“Okay…” Rat Racer ran his hooves through his mane in exasperation. “Let’s do it again, but this time...you know...not shit.”

“Oi!” Sky crossed her forelegs, offended. “I’m doing my best, thanks! This isn’t something you can just pick up in one day!”

“I managed!” Said Rat defensively.

“Yeah, I’m sure that learning to talk like you’ve got a stick up your ass was really difficult for you.” Sky deadpanned.

“Oh, wow! Was that sarcasm? Careful toots, if you keep that up somepony might mistake the bloody mess coming out of your mouth for wit!”

“Do I have to tie you to the bed again?” Sky growled. “Come on now, this is ‘fate of Equestria’ type stuff we’re talking about. I don’t think we’ve got time to fight, much as I’d like to.”

Rat rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. We’ll drop it and try again, all right?”

“Right.” Sky tucked her wings in, taking a few deep breaths. “Okay, I’m calm. Let’s have another go.”

Rat cleared his throat, drawing himself up to his full height, and spoke.

“Fugged abaht it.”

Sky watched him talk as carefully as she could, mouthing the words back as he finished. She concentrated, letting the words mull around in her head for a few moments. She certainly didn’t know what they meant - heck, for all she knew Rat was teaching her to insult somepony’s aged old mother - but if this was the way to get information on that courier, she was more than happy to play along.

“Fug...fug…” She bit her lip, frowning. “Fugget aboat it.”

Rat facehoofed.

“Your sister’s shit at this.” Fox commented from the sidelines, nudging Shadow.

“Yeah, she is.” Shadow nodded, watching Sky in disbelief. She was too appalled by that shocking performance to tell Fox off. She did, however, reach across and bat him around the back of the head for opening his mouth unbidden.

“Come on, sis! You’ve got this!” Shadow called out as the young colt rubbed his head. “Just pretend you’re a sleazy stallion like this asshole!” She gestured at Rat for emphasis.

Sky nodded, relaxing and loosening her muscles. She leaned against the wall, clearing her throat and adopting the accent of a Manehattanite who simply didn’t care anymore.

“Faggot aboot it.”

“How the fuck did you get Scottish from that?” Rat cocked his head, gaping in shock.

“Forget abahahaha…” Sky waggled her tongue, trailing off.

“Also terrible. Come on, keep going!”

“Far….far…” Sky tried weakly

Rat didn’t even say anything this time, shaking his head mournfully.

“You know what? Screw it!” Sky stamped a forehoof sulkily. “Your accent’s fucking stupid and so are you! Just fugged abaht it!” She stormed out of the hideout in a huff.

Rat stood there for a moment. The two youngsters looked between him and the door, waiting.

After a fashion, Sky poked her head back in. “Um...did I just say what I think I said?”

“Yeah, I think you did.” Rat nodded, grinning at her. “Come on sweetheart, let’s hear it one more time, from the heart.”

Sky trotted back inside, taking a few deep breaths and trying to project the air of a pony who just did not give a single fuck anymore.

“Fugged abaht it.” She smiled.

“By Celestia, I think she’s got it!” Rat chuckled. “If you can hold that accent, then Tommygun won’t even suspect that you’re an outsider!”

“So Tommygun is a big mob boss around here, huh?” Sky asked, cocking her head.

“A bit more than just a mob boss.” Rat shrugged. “He’s in charge of the Manehattan branch of the Marefia. Trust me, nopony does anything in this town without him finding out about it.”

“I guess just asking him to give us this information isn’t gonna work?” Sky asked.

“Nope. You’re gonna have to make him a deal, toots.” Rat shook his head. “Tommygun didn’t get this big by running a charity.”

“Well, I’m sure I could make him a well-rounded offer…” Sky snickered, biting her lip. She couldn’t help but give her flanks a little shake.

“You know...that might just work. Just try not to sound like every other stupid broad that tries to get Tommygun into bed, okay? He kinda doesn’t take kindly to ponies that try to screw him over.”

“Do they tend to disappear or something?”

“Well, not exactly.” Rat explained. “First, you wake up with a disembodied monkey’s head in your bed.”

“Then you disappear?”

“Pretty much.” Rat nodded. “You might want a backup plan.”

“I guess I could appeal to his good character?” Sky gave a hopeful little cheesy grin.

