Her Majesty's Secret Service
Chapter 2: Chapter Two: Dr. No
Previous Chapter Next ChapterChapter Two: Dr. No
“Hey Night Light, come out to the bar with us tonight!”
“No thanks.”
“Aww, come on, why not? You never come out with us anymore!”
“Because I know exactly what’ll happen, Pommel. You’re going to get incredibly drunk again, Velvet is going to hit on me, again, and I’ll be so worn out foal-sitting you two that I’ll be late for my shift in the morning. Again.”
“Are you seriously still sore about that? It happened once, like three months ago.”
“Once was too much.”
“Oh don't give me that, Night Light, what’s being a little late once or twice gonna hurt? Jeez, when’d you become such a stiff?”
Night Light gave the charcoal-grey Pegasus beside him the best exasperated eye-roll he could muster, not slowing his patrol through the halls of the Royal Palace by even a single stride. “Pommel, we’ve been over this. Several times. I’m Captain of the Guard. I can’t just go out and party all night on a whim anymore, I have responsibilities; and so do you two. You’re lucky the Night Guard isn’t under my jurisdiction, or I’d have a hay of a lot more to say about how often you’ve been late for shifts. And frankly I think you’re being a bad influence on Velvet, too. She’s apprenticing under the librarian of the Royal Archives, for goodness’ sake, she shouldn’t be out drinking every night…”
Pommel scoffed and flared his featherless, leathery wings to jab one of their oddly sharp points at Night Light’s flank, keeping pace with him effortlessly. “Oh please, what are you, her mother? She’s a big girl, she can have fun after work if she wants to. Besides, it’s not every night…”
“It’s close. And every time I go out with you two she gets so… so…”
“Flirty?” Pommel ventured a guess.
“Touchy-feely,” Night Light said instead. “Like she has no concept of ‘personal space’ when I’m around.”
“See, that’s the other thing I don’t get,” Pommel marveled suddenly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a stallion be less excited by a mare hitting on him so blatantly that she might as well be hiking her tail up in front of you and saying ‘please have sex with me.’ Out of season, even, Lighty!”
“Pommel!” Night Light hissed, his eyes darting around the halls to assure himself that nopony else had heard, and thankfully finding their current patrol route empty except for them. “How many times do I have to tell you, don’t talk about our friend that way!”
“Why not? It’s the truth.” Pommel shrugged, walking on as if nothing unusual had happened, until Night Light was left staring at the small, gleaming sword adorning his flanks – pommel-up, fittingly – and had to jog a bit to catch up. “She wants you. She’s wanted you since she met you. I know it, you know it, the whole freaking palace knows it.”
“That’s not the point…!”
“And if I were you I’d be all over that. She’s gorgeous. Perfect white coat, that cute little horn, those baby-blue eyes… the things I’d do to that backside…”
“Pommel, I don’t think--”
“You disagree? Night Light, that is blasphemy. You’d have to be gay to not think she’s the hottest pony in Canterlot, next to the Princess.” Pommel paused. “…Not that there’s anything wrong with that. If you are.”
“Subtle.”
“Well, a stallion spurns a mare’s advances for long enough, a pony starts to wonder…”
“I’m not gay, Pommel.”
“Well then what’s the deal? Why are you shutting down Velvet?”
Night Light grunted and sighed in frustration. “Look, it’s not like I don’t like her, I just… don’t think it’s a good idea to get… involved right now, for either of us. We have careers opening up in front of us, we can’t be getting distracted by--”
“By what? Friends? Having a life? Getting the girl?” Pommel shook his head almost disappointedly. “What’s happened to you, Night Light? You’ve been acting like a completely different pony lately.”
Night Light snorted, blowing away loose strands of his mane. “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m the same pony I’ve always been…”
“Doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing. You’ve changed, Night Light. I think that Captain gig has finally gone to your head. You take everything way too seriously these days, you’ve abandoned any pretense of a social life, and you’re completely ignoring a gorgeous girl you admit to liking who likes you back. And for what? For Princess Celestia? Am I the only pony who sees a problem here?”
