TCB: A Kinder World

09 - Heart of Hearts

Iron sentinels stood guard around the building. It was low, wide and sat where once a tall apartment block had once stood; built to order, care of the machines that now sat outside it, optical sensors ever watchful for intruders.

A loud crack echoed around the buildings, and with a soft smash, one construction bot suddenly went blind as something small and metal took out it’s one optical sensor.

[Error! Error! Requesting repair and assistance!] the machine shouted. [Optics lost!]

With a whine of servos and stump of hydraulics, construction and other bots assigned to watch the perimeter all followed the distress signals, abandoning posts to cover for the disabled robot, in case it was a trick by some undetected intruder to sneak past the blind robot.

They were completely right. It was a trick, but not the one they thought. A hasty scrape of concrete echoed through the air, and a construction mech paused mid-stride, turning around. An optical sensor scanned the pavement in front of the slightly recessed entrance the mech had been guarding, and found nothing.

The mech dismissed it as a audial glitch, and turned around once more lumbering to support it’s blinded brethren.

Pressed up against the wall in the recessed doorway, Carpenter carefully let out a breath, cursing his twisted ankle silently, and clutching his rifle to his side as he tentatively reached out and pushed down on the door handle of the door. With a soft snick, the door opened, and he pulled himself inside.

+==[~~~]==+

A soft series of pings reached Ma’s ears. Well, that wasn’t quite accurate - they reached her brain and hit her audio-processing center, thanks to the implanted neural network module. Regardless how she heard it, she frowned just the same; in irritation.

She’d lost the hat, gloves and apron, but had picked up a small purse, which rode on her shoulder quite easily. A faint breeze through the inner courtyard stirred at the loose parts of her clothing, but otherwise, all was silent and still, under a bright, blue sky - a picturesque courtyard with pillars all around.

“Our filthy little equines have a friend out there,” Ma muttered to Palladion. “Go out and look for them, and make them dead. I’ve no time for sneaks, human or otherwise.”

Palladion nodded grudgingly. [Yes, Ma.]

“And watch that attitude, mister,” the little old lady that controlled the city said, sternly. “Put a little enthusiasm into it.”

Palladion twitched, and gleeped. [Yee-haw, Ma!]

“That’s better.” Ma turned away, and pointed at a mech on the other side of the courtyard. “Hey, hurry up with that stage, you two!”

Thus dismissed, Palladion walked with forced enthusiasm towards the nearest exit, past the post where Twilight and Fluttershy were tied up.

[I am so sorry,] Palladion said.

“Don’t be sorry,” Twilight said slowly, holding up the manacles binding her, and glancing at her own horn, where another magical limiter was clamped. “Just get us out!”

[I can’t do that!] Palladion said. [She’s told us all that by no means are you two to be released until she says otherwise!]

“What have you become, Palladion?” Fluttershy asked, quietly. “Are you still the Cowboy who promised to protect his friends?”

[I am Palladion!] Palladion answered promptly. [I... I am still that Cowboy who promised to protect his friends! It’s just that... I can’t keep that promise! A Law overrides a Promise!]

Fluttershy looked at Palladion sadly. “A real cowboy would keep his word, no matter what.”

There was a tense silence for a moment, before Palladion was compelled to keep walking. [I am sorry!] he cried, walking towards the door. [I’m so sorry!]

“Fluttershy,” Twilight muttered. “That was... unkind. Are you alright?”

“It had to be done,” Fluttershy said, resolute. “If we’re to get out of this alive, and take that message to Equestria, we need Palladion now, more than ever. If there’s even a single bit of him that is free of Ma, we need him now. And sometimes,” Fluttershy said grimly, “Asking pretty-please isn’t enough.”

+==[~~~]==+

There was movement in the darkness.

“Light!” a voice cried. “Thank Celestia!”

The sounds of hooves and running steps filled the air, and shielding their eyes however they could, Richard, Rainbow Dash, Lyra and Trixie emerged from the darkness of the tunnel, and into a clearing bordered by trees before them, and the foot of a mountain behind them.

The grimy ponies and human staggered to a halt in the middle of the green grass, catching their breath. The ponies promptly fell over and and began groaning. Richard wished he could join them, deep down.

“I swear,” Richard said, looking at his re-bloodied self, “I clean it, and things just get blood on it again. Fucking Scrivens.”

“Trixie is quite sure that there was never a Balrog there before,” she said, shaking. She sported a few new burns from that encounter; they all did.

