Chapter 15: River Rats.
“Some day you’ll look back and wonder why you turned left instead of right.”

Zakiya blinked in confusion as she tilted her head. "What's that mean? You ran food out to the ponies who were fighting?"

I shook my head as I giggled a little bit. "No, it means I did a lot of cooking in the restaurant."

"Oh," the zebra nodded slowly. "Well perhaps you can do the cooking around here sometime."

"Maybe," I shrugged as I adjusted the boat to keep it in the center of the river where it was deepest. "Perhaps not. I do not intend to stick around for very long. Only until I help you get to this next town." I nodded slowly as if to reassure myself that I was correct in my words.

Zakiya stretched while looking around. "Nice to see the mist is leaving us. Hopefully it will take the Mist Roamers with it."

"I would have called them Howlers, because of the sound they make." Underneath the bandages, my muzzle and flank began itching due to that muck on them, so I started rubbing my muzzle with a hoof.

"Stop," the zebra said loudly. I did so and looked at her in confusion. My head tilted at an odd angle so I could see her with my one good eye. "You will reopen the wounds if you keep that up."

"But Zakiya, it itches, the goop is all icky and dried!" I whined like a foal as my ears folded back. "What is this stuff anyway?"

"Kelp," she replied with a nod. “Well, ground up kelp, some diluted plant venom and a few nice words make a nice healing paste. While not as effective as a healing potion or bandage. It is enough to heal you over time so you don’t die from blood loss, but you will need real treatment soon.”

“No wonder it smells bad.” I muttered quietly.

Zakiya rolled her orange eyes. Then stood up as her ears swiveled back and slowly looked in that direction. “Great…”

“What?” I leaned over to look around Zakiya and the boiler, and frowned.

Floating on the river ahead of us was a flat looking boat with twin pipes at the top breathing fire and smoke. The main portion of the boat looked like a large house painted a dingy white color with tall wood structures like gun turrets. On its sides were strange bulges that kicked up water. But, on the front, was a single large gun pointed directly at us with a few ponies behind it.

"Slow us down and move to the right," Zakiya said quietly.

“What?” I sat back in my original position and stared at Zakiya in clear confusion.

She looked at me and glared with her orange eyes while pointing her hoof to the right. “Do it! If not, they might open fire.”

My magic adjusted the controls as the zebra’s boat slowed down a little bit and moved far to the right side of the river. I watched as the large ship drew ever closer and saw that it even had guns on its side.

“They might have twenty millimeter rounds,” I said as I grinned. “We can flag them…” However, I noticed the large round paddle wheels were already slowing down as if they had heard me. “...down and… ask them…?”

Zakiya looked over at me and nodded. “When two boats meet, they must slow to a stop and signal their intentions.”

“That sounds ludicrous. Whoever made that up must have wanted an easy target,” I said as a dull mournful note rang out from the boat. It steadily increased in pitch as a cloud of steam rose in the air from a small point on the boat. My ears swiveled forward as it increased to an almost ear piercing volume and sharply cut off. “Huh?”

A loud, but shrill and high pitched, wail caused me to look over at Zakiya holding a lever down. The boat we were on was making the noise from a whistle I assumed. Zakiya let the lever go, then pulled on it three more times in rapid succession. The large steam boat across the river wailed three times in response.

“What is going on?” I asked Zakyia with my head tilted as the faint ringing in my ears died down.

She grinned at me. “You wanted a trade, I signaled we wished to trade.”

After what felt like an eternity, small boat slowly made its way across the river towards us. I stared at the large steam boat with the large guns and wondered if it ship was the Celestia’s Delight or not, but Zakiya spoke of the Delight as an airship. So I disregarded that idea.

“What kind of ship is that?” I asked Zakiya.

“A dinghy like mine, but smaller,” she replied.

I facehoofed. “Not that one. The big one.”

“Oh,” she scratched her chin as the small boat drew ever closer. “I believe that is the Mare of War. A strange vessel crewed by strange ponies.”

"Strange how?"

