Romance and the Fate of Equestria

He's a pre-note I wanted to do last time we saw the Crusaders, but I forgot, so I'll put it here instead. See, I've been trying to make the Crusaders' school lives something that we, as modern young people, can relate to, but I've started to feel like I also need to be consistent with the show's depiction of the school: seemingly, a one-room schoolhouse.

So, in my mind, in the reality I've been creating for the past two years, the schoolhouse isn't as small as it looks, it's actually a full-sized junior high school that the Crusaders have been attending since Season 1. As Cheerilee has mentioned, she's been their teacher all their lives, because she's chosen to go up a grade every year along with her students. Next year—and there will be a next year, despite how slowly time passes in the story—the Crusaders will be in high school, and move on to a bigger building, Cheerilee along with them.

So, a mix of a modern school we can relate to and an old-timey one, though really the only aspect of the old-timey school would appear to be an unintentional one: the way Cheerilee was able to violently manhandle her students with no legal repercussions. Hey, I thought that was an awesome moment, and legal entanglement would have killed it.

Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen

Sweetie Belle, in a glittering golden dress, slipped into a private dressing room and leaned against the wall, breathing heavily with excitement, an uncontrolled grin on her face.

"Okay," she said breathlessly. "Moment of truth."

She slowly pulled off the dress with a combination of magic and eager wriggling, and checked her flank in the mirror. It was still blank.

"Dang it," she growled. "Dang it, dang it, dang it!" She stomped on the dress furiously, kicking it against the wall.

There was a knock on the dressing room door, and Apple Bloom entered without waiting for a reply. "Hey," she said. "Nothin', huh?"

"No," Sweetie grumbled. "It went well though, right?" She cast Apple Bloom a pleading look.

"Yeah!" Apple Bloom said instantly. "Yeah, Sweetie. Great play. Come here, let's go out into the lobby where you can meet a whole lot of ponies who are ready to tell you how great it was."

Sweetie Belle smiled lightly. "You know, I did feel pretty good up there. Let's do it."

As they walked down a hallway, Apple Bloom's heavy-lidded eyes surveyed Sweetie Belle's optimistic expression. "Can't help but notice you kept a lot of the ideas Crazyface gave ya," she said.

"Yeah," said Sweetie absently. "I mean, they were good ideas." Her head snapped toward Apple Bloom. "That doesn't bother you, does it? For me to take his suggestions, after what he did? I'm so sorry…"

"No, it's fine," Apple Bloom said hastily. "He may have been a psycho, but he knew how to put on a great show. You did the right thing." She sighed. "I'll admit that a lot of stuff reminds me of him… every time I see somethin' with a sharp edge, or anything gets close to my neck, I see Granny's death flashin' in front of my eyes. And whenever I see a couple where the stallion is bigger than the mare… which is pretty much, you know, every couple… it just up and makes my skin crawl."

"That's awful," Sweetie Belle said in anguish. "Have you been seeing a therapist?"

"Nah, just Twilight," Apple Bloom said casually. "But she was a bit too into… helpin' me. She thought I was a lot more damaged than I actually was; she focused too much on him tryin' to touch me when my real scars came from watchin' Granny die. All I really needed was for somepony to listen to that and understand. Big Mac's good at that. It scarred him pretty bad too. And especially since he got back together with Fluttershy, I've been talkin' to both of 'em, and it went a long way toward fixin' me up." She nodded contentedly. "So yeah, a lot of stuff makes me think about Crazyface, but your play wasn't one of those things. Don't feel bad about it."

Cheerilee met them in the hall, dressed in a lacy white dress and with a horn and wings painted to match her coat. "Sweetie, everypony out there really wants to see you," she said gleefully. "This play was brilliant, absolutely brilliant, and it's all thanks to you. Why, I wouldn't be at all surprised to see…" She eagerly glanced at Sweetie Belle's flank, and her face fell. "Oh. Huh. I don't understand it. I just don't understand it…"

"I guess it's just not my time yet," Sweetie Belle sighed. "Kind of had a temper tantrum in my dressing room, but I'm okay with it now. Don't worry about it, Miss Cheerilee, we're just gonna make tomorrow night's performance even bigger and grander, and see if that makes any difference. And if not… I know what I am. I'm a singer. I'm going in the right direction, I can just feel it."

Cheerilee beamed. "That feels good, doesn't it?"

"Uh-huh," Sweetie Belle peeped.

"Well, I think I'll go out there and mingle with the fans myself," said Cheerilee, folding up her wings at her side.

"You're not gonna take off your Mecha first?" Apple Bloom demanded.

"Oops," Cheerilee giggled. "Of course… oh, can't I keep them guessing for a little while longer? Wouldn't it be funny to see them trying to figure out how I have such amazing fake wings?"

