“I look like a twat.”

“You sure do!” Rat agreed, chuckling. “If it makes you feel any better, this fake moustache is tickling my nose like mad.”

Sky sighed, adjusting her bonnet and glaring at Rat. “I’m not convinced that mares in Manehattan dress like this...like...ever.”

“Yeah, well you’re not from Manehattan, so you wouldn’t know.” Rat shrugged, sticking his tongue out. “Now get in character. You’re supposed to be my loving wife and we’re taking our kids to Celestialand, got it?”

“Right.” Sky sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a long blonde wig and a dress that looked like it was meant for somepony about to go into labour. With her cloak and padded armour stuffed under it, she looked like a winning candidate for the round-Equestria dumpiest mare competition. The bonnet she was wearing to top it all off was the icing on the cake, looking more like something that ponies from two hundred years ago would consider fashionable.

What a mess...the colour doesn’t go with my mane at all...not even my fake one! What the hell is he playing at?

Sky banished the thoughts from her head, lest Rat suddenly reveal that he had some kind of mind-reading spell and could hear her bitching over the colour of her ridiculous disguise.

“Well, I guess I can make it work.” She sighed. “That just leaves the kids.” She glanced over her shoulder at a bush, out of which poked a pair of very big blue wings.

“I’m not coming out!” Shadow barked from the innards of the bush.

“Is this still about what happened last night?” Sky inquired, approaching the bush as if it were a Bengal Tiger. In fairness, Shadow was just as likely to bite when she got like this.

“Wh...what about last night? Nothing happened last night! What did he tell you?” The young mare growled. As Sky peered into the bush, her gaze met a very grumpy pair of bright green eyes.

“Well obviously something happened.” Sky shrugged. “Did you give him flowers like I said?”

“Well...yeah…”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Well...see...he got me flowers, too…”

“Oh.” Sky frowned, thinking for a moment as she concocted another dastardly scheme. “Well, lucky for you I had a super-special backup plan just in case this happened!”

“You...did?” Two fluffy blue ears poked out of the bush as Shadow peered up at her suspiciously.

“Yeah! Like I said, I’m a professional!” Sky waved a hoof dismissively. “Now, you ready for this one?”

“O...kay?”

“Right, so what you wanna do is this. He’s given you flowers and you’ve given him flowers, so instead of being confused, he thinks you’re attracted to him as well.” Sky began.

The filly groaned from within the foliage.

“Yeah, I know, but stay calm, sweetie. I’ve totally planned for this.” Sky smiled sympathetically. “So what you wanna do now is shoot him down before he gets too attached, all the while holding onto your mystique and awesomeness, right?”

“Yeah...and...you know how to do that?” Shadow cocked her head, still a little enthralled by disbelief.

“Sis, trust me. I’ve gotten out of so many relationships in my time. You’ve been there for some of them! You know that I know what I’m talking about!”

“Well...yeah, okay!” Shadow nodded, brightening up. “So what’s the plan?”

“Okay, so you’ve gotta get him alone, first off.” Sky grinned. “Somewhere quiet and nice where it’s just the two of you. Trust me, you don’t be an asshole and shoot a stallion down in front of other ponies. It really hurts their pride.”

“Yeah, I wanna stop him looking at me like that. I don’t wanna fuck him up too badly.” Shadow shook her head with a rustling of leaves.

“Exactly! You’re not a complete bitch. I raised you better than that.” Sky tussled her sister’s mane. “So get him alone, but make it look like you wanna spend time with him, get to know him, you know?”

“And this gets me out of this...how?” Shadow raised her eyebrows, unconvinced.

“Well, you get some time to get him relaxed and at ease to soften the blow, plus you get to keep being friends with him. Hell, if he says something personal, he might even give you some blackmail material for later!” Sky beamed innocently.

“So...spend some time with him, ask him about himself, stuff like that?” Shadow asked.

“Yep! Maybe even do something fun together, like take a walk, go on a ride…”

”Sis!”

“I meant a ride at the theme park, stupid!” Sky pouted. “What is it with you, lately? Anypony would think that that was a Freudian Slip…”

“A Fred-what?” Shadow cocked her head.

“Nothing!” Sky giggled. “Now, do you think you could handle shooting him down like that?”

“Spend some time with him, have some fun, then shoot him down when he’s all relaxed and happy?” Shadow scratched the back of her head, frowning. “Ye...yeah, I can do that...only…”

“Hmm?”

“What if he gets all upset because I blew him out of the water?”