"They use fire and robots to take down their foes. I got my flamethrower from them in exchange for modifying some of their armor."

As the small craft came nearer, I saw there was a pony wearing a dark green duster with ornately painted metal plates over the coat. In all, the armor looked almost as bulky as a Steel Ranger suit of power armor, but the pony was wearing a top hat that was equally decorated. There were a pair of nozzles around her forelegs which appeared to look like the end of a flamethrower.

"Shit," Zakiya hissed, "that one creeps me out."

"Why?" I tilted my head a bit as the boat grew ever closer.

"Because she's nice. Almost too nice."

I was going to reply, but the mare on the other boat levitated her hat off her head and bowed. "Ahoy fine travellers! It has come to my attention that you seek trade," she stood up as she placed the top hat back on her head. That was when I noticed that she was a pale green-blue color. "I am sure we might be able to accommodate your needs in one way or another, so how about you two fine mares?" she smiled the last bit of it.

Something about her made me wonder why they picked her and not another pony. I glanced at Zakiya, who nodded at me, so I looked at the strange mare again and tossed a rusty 20mm casing across the gap. The armored mare caught it in a pinkish magic field and floated it close to inspect it. "We need at least fifty rounds in that caliber."

"Hm..." the mare turned the casing over a couple of times. "Something that fires this must be big. Big enough to hunt down vehicles with, but why only fifty?" She glanced at me as she put the casing into a pocket. "You don't want two hundred or some obscene number like a thousand so you can run around murdering innocent vehicles?"

"Fifty would be nice," Zakiya added before I could open my mouth, "but we really were hoping for three at the most."

"Right," the armored mare adjusted her hat and smirked. "Let’s get down to business: What do you have to offer?"

"Um..." I gulped as I slowly looked over at my bags. There was really nothing in there that I would want to trade and I doubted Zakiya wanted to give anything up. Then I looked at the mare. "We have information?"

"What kind?" she tilted her head some.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Zakiya spoke first. "I can fix something for you."

The armored mare scratched her chin for a moment before nodding. "One of our boilers isn't working quite right and you can take a look at it. In return, we will give you five twenty millimeter rounds and let you go on your way."

I let out a breath and smiled. "Thank you."

"Right," the mare motioned for her boat to go and it began moving. "Well follow us then. And no tricks!"

*** ***

I looked at the ship as Zakiya's boat brushed against it. The vessel was large, but not so massive as the Steel Ranger ship or the Crescent Moon. The ship next to us looked like it might even be capable of crossing the ocean if the captain was crazy enough.

And that caused me to smile.

A pony tossed some rope down to Zakiya and the zebra quickly started tying it to her boat. I looked up at the deck again with my ears back as my smile slowly faded. Some ponies were pointing flamethrowers and what looked like hoofmade rifles at me.

"No sudden moves, understand?" one asked loudly. I nodded in response which seemed to satisfy them, because they smiled a bit. "Be a nice alicorn and you'll keep-"

"Trigger!" the armored mare snapped, drawing the attention of the earth pony. "That's no way to treat a guest under the protection of a trade agreement."

"Yes, ma'am," Trigger nodded as he tipped his hat. That was when I noticed that all of the ponies on the ship, that I could see, wore matching clothes of varying quality. The three ponies above me all wore dark green dusters and top hats with rank insignias on them. It was as if I stumbled upon the Steel Rangers. If the Rangers chose to get rid of their power armor.

The armored mare walked into my view as the three ponies quickly backed away like they were scared shitless of her. She looked down at me with a glowing horn. I tensed up in preparation to attack, but looked at her in confusion when a rope ladder was tossed down.

"Thanks, but I think I'll fly," I smiled. She shrugged and took a few steps away. I shut Zakiya's boat off like she showed me to, picked up my gear in magic and hopped onto the deck with a powerful flap of my wings.

My hooves hit the deck with a hollow thump as the mare said, "looked more like a jump to me."

"I fall with style," I bowed my head slightly, noticing that Zakiya was already on the ship and being escorted off somewhere. I looked at the mare and smiled a bit. "I would like to speak with the captain."