"We'd really rather not let anypony get a good look at it," Apple Bloom said apologetically.

"All right, girls," Cheerilee said amicably. "I'll change out of my costume first, then go mingle. If I don't see you in the lobby, I'll see you tomorrow evening. Happy New Year, by the way!"

"Thanks," said Sweetie Belle. "You too!"

Cheerilee retired to the dressing rooms, while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle continued making their way to the door at the end of the hall. Sweetie Belle took a big deep breath, then let it out in a massive sigh that took twice as long as the inhalation had, before marching purposefully through the door and down a flight of spiral stairs that led to the magnificent lobby, a room coated almost entirely in red velvet and golden tassels. When she was noticed, she was greeted almost immediately by applause and cheers, and the flashbulbs of numerous cameras.

To her surprise, she was swept through the crowd, shaking hooves with various ponies she didn't even know. She barely even had to walk independently for several minutes, being shuffled as she was from one pony to another. At last, she had some space to breathe, and the rest of the crowd was returning to their own conversations and watching her from a distance—all but a single pony, who leapt out of the crowd and wrapped an arm around Sweetie Belle's shoulders.

"Ahhh yeah!" DJ P0n-3 cried out. "There's our director! The adorable li'l featrical wunderkind everypony's been talkin' about! You got better pipes on ya than the plumbin' on a potato farm, tha's wha' you got!"

"Um… what?" Sweetie Belle said slowly.

"You sing, you direct, you've put on the bes' performance o' this play I've ever seen," DJ P0n-3 marvelled. "'Course, the only uvver time I've seen this play was at junior feater camp—ugh—but, you know, tha' doesn't lessen what you got right 'ere. So, Sweetie, who ya bangin'?" She grinned expectantly.

"Um… I'm…" Sweetie stammered. "Uh, nopony. I'm thirteen. I don't plan on doing any 'banging' now or in the near future…"

"Ah, you're a 'good girl' on top of everyfing else, tha's nice and peachy," DJ P0n-3 laughed. "Good for you. I'll tell ya, when I was firteen, if I was the star o' the play, I'd've 'ad to ride my co-star in the dressin' room before every performance just to ease my stage fright. Can't say I blame you for not doin' tha', though, considering wha' you've got to work wiv. Why'd you even cast that spindly li'l cutter or whatever 'e is? Not exactly an 'eartfrob, tha' one."

"He's my ex-boyfriend," Sweetie Belle huffed.

"Well, I can see why you left 'im!" P0n-3 declared without missing a beat. "If 'e kisses like he acts and sings, you probably 'ad to open your eyes to make sure 'e was still there! Hones'ly, wiv all the great decisions you made in this play—your Azalea, an erff pony, so you could show off your super-secret special effects? Stroke of brilliance, that. They'll be talkin' about it for years, wonderin' 'ow you pulled it off—but tha' all jus' makes your one bad decision, your roman'ic lead, all tha' much more bafflin'. In fact, wiv all your innovations, I wouldn've been at all surprised if you'd done somefing crazy like making your Prince Coináge, I dunno, a dragon. Whyn't you try tha' nex' time?"

"…WHAT?" Sweetie Belle demanded.

"You 'eard me. Get yourself a dragon, li'l missy." The DJ lifted her shades up to her forehead and winked at Sweetie Belle. "Nice talkin' wiv you, I've got places to be and ponies to do, ahhh yeah, but I will be back 'ere tomorrow night to see if you can pull this off again. Break a leg!" She removed her shades again, this time sliding them down the bridge of her nose and peering over them. "I've made it a point to keep an eye on you. Toodle-oo."

She zipped off, leaving Sweetie Belle more or less alone and completely dumbfounded. She heard a chuckle over her shoulder and quickly whirled; Spike was standing there, shuffling his feet with embarrassment.

"Spike!" she exclaimed. "Spike, what the hell just happened?"

Spike raised his hands defensively. "I didn't ask her to say any of that!"

"I didn't say you did," Sweetie Belle countered, eyeballing him.

"Well, I really didn't, that was crazy," Spike laughed.

She scowled at him.

"I mean, I do kind of know where it came from," Spike admitted. "Remember when she and I commentated at the Running of the Leaves?"

"Of course I do," said Sweetie Belle. "You made a pretty big point out of becoming someone else just for me. It was almost flattering… almost."

"Well, she and I got to talking after that," said Spike. "I told her more about you, and ever since then, she kind of ships us."

Sweetie tilted her head. "She what?"

"Ships us."

She blinked. "What does that mean?"

"It means she…" Spike trailed off, and frowned thoughtfully. "You don't know what 'ship' means?"

"I know what it usually means," she said, blushing. "I've never heard it in that context. What does it mean?"

"Well, it… I don't know, I've never had to explain it before. I've never met anypony who didn't know what it means… well, anyway, she really did like the play. And so did I."

