Dear Diary,

Around this point I am starting to run out of ways to describe just what the hell is going on. This girl in my head is really starting to unnerve me…

I had my eyes closed, but I could still feel the sun on my face, slightly shadowed for by what I assumed to be Flutter-something. She was tapping her fingers lightly on my chest and I could feel her hair fall down around my neck and tickle me.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”

I hastily opened my eyes and pushed myself forward, but didn’t get far. Flutter-something’s hand didn’t let me. She smiled at me. What the hell? I could have sworn that it wasn’t her voice that had… never mind. Didn’t matter. Flutter-something was already clothed, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“We arrive in a couple of minutes. You… you should get dressed,” she blushed a little she said the last part. She looked like she was about to say something, but instead she got to her feet and headed into the other cart with one last glance thrown at me over the shoulder as she did. Looking around, I could see that the beds had been used.

“Had a fun time?” the voice from before spoke again and the girl with the insect wings jumped down from… the ceiling? I had no idea. She came down from above, one way or another. “I know I had. Watching you two… oh my, that is one messed up girl. I like her already.”

“Mhm,” I didn’t answer with much clarity. Her naked body was something of a distraction from what was essentially empty talk. Why she didn’t wear clothes was something of a mystery, but when you’re in this place, I’d guess it didn’t matter. No one but me seemed to be aware that she was around. I had one question for her though. “What’s your name?”

“My… name?”

While I started to get dressed, she just stared at me for a while. She hadn’t seen that coming. I had to smile a little to myself, getting her off-script like that. Always felt good to do, if you were debating someone at least.

“Yes, your name. What is it? I mean, if you’re going to keep in touch, we might as well get introduced, though I’d wager you already know my name.”

“Well, yes, but…” She looked confused. She really hadn’t expected this. “Aren’t you… but you… what? Why are you suddenly taking such an interest in me?”

“Am I?” Now it was my time to be a little confused, though I tried to keep a twinkle in my eye and appear on top of the situation. Wasn’t I trying to be a little devious and, as an added benefit, polite? “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice.”

“I’m… not sure,” she continued to stare for a while, before she let out a sigh. “Fine. I’ll tell you. My name is Number 347.”

“That… isn’t quite what I expected. Not your real name, I presume.”

“It is the name I was given by the Queen.”

“How about I call you Molly? You look like you could be a Molly.”

“Molly? I- I don’t know. I guess? Sure, you can call me that.”

She reached out her hand for me to take. As soon as I got my jeans on properly, I returned the favor.

“Hi, I’m Molly. Pleased to make your acquaintance. Properly, at least.”

Once I gave her my name, we both had to laugh a little. She had been living in my head for a couple of days and first now we got introduced. Fun times, fun times. And at least now I had a name for whoever it was. Molly sounded much better than “that night black girl with a crooked horn and insect-resembling wings” in my head. And much better than Number 347. That last part was more unnerving than anything. Too high a number.

“Hi! How did it go with Fluttershy!? Did she give you a merry welcome to Equestria!?”

I found myself landing on the bed again with something pink, talkative and energetic on top of me, strangling me in a hug that pushed my head hard against her chest. If it wasn’t for the toys in front, that apparently also worked well as life support in situations like this, I’d have more trouble breathing than I’d realistically survive for long.

“Yes, I’d say so,” I tried my best to create enough room for my mouth to speak the words properly, but it was hard to say if it worked. Pinkie seemed to have gotten the gist of what I said though, even if it hadn’t.

“That is awesome! She is normally so shy, so that makes it extra, super-duper awesome that she gave you a warm welcome! I hope she did better work than my first welcome to you, because that was sloppy handiwork compared to what I like to think I can do! But I was soo focused on what I should do for you on your Welcome to Ponyville party that I just couldn’t put my all into it!”

“I’m going to have to make it to that party,” Molly, who had taken a seat on the bed next to us, chuckled and started to run her hands over Pinkie’s body. Pinkie didn’t seem to notice that it happened. “This one is a whole lot of fun at parties.”

“Great Pinkie, but could you let go? It is getting hard to breathe!”

A halfway muffled shout crossed my lips. And blood had started to rush down to the thing between my legs because of the extent of the physical contact with her chest area. And because of Molly, of course, though I could hardly see her from where I was. Not before Pinkie let go anyway.

“Sorry, got overexcited. Again,” Pinkie sat back, right on top of my growing member. Her expression changed to one that plainly said “Ooh” without her having to utter a sound. “You got a little excited yourself. We’re going to find a way to take of that soon. No fun to waste it.”