“Princess Celestia is our ruler!” Night Light swiftly countered. “It is my sworn duty to serve and protect her above all else!”
Now it was Pommel’s turn to roll his eyes. “See, that, that right there. That’s exactly what I’m talking about. The Night Light I used to know never talked like such a tool.”
“Hey!”
“Well, it’s true,” Pommel stood his ground. “Were you even listening to yourself? You sounded like some kind of… cultist. You need to get it in your head that Celestia is just another pony like all the rest of us.”
“‘Just another pony?!’” Night Light blanched. “Pommel, how can you even say that?! She raises the sun and the moon every day and night! She’s the pony who is single-hoofedly in charge of all of Equestria!”
“Those things aren’t mutually exclusive. Sure, yeah, she has the whole ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ thing going for her and all that junk, but she’s still just a pony, with all the same wants and needs we have.”
“…What are you saying exactly, Pommel?”
“I’m saying that you need to stop acting like she’s some holy deity made flesh and come down to Equestria to rule over us lowly mortals, and that serving her has to consume your whole damn life. She’s not a god, Night Light, and she doesn’t like being worshipped. She’s a grown mare that can take care of herself if you don’t happen to be at her beck and call twenty-four-seven.”
Night Light stared, dumbfounded at his longtime friend. He could barely believe what he was hearing. It was ridiculous, it was absurd, it was… it was borderline blasphemous. Princess Celestia was far, far more than just a regular pony. She had been around for well over a thousand years, many times the lifespan of even the longest-lived pony on record, and yet looked no older than thirty. The skies themselves bent to her will, literally. If she wasn’t a god, then she was very close. And it was his sworn duty as Captain of the Royal Guard to serve her above all others. If Pommel couldn’t see that, then… well, to blazes with him and his opinions, then!
“I’m sorry, Pommel, but the answer is still no,” he said, his tone one of absolute finality. “I can’t just go out drinking with you whenever you’re in the mood for it. My duty has to come first. If you don’t like it, then… then maybe you should start looking for somepony else to be your drinking buddy.”
Dead silence fell over the otherwise-deserted castle hallway. Even their hoof-steps ceased echoing off the walls as Pommel froze in place and Night Light stopped beside him, though he couldn’t bring himself to look over at his friend and see the obvious hurt and frustration etched onto his face.
“…Fine. Message received,” Pommel finally said after several agonizing seconds of silence, all friendliness gone from his voice and replaced by only stiff formality. “See you on shift tomorrow. Captain.”
Then just like that Pommel left, tipping his helmet cordially to his superior officer before his bat-like wings snapped open and carried him out the nearest open window, and it was all Night Light could do to simply watch him go and feel a troubling pang of hurt and guilt in the pit of his stomach. It had been the right thing to do, putting his hoof down like that, hadn’t it? He was almost positive of that. So why did he feel like he’d just made a horrible mistake?
In truth, Night Light suddenly worried that that was exactly what he’d just done. Pommel was one of his best, oldest friends. They’d known each other since primary school; Night Light had been a star student and jumped a couple of grades, and as a result had been relentlessly bullied by classmates years older than him. Pommel was the only pony who made him feel welcome in his new grade level, if for no other reason than the fact that he was an outcast too, thanks to his being born with the rare ‘bat-wing’ mutation that seemed to be the trademark of the Night Guard. But Night Light had appreciated the friendship nevertheless, and it had held strong for the fifteen years that followed, going through school together, through boot camp together, climbing the ranks of the Royal Guard together, even befriending Twilight Velvet together. Fifteen years, and now Night Light was pushing him away for a job he’d only been at for a matter of months? He took the job seriously, certainly, and perhaps he had taken a little perfectly justifiable offense to Pommel questioning the value of his duty to the Princess, but was that one sleight really worth their friendship ending?