"Thanks, Spike," Sweetie muttered.

"And she may have made fun of Featherweight, but you did manage to whip him into shape," Spike added. "He was actually pretty good, so nice work directing him."

"I can't take all the credit," said Sweetie. "Diamond Tiara broke up with him just before the show started. So I guess that helped him emote. Often. And loudly."

"Oh," Spike said thoughtfully. "Well, that explains why he was weeping through the whole thing instead of just the sad parts."

"Yeah, but it worked out. We passed it off as an interesting portrayal."

Spike smiled and shuffled his feet. "So, are we… friends again?"

Sweetie Belle sighed. "Of course we're friends, Spike. We'd be better friends if you'd stayed away from me when I'd asked you to. That would have been the right thing for a friend to do. But yes."

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"You can quit apologizing," she said, turning away in embarrassment. "I understand, and it's okay."

"Your play was great, Sweetie Belle, it really, really was," he said. "Probably the best play I've ever seen."

"Really?" she said in surprise. "Weren't you in a Canterlot pageant?"

"Yes, but that's not one of the plays I've seen, that's a play I was in," he explained.

"So it was better than mine?" she challenged.

"Well, yeah, I mean, come on, it was a Canterlot pageant."

Sweetie Belle laughed, then came up to Spike and gave him a sideways hug, before bobbing happily off into the crowd.

"Adiós, mi corazón," Spike said softly. He turned to Scootaloo, who was approaching him from the side. "What do you think, would you say that was gratuitous?"

"No, but that's probably because I don't know what that word means," said Scootaloo. She hugged him as well; unlike Sweetie Belle, she was taller than him. "How are you doing, Spike?"

"Good," he said absently.

"I'm glad she can, you know, talk to you again," Scootaloo said brightly. "It was great to see you hugging and stuff. I just wish she'd admit how awesome you are." She stepped back and looked Spike over. "Spike, I want to help you," she said decisively.

"Help me do what?"

"Help you get Sweetie Belle to like you so you can finally start dating her!" Scootaloo laughed. "I've been shipping you guys for months."

"Ah, there it is, 'shipping', I knew I wasn't the only one who knew that term," Spike said in relief.

"I know stuff," Scootaloo said modestly. "So, tell me how you feel about Sweetie Belle, how much you want to be with her. Would you say you're in love with her?"

Spike shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know if I'm old enough, or ready to know what love is," he said. "But I think so."

"But you'd do just about anything for her, right?" Scootaloo pressed.

"Yeah," said Spike. "I want to be the right guy for her. To be good enough… for her. And I'd do anything to be that guy."

"Exactly," Scootaloo said triumphantly. "Would you conquer mountains and tame seas for her?"

"Sure."

"Would you fight for her? Would you make big heroic sacrifices?"

"Absolutely."

"Would you do something so unspeakably evil and vile that a thousand lifetimes of sainthood wouldn't even come close to removing the taint of the deed from your soul?" Scootaloo said dramatically, leaning toward him with wide eyes.

"…Probably not," he said nervously.

"All right, just checking to see where you draw the line," she said casually. "It helps to know these things."

"Ooookay," he said in amusement. "Do you have a plan or something?"

"I do," she said with a big grin. "A wicked, bad, naughty, eeeevil plan, but one that'll be all worth it. This is gonna sound crazy, you're probably not gonna like it, but Spike… how would you like to go steady… with me?"

He recoiled in alarm. "What?"

"Hear me out," she said hastily, putting a hoof on his shoulder. "When Featherweight left her for Diamond Tiara, something inside Sweetie Belle snapped. She became like a totally different pony, and that pony was ugly. You know, on the inside. And, well… she learned her lesson, but the damage has been done: she's proven that she's susceptible to jealousy." She wrapped her arm further around Spike's shoulder's and stroked his chest with her other hoof. "I think if we can bring that out again… you and me, getting seen in public, snuggling, kissing, maybe rumors and gossip start to fly that we're together, maybe she sees it happening herself… her true feelings for you would claw their way out to the surface until she was forced to admit them. Then we tell her, surprise! It was all a scheme! She can really have you!" She stepped back from Spike and spread her arms, smiling at him expectantly.

"You really think so?" he said uncertainly.

"I guarantee it," she replied, still smiling.

He slouched as he considered it carefully. "Why are you doing this, Scootaloo? What's in it for you? Why do you care so much?"

"It's a long story," said Scootaloo.

"I'd kind of like to know the whole thing," he insisted.

"All right," she submitted. "Here it is: I've had a monster crush on you since you moved to Ponyville. Now don't get me wrong, it was just a crush. Because you were cute and funny and different from all the boys I knew—a lot different—but it was just little kid stuff, nothing profound, until… until I saw you dancing with Sweetie Belle at the wedding, and then after that, chatting her up at Sugarcube Corner. That's when I fell in love. But not with you. Not with you. With you… and her… together. I really liked that idea. I… I'd give up just about anything if I could see that."

