“I think we’re lost.” Rat said dully, after a while.

“Oh, come on! We’re just taking a detour!” Sky huffed, looking around at the seemingly identical trees and biting her lip. “We’ll find some Poison Joke, and then we’ll be out of the woods before you know it!”

“Okay, so say we do find some.” Rat cocked his head, fixing Sky with a politely curious gaze. “Which way’s out?”

“Well...er...obviously it’s…” Sky trailed off, sighing, “Okay, fine, but you didn’t have to follow me in here.”

“Did you think to ask for directions before you led us in here?” Rat asked, advancing on her.

“Well...no! But where the fuck were we going to ask? Canterlot? I’m not climbing the fucking mountain all over again just because we forgot a map and a list of magical herbs and fungi!” Sky countered, nudging him with her forehoof.

“What about Ponyville? That town’s right on the damn doorstep! We couldn’t go there?”

“Hey! How many guards do you think Stronghooves sent down there to make sure we wouldn’t make it? We were on a fucking life raft! He could send a message way faster than that!”

“He wouldn’t.” Rat shook his head. “Come on, just admit it. We’re completely lost and it’s all your fault!”

“Well...may...maybe we’re a little bit lost.” Sky conceded. “But come on! You could’ve said something!”

“I thought you were the one who was meant to bitch about asking for directions?” Rat sulked, sticking his tongue out at her.

“Wow, don’t tell me you’re bringing sex into it?” Sky laughed mirthlessly. “You’re doing such a great mare impression right now that I’m tempted to give you another blue dart!”

“Yeah, sure!” Rat grinned. “As if you don’t absolutely love this thing…” He smirked at her, shifting his weight just a little to expose himself.

“It looks better inside of me, thanks.” Sky chuckled, sticking her tongue out.

Both ponies froze in place, going a little pink as they looked into each others’ eyes.

“Erm...but...yeah…” Rat carried on, turning away and trying to hide his big goofy grin. “We’re pretty lost…”

“Yeah...yeah...you got me,” Sky snickered, “but hey, we’ll find the way out, right?”

“I guess if we walked in one direction for long enough, we’d eventually get out anyway.” Rat sighed. “Still, I wouldn’t mind knowing where the fuck we are. We don’t know shit about this forest or what’s in it.”

“Yeah, I admit that we could’ve perhaps planned this better.” She rolled her eyes, looking up through the foliage at the amber-streaked sky. “How long have we been out here, anyway?”

“Guess it’s been all day now.” Rat whistled, letting his legs collapse beneath him as he laid his head down on the foliage. “How do you feel?”

“Like my legs are about to drop off.” Sky chuckled, plonking herself down next to him. “We can always keep looking tomorrow, I guess.”

Rat shuffled just a little closer, leaves rustling underhoof as he came close enough to press his cheek to hers. Sky squeaked with surprise, glancing across at him with a slightly manic smile.

“Er...hey.” She grinned.

“Hey.” He smiled back. “So...er...do you come here often?”

“Damn it Rat, is this what that whole argument thing was about? Are you just that pent-up?” Sky laughed. “You could’ve just asked!”

“No!” Rat said hurriedly. “I mean...no...that’s not why...I don’t…”

“What’s the matter, sweetie?” Sky asked, gesturing for Shadow and Fox to give them a little privacy.

“Yeah...look...how do I say this…” Rat said quietly. “Erm...Sky...look...you know I’m usually okay with words…”

“No you’re not.” Sky replied evenly. “You’re actually kinda shit with them, otherwise you’d be able to weasel your way out of my plans.”

“Well, fine then.” Rat shrugged. “I’m not so good with words, but Sky...it’s kinda important that you hear this.”

“Go on, then.” Sky smiled politely, crossing her forehooves and fluttering her eyelashes at him. He had her full attention...and then some.

“Well...when I first met you...er...you were...super gorgeous...not that you’re not still super-gorgeous, of course.” He added quickly, as if he’d misstepped. “And you kinda made my whole damn world go wild. I know you don’t believe that Fox is gone, but...he is, and it’s been the loneliest five years of my life.”

Sky’s ears splayed back a little, but she kept listening, placing a forehoof on Rat’s. “Go on.”

“I...felt like shit. For the longest time, I felt like shit. I tried to hide behind delusions and hallucinations, damn near stepped out in front of a carriage myself...I never knew why, looking back.” He smiled a little. “I dunno what I was doing in the Terminal the day we met, but...I’m glad I was there. I’m glad I took your diary. Sue me.”

“Sweetie…” Sky beamed, going a little pink around her eartips and cheeks. “That’s damn sweet, and...I couldn’t have done any of this shit without you. Let’s face it, I’d be dead by now if you weren’t here for me.”

