A distant clocktower tolled two in the morning, and as Sky crept toward the threshold of Shady’s part of town, she really began to feel the fatigue setting in. She caught herself blinking excessively, her legs shaking just a little as she forged onwards. The trouble with being an adult, Sky mused, was that when shit like tonight’s events goes down, you aren’t bound by bedtimes anymore.

The city seemed more quiet, a rather grim pallor floating overhead like some idiot on the weather team misplaced the biggest cloud they could find. Sky felt an overwhelming sense of foreboding, like everything that had transpired thus far was setting the scene for a most unpleasant adventure that she could possibly imagine. The theft of magical superweapons, her framing, the fact that her two least favourite rivals in the whole world were in some way connected, all of it stank of some horrible conspiracy to Sky, and apparently she was a fall pony for whoever was behind this. That made this even more difficult, since Sky didn’t really have enough hooves to count off how many ponies she’d managed to piss off over the years. Really, thought she, anypony could be behind this whole mess, even if it was simply for the sake of getting back at her for some grievance that even she probably couldn’t remember. The implications of all that had occurred tonight troubled Sky to no end, forcing her to ruminate on the many successful heists she’d completed, the nature of karma and revenge, and her place is an uncaring world where she was at the bottom of the food chain. Such thoughts terrified her to no end.
“Bugger.” she grunted.

Stuck to a nearby wall was a wanted poster. There were a lot of them spread across the city for her, but this one looked new. The little white pony frowned, trotting up to it and examining whatever list of offences they were determined to pin on her this time.

Wanted, for the crimes of theft, larceny, assault, obstruction of justice, soliciting sex, allowing others to solicit sex from her, fleeing from the Royal Guard, Grand Theft Carriage, terrorism...
Sky nodded, cracking a grin. A moment later, the grin disappeared as fast as it had come. “Wait, terrorism? Since fucking when?” she frowned, reading further into it.
Sky Runner is wanted alive for questioning over the disappearance of twelve Crystal Empire Focussing Gems, incredibly dangerous magical artifacts that can be used in the construction of several magical superweapons, including megaspells. Any information that helps bring this criminal to justice will be rewarded.
“Oh bollocks.” Sky muttered, pulling the poster off of the wall in the vain hope that it would in some way take away from her notoriety. She’d been on the run from the guards for as long as she could remember, but she’d always had a line in the sand. Never kill another pony, never do anything that gets the Equestrian Intelligence Agency on her ass. Depending on what the hell whoever had actually taken those crystals had planned, Sky figured that she was about to be accused of something that she could lie, pick or fuck her way out of. In short…
This isn’t good…

She froze where she stood, ears perking. The big clompy sound of a guard patrol echoed off in the distance, at least five blocks away. This sounded more like the swish of wings. Sky tried to blend in with her background as the pony came in to land nearby, but it was too late. Whoever it was, they’d already spotted her.
“Hey Sky!” Sparky piped up, trotting into the moonlight where she could see him properly. He didn’t look like he’d had a good night. At some point during the course of the night, he’d acquired a black eye, and a lot of his feathers were broken or bent, sticking out at odd angles. Nonetheless, he advanced on Sky with a businesslike gait, full of purpose.
“Oh, hey Sparky.” Sky smiled softly, more than a little relieved. “How’d you get out of Screwdriver’s place?”
“It’s like you taught me! Kick ‘em in the nads and run for it!” Sparkly chuckled. “And...speaking of things you told me, I believe you promised me something…”
“What, now?” Sky looked around. “I’m...kinda in the middle of something right now.”
“Maybe I wasn’t clear!” Sparky stepped forward, pinning her against the wall. “I’ve had a really crap night because of the shit you stirred up in the bar, and now I wanna blow off some steam.”
“Erm…clop to something, then?” Sky suggested, giving him a cheesy grin. She knew she wasn’t as strong as he was, and he had her right where he wanted her. She’d have to pull something pretty clever to get out of this one.
“Yeah, I don’t think so.” Sparky shook his head. His alcohol-infused breath filled her nostrils, a heavy, hungry panting that made her want to retch.
Shit, I’ve got to get him off of me...quick, if I was him, what would kill my boner faster than anything else in the world?
Sky’s expression of reluctant fear turned into one of victorious cunning as the answer came to her.
Commitment.
“Well, you know…” she grinned mischievously. “If you fuck me, you’ve gotta become my coltfriend…”
“Come again?” Sparky paused, frowning.
“Yeah! You fuck me, you’ve gotta bring me presents and chocolate and tell me how beautiful I am every single day!” Sky was grasping at straws, her only concept of a relationship born from the issues of Cosmarepolitan that she’d picked up a few months ago. “And you’ll have to get a real job too. No more of this pyromania stuff!”
“Wait, no more pyro…?” Sparky struggled with the concept of a world without him setting things on fire, backing away a little. Sky advanced on him now, prowling like a predator.
“Yeah, and you’ll just love the things I can do with a fork and your dick! Trust me, the sex is gonna be wild...if you tell me you love me…”
“Wha...what do you...I mean, this is all going a bit fast, don’t you reckon?” Sparky backed away a little more, tripping on his own tail and landing on his flanks.
“Things can never go too fast when you’re in love!” Sky smiled, muzzle inches away from his. She was so small compared to him, only reaching his shoulder, but she had this stallion just where she wanted him. “So...when you get a ring…”
“Wait, ring?” Sparky panicked, eyes widening.
“Yeah! I mean, you can’t propose to a pony without a ring, can you?” Sky beamed, nuzzling his chest and putting her good wing around his back. “And you are gonna marry me, right?”
“I...can we see a marriage counsellor? I wanna talk about your abandonment issues…” Sparky squeaked.
“No...no, you’re not getting away!” Sky hugged him tightly, keeping him in a vice-like grip. “We’re gonna have so many foals together, and you get to have a real job, and I can help you lose a few pounds, and get a manecut, and…”
“Oh Luna, kill me now…” Sparky whispered, his tail between his legs.
“I love you, new husband!” Sky smiled brightly, hugging him super-tight. If she was a bigger pony, she’d have broken his ribs by now.
“No! I don’t wanna be a husband! Fuck off!” Sparky squealed like a frightened little filly, shoving Sky away and taking off down the road.
The little burglar looked up at a nearby clock tower.
Yeah...I’ve got some free time…

