Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Hi, folks! Back from Sweden.

Do you recall the anecdote I shared in Chapter 9? The one where my mom told me that a woman would leave me if she found out that I wrote My Little Pony fanfiction. At the time, I thought she was wrong, because I was becoming aware of how omnipresent the pony fandom was, but after a while I started to think she was right. Bronies are really hard to find outside of the Internet. The fandom I thought would get me out of my shell of seclusion only drove me further into it. (You know who else is hard to find in the real world? Muppet fans. Heck, forget fans, I'll settle for finding someone who doesn't hate the Muppets… but that's neither here nor there.)

I met Naty in the chat room that Mere set up. She knew I wrote MLP fic, because at the time, that was literally the only thing about me worth knowing. And yet, she fell for me. And on December 21, 2013, drunk on eggnog, I said "Naty, will you be my girlfriend?" Less than an hour later, she said it was the happiest day of her life and that she would love me forever. Which was completely crazy, but heck, that's what I'd been hoping for. She just said what I wasn't bold enough to.

So, I just spent a month with her in Sweden, and one week from now is our one-year anniversary as a couple. To think, me, the guy who hasn't had a friend since childhood, who's inches away from archiving a million words of fanfiction at an age when most people have outgrown the notion, who still can't comprehend the idea of having a social group… I've got a life. A job. Friends. A girlfriend. Sometimes it just doesn't seem real. Keep hope alive, bronies!

What I'm saying, basically, is that my mom can eat it. (What? It's not like she's ever going to read this.) She probably doesn't even remember that remark that's lingered with me for almost two years, but she can stick it right in her face and eat it. The, ah, remark, that is, not her entire life or anything like that. She's still my mother, and a damn good one. On another note, I am indeed very close to hitting a million words, culmination of my six years on fanfiction; I'll let you know when I get there.

Chapter One Hundred and Nineteen

Cadance and Shining Armor fell flat onto their backs under their blankets, gasping and breathing heavily.

"Oh my goodness," Cadance sighed in admiration. "That's one way to say good morning." She laughed out loud. "Where did that come from?"

"Oh, I don't know," he replied, rolling onto his side and facing her. "Just… love you, I guess."

Cadance smirked at him coyly. "Shining Armor, are you trying to make a baby?"

"…Maybe," he replied slyly. "Maybe I am."

"Well, not yet, all right?" said Cadance, giving him a small kiss. "Let's get my whole 'current holder of the throne' thing secured before we get to work on an heir."

He nodded.

"Good. Off to work then! Thanks for waking me up."

"Any time," he chuckled.

A few minutes later, they left their personal chambers together, still giggling at each other, and froze as soon as they got into the hallway. "What the…" Shining Armor exclaimed. There were eight royal guards, clad in their full golden armor, flanking the door, facing outward with stern, unmoving faces.

"What is this?" Shining Armor muttered.

"What's going on?" Cadance exclaimed.

"We apologize for our failure to take the initiative sooner, Princess," one of the guards said calmly. "As the acting ruler of Equestria, it is only proper that you should be under heavier guard than usual."

"Oh," Cadance said with realization. "I suppose I should have expected that. All right, not a big deal. Thank you, sirs."

Shining Armor still looked concerned, and his darted around at all of the guards. "How long have all of you been out here?"

"All night, Your Highness."

"How much did you hear?" he said uneasily.

"Um…" The guard seemed to be attempting to stifle a laugh, then miraculously succeeded and resumed his stone-faced formality. "Pretty much everything, sir."

Shining Armor stared into space, mortified. Cadance gently put a hoof on the back of his neck and helped him proceed through the hallways, the eight guards escorting them along.

"Come on, Shining Armor, don't be so embarrassed," Cadance said brightly. "The men should know that they're being led by a truly powerful stallion, and if they didn't know that before, they sure so now."

He stared at her incredulously. "You're not even the slightest bit embarrassed?"

"Not at all!" she said brightly. To a guard, she said, "Impressive, wasn't it? I'm not usually a screamer, but this morning, your captain, he was just, he… he, um… uh…"

The guards eyed her, expressionless.

"Gosh, I really should have thought of an end to that sentence before I started it," she mumbled. "Okay, now I'm embarrassed."