“Pinkie! We’re leaving no- oh,” Rainbow Dash opened the door and put her head through the door, but, perhaps unwillingly, took a step in when she saw what was going on with Pinkie sitting on top of me. “Heh, excuse me. Giving him your Welcome to Ponyville, are you?”

“Nope! Just talking about having to take care of this,” Pinkie jumped off me and put a hand between by legs, making the outlines of the thing visible through the jeans. She didn’t seem to be bothered at all about what she was talking about, though I felt that some of the blood had found its way to my head. My cheeks were getting warmer. “Could you help me with that later, if we get the chance? No fun being teased this much and getting nothing.”

I wasn’t the only one who blushed. Rainbow Dash’s light blue skin had started to take a turn for the red itself, though it looked a little bit more purple. Probably because of the skin.

“Um,” she started and suddenly started to look at everything in the room except Pinkie and me. “I should go.”

“Aww, she’ll come around,” as soon as Rainbow closed the door behind her, Pinkie turned back to me. Molly looked like she was enjoying the show. I had to say, I did too. “Or maybe I could get Applejack or Twilight to do it. That would be fun. Or maybe, just maybe, I could get Rarity to help me. Wouldn’t that be really awesome!? You already know how sexy she is. I think there is also a theoretical possibility that I can get one of the princesses to help me, but I don’t know if they’re into doing stuff like that. This is going to be so much fun!”

At this point, I had concluded that she was just rambling, though it was a fun ramble to listen to. However, when we heard a collection of voices yell “Pinkie” at the top of their lounges, we both sort of woke up. About 5,748 seconds later, I was standing on the train station with the rest of the group.

Applejack looked at us with a raised eyebrow, Flutter-something and Rainbow Dash blushed and looked away, Rarity ignored me entirely and Spike was using the opportunity to stare at Rarity’s behind. I couldn’t blame him for that, her pants showed the form of it rather well.

“Ugh, let’s just get to the castle without wasting any more time, shall we?” Twilight sounded a little angry and gave Pinkie an annoyed look that apparently did nothing to affect the mood of Hurricane Pinkie. All nodded though.

**

We had gotten off the train station with little to no effort. It was very early in the morning and the sun had just gotten up. Most people were not crowding up this place it seemed, unlike home. The sun was usually late to the party there. Now we were walking down the streets towards the castle as people emerged from the houses and stores, going to work or opening their stores. Many also greeted the group in one way or another. Not surprising, with Princess Twilight Sparkle amongst us.

I noticed that there was a very high amount of people with horns and few with wings among the ones I saw. Not too many without either, but they were there. Probably a regional thing. A crowded city probably wouldn’t feel very much like home for winged people.

The castle or palace or whatever they called it approached in the distance. Now and then Molly appeared in my vision, standing by one of the many stands that were being set up as if she was browsing the wares. Granted, she was looking at the people and not the actual wares. She apparently felt free to touch anything and everything she examined too, but no one seemed to notice that it happened. I noticed that she didn’t bite anyone. Special privilege for me apparently.

“Princess,” we had reached the gates to the castle exterior and the guard gave salute before he opened the gate. He did seem to raise an eyebrow at me, but it was hard to say for sure. I only had a slit second to see it and he had a helmet that obscured much of his face.

“Welcome to Castle Canterlot! Is it your first time? I think it is your first time! Am I right about it being your first time!?”

Pinkie went all insane and hyper again, but I managed to dodge the hug just barely. She accidently grabbed Spike instead.

“Umm… I was born here?” he replied, trying to break free of her grip. Like with me, it showed to have little effect.

“Where did- there you are!”

“Ah!” Pinkie realized her mistake and aimed for me with her eyes open this time. “Yes! Yes, it is my first time here! Let. Go!”

After a struggle that lasted about ten seconds she gave up. Sort of. Instead of strangling me in a hug, she took a seat on my back. And subsequently found herself on the ground again. I wasn’t really in the mood for that, so I shrugged her off me before she could take a proper grip.

The rest of the group just shrugged their heads and continued on, me included. It only took a couple of seconds for her to catch up, but the point lied in the gesture. I wondered what it would take for her to get the idea that this wasn’t the time.

**

“Princess Twilight Sparkle,” another guard, this one stationed outside the gate to the palace itself, greeted us and opened the gate. Must be a boring job, opening gates all day. On the order of the same guard, we remained in the entrance hall, waiting for whoever it was to arrive and tell us about what the hell was going on and why I had been dragged off to a city I have little to no business in to begin with. Well, I sort of belonged here, given where I was from and that the only ones with the knowledge to figure out how I could get back were here, but that was beside the point. The message that had called us here seemed more urgent than just that.