She looked me up and down for a moment before tilting her head some. I wondered what she was thinking about and who the ponies were, but I would not find either by just staring at her. I would have needed to use my telepathy to know what she was thinking, but chose not to out of respect for the two flamethrower nozzles on her forelegs.

"Why do you need to see the captain? He's very busy." Regardless of how nice she had been, her tone put me off and made me feel a bit annoyed.

"Because I need to ask him something important to me. Is that so hard to comprehend?"

"Not at all." The mare smiled as she turned around and began walking the deck. "Follow me."

I stole a glance the way Zakiya had gone and made sure nothing was amiss before following after the armored mare.

*** ***

The armored mare opened a wooden door and stepped inside the central superstructure. As I followed in, I wondered where they had found time to acquire the lush red carpet that looked in pristine condition. Even the dark wood walls of the interior were rich in color, and the lights appeared to be working perfectly. It was as if I stepped back in time to before the war.

"How did..." I mumbled to myself as I followed along and looked at the ceiling that showed no sign of wear or dirt. "This is... beautiful."

"Yes," the mare looked over her shoulder and smiled. "It's a lot of work keeping this old girl fit, but we manage."

We walked by white wooden doors that appeared to be new as well. It made me wonder if they even had a problem with their boilers, or were being nice and made something up to separate us before they robbed us. There were many questions floating in my mind about the boat, the ponies, Eclipse, and most of all. What keeps drawing so many ponies to the island.

The mare turned a corner and the hallway appeared to go on forever, but I knew it was just an illusion and the hallway was much shorter than infinity. I followed her up a set of stairs until we came to a doorway marked 'Crew Quarters'. The mare stepped into the hallway that was less plush and continued walking.

I noticed the lack of ponies around the ship and had only seen very few, so I asked, "why do I not see anypony?"

"A precaution against an invader. Until you prove you're not hostile, we are staying away from everypony." she stopped at a door and knocked hard enough with an armored hoof that I thought the door was going to break, but it did not.

"But I'm not invading. All I want is to trade and talk."

"Well the Captain's time is money, so speak plainly and quickly," she said as she knocked again. And waited a few more moments. Moments that dragged out and I could have sworn my heart was going to beat its way out of my chest.

"Something wrong?" I asked quietly with a tilt of my head.

"No." The mare frowned and knocked a third time, but hard enough that the door cracked a little. "Captain Spice!" she shouted at the door. "There is a pony here to speak with you!"

She received no response and that caused my ears to slowly fold back.

"I don't believe this shit," she hissed as she tried the door handle with magic and found it unlocked. "Huh? He keeps that locked when he's out..." Slowly, the mare opened the door and stuck her head inside. "Captain?"

I walked over as the mare went inside. She made a motion with a hoof to indicate I should wait, so I planted my rump on the floor and waited. With the door open I could see a large room decorated in a way that could rival a pre-war mansion, which made me wonder where they found everything. Or if I somehow stepped back in time.

"Captain?!" the mare shouted as she walked a large circle around the room.

A door off to the side was flung open and a stallion with a cigar in his mouth walked out, glaring at her. "A stallion can't take a shit without being yelled at?!" he shouted back at her.

"Oh," the mare gulped, "um..." She pointed a hoof at me. "This alicorn wishes to speak with you."

"Then come in and shut the door," he motioned at me with his hoof.

I glanced down the hallway and made sure I was alone before following his instructions. The captain walked over to a wooden desk and sat down in what appeared to be a a large leather chair. Slowly, I walked over to the desk and bowed my head to the side a bit, noticing that the mare's flamethrower nozzles were lit as if she thought I would attack.

"Captain," I began quietly with my mouth so as to not piss them off. "I wish to hire passage on your ship."

"Where to and why?" he set his cigar in an ash tray and leaned back, opening a drawer.

