The cool, crisp wind of a Tuesday afternoon blew back Fancypants' blonde mane dramatically as he tapped a hoof on his air-yacht's helm. I really should get this moved somewhere with cover, he thought, grimacing as the purple...whale...balloon...monstrosity's flimsy rope supports flicked back and forth perilously in the breeze. I should definitely re-read that manual on aeronautical terminology later, he thought, mentally cursing his inability to remember the name of half the parts of the air-yacht he'd owned for nearly a week now. Although, in retrospect, Fancypants had to admit that buying the ship just because "the Daedalus" sounded like a nifty name at the time without much prior knowledge of aeronautical crafts probably hadn't been the best idea.

Fancypants' marefriend Fleur-Du-Lis, on the other hoof, seemed completely unaffected by the unending onslaught of chilling wind, and also seemingly completely unaware of the hideous purple abomination perched atop the air-yacht, which most likely would have traumatized any onlooking children below, provided there were any, and also wasn't particuarly interested in the fine details of aeronautics. Fleur was, however, greatly aware of the poor stallion who's spine she was getting progressively closer to forcibly dislocating via hug. Fleur had always had some...issues with personal space. Quirks, Fancypants corrected, just odd, incredibly minor quirks.

Of course, regardless of the fact that they were simply quirks, it was still rather irksome that she adamantly refused to let go of him for even a moment.

But, besides that, things were going perfectly fine. After that unfortunate little incident a couple days ago with Tealove and the socks, Fancypants had decided the absolute best possible way to shake some of the psychosis out of his system would be a nice, relaxing air-yacht ride. And so, after collecting Fleur from her apartment, Fancypants set off. Miles above the grand, rolling hills a couple miles outside of Canterlot, specifically. And there was a lovely spot just a couple knots away where he could have the air-yacht descend, and perhaps set up a nice little picnic, chat with Fleur some more, inquire about that one lemon salesmare from Manehatten, and just admire the splendorous beauty of na-KRA-KOOOOOM

"Oh dear," he muttered, breaking free of Fleur's death-grip for a moment to look over the side of the ship to check for any possible damage. "Fleur, could you please check the interior for-oh no."

Off the bulwark (or whatever), a large air-boat emerged from the clouds. It's wood glistened in the sunlight that peeked through the gaps in the clouds, speckled here and there with the blood of it's victims (actually painfully obvious red paint). It's sail was a pitch-black, tattered sheet stretched across a mast, bearing a cartoonish skull in the center. The name of the craft, "The Good Airship Lollipop", was emblazoned upon the whatever the aeronautical term for "side of a ship" is. Fancypants silently mourned the screaming death of good plays-on-words.

A ragged looking brown stallion with a matted mane tucked haphazardly under a massive black hat stepped into view, his eyes bearing enough bags to hold up an airport. "Good mornin', campers!"

"Good morning, Hackey Sack," Fancypants said with a sigh. He'd been through this before. "How are things?"

"Oh, things are going great, Fancy! Especially now that you stole my ship."

"I never stole your ship, Hackey. There was an auction, and you wouldn't stop offering bottlecaps, used candy wrappers, and algae for an thousand bit air-yacht. Maybe if you laid off the heavy cider for a little while, you'd be able to recall that."

"C'mon now, I haven't had cider in at least a week!" Hackey said indignantly, stamping a hoof.

"Then why is there a barrel of it right over there?" Fancypants said, pointing a hoof.

"Where?!" Hackey said, worriedly glancing around his ship. As he turned, Fancypants quickly swung a nearby pole at the marauder's head, prompting Hackey to duck.

"'Ey now, I'm not fallin' for that again!" Hackey said, grabbing the pole in his teeth.

"And it only took you five times," Fleur said, leaning against the Daedalus' mast. "Simply marvelous."

"So either hand over the ship," Hackey said, chucking the pole overboard, "Or I'll...uh...challenge you to a duel or something. For the ship."

"Neither of us have proper dueling weapons, and you'd be at a severe disadvantage."

There was a moment of silence, as Hackey seemed to enter a state of deep thought. Now there's a first.

"Well, uh, I could...kidnap your friend there, or...something." Hackey said, scratching his neck with a hoof.

"And then I'd promptly buck you in the teeth," Fleur said, stretching a hind leg.

Silence reigned again.

"Well bugger," Hackey said, kicking the floor, "I dunno what to do. I've done tried damn near everything."

"I'd recommend getting help," Fancypants said, "I've got plenty of money, I could check you into a program, get you in touch with some people that could make you less of a babbling, alcoholic lunatic that lives in a carriage."

"Never!" Hackey said, pointing a hoof at Fancypants, "We're mortal enemies, Mister Pants. I could never live with myself if I accepted charity from the likes of you!"

"He could also bash you over the head with something and drag your unconscious body to the police for the second time this month," Fleur offered.

Hackey blinked.

"...Awrite, yeah, help sounds nice."

"Well, grand!" Fancypants said, heading back to the helm, "Let's just head on back to Canterlot and-"

At that moment, Fancypants suddenly noticed that, while he had been talking with Hackey, the Daedalus drifted into the proximity of the (conveniently labeled via large sign) Mountains of Sharp and Pointy Rocks.

"Oh dear."

"You know Fleur, I honestly think that things worked out rather well, don't you?" Fancypants smiled somewhat, his face aching from the movement. "I mean sure, the Daedalus is going to need some minor repairs, but I'm positive that as soon as Hackey's out of the intensive care unit, he'll be on the road to really cleaning up his life."

"If I wasn't in a full-body cast right now, I would strangle you."

"Love you too."