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Canterlot Burglar

by Happycamper

Chapter 61: The Alchemist In The Woods

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“Thanks for helping us out back there, Makali,” said Rat, trotting alongside the zebra. “Sky’d gotten us completely lost.”

“Bite me!” Sky replied in a sing-song voice.

“It was really nothing, pony-folk,” Makali smiled, “it’s nice to finally talk again!”

Sky and Rat exchanged a worried glance.

“You know, that wasn’t a rhyme,” Rat pointed out.

“Oh…” Makali said, stopping in his tracks, “er...would you believe it if I said…?”

“Cut the crap, Makali. I’ve been to Zebrica. Not all zebras rhyme.” Rat snickered. “Hey, Sky, how’s your little prisoner doing?”

“She’s okay! Just like a little angel!” Sky beamed, looking up at the snoring earth pony on her back. Daybreak smiled softly in her sleep, her little hooves twitching from time to time as she slumbered. Silver sat atop her in turn, tied up so securely that he was little more than an irate head poking out from atop a mass of rope.

“When I get my real body back, you’re going to suffer. I do hope that you realise that,” Silver commented.

“Thanks for that! I’ll remember it when I’m a free mare living the high life!” Sky replied, bouncing her flanks a little to unseat him. “So, Makali, we’re looking for something to help deal with these weird ponies who can resist sleep darts and heal through...well...anything. Any ideas?”

“Wait, you mean that somepony perfected it?” Makali asked, raising an eyebrow. “Well that’s...er...shit.”

“You’re a crap rhymer.” Sky and Rat said in unison. They exchanged another glance before looking away, blushing hotly.

“Yeah, well excuse me if I can’t bust out my A-grade material when I wasn’t expecting to meet a pair of mad ponies today!” Makali protested. “In fact, maybe you two ought to be doing more of the talking! What are these super-healing ponies, anyway?”

“Ask him,” Sky said, nodding at the tied-up little dragon.

“Torture me or yell at me. I’ll never talk!” Silver growled.

“Oh, you will,” Makali smiled. “You are Silver Tongue, correct?”

“Yes, and what’s it to you?” Silver said, glaring.

“I used to be one of your chief weapons designers...though I’m sure you wouldn’t remember me. You had me fired because of my...crippling fur condition.” He grinned, gesturing to his stripes.

“That’s completely taken out of context!”

“You told me to go build a hut in the Everfree Forest and take a break from civilisation because the city clearly wasn’t the right environment for me.” Makali chuckled.

Sky and Rat looked around at Silver, raising their eyebrows.

“Oh...okay, yes, I did say that…” Silver sighed, “but you have to see it from my perspective. I was really drunk, you were doing really unethical things…”

“Like framing ponies for robbery?” Sky put in.

“And sending super-soldiers after them?” Rat added.

“And wrecking buildings and causing ridiculous collateral damage?” Sky finished.

“More unethical than that,” Silver countered, looking away. “I’m talking about building weapons that could stop ponies from being able to heal, weapons that would do incredible damage to ponies’ limbs and leave them completely unable to help themselves. Do those sound familiar, Mister Makali?”

“Yes, they do,” the zebra nodded, “but even after I made those weapons for you, that wasn’t the reason I was fired.”

Sky gave Makali a long look, casting a quick glance back at her wing.

Surely he didn’t…?

She looked across at Rat, who stared back at her with a worried expression. Evidently he was on the same wavelength.

“You worked for this guy, Makali?” Rat asked.

“Oh, yes. He was an excellent employer. All of the materials and funding I asked for, good benefits...all it cost me was my soul...and my freedom.” Makali shrugged. “A small price to pay, right?”

“You seem pretty knowledgeable about weapons, Makali,” said Rat, giving the zebra a long look. “Don’t suppose you could take a look at my friend’s wing? She told me that she got it perforated by something like that.”

“I sincerely hope not,” Makali huffed as he stepped into another clearing. “The sort of weapons I made were as unpleasant as you could wish to avoid. Anyway, here we are.”

Sky and Rat looked up at a vast tree that dominated the centre of the clearing, far thicker than the surrounding flora with a big wooden spiral staircase cut into the trunk. At the top sat a large shack, a thousand little conical flasks hanging off of the edges of the roof, each with a different coloured fluid within. They lent an eerie light to the walls of the hut, making it look like a confusing mix of voodoo hut and Santa’s grotto.