After a few moments of digging, he pulled a roll of paper out and unrolled it. Revealing it to be a desk sized map of the island chain which appeared to be recently drawn by hoof. The name Oakwood Ruins was drawn on the largest island near a river delta. He even had Bunkerville not far from one of the smaller rivers to the northeast of the main city. There were a few other cities I didn't bother to pay attention to.

On another island called Cedar Isle, to the northwest of Oakwood Island, was town named Moonville, which I assumed was the Crescent Moon since I had heard it called that once before.

I glanced at the names on the map and my ears slowly folded back. "There is no place named Steel Ranger Base."

The mare giggled and the stallion shot a glare at her, which cut her giggle off. He held the glare for a moment and then nodded slowly. "No, there is no location called that. The Steel Rangers are here," he set his hoof down on Deadwood Cove, which was a horseshoe shaped island southwest of Oakwood Island. "Their ship ran aground in the fog and got stuck."

"Did it fall over?"

"Leaning to the side some, but not falling over," he shook his head. "We did encounter a ship similar to it on the north side of Cedar Isle. Near impossible to get to by hoof and sea." he pointed a hoof at the northern portion of the island with 'Cant Pass' written on it.

"Why is it impossible to get to by hoof and boat?"

"The rocks for one, too many and too close together. Makes getting close by a boat like ours impossible. Another reason is the sheer cliff face. You'd have to be able to fly or walk on walls. Even then, we lost a gryphon to an automated turret. Poor fellow was shot down before he got close."

I frowned a bit. Half of me wondered if it was the ship Bucky had found and my other half didn't care. Still, I had found out that Eclipse was still nearby and that caused me to grin. Since sneaking close to their base would be a lot easier when it didn't move.

"I have a question," the armored mare began, drawing my attention to her. She was pointing a forehoof at my left leg with a small frown. "Why do you rely on such... antiquated technology?"

"Huh?" I blinked in confusion as I tilted my head. "A Pipbuck is the pinnacle of pony technology along with laser weapons, power armor and... and... Stealthbucks."

"If it's the pinnacle of pony technology, then why are we in a wasteland?" she tilted her head in the same direction as mine to match my gaze. "Hm? Answer me that."

"Um..." my ears slowly drooped to the side of my face. The mare was right. I had always assumed that power armor and energy weapons were the best thing pre-war ponies had made. And yet... we blew ourselves up and left future generations with the ashes.

The ship captain rolled his eyes. "Let the alicorn be. If she wants a Pipbuck, she can have a Pipbuck. She doesn't have to follow our rules."

I smiled at the stallion and nodded my thanks, but then my smile slowly faded when I realized something. "But, my Pipbuck is broken.. Only the light works on it."

"Hah!" the mare laughed. I did not look at her, but the stallion glared in her direction. "Why don't you take it off then?"

I held my foreleg up to eye level so I could stare at the device. After a while of thinking about it, I smiled at the armored pony. "Because I like the flashlight function and it is a good weapon in hoof-to-hoof combat."

"Good weapon?" the ship captain tilted his head.

To demonstrate my point, I tapped my hoof against the metal casing, causing the screen to flicker some. "Whatever this is made out of, is so strong you can almost block a bullet with it."

"It's still dead weight," the mare grumbled.

The ship captain cleared his throat and shot a glare at the armored mare. Most likely to shut her up, which worked. After a few seconds of silence from all of us, the captain nodded at me. "My earlier question still stands. Where do you want to go?"

I quickly pointed my hoof at Deadwood Cove and grinned, "I need to go here. There is a pony I have to visit with the Steel Rangers."

"Nnnope," the captain shook his head. "Closest we can get you is Blue Water Marina." He set a hoof down on the southern portion of Oakwood Island. Below his hoof was a crude drawing of a dock and 'Blue Water Marina' below it. "I'm sure you can find your own way to your death from there."

I pressed my forehooves together and bowed my head. "Thank you, and may The Goddess give you fair winds and following seas."

"Except," the captain placed the cigar into his mouth and bit down on the end. "We haven't decided on what you can offer for passage." he managed to mumble coherently around the cigar.

