Chapter 6: One crazy day
“You're doomed.”

All of the blood and dirt my coat had accumulated over the last two weeks without a shower was gone and I felt squeaky clean. That tattered business suit was tossed over the side as it was much much too far gone to even consider repairing. The shower was awkward at first because Comet had insisted that we took one together to conserve the ship's water for the boilers.

I saw no fault with his logic and so we took one together. Then one thing led to another and the the subject of wing massages came up after I got a wing cramp in the middle of said shower, so embarrassing! So now I was laying on a bed receiving a wing massage.

Comet was doing something around the wing root with his forehooves that made all the tension simply melt away. I smiled at the amazing feeling. I had never had a wing massage before and should make it a point to get one and a hooficure more often. Though I still haven't gotten said hooficure.

"So, Miss Shock," he began as he worked in between the wings on my back. "Tell me a little about yourself. My daughter says that you were alive before the bombs."

"Well there is not much to tell,” I said with a sigh. “Anything before two years before the bombs went off is muddled and fuzzy. It is as if a pony has purposely removed everything from those times. I have vague feelings though."

"Hm... sounds to me like the MoM decided to screw with your brain. Any idea why they would?"

“No.” He started to work towards my hindquarters and I looked back in confusion as I asked with my mind. "What are you doing?!"

"It's just a full body massage. Now just relax."

"Are you using me?"

"Are you not using using me for your own gains?"

I explained it to him. "Yes, for you see, I wish for that armor and the Enclaves help. But you avoided my question. Are you using me?"

"You have already answered your question by answering mine. But if you insist I will tell you. Yes, I am using you to get intel. No, I am not using you for pleasure."

"That is acceptable." I nodded. I laid my head back down as I said, "this wall needs a painting or perhaps a nice set of drapes. It's so boring!" He took one of my hind legs and began to apply pressure as I continued with my story. "As for myself? I spent perhaps thirty years wandering the aftermath before being picked for Unity. Then we became an alicorn and a much better pony. If you think we regret our decisions, the answer is a big fat no.”

“So you used to be a normal pony?”

I nodded. “Yes. The process of becoming an alicorn involves vats of rainbow colored liquid and you being dipped in it.”

"Sounds painful. What is your special talent?" He asked while working back up the leg.

"I... I don't remember and this has caused me great worry over the past month or so."

Then with my mouth I told him everything I knew about the Steel Rangers of Oakwood in great detail. That their base is the old naval base across the bay from the Crescent Moon, Eclipse is an insane pony hell bent on killing alicorns, they are heavily armed, they send convoys to and fro into the jungle to scavenge for stables or technology, and that they use mechanical powered Vertibucks for quick reaction time.

Comet nodded. “I think all of that should be sufficient. I’ll still need to do first hoof observation.”

His hooves touched an area that made me smile as I said, "stoop... That tickles!"

"This?" He poked in front of my hind leg on the side of my belly which caused it to flinch and I giggled again.

"Yes, that!" He did it again but harder this time. I recoiled from the attack of the tickles as my wings flapped once. I closed them and fell with a thud to the carpeted deck. When I looked over the bed at the slate grey pegasus I said. "I'm hungry. Do you want some food? I'll go get some food."

"No, I'm tired. We should head to bed."

I nodded. "I'll be back later then. I’m hungry."

*** ***

I walked along the narrow passageway inside the central superstructure. Not really caring nor noticing any of the details other than white walls, metal doors, and grey carpet. I wasn't actually hungry. I had to get away from Comet for a while to clear my head of any sexual feelings from the massage. Because I had many and did not want a second Bucky on my hooves. I turned right and followed the grey carpet as it ascended metal stairs.

This hallway was like the one below except less plush. The doors were dark brown wood. I pressed forward and took a glance out of a porthole at the mist filled night sky.

'If you're gonna wander aimlessly can you at least find us food?' the crimson mare whispered in the back of my mind.

My ears folded back as I bit my lower lip. I decided to ignore the mare's voice as best I could. Then made a left at the end and picked up my pace a little.

I made a right and ascended more stairs. Then followed that short hallway to the end. I stopped as I looked around in confusion as we seemed to be lost. Though I didn't know where I was going anyway so it is of little consequence.

My ears picked up a voice that was much too muddled to make out the specifics of. Without anything else to do we followed it. Our route made a turn and the hallway ended in a half open door. After making sure our mane didn't get in the way we peered around the door.

There was a light grey zebra with ebony stripes and copper orange eyes sitting in a very plush looking chair. She was surrounded by radio equipment with lots of switches, dials and lights. I couldn't see her glyph because the dark red robe she wore obscured it. A set of headphones covered her ears. Her long two-tone mane was done in many small dreadlocks with multi-color beads on the tips that resembled the colors of the setting sun.

She did not notice me.

The zebra was deep in a bottle of rum and enthralled by some black device hanging from a boom in front of her. She was mid-sentence. "...and that folks is how Equestria was made! Alright, Oakwood. I’m tired, the sun’s coming up and I've got a fever. Do you wish to know the cure? More cowbell!"

We found it odd that DJ Snow sounds completely different in the flesh. Her voice has a much different accent.

She spun in her chair and kicked at a switch on the machine behind her. The thing rocked back a little before a record dropped onto a turntable and began to spin. As the needle touched down a guitar played out that was followed by said cowbell.

The zebra put on a single saddlebag and picked up her bottle of rum with her tail. She tossed the bottle in the air and turned so it would drop perfectly into her open bag. As she turned her attention to the door she noticed us and her copper eyes widened.

"Alicorn!" She shouted in shock while diving behind her equipment.

Her outburst caused me to look at her in confusion. The zebra poked her head back up with a silver box clenched in her teeth.

My eyes widened as the box sent a beam of red into my face. I screamed in pain as the beam grazed my muzzle and brought up my green shield. The zebra's bar never changed from blue to orange as a second and third beam struck the shield doing no actual damage. She looked cross eyed at her laser pistol then looked at me with a nervous smile.

I walked forward as I ripped the beam gun from her mouth with magic. She began backing up and bumped into her chair. "Please don't kill me," she begged and made herself smaller, "I am no threat to one of you. It was a mistake I know that now!"

My gaze went to the beam pistol and I dropped it to the floor then my hoof came down and stomped it flat. I looked at her as my shield was lowered.

"That hurt," I whined with my mind and she made no attempt to acknowledge it. So I whined with my mouth, "all I wanted to do was say hello to DJ Snow! Why did you shoot me, DJ Snow?"

She let out a breath and looked at the beam pistol. "Perhaps we should talk this over some food and get some ice on that burn, yes?"

"Okay, lead the way." I nodded.

*** ***

I telekinetically held a bag of ice onto the slowly healing burn across my muzzle. My Pipbuck was telling me that my rads were slowly dropping too. Across from me sat Zakiya who was immune to my telepathy. We sat at a table with the crushed beam pistol in the center, a plate of meat next to it and my 10mm pistol on the other side. The table was inside the ship’s galley which ran 24/7 and stocked various foods.

“My face hurts and you shot me.” I groaned again for perhaps the fifteenth time. “Why did you shoot me?!”

“It is cause for alarm when one such as you sneaks up on a pony.” She said while looking down at her mostly drank bottle of spiced rum clutched in her forehooves.

My eyes narrowed at this retort. So I loudly said. “You left the door open!”

“Did I do so for you? No. I did not expect an alicorn to come sneaking through. I think I will need to have a long talk with the captain about informing me of new guests. Especially if they are alicorn guests.”

