"Well done, Miss Doo. Well done, indeed."

Ditzy broke from her reverie, scrambled to her hooves, and turned to the speaker behind her, all while shaking off an odd feeling of deja vu. Then she looked up. And kept going.

Given that she'd just accidentally done something that would probably forever change the plane's balance of power, she'd actually been expecting an unspeakably ancient and powerful planeswalker who formed plots that spanned centuries as a matter of course. A sadistic, twisted individual who could destroy minds with a touch. One who did not so much walk the planes as he tore open the fabric of space-time to make room for his immensity.

She just wasn't expecting this one. "Discord?"

The embodiment of chaos bowed. "Indeed. And I must say, Ditzy, you did better than I dared hope."

"At what?"

Discord tapped a talon against his lips. "I suppose you're due an explanation." He coiled himself around her and shrank down to about half usual scale, where his head has the size of hers. "So, where would you like me to begin?"

The alarm bells going off in Ditzy's head were making it hard to think. She was literally surrounded by one of the most dangerous beings in the Multiverse. "The beginning?"

Discord clicked his tongue. "So predictable. But you did do such a good job, I suppose I can let it slide." A push of his cloven hoof, and they went skidding off of the podium like a curling stone on well-swept ice, keeping the same altitude once they went over the lip.

Ditzy tried her best to stay cool and calm, even when they passed directly through one of the pillars circling the Maze's End. "Is this actually happening right now?"

The incarnation grinned. "Well, that's hardly a question about the beginning. But if you'd rather get into a philosophical debate about whether anything can be said to be 'actually happening,' to say nothing of the illusory nature of time that makes the phrase 'right now' so deliciously pernicious, then—"

"Forget I asked."

"Forget you asked what?" Discord winked and patted Ditzy on the head. "Do relax, my little pony. You've done a great good this day. I may have nudged you once or twice—a passing thought here, a chance encounter there, and yes, that little somnambulist episode to get you started—but make no mistake, this was at least ninety percent you. I am not just grateful to you, Ditzy Doo, I am proud of you, and there are very few beings in this Multiverse who can claim that."

Ditzy did relax. A little. Discord seemed in a playful mood, which was always preferable to the alternative. "So, what did I do that was so impressive?"

Discord looked up at the pair of impossible ponies circling overhead. Ditzy realized they were back on the center podium. "Do you know who they are?"

"A pair of nephilim that slept through the Decamillennial?"

"Close, but not quite, though they have been asleep for a long, long time, and they are quite like those delightful creatures that were suplexed, detonated, and Rakdosed to death a few decades ago. Quite like them, but not identical."

Ditzy recognized verbal bait when she heard it. "What's the difference?"

Discord smiled. He loved a good audience. "The difference lies in their minds. The nephilim had mentalities rather like my own, prior to my true awakening. Raw and primordial, more like forces of nature than actual beings. But Celestia and Luna—"

"What!?" Ditzy's head whipped back up. "Th-those are... the Sisters, they're..."

"Real? Very much so." Discord stroked his beard. "Mind you, not all the legends are true. Luna never gobbled up bad little foals. Celestia did not 'invent' the estrus cycle. Honestly, neither had much of a hoof in your species's development, civilized or otherwise. But they were there, the first and greatest of the ponies, whose special talents made them as ageless and mighty as the sun and moon themselves." He shrugged. "Granted, that's not saying much, compared to some suns and moons out there."

"So, they were sealed here? Why?"

"It all comes down to the hazard of early adoption," explained Discord. "Sure, they got all the fancy new gimmicks that came with sapience first, but they also got all the bugs and teething problems. The sisters were and still are wild horses in certain ways, and as the city consumed the plane, they had to be corralled." He glowered. "Like Ciszarim, they were too chaotic for an ecumenopolis. Or so thought Azor."

Ditzy reeled as she tried to take it all in. "So... they were the prize? Whoever completed the maze won a pair of alicorns for her guild?"

Discord's glower only deepened, affecting his appearance further than just a frown. The whimsical caricature grew more realistic, more extant, more terrifying. "Oh, anything but. The power of the sisters would be released, yes, but they themselves would not. Even if a guildpony ran the maze, the power would go to his guildmaster, to use at his, her, its, or their discretion." His ire passed a threshold, and the living incarnation of chaos, the elemental roil of emotion and instinct and ambition that made times interesting, entwined itself around Ditzy Doo in all its horrific majesty.

Rectangular pupils, a part of Ditzy noted. Discord has goat eyes. The rest of her was terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

Discord caught a hint of Ditzy about to befoul herself from the future, noticed his appearance, and promptly settled down. "Sorry about that. Never was a fan of Azor. Or any of the Grand Arbiters, for that matter."