Sparky kept running until his pursuer was out of sight, panting heavily. He’d momentarily forgotten that he had working wings, too terrified to even flap them as he galloped down a dark alley. Skidding into a dead end, he glanced around worriedly before diving into a dumpster.
“Phew…” he muttered, taking a moment to relax in the peaceful darkness.
There was a rustling next to him. Probably rats. Sparky took out his trusty little matchbox and lit one up, trying to scare them off.
Before him was a little white pony nose. The rustling noise was the sound of her wings unfurling. Initially, it appeared as if something was incredibly wrong with her face, like she was missing her eyes. As he raised his match a little, he saw something far worse. It was a pony with a red mane wearing a wedding veil.
“Hey new husband!” Sky beamed at him in the dim light, inches from his muzzle.
“OH FUCK NO!” Sparky gave girly shriek, exploding out of the dumpster and taking off, rocketing up onto the rooftops. He didn’t stop flapping until he was a good few blocks away, finally sitting back against a chimney and allowing himself a few moments peace.
A little fishing hook descended from atop the chimney, affixing itself around his tail. The fisherpony started winding the rod back, lifting Sparky into the air by his tail.
It was a moment or two before the stallion realised what was happening to him, and another moment still before he started wildly struggling. Alas, it was too little too late, and he found himself hanging upside down, staring right into the cold merciless eyes of a love-smitten Sky with a fishing rod.
“Hey Mister Sky Runner!” She grinned, trying her best not to burst out laughing at the terrified pony.
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Sparky cried, unhooking himself and dashing off down the street. He tore down the street, eyes darting around looking for somewhere to hide. He spotted a promising shop, diving through the front window with a loud crash. Finally, he was left in the darkness.
That mare’s fucking crazy… He thought to himself, getting shakily to his hooves and venturing further into the shop. Looked like some kind of mares’ clothing store or something. Sparky wasn’t familiar with that sort of thing, so he found himself ignoring all of the dresses in the showroom. All that mattered right now was hiding from that mad bitch.
He reached the middle of the shop before a terrible, hideous thought struck him.
“Wait...what kind of mares’ clothing store is this?” he whispered.
With trembling hooves and his tail between his legs, he shakily lit another match.