I adjusted the ice pack and replied. “I heard DJ Snow was a pegasus but you're a zebra.”

Zakiya laughed then took a draw from the bottle. She set it down and said. “Do you really think surface ponies would listen to one such as I? No. From what I’ve experienced they still do not like zebras all that much.”

“How do you mask your voice then?” I asked with a tilt of my head. The meat was floated up to my eye level as I inspected it carefully. I gave it a sniff and wondered what exactly it was.

“That is bacon and I can guarantee you it is not pony bacon,” she said with a point of her hoof. “Anyone goes missing on this ship and they are found within the hour. Our aerial community is tight knit like that.”

I nodded and put the bacon into my mouth. My eyes went wide as the greasy flavor of syrup and whatever else it was filled my mouth. I smiled and chewed on the almost crunchy bacon.

“It is good!” I told her with my mind. Then facehoofed when she stared at me blankly. So I used my mouth after gulping it down with a little Ray. “That is delicious. How many live on this ship?”

“Why do you wish to know?”

“Because I’m curious. I've only seen two so far and yet this ship is large.”

"Very well then." Zakiya nodded. "There are about sixty earth ponies, fifty unicorns, a hundred and ten zebra, thirty pegasi, and one ghoul living aboard the Celestia’s Delight. The pegasi naturally go to the ground to gather food, clothes, and weapons for the rest of us. There is a small apple orchard in one of the forward cargo holds that the unicorns use to grow very bland tasting apples in.” The zebra took a drink from her bottle as I looked at her.

“How does it fly?”

“Magic!” She grinned and I shot a glare at her. Zakiya frowned then added. “It really does fly with a combination of magic and steam. Don’t ask me the specifics, because I don’t know them as I am a humble zebra. I leave pony magic to unicorns... and alicorns.”

I shrugged because I didn’t really care how it flew. I was mostly asking her for intel while she was drunk, which she has very good drunk speak if a bit slurred.

“You say you have one ghoul, why?” I asked.

She drank from the bottle and found it empty. Zakiya arched her brow as she shook it in a vain attempt to get the very last drop out of her bottle of rum. Then she tossed it behind her and stood up as it shattered on the deck. I watched the zebra trot over to a vending machine and instead of putting bits into it like any normal pony would, Zakiya gave it a swift buck that caused it to rock back and forth.

A full bottle of wonderful booze rolled into the slot at the bottom.

“Works every time!” Zakiya exclaimed as she swiped the bottle of rum up with her tail, tossed it in the air and caught it in her teeth. I shook my head at her blatant disregard for her liver's well being as she walked back over while drinking. The bottle was set down as she took a seat.

Something had been bugging me and it finally blurted out. "How did you know that I gave ponies supplies in Candlelight?"

"I'd imagine of our pegasi was doing some trading and saw it. Then told Dj Sn-me?"

"Oh. Are you afraid of me?”

“Shall I run around and shout 'Star Demon' like a fool?” Zakiya shook her head and added with a sly grin. “Alicorn, you are sitting inside the steel hull of a pre-war auxiliary cruiser that is flying through the night sky. Such superstitions as the ‘stars are evil’ are for zebras who haven't seen what I've seen to worry about. I could tell you many stories about 'Star Demons' and how they are just as easy to kill as a pony but I will not. That is for another story.”

I floated out the Zebra Rifle and laid it down across the table then took another bite of bacon. She looked at it while I explained. “This was found in the jungle in very poor condition. You're a zebra and I figured you might know of where to get it fixed."

“You will give it to me as compensation for breaking my perfect beam pistol.” She drunkenly replied. “There is no bargaining on this!”

That offer sounded fair to me so I floated out the extended magazine and shoved both items across the table. Zakiya began to tear it apart while mumbling under her breath about various things. Before I knew it she had a completely stripped Zebra Rifle laying between us.

“Is it sufficient?” I asked.

She did not take her eyes off the weapon as she explained. “Don't be a fool, of course it was. With some spare parts we have I can fix this. But this magazine is no good!” The zebra held up the extended one and tossed it behind her without a care. She did the same to the regular one as she shouted. “And neither is this one! Neither of these will do. Not enough capacity! I think I have a drum magazine somewhere. Yes yes," she nodded rapidly to herself, "load it with hollow points and those Mist Roamers won’t stand a chance!"

My brows furrowed together as I looked at her, because I found her weapon knowledge interesting. However I ignored her musing and asked. “The captain has said that the ‘fog has claws’ and I wish to know what he means. As it sounds insane."

She let out a chuckle that turned into a cry of shock as a spring jumped off the weapon. The both of us watched as it quickly disappeared into a drain on the floor. The zebra pointed a hoof towards where it had gone.

“I don’t think I needed that one anyway. It must wish for a new owner. Well I hope it finds one!” Zakiya looked back at me and shrugged. “Fog with claws? Because it does have claws.”

“But what does that mean?!”

She clicked her forehooves together as she leaned across the table and whispered. “It would be bad luck and bring the claws to this ship if I were to tell you what they were. I will not endanger my family here for your satisfaction.”

“You said you weren’t superstitious!”

Again her laughter filled the air as she leaned back. “Superstitious? Not of star superstitions. However this is not a superstition, because they are real. Let us speak no more of them.”

My eyes widened when I remembered Ripper referred to mysterious ponies as ‘them and they’. We wondered if they were connected but dismissed it as coincidence.

The zebra put her bag to the end of the table and began to scoop the weapon parts, including the 10mm pistol, into the bag along with the food and both bottles of booze. I quickly grabbed the pistol in magic and lifted it away.

I remembered something and asked. “How come only one ghoul?”

“She is known as Navigator. Always at the wheel as she does not sleep," she replied without hesitation. “She is the only one able to navigate the fog safely.”

“That seems far fetched.”

Zakiya slung her now heavy bag across her side as she said. “If you will excuse me, I have to sleep. Or would you like to come with and keep me awake for a few more hours?”

"No, I like stallions."

She shrugged. "I meant for more conversation. I haven’t had good conversation in many years."

"Perhaps later. I wish to speak to this ghoul.

"Very well. She is on the bridge. It is that way," Zakiya flicked her tail to a door and began trotting off while mumbling, “shiver my timbers shiver my soul... “

*** ***

As I walked towards the bridge door I used my telekinetics to take a sip of the Celestia's Ray. I had decided that I must see the ghoul because Comet surely would want to. We smiled and nodded at our smart plan to do all of the intel while he was sleeping. That way when he wakes up we can leave earlier.

The hatch in front of me swung open quietly on recently oiled hinges and I stepped inside.

"Welcome odd traveler." An old sandpapery mare's voice said from my right. "What can this old girl do for you this fine morning?" I looked over at a rotting bay colored unicorn with pretty much no mane or tail. Her cutie mark looked to be the same ship wheel that she stood next to. The real one was pony sized and engulfed in white magic. Her brown eyes looked out at the wall of fog as she moved the wheel a little.

"In or out."

I blinked and tilted my head. "I'm sorry. What?"

"Come in or leave but shut the door either way." She said without taking her eyes off the fog.

I shut the hatch with magic and trotted over to the ghoul. I have no idea what makes her special because she looks like any other ghoul I've encountered. I stepped in front of her and she made no attempt to tell me to move. As I looked around the bridge I saw that it was devoid of ponies.

"How come you're alone?"

"I'm not alone. There's a green alicorn blocking my vision. Move please." I nodded and stepped to the side. "Farther, your mane is in my way, miss."