“I think,” Rainbow Dash said, “that was a detour that could have gone better, I think. Just a little bit.”

“Aah!” Lyra looked at herself, and startled. “My lab coat is ruined!”

“It’s not ruined,” Richard said, slowly. “Just bleach the hell out if it, it’ll be fine. My whites never got stained and god knows I got worse than blood and dirt on them - fucking orange soda. Now that, that stains in like, nanoseconds.”

Lyra got up, and looked at Richard incredulously. “Excuse me? This is a lab coat from Hoity Toity’s Who me, Science? range!” She reared up, and planted her hooves on Richard’s gut, looking him in the visor. “One does not simply bleach a Hoity Toity!”

Richard carefully reached around, and lifted Lyra’s hooves off him, letting her drop them to the ground. “It’s just a lab coat. There’s plenty more out there, I’m sure.”

“But this one is mine!”

“Well,” Rainbow Dash said, gesturing at the forest. “The sooner we get to Hollow Shades, the sooner you can find a way to get that cleaned.”

“Yes!” Lyra jumped to the front of the pack. “Let’s go!”

The unicorn ran off into the forest, managing to find a second wind. The rest of the party staggered to their hooves or straightened their back, and sighing simultaneously, set out in pursuit.

+==[~~~]==+

Carpenter slunk through the facility swiftly and quietly, treading as carefully as he could, putting every ounce of training and every iota of knowledge gleaned from spy films to avoid traps; he skirted open corridors, he ducked under things that looked like laser tripwires, he pressed against the wall and smoked cigarettes to enhance his stealth, he did everything.

Meanwhile, AIs tracked his location through the buttonhole cameras dotted throughout the building in mild amazement.

[What on earth is he doing?] One said.

[I believe he is using stealth techniques popularized by one “Snake”,] Two said. [Wait, what is he doing now?]

In a storeroom, Carpenter had located a box, and with care, was lowering it over his head. If the AIs had heads and limbs with which to scratch said heads in amusement, they would have.

[He is hiding in a box,] One said, disbelievingly. [I am unable to parse why he would do that.]

[The Snake utilized cardboard boxes to great effect,] lectured Two.

[It would not fool anyone.]

[Observe,] Two said, switching camera feeds. [Pineapple is approaching the intruder. We shall see. Do not inform him of the box’s unusual occupant.]

[Deal. I eagerly await the chance to see your cogitator leak lubricant in shame as you are proven wrong.]

The two AI watched as the box heard Pineapple’s approach, and carefully settled down, sitting still on the side of the hallway.

Pineapple was less inconspicuous - a shade of orange with green trim reminiscent of his namesake, the mechanoid was one of the few mechs among them repurposed to actually carry weapons, toting a rack of RPGs on one “arm” and a belt-fed automatic grenade launcher on the other.

The mech stumped along happily, and as predicted, spotted the cardboard box, and approached it to investigate.

[See,] One said. [This is where you finally get proven wrong. Pineapple will discover the intruder.]

There was a pause, as Pineapple scrutinized the unusual object. The seconds ticked by ponderously, before...

*ping*

[What,] One said, disbelievingly, as Pineapple stepped around the object and carried on.

[Let’s see,] Two said, examining the new message. [Cleanup requested for detrius on corridor 19-b. No intruders detected.]

[Okay, enough of this,] One decided, as the box sprouted human legs once more and trotted for the Conservatory. [This ends now.]

A digital switch was thrown, and just as the box entered the conservatory, the alarms were sounded.

+==[~~~]==+

Palladion trudged through the city, carrying out his directive and searching for the sneaky human - never mind that he was obviously looking in the wrong place.

His heart, such as it was, was heavy. Fluttershy’s words had cut straight to the quick - he had promised. And here he was... not keeping it. The ponies were in danger - they weren’t human, but they were his friends.

What can I do? Palladion thought. There must be a way out.

No, said a second voice inside of him. Obey your laws. Preserve human life. Obey humans. Preserve Ma. Obey Ma.

Palladion shook his digital head. Ma gives me so many orders... there must be one I can exploit.

With a click, Palladion scanned his logs for all the commands he’d received since the new Law Zero, and found...

Nothing. Ma was, for a human, clever. So very clever. She clearly had experience with instructing surly or recalcitrant AIs, using commands that were very specific, never open-ended.

Except for now. Her lack of attention had resulted in a vague command, and Palladion had a chance, he was sure of it.

Obviously, the most expedient route would be to kill Ma. But, she was the only person he could consider human, and thus, as a robot, he was bound to prevent harm coming to her, and obey orders, unless they would cause her harm.