“Twilight! I’m glad you could come on such a short notice.”

My eyes were drawn up the large set of stairs that led further into the castle. To a figure I had a hard time deciding if was real or not. It was a woman with wings and a horn, snow-white skin and a hair with rainbow colors. Not the same way Rainbow Dash had, but it was as if her hair was an actual rainbow extending from her head. That was… what? She was dressed in a purple top that revealed her back and white pants. Had I been someone with an eye for fashion, I’d probably see something special about it all. Her eyes were violet, with long eyelashes, with a smile that seemed to tell me that everything was fine.

“Princess!” Twilight cast herself into a hug with the stranger. And when she came down the stairs, I noticed that she was a head taller than me. That seemed… unusual. I wasn’t the tallest guy around, but still taller than the average female. Oh, and now Molly was walking around her, with a curious look on her face, but she didn’t touch.

“I assume this is the one you wrote to me about?” the Princess looked at me. Her expression seemed friendly, but inquisitive as she cae the few steps over in my direction and started to inspect things like my nose and arms and almost everything else that wouldn’t have required the removal of clothes. I couldn’t help but to start blushing, especially when I saw that everyone ese in the group were giggling and trying to hide it. “Interesting… interesting…”

“Um… Princess? What is interesting?” I asked with a healthy dose of hesitation.

“Please, call me Celestia.”

“Sure, Celestia…” Really? That was her name. Wait, why was I surprised? I had spent the last few days with people with names like Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie and Scootaloo. “So… Celestia, what is interesting?”

“That you are so similar to us, of course, and yet I can clearly see you’re not the same.”

“Princess?” Twilight broke into the conversation, thank whatever high power there may or may not be for that. “Weren’t we called here because of something more important than this?”

“Yes, of course, forgive me. I guess my curiosity got the better of me,” Celestia turned to the rest of the group, leaving Molly, and presumably myself, with a confused expression as to what just happened. “Luna said she had seen something when she was out flying the other night, in the forests near Ponyville. She can tell you more about it herself.”

She put her arm in mine and started to lead me up the stairs, waving for the others to follow us. If my blush had gotten the chance to go away, it surely returned now. Or became more intense, all depending on how red my face already was. I could practically feel the eyes of the others at the back of my head.

“So, where are you from?” Celestia asked me in a low tone. It wasn’t quite whispering, but clearly meant to not include the others. I tried to reply in kind.

“Um… planet Earth, I guess? The proper name is Terra, I think, but we just call it the Earth. Don’t have as much magic, wings and horns in the sense you have.”

“Interesting… interesting…”

I had no idea what was so interesting about it. Had I understood Twilight correctly, she had probably told her these things already in whatever letters she had sent about me. I certainly hadn’t put much effort into hiding it from her. When we came to the top of the stairs, we took to the left. I heard that someone behind me had started to talk amongst themselves. Hopefully not about me.

“She’s quite beautiful, don’t you think?” Molly walked besides us, looking at Celestia. “A little tall, perhaps, but it suits her.”

Sure, I could agree with that. Not that I was going to answer her questions with the rest of the gang here. Didn’t seem like anyone but me could see or hear her, so while I might have gone mad since I came here, why chose this particular time to show everyone?

“Here you go, Twilight, my sister is just in that door,” we had gotten to what looked like it could b a conference room of sorts. Strangely enough, Celestia didn’t let go of my arm. “She will fill you in on the details of what she has seen. In the meantime, I was hoping to burrow your friend so I could have a closer look at him. There are a couple of tests I want to run.”

“I’m sure that will do, Princess. We can just tell him what he needs to know when we know what is going on ourselves,” I looked pleadingly on the group, but Rarity had taken the word before anyone else. Bitch. Tests? Really? Fuck, this couldn’t be good. She’d probably let me leave unharmed, but still. Not comfortable set of shoes I was in right now. And why did thoughts of Chris Griffin’s date with the overly demanding Down syndrome girl come to mind, with Stewie dancing and everything? What the fuck brain!?

“This should be entertaining,” Molly said and giggled. I looked down at the floor as the rest of the group walked into the room. I had almost forgotten that I was guaranteed an audience to whatever was going to happen next. An audience that couldn’t call for help if I needed it.

And then we were in some chambers, after a flash of golden light. More teleportation? Beats walking, I had to admit. Well, except for the confusion regarding where the fuck I was.