With a roll of my eyes I wrapped my mane around a wing and pulled it against my body. "Happy?"

"No. I'd be happy if we were on the ocean again. Riding waves is far more entertaining than flying through the sky, granted you move quicker in the air, but it just doesn't have the same feel. I want to smell the sea again and feel her unpredictability. These clouds are static and smell like death."

"Is this ship a threat to the Enclave?"

The unicorn ghoul looked over at me. "Well aren’t you pointed. Is this ship a threat to the Enclave? No. Pay us enough and we’ll fight for ya. Always have, always will. Been the way of the Delight since before the war."

"How can you fight? This is a transport ship."

She smirked as she looked back out at the fog. "If you say she is, then she must be, but then that would be the death of you. We have guns aboard and a contingent of Marines capable of holding their own in an aerial engagement."

I nodded. "Thank you for being honest. Can you tell me what 'the fog has claws' means?"

"Go stand on deck and see for yourself. I’m not a dictionary."

With a frown I asked. "How do you know where to go? I can’t see past the bow!"

"Where I go I do not know!” she cackled. “Though I do know about the five Enclave Raptors following us in a line. We passed by them about fifteen minutes ago. The poor dears appear to be lost and decided to follow us. No doubt in some vain attempt to get the technology we use to fly or something like that."

I walked to the aft wall of the wheelhouse and looked out at the fog where I saw the vague outline of an Enclave Raptor.

"That would be the Steel Rangers who take old world technology. I'm not sure what the Enclave do other than close up the sky."

“Steel Rangers, Enclave, what's the difference? Someone’s always killing someone. Even in your dreams.”

"I should go talk to the captain." I said.

“Well Zakiya is looking for you. See her first.” She commented as the the ship was slowed down again but with only one bell that was answered by one. “First Officer’s cabin.” A door opened behind me and she added. “Down that hall and to the left.”

*** ***

I walked through the ship’s superstructure as I looked for the correct cabin. Though I had no idea how Navigator knew Zakiya was looking for me. She seemed off her rocker and so did every other pony I have met so far on this ship. Always talking about ‘them’ and we wondered if Ripper was related to these ponies in some way. Which doesn't sound far off to us.

I stopped and looked at the Pipbuck’s automap feature. Then groaned as I realized that I had passed the door probably four times already. I turned around and trotted down the hallway and stopped at the door.

My hoof knocked against it loudly twice and I opened it partially as I told Zakiya with my mouth. “It is Shell Shock, the green alicorn, may I come in?"

“You may.”

I went inside and shut the door. This room was larger than the stateroom Comet and I had. There was a single queen sized bed with zebra striped sheets, a mini-fridge next to the bed, a reloading bench, an actual workbench which Zakiya sat at, and the Zebra Rifle was still in parts on the workbench. Instead of wallpaper or paint it the walls were lined with racks of everything from hoofmade pistols to full on battle saddles.

There was also two sets of zebra combat armor: One that was in almost pristine condition inside a case and the other that looked like it had seen better days.

Zakiya was looking back at us over a set of magnifying goggles. “Yes? What is it you wish to talk about?”

“Navigator said you were looking for me?”

"Yes I was. You see this weapon you gave me was on its last legs. By sheer dumb luck you have lived to tell another tale.”

“Huh? Can you explain that better, please? I am not a very smart pony.”

She turned all the way around and adjusted her robe as she stood up. “Then I will elaborate as if you were a foal with no knowledge of weapons. A Zebra Rifle only fires in three round bursts. Not one, not two, or four. Only ever three. Always three. You had two bullets left and so it could not fire. Had you had just one more bullet and attempted to fire it, that weapon would have exploded in your hooves. Thus killing you in the process.”

“I suppose I should be thankful to the Goddess then.” I nodded. The deck tilted severely as the ship turned or something.

The zebra looked over as a stack of Guns and Bullets magazines fell off the workbench. Zakiya pointed her hoof at them and shouted. “I didn’t like you anyway!" She looked at me as the ship leveled out and said. "When she decides to have fun we’re all in for a ride.”

I tilted my head and asked in zebra tongue. “Are you talking about the ship or are you talking about Navigator?”

“Navigator. And don't talk about my mother like that." She gave a small smile. "Your zebra is badly broken like this bottle here." Zakiya used her hoof to knock an empty bottle of rum off the workbench. It shattered as it hit the floor and she trotted over to the mini-fridge next to the bed.

She retrieved a bottle from the mini-fridge and stopped halfway to give us a wink before she tossed it. I caught the rum bottle in magic and she retrieved a second one. Zakiya went back to the workbench and set the bottle down. "So you like stallions?"

I realized why she winked and it became awkward. I wanted to run but I also wanted to stay and chat. Her copper orange eyes practically beckoned me to stay and so I sat down. "Correct. We do not pursue relations with mares."

"Very well. I won't bring it up. Do you wish to know a secret?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really. But anyway! My secret is this: I don't like it here. Only one mare talks to me, the rest act like I don't exist and I hated doing the radio. Sitting there all night talking and talking was so boring! It's not even my special talent."

"What is your talent?" I asked then took a sip from my bottle of rum.

Zakiya hopped and spun on a hind hoof with her fore legs spread wide.

"Weaponry and armor!" she exclaimed as she dropped back down. "Around here I am called Zakiya the Armorer. Shell Shock, will you do me a favor?"

"That depends on the favor."

She nodded rapidly. "Yes yes, I know you don't like mares. It's nothing like that. Not entirely." Zakiya grabbed our mane in her teeth and began trotting towards the case with the zebra armor. Pain shot through my scalp as as she pulled the mane and attempted to run away at the same time.

"Ow! Ow! Hey stop!" I shouted as I struggled to keep up. My magic lifted her off the ground and yet she kept attempting to almost gallop over.

Then she looked down with a puzzled expression and let go of my mane. "I seem to be flying... Hey I'm a flying zebra! When did I grow wings? Why did no pony tell me I have wings?!"

I dropped her to the deck and she practically bolted for the zebra armor in the glass case. Zakiya pressed her face against the glass as she said. "Just look at it. Painstakingly crafted by zebras of old. Lost, then found, then lost again. I spent years repairing the suit and you know what?"

"I don't." I shook my head.

Zakiya looked at me and almost shouted. "The sleeves too damn long! All that work was fucking wasted on armor that could not fit me!" I turned my attention to the armor in question and noticed that they were indeed too long. As if it was made for a female zebra that was almost as tall as me.

“How did you manage to not notice that?”

“I was a filly and didn’t know any better. However completing the armor gained me my glyph and so I have kept it these many years. I’ve never seen what it looks like on a pony but now...” She grinned at me as I took a step back. “Now I finally have a sexy mare to model it for me! But first! We must make many modifications to that horrible atrocity you call a mane. It will not do for a Legionnaire.”

Stay and get my mane cut and maybe a set of armor, or run away?

I sighed with a nod. "Very well."

*** ***

I looked at myself in the mirror and turned sideways as I flicked my now short dyed black tail to the side. It touched the floor, which was short compared to what it used to be, and my mane was now shoulder length. Zakiya had done the both of them in a great many small dreadlocks with fire red beads on the ends. It seemed to stop the flow of my mane and I was glad for it. It didn’t look too bad against my green hide in my opinion. The only problem I saw was the Pipbuck. It was an item that still needed to come off. The hoofgun managed to slip over the armor so it was no problem.

The armored dress was red and black with golden trim. The dress part of it was more like layered plates which were loosely connected to allow for some movement in the armor while keeping the protection adequate. If we didn’t look too hard at our frontal profile we could pass for a very tall unicorn with a large exquisite horn.