“You’ve got one hell of an interesting house,” Rat commented, as Makali led the way up the stairs.

“Yes, well, it’s nice and secluded and allows me to focus on my work,” Makali said with a shrug.

“And that work is?”

“Alchemical,” Makali said simply. “I make potions and...well...weapons. Of course, I don’t exactly get that many clients out here,” he added with a chuckle.

“I figured,” Sky put in, as he led them up onto the balcony outside his front door. “Where should I put this down? This bitch is heavy as hell.”

“Just pop her down on the porch. Trust me, she’s got nowhere to run to around here,” Makali said, waving a hoof dismissively as he swung the door wide open.

The hut within had the aesthetic of an old shaman’s house, save for a few workbenches and chemistry sets that seemed to have leapt straight out of a science fiction novel. All manner of colourful fluids bubbled in their little containers, giving the otherwise spartan surroundings the look of a well-lit nightclub.

“So, feel free to get settled in!” Makali said, beaming. “You must have had a hard journey to come this deep into the Everfree Forest with all of your limbs attached. Well…” he trailed off, eyeing Sky’s wing, “most of them, anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah. Very funny,” Sky huffed. “We’re looking for some Poison Joke. I don’t suppose you can help us out?”

“Poison Joke? Oh, yes! For the enhanced ponies!” Makali said, nodding briskly as he pulled his hood back. “Well, you’re a smart pony if you’ve managed to work that out. Poison Joke is a magical disassociation agent...and assuming that you have another alchemical formula to mix it with…”

“I do,” Sky nodded, gesturing at her bandolier.

“Oh, you’re an alchemist, too?” Makali beamed excitedly. “Well, you have just got to try some of my recipes on for size. I think you’ll find them absolutely riveting!”

“Eep!” Sky squeaked, as Makali grabbed her by the wing to show her his lab. “Er...Rat, you coming?”

“Not just yet,” Rat replied, shaking his head. “I think I’m gonna have a talk with our friendly little guest, first.”

Giving his marefriend a little grin as she was dragged away, Rat trotted out onto the balcony once more. Daybreak snored away, Silver perched atop her head with a grim little frown.

“You mind if I wake your friend?” Rat asked.

“She’s not my friend,” Silver growled. “Say what you like to her. I assure you that she’s got nothing of importance to say, herself.”

“Harsh,” Rat whistled, tussling Silver’s crest as he leant down to nuzzle Daybreak’s cheek. “Hey, sleepyhead. I’ve got a couple of questions for you and you’d better be ready to answer them.”

Daybreak scrunched her snout, snorting in her sleep before finally opening her tired reddened eyes. “Wha...what? Oh Celestia, it’s not a pop quiz, is it? I didn’t study, sir...please don’t punish me…”

“We’ll see about your punishment later,” Rat said with a cheeky grin, “for now, I wanna find out why Stronghooves has your trekking into the Everfree Forest to hunt us down.”

Daybreak blinked, shivering a little as she regained full consciousness and looked up at Rat Racer. She tugged at her bonds, trying to break free of them, to somehow get out so she could complete her mission, but it was no use. Whatever Makali had done to her, it had completely drained her powers.

“I’m in the shit, aren’t I?” Daybreak asked.

Rat and Silver nodded in unison.

“Balls,” she sighed. “Okay, er, is this when I’m supposed to say that you’ll never make me talk?”

“Probably,” Rat conceded, “but then I’d have to get pretty mean, and I’ve kinda gotten the impression that you’re a smart pony with her heart in the right place.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You hesitated when you started hurting Sky, and you’ve got a sense of humour,” Rat said with a small grin. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Well, duh! I’m sure as hell not evil!” Daybreak scoffed. “My thing is making ponies feel better! I’m not gonna drown or beat up somepony who doesn’t deserve it!”

“That’s what I thought,” Rat winked. “Okay, so your thing is helping ponies, right? Where does hunting Sky and me come into this?”

“I’m not trying to do her any harm, I swear!” Daybreak said with a smile. “I just want to make her better. I wanna reunite her with her big brother, make everything okay again, you know?”

“So Stronghooves sent you,” Rat said, nodding. “I guess you’ve hung out with him more than I have. What’s he like?”

“Dreamy…” Daybreak crooned. “I mean, he’s kind of hurt inside and stuff, but he’s brave and strong and always seems to know what he’s doing. Why?”

“I’ve...met him,” Rat muttered. “I can’t place it, but he leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

“How do you figure?”