"Captain, if I may speak?" The mare asked. The captain nodded his head in her direction, so she continued. "This alicorn and her zebra companion have already struck up a bargain for five twenty millimeter ammunition in exchange for repairing our boilers."

"Hm..." the stallion leaned back and scratched his chin some as an odd silence fell upon the room. I tilted my head wondering what he was thinking about.

Slowly, I smiled a little. "I do have some information about Bunkerville. A mule named Iron Jaw was recently killed there by a assassin hired by the changelings."

I could feel the mare roll her eyes. The ship captain shook his head. "While his death is interesting, a lot of ponies knew about the bounty on his head. Yet, none were insane enough to carry it out."

"Well," my smile grew a little. "I know the assassin used a Stealthbuck to get close and blow his brains out."

"I'm guessing you're the assassin," the captain said, causing my ears to slowly droop as my smile faded. "But! I don't care about that. What I do care about is what you have to offer in exchange for me taking you to Blue Water Marina."

I pressed my hooves together again and stared at them for a long while. The room became silent again when no pony spoke. I thought about the rifle, 105mn HE shell, but then... my gaze lingered on my scratched up Pipbuck underneath the sock.

Slowly, I looked at the stallion and smiled. "How about I trade you my Pipbuck?"

"I thought you said it was broken?" the mare asked from my left.

"It is," I nodded. "But it is the only thing I think you will accept."

"Well you got one thing wrong," the ship captain said before taking a puff of his cigar. He blew the smoke off to the side and smiled. "There are always other methods."

"Like what?" I tilted my head.

"Well, you could join us for a while, or do some... other odd jobs. But the Pipbuck is a fine trade," he nodded. Then looked at the mare. "Take her to see the Wizard and have her remove the Pipbuck."

"Yes, Captain!" the mare said with an annoying vigor and a salute. I stood up and looked over at the mare as she set the hoof down. "Follow me."

She walked towards the door, but I lingered for a moment to look at the map. Oddly enough, the three islands formed a sort of triangle that looked pretty big. There was even a few question marks dotted around the ocean. Though I did not know their reasoning, perhaps they were shipwrecks? Or long lost islands?

However, the captain glared a bit at me before rolling the map up. I smiled, bowing my head some. "It is an intriguing map you have."

"Shoo," he waved a hoof towards the door. "We'll take you to Blue Water Marina after you've talked with Wizard."

With a deep sigh, I followed the armored mare.

*** ***

I followed along behind the armored mare through the notso plush hallways, but eventually grew bored of the silence. My gaze wandered down from the back of her head to her flanks and I found myself... staring at the rear armor she wore underneath the trench coat. I had no idea why she wore part over the coat and the other part under it, but It'd be something to ask.

The mare flicked her tail at something, causing me to blush a bit from the slight unintended view and look away. "So, this ship is nice," I said in an attempt to distract myself. "Are you Steel Rangers?"

The mare laughed some and shook her head. "Steel Rangers? Hardly. You know of the Canterlot Guard? The ones with the spears, fancy metal armor who sat around the castle a lot?"

"Sort of," I absently nodded. “I have seen their advertisements out in the wastes.” I did not want to reveal my age to these ponies for fear of them holding a grudge against pre-war ghouls.

"Well they are rumoured to be our ancestors. After the war, a small few were on leave and stranded on this boat. Many years later, we roam the seas looking for a place to start anew. Most places are dead and lifeless, yet this island chain is not. Odd, right?"

"I suppose," I shrugged some. "The island inhabitants were trying to figure out a way to grow food anywhere, and it appears they succeeded. This island is quite green while still being dangerous."

"How do you know what they were planning?"

I stopped, gulping slowly, and then smiled at the mare. "I found their data on it."

"Really?" her eyes slowly widened. "Is it on the Pipbuck?!"

"No," I shook my head. As I looked down at the device, I frowned. "That one was taken from me. This Pipbuck was found as a trap."

"We should find it! That data could help save everyone!"

"It won't..." my ears slowly drooped. "There are things that you don't understand, horrible monsters which were created by that data."

