I'm beginning to understand why it is that I don't try. It seems I'll just never be good enough. I used to try things, and I thought I should give it another go. Once again though all I heard was ponies telling me I could do better. All I heard was them saying that I wasn't good enough. At first it seemed like maybe they were trying to get me to better myself but as time went on it became obvious that this wasn't the case. I could tell that they all didn't like me and that they really thought I could never be good enough. Do you have any idea what that's like? To be told constantly that you're not good enough? To be told that you'll never be able to do what you want to do?

I suppose while none of you told me that outright, I knew that's what you were all thinking. None of you thought that I could do what I wanted to do. None of you ever thought I was good enough. Instead of trying to help and support me though all you did was tell me that I wasn't good enough. I thought that you liked me, and that you wanted me to be the best I could be, but in the end I guess I was wrong.

I guess I was foolish to hope wasn't I? It's hardly the first thing I've been a fool to hope for I guess.

This time though I really thought things could have been different. I thought that this time I was with people who really did love me and didn't just say it. Even if it was false hope you gave me, for a while it was hope at least. The people before didn't even give me false hope. They just told me outright that I could never do or be anything. All I was to them was a worthless little filly who couldn't do anything right.

I think that's why they abandoned me really. Everypony has abandoned me in the end but it really started back then. They were the first to abandon me. I could never be good enough for them so they didn't even bother trying. They just shipped me off to the orphanage and made me somepony eleses problem. Before they dropped me off I overheard that my mum was pregnant again. I heard my dad say that he hoped that the new foal wouldn't be a worthless chicken this time. Personally I think they only have themselves to blame for that. The people in the orphange weren't so bad at first. They felt sorry for me and tried to show me I wasn't worthless but eventually they gave up on me too. Nopony wanted to adopt a Pegasus that couldn't fly. The one and only time I managed to succeed at anything was when I escaped from there on a scooter they let me play with.

If my parents are to blame for how I turned out though then why am I the one being punished? Why am I the one who is left broken and alone? Why am I the one who can't fly? Why am I the one who has to sleep in a clubhouse in the middle of a farm because I have nowhere else to go?

Are you shocked to learn this is where I live? I suppose you would be. You never cared enough to ask me things about my life. You can say you just assumed things but I won't believe you. You just didn't care enough. When we tried being on the school paper and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were with their sisters, where was I? I was alone, like I've always been. Did anypony care to ask me why I was alone? Of course not, they were all too busy playing happy families to notice me.

I remember one time Sweetie Belle and Rarity got in to a fight and Apple Bloom said Sweetie could borrow Applejack for the day. It was something to do with ponies and their sisters and some silly competition. I don't know what happened really because, once again, I wasn't there. I didn't have a sister, and I don't think I ever will. I'll probably never have a loving family. I sometimes wonder why she never gave me that offer, so I knew what it was like to have a sister, but I suppose that, once again, she just didn't care enough about me. I know we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and we've made a promise to always be there for eachother, but you guys aren't here when it's cold at night and when I'm scared. You tease me and you don't know how much your words can hurt. You laugh at me and call me a chicken. Sometimes you're no better than Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon with how you treat me.

Don't even get me started on those two. Calling me names like "Blank Flank" while Miss Cheerilee just watches as the other kids in class laugh at us. At all of us. You guys seem to be able to just brush it off and go about your day but it gets to me. When it's dark and all I have are my own thoughts to keep me company.

I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of being called a chicken and I'm tired of ponies thinking that I can't fly. I don't care what it takes, I don't care anymore if I live or die. In fact I'm making that my oath right now. This is it. I don't care what happens to me any more. I'm going to Ghastly Gorge and I'm going to prove once and for all that I can fly, no matter what you say. I'm going to go there and I'm going to jump off of the side in to the gorge and whether I live or die, well that's up to if I fly I guess. This life so far has been nothing but pain and one way or another I plan to be free from it.

I swear I'm going to fly, and prove you all wrong. I can be good enough. If I can't, then at least I'm going to be free. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.

~Scootaloo.

"Oh...buck..." Rainbow Dash said to herself as she read the letter that had been left in the clubhouse. She promptly set off in to the air, in the direction of Ghastly Gorge. She prayed she wasn't too late.

Author's Notes:

As the description said this is my first attempt at writing a sadfic and I wrote it at 2AM whilst feeling utterly depressed and worthless myself. Expect the second half of the story either by the end of the week or early next week.