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Canterlot Burglar

by Happycamper

Chapter 22: Out Of A Job

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Sky and Shadow sat down at a little picnic table in Central Park and frowned in unison.

“So I’ve still got my money.” Sky frowned, checking through her saddlebags. “And you’ve got your stuff too, right?”

“Right.” Shadow nodded, giving the contents of her bags a cursory glance as well.

“So I got pickpocketed by somepony who was interested in information, not in money. Weird.” Sky huffed, fiddling with her forehooves. “Who the hell does that?”

“Could be one of the Count’s guys.” Shadow shrugged. “I mean, we know that he’s interested in you, right?”

“Well, yeah.” Sky said, nodding. “I dunno why he’d hire a pickpocket instead of an assassin, though.”

“Yeah, considering how subtle he’s been so far, it seems like a weird gear-shift.” Shadow chuckled. “But hey, if this guy’s a regular in Manehattan, maybe those underground contacts can help you track him down. I mean, we don’t exactly want that diary ending up in the wrong hooves, right?”

“That’s rich, coming from the pony who reads the fucking thing out to anyone who asks nicely.” Sky stuck her tongue out, crossing her forelegs sulkily.

“Oi! There’s a difference between a little light pranking and straight-up nicking your diary!” Shadow pouted defensively. “Besides, I only read out the embarrassing stuff, like that one time you played “Where Did I Hide The Mistletoe On My Body” for Hearth’s Warming.” She cringed only a little on saying this. I didn’t even know you could put mistletoe there… “I’ve never gone and read the important shit. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sky nodded, shuddering. “Ugh...the idea of some creep going through my stuff, finding out stuff I’ve never told anypony…”

“It’s turning you on, isn’t it?” Shadow deadpanned.

“Maybe a little.” Sky conceded. “But you’re right, this is serious shit. I never thought I’d say this, but...I’ll get laid later.” She shuddered again, not fully believing that those words had come out of her mouth. This was clearly a most serious matter indeed.

Shadow stared at her incredulously. “Um...who the hell are you and what did you do with my big sister?”

Sky rolled her eyes, giving Shadow a gentle smack around the back of the head. “Come on you cheeky fuck, let’s go find out who nicked my diary so I can give them a good kicking.”

The two of them got up, slinging their saddlebags over their backs and sharing a quick nuzzle before trotting off across the park. Sky was more wary than ever as they made their way down the path, the nightmare from earlier still fresh in her mind. She didn’t even register the ponies around her as worry began to creep in. Even the simple act of walking down the path with her saddlebags full of her equipment put that little bit of extra weight on her back, enough that she had to check under her good wing to see if there was a shovel strapped there.

What she found, upon inspection, was a little adolescent pony giving her a searching look.

“Sis?” Shadow asked, her voice a little shaky and dripping with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m...just a little on edge, I guess.” Sky sighed, settling into a brisk trot. “All of this shit with Rolling Thunder’s kinda stressing me out.”

“Not to mention the nightmares.” Shadow added quietly, wary of other ponies overhearing the two of them.

Sky’s ears perked. “Uh...yeah...well...about that…” She looked away, frowning. “It’s no big deal, really. It’s just kind of a shitty dream, that’s all…”

“Sis?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re full of shit, you stupid birdhorse.” Shadow deadpanned. “You do know that you talk in your sleep, right?”

“I...erm...I do?” Sky asked awkwardly, now actively trying to avoid her little sister’s accusing glare.

“I was there for that job too, sis.” Shadow said quietly, nuzzling Sky’s shoulder. “It all went to shit, but there’s nothing to be scared of, and I definitely don’t want you hiding shit from me. I always find out anyway, right?”

“Yeah, I guess you do…” Sky rolled her eyes, smiling weakly. “Fine, I was having nightmares. I just didn’t wanna scare you, that’s all.”

“Sis, I don’t get scared because of your nightmares.” Shadow shook her head, taking off and hovering next to her. “Hell, I’m not scared of anything!

“Sure you’re not.” Sky chuckled, sighing. “I...guess I kinda was.”

“It was a tough night.” Shadow smiled, putting a hoof on her big sister’s shoulder. “You’re allowed to be scared. I mean, a lot of shit went wrong, huh?”

“Yeah.” Sky turned, nuzzling Shadow’s cheek in midair. “What’s important is that one thing went right. You stayed alive.”