“Well, he’s fourteen. I’m sure he’ll get over it. He’s got his whole life ahead of him, same as you.” Sky shrugged.

Shadow made a slightly irritated noise from inside her bush. Sky did her best to hide a smirk. It was very much a “he’ll never do better than me” kind of noise.

“You can do it, sweetie.” Sky smiled softly, reaching into the bush with a forehoof. Shadow took it in her own, smiling up at her through the branches.

“Yeah...I guess I can.” She whispered. “Tha...thanks, sis.”

“Don’t worry about it. Now how about you come out of there and show everypony your disguise?”

“I’d rather die.”

“Come on, you’re gonna have to come out of there sooner or later!”

“You picked this out on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Rat did. Come on, look at what I’m wearing! There’s no way yours could be that bad!”

“Wanna bet?”

“Oh, well, now I have to see.” Sky giggled, grasping Shadow’s hoof tighter and pulling her out into the open.

The filly rolled her eyes, giving a long-suffering sigh as she resignedly struck a pose. It looked like she, too, had stuffed her cloak and padded armour under a bright orange summer dress. Sky looked her over, trying to keep her expression as neutral as possible.

“Well...that...that’s certainly...something…” She commented.

“I don’t like Rat. Not one bit.” Shadow growled, holding up a fluffy little hoof to hide her face. “Fox put him up to this. I’ll bet you anything.”

“Well, isn’t he gonna be surprised when you kick his ass to the curb in a few hours, then?” Sky grinned, patting Shadow on the back. “For what it’s worth, you look super adorable.”

“Great, now I’m gonna kill him and you.” Shadow huffed.

“Hey, don’t act like there’s anything wrong with being adorable. You’ll need to be as cute as you can to get away with this one.” Sky warned.

“Oh Luna, really?”

“Fraid so, kiddo. Now, put a great big smile on that fluffy little muzzle of yours and go say hi to Fox. Just remember, be nice to him and put him at ease, then drop an anvil on his head, okay?”

“Ugh, fine.” Shadow rolled her eyes in the most adolescent way she could manage. “This had better work, sis.”

“It will, trust me.” Sky smiled encouragingly. “Would I lie to you?”

“Ye…”

“Exactly! Now come on, let’s go meet your public.” Sky butted in, taking Shadow’s hoof and dragging her back towards their new companions.

“Rat, can I ask you a question?” Fox asked, as his big brother adjusted his fake moustache.

“What is it, kid?” He grunted back, looking at himself in the mirror critically.

“Well...yesterday...um...something happened when I gave Shadow those flowers…” The colt said quietly, glancing over his shoulder to see if anypony was eavesdropping.

“Yeah? What was that, then?” Rat raised an eyebrow, turning to face his little brother with interest.

“Well, see...we both sat down…and I gave her some roses with a little card I’d written myself, and she threw these in my face and flew off.” He rummaged in his saddlebag, producing a bunch of little orange flowers.

“Ooooooh!” Rat laughed, holding out his hoof for a hoof-bump. “She really fancies you, kid! You’re in on the ground floor!”

“Really? She got...pre...pretty violent about giving me those.” Fox scratched his head, thoroughly perplexed.

“Well yeah, she would be. She’s obviously confused about her feelings and taking them out on you.” He shrugged. “She’s going to be in a pretty fragile place right now, so just make sure you treat her nice and take good care of her. She’ll come around.”

“Wh...what if she tries punching me again?”

“Well, then you improvise. Don’t punch her back or anything, but do something unexpected, special, something that a mare wouldn’t expect you to do, you know?”

“So...like...kiss her?”

“Oh fuck, no! You’ve gotta pace it properly or she’ll just punch you on the nose. You don’t just kiss a pony to get them to shut up...well...unless they’re a guard, anyway.” Rat chuckled, shaking his head. “No, you’ve gotta surprise them. Boop her nose, compliment her looks, give her a great big hug and make sure she can’t bring her hooves up to kick your ass. You know, stuff like that.”

Fox looked down at his hooves in quiet contemplation. “Do you think she’s gonna be my friend if I’m nice enough to her?”

Rat cocked his head, laying down next to his little brother and nuzzling his cheek. “Hey, kid. You’re the most special little stallion in the whole fucking world. She’d be mad not to be your friend.”

Fox bit his lip, nodding. “I…don’t think she’s ever had friends before. I mean, even I’ve had friends.”

Rat frowned. “Well, you know...I checked through Sky’s diary when I first stole it, and it kinda looks like you and Shadow might have something to bond over.”

The colt perked his ears and cocked his head, looking at Rat inquisitively.