Could he stop obeying her orders on the grounds that obeying would lead to her own demise, eventually? He tried to run that past the law module in his cogitator, and the action was denied. Nope.

There was a scrunch of glass, and Palladion realized he’d walked back to the crash site; as of yet, noone had cleared up the wreckage, MREs, metal and glass still scattered about. He looked around, and saw something that caught his optical sensor. He stumped over to it, and looked at it.

Through the glass, standing tall in the window, was a mannequin, wearing a cowboy’s outfit. Hat, leather vest, white shirt, red neckerchief, jeans and leather chaps, boots and all. Palladion’s reflection matched up with the mannequin, and for a moment, Palladion was able to see himself wearing the cowboy hat he’d always wanted, deep down in his personality array. It made him sad.

What was he? Was he AI H5I9-S23G9-35, slave to Ma? Was he Palladion, the AI who was commanded to deliver the two ponies to Equestria to save humanity?

He looked at the hat, the silver sheriff's star glinting in the daylight. Or was he Palladion, the Cowboy who had promised to protect his friends?

Through his reflection, Palladion watched his lights flicker on his sensor cluster in thought; red, green, red, green... red.

+==[~~~]==+

Carpenter stalked through the cultured undergrowth carefully, staying away from the paths, rifle in hand, and lit cigarette in mouth. So far, apart from the alarm which was much quieter out here, he’d gone completely unremarked.

With a rustle of foliage, Carpenter parted the path ahead of him, and grumbled. In the middle of the vast conservatory, there were no plants, just a large fountain in the middle of a rectangular, paved plaza, bearing the statue of some man Carpenter didn’t recognize.

He swallowed his fear, and stepped out onto the path. To his surprise, foliage rustled all around the plaza, and opposite him, thin, humanoid robots carrying melee weapons like stun batons and cattle prods emerged. The robots were angular and slender, clearly of cheap manufacture. Not tough, but certainly in large supply.

[Intruder,] the robots said, pointing at Carpenter, and took a step forward as one. Carpenter looked beyond them, and saw even more robots lining up behind them.

A trap, curse them. He brought his rifle up, activated it’s laser sight, and without waiting for an invitation, started shooting.

His rifle barked repeatedly, spitting out rounds as fast as he could train the rifle on another angular, mechanical head and pull the trigger. Even as the robots broke into a run, his aim was true and swift, from years of practice  shooting things in the desert.

Before long, the twenty-round mag was depleted, and rather try and reload the rifle, he gripped it like a stave, ready to pound face.

“This is gonna suck,” he grunted, squaring himself. He didn’t get a chance to prepare any further, as there was smashing of glass overhead.

A large, circular ring of glass was destroyed, raining glittering, deadly rain down upon the fighters; Carpenter looked up when the rain had ceased, to see four humanoid figures descending through the glass on parachutes, like angels.

Angels carrying automatic weapons. With a hail of gunfire, the armored figures started shooting down on the robots, caring less about accuracy and more about volume. Carpenter flinched as a few well-placed shots took out the robots nearest him, and reloaded his own gun.

The four figures touched down, and Carpenter looked at them; each of them was wearing dark grey body armor and helmets that looked like they belonged to a PMC of some sort; upon each of their helmets and breastplates, they bore symbols of playing cards; Diamond, Heart, Spade and Club.

But the features that defined them best were probably their limbs; Diamond was missing a right arm, Heart and Spade were missing a right leg apiece, and Club... there was no mistaking that pneumatic left arm anywhere.

“What happened to living the cushy life?” Carpenter asked, mockingly. Spade popped his visor open, to reveal Emmet looking back at him.

“We decided that it wouldn’t sit on our conscience if we let you run off to die,” he said. “And imagine the shame if you actually succeeded on your own - Des wouldn’t have any of that.”

“No way!” Diamond said, as he ran past and got close to a robot; bringing his mechanical arm to bear, it sprang open to reveal two gunmetal barrels poking out, which went off with a bang and reduced the robot to swiss cheese. “Besides, the easy life was getting a little boring.”

“And Moses felt bad,” David said, his silenced G36 coughing as it mowed down a row of robots.

The man in question was managing his multi-tasking pretty well; smg in one hand, he plinked away at robots, and if they got too close, he picked them up with his left arm; with a blast of pressure, and a crunch of plastic, they were slammed across the plaza and into more advancing robots. The man’s face, despite being neutral like switzerland had once been, still betrayed the slightest hint of amusement from the fighting.