Rat chuckled. “I like your attitude, but I don’t think so. You’ll have to convince him that it’s in his interests to give you this information. Trust me, you do not wanna start negotiating with a mob boss with nothing to bring to the table.”

“You might not wanna add the part about your bounty just hitting 8 million bits.” Shadow added.

“Yeah, that might be a recipe for trouble.” Sky giggled. “Don’t worry, guys. I think I’ve got a plan that’ll make Tommygun see things from my point of view.”

Rat led the way, disappearing down an alleyway between two monstrous skyscrapers. He was quite agile for a unicorn, hopping and skipping over broken bottles, abandoned syringes and other sundry back-alley clutter. Fox came second, following his big brother’s movements with the ease of a pony who’s gotten used to following in someone else’s footsteps. Sky and Shadow brought up the rear, bickering quietly.

“Shadow, if you don’t get off of my back right now, I’m gonna call the glue factory.” Sky growled.

“Hey, it’s been a tiring day! Give me a break!” Shadow pouted. She was still covered in bruises, her wings in desperate need of preening, but she wasn’t that poorly off.

Sky rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t know tiring if it crept up behind you and bit you in the flank, missy.” She chuckled, bucking Shadow off of her back. The younger pony spread her wings, flapping a couple of times to stabilise herself in the air before sticking her tongue out at her big sister.

“Hey, pipe down! We’re almost there!” Rat called over his shoulder with concern. “Sky, are you sure about this?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Sky affirmed, nodding. “I think that when Tommygun hears what I have to say, he’ll fold like a bad hoof of cards.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Rat sighed, finally arriving at the entrance to a below-ground bar. “This is where Tommygun conducts all of his business. Just remember, be polite and don’t do anything stupid.”

“Right.” Sky nodded. “So, are you ready to do your bit?”

“How do you know that they’re even gonna turn up?” He asked, cocking his head.

“The Count really wants me out of the picture.” Sky smiled, descending the stairs. “Besides, I always know when a stallion’s coming.”

Don’t I know… Rat mused as Sky and Shadow trotted merrily down the stairs and into the bar. He wasn’t one to have a double-entendre fly over his head unnoticed.

“Right.” Rat rubbed his hooves together, sighing dully. “Let’s get going. I wanna know if those big bad super-stallions that Sky’s talking about are real.”

“Don’t forget your disguise!” Fox added. His brother cringed.

“Yeaaaah...of course, how could I forget?” He growled, trotting back onto the street with his little brother in tow.

Sky and Shadow stepped into the bar together, glancing nervously at each other. The room was far nicer than it had looked from outside, appearing to be more of a gentlecolts’ club than anything else. There was a bar, some pool tables and a lounge area in the corner. The whole place was populated by stallions and mares in suits.

“Okay, now we’re gonna have to play this carefully, sis…” Shadow whispered. “I dunno much about the Marefia, but I’m pretty sure that they’re not the kind of ponies you wanna piss off.”

“So, what? Use tact?” Sky muttered back.

“Mhm.”

“Great. My middle name is tact!” Sky beamed, nudging her sister. “Watch this.”

“Oh no…”

Sky stepped forward, clearing her throat. “AAAAAAY,” She intoned in her best Manehattan accent, “Which one of you bozos is Tommygun?”

There were already a few stallions sending questioning glances her way, but now she had the attention of the entire bar. Everypony there was staring at her with varying levels of incredulity, more than a few of them wide-eyed. Whatever she’d just done, it had probably taken more balls than even a blue dart could provide.

“Sis…just...no!” Shadow facehoofed. “I meant, like, more tact than that!”

Sky looked around at her nervously. “Do you think I fucked up?”

“Do I think you fucked up? DO I THINK YOU FUCKED UP? YOU JUST CALLED THE ENTIRE MAREFIA BOZOS!” Shadow waved her hooves madly. “You couldn’t possibly fuck up more unless you pissed on Celestia!”

“Oops.” Sky squeaked quietly, looking back at the approaching stallions with wide eyes of her own. “Er...hey fellas…”

“So, you wanna see Tommygun, huh?” One of them growled, standing over her. He was at least twice Sky’s size.

