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Canterlot Burglar

by Happycamper

Chapter 41: Not A Morning Pony

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Shadow opened her eyes, staring at the wooden ceiling for the longest time. It had been a while since she’d rested this peacefully without Sky in the hideout, but obviously that was her growing up and becoming more independent. It had nothing to do whatsoever with the colt all snuggled up next to her, resting his head in her bellyfluff and snoring quietly. Nope. Not one bit.

Shadow’s ears perked as she looked down at the slumbering little pony, frowning a little as she took in his form. He was pretty peaceful when he was sleeping and not, say, beating her up or trying to put the moves on her. Shadow was having a lot of difficulty working out which scenario was more unappealing to her.

He’s pretty cute… She thought to herself, giggling quietly as his warm breath hit her ticklish tummy. Like, he’s nothing super-special, but he’s nice and sweet and he means well, and...NO! STOP IT! BAD PONY! Shadow growled softly, baring her little white teeth. It’s obviously some kind of trick! He’s cute, yeah, but what if he’s an axe murderer? We haven’t even done the axe murderer test yet!

Shadow felt herself beginning to hyperventilate, the first vestiges of real panic flooding through her bloodstream. If he really was an axe murderer then it wouldn’t be prudent to just lay here on her back. Her belly was her most vulnerable body part, and she’d just straight-up told him what had happened to her a few years ago! If he was smart, he’d go for there first.

Oh, I see how it is… Shadow thought, narrowing her eyes. He’s laying there so that he can look for the perfect place to stab me! What a cheeky bastard! I should’ve seen it coming!

She stared at him with overwhelming suspicion for a long while, lowering her hoof to his head and gently scratching him behind the ears to see if he’d try to bite her limbs off. She knew it was irrational, but she was having a lot of trouble thinking rationally right now. So much was failing to make sense, like the whole deal with the Operatives, Fox actually paying attention to her after five years of nopony acknowledging her but her big sister, and all of the Luna-damned advances. Shadow wasn’t going to lie. She was beginning to have very real trouble dealing with all of this, and Fox wasn’t making it any easier. Something would have to give sooner or later.

To her surprise, Fox didn’t turn into a pony-eating monster just yet. In fact, he smiled softly in his sleep, whimpering softly and kicking out with his back leg like a rabbit. Shadow paused, tilting her head in confusion. What the hell was he doing that for?

As the young filly watched him, a long-repressed part of Shadow’s brain, one that used to demand cookies and recognise when something was downright adorable, finally fired up, and a single damning thought ran through her mind.

He’s so cute!

Shadow moved her hoof up between his ears, scratching his head experimentally. This was obviously just to check for vulnerabilities, of course. Something she could use if he went completely psycho or got too close again. Besides, Shadow was a curious little pony. She couldn’t just let a little thing like this slide.

Her face fell as his back leg stopped kicking. That was more than a little disappointing. She’d been expecting something a little more…

Oh Luna, he’s nuzzling my tummy. This is soooo gross… Shadow gasped, sticking her tongue out in disgust. No...get off...this is horrible...don’t…don’t do that...it’s gonna make me…

She couldn’t keep in the growing fit of the giggles that came from having her sensitive belly nuzzled like that. His breathing had been one thing, but his fluffy little nose was too much for her. Shadow’s chest rose and fell as she stuffed her hoof into her mouth, trying to suppress herself as best she could, but it was fruitless. She couldn’t take any more, and as he kept nuzzling her belly she let out the squeakiest of delighted squeaks. Her wingtips fluttered and she lay back, caught in the throes of silent laughter.

To her horror, Fox began to stir as she shook, frowning in his sleep before his eyes began to flicker open. Though Shadow froze up and lay stock still, it simply wasn’t going to be enough this time. The young colt had heard her giggle. He knew she was awake...and he was happy to see her, too.

“Mmmph...hey, Shadow…” He muttered sleepily, eyes half-open. He had a tiny little smile on his face, blinking at her in the half-light.

“Uh...hey…” Shadow replied nervously, waving awkwardly and gulping. “I was just ...um…”

“Thinking about me?” Fox smiled hopefully.

“Ye...yeah...but only about what an ugly little slob you are!” Shadow growled softly, regaining her composure in record time. “I mean, look at what you’ve done! You’ve drooled all over me! That’s not cool!”