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes. "You're probably lying anyway." I looked up as she opened a door and stepped inside. Immediately, I could hear soft piano music and smell strange things, like burning shit.

As I followed the mare inside, I tilted my head some at the strange scene. Along the walls were various masks, helmets, and... skulls. In the center was a strange table and other odd things. Off to one side of the room, a tall dark purple, almost black, pony in a blood stained lab coat was bobbing her head to the music. She appeared to have goggles on her face and a mask that obscured her features. But her horn was evident.

"Wizard!" the armored mare snapped, drawing the mare's attention to us.

Her eyes widened upon seeing me and that is when I noticed the purple eyes and mane along with the wings at her side. "No! No! No!" she shouted as she scrambled away from whatever it was she was working on. The almost black purple alicorn slammed into a table and knocked it over, spilling its contents. "Get that freak away from me!" She stumbled and fell behind the table in a cry of shock. A bright purple flash followed quickly before I could react.

Something about her felt familiar, even the voice. As if... Almost as if she were an alicorn I remembered. But it would have been silly.

"I take it you two know each other?" the armored mare looked at me. I shrugged in response. "What am I saying? You're both alicorns from this island," my eyes widened in shock, "so of course you know each other!"

"What?!" I shouted and walked towards where the mare had gone, but she was not there.

Suddenly, a pony screaming drew my attention to my blind spot and my eye widened in fright. The nearly black alicorn was galloping towards me with a cleaver floating high and ready to strike.

I dove to the side, landing in a roll and, as I quickly stood up, brought out the IF-12 with magic. However, the purple had vanished again, causing me to hiss. "RJ?! Is that you?" I shouted as I scanned around to my left, then quickly to my right. All I saw was the armored mare with a smirk on her face. "RJ! I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know and..." my ears folded back. "And... I would nev-"

"Diiiie!" she screamed from my blind side. I quickly turned in that direction and brought the rifle around, but her magic grabbed it. I felt it tug, so I let it go and dove over the nearest counter, landing in a roll. "Now I have a rifle, hah!" RJ shouted as I stood up on my hind legs and adopted a defensive stance. My horn brushed the ceiling.

"I don't want to fight you. I just-" The rifle clicked empty when she pulled the trigger, causing me to blink in surprise. RJ glanced at the rifle and tore her concentration from the knife.

"What?" she asked herself as she pulled the bolt back and looked inside. "There's no bullets?!"

My magic quickly tore the cleaver away from her and tossed it to the side. Slowly, the armored mare began clapping her hooves together, drawing our attention to her. "Bravo!" she giggled. "Now that this little fight is over, can we get down to business?"

"No!" RJ snapped, tossing me the rifle. I caught it with magic and dropped to all four hooves. "Tell that freak I'm not talking to her!" the purple pointed a hoof at me.

I rolled my eyes. The armored mare walked over to RJ and they began whispering to each other. I tilted my head and tried to listen in, but could not hear anything beyond Pipbuck. If I used telepathy, then RJ would feel me and probably snap again, But, after a while, the purple alicorn nodded with a smirk.

"Fine, I'll help her take the Pipbuck off," she said as her horn glowed. "But I don't have any Pipbuck tools."

That fact caused my head tilt to increase as I blinked in confusion. "Then how are you going to help?"

RJ giggled a little bit as she slowly walked over. I noticed the cleaver was floating back to her. "It's simple, really. We kill you."

"Huh?" I gulped and started backing towards the door, but heard it slam shut. "This wasn't part of the deal!"

"Moron," RJ mumbled with a roll of her eyes. "The Pipbuck will only think you're dead, and so it will release its hold on your leg."

I bumped into the wall and kept trying to back up. RJ looked at the armored mare. The unicorn tilted her head some, her smirk had yet to vanish, and motioned at the table. "Sit, please, and we'll take the Pipbuck off."

"How do I know this isn't some kind of trick?" I asked, tilting my head to the side some. "I know RJ wants to kill me."