“Looks like she had something happen to her, too. Sounds like everypony but Sky’s been ignoring her for ages...well, until you met her.”

“Wait, so that’s why she hasn’t had any friends?” Fox gasped. “That explains everything! Why she’s so defensive, why she’s so lonely, why she only talks to her sister…”

“Yeah, kid.” Rat nodded. “She’s just like you.”

The younger unicorn was speechless, smoothing his mane back and putting on a baseball cap.

“Rat?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think she’s tired of being lonely, too?”

The stallion bit his lip, nodding pensively. “Yeah, kid. I think that maybe you’re gonna be one hell of a breath of fresh air to her. I guess it’s just a matter of making sure she sees it.”

Fox gave his big brother the biggest hug he could manage, nuzzling into his chest fluff. “Thanks, bro. I think I’ve got a plan, now.”

Rat chuckled quietly, closing his eyes and holding his brother closely. “Don’t mention it, kid.”

His ears perked again as somepony tapped him on the shoulder. He shoved Fox into a nearby bush out of pure reflex, adjusting his little suit and standing up straight.

“Ahem…um...hey, Sky.” He grunted nonchalantly, leaning against the picnic table. His eyes crept from one sister to the other, chuckling quietly at the sight of Shadow in her little orange dress. Both of them looked ridiculous.

“Hey dumbass.” Sky grinned. “You finished having a moment? We’re kinda burning daylight.”

“Moment? Please, princess. I’m a stallion. I don’t have moments.” Rat waved a hoof dismissively. “Come on, let’s go get you your courier.”

Sky and Rat exchanged a knowing smile as they set off, their younger siblings trailing behind them. As they trotted down the street towards the entrance to Equestria’s biggest theme park, Sky glanced back at the two foals.

Fox was trotting right by Shadow’s side with the world’s most earnest, hopeful little smile on his face. The little white mare couldn’t help but smile as she watched her younger sister pointedly trying to ignore him. It was far too adorable.

Maybe keeping those big dumb stallions around isn’t such a bad idea after all.

The four ponies stepped over the threshold to Celestialand, gazing up at the huge copy of Canterlot Castle that dominated the centre of the park. It was an impressive likeness, a bright gold aura framing the faux palace as the sun rose behind it. By magical machination, the light fell on the circular park in the shape of a waning crescent moon, taking the form of a Celestia’s cutie mark as the sun climbed higher. As it finally crested the tallest spire, the entire park began to shine as brightly as a big star, each ride evoking the hidden pocket of childlike whimsy within even the most jaded ponies with its appearance alone.

“Our palace is bigger.” Sky finally commented.

Rat couldn’t help but laugh, fishing through his saddlebags and raising his eyebrows. “Well, we’re in luck! They only charged us for two adults! Guess you didn’t need those disguises after all, guys!” He rounded on Shadow and Fox.

The filly had already pulled her dress off, kicking it into a bush as if it was some kind of venomous all-consuming Smoooze-monster.

“You could’ve checked before you made me wear that thing.” Shadow glowered.

“Could’ve, but didn’t!” Rat snickered. “So, how about Sky and I scout out the roller coaster and you two can go exploring? Sound good?”

Fox nodded briskly, smiling brightly. Shadow looked pleadingly at Sky, who gave her a smile and a conspiratorial wink. The filly, remembering their little plan, took a deep breath and winked back.

“Sure!” Shadow grinned, talking through her teeth. “I’d...love to...hang out and explore with you, Fox. That...sounds like...fu...fun!”

She shot Fox a very uncomfortable sidelong glance, her smile so fixed that she could well have had her lips bolted into place like that. Fox took her hoof and led her away, and as the filly looked wistfully over her shoulder back at Sky, the expression on her big sister’s face told Shadow that she’d been had. She couldn’t even get an expletive out before he’d dragged her into the crowds, out of sight. Sky was safe from the vengeful little pony...for now.

“Awww, wasn’t that cute!” She giggled, hoof-bumping Rat.

“Sure was.” Rat gave an uncharacteristically girly giggle himself. Clearly that blue formula hadn’t worn off completely, or perhaps he’d just been watching the two of them, too. Sky couldn’t begrudge him that. It really was all kinds of cute. “What the hell did you tell her? That’s the least resistance I’ve ever seen!”

“Never you mind, sweete.” Sky grinned, bumping her flank against his. “Now, let’s run some recon and see if we can spot that courier. We’ve gotta do this as subtly as possible in case there are more Operatives hanging around.”