“Umm,” I was about to ask her what was going on, but she shut me up pretty easily when she took a hold of my nose and started to examine it and the rest of my face. Her hands started to feel for how my bone structure was, with cheekbones, jaw and forehead. Especially the part of my forehead that would, I assumed, be where a horn would be if I had one like hers.

I could see a notebook and pen hoover besides us, scribbling like crazy. Molly seemed to be at the brink of breaking out in laughter as she read what was noted down and looked at what was going on. Me, I was starting to feel my heartbeat increase, for some odd reason.

Next she moved to my arms, inspecting every joint and muscle group she could find, and comparing how my hands were to hers. Had I been the one inspecting her, it could have been something like the classic hand-scene between Tarzan and Jane. It still could, in a strange sense, but the roles seemed… unusual. Not to mention I wasn’t wearing a dress. Why would she wear a dress like that in the jungle anyway? I never quite got that part. And Celestia, sadly, wasn’t wearing only a loincloth. If she did, I’m pretty sure it would make the experience much more interesting. Not that her current clothes were ugly or anything.

Once she apparently was happy enough with what she had seen on my arms, she started to examine my chest, stomach and back. I was starting to wonder if I should say something, but what? She was the princess. Monarchies were tricky like that. But the continued scholarly examination of my body was getting a little annoying. Well, rather annoying.

“Umm, what are you doing? Or, at least, why?” I blurted out.

“Trying to see if I can’t find any obvious differences between you and my subjects.”

Okay, that was encouraging. No, that was a lie. Molly had taken a seat and watched it all, apparently very amused.

“I’ll save you some time then,” I shot back, perhaps a little less friendly than I should have. “My people, just to make it easy to talk about, don’t get wings or magical horns. And we don’t have the variety of skin and hair color you get. We range from pale to dark, pretty much on all fronts. And- hey, what the… !?”

Apparently she wasn’t listening and lifted me into the air with her magic, seemingly with even less effort than Rarity had used. Apparently my feet and legs were next. Or not? When my pants started to get unbuttoned I was starting to wonder.

“No Mark,” she mumbled and put a hand on my recently exposed thigh. No what? Mark? Oh, right, the tattoos I had seen on the girls.

“I don’t think we get them.”

“Interesting.”

“Yes, I heard you say that a few times. Can I get back down now?”

“Of course you can,” Celestia smiled and put me back down. Hastily I started to button my pants once again. She made the noteblock hoover over to her and started to read it page by page. How much had she learned from what she did? “Very interesting…”

“Do you have any idea what she is up to?” Molly wrapped her arms around me from behind in a hug of sorts, whispering into my ear. As quietly as I could, I breathed that I didn’t. “Me neither. She is weird. Sexy, but weird.”

“I apologize for that, but it would have taken far longer to do it a way that may have been more comfortable to you,” Celestia put the noteblock down on a small table and smiled at me. “I’m unfamiliar with your kind, so I would have enjoyed having you studied, if I could.”

“Umm…”

Was she for real? Having me studied? Just what did that mean? Hopefully I could say no. Well, if there were perks, I might be persuaded to accept.

“It is fine; you don’t have to tell me. I assumed that you wouldn’t be interested.”

“Umm, well, I never mad-“

“As I said, I assumed you wouldn’t be interested.”

“Okay, I got that part, your highness,” I spoke quickly, trying to finish before she interrupted me again. “Are you going to actually let me answer the question?”

“I hadn’t planned on it.”

With a little chuckle she gestured for me to continue. Was she going to interrupt me again? Her eyes had started to squint ever so slightly and her head was pushed almost unnoticeably forward from its usual position, as if she was just waiting for me to say something.

“I haven’t made…” I paused for a moment, testing the waters. When I did, Celestia took a less tense position. Her eyes didn’t squint anymore and her head retracted back to where it had been. “I never made up my mind about it. I would need to- umm- know more before I could make a decision.”

“I know.”

“Wait, you knew, and still you tried to push me out of it, after just saying that you’d like to study me?”

What the hell? Was she pulling my leg? She had to be trying to mess with me, it was the only thing that made sense.

“Well,” she said with a devious little smile. “I would love to study you to learn more of your kind, but something tells me that, for now, it is best if you travel with your new friends. Just a hunch of mine. Come, let us join with the others.”

With a movement faster than I had anticipated from her, she jumped, or maybe flew was the better word, over to me and took a hold of my arm. A flash of golden light later and we were standing outside the room where Twilight and her friends had entered to talk to this Luna.