I was annoyed that the Zebra Legionnaire armor was tight around my chest and restricted my wings like what I was trying to avoid with Steel Ranger power armor. However I had actually found a set of armor that could fit! I did not think that Zakiya would just let me take the armor off her hooves for free. I will admit that I was skeptical at first as it was zebra armor. but with it on I don’t think I had much to complain about. Barding was barding.

Her reflection in the mirror showed her on the bed cleaning and loading the drum magazine with hollow point rounds.

“May I have this armor?” I asked. “I like it very much.”

“Well it was just sitting there and is much too large for me,” she replied without looking up from her task. “However you must do something for me in return.”

“Anything.” I smiled at myself in the mirror. She looked up with a grin that caused me to blush because a dirty thought flashed across my mind at the realization of what I implied.

“Take me with you when you leave. There are others better suited who can do the night shift.”

I let out a breath and nodded. “Deal.”

She went back to work on the drum magazine and I danced around in front of the mirror.

I hopped as I shifted my weight to my left hooves, then my right, and back again. Then I held the chainsword next to me with magic, stepped back, and jumped while spinning around. My new mane’s dreadlocks twirled around and I noticed they didn’t obscure my vision as bad as the overly long flowing one did. In fact I could still see clearly even though a few of the individual dreads landed on my muzzle.

Zakiya got off the bed and began pulling various weapons off the wall. "I must prepare for my trip. Rest here if you wish. I won’t try anything funny. Also come here I need to make a modification to the armor."

She grabbed a long sharp sword in a fetlock and I figured out right away what she meant.

"Do you really want to cut into your life's work?"

"It is armor and designed to get damaged, this I have accepted so cutting into it isn't much different. Is it not uncomfortable to have your wings restricted?"

“Not really. I was a unicorn before becoming an alicorn, so I know how to deal without flight.”

With a shrug she tossed the blade into her bags. I caught it before it could land inside and floated it over to me. I set the officer's sword down and wondered if it would be odd to dual wield blades. One that is a chainsword that can cut through nearly anything on the left and a normal sword on the right.

I wrapped the drum in magic and tossed to her. She caught it and put it away. Then I climbed onto the bed and pulled the striped cover over me. It didn't take long to fall into a deep sleep and I found myself walking along a concrete tunnel.

***===***===***

I walked through the dark underground tram station with a pair of saddlebags on my back that held recently traded stale pre-war food. My cyber leg thumped against the concrete floor floor and caused the sound to be off beat, three soft and one loud. The crackle of flames reached my ears and I saw my destination in the soft orange glow coming from a fire barrel in another room three doors down.

I walked past the two other rooms that I cared not for to glance inside. My crystalline tan coat was covered by my frayed tank crew barding and I wore the cloth cap to keep my head warm. Though they were hardly adequate for the long winter just after the war ended.

I turned into the room and gave my coltfriend a warm smile. He sat with his back to me while he warmed his forehooves by the fire in the center of the room. His black coat was also covered in tank crew barding and I could see his cutie mark of a synthesizer. There were tiny makeshift houses along the walls and everywhere you could imagine.

I stalked as quietly as I could towards him. Making it a point to gently set the cyber hoof down so as to not make noise. I stopped right behind him. My open mouth slowly inched closer to his ear in preparation to nibble it.

As I did so I noticed something wrong and my eyes widened. A crimson mare with blue eyes turned her head around and smiled at me.

"Have a look in this mirror." the crimson mare said in her smooth voice as her horn glowed and a small vanity mirror was floated next to her head. The mirror reflected nothing but rolling plains and blue sky.

"You're not Synth!" I shouted as I began backing up. "Who are you? What is going on?!”

The crimson unicorn with no cutie mark walked towards me with the mirror floating near her head. "Come on. Look into the mirror. There’s something I want you to see. It’s your future self."

It showed the reflection of a pony I didn’t recognize at all and I felt myself being drawn into the mirror against my will. It was like my soul was being ripped from my body while it screamed in pain.

I did the only thing I could think of. I shut my eyes and bolted from the room.

*** ***

My offbeat hooves echoed in the dark rubble filled subway tunnel as I galloped away from the crimson mare with no cutie mark. I couldn’t see very well in the dark and neither could she, or so I hoped. The only light came from the still working maintenance lights on the ceiling and the track signal lights that glowed red.

Ahead of me was a concrete rubble pile. I dared not look back as she shouted. “Just take a peak. See what Equestria’s future has in store for you.”

I clamoured over the concrete and jumped across a large black void. My hooves barely caught the other edge as my hind legs flailed about uselessly beneath me. The weight of the bags threatened to drag me into the abyss. A hoof was extended down to me and I grabbed it with my cyber hoof.

Then I looked up.

My eyes widened and my soul began screaming again as it was pulled towards the mirror. I pushed away from the mare and tumble into the black abyss below as my saddlebags spilled their contents.

"Where do you think you can hide, hm?" she asked from everywhere as I fell. “Where you go I can go. You cannot hope to outrun me in here. Just give up now and look into a mirror. Any mirror will do fine."

I tumbled through darkness for some time that felt like minutes.

There was a light at the bottom and I grinned at the way out. However as I got closer I saw that it wasn't a way out but another mirror with rolling hills! My eyes widened at the realization that I couldn’t do shit to avoid this one.

I saw my tumbling tan reflection in the fast approaching mirror and the unknown pony reflecting back grinned at my misfortune.

"No!" I screamed and slammed into the surface as every fiber of my being screamed in pain.

Blue skies greeted my vision as I passed through the mirror and was propelled up into the air. My stomach leapt into my mouth as my ascent slowed to a stop and I very nearly vomited. I cast my gaze down to the ground as I felt my body begin to fall.

When the fast approaching ground slammed into me I groaned.

With a second groan I lifted my head up and looked around at green rolling hills in every direction as far as the eye could see. The smell of fresh cut grass blew on a light breeze and it was serenely quiet.

I looked into the sky at the sound of the crimson mare's chuckle. "That was much easier than I expected. Welcome to your new home."

I shouted as I frantically looked around, "what is going on?!"

“This is your prison. I took control of your body."

"You can’t keep me here!" I snarled. Then looked around again as I tried to form a plan but came up blank. “I will get out!”

"Oh I don't think so. That mirror was one way."

My ears folded back at the information. "Since I’m trapped here you might aswell tell me why."

"I suppose I owe you that. You see, I sought out the most distant green alicorn from Equestria and found you. Your sisters on the island did not expect me to take control of them with your telepathy either. That was an unexpected bonus."

I sat down and dug at the grass with a metal hoof as I shut my eyes. "What was so important about me?"

"To be honest? Nothing. You're just an average old green drone with a faulty template and a nearly blank mind, which was surprising. This jungle island is so far from the mainland that no pony remembers it. Not even I knew it existed until I felt you here. So it is the perfect place to rebuild my army and you've already laid the groundwork for me."

“Are you going to leave me to wander alone and go insane?"

"Don't be foolish. All you had to do was ask for company and it'd be provided. Observe." The voice echoed off as an alicorn formed nearby.

I trotted over to the blue stallion that watched me approach. Behind him a large brown mansion rose from the ground and the door opened. I looked at the alicorn and waved my metal hoof but he looked like he wasn’t at home.

"He's a drone!" I shouted.

"No. He is not. The male will obey your every command and will provide actual conversation," the voice said from nowhere. "Or if you wish for a mare's company instead..." A blue alicorn mare formed next to him. "Enjoy one or the both of them, or kill them, your choice.”

