. Just had to express that.