Or, on the other hoof, was his friend drifting away from him? Was he hanging onto that care-free, party animal, no-longer-a-teenager-but-not-quite-an-adult mindset a little too long, and Night Light was outgrowing him? Was that even possible? Did ponies really outgrow friends that they’ve had for more than half their lives? He didn’t like to think so, but if Pommel refused to eventually grow up at least a little bit…
Well, whatever happened, he wasn’t likely to be able to do anything about it for a little while. Pommel was a reasonable enough pony, but he was a bit of a hot-head too. He just needed a bit of time to cool off, and then they could have a nice, calm discussion where Night Light laid all his duties out on the table and let Pommel know once and for all how things needed to be now that he was Captain of the Guard. Fun had its place, but drinking themselves into a stupor just wasn’t going to happen in the middle of a work week, and sooner or later Pommel needed to realize that and take his own job more seriously. With any luck perhaps he could finally instill the sense of duty and responsibility that was sorely lacking in that lazy colt. And maybe, if he was really lucky, it would rub off on a certain other pony they knew…
“Night Light! Hey! Night Light, wait up!”
Speak of the devil, Night Light thought with a grimace and a hint of a blush, both of which he hid quickly behind a polite smile before he turned to face the mare’s voice calling out to him.
Twilight Velvet was, as much as Night Light hated to admit it, every bit as pretty as Pommel (frequently) pointed out. From her two-toned silver and purple mane to her off-white coat and triple-star cutie mark to those damnably adorable eyes as bright and blue as a summer sky… she was the very embodiment of an attractive young mare. And unfortunately for him, she was also every bit as shamelessly flirty with and obviously attracted to him as Pommel (regularly) informed him. She always put a little extra sweetness in her tone than normal whenever she talked to him or said his name; she groomed herself even better than usual when she knew she was going to spend time with him; she even walked with an extra bit of wiggle in her hips when she knew he was behind her, or just happened to be looking her way. Twilight Velvet wanting Night Light was as obvious as the horns on their heads, and dodging her advances, something he’d been doing practically since they’d met, was harder than ever now that she worked at the palace too. He would have accused her of getting a job here just to tail after him, if it weren’t for the fact that she was a damn good librarian more than deserving of the opportunity to apprentice at the Royal Archives. As it was, it just made her that much more frustratingly sexy and difficult to resist, especially when she was so clearly offering herself to him…
“Good afternoon, Velvet,” Night Light greeted her, swiftly banishing those last few thoughts from the front of his brain. “How are you today?”
“Well, I’m fine,” she responded with a flirtatious giggle, “but you and Pommel don’t look quite so cheery.”
Night Light visibly winced. “Oh, you… ran into him, did you?”
“No, I just saw him fly by all scowley, and now here you are looking all sad and forlorn. Did you two have a fight or something?”
Night Light sighed softly. “That… nnnhhh, it’s nothing, really. Pommel’s just annoyed I don’t want to go out drinking with him every other night.”
“Aww, is that all?” Velvet practically cooed, sliding up uncomfortably close to him in no time at all and brushing her flank against his as she circled his body. “Well, he’s not the only one going… is there anything I can do to convince you? Anything at all…?”
Night Light just barely held in the blush that was threatening to give away his body’s interest. No small feat when she was flicking the tip of her tail tantalizingly across his nose, but he managed it. He couldn’t give in even an inch, or else he knew it would be all downhill from there. “I don’t think so, Velvet,” he finally said, his tone impressively level.
“Aww, you’re no fun, Night Light.” Velvet giggled again. “Come on, there has to be something that’ll get you out of this stuffy castle with us. What if I make Pommel promise not to get drunk this time?”
“I’d say that would take a small miracle,” Night Light answered, earning a full-on laugh from the young mare. Night Light had to gulp down a chuckle of his own and fight another telltale blush at the sound; her laugh was as adorable as it was infectious.
“Okay, fair enough,” she admitted, “Pommel not making a drunken scene of some kind is probably asking the impossible. But still, it’s been way too long since the last time we all hung out together. A couple of weeks, at least. It’s not like you have homework when you’re a guard, right? You can spend one evening out with us, can’t you? Pleeeeease…? For me…?”