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In the throne room, Blueblood was waiting right at the entrance, stepping forward as soon as the doors were opened so his glaring face was mere inches away from Cadance's.

"Oh hey, little cousin!" Cadance said delightedly. "Deciding to take an active role in affairs of state?"

"In a sense," Blueblood said coldly. "This throne is rightfully mine, so I might as well keep an eye on you and make sure you're doing it properly. Bringing honor and dignity to our bloodline and the crown."

Cadance giggled. "Oh, Blueblood, if you're worried about our family being disgraced, you have nothing to worry about. You're far too late for that." She laughed wildly and walked past Blueblood, nodding appreciatively to the royal aide, a pale-furred and dark-maned unicorn mare.

"Your humor does not amuse me," Blueblood retorted. "And don't call me 'little cousin'! I'm the older one! You're my little cousin!"

Cadance turned back to him with mocking, wide-eyed surprise. "Really? You're older than me?" Her face suddenly turned serious, and her tone dark. "Act like it, then."

With that, she marched up the red carpet all the way to the throne, and stood there quietly, contemplatively. Blueblood remained very close to her, and Shining Armor dutifully flanked her on the other side.

"All right," she breathed. "Let's take a seat. …And by 'let's', I guess I mean 'let me'…" She slowly turned around and, reluctantly, sat down. "I am… still not used to this," she chuckled.

"You look a lot better than you did the first time," Shining Armor told her promptly. "Stronger, more confident."

"Why, thank you," said Cadance, beaming at her husband as the royal guards took their places around the throne. "So, Raven, what's on the agenda today?"

The bespectacled mare started to answer, but was cut off when a guitar riff rang out, seemingly coming from every direction at once, amplified enough to make the windows rattle.

The throne room doors burst open, and a cloud of black smoke started spilling in. Raven and the guards immediately passed out and collapsed to the ground. Three black tentacles burst out of the smoke and grabbed Cadance, Shining Armor, and Blueblood around their ankles, pulling them into the cloud and then out the other side, back into the castle corridor.

Every statue and bust in the hallway slowly turned black, their faces developing burning red eyes and exposed, needle-sharp teeth.

The black smoke jumped over the heads of the three royals, then menacingly ushered them back into the throne room, whose windows had gone black, leaving the great hall bathed in darkness, apart from the multicolored reflections dancing off a disco ball now hanging from the ceiling, while the pounding music continued to ring out. The unconscious guards and Raven were gone.

The throne room doors slammed shut behind the three of them. Instantly, the music stopped, the disco ball vanished, and the windows once again let light in. The throne room was back to normal, apart from Annihilara, slouching casually on the throne.

"You know," she said conversationally, "fifty years ago, a record producer told a very influential insect-themed musical group that guitar music was dead. You believe that noise? How wrong was that guy? The guitar lives stronger than ever, and yet, it's also part of my domain, mwa-ha-ha." She raised her front hooves and played an impressive and deafening guitar riff on absolutely nothing. "Best of both worlds."

"Um… uh… wha…?" Cadance stammered.

"Don't look at me like that, cousin," Annihilara laughed. "You invited me."

"Um…" Cadance shook her head rapidly to clear her mind. "Yes. Of course I did… Princess Annihilara, I assume?"

Annihilara nodded slowly.

"I apologize," Cadance said formally, stepping forward slightly. "I've seen your picture, but it doesn't at all prepare for the reality."

"I'm sure it doesn't," Annihilara agreed. "I'm not the black sheep of the family so much as I am the huge, terrifying undead monster of the family." She extended a hoof, which stretched all the way across the room to Cadance. "Princess Annihilara. Goddess of death, suicide, paranoia, low self-esteem… and tropical fruits."

Cadance giggled and accepted the hoofshake. "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, they call me Cadance. It's an honor to meet you, cousin."

"You as well," said Annihilara. "And hey, you learned to pronounce my name correctly since you read out that message. Kudos." Her upper body stretched across the room, coming face to face with Shining Armor, while her hindquarters remained in the throne. "You must be Shining Armor. Twilight Sparkle's brother?"

"Ah, yes… Princess?" Shining Armor said uncertainly.

Annihilara hummed in amusement. "No need for 'Princess'. As far as formal titles go, just 'cousin' will do. Welcome to the family."