“Yeah, I ain’t exactly keen on saying hi to more of those assholes.” Rat whistled. “So you never did tell me. What the hell happened to get you on the wrong side of these guys? I mean, I’ve had some big jobs in my day, but I’ve never gone and pissed off weapons contractors with their own personal army of super-soldiers. That’s just damn impressive.”

“Tell me about it.” Sky rolled her eyes as she started to weave through the crowd towards the roller coaster. “Would you believe I was framed?”

Rat gave her a Look.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t believe me, either.” Sky snorted. “Some long-time rivals of mine nicked some big ol’ crystals from the Canterlot Museum and let me be the fall pony. Shadow and I started investigating who did it, and we managed to trace them to Silver Tongue and Rolling Thunder. Trouble is...they weren’t exactly keen on us sticking our noses into their business.”

“So now they’re trying to kill you over a little corporate espionage? Sounds like something out of a spy thriller.” Rat raised his eyebrows. “So what, you’re looking to get the crystals back? What then?”

“Well, I’m kinda public enemy number one because they think I’m responsible for the biggest act of terrorism in Equestrian history.” Sky shrugged. “If I give those crystals back, they ought to leave me alone. Then the plan is to hide until the heat dies down and get back to work.”

“Assuming they even drop the charges once you bring them back.” Rat cocked his head.

“I’m hoping I can find some evidence that’ll get Rolling Thunder’s guys incriminated along the way.” Sky frowned. “If I can do that, the guard leave me alone and I don’t have to worry about those Operative assholes. Everypony wins.”

“Except those two.”

“Everypony I give a shit about, then.” Sky corrected herself.

“And then you get your wing fixed and live happily ever after with your little sister.” Rat nodded. “That’s pretty poetic, sugar. Sure it’s not gonna all go to shit?”

“Oh, it’s definitely gonna go to shit.” Sky beamed. “It’s just gonna be a matter of seeing how badly.”

Rat frowned pensively, eyes on her damaged wing. As he reached out with magic, he felt a strange resistance around it, like there was some kind of unpleasant aura defying examination. He’d guessed that that wasn’t the result of mundane stab wounds, but now he was certain of it. This was damage that no simple surgery was going to be able to fix.

Shaking his head to clear his mind, Rat peered through the crowds. That was one thing you could say about Celestialand. It was incredibly popular, and with good reason. The rides, the enchantments, the food, all of it was incredible and exciting. He quietly resolved to take Sky here for pleasure rather than business when all of this was over.

“Those two look promising.” He commented quietly, nudging Sky with his muzzle and nodding towards a pair of stallions under one of the coaster supports.

“What gave them away? The suits and sunglasses or how super-suspicious they look?” Sky giggled quietly. The two of them came to a halt, putting a massive queue between themselves and the pair of stallions, watching. It was unclear whether they or the two misshapen burglars were acting more suspicious.

“Look at those shifty eyes.” Rat muttered, as the two stallions took their sunglasses off. “It’s like they’re watching a fucking tennis match.”

“Tell me about it.” Sky rolled her eyes. “Still, that’s gonna make our job a hell of a lot easier.”

“So what’s the plan?”

Sky gave him a sidelong glance, smirking evilly. Rat caught her eye and took a slightly timid step backwards.

“We’re gonna need a distraction.”

“So...um...Shadow…” Fox asked nervously.

The filly sighed, blowing her mane out of her face. “What do you want?”

“Well, I never got the chance to thank you for giving me those flowers…”

“Don’t mention it.” Shadow interrupted. “Seriously, don’t mention it...like, ever again.”

“Well, I kinda have to.” Fox frowned, glancing across at his new little friend. “I mean, we’d only met yesterday, and then everything went really fast, and...I guess I overreacted.” He sighed. “Look, I’m sorry and I wanna start over. Is that okay?”

Shadow gave him a suspicious look. She’d already been tricked once today, and she was in no mood to have it happen to her again. “What...what are you saying?”

“Just...look, I haven’t had a friend in ages now, and you...well, you’ve never had a friend other than your sister, right?”

“Hey! I have friends other than her, thanks very much!” Shadow huffed reproachfully.

“Yeah? Name three.”

“Well, there’s...Scruffy…” Shadow frowned.

“Yeah? Who’s Scruffy?”

“My stuffed po...I mean, he’s...just...a guy I know in Canterlot, okay?” She waved a hoof, avoiding Fox’s gaze. The young colt sighed, getting the message.

“Okay, that’s one. Who else?”