“Probably.” Rat chuckled. “You’re kinda off your rocker, sweetheart. Your ideas are so fucking crazy that I’m surprised you’re not dead already. Still...it’s nice to know I’ve helped hold that off for a few more years.”

“In our line of work, that’s all we’re doing.” Sky shrugged. “You run your jobs, get in the shit with guards and try to keep your plot out of prison for long enough to enjoy what you nicked...still...it’s been a long time since ponies were trying to kill me.”

“Yeah, me too.” Rat rolled his eyes. “And then you had to get the Marefia and a bunch of super-soldiers on my ass. How’s that for turning somepony’s life upside-down?”

“Serves you right for stealing my diary.” Sky giggled unapologetically. “You had it coming, asshole.”

“I guess I did.” Rat grinned, nuzzling her nose and making her recoil in fright. “But look...the thing I was trying to say is...I don’t wanna have sex with you.”

“Come again?” Sky asked, cocking her head. “You…don’t wanna…?”

“No. And it’s not because you aren’t pretty - I mean, you are…” he said hurriedly. “It’s just that...you’re kinda acting like a piece of meat, and I know you’ve fucked me once or twice just to get out of talking about anything serious.”

Sky cocked her head so far sideways that it was in danger of unscrewing and dropping off of her neck.

“The thing is…” He began, but Sky held up a hoof to stop him.

“Yeah, I get it.” She said, frowning. “You don’t wanna fuck me because you’re afraid you’ll catch something or get saddled with a foal, right?”

“No, I mean…”

“Because you know I can’t have kids, right?” Sky went on. “Or did you not read that while you were going through my diary?”

“Look, it’s not that…” Rat began, but Sky leapt to her hooves, glaring at him.

“No, look, I get it. The wing puts you off, doesn’t it?” She said accusingly, giving him a gentle shove with her forehoof.

“No, it’s not. Could you shut up for two seconds and fucking listen?” Rat groaned. “Just shut the fuck up, settle down and listen to me! Come on, this is important!”

“Last time you said something was important, you started going on about how you could “help” me. Guess what! Unless you can change the past and make everything okay again, you can’t fucking do it!” Sky barked.

“This isn’t about that, Sky!” Rat growled, getting to his hooves and taking her by the shoulders. “I don’t wanna fuck you because you’re...you’re not…”

“Not what?” Sky growled, taking his forehooves in her own and trying to throw him off. Rat gave her a push, shoving her into a tree trunk and biting his lip.

“You’re not like anypony I’ve ever met.” He finished pathetically as she glared daggers at him.

“I know.” Sky replied. “I’m a freak.”

“No…don’t say…” Rat groaned, clearing his throat and trying again. “Sky...I don’t wanna fuck you because everypony else who’s done it treated you like a piece of meat. I think you’re worth a hell of a lot more than that.”

“I can start charging for it, if you want…” Sky offered, shrugging.

“No, I mean...I like you...erm...I like you a lot, actually.” He said pathetically. “You’re sweet and pretty and nice and it’s clear that you really love Shadow, even now. At the same time you’re wild and crazy and all kinds of weird…”

“Crazy? I’ll show you cra...wait, what?” Sky paused, too taken aback to continue her angry rant for the moment.

“You’re a mad little birdhorse and you’ve been through some shit...and I should know. I’ve been through some shit, too.” Rat chuckled. “But look...I’ve kinda gotten to know you and I...I kinda liked you a little more than anypony else I’d met when we were back in Manehattan. The way you just went out and did stuff, the way you didn’t seem to think...how you just kinda knew what to do next…”

“Yeah yeah, I’m good at improvising.” Sky rolled her eyes. “Keep going.”

“Damn it, Sky! Stop interrupting!” Rat practically shouted. “I’m trying to tell you I like you, you dumb bitch!”

Sky and Rat froze as the impact of what he’d just said struck both of them. Sky’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly as she struggled to process this completely foreign concept.

Wait...what? She thought to herself, looking up into Rat’s worried eyes and loosening her grip on his hooves. Shit...is this how Penfeather felt when I slipped that letter into that book I returned a month ago?

It suddenly struck her that she hadn’t said anything for a while. Both ponies waited in awkward silence for the other to say something. On occasion, one of them would open their mouth only to shut it as the other started to say something.

Come on Sky, you can do this! Just say something! Wisecrack at him! Say something witty and sweet! This is your chance!

“Duh.” She said blankly.

Well done! That’ll definitely make his heart melt!

Sky snapped her mouth shut, her tongue poking out between her lips. She looked very silly indeed.

“Er...are...are you okay?” Rat asked, concerned.