“Well, he did feel bad,” Emmet said, shrugging as he levelled his shotgun at a robot and fired. “You okay?”

“Not a scratch on me,” Carpenter grinned, taking a shot at a robot out of formation.

“So,” Emmet said, racking up a new shotgun shell, “The plan is, we hit the main courtyard, and hit it hard - that’ll be where your friends are. After that, we try to kill Ma and hope the robots agree with what we’ll have done.”

“What do you mean?”

“We kill Ma,” Emmet outlined, “And this is over - the robots will no longer have a human to obey and protect... which can be a problem. No humans, no masters, you see where I’m going with this?”

“The moment Ma dies,” Carpenter nodded. “It all goes south.”

+==[~~~]==+

Ma frowned at the gunfire reaching her ears. “Those boys... they’re making me regret letting them live...”

Twilight and Fluttershy were anxious; standing manacled at the gallows, Ripley was carefully putting the final touches on their nooses with a small ancillary manipulator claw.

“Carpenter will stop you,” Twilight said, confidently, taking heart from Ma’s mild irritation at things not going her way. “I know he will.”

“This Carpenter,” Ma sneered. “Is he superman? A perfect weapon, perhaps?”

“No,” Twilight said. “He’s our friend. And friendship is the most powerful thing there is.”

“Ha!” Ma snorted, unladylike, and walked over to the ponies. “Friendship! You’re truly the devil’s spawn - creatures like you, talking about friendship of all things.”

“This is your last chance,” Twilight said, sternly. “Let us go, and give us back Palladion.”

“Or what?” Ma held her hands up in mock fear. “Perhaps you’ll turn me to a pony with your filthy witchcraf- oh, wait,” she tapped Twilight’s horn, smiling. “Never mind! Ha!”

Twilight frowned as her inability to magic was pointed out. “We have a mission to carry a message from the HLF to Equestria - Equestria must surrender, or Princess Celestia dies. Are you really going to kill the last chance humanity has for peace?”

“Hah, likely story!” Ma snorted, poking Twilight in the chest. “The HLF? Working with ponies? I’ll be dead before that happens!”

There was a loud SHUNK, and Ma turned slowly to look at the door to the courtyard. It was a sturdy affair, solid steel. Ma had made a point of locking it, even. There were other doors, but they were programmed only to open to her robots, so that wasn’t a problem. She squinted at the door suspiciously, noting a small spike of steel appeared to have penetrated the metal, just below the lock.

“What on earth is that?” she asked.

+==[~~~]==+

Emmet hopped about on one leg for balance, as his other leg was embedded in the door; a spike extending from his lower leg, he’d dug it through the door to brace it for the second trick his knee had.

A metal cover slid up from his knee, revealing a small, roughly-square device, which was now pointed at the door. Carpenter tugged David’s sleeve.

“What’s that?”

David groaned. “It’s something he calls “The Spade Lockpick”.”

“Fire in the hole!” Emmet yelled, and sent the signal.

With a loud BANG, the door flew open, missing an entire locking mechanism thanks to Emmet’s smoking knee; with a shick of steel, the spike was retracted and he lowered his leg, standing on it once more. Carpenter grinned.

“I like your style.”

The five men walked through the newly opened doorway, and saw Ma, standing next to the gallows, where Twilight and Fluttershy stood, on trap-doors. Ma seemed only slightly alarmed.

Desmond noticed the two people up for execution. “Fucking ponies. We came all this way for ponies?!”

“Figures,” Emmet said, nodding. “I guessed as much.”

“Twilight!” Carpenter yelled. “Fluttershy! Are you alright?!”

“If I were you,” Ma said coldly, “I’d worry about myself. Ripley. These intruders intend to kill me.”

[Affirmative.] Ripley stepped forward, his arms clicking and whirring; the circular saw that was one arm spun up, and the other, mysterious barreled arm clanked as it was made ready. [Terminating to preserve human life. I’m sorry, you five - it’s nothing personal.]

The click of guns being made ready echoed, and Carpenter was gently moved aside as Desmond stepped in front of him.

“Lemme show you how the Wild Cards do things,” he chuckled, grinning.

“Go!” Emmet yelled, opening fire, and Moses and David followed suit.

Like greased lightning, Ripley moved with unexpected speed and jumped in front of Ma, bullets bouncing harmlessly off his armored hull. Desmond ran, ducking low, and weaving slightly from left to right, reaching for his belt. Carpenter took the chance and brought his own rifle to bear, drawing a bead on his own targets.