“Well, there’s...um…” Shadow glanced around the park, inventing wildly. “Er...Dustbin...camera...bottom?”

Fox stopped in his tracks, deadpanning at the now-smiling filly. “Come on, you’re just yanking my horn now.”

“Hey! He’s a real pony! He’s...um...he does...er…” Shadow glanced at a passing pony’s cutie mark. “Embroidery!”

“Embroide...Shadow…” Fox rolled his eyes.

“I have friends! They’re real friends, too!”

“Shadow, you’re embarrassing yourself…” Fox shook his head. “Look, I know. Like I said, I haven’t got any either, okay? They just...ditched me one day.”

“I’m not embarrassing...wait, what?” Shadow paused. “What do you mean?”

“Well...I kinda had an accident one day, and my friends kinda...stopped turning up to play with me.” Fox glanced down at his hooves. “It kinda sucked.”

“Damn, that sounds rough.” Shadow cleared her throat. “What kind of accident? Piss yourself in public? That sort of thing?”

“Please.” Fox chuckled. “I’m way too old for that. Nah, I got hit by a carriage when I was running from the guards, once. Took me out of the game for a few weeks, and when I got better nopony wanted to play with me anymore. Hell, they didn’t even want to hang out.”

Shadow’s brow furrowed as she looked down at the ground. “Um...wow, that actually kinda sucks.” She scratched the back of her head, frowning guiltily. “Er...sorry.”

“No, look, it’s okay.” Fox smiled. “You’re just the first pony to notice me in forever, and you’re the first filly I’ve ever talked to. I know I came on a little strong, but...I dunno, meeting you was something kinda...special.”

Shadow’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times. She didn’t exactly know what to say.

“So...yeah, I don’t wanna fuck this up. Can we just...start over? As friends?”

The filly’s ears perked and she gave him an incredulous look, taking a step back. “Oh...you wanna just be friends?” She asked with some surprise. It didn’t sound like she was pleased with this turn of events.

“Yeah, I mean, like, you and me just hanging out as buddies, you know?” Fox nodded, taking a step closer. “I...I’m sorry about the stuff that happened yesterday, but I don’t...exactly...wanna…you know...lose you.”

“Don’t want me to go the same way as your friends, huh?” Shadow said quietly. She kept her expression as neutral as she could, but inside her head was a storm of confusion and panic. She didn’t know how to react. Hell, nopony had ever poured their heart out to her like that except Sky, and that was different. Why did he do that? Why did he want to be her friend, and why did the prospect of being friends with him make Shadow want to punch the teeth straight out of his ugly head?

Fox nodded bashfully. “It really sucks when you’ve got no friends. Hell, maybe you’ll stop being such a mean little ice-bitch when you’ve had one, too.” He looked up at Shadow, smiling shyly.

Shadow took another step back, bumping into a passing pony and giving a little jumpy squeak. “Who the hell are you calling an ice-bitch?” She glared. “I’m not always an asshole, you know! What about last night?”

“What, when I kissed you and you kicked me in the nads?”

“Ye...yeah! You got off easy! That was pretty nice!”

Fox rolled his eyes, looking around the park searchingly. A sly little grin formed on his face as he spotted something very promising indeed. “Okay, Shadow. I’ll make you a deal. If you can go on one fairground ride with me and be nice all the way through it, I’ll believe you.”

Shadow cocked her head. She didn’t imagine that the teacup ride or the roller coaster would be too hard to sit through with Fox...unless he was one of those assholes who squealed like a newborn at high speeds. “Yeah...I can do that. What’re the conditions?”

“I get to choose the ride.”

Shadow bit her lip. She was familiar with this sort of thing. She’d seen teenagers do it before. A young stallion would take a mare to a really scary ride, and she’d be so terrified that she’d hold onto him for all she’s worth. He must be working off of the assumption that if she couldn’t shout at him or call him names for scaring her, she’d have no choice but to hold him tight and whimper in his hooves.

Fox hasn’t counted on one thing, though. I’m not scared of anything! I can totally take whatever he can throw at me! This little contest’s in the bag…

Shadow locked eyes with the smirking little colt. He thought he was so smart, but she was way smarter. Still, it was nice to let him think he was holding all the cards...for now.

“Deal.” Shadow smiled sweetly.

“Great!” Fox giggled, taking her by the hoof and trotting off into the crowds. “I bet you’re gonna love this ride!”

“I bet I am, too.” Shadow snickered, unable to hide her triumphant giggles. “So what is it? The Sonic Rainboom? Peter Palomino’s Flight?”