“He told me that he was gonna be open with me, show me everything I needed to know to help Sky, and then he hid stuff from me. Stuff about how they really fell out, stuff like sending you after me.”

“Wait, he wanted you to help her, too?” Daybreak asked, cocking her head. “No offence, but you’re kind of...a scummy little burglar.”

“Maybe,” Rat admitted, “but I’m her coltfriend and I’m gonna make her happy one way or another.”

“Oh, you two really are together?” Daybreak squeaked, eyes lighting up excitedly. “Oh, wow! I was just teasing back in the clearing! I thought you two were just friends with unspoken burgeoning feelings for each other!”

“Yeah, well, my writer sucks at pacing romance,” Rat deadpanned. “Yes, I’m her coltfriend, and from the sounds of it, you and I want the same thing...and we’ve both been lied to.”

“Hoovesie wouldn’t do that,” Daybreak protested, though by the way she frowned, Rat could tell that she was trying to convince herself more than him.

“What’s your name?” Rat asked.

“Daybreak.”

“Well, Daybreak, try to think. Is there anything Stronghooves said that’s made you...I dunno...concerned?”

“Well, there was…” Daybreak began, before scrunching her snout and promptly clamming up, “I’m not gonna tell you! How the hell do I know I can trust you? You could be trying to turn me against him!”

“I’m not, I promise,” Rat whispered. “Daybreak...I want to help that poor little pony out, and all I care about is making sure that nopony ever hurts her again. You’ve gotta believe me.”

Daybreak looked into his eyes for a long while, searching for any sign of doubt or falsehood. Rat, however, remained resolute, his gaze burning with honesty and real love.

“Your marefriend’s a lucky pony,” Daybreak whispered, voice quavering. “There aren’t many ponies in the world with that kind of dedication.”

“Answer the question, Daybreak,” Rat replied, though he could feel himself blushing under his red fur.

“Fi...fine,” Daybreak said doubtfully. “I think he’s up to something. I can’t put my hoof on it, but I get the feeling that there’s…more to this than what he’s telling me.”

“You know something, Daybreak? I think you’re right.” Rat affirmed, patting her on the shoulder. “Sit tight. I’m gonna go get you some water.”

Leaving Daybreak and Silver arguing on the balcony, Rat stepped into the hut, smiling as he spotted a wagging bushy red tail. Sky stood next to Makali, looking over his chemistry set with wonder and excitement.

“What the hell are you two up to?” Rat asked, trotting up to the two ponies with an amused little grin.

“I’ve been showing your little marefriend how to make a potion that’ll suppress those pesky little enhancements,” Makali said with a smile, holding up a test tube full of green fluid. “This’ll knock anypony out cold, no matter how strong they think they are. When they wake up, their powers will be gone, at least for a while.”

“A while is long enough,” Sky put in. “At least that’ll put them out for long enough for us to find those crystals and give them back to the museum.”

“I never thought I’d go to so much effort to put something back in a museum,” Rat sighed, rolling his eyes. “So what’s the plan from here?”

“We’re gonna have to break into wherever those crystals are being held, nab them and shoot anypony who tries to stop us,” Sky said with a grin. “It’s not gonna be easy, but at least we’ve got a way to fight them, now.”

“I can lead you two out of the Everfree Forest tomorrow. It might be a little late in the day for me to try that right now,” Makali said.

“Thanks for helping us out, sweetie,” Sky beamed, giving the zebra a kiss on the cheek. “You’ve really made this a hell of a lot easier.”

“Well, it’s always nice to meet somepony who shares my love of alchemy,” Makali chuckled. “Besides, anyone who wants to take down Silver and Rolling Thunder are friends of mine.”

“Guess you’ve got one hell of a vendetta against them, huh?” Sky asked, cocking her head.

“Indeed. They made me create horrible potions, tank-breed foals, build...ghastly weapons,” The zebra cringed, ears splaying back. “It’s a time in my life I’m...not exactly proud of. Some of them were very inequine…”

“What do you mean?” Rat asked, exchanging a glance with Sky. “Do you think those Operative assholes have them?”

“Potentially,” Makali admitted, “things like...enchanted swords...magical shields, things that could…”

“You mentioned one that could stop a pony from healing, right?” Sky interrupted, pointedly spreading her damaged wing.

“Yes. That was the cruellest weapon I’d ever made,” Makali said sadly. “It was imbued with a particularly terrible curse, an enchantment that would respond to magical healing attempts and...necrotise wounds. A weapon that would do more damage the more its wielder hated their target.”