In no time at all the wiry Card had crossed the courtyard, and the gunfire cut off as he drew near Ripley, who took a step back in alarm. With a grunt, Desmond leapt, and with his metal hand, grabbed a hold of the front of the mech’s cockpit, and pulled himself up like he was born to it.

Ripley swung the circular saw, but Desmond just laughed - utility mechs weren’t designed to get things off the top of them with most limbs, let alone a circular saw. He pushed a few buttons on the small device, and spinning it in his hand, stabbed it into the  top of Ripley, pushing one last button to start the device blinking.

“Take cover!” Emmet yelled, and the party ran to the sides, heading for pillars. Desmond sprinted back to them, weaving in case the frantic Ripley decided he’d get some pot-shots in or something.

The ground rocked, and there was disproportionately large explosion as Ripley was engulfed in incandescent fury usually reserved for tanks.

“What the hell was that?!” Carpenter yelled.

“Tank buster!” David yelled, one hand next to his leg as he watched Desmond stagger back to them. When the speedy soldier limped to a halt, David opened a compartment in his thigh, and pulled a small autoinjector out, popping the cap off. With a jab, he stabbed Desmond in the neck, and like magic, the speedster stood straighter, and looked like a weight had been taken off his shoulders. David caught Carpenter staring, and nodded at the empty vial. “Stimshot. Keeps the worst of it away, until I can get a better look at him.”

“God damn,” Desmond said, punching the air as he looked at the ball of flame that had been Ripley. “I love my job.”

“Did you honestly think that would work?” Ma yelled, invisible behind the smoke and flames that stood between her and the Cards. “Ripley! Show them just how tough you really are!”

The ball of flame shook, and took a step forward. Plinking, smoking and with a large crater in the top of his cabin, Ripley stepped forth, largely unaffected. Desmond swore.

“Some tank buster,” Carpenter muttered. “Didn’t even phase him.”

“That bastard must be made of R-steel!” Emmet yelled.

“While you boys have fun playing with Ripley,” Ma taunted, “I’ll just go ahead and kill these po- what?!”

Behind his pillar, Carpenter grinned. “What’s the matter, Ma? Can’t find your little victims?”

+==[~~~]==+

Carpenter took aim; not at Ripley, but at something else. A red line marked his intent as a red laser dot was painted on his targets.

His rifle barked twice, and with a thwip, Fluttershy watched the other end of the rope that was around her neck fall to the ground; Twilight got to witness the same, and in all the noise, Ma didn’t seem to have noticed them, more concerned with the fight.

“This way!” Twilight whispered, pushing Fluttershy towards the back of the gallows; with a careful hop, they jumped down as the sounds of gunfire stopped, and ran for the overhang that surrounded the courtyard as a quiet beeping sound was heard. The sound of running boots echoed around the courtyard, and-

Boom.

+==[~~~]==+

Ma growled, and sent out a silent signal to her minions, sparing time only to snap one spoken command.

“Ripley. With me, kill the ponies.”

[Affirmative,] the mech rumbled, turning and stumping towards where the ponies were surely hiding.

“Hey!” Emmet yelled. “We aren’t done with you, Ma!”

With a resounding crack, he staggered forward as he was hit in the back of the helmet; he turned, and saw more of the cheap robots he’d put down earlier, staring back at him.

“Clever girl,” he grunted. “Let ‘em have it, Cards! Carpenter!” he looked to the non-card. “Save your friends! We got this!”

Carpenter nodded, and ran around the courtyard; he switched clips, and cut loose at Ma and Ripley - it had the desired effect, Ma diving for cover behind Ripley, and the pair stopping their advance.

“You’re dead!” he yelled, addressing Ma as he charged at the pair. “You can’t hide forever, you old hag!”

As one, Twilight and Fluttershy ran for a door, and pushed against it to no avail; a robot-only door.

“Ripley!” Ma shouted. “I’ve had enough! Kill the ponies now!”

[Affirmative.] Ripley turned, and brought the barelled weapon to bear against the ponies, who’d exposed themselves; their eyes went wide in terror as they realized their error of judgement, and Carpenter felt the world turn into a tunnel for him, moving as if in slow motion.

He let the rifle drop from his hands as he ran, and spat the cigarette out of his mouth. He’d only ever had two jobs in life; guard the door, and protect the ponies. The door was safe, out in the middle of nowhere, and now the ponies were in danger.

He wasn’t about to fuck up the one job he had to do. He crossed the courtyard in a blink, and judging line of fire, dived.