Fox raised his head, glancing down at her tummy. “No I didn’t…” he said flatly.

“Well, you were thinking about doing it!” She narrowed her eyes, not missing a beat. “I can tell! All mares can read minds, you know!”

“Can they?” Fox shuffled a little closer, crossing his forelegs and giving her a searching look. “What am I thinking now, then?”

“Well, that’s easy! You’re thinking of...no…” Shadow paused, eyes shooting wide open. She tried to pull away from Fox before he followed through, but she was trapped underneath him, the big fat stupid colt. “Don’t you dare...don’t you even think about it!”

“Okay, I won’t think about it.” Fox nodded diplomatically.

Shadow sighed with relief, her ears flopping back against her head as she considered just how big a bullet she’d dodged.

Fox rolled off of her, laying on his back as he stared up at the ceiling. “Hey, Shadow?”

“What?”

“So...you told me yesterday that you got stabbed…” Fox asked slowly. “Um...I kinda…”

“Spit it out.” Shadow sighed, rolling her eyes.

“I dunno, I guess I just wanted to know more about it. Like, how did it happen?”

Shadow frowned, unsure about whether or not she should tell Fox about what had happened to her. It was bad enough that she was stabbed. It said a lot about her fallibility that she could be injured like that, but telling him about the worst heist she’d ever gone on? That was a different story entirely. It made both herself and Sky look bad.

He was gonna find out one way or another when he saw my scars, I guess… Shadow frowned, staring at her ceiling. And it’s not like he can use it against me or anything. Besides, he got hit by a fucking carriage! That’s even worse!

“Shadow?” Fox asked, giving her a worried little nudge.

“Yeah, yeah…” Shadow sighed again, blowing her mane out of her face. “Well...okay, you’ve been on a whole load of jobs with Rat, right?”

“Sure!” He nodded, smiling wistfully.

“Well...you’ve had jobs go wrong, right? Like...the thing with the carriage?”

“Yeah, not every job goes the way it’s supposed to, and sometimes we get caught or hurt, right?” Fox agreed. “That’s what happened with you, right?”

“Yeah.” Shadow frowned. “So, I guess that’s kinda what happened to me. I was fourteen and...well, I got hurt.”

“Oh.” Fox bit his lip. “Um...do you mind if I ask how?”

“I do mind, really.”

“Come on!”

“I’m not coming on!” Shadow shook her head. “A job went to shit, I got hurt, Sky saved me and everything’s okay now, all right? Just drop it!”

“I’m not dropping it, Shadow.” Fox shook his head. “What, are you afraid that we’ll have something in common? I know that nopony pays attention to you, too.” He put a hoof on her shoulder, staring at her earnestly.

Shadow glanced over at him a couple of times, cringing. “Who fucking told you that?” She said quietly.

“Rat did. He nicked Sky’s diary. He knows something happened to you...and it’s kinda like the thing that happened to me. Please...I’ve never met anypony else who’s had something like this happen to them. I wanna know that I’m not...just fucked up.”

“You are fucked up.” Shadow glared.

“Shadow, please…”

“Fine!” Shadow groaned, running her hooves through her mane and tucking her wings in by her sides. “Sky wanted to...get me a birthday present a few years ago...and it was gonna be super-special and everything...but the trouble is that it was really expensive…”

“What was it?”

“She wanted to...to pay off my bounty…” Shadow grimaced. “Trouble is, she and I...we’ve been working together ever since I was little. Hell, I’ve been robbing ponies since she...took me in…”

“She adopted you?” Fox raised an eyebrow, curious.

“Not important.” Shadow shook her head. “Point is, my bounty was damn near in the millions. There’s no way we could pay that off, especially not back then when we were struggling to eat day-to-day.”

“So you needed to steal something big, right?” Fox asked.

“Yeah.” Shadow paused. “You….you’ve heard of the Elements of Harmony, right?”

“Sure I have.” Fox nodded enthusiastically. Everypony had heard of the Elements of Harmony. Hell, foals got taught about them in school. They were legendary.