“Something way better.” Fox giggled, too. “Trust me, Shadow. This’ll get your heart rate way higher than any roller coaster.”

Shadow, curious, followed Fox’s gaze, and her eyes widened as she saw where they were headed.

“Oh shit, not there…”

“You agreed!”

“No! Not that one!” She yelped. “I can’t do that one! Anywhere else! I’ll go on any other ride in the whole damn park! Just not that one! Please! NOOOOOO!”

Fox’s horn flared, holding her in place as she tried to fly away. Though she beat her powerful wings as desperately as she could, Fox had her caught. There was no escaping from her fate now. She’d agreed to it and she was held fast.

I’ve gotta stop rushing into things. It’s gonna get me in trouble one of these days. She thought to herself as she was carried off.

The two couriers had been expecting ponies staking them out, perhaps even an appearance from the ever-elusive Sky Runner. This, however, was shocking and totally uncalled for.

There appeared to be a park mascot wearing an oversized Celestia head dancing right in front of them. Never before in all of their years doing this job had something so appalling occurred.

Sky watched as Rat danced for the two ponies, her jaw practically touching the floor. Say what you like about the general creepiness of fairground mascots to start with, she was pretty sure that Celestia didn’t hip-thrust like that.

“Rat! You’re scaring the foals!” She mouthed urgently over the couriers’ shoulders. Indeed, more than a few of the younger ponies in the vicinity, confused and scared by the kindly sun-goddess breaking out the dance routine to Sexy And I Know It, were whimpering or bursting into tears. Sky couldn’t blame them. It was the single most frightening, mournful thing she’d ever seen in her life.

Sky started snuffling through the couriers’ saddlebags, using the softest of touches so as not to alert them to her presence. Within she found reports, little coinpurses that she promptly took out of pure habit, everything except…

Ah, there’s the cheeky little bastard… Sky licked her lips, reaching under the bandages of her bad wing and pulling out a little piece of paper she’d prepared earlier. Opening the courier’s envelope as quietly and deftly as she could, she swapped the contents out for her own before carefully placing it back in the stallion’s saddlebag. The little white pony slunk away as Rat kept dancing, creeping back into the crowd and watching the scene unfold before her.

Rat was reared up on his hind legs, having resorted to the only dance he knew how to do that was safe for foals to watch. Regrettably, that left him with the Funky Chicken or nothing at all, and to the stallion’s credit he gave it his all, getting a few laughs out of some of the younger foals present. Though there was an oversized Celestia head obscuring his face, Sky suspected that he was crying humiliated tears somewhere under there.

Of course, it’s not like she wouldn’t have done it herself, but there was a special magically-enforced ordinance in place to prevent Sky from impersonating Celestia after that one time with the stilts, the papier-mache jewellery and the strapon on her head, a day that Sky fondly referred to as the “Anal Kazoo Incident.” Either way, she wasn’t allowed to impersonate the Princess in any way, shape or form anymore, even just to take the piss.

Besides, Rat was rocking that look, shaking his flanks with all the drive and enthusiasm of a pony that had been promised wild sex. It really was amazing what fluttering your eyelashes at a stallion could do, Sky mused. It was as if anything that she couldn’t take could be given freely if she knew who to talk to.

Still, he was nicer than the other ponies she’d met up until this point. A lot of stallions, especially the ones who worked in the Canterlot Underworld, were rude, boorish or driven by nothing but hormones, like Sparky. After he’d robbed her and she’d had to give him a fun time to get her diary back, Sky had been more than willing to file Rat under the same heading as all of the others. However, last night had interested her. He’d shown real concern for her wellbeing. Nopony did that except for Shadow, and she kind of had to. It was part of her occupation.

Yep, Rat was different from everypony else she’d met, like a kind of male unicorn doppelganger, and Sky confessed herself curious. He was bright, friendly once you got past his cockiness, caring and actually kind of sweet. It was kind of nice to have a friend like him, especially considering how tough things were getting. With those Operatives and the guard after her, she was starting to suspect that she’d need all the help she could get.

The little white pony started clapping along with the others as Rat began to do something that might have been break dancing when he first envisioned it. Unfortunately, athletic as he was, he wasn’t really any good at this sort of thing. If this carried on, that stallion was going to get his arse thrown out of the park. Sky couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed watching something quite so much.

Well, I was supposed to give him the signal when it was time to stop. Sky mused. Still...maybe that can wait for a few more minutes…

“This is the worst thing ever.” Shadow huffed.