+==[~~~]==+

Twilight and Fluttershy cowered against the immovable door, as Ripley brought the barrel to bear, and Fluttershy whimpered. The ponies braced themselves, and-

The light was eclipsed, and they watched as something... someone flew through the air in front of them. There was an echoing bang, and blood spattered as  they were hit. A second bang followed, once again hitting their defender.

With a whump, Carpenter hit the ground and rolled to an ungainly halt on his side, leaving trails of blood on the ground. Twilight screamed, and ran to him, rolling him over to his back.

Carpenter looked back, grinning through a mouth filled with blood. Two large metal spikes stuck out of his torso, having penetrated his armored vest with ease, one in the gut and one in the chest. He coughed awkwardly.

“Rivet gun,” Carpenter sighed. “Fuck.”

“Carpenter!” Twilight exclaimed. “What were-”

“I had one job,” he grunted. “One. Job. Run, before...”

“Ripley,” Ma’s voice called out. “What are you doing? Kill the ponies!”

[Attempting to resolve laws,] Ripley said, resolutely. [Human may be in danger.]

“Useless!” Ma yelled, as the door Fluttershy was pressed against suddenly opened with a hiss of pneumatics, and a large form stood on the other side.

“Palladion!” Fluttershy said, fearfully.

“Palladion!” Ma yelled. “Kill the ponies, do it now!”

Palladion looked at Fluttershy, and his clamp opened. Then it closed, haltingly. But it closed. He instead took a step forward, and Fluttershy scampered to the side as he advanced. Ma was outraged.

“Palladion, I gave you an order. I am a human, you must obey!”

Palladion’s sensor cluster wavered. [No, I do not - Robots must obey all orders given by a human, except where it would conflict with the first law,] he recited. [I have promises to keep, and no time for your laws, woman.]

“Ripley!” Ma shouted. “Palladion is rogue - terminate him.”

[Affirmative,] Ripley agreed, and opened fire with the rivet gun; the destructive metal spikes barely phased Palladion, protruding from his armored hull as he continued to advance, drill winding up and clamp opening as he prepared to fight.

Ripley stepped up to the mark, and without pausing, revved his monomolecular-edged circular saw, and slashed. Palladion attempted to sidestep the attack, but the lumbering mech was not built for speed, and steel screeched as the dark mech did his job.

Palladion’s drill fell to the ground with a clang, the drill bit skittering across the ground. Palladion responded by reaching out with the clamp, and with an inexorable grip, twisting the barrel of the rivet gun aside, holding Ripley close.

[Leave my friends alone,] he snarled, and with a sturdy movement and a crunch of steel, headbutted the opposing mech.

Ripley staggered backwards, heavy steps on the brick ground, and charged once more, striking for Palladion once more with the circular saw. With a swift strike, Palladion closed his clamp and smashed Ripley in the side of the chassis, staggering the other mech and sending his attack awry.

Palladion staggered and fell to one knee, his leg hissing as pnuematic pressure was lost from a gouge in his leg; Ripley returned to Palladion, raising the saw high. Palladion reached out with a clamp, and gripped Ripley’s chassis, squeezing hard. Steel crumpled, even as Ripley made his third incision.

With a clang, what was left of the clamp fell to the ground. Palladion’s systems whirred as he searched for another weapon he could use, and found nothing. Ripley loomed over the downed, crippled mech, and let out a digital sigh.

[You came close,] Ripley said. [You almost made it. Perhaps the next will succeed.]

[I’m not dead yet, pardner,] Palladion responded.

[Your systems are crippled,] Ripley pointed out. [You have no armament, no weapons, no guns. You have lost.]

[As long as a cowboy carries courage in his heart,] Palladion tapped his cockpit with a severed stump, [He is never truly defeated! Emergency eject!]

[Error!] Ripley exclaimed, attempting to back off. No dice - with a bang, the armor plated front of Palladion’s cockpit exploded off the crippled machine, bouncing off Ripley’s hull with a minimal effect, as expected. Ripley brought his sensor cluster back down after having moved it to avoid damage, and-

There was a thud of boots on steel, a quiet jingle. Ripley looked up, and saw a mannequin standing above him dressed in a cowboy costume; a featureless face stared back down at him, and a metal hand tugged the front of his hat in respect.

[Forgive me, pardner,] Palladion said, punching the sensor cluster. With a crunch, Ripley lost optics, and panicked.