“Yeah, well...the way Sky and I figured it, if we broke into the Palace and stole them, then we could ransom them back for enough cash to pay off our bounties and...I dunno, be free.” Shadow shrugged. “We planned the job for months. How we’d get into the Palace, what we’d do if we ran into trouble, how to get past the guards, how we’d unlock the vault without any magic of our own. It was foolproof.”

“But it went south.”

“Yeah, it did.” Shadow nodded. “Somepony found out about it and sold us out to the guards. When we finally set out to try and get into the palace, we walked right into a trap.”

“Ouch.” Fox cringed. “What kind of trap?”

“Guards everywhere, loads of magical support, batponies who could find us when we hid in the darkness…” Shadow shuddered. “So...Sky and I ran for it. We had to get out of there. The whole thing had gone to shit.”

“You two had a backup plan, right?”

“Yeah, we did. The plan was to run for the university if anything went bad. There’s a lot of twisting corridors and places to hide in there. We didn’t have too much trouble losing the guards.” Shadow smirked proudly. “Those clompy bastards couldn’t keep up with us. We’re the fastest damn ponies in this city.”

“There’s gotta be more to it than that.” Fox said doubtfully.

“Yeah…” Shadow pulled herself onto her hooves, stretching her wings out. “Sky and I ran into some old buddies. Shady and Nightshade. Kinda...I dunno, rival burglars? They’re assholes, both of them, Drunk, violent, punch your teeth out soon as look at you. The way Sky tells it, they were running a job on the University that night, and when we turned up, all exhausted and fucked up by the guards, they tried to remove us from the picture permanently.”

“Yeah, but you two kicked their asses, right?” Fox asked, getting up as well. “I mean, you two are the toughest mares I’ve ever seen. A couple of stallions shouldn’t give you too much shit, right?”

“You’d think, but we were both ...I dunno...tired.” Shadow scratched the back of her neck. “I got separated from Sky. Ended up fighting Nightshade in a lecture theatre. I was losing. He even broke my bow, so I was having a lot of trouble taking him down...and I mean a lot.”

“And he won?”

“Yeah, I called for help, Sky didn’t come in time, and...he stabbed me.” Shadow shrugged. “Didn’t hurt too bad, but I got in a whole load of trouble and nearly bled out on the operating table.”

“Well…” Fox said slowly. “At least you were okay in the end, right? Like, you and Sky are still here, and taking care of each other, and it’s just kind of a shitty memory.”

“Yeah, five years and this is all I’ve got to remember it by.” Shadow patted her belly, smiling. “Nopony got too badly hurt, we both recovered and...well...we’re still working on the whole “getting rid of our bounties” thing.”

“Guess you’ve gotta get these assholes off of your backs first, right?” Fox smiled, trotting over to her and placing a hoof on her shoulder. “Just tell me how I can help, okay?”

“You can start by not touching me.” Shadow growled, switching from expository to brutal in a heartbeat and slapping him away. “Seriously, what is it with you and trying to cuddle up to me! I thought you just wanted to be friends!”

“Yeah! I d...do…” Fox insisted, rubbing his hoof. “But you’re always so fucking stand-offish!”

“That’s not even a word!” Shadow stuck her tongue out.

“Shadow, come on, you said you’d be my friend and you’re still acting like a bitch!” Fox pouted. “You’re cuddly and fluffy and so damn sweet. Why the hell are you still trying to treat me like shit?”

“Because I don’t need friends, Fox!” Shadow snarled. “I’ve never needed friends! It’s always been me and Sky, two sisters kicking ass ever since I was a kid! I’m not lonely, I’m notscared or sad or anything! What the hell do you think you’re gonna offer me besides more...fucking…cuddles?” She stomped her hoof on the floor, facing him down with her wings spread.

“Sometimes that’s all a pony needs.” Fox replied evenly, giving her a little smile.

“You’re unbelievable.” Shadow sighed, letting her wings flop down by her sides. “You come into my life and you act like you somehow belong in it. What the fuck makes you think I even want you here?”

“Well, you smile a little when I’m around, you say silly things from time to time, you’ve got a super fluffy tummy that’s going to waste…” Fox replied, counting fingers on a hand rendered by magic, “and you’re still wearing that flower I gave you.”