Shining Armor tentatively shook her hoof. "Where are the guards? And our aide?"

"Safe and in good health. I just hoped to have a private conversation." Her hind legs stood up and walked their way over to the rest of the group until her body was once again a normal shape. "I'm here to… try to honor the request that Celestia and Luna made of me."

"Well, I'm fully prepared to step down for you," Cadance said brightly.

"That's not what I'm after," Annihilara whispered.

"Sorry?"

"I can't be expected to just all of a sudden be put in charge. I didn't have a royal upbringing, with all its training and education, the way you d—is he okay?"

Blueblood was wide-eyed and shivering as he stared at Annihilara, his teeth chattering loudly.

"He's been better, I suppose," said Cadance, looking him over. "But… go on, what were you saying?"

"Mmm," said Annihilara, nodding. "I was saying that you have some idea about how to run the land. I don't. At the same time, I want to make my cousins proud. I want to show them that I respect their decisions and am willing to fulfill my obligations to the family and the kingdom."

"How do you propose we proceed, then?" Cadance said amiably.

"The true princesses wanted me on the throne… so that's what I'll do," said Annihilara, holding her head high. "But not alone. I propose we split the burden between the four of us. Make decisions together. Support each other, so the weight of the crown isn't quite as heavy."

Blueblood looked around in confusion. "Wait, me too?"

"Why not you?"

"Um…" Cadance chuckled.

"Ah," said Annihilara, nodding. "I can see from the look in Cadance's eyes that I'll soon find out why not you, but… I want all perspectives considered. Politics would just be dull without some internal conflict. When it comes to what's best for Equestria, all three of you know better than I do."

Cadance bowed. "I would be honored to support you, cousin."

"Me too," said Shining Armor, saluting.

Blueblood glanced around tentatively. "Erm… yes. I am happy to contribute."

"Good," Annihilara said brightly. She gently drifted over to a window, skimming across the floor without moving her legs, and stared out at the city. "Another thing. I don't think the public is ready to see… this face ruling them." She turned to the others and half-opened her mouth, the closest she could get to a wry smile. "However pure my intentions may be, the way I look does not invite trust or friendship. I think it would be better if Equestria's citizens were left to believe that the mysterious Princess Annihilara never answered your call… if they continued to believe that you, Cadance, are in charge."

Cadance tilted her head. "So… you're saying that you're going to take on the role of monarch of Equestria, but you want me to be your big decision-maker… and your figurehead?"

"Something like that," Annihilara muttered.

"I have to admit, your arrival doesn't take as much pressure off of me as I thought it would, cousin," Cadance said dryly.

"Maybe not, but I will be here for you. Behind your throne, or in your shadow… Sharing the load. Accepting my responsibilities."

Cadance dipped her head respectfully, then looked around at the others. "Well, I for one think this is the best we can hope for, considering how unprepared we all were for this venture. But I accept your suggestion for how we should run things. Together, as a family."

"Good." Annihilara tentatively approached Cadance. Black smoke seeped out of the ground and gave Cadance a gentle hug; after a moment, Annihilara melded her body with the smoke and nuzzled Cadance's face. Cadance responded with a huge smile and hugged her back, then yelped in surprise as Annihilara lifted her up and floated her across the room, setting Cadance down in the throne. The eight guards and Raven reappeared where they had fallen, and they slowly began to return to consciousness.

Annihilara disappeared into the floor, then wound her body like ivy around the throne, her head appearing at the top. "This is gonna be so metal."

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Endnotes

So, the thing about Annihilara being eight times as powerful as all the other goddesses put together, I've been forced to admit that's probably an exaggeration—by necessity, because if it was true, I'd have no story. Annihilara would just do everything. So, I'm putting it on record that my previous comment about her level of power wasn't entirely accurate. I'm not going to tell you exactly who would win in a fight, 'cause there's gotta be some tension in the story and hey, even I don't exactly know for sure.

As a general sorting algorithm: any Old God is greater than Mitgaeard, is greater than Annihilara, is greater than any (but not necessarily all) of the other goddesses. But of course, power levels should never be taken to mean an automatic win. Anyone can be defeated by anyone else under the right circumstances. When it comes to "weight"—that is to say, the ability one's superpowers have to influence the world—they're all about the same.