He was surrounded by mannequins, all of them wearing the latest wedding dresses. Sparky’s ears splayed back as he gazed at the scene around him in abject terror. He knew right away that Sky was in here somewhere, and she was watching him, prowling around him somewhere out of sight.
“Sk...Sky?” He ventured, his ears swivelling a little. The dim light cast by his match cast flickering shadows around the eerie shop. He jumped a little at every movement, peering for the longest time into the darkness to try and catch his pursuer out.
Fuck...my nerves are getting the best of me…
Sparky froze, ears flat against his skull. There was a horrible sound about the shop, without any obvious source to it. It was that of low, rasping heavy breathing.
“Sky?” He repeated, backing away from the front of the shop. The noise seemed to be coming from everywhere, It enveloped him, driving him back into the darkest corner of the shop he could find. Sparky dropped his match, leaving it flickering in the centre of the showroom.
“Sky, this isn’t funny. Come on, I give up! Please leave me alone...please?” he whimpered. As he backed away, Sparky found that the noise was easier to follow, that it was finally emanating from a fixed point; a shadowy mannequin with its face masked in darkness. Gulping nervously, the orange stallion approached it.
He’d clearly not seen enough horror movies in his time to fully appreciate what an incredibly stupid idea this was.
Tentatively, he gave the mannequin a tap on the forehead.
It was plastic.
“What the hell…?” he began.
Sparky didn’t get to finish his sentence, for it was at that moment that a mad mare wearing a wedding veil chose to pounce him from behind.
He didn’t react immediately, the overwhelming sense of dread starting at his hooves and working its way up and across his whole body. Finally, his ears perked as the mare leaned in, whispering.
“Isn’t this great, Sparky? Now you and I can be together forever…” Sky grinned an evil grin.
“No...I don’t want...I mean…” The stallion protested weakly, before finally flopping to the floor and passing out.
“Oh come on, I would’ve thought you’d last longer than that.” Sky pouted, clambering off of his prone form and dropping the veil onto his head. She gave the unconscious stallion a little peck on the cheek before trotting out of the shop.
“It’ll be a snowy day in Tartarus before I go in there again.” Sky chuckled as she went on her merry way.

A pony like her, she mused, was not one best suited to relationships. She was wild and free and other cliched words that somehow gave her the right to steal everything her potential suitors held dear. At any rate, she’d tried once or twice, and the little feathery bastard she lived with had always made it a living hell for anypony she brought home. It wasn’t necessarily Shadow’s fault. She just tended to make other ponies uncomfortable. It didn’t matter how hard she tried, or whether she did that thing where she hid her head under her own wing and peeked out through her feathers, she just never seemed to get a good reaction out of anypony she met.
The running commentary she gives from outside my bedroom door when I’m getting laid probably doesn’t help, either… Sky facehoofed.
Well, Shadow’s terrible sense of humour aside, Sky was set on being alone. It was way more fun that way. She never had to tidy up, or brush her mane, or any of that other shit. She didn’t like being tied down...well, at least not in that way.

Sky dispelled her ruminations as she crossed the invisible threshold into Shady’s part of town. This was a pretty dangerous move she was making. Burglars weren’t supposed to encroach on each others’ territory. It was one of the few customs that ponies in their line of work observed, a kind of unwritten understanding that everypony had reached. There was an invisible line in the sand that no one was allowed to cross, and Sky had just pranced right over it.
In fairness, thought she, Shady and Nightshade had both pranced across it into her part of the city that very same night. As far as Sky was concerned, this was just balancing the scales a little, that’s all.

Pulling her hood further over her head to mask her mane, Sky disappeared into an alley that looked much like any other. Her hoof-steps were dead silent with her wings spread, her padded hooves muffled against the cobblestones. She knew this path well enough, a rather unpleasant and smelly path to Shady’s hideout. It wasn’t that she made a habit of crossing into this part of town, but those two were...well...not exactly subtle. They were brutes, first and foremost. It was fair to say that they were as sneaky as Cerberus tripping over a drum kit.
It wasn’t long before the stench of dodgy Zebrican takeout overwhelmed her. She stepped out into a courtyard, surrounded on all sides by big old apartment buildings. Only one of them still had its lights on, a ground floor tenement with the front door ripped off of its hinges.
Well, at least they’ve got free air conditioning...not that it seems to be doing anything about the smell… Sky scrunched her snout as she crept forward. This was probably the stupidest thing she’d done tonight, but curiosity and a desire to clear her name drove her onward.
There was a crunching sound, like a heavy hoof coming down on a bottle, and a moment later something picked Sky up by the back of the neck, slinging her round and slamming her against the stone wall of the courtyard. Sky was stunned by the impact for a moment, unable to see or hear, though she could feel the hoof at her throat all too vividly. When her eyesight gradually came back, she found herself face to face with Nightshade again, holding a broken bottle in one hoof and her neck in the other.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” He growled. There was none of that snarkiness or dry humour in his voice anymore, just the drunken anger of a disturbed alcoholic.
Sky tried to answer, but he was crushing her windpipe. She struggled against the much stronger stallion, beating her weak damaged wings uselessly to try and free herself. Sky knew that she was in big trouble.There was no way that she was going to beat him in a contest of strength, and this time she didn’t have anypony to help her.
Her forehooves ventured back into her cloak, pulling out a small glass orb. She had to be quick. Her vision was starting to cloud again, on the verge of blacking out. Choking and wheezing, the little pony threw the orb at the ground between them with whatever strength she had left.
It cracked open, filling the air with thick black smoke. Nightshade yelped, breathing in the fumes and coughing violently. With the focus off of pinning her, Sky pulled herself free, dropping to the ground and massaging her throat.
Fuck me, that asshole’s got no fucking manners…
Sky wheeled around and raised her flanks up, balancing on her front legs as she took careful aim. With a loud grunt, she bucked Nightshade right in the bollocks.
The stallion didn’t go down as fast as anypony else would after taking a pair of hooves straight to the band candy. Nightshade buckled over onto his muzzle, landing on it with a thoroughly unpleasant crunching sound, but he wasn’t out yet. He whirled around, nose absolutely gushing blood, trying to focus on the little white mare in front of him. Stamping his forehoof on the ground, Nightshade gave a roar, lunging at her.
Sky galloped away ahead of him, but any escape plans she might have had were confounded by the high walls around her. They were far too big for her to leap up, and Nightshade was between her and the alley entrance. Worse still, Shady probably heard his son yelling outside, and might well be coming out to see what all the fuss is about.
That was all the excuse Sky needed. Rummaging in her bandolier, she pulled out a blue dart and jammed it into her hoof crossbow. Just before she hit the courtyard wall, she spun around, launching the dart at her pursuer and diving out of the way.

