The moment Twilight heard the words “last night,” she knew where this was going. She also knew it was not going to end well with Rainbow Dash being in the room. With this in mind, she turned to the pegasus and said,

"Rainbow Dash, whatever Sketch is about to say, just stay calm."

"Um... okay, Twi…" Dash said, confused as to what her friend was getting at.

"So you know how Pinkie Pie has been acting weird lately?" Sketch asked

"Yeah…" answered the pegasus.

"I think it has something to do with Lighting and her having a falling out. When I went to go see her earlier today, she said something about him being, in her words, ‘a dirty, stinkin’ cheater’.”

"WHAT!!!!!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "Oh, when I get my hands on that little weasel, I'll crush him!"

The agitated pegasus spread her wings, getting ready to fly off and find Lightning, but before she could, Twilight stopped her dead in her tracks with a paralysis spell.

"Rainbow, wait! It's not Lightning’s fault!" said the alicorn.

“What do you mean ‘it’s not his fault’!?” she argued. “Pinkie told me that she loved him, and he went and broke Pinkie’s heart! That rat with wings deserves the flank kicking of a lifetime!”

"Well..." Twilight started. “It was all a big misunderstanding. I called Lightning over to help me stack some books since Spike was injured. I wasn’t comfortable with flying on my own, so I had him over so he could catch me if I fell.”

“How could you not be comfortable with flying when I’ve been teaching you?” Dash inquired.

“Well, your training methods don’t really suit me…” Twilight admitted, and Rainbow Dash grunts in response.

“Anyway, while I was shelving some books on the top shelf, my wings started to tire out, and I fell on top of Lighting, and we ended up is a rather… compromising position. That was when Pinkie Pie came and assumed the worst.”

“Wow…” said the pegasus. “So that’s what happened. You know, this could have been avoided if you’d just try harder during our training sessions.”

Sketch puts a hand on his forehead and sighs incredulously. “Dash, I think we have more important things to worry about, like getting Pinkie and Lightning to make up,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about it on the way over here and I came up with an idea.”

“And that is…” said Rainbow.

“An intervention. We’ll get those two in the same room together so that they can work this out face to face.”

“While that is a good idea, Sketch, there’s one problem,” said Twilight. “Those two won’t even leave their houses. From what you told us, Pinkie’s in her room having mood swings and Lightning is having random bursts of anger.”

"Don't worry about Lighting. I'll take care of him," Sketch said. “Rainbow Dash, you convince Pinkie Pie to go with you to your place. I doubt that she’ll want to come here, considering that she’s just as mad with Twilight as she is with Lightning.”

“Right,” said Rainbow, and she flies out the nearest window, leaving a rainbow trail.

“Good luck with Lightning,” said Twilight.

“Thanks,” replied Sketch. “If he’s still as mad as he was last night, I’m gonna need it.”

As Sketch entered the house, he immediately noticed the eerie silence. His first instinct was to go to Lighting’s room, where he’d most likely be moping about Pinkie, but to his surprise, he wasn’t there. Sketch then proceeded to look throughout the entire house, but he couldn’t find his pegasus friend anywhere.

“Shit, he must have left the house. This is gonna make it harder for me to find him,” the unicorn said to himself.

Just then, Sketch heard some noises. After listening harder, the noises sounded like thumping, as if somepony was punching something. He started to follow the noises, and the closer he got to where they were coming from, the louder they became. Eventually, Sketch reached a door that he never saw before.

“Why haven’t I noticed this door before?” he thought to himself as he opened said door, and he was met with a staircase that led downwards. “I didn’t know we had a basement,” he thought again as he descended down the stairs. As he went down, he heard grumbling, grumbling that sounded very familiar. “Found him,” the unicorn thought.

"Lighting, what are you doing down… here…" Sketch tried to say, but he was taken aback by what he saw.

Instead of the basement that he was expecting to see, Sketch saw a room that was set up like a training area, complete with punching bags and martial arts dummies. As he expected, though, he did find Lightning, who was punching and kicking the life out of one of the dummies while he grumbled to himself. He was so wrapped up in what he was doing that he didn’t seem to notice that Sketch had entered the room. Lightning continued to thrash away at the wooden figure until one fierce kick sends its head flying off and into a pile of already destroyed practice dummies.

“You’ve got some issues, don’t you?” the unicorn asks with his trademark sarcasm. He knew that he was risking getting another knife thrown at him, but Lightning needed a reality check.

"What do you want?” he asked coldly. “And make it quick. I don't need you standing there taking up space."

“Oh, please. Don’t play the whole ‘brooding heartbroken tough guy’ game with me,” Sketch retorted. “I’m sure you can find something more productive to do than destroy dummies while moping about Pinkie.”

“I’ll do what I want.”

“’I’ll do what I want!’ Will you listen to yourself? You sound like a little foal. You really need to grow up.”

“Who are you to say anything? I’m sure your relationship with Applejack is perfect, but my relationship with Pinkie Pie is down the toilet because of some stupid misunderstanding!”

“If it’s so stupid, why don’t you try and do something about it?”