“Um...yes, please?” Sky seemed to shrink in front of him, nodding with a nervous little gulp.

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so?” He chuckled. “Come on, come with us.”

With that, he grabbed Sky by the mane and the stallions began dragging her off. Sky struggled to keep pace with them, glancing nervously at Shadow. Her little sister was clearly getting preferential treatment, trotting alongside her unmolested.

She must look bad enough as she is. Poor little filly… Sky sighed, noting Shadow’s bruises.

“It’ll be okay, sis.” Shadow patted the bow on her back. “I’ll cover your back if this all goes to hit. Don’t you worry.”

“I’m not worried. Not for a second.” Sky smiled. “You and me can do anything together, right?”

“Damn right.” Shadow beamed back, bumping flanks with her. “Now, let’s go meet Mr Tommygun.”

As luck would have it, it was at this moment that they were led through a pair of oak double doors, into an ornate office with walls of pure black marble. Behind a mahogany desk sat a stallion, larger than the others, who tilted his head with interest as the mobsters deposited the two ponies before him.

“The hell is this?” He asked.

Wow, his accent is thick…

“She was looking for you, boss.” One of the mobsters shrugged. The assembled ponies were forming a semi-circle around Sky in case she tried anything, though the only thing the little white pony was tempted to do right now was run.

Tommygun put his forehooves together, peering at Sky from across the desk like a predator inspecting its prey.

“Well hey, you found me, toots.” He smirked, chuckling a little as he got up from his seat. “Now tell me, what can your ol’ pal Tommyguns do for ya, huh?”

Shadow nudged her sister with her nose. “Go on...go ahead, and don’t forget to use that stupid accent.”

“Right.” Sky ruffled Shadow’s mane, stepping forward and clearing her throat. “Uh...hey, um...boss. I got news for you, something you’ll be real interested in…”

“Sorry to burst your bubble sweetheart, but I was raised here. I can tell when somepony’s trying to play me like a harp.” Tommyguns interrupted, holding up a hoof to silence her. “Lemme guess...high Canterlot, right? You don’t look it, but you sound it.”

Sky paused, biting her lip. “Well…that didn’t work…”

Guess we’ve gotta see what he does.

“The million bit question is what’s brought you out from Canterlot in the first place.” Tommygun went on, trotting over to a liquor cabinet and helping himself to a glass of red wine. “I mean, you’ve gone a long way out of your way to come find me, and that means you really want something, right?” He looked her up and down. “You’re not a bounty hunter, that’s for sure. Not edgy enough.”

“Yeah, I’m not here to give you any shit, sweetie.” Sky shook her head, letting her voice fall back into her normal sexy high Canterlot accent. “I’m here to ask you for information on somepony doing courier work between Manehattan and Canterlot. Can you help me out?”

“Help you out? Sure, I can help you out!” Tommygun leaned on his desk, sipping his wine and chuckling. “Thing is, I don’t just give information away, toots. You’re gonna have to make me an offer if you want anything out of me.”

“I know, and I’ve got a few ideas for helping you see things my way.” Sky replied evenly. “If you don’t help me, then your whole operation is gonna be at risk, and you’d better believe it when I say that this lot aren’t gonna be able to protect you.” She nodded at the ponies assembled around her.

Tommygun’s eyes narrowed. “Are you threatening me?”

“More like a warning.” Sky shrugged. “Sort of a “our whole way of life is about to be changed forever” kinda deal?”

“Well you got my attention, sweetheart.” Tommygun smiled pleasantly. “What’s this amazing “world-changing” shit that you wanted to tell me?”

Sky was beginning to suspect that Tommygun was humouring her, but she pressed on nonetheless.

“Well, what if I told you that somepony in Canterlot’s found a way to make these fucked-up super-soldier things?” She began.

Oh boy, this is a hard sell already…

“Okay, let me stop you there.” Tommygun waved a hoof. “You’re embarrassing yourself. I’m not interested in crazy-ass shit about super-soldiers and aliens, okay?”

“You’re gonna look like a right stupid prick if you ignore me, mate.” Sky frowned. “You and I have gotta work together on this or you’re fucked.”

“Yeah, and why’s that?” Tommygun asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Because,” Sky grinned, “in about five minutes a whole bunch of them are gonna come here and kill every damn one of us.”