“Who did you make that weapon for?” Rat asked, fixing his gaze on Sky’s wing.

“The Captain of the Royal Guard,” Makali said quietly. “He didn’t say what he needed it for, but I swore off of making weapons after that. If he of all ponies would ask for something like that, it’s clear that nopony can be trusted with anything quite so destructive.”

“How long ago was this?” Sky whispered, almost shivering now.

“About five years ago.” Makali said with a frown. “Why do you want to kno…”

He trailed off, eyes finally drifting over to the bandaged mess that was Sky’s wing. His eyes widened and his ears flattened against his skull, his whole face a mask of sadness and regret.

“Oh...I...see…” he muttered after a time. “Look...Sky Runner...I’m sorry about…”

“You didn’t know what you were doing.” Sky sighed. “So...is there a cure?”

“I didn’t design it with a cure,” Makali said slowly. “I’m...sorry…”

Rat sighed, walking out of the room with his head lowered. Sky watched him leave, giving Makali one last pat on the back before following the unicorn out of the hut.

* * *

Rat Racer stood out on the balcony, resting his forelegs on the balustrade as he looked out over the forest. Makali had definitely done a great job on the place, even going so far to set up a little wooden gazebo close to a nearby pool. An unnatural darkness fell over the rest of the forest as the sun began to set, but in this corner of heaven, the bottles on their little strings gave the place a magical glow.

Sky trotted out, standing next to him in silence as they looked over the woods together.

“Daybreak and Silver are gone,” Rat muttered after a while. “I guess they must’ve rabbited while we were talking inside.”

“Whatever,” Sky sighed. “It’s gonna take them a while to get out of the woods without a guide, anyway.”

They stood in silence a little longer.

“You’ve really got a heap of shit on your shoulders, haven’t you?” Rat commented after a while.

“Yeah, you said it,” Sky huffed. “Sure you still want to date this walking trainwreck?”

“No…” Rat sighed. “I don’t think I do. I don’t think I wanna date a pony who’s so held back by all of the shit that’s happened to her. I don’t wanna deal with a lonely pony who’s been raped and beaten up all her life. I don’t wanna deal with a pony who’s holding onto her long-dead sister. It ain’t right.”

Sky’s ears flopped down, and she looked down over the edge of the balcony with a soft sight. “Yeah, I figured…”

“But,” Rat continued, cutting her off, “the pony who’s managed to hold onto her soul for all of that time? The pony with so much love in her heart, the pony who’s more of a mother and a friend than anypony I’ve ever known? The pony with the warm heart and the fuzziest little belly this side of Equestria?” He placed a hoof on hers, squeezing it tight as he looked into her big blue eyes. “You’d better fucking believe I’ll date her.”

Sky shivered as she stared back at him, biting her lip as she teared up. “You...dumbass…”

“Dumbass?” Rat said with a little chuckle, raising his eyebrow. “If I was a dumbass, could I do this?”

He cleared his throat, patting his chest with a hoof before speaking loudly and confidently.

“Você é a idiota aqui, queridinha.” He said, giving his marefriend a little wink.

“Wait, you can speak foreign?” Sky asked, cocking her head.

“Portuguese,” he corrected her. “I said something super-romantic, I promise.”

“It sure sounded nice…” Sky giggled, squeezing his hoof and blushing hotly. “Where did you learn to do that, anyway?”

“I’m kinda worldly like that,” Rat snickered, “I still haven’t met anypony quite like you in all of my travels, though. You’re kinda...unique.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sky deadpanned, “that’s a really nice way of saying “screwed up,” right?”

“No, I mean it. You’re unique,” he insisted, looping his foreleg around her and pulling her close. “You’re the first pony I’ve met with so much...I dunno…spirit.”

“Now you’re just being cheesy,” Sky snickered, glancing down at the little gazebo. “Come on, lover boy. Let’s stop bothering poor Makali and get out of his way if you’re gonna start with the frou-frou talk.”

Rat followed Sky as she led him down the spiral staircase, the way forward lit by the multicoloured little lights. She bounced her flanks a little as she walked, fixing him with a smouldering, lusty gaze over her shoulder as she flicked her tail over his nose. Rat blushed himself, the tips of his ears going pink as she led him down to the side of the pool. Sky settled down by the water’s edge, watching the rippling little pool as she waited for him.