“You don’t think I tried!? Pinkie wouldn’t listen to me!”

“So you’re just gonna give up there? Some ninja you are.”

“Shut up! I don’t want to talk about it anymore!”

“Fine, but Twilight needs us over at her place.”

“No way! I’m not going there again. If I hadn’t gone there last night, none of this would have happened!”

“So now you’re gonna blame Twilight? You just can’t take responsibility, huh?” Sketch scoffed. “I can’t believe you’re being such a drama queen over Pinkie Pie. If you ask me, she’s not even worth it.”

Lightning’s ears twitched at that remark. He turned his head and looked at the unicorn with anger in his eyes. “What did you say?” he said threateningly.

“I said she’s not even worth it. You’re losing your shit over a mare that’s not even all that good looking. On top of that, she’s incredibly annoying. I don’t even know how you can stand to be around her for more than a minute. If you ask me, you’re better off without her.”

As Lightning stood there and took all the insults in, Sketch looked up to make sure the basement door was still open. He then looked back at Lightning, and the pegasus spread his wings almost instantaneously, a sign that Sketch needed to run.

And run he did. The unicorn left the basement at a running speed that almost rivaled that of Rainbow Dash. By the time he got to the front door, he heard a threatening scream come from the basement.

“I’LL KILL YOU FOR SAYING THAT, YOU LITTLE, PRICK!”

Sketch ran as fast as his legs could carry him, and he couldn’t help but chuckle. He had planned for Lightning to get this mad, and now he’s going to foolishly chase him right to Twilight’s library, where a trap was waiting for the foolish stallion. The unicorn stopped right at the front door and turned around to see that Lightning had just flown out the front door, the force of the wind shutting the door. The enraged pegasus was flying right towards Sketch, who merely smirked and opened the door behind him before stepping to one side. Waiting for Lightning was a spider web that was Sketch drew and planted in the doorway. Lightning saw the web and tried to stop, but he was flying too fast, and the web was too close for him to stop in time. The poor stallion ended up crashing into the web and tumbling into the library.

“What the hell is all this about,” he yelled. “Let me out of he-AAAAAAAAAGH!!!”

Lightning was quickly silenced by an electrical shock that coursed through the web, electrifying the pegasus into submission. After receiving the painful shock, he looked up and saw Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and to his surprise, Pinkie Pie, as well. However, she didn’t seem happy to be there. In fact, there was a magical barrier surrounding her, as if she were being held against her will. Just then, a sudden realization struck Lightning.

“Don’t tell me, this is-”

“An intervention? You catch on quick,” said Sketch. He then looked at Rainbow and Pinkie. "How were you able to wrangle her, Dash?" he asked.

The pegasus let out a sigh "Well…"

SEVERAL MINUTES EARLIER

Rainbow Dash was flying as fast as she could towards Sugarcube Corner, where her pink friend was sure to be moping in her room. When she finally reached the aforementioned bakery, she flew up to Pinkie's window and rapped her knuckles on the glass repeatedly.

"Pinkie!" she called. "Pinkie, come over here!"

The mare in question was lying on her bed, her coat, mane, and tail all in the same condition that Sketch told her it was in. "This really is serious," the pegasus said to herself.

"Leave me alone, Rainbow Dash," she said in a monotone voice, not even bothering to look at the pony she was talking to. "I want to be alone."

"But you've got to come out of there," Dash pleaded. "You can't stay cooped up in your room all day."

"And why not?" Pinkie defiantly retorted, finally looking at her flying friend.

The pegasus was put on the spot right there. She had to come up with some reason why Pinkie would leave her room, and for some reason, she was finding it difficult to find a legitimate excuse.

"Because… because…" she repeated, until she finally figured out a good alibi, her face brightening at her sudden realization. "Because Applejack broke another Pinkie Promise!"

Almost instantaneously, the pink earth pony's coat and mane brightened and returned to form, not in joy, however, but in anger.

"WHAT!!!" she shouted, her voice almost resembling that of a demon. "WHERE IS SHE!?"

"She's at Twilight's house, but she's about to leave, so we gotta hurry!" Dash said with false urgency as she resisted the urge to chuckle evilly. "Got her," she thought to herself.

"Long story short, I was able to lure Pinkie here," Rainbow Dash said as she finished her brief story.

"What's the point in all this! We don't have anything to say to each other!" Lighting yelled.

"For once I have to agree with him," Pinkie said, not even bothering to look at her ex-coltfriend, "but just because I agree with him doesn't mean I forgive him."

"But I didn't do anything to ..."

"I don't want to hear it, you liar!!!"

"ANYWAY!" Sketch interrupted, silencing the bickering couple. "Like I said, this is an intervention. Both of you have been acting really moody lately, and while I can't speak for everypony, it's really friggin' annoying!"

Lighting and Pinkie Pie looked at each other, mostly with disdain, then they looked back at Sketch.

"But we're fine!" the pink mare argued. "There's nothing going on between us."

The unicorn stallion couldn't help but smirk. "I never said there was something going on," he said as the mare's ears fell in embarrassment. "So, since neither of you are going anywhere, why don't you tell me exactly what happened, Pinkie?"