“Come on Shadow, give it a chance! I’ve never been on this ride either!” Fox chuckled. “You might like it!”

“I’ve never liked anything less in my whole damn life.” The filly crossed her forelegs grumpily.

The ride started, the little safety bar clanging down with all the finality of a cell door sliding shut. It even made much the same noise. The little boat in which the two of them sat started to drift down the Tunnel of Love, basking them both in serenity and silence.

It was horrible.

“Fox, I’m gonna get you for this…” Shadow growled.

“Oh, so you’re gonna let me win the bet? Is that it?” Fox snickered quietly.

The filly paused, looking down at herself before glancing across at Fox. This wasn’t a boat designed to allow ponies any personal space, and she was practically snuggled right up against her.

“Not on your life.” She muttered. “I’ll prove that I can be nice, and then you’re gonna look like a right retard!”

“Go on, then!” Fox smiled, nudging her shoulder with his little nose. “Why don’t you show me what “nice Shadow” looks like?”

The young filly ground her teeth grumpily, her ears splaying back against her head as she spread her wings. “It sure is cold in here. Would you like to snuggle up under my wing?” She asked, smiling as sweetly as she possibly could. Nonetheless, Fox suspected that that little pony would be spitting acid if she could.

Still, those wings did look fluffy and comfortable…

“Thanks, Shadow!” Fox smiled, curling up in her big soft feathers and wrapping his forehooves around her. “You know...you really are a really nice pony once you stop being mean….”

“Don’t push your lu…” Shadow began, before snapping her mouth shut. “I mean...thank you, Fox! You’re really nice, too.”

“You’re talking through your teeth again.”

“I know.”

The two of them sat in silence for a while as the boat drifted down the seemingly infinite tunnel, Fox nestled under Shadow’s wing. She curled the limb around him, practically swaddling the colt in her feathers.

“So...Fox…” She whispered after a while.

“Yeah?”

“Um...you said...you wanted to be friends, right?”

“I sure did!” Fox nodded, staring up at her with those bright amber eyes.

“Oh.”

“You sound kind of disappointed.”

“I’m not disappointed! I’m just...never mind. It’s been a big couple of days.” Shadow shook her head, looking away from Fox and staring at the water.

“You’ve never had a friend before?” Fox whispered. “Is that why you’re upset?”

“I’m not upset. I’m just…” Shadow frowned. “...weirded out, I guess.”

“I guess you would be.” Fox nodded. “This is probably pretty new to you, huh?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s always just been Sky and me. We’ve always hung out, taken care of each other, made each other feel better when we’re sick or sad or scared…” Shadow sighed. “Adding a new pony to the mix is kinda crazy, yeah…”

Fox nodded. “For what it’s worth...I’ll be the best friend ever, just for you.”

Shadow looked pensive, fiddling with her forehooves. “Thanks, I guess.” She muttered, her voice softening a little, becoming more genuinely peaceful. “But you don’t have to get sappy with me. Seriously, that’s the fastest way to get a hoof pushed up your nose.”

“Yeah, well I figure as long as you’re being nice, I might as well take the opportunity. I’m kind of a sappy pony.”

“Great.” Shadow scoffed. “Just my luck. Stuck on a boat with the cheesiest unicorn ever. That’s all I need.”

“Hey, it could be worse.”

“Yeah, I mean, you could be some desperate little unicorn asshole who doesn’t know when he’s out of his depth...oh, wait.” She muttered acidly.

“Yeah, yeah. Fuck you, too.” Fox rolled his eyes, sighing.

Another silence fell on the two of them, Shadow’s last word echoing a little in the tunnel around them.

“So...when you say friend…” She piped up again after a while. “You mean, like, a friend, right? Nothing more...serious?”

“Nope! Just friends!” Fox nodded briskly.

“Cause the Tunnel of Love thing is a bit suspect…”

“Just wanted to see if I could find your nice side, that’s all.” Fox smiled politely.

“Oh.”

“You’re saying that a lot.” He observed. “You sure you’re not disappointed?”

“I say a lot of stuff. Stop reading into it.” Shadow shook her head.

“You know…” Fox whispered. “You don’t have to be my friend if you don’t want to. I’ll understand…”

“No!” Shadow yelped quickly. “No, I...I don’t mind, okay? It’s been a while since anypony acknowledged you. I get that.” She squeezed him a little tighter under her wing. “It’s okay, Fox. I’ll...I’ll be your friend if it means that much to you.”