Ditzy had folded in herself. "I got that," she muttered, trembling.

The draconequus looked genuinely contrite. Thankfully, no one saw it. He had a reputation to maintain, after all. "My apologies, Ditzy. This should be a time of celebration and here I am, falling back on old habits." He brushed her back with his eagle talon, literally combing the stress out of her. "Freeing the sisters isn't the only reason I'm proud of you, you know."

She looked up, grateful not to see goat eyes staring back. Those were bad enough on goats. "Why else?"

He smiled. "Think about it. As I said, the sisters' power would go to the head of the winning guild. What do you think their being freed means?"

"Well, unless there's some secret, forgotten eleventh guild—"

"Which there isn't."

"In that case..." Ditzy's eyes went wide. "The unguilded won."

"The Gateless win!" Discord echoed, suddenly wearing pinstripes. He raised his torso and flailed his arms. "Theeeeeeee Gateless win!" He settled himself, his shirt as gone as suddenly as it had appeared. "And with that, the balance of power is not only maintained, but enhanced.

"Now, I'm not a fan of status quo, but also not of letting go and the world being torn apart. Not this world, certainly. Ravnica is one of the best sources of sustainable chaos I've ever found. Thanks to you, one of the biggest threats to that chaos has been expended in bolstering it, before Gruff the Tragic Dragon could make use of it. Now everyone has a chance in this world. What was a ten-player game with billions of pawns has grown to either eleven players or several billion and ten, depending on how you look at it."

Ditzy actually felt a glow of pride at that... for all of a second. Then one of the asides she understood fully registered. "What was that about Bolas?"

"Hmm?" Discord paused in his seven-dimensional victory dance. "Oh, that. Well, you know Nicky. Plans within plans within plans, and that's just for deciding who to have for breakfast. He was probably going to make use of the Maze at some point, and now he can't. It's not quite killing him, but there is a chance you managed to get on his 'kill everything you ever loved' list."

All the chaotic curry combing in the world wouldn't remove the pit in Ditzy's stomach. "What."

"On that note," continued the draconequus, "I'm on my way to Theros for an experiment in disorganized religion." He manifested a sunhat and a ridiculous shirt that was half starlight and fifty-seven percent cotton candy. "Care to come along? You'll love the place. Well, as long as you like olives."

Everything came together in Ditzy's mind. "You've got me in a corner. If Bolas is angry at me, then the only place that's even remotely safe is by your side."

"If-slash-when he finds out what happened, what you did, and that it was you who did it," noted Discord, rummaging through a drawer he'd pulled out of thin air. "Where did I put that SPF Heliod?"

"That's all virtually guaranteed. There's no way creatures as powerful as the Sisters will escape his notice." Ditzy gasped. "The Sisters! He could—"

"Oh, don't worry. They have long memories, those two. Nicky may have brought the occasional god to its knees, but they know what they're dealing with. Besides, open confrontation isn't his style. Not with three witnesses every square yard." Discord snapped his suitcases shut. To Ditzy's eyes, they glowed in ways far beyond the electromagnetic spectrum's capabilities. "So, you coming?"

The pegasus quirked an eyebrow. "You're giving me a choice?"

"Oh, you always have a choice. You just don't always have a good choice."

"One more question?"

Discord leaned back as if on an invisible recliner. "Ask as many as you like, my dear."

"Why me?"

He blinked, then beamed. "You really don't know?"

"Do you think I'd be asking if I did?" Ditzy noted.

"Hmm. You've got a point." Discord flicked Ditzy's horn. By the time her hooves clapped over her forehead, it was gone. "Well, it's the same reason I decided to make you my catspaw in this little endeavor."

Ditzy noticed a sudden perspective shift. She looked down and saw her waist merged into Discord's right shoulder. "Ah!"

"Oh. Sorry, poor choice of words." Despite his words, the draconequus wore an expression of mild amusement. A blink, and she was back in his lap. "Where was I? Oh, yes. You see, Ditzy, things just haven't been the same since the Mending. Back in the day, planeswalkers knew how to have fun. Teferi, Bo Levar, Commodore Guff... by the Horde, I miss Guff. Even if he took away my library card."

Discord shook himself out of his nostalgia. "In any case, you kids these days. So terribly serious all the time. 'Justice' this and 'moral dilemma' that and 'killing archdemonic loansharks' the other. Nowadays, I can count the 'walkers who don't take themselves seriously on one paw." He held up the arm that Ditzy had briefly replaced. "Me, Sorin, the delightful Miss Nalaar, and you." With every name, he extended a claw. Once all four were deployed, he waggled his fingers. "That's it. Everyone else, from Ajani to Xenagos, seems utterly incapable of having a good time without some kind of pathos. Especially Xenagos, poor soul."