The armored mare looked at RJ. The nearly black purple looked at the unicorn and shrugged. "Well, she is pretty nuts. You should have seen what she did to this one pony."

The armored mare rolled her eyes. "Regardless of what she's done to you. She has a deal with us and you will not attack her, understand?"

RJ nodded slowly. She glanced down at the cleaver and sighed deeply, setting it on the table. Slowly, I took a step forward. "What is your name?"

"Mine?" the mare asked. I nodded. "Pepper, and that's Miss Pepper to you, Wizard," she glared at RJ.

With a faint smile, I sat down at the table and placed my Pipbuck leg on it. RJ looked the device over and her face was right near mine. I noticed that her horn appeared as dull as Sister's did and her coat. Was a rich and deep purple that would probably shine softly in the light if it were washed. As it was, the nearly black alicorn was a dingy and dull purple. Her mane was a much lighter shade and almost resembled a light violet hue.

"I think I can get this off," RJ lifted her head up and glanced at Pepper. Then me. "But, since I don't have any Pipbuck tools on me..." my ears folded back. "I'm gonna have to cut your leg off."

"I'm sorry," I blinked in confusion as my head tilted almost ninety degrees. "What was that? I don't think I heard you correctly."

RJ grabbed the cleaver in magic and held it up. "It's simple; we cut your leg off and the Pipbuck will think you died."

My eyes widened in shock and I quickly pulled the leg away, cradling it like a foal. "No! Absolutely not!" I shook my head a few times. "That's... that's absurd!"

"Do you have some attachment to this archaic device?" Pepper tilted her head as she lifted an armored hoof. "I can assure you, you will be better without it."

My eyes narrowed at the mare as an attempted to kill her with an imaginary eye laser. "I have an attachment to my leg!”

“We’ll put it back on,” Pepper nodded at RJ. “Zebra magic is fun like that.”

The purple alicorn floated out a book labeled ‘Five ways Zebra magic can help you survive’. It looked new and recently printed, but it still did not change the point.

“But one time,” RJ’s ears folded back as she looked at the book, “a pony’s leg was put on backwards… except that was the first time I tried it!”

“Poor guy had to have it cut off twice…” Pepper mumbled.

My eyes widened in shock. “What?! Let me see that stupid book!” I snatched it away from RJ and flipped it open with my own magic. It detailed how to make a healing potion, how to make some kind of a sticky paste stuff to attach limbs again, and two other things I didn’t bother paying attention to because I tossed the book back at RJ. “How are you a ‘wizard’ if your knowledge comes from a book about zebra magic, which is more or less alchemy?”

RJ frowned, turning the book over to look at the cover. She stared at it for a while and I could swear I heard gears turning inside her head. Pepper walked over to a jar of something glowing gold and I knew what it might be.

She levitated the jar in her magic. "Do you know what this is?"

"Alcohol?" I tilted my head.

Slowly, Pepper grinned at me and nodded. "Indeed. Celestia's Ray is what we call it. I take it you have tasted it in some other location?" I nodded slowly. "It, along with our other drink, Luna's Light, brings us a hefty portion of caps from each town we visit. Where there are thirsty ponies, we provide."

"I fail to see what this has to do with RJ."

"Simple really. Brew making is natural for her. Whereas for us, it's harder. Her drinks are better, more flavorful, and profits have nearly doubled since we brought her on board. Hence, she is out Drink Wizard."

"You're the Rum Runners I've heard about," I mumbled.

"Yes, we are." She grinned.

RJ set the book down and sighed, floating over a vial with some green liquid in it. "Look, I don't have any Pipbuck tools on me. This is a proven method, even if I don't like to do it."

"What about if you go to Bunkerville and trade-"

Pepper facehoofed again. "Nopony will give up Pipbuck tools if they have them. Not even for all the caps ever produced."

"I could steal them for you," I replied with a nod, smiling a bit. Pepper shook her head, causing my ears to go back. "Why not?"

"Tracker," RJ said quietly. "A ghoul that seems insane, but can track anypony across the island."

