“Well that’s fucking huge.” Sky muttered, looking up at the monster rearing before them.

“Yeah...er...well, you’re the pony with the plans.” Rat replied breathlessly.

“Er…” Sky glanced around, taking in their surroundings. Her eyes darted from tree to rock to swirling water as the monster opened its mouth as wide as it would go. Its jaw unhinged like a serpent’s, revealing an elongated tongue with writhing tentacular taste buds. “Okay...I don’t suppose you wanna try petting it?”

“I’ll pass, thanks.” Rat chuckled mirthlessly, crawling his way to the back of the boat. “Any other bright ideas?”

Sky glanced down at the boat beneath them, nodding slowly. “Yeah, I might do. Remember when you tipped the boat over earlier?”

“Ye...yeah?” Rat asked. The monster drew back, making a nasal rasping sound that shook the woods around them.

Sky didn’t leave him time to work the rest out, grabbing the side of the boat and pulling against it with all of her might. Both ponies redistributed their weight as fast as they could, overturning the little vessel just as the beast’s frog-like tongue shot out of its mouth. The slimy limb caught on the boat, drawing it right back into the creature’s mouth and leaving Sky and Rat treading water. The two ponies cringed as it brought its teeth down on the boat with a deafening crunch of wood.

“Well shit...er…” Sky spluttered, rolling over in the water and swimming for the shore as fast as she could. “I guess he can do that, then.”

“Yeah, this thing just keeps getting better and better!” Rat yelled, splashing her as he swam by.

Sky glanced across at the raft, catching sight of Shadow and Fox scrambling off of it into the foliage. That made sense. The only thing that mattered right now was getting out safe.

As she pulled herself up onto the bank, her hooves slipping on the liquid surface mud, Rat finally caught up with her. The stallion launched himself up onto the bank as well, horn flaring as he levitated Sky into the air to make their escape easier. With a little grunt of effort, she finally found some semblance of solid ground. Her soaking wet wings threatened to drag her down, but Rat didn’t stop pulling until she was safe and sound, out of the churning water and safely on the bank with him.

“See?” He panted, as they started to gallop deeper into the woods. “I told you we make a great team!”

“Yeah…” Sky chuckled, flicking his flank with her tail. “Fine, I’ll let you have that one. Just don’t start keeping a “Rat was right” tally, okay?”

“Fine!” Rat laughed. “But next time you think about flipping the boat and dropping us both into the river, you damn well warn me first, okay?”

“Well, we’re probably not gonna do that again any time soon.” Sky commented, glancing back at the remains of the boat as they left the monster behind. “Besides, we’re even for last ti...GET DOWN!”

Kicking out at Rat with her hind legs, Sky dived sideways as the serpent’s adhesive tongue shot through the trees towards them again. It crashed through branches and foliage before embedding itself in a nearby tree trunk. The two ponies stared in horror at the flailing tentacles, neither one saying anything for the longest time, before glancing back at the creature as one.

The River Guardian crashed through the undergrowth toward them, borne by a series of small lobsterlike legs. It drew its tongue back into its mouth, eyes fixed on Sky and Rat.

“Well shit, it can walk.” Sky breathed.

“Yeah, I noticed.” Rat said, turning tail and galloping for his life again. “Come on, we might be able to lose him if we go deeper into the woods!”

Sky charged after him, leaves and twigs crunching underhoof as she accelerated. In only a few moments she drew level with Rat, giving him a quick once-over to make sure he was okay.

“This was your dumbass idea!” Rat yelped, horn flaring as he made himself lighter in order to run just a little faster.

“Look, it’s either running from Operatives or running from this son of a bitch!” Sky yelled back, beating her soggy damaged wings as hard as she could. Her bad wing stung horribly as she put a little extra strain on it, the tendons still torn from her confrontation with Stronghooves the night before. The little white mare cringed as she caught sight of a growing patch of red in her bone-white bandages, the water dripping off of her wing mixing with her own blood and leaving yet another trail like the one back in Manehattan.

Rat caught sight of it, shaking his head. “We’re totally gonna get that looked at as soon as possible. I’ll pay for it if you want, but you can’t keep doing this.”

“Rat, it’s okay! My wing always does that! It’s no big deal!” Sky replied, panting just a little as she pushed her body as far as it would go.

“Sky, you know your life’s fucked up when your fucking wing starts bleeding and it’s “no big deal!”” Rat barked back. “Come on, you promised that we’d help each other out!”

“Yeah, well let’s just focus on getting away from that thing, then you can start worrying about my health!”

“Sky...we’ve lost it.” Rat said softly, bumping against her a little.

Sky glanced over her shoulder as she looked for the monster again. Sure enough, it was nowhere to be seen, having long since proven slower than two desperate ponies, even with that tongue. Breathing heavily, the mare let herself come to a gradual halt, shaking herself dry and causing Rat to splutter and back away.