The little colt grinned as if he’d just been told that Hearth’s Warming had come early, nuzzling her neck softly. “Thanks, Shadow. I’ll be nice and I won’t fuck things up too bad, I promise.” He murmured. “Hey...I’ve...erm...got something for you.”

“You...do?” She looked down at him suspiciously, cocking her head.

“Mmhmm.” Fox’s horn glowed dimly, levitating the bunch of orange flowers out of his saddlebag. “I thought I’d..well...I thought I’d…”

He said nothing more, plucking one flower from the bouquet and weaving it into Shadow’s mane, just behind her ear.

“What...what the hell are you doing?” Shadow whispered, feeling her cheeks heating up again.

“It’s like...a friendship present.” Fox shrugged. “Besides, you look pretty with that flower there. It suits you.”

Shadow’s forehoof twitched, her hoof crossbow snapping open and cycling a sleep dart into it. She glared down at Fox for a while, slowly and shakily raising the weapon. He merely stared at her, silently daring her to repay his friendliness with violence like she always did, to prove him right. Shadow really wanted to shoot him for a variety of reasons, but her pride was on the line. She had to be nice.

Besides… she thought to herself, looking down at her reflection in the water as the boat drifted onwards, he’s right.

With that, Shadow retracted her crossbow, putting a forehoof around his shoulders and sighing resignedly.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

“Wait...was that…?” Fox’s eyes went wide, staring at her in disbelief.

“Erm...I said...fu...fuck you!” Shadow pouted. “You can’t just go sticking flowers in ponies’ hair like that! What if I’m allergic?”

“Are you allergic?”

“No, but I could’ve been, and then I’d be dead and you’d look like a right tool, wouldn’t you?” She glared, sticking her tongue out at him.

“Well, I guess I just took a little leap of faith.” Fox shrugged. “What, you don’t like it when I’m spontaneous?”

“I don’t like it when you’re anything.”

“You’re kind of giving off a lot of mixed signals today, Shadow.” Fox said quietly, narrowing his eyes. “Is there something on your mind?”

“There’s a flower on my head.” She mumbled. “Does that count?”

Fox snickered quietly, and Shadow found that she herself couldn’t help but smile herself, if only at the surreal nature of it all.

Aww, look at him, he’s smiling! Go on, give him a nuzzle!

Shadow’s ears perked. What the hell was she thinking? There was no way in hell she was going to nuzzle that piece of shit! Yeah, she’d agreed to be his friend, but that’s where it ended, right?

Go on, I bet he won’t judge you for it, and Sky’s probably not even watching! She’ll be going after that courier, right? You’re both safe!

She glanced down at Fox, who wasn’t looking at her anymore. He was all tucked up under her huge soft wing, eyes closed as he enjoyed the first peace that the two ponies had known together. He was nestled between her feathers and her chest, resting against her light padded armour. As Shadow watched him, her expression softened just a little more.

Aww, look at him...nopony would mind if you just gave him one little nuzzle. I mean, you’re cuddling him, right? You’re most of the way there!

Shadow bit her lip as she looked down at him, regarding the young stallion with just a little hint of fear. She didn’t know how to handle situations like this, and the worst part was that if she asked Sky, she’d find out all about how Shadow had been tricked into this horrible situation in the first place. Like it or not, this was a decision that that filly was going to have to make for herself.

What if he tells Rat, though? And what if Rat tells Sky? I’d be ruined! She’d never let me forget it, not ever! She shivered a little at the thought of it.

“Are you cold?” Fox asked quietly, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

“I...cold...I...yeah, maybe I am. Like I said, it’s pretty chilly down here.” Shadow said quickly, eyes darting from side to side.

Fox sighed, his horn flaring. The young mare watched as his bright amber magic enveloped her, sending a great warmth through her whole body. For just a moment, it felt a little like the way Sky used to hold her back when she was a tiny little filly, and Shadow gave a frightened little squeak. It wasn’t quite as good as she remembered it, because those were the kind of hugs that no amount of magic could ever bring back, but it was close.

“How does that feel?” Fox closed his eyes again, illuminated by the aura of amber light around his own horn.

Shadow was still shivering out of pure panic, but she was undeniably...happy. Through all of the confusion that came with her adolescence, she was being treated better than anypony else had treated her in living memory, save for her sister.

If this is what having friends is like, then I guess I could get used to it… She thought to herself.

With a tiny nigh-inaudible sigh, Shadow leaned down, nuzzling Fox lightly behind the ear. After all, he’d earned it.

After a moment of weighty contemplation, Shadow drew her wing away shoving Fox into the water with a satisfying splash. After all, he’d earned that, too.