“That’s different!” Shadow protested. “I...I didn’t…”

“Face it, Shadow. I make you happy, just a little.” Fox smiled. “You confuse the fuck out of me with all of the beatings and the shouting and stuff like that, but I know that you make me happy. That’s why I keep trying to make you happy, too.”

“I don’t need anypony to make me happy! I’m plenty happy on my own, thanks!”

“Are you smiling right now?”

“Well...no…” Shadow paused, looking down at her hooves. “But that’s different.”

“Shadow, look…” Fox sighed, trotting up to her and putting a hoof on her cheek. “I really want you to be happy, and I know you’ve been missing other ponies, same as I have. Listen...Rat told me I should be really open with my feelings with you, so you don’t take what I do the wrong way, and the truth is that I think you’re really special, super-pretty and kind and...I just want to see you smile. You’re prettiest when you smile.”

Shadow froze as he touched his hoof to her cheek, feeling them grow incredibly warm again. Her face went red enough qualify for a part-time job as Sky’s mane, but her hooves were rooted to the spot. It was like her body wanted to see what he would do next, though her mind was screaming at her to pull away, to punch him, anything.

“Uh...huh…” She said stupidly.

“You’re a nice pony, Shadow.” He smiled, coming a little closer and kissing her on the nose. “And I know you’re confused, too.”

Ironically enough, kissing her dispelled all of the confusion that Shadow had in her mind. All of the swirling feelings and thoughts that had been messing with her dissolved as she felt his lips against her little fluffy nose, replaced by pure unadulterated clarity. As he pulled away, watching her nervously, Shadow blinked a couple of times, the path ahead very clear indeed. For the first time since she’d met him, she knew how to respond to his friendliness. Nevertheless, she stared at him with a slightly dazed expression on her face, squeaking and whimpering.

“Um...are you okay?” Fox asked worriedly.

“Y...yeah…” Shadow replied shakily, after a moment to collect herself. “Fox...come here...there’s something I...something I’ve gotta tell you…”

* * *

Sky collapsed with exhaustion as she stumbled back into the tower, kicking the door closed behind her. That had one hell of a run on its own, but she’d spend the whole damn night trying to duck the guards and find Rat again. At least she hadn’t run into Daybreak again, but she still worried for him. What if she’d captured him? What if she’d interrogated him and gotten the location of the hideout out of him? Sure, this was more of a safehouse than anything she’d personally call “home,” but she still didn’t want the guards crashing it, especially not with the kids asleep upstairs.

In time, the little white pony caught her breath, shaking her head and looking up the stairs. The first light of day was shining in through the open window up in the living room. Contrary to what one might think, Sky loved daylight. Even though the closest thing she had to a full-time career saw her creeping around in the darkness, she loved the opportunity to just stand out on the balcony and stretch her wings, to feel the warmth of the sun against her body. She didn’t have much time for serenity in her own line of work, and always appreciated it wherever she could find it.

“SKY! RAT! ANYPONY, HELP MEEEEE!” Came a scream from the roof. It was Fox.

So much for peace and quiet… She thought to herself, trotting up to the roof with a sigh. Serenity was boring, anyway.

“What the hell’s going on here?” Sky asked, pushing the roof hatch open.

She froze in place as she took in the scene before her. Shadow was on the edge of the roof with her wings spread, dangling a whimpering little pony over the edge by one of his hind legs. Sky was no genius, but she could perhaps hazard a guess about who it was.

“Nothing…” Shadow growled. “Give me another few minutes, I’ll be done in a second…” She turned her attention back to Fox, shrieking at him. ‘“YOU’D BETTER APOLOGISE RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR I SWEAR I’M GONNA TURN YOU INTO PONY JAM ON THE SIDEWALK!”

Fox squealed a decidedly girly squeal, hiding his head in his hooves. “No! Please! I’m sorry, Shadow! I just wanted you to be happy and I got carried away and...and…please don’t drop me! I’ll do anything!”

“SAY UNCLE!”

“What?”

“SAY UNCLE, MOTHERFUCKER!”

“OKAY! OKAY! UNCLE! JUST LET ME BACK UP, PLEEEEASE!” Fox was inconsolable, crying his eyes out like a newborn. As Sky watched, she saw a little pang of sympathy cross Shadow’s face, the realisation that she’d gone too far overriding her desire to punish Fox for whatever transgression he’d committed. With a sigh and a decidedly adolescent huff, she pulled him back onto the rooftop, dropping him at her hooves and sitting down with a little pout.