They looked at me like drones do, blankly. I backed away and looked up in the sky. “Why am I not an alicorn?”

“Do you honestly think I’d give you that kind of power in here? No, now enjoy these two while I conquer the wasteland."

I hung my head low and walked up the stairs with the drones following me.

*** ***

I walked along the yellow hallway with the mare drone following me and I began to wonder how bad this other pony messed things up with my body. I don’t know how long its been. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months? They are all a blur to me without a Pipbuck. All I wanted to do was help the ponies of Oakwood, show them that Unity was better... and that we were the future. Instead I got trapped in my own mind.

Bucky was right, Eclipse was right, Sister was right and so was Rose. I was stupid. I was stupid and gullible, and naive, and... and... a foal.

My hind legs gave out and I fell into a sitting position.

Everypony was right.

Be smart... As if that's possible in here! There’s no way out. The voice said that and it is clearly smarter than I am because I’m trapped here and it isn’t.

A blue wing wrapped around me and pulled me against the blue’s body. She shushed me as she rubbed my side with a wing. "Sshh... It's okay. We can make you feel better." She got in front of me and I watched her lower her head.

“No!” I recoiled in shock and backed away before she could even get close. "You're not real... none of this is real!" I told her. Because it was true.

She looked up at me and smiled. "Of course this is real. Now let Us make you feel better."

"No."

She blinked and tilted her head. "Why not?"

"I don’t like mares. Go away," I ordered. "You have to do as I say, now go away."

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, Mistress. We will be in Our bedroom if you ch-"

"I meant disappear. Go on. Leave and don't come back."

"I'm afraid I can't let her do that," she replied in the crimson mare's voice. "You see this mare is act-"

I lowered my head and charged the second her voice changed. My horn speared through her chest and drenched the top of my head in warm blood as I lifted her lifeless corpse and tossed it in the corner. I looked up at the ceiling two floors above in anger as the blue's blood trickled down my face and into my mouth.

Oddly it didn’t taste as bad as I thought it would.

"No more missus nice mare!" I shouted and my voice gradually got louder until it built up in the Canterlot Voice, "I want out. I want my body back. I WILL KILL YOU AND DEVOUR YOUR HEART IF YOU RESIST!"

My gaze went back down as the room was filled with blue light. The blue alicorn stallion smiled at me. "Oh how admirable. But could you really kill another of your sisters? Say hello to the one you call ‘Blue’. You just killed ‘Sister’. Such idiotic names if you ask me."

My jaw dropped in shock. Then my eyes narrowed because I remembered this wasn’t real. That meant the mare I just ‘killed’ wasn’t real. I charged him with my horn lowered.

In a flash of blue he vanished and reappeared behind me as I slid to a stop. The stallion shook his head slowly while he chided, "such a shame you’re too stupid to remember the same trick doesn't work on Us twice."

"I am not stupid!" I screamed and charged him again.

He took flight and chuckled. "You really are.” I jumped into the air and didn’t even get close thanks to not having wings. “Think of the unborn foal. If you leave her mind now, she dies. I'll come back when you've calmed down. Ta-ta."

Blue vanished in a flash of light and my eyes went to the size of pie plates.

That is a lie! It has to be because that is physically impossible!

*** ***

Perhaps a day later four alicorns watched while I paced back and forth in front of the only mirror in this Goddess forsaken mansion. I dared not look at the severely wrinkled face nor the brown mane heavily streaked with grey. There is no way I can kill these four before they all run off and fucking multiply. Seriously. They multiplied. Now there's two purple mares and two blues. Except only one of the blues was a mare. My horn and head were scrubbed clean by the blue mare. But the blue male might fun to play with...

I shook my head at that nonsense. Then stopped and looked at the alicorns. "I want my body back."

The purple mare stepped forward as she said. "Are you not happy here? Think about this: Were you happy with your body?"

I nodded. "Yes. I like being an alicorn."

"And you’re technically still an alicorn, just not in appearance. You have everything you could ever want on top of a safe place to live. Here there are no homicidal mares trying to kill you. I'm keeping the both of us safe in the real world. Because I am far better at survival than you. The world outside is no place for you. It never was. Can you guess why?"

I nodded slowly as my ears folded back. "Because stupid ponies die and the smarter ones live."

The blue mare sat down beside me and wrapped a wing around me. I heard her get close as she whispered, "Shock, you’re not stupid. You mustn’t keep putting yourself down.”

“Mudpie?” I asked.

She nodded. “Fight whatever this is. Get out of here bef-"

"I don't think so!" the crimson mare's voice shouted from nowhere.

The blue mare looked at me with wide eyes. "No, stop!" Her body began to tremble. “I’ll behave. Let me stay!”

I stood up and backed away. "I don't understand. What is going on?"

"Just watch what I can do to your friends," the crimson mare said from nowhere.

"No!" Mudpie screamed as she covered her face with her forehooves. Her whole body shook and spasmed then she slumped over.

"Mudpie?" I asked as I poked the alicorn with a hoof. "Mudpie!"

The house chuckled. "She won't be getting up anytime soon."

"Mudpie!" I screamed and shook her. "Wake up... Sister...?" I whimpered as tears welled up in my eyes, "Sister, please... Please, wake up! Please?"

"Shall I repeat this on another or do you want to stay here, and spare them the torment? I can guarantee you it is very painful for them."

I shut my eyes and hugged Sister's body. "You win. I'll stay."

*** ***

The next day, or so, I was standing in the kitchen making some bacon in a twelve inch cast iron skillet because bacon is awesome.

The kitchen was on the other side of the house and the voice had it fully stocked with knives and everything else that was deadly. I knew my way around a kitchen but didn’t know exactly how well. It was a feeling.

I looked at the cooking bacon in the pan as it sizzled and popped. My eyes darted to the steak knives as a plan formed to kill the various alicorns walking about even though it was pointless. Sister had come back as drone, twice.

My ears lifted up as I thought of something. The voice was arrogant and had told me all I had to do was ask and it'd be provided for. Every time I wanted out it was there to remind me that I was better off here or it’d come up with an excuse to make me stay. Could the voice be so arrogant as to leave a doorway in plain sight and was doing that to distract me from seeing it?

I looked back at one of the the purple alicorns standing behind me. "Can you help me with something?"

"Of course, Mistress, what is it you wish?" she replied while walking over. I gave a warm smile to the purple as she stopped right next to me.

"This," I stated flatly and used my jade green magic to send the eight pound skillet and bacon into her face. Scalding hot grease struck her skull at the same time the skillet did.

Metal rang out as it clanged against bone and she fell in agony while clutching at her face, screaming and shrieking from the grease burning flesh. I brought the skillet down on her head and split the the skull open in one blow with a wet crunch. I stepped back as blood began to leak out onto the tile.

I turned my attention onto the other purple mare and sent the skillet flying at the same time I grabbed the knife and prepared my magic for the inevitable counter-attack.

She dodged the skillet by ducking her head, but I quickly grabbed the pan in magic again, and brought it around across her horn from behind just as it began to glow. The cast iron club struck the horn with a resounding clang and sent her to the floor while her magic exploded.

I swung again before she could recover and the horn cracked. A third blow made the crack grow. I brought it down again and snapped the horn off as she screamed in agony. Blood covered the purple’s head from where her horn used to be.

I smiled while walking over. "Now... tell me how to leave or you will die a slow and horrible death."