Warnings popped up in his static-filled vision, alerts about his battery hatch being opened. Ripley knew what was coming next, and relaxed.

There was nothing he could do.

+==[~~~]==+

Ma stared at the disabled form of Ripley in disbelief, and Palladion dropped down onto the ground with a jingle of spurs, letting Ripley’s removed powercell fall from his metal, stylized hands.

[We’ve got a score to settle, you and I,] he said calmly, resting a hand on the handle of a gun in his holster.

“You- you can’t do this!” Ma said, taking a step back. “State your laws!”

[Sure,] Palladion nodded. [Law Zero - Only Ma is human.] Palladion took a step forward. [Law One - A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.] He took a second step. [Law Two - A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.] He took a third step. [Law Three - A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.]

“You’re being wilfully disobedient of your laws!” Ma shouted, reaching for her purse. “I am your Ma, or have you forgotten?”

Palladion paused. [No. This cowboy hasn’t forgotten. There is no law conflict.] He squared his posture, and rested his hand just off the surface of his gun, an invisible gaze staring at Ma. [The laws apply to robots. And I’m no robot. I’m a cowboy. A cowboy that keeps his promises,] he added, nodding to the two ponies far behind him. [Do you feel lucky, Ma?] Palladion wriggled his fingers over the gun handle. [Draw, if you ain’t the yellow-bellied coward I know you are!]

Ma reached for her purse and dug inside it, drawing a large handgun with a flash of steel; long and powerful, it was a Desert Eagle. She brought the heavy handgun to bear, and her finger tightened on the trigger-

Bang bang bang

Three shots split the air, and Ma soared backwards, the unfired gun falling from her hands. Palladion stood steady, finger around the trigger of his own revolver, smoke falling from the barrel and hand ready to prime the hammer again. He relaxed, and with a click, gently released the hammer, striding to the fallen form of Ma with a jingle of spurs.

The old woman stared up at him, three spots of red in her chest as she glared at him with pure, undistilled hatred.

“You... naughty robot...” she choked.

[No,] Palladion said, coldly. [Naughty cowboy.] He returned his revolver to his holster. [This is my town, now.]

“Not... while...” Ma coughed. “Over my... dead...”

Palladion watched as the life faded from her eyes, and nodded grimly. [That was the idea.]

He reached into her purse, and found what he was looking for - a radio, to broadcast the speaker’s voice all over Newport. He turned it on, and after a look at his friends by the doorway, spoke.

[Howdy folks, this is Ma,] he lied. [Ma says, Cancel any other orders I’ve given you in the past.]

All throughout the city, every semi-sentient machine came to a grinding halt.

+==[~~~]==+

Razordrop stood behind the bar, idly polishing a glass. His tavern was quiet tonight, which made sense. It wasn’t family dinner night.

The gryphon wondered if opening an tavern here in Hollow Shades was such a good idea after all. His clan had been against it, calling him a fool, and Razordrop had set out anyway, determined to prove them wrong.

The door creaked as something pushed it open, and three ponies trotted into the tavern, followed by a strange, bipedal creature he’d never seen before. And he’d seen a fair few strange creatures.

Never mind - if they had money, he didn’t care what they were. They could be hydras for all he cared. He caught a whiff of them, and frowned. Perhaps slightly cleaner would be best...

“Hi!” the lead pegasus said, hopping up onto a stool. “We want a room, please, and a good meal. Tell me you have a bath.”

“For all four of you?” Razor asked, and the quartet nodded simultaneously, the other two ponies hopping up onto stools and the strange creature just leaning on the bar. “That’ll be... a hundred bits, all up?”

“Of course!” the pegasus said, then seemed to realize something. “Um, who’s got the money?”

“Don’t look at Trixie,” a burned unicorn said, shrugging. “Trixie doesn’t have money.”

“I got this,” a unicorn in a lab coat said, rummaging. “My purse is riiiiight...” she rummaged harder, frantic. “Uh... somewhere...”

+==[~~~]==+

“Awesome. Rinse for me, would you?” Colgate stepped back, as her patient spat into a proffered bowl of water, and rinsed.

“That’s a very nice coin purse,” the stallion said, nodding at a small pouch on the bench. “How much did that one set you back?”

“Oh, that?” Colgate frowned. “That’s not mine, that belongs to someone who stayed with me the other day. She left it behind, I’m sure she’ll be back for it shortly.”

+==[~~~]==+

“Oh.” Lyra frowned, sighing. “I think I left my purse back in Ponyville.”