“Hey! Piss off!” He yelped. “Your wings are all gross and bloody!”

“Oh, come on, they’re not that bad!” Sky replied grumpily. “It’s not like I’m bleeding out or gangrenous or anything, right?”

“Sky...I can see your fucking bones.” Rat pressed, magicking himself dry and conjuring a little blow-dryer into existence to do the same to Sky.

“Yeah, well...you shouldn’t worry about it.” Sky said stoically, shaking her head. “I’m gonna get it checked out by a doctor and everything’s gonna be fine. Just trust me, okay?”

“That’d work much better if I didn’t know that it can’t be cured.” Rat narrowed his eyes, turning the blow-dryer on and assaulting Sky with it. “You’ve been leaving a trail of blood all over the fucking woods! What if that fucking thing can follow scents, huh?”

“Then we’re fucked, aren’t we?” Sky asked, spreading her wings reflexively and flapping them against the rush of hot air. “Don’t worry, sweetie. We’ve been able to outrun it so far. What does it matter if I’m leaving a little blood behind?”

“Yeah, but…” Rat sighed, wiggling the blow-dryer to blow Sky’s fur in funny and interesting directions. “What the fuck kind of pony can honestly look at their bleeding fucking wing and call it no big deal?”

“Look, it’s fine. I’ve had this thing long enough to know that it’s not gonna kill me.” Sky grinned. “It’s okay, sweetie. I don’t like what happened to my wing, but I’ll get it fixed someday. You’ll see. In the meantime, I’m totally sure that that thing can’t follow scents. It lives in the fucking water! What would the point be in that?”

Rat nodded solemnly, finally vanishing the dryer and looking her up and down. “Oh, you look fabulous, darling! It’s really you!”

Sky’s eyes went wide as she looked herself over. “Oh shit, what did you do to me?”

“I didn’t do a damn thing to you.” Rat grinned. “But you do look pretty damn fluffy like this. It’s kinda cute.”

Sky groaned as she gave herself a once-over. Rat was right. Her fur was fluffier than ever, standing on end and giving her a fuzzy, almost airbrushed appearance. She felt her cheeks grow red as she looked down at her chest, ears splaying back.

“I’m not cute…” She mumbled.

Rat stared at her for a long while, taking his time to process what she’d said. A tiny mischevious smile played about his muzzle as he realised that he’d struck a nerve.

“Yeah?” He asked, slinking around her. “Because that sounds exactly like something a cute pony would say…”

“Don’t you dare...” Sky warned, blushing harder. With a little squeak of desperation, she hid her head under her good wing to block out Rat’s prying eyes.

“Don’t I dare what?” Rat snickered, finally bumping flanks with her and poking is nose through her primaries. “Say something undeniable? Tell things like they are? Do you not like being called cute, you adorable little fluff-muffin?”

Sky was just about to say something in her defence, but whatever she’d been planning to say caught in her throat as she exploded into giggles at the silly nickname. “What...what the fuck’s a fluff-muffin?” She laughed.

“It’s you!” Rat answered, not missing a beat. “You’re the sweetest, cutest, softest mare in Equestria right now, and you’d have to be mad to deny it!”

Quick as a flash, Sky tucked her head under her wing again. “Stop it…” She groaned. “I’m not...go away...piss off…”

“Awww, so that’s what embarrasses you.” Rat chuckled, putting a hoof on her shoulder. “That’s okay, I won’t tell anypony. Besides...I wanna keep you all to myself.”

Sky peeked out through her feathers, her frightened blue eyes meeting his. “Ye...yeah?”

“Yeah.” Rat nodded. “You’re a really sweet mare, even if you don’t wanna admit it, and I was kinda wondering whether…”

The two of them were interrupted by the loud crash of splintering wood.

“I think it found us.” Sky muttered, lowering her wing and looking around at the source of the noise.

The serpent burst out through a tree, showering the two ponies with leaves and shattered wood as it reared up again. Its mouth opened wide again, nose dripping with the very blood it had followed to find them. Sky’s blood.

“Come on! Let’s get moving!” Rat cried, turning tail and galloping away as fast as he could. The monster was ready for him this time, its enormous tongue shooting out and catching him in its tentacular taste buds. Stuck fast, he could only struggle for a moment before being pulled back into the creature’s mouth and swallowed whole.

“You son of a bitch!” Sky screamed, loading an explosive dart into her crossbow and training it on the giant serpent. Squeezing off a shot, Sky darted out of the way as it tried to catch her with its tongue, too. The dart struck its scaly hide, detonating with enough force to shatter stone and breach vault doors.

However, as the smoke cleared, the monster’s scaly armour was merely scorched. It glared at her with those burning yellow eyes, realising that she was a potential threat.