The alicorn looked up at me as I loomed over her with two steak knives floating at the ready. She began to get up but my cyber hoof came down and pinned her wing to the floor with a faint crack of the bone. The alicorn squirmed as she tried to get to her hooves.

"Please..." she whimpered, "don't kill me... I don’t know where I am. I woke up here..."

I brought the blade close to her face so she'd see it clearly as my eyes narrowed. "Then help me get out of here and I’ll spare you."

"I can't, he'd kill me for it! You saw what he did to the blue." I pushed one of the blades in just under the skin and started sawing the flesh off like one were to cut a fish. "I can't!" she screamed as she shut her eyes.

I ignored her and worked the blade all the way down to the hoof and held up the bloody purple fillet of flesh to show her. I didn't care to look down at the leg as I knew what it would look like.

"Do you want me to continue?” I explained quietly, “I can make this last for weeks. One leg at a time all the way around and then your cutie mark." I bit down on the floating skin, ripped off a piece off and slowly chewed as I grinned.

"The mirror!" she shrieked as the blade was lowered to the tender juicy meat. "The mirror! All you have to do is sh-" The purple alicorn collapsed with a blank stare. I spit the meat out and wiped my tongue off with the bottom of my cyber hoof.

So... nasty! I’m never doing that again.

I got up with the knives and skillet at the ready. At the door stood Blue blocking my path out of this nuthouse. “You shall not pass.” he said matter of factly in the smooth mare’s voice.

My hooves carried me forward towards the not real pony. I may not have had my chainsword but I had a skillet and kitchen knives.

*** ***

Blue’s torso lay on the kitchen’s island as blood leaked out from his neck and the stumps that used to be his legs, which were now in the trash. HIs head was laying in the sink with kitchen knives driven into the eyes.

The house began to shake as the crimson mare said. “Hm... I may have underestimated your stomach. Rest assured I have a plan.”

I turned away from the butchered alicorn and walked out of the kitchen with a fiendish grin. Ahead of me lay a long yellow hallway wide enough to fly in that only got longer the more I walked.

“You don’t want to do this.” The mare said. “I can bring them all back again. All you have to do is stop fighting my control.”

“No, I want my body back. You have no right to take it from me! If I'm to die out there because of my own stupidity, then so be it!"

"Then it's time for more drastic measures. Say hello to Ripper for me."

A pale gold pegasus in a clean purple dress and wide brimmed hat walked out of a room and turned towards me. Underneath her dress was a mint condition Shadowbolt flying suit. On her back was a pristine condition Helga with a spinning 20mm vulcan and the trigger was in her mouth.

Ripper looked at me with glowing ruby red eyes behind a pair of goggles and I noted fangs protruding from her muzzle that dripped fresh blood. The goggles had a wire which ran down her neck and into the saddle. An orange topaz in her rusting necklace glowed brightly like her eyes.

The weapon stopped spinning as she let go of the trigger and shouted in a non-gravelly voice but not the crimson mare’s voice. "Who are you and why are you in my dream? No matter. Care to dance? Let’s go!"

Ripper quickly picked up the trigger and bit down. A ball of red shot out of the outermost barrel.

I brought up my shield just before 20mm rounds slammed into the glowing green bubble. They didn't go through. Instead they exploded against my shield while destroying the surrounding hallway. The force of the rounds hitting my shield sent me flying back and a literal line of red tracers narrowly missed my nose as I tumbled into a wall. The tracers struck the wall and tore through in a shower of plaster.

A glance showed the hallway was now blocked and the only way to go was towards Ripper. Even the damage her saddle had done to the yellow wall was being repaired.

I stood up as more shells hit my flickering shield, each hit reverberated inside my old bones. My eyes shut and I braced myself as I poured even more magic into my horn than I did against that plant monster in a desperate attempt to keep it from dying because I had no idea what would happen if I died in here. If it was to be me or her, then it will be her.

A second brighter layer of magic engulfed my horn and the impacts stopped trying to push me back much to my relief. But I still strained against it every time they hit and sweat trickled down my face that got worse by the second.

I noted that Fake Ripper could only fire in very short bursts that felt like fifty rounds each every second. But those fifty rounds all fired in almost the blink of an eye. When the current burst stopped I picked up the bloody meat cleaver and tossed it.

She sidestepped the slow moving weapon and sent a rocket at me. I jumped into the ceiling as it passed and struck the wall behind me. Before my hooves even touched the ground I was sent flying towards the pegasus. She smirked while aiming the saddle ahead of me and another ball of red shot out.

Her burst slammed into me and stopped all my forward momentum. I dropped to the floor as I groaned but made sure the shield stayed up.

“Ha enuff?” She asked around the bit.

“Never!” I shouted. With her distracted on me I lifted the meat cleaver behind her and sent it into her neck.

Fake Ripper cried out in pain as she spun around to look at the invisible threat. Her vulcan gatling gun tore through the plaster walls as it finished its current burst. I quickly got to my hooves and charged her.

She looked back at the sound of my metal hoof and her eyes widened. Fake Ripper began to turn around again. However I brought the cleaver down on her wing and the pegasus screamed before she could bring the weapon to bear, causing her to let go of the trigger. I picked up my pace, dropped the shield, and lowered my horn.

It met some resistance when it hit her dress and uniform but still passed through into her chest. Blood gushed from the wound and coated my head as I lifted the pegasus up off the ground.

Much to my surprise she was still alive. Fake Ripper squirmed in a vain attempt to shoot me, but the trigger was held against her neck by my head. She clamped her fangs around an ear and the side of my head exploded in pain as she pulled and tore the ear off. I turned my head as quick as I could and flung her against the wall before she could bite me again. The cleaver came around and cut the straps for her saddle.

I lifted it in magic and tossed it away. The weapon thumped on the floor and flopped over even though I had expected it to slide.

Fake Ripper lunged at me with her fangs bared. The cleaver struck her in the side of the head and she dropped to the floor as I backed away. As quick as I could I ripped off her hat and goggles and the cleaver came down in the center of her forehead. I stood over her and panted to make sure she was dead, she did not breathe.

I pulled the cleaver out as I noticed that the blood she bled everywhere was black. It was glaringly obvious against my tan hide and the yellow walls that it now covered.

My eyes widened as Fake Ripper began moving again. She lashed out with a shriek and clamped her mouth around my left foreleg. Her fangs pierced the cloth covering it and I yelled in pain as my vision rapidly grew darker around the edges. I watched in shock as her injuries began to heal before my eyes.

As I hacked at her neck with the meat cleaver I screamed, "why won't you just die?!" On the last word the blade finally severed her head from her neck and the lifeless body fell over and began to coat the floor with more black blood.

I held up my foreleg with Fake Ripper's head still attached to it and attempted to shake the lifeless head off to no avail.

My magic gripped at her lower jaw and pulled. Fake Ripper's vice like grip caused me alarm as I broke her lower jaw with a hollow crack that made me cringe. Her head dropped to the slowly growing puddle of warm liquid.

I turned and walked down the hallway to find a way out.

After a couple of seconds I heard the sound of movement and glanced back. Both the head and body were surrounded by black mist as Ripper's head rolled towards her body on its own with glowing red eyes. Ripper's head reattached itself and twisted with a loud pop followed by her jaw fixing itself as she worked it around.

The monstrosity sat up and looked at me then let out an ear piercing shriek that was so loud it stunned me momentarily. Fake Ripper lashed out with her fangs bared again.