“I really shouldn’t,” Night Light insisted, “and frankly neither should you, Velvet. Don’t you have more important things to do than go out partying? You have just as much on your plate these days as I do, if not more.”
“What, are you talking about the library?” Velvet smiled and waved a hoof dismissively. “Oh, it’s fine, Night Light. They’re just books and scrolls, they’re not going anywhere. I’m sure everything will be right where I left it when I get back tomorrow morning.”
“That’s completely missing the point, Velvet!” Night Light argued. “It’s not just books and scrolls, it’s the Royal Archives! It’s the biggest, most prestigious collection of knowledge and magic in Equestria! And you’re the pony who was talented enough to get a position there! Do you have any idea how many ponies would stampede right over you for a chance to be the Librarian’s Apprentice in the Royal Archives? You have an enormous opportunity here that you’ve earned for yourself, through hard work and dedication! You can’t come this far and then squander it all away now by putting in the bare minimum amount of work and partying every other night!”
For the first time Velvet’s smile faltered, and her giggling voice turned a bit tense. “Heh, hey, come on, Night Light, it’s really not that big a deal. I’m getting everything I need to do done, just because I’m not staying overtime doesn’t mean I’m not taking it serious--”
“Velvet, you’ve wanted this position your whole life! You should be putting the extra time in! Your superiors are going to look for that kind of thing, that’s how positions this high up work! Do you really want to lose your chance at a dream career so you can go gallivanting around town, drinking with Pommel and hitting on me every chance you get?!”
Velvet was getting visibly flustered now, and rightly so; it was the first time he had ever actually acknowledged her attempts to catch his eye, and it threw her, badly. “N-no, of course I don’t, but it won’t--”
“Then you need to put in the work to keep it!” Night Light cut her off. “You need to take more responsibility for the commitments you’ve made instead of… of wasting your time trying to get me between your legs!”
The soft pressure of her flank against his vanished instantly. When Night Light next met her gaze, she had recoiled several feet away, her eyes were filled with shock and anger and maybe even a little sadness, and her warm smile had disappeared completely. “…Is that all you think our relationship is? A waste of time…?”
“We don’t have a relationship!” Night Light found himself shouting.
“Well we’re friends, aren’t we? That’s a kind of relationship!” she fired back. “Or at least I thought we were…!”
“I didn’t say we…! That’s not what I…”
Night Light sputtered and fumbled for a coherent response, but to his surprise, Velvet turned away from him before he could form one, without the slightest trace of a mane-toss or a tail-flick or even a hip-wiggle. She just turned, and walked away.
“Velvet? Where are you going?”
“To meet up with Pommel, like I said I was going to. Just because you don’t want to see your friends doesn’t mean we’re going to call off the whole night,” she said without looking at him, her tone almost as chilly as Pommel’s had become. “If you change your mind, you know where to find us.”
And without so much as a goodbye or a coy wink or even a simple, platonic smile, Velvet rounded the corner at the end of the hallway and was gone, leaving Night Light to wonder dazedly how he had managed to anger his two best friends in the whole world to the breaking point within ten minutes of each other.
Something was very, very wrong here, Night Light knew that for a fact now. Pommel’s reaction alone, he could have overlooked; it was more dramatic than his friend normally got, but he didn’t have the best temper in the world, and by itself Night Light would have just written it off as a particularly short-tempered day for the guy. But Velvet… he couldn’t remember a single time she’d ever gotten truly upset with him before now. It just wasn’t something she did. She was always cool and collected and composed. Seeing her react like he’d just slapped her across the face… between that and Pommel’s especially grumpy response, Night Light had to wonder again, harder this time, if perhaps he was mistaken in his assertions.
Did they have a point? Was he really ignoring them? He didn’t have the free time he used to, none of them did, but they still seemed to find time to spend having fun. Was he, by contrast, blowing them off? Making excuses just a little too often? Throwing himself a bit too completely into his duty?