As the dust settled, Sky picked herself up and examined Nightshade, who’d managed to knock himself out cold against the wall like some kind of incredibly bad boss fight. She pulled the now-empty dart casing out of his chest. The blue formula was one of her very favourites, and she always loved watching the transformation take place. Nonetheless, as she looked over his prone form, muzzle covered in blood just like her own, an idea struck her.
“Hey Nightshade…” she whispered, shuffling closer to him and pulling out a bottle of red mane dye. “How would you like to be me for a day?”

Shady burst out of the apartment, looking around the courtyard for the source of the scream with his small piggy eyes. He was a big, rotund stallion, his burglar’s mask apparently permanently glued to his face in case somepony mistook him for a full-time alcoholic. When he spied a red-maned white mare with a bloody nose shakily getting to her hooves before him, he stamped the ground and growled furiously. “OI! I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN PRISON!”
“Wha…what the fuck are you on about?” Nightshade replied, before giving a terrified squeak and clapping his hooves over his mouth. His voice was, to put it delicately, not as male as it once had been.
Shady looked the mare up and down, his face a mask of absolute barely controlled rage. “You fucking thought you could sneak into my part of town, did ya?” He charged the small pony, scooping her up in his forehooves and throwing her into the stone wall.
“No! Wait! It’s Nightshade!” The mare squealed.
“What, you think I’m gonna fall for that?” Shady laughed madly. “You’re fucking dead, bitch…”

As Shady began whaling on his gender-swapped son, Sky took the opportunity to slip out of the shadows and into the apartment.

Sky wrapped her cloak around her muzzle as she stepped inside, overwhelmed by the stench of stale beer and equine filth.
Blimey, and I thought I was messy… She mused, stepping lightly over multitudes of discarded bottles and cans. The home of a messy stallion was more obstacle-laden than a net of magical laser tripwires protecting the world’s fanciest vault, and Sky was wary that any noise that she made might call Shady back into the apartment. In actual fact, she probably could have waltzed through here as a one-pony marching band and wouldn’t be heard over the sound of shrieking and thumping from outside.
“Not so witty now, are you bitch?” Shady roared from out in the courtyard.
Sky stifled a giggle. In another life, she’d have felt sorry for Nightshade, but he’d done some pretty unforgivable shit over the years. Her sympathy had gone completely out of the window quite a while ago.
She kept her eyes peeled as she ventured further into the burglars’ den, looking for anything incriminating. Of course, being as they were burglars, she couldn’t take more than two steps without finding something that those two ponies perhaps shouldn’t have in their possession. However, there was no sign of the crystals. They weren’t even in Shady’s saddlebags. Frowning, she rifled around in his cloak, which had been left draped over a mouldy old couch.
There was a crinkling sound as her hoof met something that felt like paper.
Ooh, this feels promising… Sky thought to herself, whipping the piece of paper out of his cloak and reading over it.

Shady,

You have been selected to take part in a heist that will change Equestria as we know it. Your part in all of this is simple - break into the Canterlot Museum, steal the full set of twelve focussing crystals, and then meet with our agent in the alley behind Screwdriver’s. For acquiring these crystals, you will be compensated 30,000 bits, but only on condition that all of the crystals are delivered intact.

Sky looked at the foot of the letter, hoping to find some kind of signature, but all she could see was a monogram, the letters “RT.”
Thirty thousand bits...holy shit, whoever’s behind this has some serious cash… Sky mused. This was getting more concerning by the minute, but at least now she had that monogram. It was a way forward.
Sneaking out the back of the apartment, Sky started flapping her wings, getting up to a full gallop as she hit a straightaway. It was time to head home and work out where to go from here.