"I, um..." Ditzy took her time with her response. "I'm flattered?" If she sounded unsure, that's because she was.

"You should be." Discord checked the wristwatch that hadn't been there a second ago. "Now, the little hand is on morningtide, the big hand is on the third arm of the time spiral, and the shoe is on the other foot. Are you coming or not?"

Ditzy sighed and gestured forward with a wing. "Lead the way, Captain Chaos."

Discord grinned and adjusted his domino mask. "See, that's an advantage to working for me rather than unjolly old Saint Nic. I have a much more lax attitude towards insubordination." He wrapped his scaly tail around Ditzy, headbutted the planar firmament, tore open a portal in time-space with his snaggletooth, and somersaulted through it wings first, pony in tow.

Celestia and Luna circled one another, collecting their thoughts. For more than ten thousand years, they had slept as the dead, dreamless and buried. The sudden onset of light, sound, and magic threatened to overwhelm them, and each supported and was supported by her sister, taking comfort in the familiar presence.

The beating of great leathery wings pierced through the meaningless noise and struck both in the hindbrain. The instinct to flee was strong, but their will was stronger. Together, the sisters whirled to face the dragon, horns alight. However long they had slept, the beasts had clearly forgotten the lessons of old; it would be high time to refresh their memory.

Both blinked, almost in synch. Together, they doused their horns. A shared glance, and Celestia spoke for both. "You?"

"Me." Niv-Mizzet grinned and spread his arms. "Welcome, dear ones. I have been expecting you. There is much to discuss."

The sisters looked about them. City. City as far as the eye could see, without a care for leylines or biomes or... wasn't there supposed to be an ocean there?

Luna swallowed. "So there is." A dot of purple caught her eye; a dragon riding the dragon. She pointed a hoof. "Who...?"

Niv-Mizzet's grin widened. "As I said, much to discuss." He gestured downward. "The old forum is available, and this time it is not trapped. The other paruns' successors and representatives are on their way. Business will begin soon enough, and once it does, it may never end. Let us enjoy what time we have."

Celestia, World Lantern RGWU
Legendary Creature — Avatar
Alicorn (This card is a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying
Whenever Celestia, World Lantern attacks, tap all lands defending player controls and untap all lands you control.
When she awoke, she outshone the sun to remind it of its old mistress.
2/2

Luna, Dream Walker UBRG
Legendary Creature — Avatar
Alicorn (This card is a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying
Whenever another player draws a card, you may draw a card unless that player puts a card from his or her hand on the bottom of his or her library.
When she awoke, her dreams sought out new minds to host them.
2/2

Discord 3BRG
Planeswalker — Discord
+2: Discard up to two cards at random, then draw that many cards.
-2: Target player chooses a nonland, non-Discord permanent he or she controls at random and sacrifices it.
-8: You get an emblem with "Whenever a spell or ability you don't control is put on the stack, reselect its targets at random."
5

Author's Notes:

Once I decided that Celestia and Luna couldn't be guild members, making them quasi-nephilim was the logical alternative. After all, gods in Magic don't have a very good track record. They fall into four categories: Gaea, nondivine entities with good publicity, the Therian pantheon (who Need Prayer Badly,) and thanks to that last one, changelings. With the sisters lying firmly in the second category, I just needed to come up with honorifics that sounded suitable for nephilim and abilities that worked for the princess sisters and could justifiably be put on four-color cards.

Making Discord the ultimate instigator came to me the day after Thanksgiving. (To put it in story context, "Rot Farmer's Almanac" was still in production. I hope it was worth the wait.) After all, the dynamic equilibrium of Ravnica seems like it would appeal to him, and the idea of the incarnation of chaos as a balance against the tyrannical tendencies of Nicol Bolas was an appealing one. Making him a planeswalking greatest elemental of Lorwyn simultaneously did and didn't make sense, which is how I knew it was perfect.
Also, goat eyes are really creepy.

The Maze may be solved, but that doesn't mean there's nothing left to do in pony-populated Ravnica. The city of guilds has a billion stories to tell, and these were just eleven of them. I have no idea what will happen there now, but I'd love to see other people's takes on the possibilities.

Oh, and I never found a good place for Spike's card, but I did tease it in the Izzet chapter. I might as well share it here:

Spike, Budding Dracogenius UR
Legendary Creature — Dragon Wizard
Whenever you draw a card, you may put a +1/+1 counter on Spike, Budding Dracogenius.
XUR, T: Spike deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures, where X is Spike's power.
"In time, he will be the only being on Ravnica worthy of succeeding me. In time."
—Niv-Mizzet
1/1