"You're listening to HER side of the story!?" Lightning said. "What the hell, man! I thought we were friends!"

"I thought the same thing when you threw a knife at me last night," Sketch bluntly retorted. "Besides, you'll get your turn, so just sit and be quiet." He then turned his attention back to Pinkie. "Go on."

"Okay, fine," the mare said. "Last night, I was going to pay Lightning a visit, but when I got to your house, nopony was home. I was about to head back home, but then I heard voices coming from here as I passed by."

Twilight started to twiddle her thumbs; she knew exactly what was coming next.

"What exactly did you hear?" Sketch asked.

"Well, Twilight was all 'Lightning, I don't know if I can-' and then Lightning was all 'Just relax, I'm right here,' and then Twilight was all 'I can't hold out. I'm gonna… I'm gonna… AAAGH!'"

Everypony stood there as they listened to Pinkie's account of what happened, all with varying degrees of shock and disbelief. Twilight was more embarrassed than anything else, having to conceal her face with her wings to avoid making eye contact with anypony. No offense to Lightning, but she never wanted to lose her virginity to him. In addition to that, she wanted to have her first time on a big, comfortable bed in a romantic setting, not in the middle of the floor like some kind of wild animal.

Sketch cleared his throat and attempted to disregard Pinkie’s rather… vivid interpretation of the events that took place that night. “Okay, well… Lightning, why don’t you tell me your side of the story?”

“Hmph,” the pegasus grunted. “Well, while you were out with Applejack last night, Twilight called and asked if-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back it up,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “You went out with AJ, Sketch?”

“That’s not the point, Dash,” he said, annoyed. “Continue, Lightning.”

“Right. Twilight called me and said that she needed help re-shelving because Spike had an injury, so I came over to help out. She still wasn’t used to flying yet, so I stayed on the ground to catch her if she fell. When she said ‘I’m gonna-’ she meant that she was gonna fall, and when she screamed, it was because she was falling to the ground.”

Pinkie took the stallion’s explanation in for a moment, but then she scoffed at him. “I wonder how long it took you to make that story up,” she says. “Knowing you, it probably took you all night.”

Lightning’s frustration with the mare came to an all-time high at that moment. Wasn’t Applejack supposed to be the stubborn one? It’s like Pinkie refused to believe the truth, and he had had enough of it.

“If I’m lying, then answer me this, Pinkie:” he said, raising his voice, “if Twilight and I were having sex, why were all of our clothes on when you found us on the floor!? Last time I checked, it was impossible to have sex like that! On top of that, if I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t have chased you halfway across town to explain myself!”

Pinkie’s eyes widened, firstly because she never thought that Lightning would raise his voice to her like that. Secondly, she realized that he was right. If he really liked Twilight more than her, he wouldn’t have even cared if she hated him, and he wouldn’t have gone after her.

Seeing that the mare’s face lost its tension, Lightning figured that she got the message, and he lowered his voice. "Pinkie Pie, I would never try to hurt you,” he said, and he made sure that he was looking in her eyes before continuing. “I love you, and the last thing I’d want to do is give you a reason to doubt that.”

Sketch and Twilight looked at each other for a moment and nodded to each other. They then proceeded to break the restraints they had on their friends, Twilight releasing Pinkie from the barrier, and Sketch erasing the web that was keeping Lightning on the ground. Pinkie looked into Lightning’s eyes as a tear fell from one of hers, and she rushed over to him, wrapping him in a big hug.

“Oh, Lightning!” she said. “I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have been so mean to you. You’re right; I should’ve known that you’d never try to hurt my feelings.”

“It’s okay Pinkie,” the pegasus said, hugging her back. “I’m just glad you believe me now.”

“Let me make it up to you,” she said, quickly regaining her cheerful personality, “Let’s go out and spend all day together! We’ll go to the movies, then go to dinner, then go walk around town, then go to another party, then-”

“That sounds great, Pinkie,” Lightning said.

“Why don’t we go now?” she asked.

“I don’t see why not,” he said, and he took the mares hand and walked out of the library with her, not even acknowledging the existence of the other ponies in the room.

“Goodbye,” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically after the newly reformed couple shut the door.

“Let them have their moment, Rainbow,” said Twilight.

“Well, thank God that’s over,” said Sketch with a heavy sigh.

“Who?” the two mares asked in confusion.

“Uh.. never mind,” he said. “Anyway, now that this whole soap opera is over, I’m going back home.”

“To do what?” Rainbow asked.

“If Lightning is gonna be out with Pinkie all day, that means I’ll have the whole house to myself! I’d be stone cold crazy to pass that up! I was planning on sleeping in today anyway, but then all this crazy drama happened. Now I really could use a rest.”

“I could use some downtime, too,” said Twilight. “I guess our trip to Canterlot yesterday took a lot out of us, huh?”

“Canterlot?” the pegasus asked. “That’s where you guys were going yesterday? What happened?”

Sketch and Twilight sighed. While they could use a rest, a few minutes of storytime wouldn’t kill them.

“Sit down, Dash,” said the stallion. “We’ll tell you all about it.”