She sighed and lowered her head, seeming exhausted from letting all of that out, before lifting her head and continuing. "So, that's most of what I get out of it. Although, if I can put all my cards on the table, I do still kind of like you, so there are other advantages for me. Macking on you in public where everypony can see. Having rumors flying around that we're dating. It'd be fun." She winked at him. He smiled back and motioned for her to keep going.

"All right," she said. "Well, I really want to learn how to kiss before I get to high school. I feel like I'm ready to start dating, but all the ponies in my grade are just… animals. So I'm gonna wait until high school and see if maybe there's better pickings there, but… well, I may not like any of the guys I know, but I'm not a freaking nun either, I'd like to get some practice."

"There's really nopony else you know that you'd like to practice with?" he asked, intrigued.

"Nah," she said dismissively. "You may not know this, but I've kind of become the most popular filly in my grade… which is cool and all… but I can tell it's only because I'm thin and leggy and my wings are as sturdy and shapely as a mare twice my age. Like that's some big achievement. Of course I'm skinny, I'm going through a growth spurt. I don't wanna have to pick out a boyfriend from the crowd that made me popular just because of that. Bottom line, if I'm gonna learn how to make out, I'd rather it was with somepony I actually respect, and who respects me."

Spike examined her budding wings, which she had spread at her sides. "You do have nice wings," he commented.

"I'm over here," she said tersely, clamping her wings shut and pointing to her face.

"Sorry," he said hastily. "Um… okay, well, I'm liking this plan. If it's to get me with Sweetie Belle, if you really think it'll work, then sure. Let's make her jealous!"

Scootaloo nodded and fluttered over to a wall, where she sat down with her back against it. He joined her there, relaxed and smiling, his hands clasped together on his lap.

"I do have one condition, if we're gonna go through with this," said Scootaloo. "Sort of… to pay me back for coming up with it?"

"Go ahead," he encouraged.

"Sometime… I don't know when, but sometime before you finally wind up with Sweetie Belle, I want to have some alone time with you, where nopony can see us, where we can make out just a little bit in private. The rest of our relationship will just be, you know, for the benefit of our audience, but I would like that one thing that feels real."

Spike considered it, then shrugged. "I can do that, I guess."

"And then you go straight to Sweetie Belle," she said hurriedly. "I promise that's what I really want from this whole thing: you with Sweetie Belle."

"I believe you," he said soothingly. "Like you said, you've put all your cards on the table, you've bared way too much of your soul for me to think you have a hidden agenda."

"So, do we have a deal?" Scootaloo said with a small smile.

"Yeah." They shook on it, their smiles slowly broadening, before they broke out laughing and pounded each other heartily on the back.

"So… let's see," said Scootaloo, scanning the lobby. "There's still some ponies around, I think there are a few who know me… Why don't we start right now?"

"Okay," said Spike. He held her hoof romantically, and she slowly leaned in for a kiss. "Agh, I don't know!" he said, flinching away. "I… I kind of wanted my first real kiss to be with Sweetie Belle."

"Oh, I understand completely!" she assured him. "I've always wanted a special first kiss too. But, um… I actually mentioned that very thing to Rainbow Dash recently, and she told me that nopony remembers who their first kiss was. It's something that fades away just like the rest of your past. It's your last kiss, the pony you're with right now, who really matters."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Rainbow Dash said that?"

"I know, right? Doesn't really sound like her, does it? Wise advice isn't usually her thing, but I kind of get what she means. It's just like all the hard work we've been doing to get our cutie marks. You can kiss me for a little while if it means you get to kiss Sweetie Belle forever, right?" She made an attempt to bat her eyelashes at him.

He grinned. "Well, it certainly wouldn't be the worst thing. But here, let's go out a bit, to where more ponies can see us…"

"Hell yeah!" said Scootaloo, pumping her hoof. They made their way to the foot of the spiral staircase and sat down on the bottom step, wrapping their arms around each other.

They closed their eyes, and Spike tentatively leaned in and gave Scootaloo a quick peck on the lips. They both opened their eyes again and smiled at each other, and they kissed again, holding it a little bit longer this time.

Across the room, Apple Bloom had a direct line of sight to them through the dwindling crowd. She stared in shock, trying to comprehend what she was seeing. "…What the huh?" she demanded.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Endnotes

Incidentally, the cast and crew of the play going into a lobby to mingle with the play's audience was inspired by my own experience acting in plays for three summers, not by Sweetie Belle's doing so in Season 4. Though you probably don't think that, you probably know that that's just what happens after any amateur theater production. I guess I've just become paranoid after one too many freaky coincidences.