“Shadow…” Sky said slowly. “Um...what the fuck was that?”

“He kissed me!”

“Oh.” Sky grinned, laying down. “Well, you shouldn’t do dangling colts off of rooftops to get your revenge on them, sweetie. You’ve gotta be nice.”

“I tried to be nice!” Shadow stamped her hoof huffily. ”He was just being...I dunno…too nice!”

“Luna-fucking-damn it, sis.” Sky giggled, resting her head on her hooves. “Well, I’ve got good news and bad news for the two of you.”

Fox peeked out from between his hooves, cocking his head. “Whe...where’s Rat?”

“I don’t know.” Sky said sadly. “We got jumped by some ponies last night on our way back from Screwdriver’s, but I think the Operatives captured him.”

“Captured?” Fox shook his head, unconvinced. “I’ve seen those things...they don’t capture ponies, they kill them. You saw what happened back in Manehattan…”

“Yeah, but this seems to be a bunch of Operatives who aren’t out to kill us. They’re fighting Rolling Thunder and they don’t want him controlling them.” Sky nodded, as Fox tucked his head under Shadow’s wing, hugging her forelegs. “Course, that means that they’ll have taken him back to the facility in the city centre.”

“So what’s the plan?” Shadow asked, gently stroking Fox’s mane apologetically and looking up at Sky.

“Well, Screwdriver came out with some pretty useful info, as it turns out.” Sky grinned. “Remember when we broke into Silver’s place and found out about that wedding?”

“Yeah…?” Shadow cocked her head.

“Well, turns out that Silver’s got a little amulet that he wears to keep himself invisible to the facility’s security systems.” Sky went on. “That wedding’s our ticket to getting that amulet, and this…” She pulled a poster out of her saddlebag, slapping it down before the two teenagers, “is our ticket to the wedding.”

“The Grand Galloping Gala?” Shadow asked, frowning. “How the hell’s that going to get us into Silver’s wedding?”

“The bride and all of her best friends are gonna be there the night before the wedding. I figure it’s just a matter of sneaking in there and pressing the girls for a little information on our buddy Silver.”

“And that’s gonna help us get Rat back?” Fox asked, peeking out from under Shadow’s huge wing to read the poster.

“Damn right.” Sky nodded. “If we can get into that facility, we can get Rat and the crystals back before anypony else gets hurt, then we can give the fucking things back to the Museum and end this bloody mess.”

“Sounds good.” Shadow grinned, scratching Fox behind the ears and gesturing at Sky. Fox’s leg started involuntarily kicking again, and the poor little colt blushed like mad. “There’s just a few things we need to organise, first.”

“Yeah, I need a ticket, for one…” Sky nodded, giggling quietly at the sight of Shadow’s tickle-torture.

“Well, there is one other thing…” Shadow added, letting Fox go and pacing around her big sister. She had a growing look of cheeky slyness on her face, one that filled Sky with feelings of unease.

“Er...and what’s that, then?”

“Well, you know...the Grand Galloping Gala is a formal occasion for ponies over eighteen…” Shadow said, pointedly avoiding Sky’s gaze.

“Ye...yeah?”

“Well, Fox and I look way too young to get into a place like that.” Shadow grinned. “So I guess that means you’re gonna have to sneak in there yourself and strike up conversation with the bride and her friends, right Fox?”

“Right!” Fox nodded, getting to his hooves and smiling as he caught the look on Shadow’s face. “I mean, nopony ever notices us, anyway.”

“What’s your point?” Sky said, sitting up as her ears flopped back against her head.

“Well, ” Shadow giggled mischievously as she and Fox advanced on her, “it seems to me that somepony’s gonna have to get all dressed up for the occasion? Right sis?”

Sky gulped, shivering in her little horseshoes as the two ponies took her forelegs and led her back towards the roof hatch. This wasn’t going to be good.

“Eep.”

Author's Notes:

Anyone been paying attention to how old Shadow is now?

Next Chapter: Criminally Insane Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 11 Minutes
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Canterlot Burglar

Mature Rated Fiction

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