I grabbed her saddle in magic, aimed it and triggered the bit. It spit a ball of fire followed instantly by a deafening draconic roar. The fifty 20mm ap rounds tore through the abomination and shredded her side into tiny chunks. Ripper fell over in two halves with a wet plop. Black mist surrounded her as she began to regenerate. I triggered the saddle a second time and turned her head it into black gooey mush on the floor. However the pieces were slowly picking themselves up.

I backed up with the weapon above me and sent a rocket after her at the same time I triggered the vulcan. Her body was engulfed in a fireball that blew out a nearby door. I didn't let up and sent four more rockets at the spot while firing the vulcan in bursts as often as possible.

When the smoke and dust cleared all that remained of Fake Ripper was a shred of purple cloth, a pile of rubble and a giant scorch mark.

'Is she that hard to kill in the real world too?!' I thought to myself as I continued down the hallway.

*** ***

I stopped in the long yellow hallway and looked around. Despite travelling for perhaps three hours in a straight line I have somehow ended up back where I killed Fake Ripper. Scorched walls marked the spot of her death so it was glaringly obvious.

My gaze went to the walls that had repaired themselves and I wondered exactly how long it took them to repair. With no other ideas I aimed the saddle at the wall and triggered a burst while covering my face with a hoof. Plaster shot back at me as I cut a door out of the wall that began repairing instantly.

I jumped through and into a vast white room that had white floors and a white ceiling. As I looked back the hole closed and left me surrounded by white void. Everywhere I looked caused me to sway from vertigo. I cast my gaze down and walked along with the saddle floating in front of me.

No sounds reached my ears and neither did any smell. Whatever or wherever this place was, it was completely sterile.

I began to wonder how hard it really was to leave.

***===***===***

We, the four of us, sat inside what was left of a ruined office building overlooking the Steel Ranger naval base through the destroyed window. A razor wire fence ran around the perimeter with guard towers every hundred feet that had spotlights casing the outside in regular intervals. Their main base of operations was a large rusted combat ship that had a flat deck. The fools even had lights strung across it to make it easier to see the work they did at night on the Vertibucks that lined the deck.

As we watched the patrols I noted their lethargic, almost complacent, disregard for any danger whatsoever as they readied the ship to get underway tonight. They must not considered this... Shell Shock and ‘Sister’ to be any threat. The three alicorns Shell Shock knew, even her companions she met, all thought she was a foal that was mistakenly transformed into an alicorn.

Oh how wrong they were. She was an old addled pony with a massive void in her memories that made it easy to hide in and manipulate. And an easy place to keep her locked away for eternity if she’d only just calm down and accept the fact that the wasteland is no place for her.

My world began to get smaller and I realized something was wrong.

***===***===***

“What have you done?!” the crimson mare shouted as she materialised in the flesh.

I smirked because she was within easy range of Helga. Without saying a word I sent a burst of 20mm anti-personnel rounds after her. All of them missed but she wasn’t my target. The stream of red tracers exploded the ground beneath her hooves and sent the cutie mark-less unicorn flying. She landed and slid along the white room as it slowly changed.

A world filled with death formed around us. Derelict buildings that were crumbling from time and the recent megaspell detonation formed to our sides and made a nice killing zone. A green snow covered street replaced white ground. The white ceiling was now orange and purple clouds that whistled and howled as they dumped green snow in a torrent: My prison for her and her hell.

The crimson mare stood up and frantically looked around. “What... how did you do that?!”

I walked towards her through the snow while shouting, “you call Us a blank flank, yet you are one?! How dare you!” Our tone took on a foals as we mocked her, “Blank Flank! Blank Flank!”

“Now now... That’s no way to act,” she replied. “Give me control back. Things are in motion that if we do not act immediately weeks of planning will be lost!”

I held the saddle above my head and sent a rocket after her. The crimson mare bolted away as the warhead struck ground and rained green snow down on her as it flipped over a wagon.

“The time for talk is over!” I shouted and sent a barrage of bullets and rockets in her general direction hoping something would hit her. One of the buildings began to crumble from the assault and collapsed in a cloud of dust and snow. “Let me out of here and I won’t kill you!”

There was a sound behind me like a vacuum and I spun around. A large wall sized mirror rose from the ground and reflected a rubble filled room overlooking something with lights at night. I tossed the empty saddle aside and stepped through the mirror. Before I did anything else I turned around and looked at the mirror as the crimson mare galloped after me.

“We can co-exist together!” she shouted. “You don’t understand what’s going on out there! I can help. There’s a volca-”

Before she could finish I spun on my forehooves and bucked the mirror. It shattered into an infinite number of pieces and spread everywhere like water. The room began to shake again.

***===***===***

As the shaking died down I blinked and looked around the derelict room. Voices of confusion reached my ears and I registered three alicorns behind me. A glance down showed no Pipbuck either but my leg was green and I wore zebra armor. I pulled the cloth back and saw there were eight scars on the leg.

“What is going on?”

“Where am I?”

“My chest hurts...” Sister groaned. “Why does it feel like my neck was bitten-”

“You!” RJ shouted. The three of them just now registered me standing there I turned around to look at them. “You hit me in the face with a skillet!”

Blue screamed. “You butchered me!”

My eyes widened as I realized that the voice was right. It was them!

I began to back up as I attempted to explain myself. “Wait... That was...? I didn’t... I’m sorry... Please don’t be mad! I... I... Sorry...?” I bumped into a wall and couldn’t get any farther.

The two of them walked forward. However Sister got between them and spread her wings out to block their path. “Stop!” she shouted. “She didn’t know what was going on.”

“All she did was stab you with her horn!” Blue retorted. “Now move so I can kill her before she does something like that out here!”

Sister looked back at me and sighed. Then she looked forward. “Shock is slow and stupid,” her voice was as if she was talking about a sibling while she continued, “why that is I don’t know because most greens are usually highly intelligent. Now before you beat her into paste think about what she was going through. You’re trapped in your own mind by a pony that is doing Goddess knows what with your body. Then the pony presents three-”

“Four.” I added sheepishly and used Mudpie’s tail as a shield.

“Four alicorns for you to interact with. The pony that took control of you takes control of the other alicorns in the world you’re trapped in and blocks your every move to regain control of your own body. What do you do? You remove the blockage any way you can.”

“She didn’t have to throw scalding hot grease in my face!”

Blue pointed her hoof at Mudpie. “You didn’t see what she did to me! She has to be stopped before she does something like that for real!”

I poked my head over the tail and said. “I’m sorry! I thought you weren’t real! I would never, never, never do that to a real pony!”

“I don’t believe you. At least raiders have the decency to kill their victims before they flay them!”

“Are you two honestly so dense as to not see that there was no way to peacefully regain control of her body?!” Sister shouted.

My ears picked up the sounds of heavy hoofsteps rapidly coming up stairs and I turned my attention to the stairwell. “Steel Rangers!” I hissed.

“Good,” Blue said. “We can turn you over to them and get the bounty.”

My jaw dropped as I looked over at her. She began to walk around Sister but before they could reach me Sister turned around and hugged me tight.

A blinding blue light enveloped us causing me to shut my eyes.

Cold steel replaced the wood floor of the room as the light died down. The smell of rotten eggs blew in on a wind from the east and a metallic groan reached my ears as I opened my eyes. Across the bay to the west I could barely make out the lights of the Steel Ranger Naval Base.

Sister and I sat on top of a fallen funnel on the Crescent Moon. Her quad funnels were in horrible disrepair. One of them had fallen across the deck and had been built around, another had lots of holes in it and two looked to be missing paint completely. The white superstructure that ran down most of the length of the ship was heavily faded with large chips flaking off.