The unicorn joined her a moment later, nuzzling and kissing her cheek as he lay down by her side.

“So, how do those legs of yours manage to hold up such a thick heavy skull?” Sky asked, grinning at him.

“I often wonder how they can hold my big brain up, myself,” Rat chuckled, putting a forehoof around her shoulder and pulling her closer. “I’m more interested in how those little stick legs of yours hold up that big fat ass.”

“Hey! My ass is not fat!” Sky protested, leaning into him and pouting.

Rat chuckled, grabbing her and rolling over onto his back with a great big smile, pulling Sky onto his belly to stare down into his eyes.

“Desculpe-me, não quis te ofender,” he said, sticking his tongue out. “Você tem uma bela bunda.”

"Don't you dare speak Portuguese to me again. I'm, like, 90% sure that you're just calling me names." Sky huffed.

"Eu nunca te chamaria por nomes, vadia," Rat replied, smiling up at her.

"Awwww!" Sky blushed, tucking her forehooves up under her chin and shivering with happy nerves. She didn't know what he just said, but it sure sounded romantic!

"Eu poderia dizer o que eu quizesse, e você levaria como um elogio. Você tem sorte de ser tão linda ou eu diria algo bem mau. Mas eu não o faria, eu te amo demais," he whispered in her ear, giggling.

Sky regarded him with increasing concern, wondering whether this would be a pertinent moment to kick Rat in the family jewels. This foreign-speak was leaving her curious...but the way he said it was doing things to her mind and body that she really didn't want to think about.

“You’re cute when you blush,” he whispered.

“No I’m not!” Sky squeaked, hiding her head in her hooves. “I’m not cute! You’re crazy! None of that foreign-talk is doing anything to me! You’re silly! Stop telling fibs!”

“Sky,” Rat whispered, drawing her hooves away from her bright red cheeks and kissing her on the nose, “you are cute, and that’s totally okay. You’re beautiful, sweet, sexy and all kinds of wonderful, the sweetest mare I’ve ever met.”

“But...I’m not cute…” Sky said weakly, lip trembling as her eyes misted up.

“Sweetheart, I may be a natural born liar, but sometimes I tell the truth. This is one of those times,” Rat said, nuzzling her and drawing her in close. “Besides, you being cute doesn’t make you any less of a badass.”

Sky said nothing, remembering a time when she’d said the very same thing to Shadow. She bit her lip to keep it still, tiny tear-tracks running down her soft cheeks.

“Maybe...maybe I don’t mind being cute for you...” she whispered nervously, giving him a weak little smile.

“I’d like that,” Rat whispered back, muzzle inches from her own. “It’d be nice to be able to shower you with all kinds of romantic crap.”

“Shut up…” Sky breathed.

And with that, their lips met once more, the two little ponies locked in one another’s embrace as they kissed by the edge of the little pool. In time, the light of the rising moon pierced the forest canopy, illuminating the water and bathing them in its glow. For just a little while, they almost looked pure and innocent again, though neither pony could remember a time in their life when that had been the case.

From the opposite edge of the pool, a pair of imaginary little foals looked on with wide eyes.

“They’re doing okay,” Fox said quietly, glancing sidelong at his reluctant fillyfriend.

“Yeah...I guess they are,” Shadow sighed, looking down at her hooves and kicking a stone into the water.

“What’s the matter?” Fox asked her. “I thought you wanted Sky to be happy!”

“Well, I do!” Shadow affirmed, nodding. “It’s...just...do you think she’s gonna forget me now that she’s got a big lug like him to take care of instead?”

Fox frowned, his horn flaring as he picked the little pegasus up and drew her closer to him.

“I don’t think they’ll ever forget us,” he murmured, embracing her. “I think we’ll always matter to them a whole lot, but maybe...maybe it’s good that they’re not gonna hold onto us forever. After all...we’re big grown-up ponies now, right?”

“Yeah,” Shadow whispered, wrapping a huge wing around him and squeezing him tight, “we’re practically adults!”

They sat in silence, watching their elder siblings cuddle and kiss for the longest time, before Shadow broke the silence once more.

“You know, Fox...you may be a dumbass, but you say some smart stuff sometimes.”

“I’ll try not to let it get to my head,” Fox said.

And with that, the two youngsters turned their backs on Sky and Rat, trotting off to who knows where.

Next Chapter: Broken Arrow Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 54 Minutes
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Canterlot Burglar

Mature Rated Fiction

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