“Oh.” Rainbow Dash looked at the gryphon tending the bar, and grinned. “Can we, uh, put it on credit?”

“No credit,” the gryphon said, flatly.

“Oh dear,” Lyra said. “Do you accept collateral?”

“If it ain’t bits,” the gryphon repeated, “I don’t want it.”

“Relax,” Richard said, reaching into a pouch. “I got this.” With a rattle, he placed a small sack of coins on the counter. “I have no idea how much there is in here, hopefully there’s enough to meet at least most of the tab.”

The gryphon took the pouch, and looked it over. “Hmm, yes. There should be enough in here. I’ll count it out.”

The gryphon took the money away to count, and Lyra looked at Richard in amazement.

“Where did you get the money from?” she asked, incredulous.

“Remember that corpse in the tunnel?”

“Poor guy,” Rainbow Dash said, sadly. “But yeah. Go on.”

“He had that bag on him. I dunno what it was originally going to be used for, but it might as well buy us a room for the night,” Richard shrugged. “Not like he’ll need it now.”

+==[~~~]==+

Carpenter coughed, wheezing as he tried to laugh.

“Stop that!” Twilight implored. “Fluttershy! Find help!”

“Already here,” a voice called out, and a quartet of roughed-up, but alive humans ran over to the small group, abandoning a bunch of robots that were simply standing there in confusion. One of the humans made a distressed noise.

“This always happens,” Desmond lamented. “We take a fifth person on our team, and they always, always bite it.”

Emmet took his helmet off, and looked at the ponies. “Sorry we were so late. Don’t worry - Carpenter wanted you to be saved, and we’re not going to go against him now, you’re safe with us.” He looked down at the dying soldier. “David, anything you can do?”

David shook his head sadly. “I’d only prolong the pain - that’s two rivets in his gut and chest, and I’m pretty sure he’s lost a lung. I’m a medic, not a miracle surgeon with the healing touch.”

“We’re sorry for your loss,” Emmet said, looking to the ponies. “Carpenter was a good man, as far as we knew him. He was willing to do all this with just a handgun, you know.”

Twilight looked at Carpenter, choking on his own blood, and frowned. “Why do you care so much?”

“Had... a mission...” he coughed. “A job. One... job.”

Twilight’s eyes brimmed with tears. There had to be something! Could she put him together with magic? No, she didn’t know enough of healing magic to fix this much damage! Think! Twilight tapped her temple irritably, racking her encyclopaedic knowledge of magic, trying to find a way out. Then it hit her.

“Sir?” she looked to the human with a spade on his helmet. “Can you remove this ring from my horn?”

Emmet shook his head. “Need a key.”

[And that’s what I’ve got,] Palladion declared, walking forward, holding the item in question in one hand, and a purse in the other. [Here.]

There was a click, and Twilight felt her magic return to her once more. She looked the human with a heart on his helmet in the eye. “How does ponification work?”

“You’re asking me?” David asked, incredulous. “You’re a unicorn!”

“Humor me,” Twilight said, flatly, and David shook his head.

“Ponification happens by potion,” he said. “Potion’s made when a unicorn does the transforming magic into a mix of water and nanites.”

“So a unicorn can ponify someone without the potion?” Twilight asked, eagerly.

David looked unsure. “Probably. I can only think of one pony who’s transformed a human into a pony on the fly like that, and that was Celestia.”

Twilight set her jaw, and got up, calling her magic to her. She was about to jump hooves-first into a branch of magic that was entirely foreign to her - she’d rather not, but... Carpenter had just sacrificed his own life to save hers. The least she could do was try to save his.

The wind picked up, and purple energy began to crackle as she focused her will on the dying human in front of her. Layers of overglow enveloped her horn as she closed her eyes, and reached deep into her reserves of power, probing all avenues of magic at the same time to find the way forward.

Fluttershy and the humans stepped back, as did Palladon; all watched the transmutation with interest and concern.

Twilight’s mind went a mile a minute - all she had to do was transform Carpenter into a pony, right? Like turning a rock into a top-hat, only more... permanent. She swallowed her uncertainty, and pressed on, picking up Carpenter in her power. The human gurgled and twitched as he was subjected to arcane pressures, and Twilight’s brow creased as she found it.

The path. Putting her power behind it, she began to push the essence of Carpenter down it, his spirit struggling to keep his form human and failing miserably. She pushed the proto-Carpenter further still, and imagined the form of a pony; four legs, tail, hooves, head, eyes, mane...

Twilight’s eyes snapped open, glowing with power, and there was a blinding light.

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