“Shock, I’m sorry but I have to do this. Don’t get angry,” Mudpie said and it caused me to look at her in confusion.

She leaned forward and kissed me on the lips as my eyes widened in shock. But I relented my dislike for mare on mare action for a minute and let her have the kiss. Because she defended me against the other alicorns even after I stabbed her. My ears drooped and I prayed to the Goddess that no pony saw us.

After an eternity Mudpie let go and smiled when I didn’t hit her. Instead my eyes welled up with tears and I hugged her tightly while I buried my face in her neck. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know... I swear I didn’t know!”

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I figure kissing you is payback for you stabbing me. I’m alive so it’s of no concern. The other two however... I think they might hold a grudge based off that blue wanting to turn you over to the Steel Rangers.”

I looked into her blue eyes that still sparkled when she smiled at me. “How do I know this is real? How do I tell?” I looked around again and asked. "Where is Comet and Zakiya? What happened? How long was I stuck there?!"

"I don't know to the who those ponies are and it's been three weeks since I woke up, found you missing, and suddenly my whole bodily control vanished."

My head came whipping around as I looked at Mudpie with dinner plate sized eyes. "Sister, am I pregnant? Tell me, am I?!"

"Who put such a stupid idea into your head?! Shock you of all alicorns should know how highly unlikely it is for a normal stallion to do such a thing to you. That’s why we were looking for a way to make male alicorns. It's impossible."

Yes, this is real.

I smiled and nodded. "Yes it is a foalish idea. But that mysterious pony put it in our mind."

“I notice you’re using your mouth to talk now. That is good.” She smiled then looked up.

My gaze was also drawn up to the sound of flapping wings. The real Ripper with terrible condition everything circled overhead as she looked down at the yellow tablet clutched in a foreleg. She then looked at us and exclaimed, “why hello there, ladies!"

“Ri-Ripper?” I asked as I tilted my head, “what are you doing here?”

“I had the strangest dream and woke up with this device,” Ripper pointed her other hoof at the tablet, “beeping. It annoyed the fuck out of me so I followed the compass and came across the two of ya kissing. Ya need to get a room. Seriously get a room, or cloud, fuck and get it over with. You’ll feel better.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mudpie grinning.

'Not happening!'

“What about your Balefire bomb?” I asked because I wondered if it was safe to leave it alone and to change the subject.

Ripper landed next to us as she put the tablet away. “It’ll still be there when I get back. So have you encountered them yet?”

“Um... no but we have encountered ponies who may have. They live aboard an airship called the Celestia’s Delight.”

“The Delight still flies?!” her ruby red eyes widened. “Woooowwww... I thought she got knocked out of the sky years ago.”

“What do you know of the Delight?”

“Oh, lots,” she replied matter of factly. “The Delight is a zebra navy auxiliary cruiser. If memory serves me right she sunk seven... eight...? Ten...? Twelve, yeah, twelve Equestrian transports in the span of four months. Which is a lot when you factor in she worked alone and had to keep re-disguising herself after each one.”

Sister raised her hoof. “Can somepony explain to me how a seagoing ship flies?”

Both Ripper and I looked at her and said in unison, “magic!”

“Why is it called the Celestia’s Delight if it was a zebra ship?” Sister asked the obvious again.

Ripper tossed her forehooves in the air in despair as she shouted, “I’m surrounded by morons! I just explained it. Disguise. DISGUISE! You know, VISUAL camouflage?!”

“But it doesn’t make any sense!” Mudpie shouted back. “They’re zebra’s! Why would they name it ‘CELESTIA’S’ when they hated Equestria?!”

I ignored Ripper and Sister’s bickering about ship names as I gripped the tablet in magic, ripped it out of Ripper’s dress pocket and looked at it. My magic pushed the functions and I found that it was blank and dark. I beat my hoof against it in an attempt to turn it on to no avail: The device was keyed to Ripper.

So I shouted at the device as I shook it with magic, “where is Rose? Where’s Comet?! Where are the others? I don’t have a Pipbuck, please tell me what to do!”

“Is she always like this?” Ripper asked as she pointed a hoof at me.

Mudpie nodded slowly. “That’s why I love her.”

“And here they call me insane.” she said dryly. Then the smell of rotten eggs grew to almost a gagging level and the distant thunder of a massive explosion in the east reached our ears. Ripper turned to the east and her mouth dropped. “Uhh... I think I need to move my bomb to higher ground.”

I followed her gaze as she spoke and I gasped.

Off in the distance was an orange light at the top of the tallest mountain. Slowly running down the side of the mountain were multiple lines of orange and more of the bright liquid was shooting out of the top in small explosions every second. A massive pitch black cloud reached into the heavens to obscure the stars and moon. The cloud loomed over the city as grey snow slowly fell and lightning flashed inside the cloud while thunder kept coming until it was almost constant.

“What is...?” I asked softly as I caught a snowflake in a hoof. I rubbed it with my other one which caused it to smudge and realized what it was. “It’s ash... then that means...” I looked back up at the mountain.

“It’s a volcano.” Mudpie finished for me.

A high-pitched whine echoed up from the engine room of the Crescent Moon. As the whine died down there was a loud metallic thump followed by many small vibrations. My gaze was drawn to the outer lights of the ship as they rapidly turned on one by one down the length of the ship. The hull groaned as it slowly moved back and after a few seconds the rusted chains holding it to the dock went taught. With a shudder the whole ship shook and groaned as its rearward momentum was halted.

Sister and I were thrown aft and we slid down the giant funnel to the deck as it rocked in place, or would have had Sister not caught me with her forelegs. She hovered away from the ship as the Crescent Moon moved forward until the chains went taut again. In the course of flying away from the ship I only just now noticed how massive it was. She looked to be eight hundred feet long and ninety feet wide and severely rusted with recent, like in the last month, repairs. They repeated this maneuver over and over, and each time it was accompanied by a loud metallic slam that echoed over the distant thunder. Due to the sheer size of the vessel it looked to be happening in slow motion and each time it was pulled to a stop it pushed a wall of water into the dock.

Eventually one of the severely rusted chains at the stern snapped and fell into the water with a large splash. The ship continued on until the bow chain went taut and pulled the bow down. The rocking funnel finally broke loose of the area built up around it and slid off the superstructure into the bay with a thump.

I watched in amazement as the stern was lifted out of the water and slammed into the dock as the large starboard propeller began to tear it apart in a spray of splinters and water. The ship began to back away as it angled itself from the dock. It rapidly, or as rapid as a ship that large could go, picked up speed until the bow chain went taut and finally ripped the thing holding it to the hull off the rotted wood deck.

The chain anchor, along with various bits of the deck, slid off into the water and the Crescent Moon began to navigate from the bay. I looked across at the Steel Ranger base and noted that their flat decked ship had begun to move as well. Though it didn’t have as much trouble as this one and was already halfway out of the bay.

Ripper looked at me and shouted, “if ya got any business in this city I suggest you finish it fast. ‘Cause that lava’s gonna run right through this valley on its way to the sea!”

I thought over her words and I got perhaps the worst idea in all of Equestria.

“Your balefire bomb!”

Shell Shock: Level up!
New perk - Swing for the Moon. You deal 10 additional damage with all melee weapons.

Main quest updated - Oakwood Blues, III. Objective updated: Kill Eclipse.

Side quest updated - ???? Escape From Oakwood. Self explanatory.

Companion perk - Stealth Mare: Your invisibility spell is more effective when Mudpie is in your party.