Velvet was right about one thing for certain, it had been a long time since they had all spent time together outside the palace. A couple of weeks had probably been an understatement; it was likely closer to a month or more. Would it really hurt anypony if he took one night off instead of working late? He’d be technically off-duty around sunset anyway, and Captain of the Guard though he might have been, he was certainly not the only guard-pony in the whole castle. There were more than enough of his own soldiers and the Night Guard present to handle anything that came up, and they could always summon him in the event of a true emergency. Surely he could spare just one evening away from the palace, to make his friends happy… the Princess would understand…
But just as that thought crossed his mind and brought him to the brink of relenting, a shadow passed over his head and dropped a scroll on his muzzle.
“Guh…? What the…?” Night Light muttered, ignoring the scroll for a moment as it bounced off his nose and rolled to the floor, and looked up instead at the offending shadow. A shock of fiery plumage and a soft caw of greeting told him all he needed to know; it was Philomena, Princess Celestia’s pet phoenix, swooping back over his head and cawing again before soaring out the same window she’d entered from, toward the Princess’ personal chambers atop one of the castle’s tallest towers.
Night Light was paying the bird no further attention, however; the moment he’d recognized the creature, his focus had shifted to the scroll on the floor. If Philomena was bringing him anything, there was only one pony whom it could possibly be from; and sure enough, when Night Light plucked the scroll from the floor in a blue haze of Unicorn magic, he saw that it was bound by the royal seal of Princess Celestia herself. Not from an intermediary, not from the royal court, not from anypony else; it was her personal seal. It was a message directly from her.
Night Light felt a jolt of trepidation, wondering what could possibly prompt the Princess of Equestria to message him directly, but his rigorous training ensured no such nerves showed through to the surface. Without further hesitation he broke the seal and unfurled the scroll in a single fluid pulse of blue magic, revealing the elegant quill-strokes of his ruler.
Night Light,
There is an important matter I wish to discuss with you.
If you are available, please meet me in my chambers following the sunset.
Inform nopony else.
- Celestia
Night Light frowned a little, reading over the short letter twice more to make sure he had absorbed every word before rolling it up again and tucking it safely inside his armor. It was an… odd request, to say the least, and not merely because it was the most informally-worded royal missive he’d ever read. It was after his shift would normally be over, even though Princess Celestia had never before requested anything of him beyond that time no matter how late he actually remained on duty. Further, generally only the most trusted of the Princess’ service staff were ever allowed in her private chambers; the guards remained outside those doors at all times. Even he himself had only been inside a scant hoof-full of times, and strictly by her instruction only. The secrecy, too, was unusual. The Princess was not normally a secretive pony, from what he had experienced in serving her so far. No more than any other pony, in any case. What could she need from him that nopony else was allowed to know about? There weren’t many reasonable possibilities coming to Night Light’s mind.
It must be some sort of important national secret, he ultimately decided. It had to be. There was no other sensible explanation. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what that secret might be – undercover treaties with the Griffon tribes? Threat of a Changeling attack? An attempt at blackmail against a member of the Princess’ court? – but whatever it was, it was clearly important.
Night Light couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride and vindication roll through him; he’d been absolutely right to hold to his duty, that was obvious now. There was no way in the world he could have gone out partying on a night when the Princess herself was directly asking for him and placing her trust in him, and he couldn’t believe that he had nearly done so, that he had nearly been guilt-tripped into ditching his duty. How many ponies could say they had the implicit trust of Princess Celestia? Blowing off a gesture like that for a night of foal-sitting his drunken friends was unthinkable.
Night Light glanced out the nearest window at the slowly setting sun. It would be fully beyond the horizon and replaced by the moon within the hour. Just enough time to finish his rounds. With an urgent spring in his step now, Night Light resumed a brisk trot and got back to work.
Next Chapter: Chapter Three: For Your Eyes Only Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 28 Minutes