Pepper nodded at RJ's words. "You cross Queen Cog, and Bunkerville sends Tracker after you. No pony has ever escaped that ghoul."

Even though it sounded like a ghoul with a Pipbuck, I gulped and tried to smile, but frowned. "What do we do then?"

RJ draped a cloth over the table and began sharpening the cleaver. Pepper set a jar of Celestia's Ray down on the table, followed by a belt from a saddle and a bonesaw. The unicorn opened the jar and took a sip from it.

I smiled a little bit at the mare and took the drink, giving it a sniff. To me, there was a very strong alcohol smell, and yet... there was a faint smell like sweet oranges. Slowly, I took a sip and the orange flavor overpowered my tongue to the point where I could not taste the alcohol. Yet I felt the drink burn all the way down into my stomach and sit there warming it up.

"That is quite good!" I giggled, causing RJ to grin. "You can hardly taste the alcohol."

"There's a surprise inside," the dark purple alicorn nodded.

"What kind?" I tilted my head as I lifted the jar up to look at the bottom. There was a pair of orange slices resting on the glass. "Aha! So you drink all of it, and then eat the oranges."

"Yep."

I took another sip of the nice orange flavored alcohol and smiled a bit as I slowly started feeling the effects. "What's in Luna's Light? That stuff was bitter and strong last time I had it."

"It's much stronger alcohol and flammable. As for what's inside it. There's nothing."

"Oh," I nodded slowly and took another sip. "You know... you should put some apricots in another batch of this stuff. And... strawberries, or cherries, in Luna's Light."

"Hm..." RJ tapped her chin in thought as I took a third sip. It did not take a rocket scientist, or wizard, to figure out what they wanted; me drunk and numb to pain.

I obliged their wishes by taking another, much longer, sip.

*** ***

Using her magic, RJ slowly pulled my hoof sock off and set it in my bags off to the side, which held my jacket and other gear. The socks were still on as they were the last item before the Pipbuck. Other than that, I was naked.

Pepper stood off to my left smiling for some odd reason. I, on the other hoof, was starting on my 2nd jar and had an orange slice in my mouth.

"Shock," said RJ with a sigh. "Haven't you had enough of that stuff? Most ponies would be passed out by now!"

"Nope!" I replied with my mind as I grinned, holding the orange slice with my teeth.

RJ facehoofed and shook her head. "Miss Pepper, I don't... I can't go through with this in her current state."

"Why not?" Pepper asked as I pulled the orange slice in and began chewing. "You said you wanted payback. Now's your chance!"

I hiccuped a bit and my cheeks felt like they were sweating. "What's wrong with what we agreed on?"

"See?" RJ pointed a hoof at me. "She can't even talk straight!"

"You need to open your ears," I hiccuped again.

"She wasn't supposed to get shitfaced," RJ groaned, slamming her hoof on the table. "Only enough to dull the pain. It’s not funny anymore."

"Maybe she'll pass out and we can cut her leg off then?" Pepper shrugged.

I set my leg on the table and nodded at RJ, "let's do this." RJ grabbed the cleaver in magic and levitated a leather wrapped wooden dowel into my mouth. I bit down on it as the purple levitated the cleaver up. "I ever tell you our sister, Sister, died?" I asked with my mind.

RJ tilted her head some with an eyebrow raised. "What was that?"

"Mudpie... died..." I looked down at the Pipbuck as my ears slowly dropped to the side of my face, but then I took a long draw of the Celestia's Ray, but due to the dowel... a lot spilled out. As I set it down, my eyes watered a bit. "Eclipse... killed her right in front of me. Made me watch as they beat her to death. I... I was powerless to stop them, but I tried to. But..." I slowly looked up into RJ's eyes. She had her ears back and appeared completely confused or scared. "I swore I'd kill that bitch, to make her pay, for what she did to Mudpie. That... is why I am doing this."

RJ blinked a couple of times, and then brought the cleaver down.

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Shell Shock: 75% to the next level. FFS, kill something or do some quests to level up!