“It was kind of a close one, mind.” Shadow chuckled, going pink with embarrassment. She always has to get sappy in public, damn it…

“That’s why we’re gonna play it safe this time.” Sky nodded. “We stay out of the way of the Count’s little club full of assholes, we get this courier’s instructions, we damn well disappear. Neither of us’ll be in danger, okay?”

“Sure.” Shadow grinned. “Still, we’ve gotta have some fun in the meantime, right?”

“That’s what today’s little detour is going to be all about.” Sky winked. “We track down the asshole who nicked my diary and kick him in the nads so hard that he chokes on his own balls.”

”Now you’re sounding like my big sis.” Shadow nudged, coming in to land next to the elder pony. “Just remember, whenever you feel sad or scared, just come and whisper in my ear or something and I’ll give you the biggest hug ever.” She nuzzled Sky’s neck this time, wrapping one of her wings around her big sister’s back. “Just...don’t go randomly cuddling me in public, okay?”

Sky rolled her eyes again. “What, afraid that I might embarrass you in front of a hot colt or something?” She stopped, looking around and meeting Shadow’s gaze again. “Hey...erm...sis?”

“Yeah?” Shadow’s ears perked as she looked up at Sky with a bright smile on her face.

“Thanks. I really needed that.” Sky closed her eyes, nuzzling the younger pony again and smiling. “You’re the most special pony in the whole damn world.”

“And this special little pony’s gonna stick by your side forever. Don’t you worry.” Shadow grinned, nudging her with a forehoof. “Now, how about you and me go and ruin somepony’s day?”

Sky’s smile widened as she took her little sister’s forehoof, squeezing it.

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard in ages.”

And with that, the two little ponies trotted off into the city centre to look for information.

* * *

Stronghooves smiled pleasantly as he was led down the sterile white corridor by two large stallions. He gave each of them a cursory glance, recognising the one on the right as the delightful colt who’d knocked him out earlier.

“I hope there aren’t any hard feelings, my friend.” Stronghooves beamed at the earth pony.

The Operative grunted. “Of course not!” He smiled back mirthlessly. “I’m sure you had a great reason for fucking up a bunch of my buddies and repeatedly disobeying orders! Why would there be any hard feelings?”

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Stronghooves asked curiously.

Neither stallion spoke for a while, until the Operative on his left, a unicorn, nodded silently.

“See? This guy knows what I’m talking about.” Stronghooves beamed. “Sir, what would you do to keep them safe?”

“Just about anything.” The unicorn replied, his voice nothing more than a grudging murmur. “I dunno if I’d disobey my orders, though.”

“I never thought I would either.” Stronghooves nodded as they approached the elevator. “I’m the Captain of the Royal Guard, my friend. I’ve spent my whole adult life obeying orders. I just...couldn’t kill my own family. I don’t know if most ponies could do a thing like that.”

“Maybe it was necessary.” The unicorn shrugged, calling the lift down with a tiny magical impulse from his horn. “This programme’s kind of a big deal. This is the safety of Equestria we’re talking about.”

“Yeah, we’re the good guys, right?” Stronghooves agreed, nodding. “Tell me, do you feel like good guys right now, holding a pony captive for trying to defend his little sister? Do you think that the ponies who sent three super-soldiers to kill one poor crippled little pegasus mare are good guys?”

There was silence as the three ponies waited for the elevator. Neither of the Operatives would meet Stronghooves’s gaze.

“That’s what I thought.” He said quietly, after a moment. “You two are headed down a path of self-destruction at the hooves of ponies who only care about money. Today it’s my sister they want dead. Someday it might be your mother, your father, your brother, maybe even your own foals. I hope you make the same choice I made today.”

The two Operatives led him into the elevator, hitting a button and standing in awkward silence as it spirited them towards the top floor towards Silver Tongue’s office. The unicorn and the earth pony were both struck dumb by Stronghooves, unable to mount any kind of counter-argument. Perhaps it was because they suspected that he was right.

In time, the elevator dinged and the three stallions stepped out into a much shorter corridor. They strode through the double oak doors and deposited Stronghooves in front of Silver Tongue’s desk.

The executive peered over his spectacles at Stronghooves like a bemused headmaster inspecting a disobedient student.

“I thought I made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t going to tolerate disobedience.” Silver commented, sitting back in his chair. Stronghooves knew that he was trying to suppress a grin.

Stuck-up bastard…

“I thought I made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t going to tolerate attempted murder.” Stronghooves replied evenly, glaring back at Silver confidently.

“You’re the only pony here who’s committed murder so far.” Silver put his hooves together, raising his eyebrows.