Well, that didn’t fucking work… Sky thought to herself, spreading her wings and launching herself onto a low-hanging branch as it snapped at her again. Its crest shot out again, spraying the whole vicinity with a strange black goo that reminded Sky of molasses. When it struck the branch nearby, it began to burn and sizzle its way through the wood, powerful acids eating away at the branch until it was barely able to support Sky’s weight.

“This isn’t good…” She muttered, launching herself higher and higher up the tree as the digestive goo tore at the branches and trunk beneath her. She remained painfully aware that Rat was still inside that thing and didn’t have much time left. If he hadn’t been crushed already, it was only a matter of time until he suffocated. She needed to get him out now.

I can’t get through its armour...there’s gotta be another way to get it out… Sky thought to herself, biting her lip and glancing down at it. The serpent reared up again, opening its mouth wide as it prepared to strike at her with its tongue again.

Sky cycled in an explosive dart, letting loose and diving out of the tree as the sticky appendage shot towards her again. The dart’s prongs struck its taste buds, sticking into its flesh as it pulled it back into her mouth.

As the white mare airbraked, coming back in to land in front of it, she fervently hoped that the lizard’s anatomy was at least somewhat similar to a supermodel’s. After all, this required the attention of its gag reflex.

The serpent made to lunge at her again, but before it could open its mouth again, the explosive dart in its mouth went off. Against its scaly armour it could only offer a little blunt trauma, but in its unarmoured mouth it did a great deal of damage indeed. Smoke poured out of its nostrils as its sinuses ignited, shockwaves firing off its gag reflex and forcing it to vomit. Opening its mouth wide and choking wildly, the monster produced a very upset Rat Racer. The poor red stallion struck the ground, the undergrowth doing little to break his fall.

Sky galloped over, giving him a slap across the face. She didn’t care that he was covered in saliva and other unidentifiable goo. What mattered was that he was free...and wasn’t hurt too badly, either. With a strained gasp, Rat started breathing again, his hooves jerking madly as he tried to get some much-needed air in his lungs.

“Come on, Rat. Get up.” Sky muttered, bumping him with her nose. “We can take this guy together, but I need you up, okay?”

“Yeah...yeah...I’m up…” Rat gasped, pulling himself onto his hooves and shaking some of the goop off of his coat. “Ugh...you owe me a shower.”

“I could live with that.” Sky shrugged. She looked around at the acid-damaged tree. It was top-heavy and tall enough that she suspected that there was very little keeping it up.

“Got any new plans?” Rat asked.

“Yeah, I’ve got one or two…” Sky muttered, looking from the tree to the coughing serpent. “Okay...grab that busted branch over there…”

Rat’s horn flared, picking up the nearby branch by magic and raising it above his head. On closer inspection, it was sharp and splintered, a potentially serviceable weapon in the right circumstances.

“So what the fuck do you want me to do with this?” He started, before leaping aside as that huge tongue struck the spot where he’d stood just a moment prior. With a terrified yelp, he brought the branch down on it with all of his might. The giant splinter punched right through it, pinning the appendage to the ground as the little tentacles flailed and writhed.

“Yeah, that!” Sky laughed, galloping towards the tree with Rat in tow. The serpent pulled at its own pinned tongue, trying to dislodge it from the ground and hissing angrily. Smoke still poured from its mouth and nostrils, the monster fixing the two ponies with a venomous gaze as its crest retracted again, getting ready to launch another spray of acidic venom at them.

“I’m gonna need your magic for this!” Sky cried, loading up her last explosive dart and firing it off at the weakened tree trunk.

Rat’s horn lit up again, holding onto the tree as best he could as it began to tip over. He couldn’t even begin to hold it up properly, merely doing his best to change its direction as it came down with inexorable force.

With a horrible crunch, the tree struck the serpent’s head, knocking it unconscious immediately. Against mere explosive force, the armoured scales of the monster were more than adequate to protect it from harm, but the sheer blunt trauma of several tons of tree coming down on top of its head was far too much for the tortured animal. With a weak whimper, it finally slumped down to the ground, out of the fight.

“Fuck…” Rat breathed. “Did...we just do that?”

“Yeah…” Sky nodded. “We...we kicked its ass.”

“Shit.” He stared at it for a very long time, sitting back and smiling weakly. “And...you saved me, too…”

“Yeah, well…” Sky shrugged. “I...I couldn’t let you get hurt like that. Besides...there’s no way I could’ve taken that thing down without you.”

“I couldn’t have done it, either.” Rat chuckled too, glancing across at Sky and grinning. “You and me really do make a great team.”

As he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, Sky leaned away from him, scrunching her snout.

“Yeah...you’re having a wash before you get to touch me again.” She snickered. “Come on, we’ve got some Poison Joke to find.”

And with that, the two ponies got up again, making their way deeper into the Everfree Forest. They had a job to do.