“Yup!” Sky squeaked, realising that her voice was a much higher pitch than she remembered it. “Er...I...didn’t see...that...coming…”

“Well...er...yeah…” Rat shrugged, letting go of Sky’s forehooves and stepping back.

You know, he could be exaggerating. She thought to herself. Come on, you’re a burglar! There’s no way he’s really got a crush on you. Come off of it! Just let him down gently, and…

“I like your ass...I mean, personality…” Rat froze, cringing the same way that Sky had done in the library. She knew that expression anywhere.

Oh my gosh he really means it!

“Sky?” He said after a while, waving a hoof in front of her face as her eyes unfocussed.

“Eep!” Sky replied intelligently. “Erm...thanks...thanks for saying that to me, Rat. It was good to...er...hear...your...mouth...words…”

“Is this gonna make things weird?” He asked. “Cause if you’ve got a problem with it, I can shut up.”

“Nope!” Sky giggled. “Not weird at all! I just…I…wow!” She shivered as she lay against the tree trunk, letting out slightly choked guffaws from time to time. All of her normal charisma abandoned her. “Erm...can you please excuse me? I’ve gotta...gotta...dunk my head in some water…”

And with that, she dropped back onto all four hooves and practically skipped away into the woods, the biggest, happiest smile in the world on her face.

Oh my gosh another pony likes me and he’s cute and he’s sweet...well, I mean, he’s kind of a fixer-upper, but whatever! He’s got a sweet smile and such a nice laugh and he puts up with all of my bullshit and he doesn’t care about my wing! Oh wow, I haven’t taken a breath in like five minutes now. I’d better do that…

Shadow’s ears perked up as Sky came crashing through the undergrowth towards her. She knew that gait far too well. It was the distinctive galloping of a pony who wanted a great big hug.

“Oh, shit…” She breathed, trying to scramble for cover.

Biting Fox’s tail, she made to drag him into the bushes to hide, but it was far too late. Sky burst out of the undergrowth in a storm of scattered leaves, picking up both of them and squeezing them close to her chest.

“No! NOOOOOO! Sis, why the fuck did you have to do that?” Shadow hissed. “Fox is watching!”

“I...eek...sure am!” Fox grinned triumphantly, chuckling at the sight of Shadow pouting with one cheek pressed up against her big sister’s fluffy chest. “What’s up, Miss Sky?”

Sky took a deep breath, letting everything out in one big string of words.

“Rat said he likes me as more than a friend and I think he wants to be my coltfriend and that means I’d be his marefriend and we’d be totally happy together and I’m gonna take such good care of him and he doesn’t wanna fuck me! Can you believe that?”

“Wow...this is the happiest you’ve ever been when somepony doesn’t wanna fuck you.” Shadow deadpanned. “Er...well done, I guess?”

Sky gave them one more big winding squeeze before dropping them both and skipping off in search of a stream to wash her face in.

Shadow and Fox took forever to catch their breath as the happy mare’s squees died away, but when they finally raised their heads again, they grinned at one another.

“I have to live with this shit.” Shadow snickered.

“Yeah, well, she’s gonna have to live with us, too.” Fox winked. “Don’t worry, Shadow. If they wanna get together, we’ll be there to make things interesting for them.”

The filly’s eyes lit up with glee as she shuffled closer, wrapping one enormous wing around him and pulling him in.

“It’s gonna be a pleasure working with you.” She said wickedly.

So preoccupied was Sky with her own thoughts that she didn’t see the sudden drop coming. She skipped right over the edge, her extended wings holding her in the air for only a moment before she plummeted. With a series of pained squeaks and grunts, the little white mare rolled down a leaf-covered embankment, skidding to a halt at the bottom with a rustle of disturbed foliage.

“Okay...let’s...let’s watch where we’re going next time…” Sky groaned, spitting out leaves and shaking her head. “Damn it, that just completely ruined my mood…”

As she pulled herself upright, Sky squinted in the half-light. Down here, only a little of the dying sunlight broke through the trees, illuminating a little clearing surrounded by monstrous twisted trees. A network of massive ancient roots spread out from the vast trunks, winding around one another like natural braids.

Sky whistled softly, tapping one of the roots with her forehoof.

“Wow, this is pretty nice and secluded…” She muttered. “I wonder if Rat’d want to come down here with m…”

The last word caught in her throat as she felt something winding around her forehoof. Biting her lip, Sky glanced down, catching sight of a big prehensile root taking her leg in an iron grip. She gave it a little tug to try and free her limb, but it held fast, slowly winding its way up her leg toward her shoulder. Still others, attracted by her struggling, wrapped around her other legs as well.

“Uh oh…” She muttered. “Uh, Rat? I think I found one!”