“Yes, in defence of another pony. Funnily enough, that’s legal under Equestrian law. In fact, it’s in my job description.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Silver rolled his eyes. “You’re our employee first and a guard second. You were given orders and you not only failed to follow them, but you’ve gone and killed three of our Operatives now. Do you have any idea how difficult it’s going to be to replace those ponies?”

“With respect Silver, you’re full of shit.” Stronghooves shook his head disbelievingly. “I’m neither a guard nor an employee first. I’m a big brother and my sister’s safety means more to me than all the money and mad science in the world.”

Silver raised his eyebrows. “Big brother, you say? So this pony you’ve been defending, this nobody who practically lives on the streets...she’s your sister?”

Stronghooves gave a small smile, trying to ignore the acid in Silver’s voice. “Yes.”

“So that’s what all of this was about.” Silver sighed. “My word, I’d been wondering whether you had some kind of conflict of interest in this project. A jilted lover, an old friend, a rival, something like that, but her big brother?” He sat back, chuckling. “How can a stallion with your track record possibly be related to...well…that?”

Stronghooves’s smile disappeared. “I’m sure that you’d love to hear that story, but I’ve already told it once today. I’m not one for inflicting my backstory on everypony like that bounty hunter you seem to have sent after her as well.”

Silver smiled, eyes glinting. “So what you’re saying is that you failed her as a brother? I mean, that seems like the only way I can see her turning into a criminal. No wonder you tried to pretend that you were an only child.”

“I never tried to pretend that I was an only child.” Stronghooves shook his head. “You’ve got no idea what the hell you’re talking about, so I’d advise that you shut your face.” His smile was long gone by now, glaring coldly at his former employer.

“My my! Such language!” Silver grinned. “Don’t worry Stronghooves. We’ll take good care of your sister for you. As for you...well...you’re fired. As stipulated in your contract, you’ll have your enhancements removed before being moved to a cell, where we’ll keep you in our custody until we no longer consider you a threat.” He nodded to the two flanking stallions, adjusting his spectacles. “Take him away, please.”

“You don’t know what you’re doing.” Stronghooves shook his head as the Operatives started leading him away. “Silver, you’re going to get every one of these ponies killed if you’re not careful!”

“We’ll only remove the ponies we have to.” Silver shook his head. “Don’t worry Stronghooves, we’ll be sure to misname Sky in her obituary. Your professional career as a guard will remain untarnished. It’s the least we can do in exchange for your silence about this programme.”

“What part of ‘being a guard doesn’t matter to me’ don’t you get? Don’t you bloody well know that there are more important things in life than your damn career?” Stronghooves growled. “What’s the bloody point of being successful if you don’t have ponies to love?”

“Well, it looks like somepony’s getting angry.” Silver tutted, shaking his head. “That’s a shame. We were having such a civil conversation up to this point.”

“Yeah, we were, and then you had to go and bloody well tread in it, didn’t you?” Stronghooves spat, pulling against his captors and growling at Silver. “You don’t know what the fuck you’ve just gotten yourself into.”

“Your emotions have clouded your mind, Captain.” Silver shook his head, speaking as a teacher to a rather slow foal. “You’re so fixated on your little sister, even after all the time you no doubt spent neglecting her, that you can’t see that there are far more important things at stake.”

“And your coldness has clouded yours.” Stronghooves replied, trying to control himself. His horn sparked a little, a little magic suppressor ring wrapped around it to confound his magic. In a way, he was thankful for it. It was the only reason that Silver wasn’t sprayed across the back wall by now. “I told you that I couldn’t work with ponies who are only motivated by money. Nopony with Equestria’s best interests at heart would put so little value on a pony’s life.”

Silver sighed. “Perhaps when your sister is removed from the equation, you’ll begin to see things a little more clearly. In the meantime, I think it’s about time you cooled down. Guards, please, remove this unruly stallion. Strip him of his enhancements and put him in a holding cell until we have confirmation that Miss Runner has been terminated.”

Stronghooves sighed, bowing his head as the stallions led him off towards the elevator again. He hated Silver more than anypony else right now. Left to his own devices that executive’s neck would have been snapped long before now, but that wouldn’t call off the hit on Sky. Stronghooves realised that the only way to stop his sister from dying before he could help her was to protect her himself

Wasn’t like I was planning on staying in those cells for very long anyway. He mused. If he wanted to help his sister, he had to approach this problem the same way she would.

That meant that he’d have to escape.

Next Chapter: Rat Racer Estimated time remaining: 12 Hours, 6 Minutes
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Canterlot Burglar

Mature Rated Fiction

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