Repeater Rifle shambled in through the Third Platoon barracks’ door. Luna’s moon was rising in the sky, meaning that the third to last day before being sent to the front had come to a close. He slowly trotted to his cot, lost in thought.

He found himself thinking more nowadays, now that he had the responsibility of being Sergeant. Right now, he was mentally running through a checklist of things the squad needed to be able to do before they shipped out. By his reckoning, they needed to be competent at using their rifles, needed to be able to overcome their fear, and needed to trust him and follow his orders.

The good news was on the rifle front. In between the Calvary teaching everypony incorrectly and him pulling as much free time as possible and putting it into the range, Repeater guessed that they were the best squad in their platoon when it came to firing rifles, maybe even the company. He cracked a tired grin as he clambered into his bottom bunk. There at least he had done well.

The last two criteria both required Repeater to know his squad and know them well, so he went through what he knew about them in his head. Sparks, Cold Blooded, Joe and himself were good beyond doubt. 801 and the medic were on the far end of the spectrum. 801 was nervous all the time, and it was pretty apparent that he would crack. The medic was just incompetent, and more afraid than 801. Repeater shook his head as he thought of those two. He had tried to help them but so far nothing had worked. ‘Maybe they can’t be fixed,’ he thought glumly as he rolled over to make himself more comfortable. ‘Some ponies just can’t be helped.’

On the up-side, the two that Cold Blooded had claimed wouldn’t make it were actually performing at what he would call average. One of them, 382, was a large earth pony, and from conversing Repeater found out that he was a native of Dodge Junction, and actually worked at a general store there. The other was 736, a unicorn hailing from Las Pegasus that had just dropped out of the school of magic there in order to join. They were all around good ponies once he had gotten to know them.

This brought Repeater right back to the down-side. He had yet to be able to get to know the unicorn twins. The most that he had been able to talk to them was when Repeater asked Muddy Ruts about being named by The Artist after hearing this news from Sparks, and just as soon as that had ended, the two retreated back to the armory, their usual hangout during any and all free time. Repeater frowned as he stared up at the bottom of the bunk above him. If he didn’t know them, then he didn’t know if he could depend on them, and not knowing whether he had 6 or 8 dependable ponies was important.

He closed his eyes in exhaustion and for the first time that day was able to relax. The night was the only time that he could. As he began to nod off he threw out a quick prayer. ‘Celestia, give me the courage and wisdom to lead my fellow ponies in battle. Luna, relieve me of my worries from the day.’ With that, he gave up all attempts to stay awake. His body ached from hooves to head, particularly his right shoulder. He loved his Marechester, but dealing with the kick for 3 hours a day was killing him. Buying his own nonstandard ammunition was too.

Just as he began to get his aching body into a comfortable position the bed creaked and squeaked violently as Static Sparks clambered up the ladder. Repeater cracked an eye and glared at the pony as he continued his loud ascent.

Sparks noticed Repeaters stare and froze, pencil in mouth and paper levitated slightly above him. He levitated the pencil out of his mouth and spoke. “Oh Celestia, sorry about that. Where you asleep?”

“Naw, not yet anyways. Ah was just thinkin’ is all,” Repeater muttered. He had been that close to getting precious sleep, but at the same time didn’t want to upset his friend. A look of genuine relief washed over Sparks face.

“Oh thank goodness, I’d hate to have woken you up.” Sparks said as he flopped into his top bunk. Repeater closed his eyes, hopefully for the final time tonight as he blotted out the general din of the barracks and the scratching of pencil on paper from above. After a few seconds Repeater heard a voice emanate from above.

“So what were you thinking about that’s keeping you up?” Repeater cringed, ‘is sleep too much to ask?’ All the same he answered.

“Ah haven’t got a chance ta talk ta those unicorn twins yet, and ah got ta get ta know ‘em before we head out. If ya would please leave it at that, it would be much appreciated. If ya want ta know more, please ask me in the mornin’. Thank ya, and good night.”

‘Maybe that’ll do it,’ Repeater thought as he tried to go to sleep for the third time. He became faintly aware of the clip-clop of hooves nearby.

“Excuse me sir, can my brother and I trouble you for a moment?”

Repeater sat up in bed and faced the assailing voice. “WHAT THE HAY COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT AT THIS HOUR!?” he bellowed. In front of him the twins backed up, clearly startled.

“Oh, uh, sorry Sergeant Repeater. My brother and I wanted a word with the pony on the top bunk.”

“Yes, we wanted him to test out our latest product.”

Repeater shook his head, then continued to glare at the twins. “Do your testin’ and talkin’ and whatever else away from here. Some ponies are tryin’ ta get some shut eye, ya hear!” the twins nodded hurriedly. “Good!” Repeater said as he slammed his head back against his pillow.

The bunk started creaking and squeaking again as Sparks descended the ladder. “Hey Repeater, aren’t these the ponies you wanted to talk to?” he whispered as the twins backed further from the bunk.

The question snapped Repeater awake. ‘They’re standin’ right in fronta me, and Ah tell ‘em off. Ah must be more sleep deprived that ah thought.’ Repeater sat up in bed and put a hoove to his face to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Yes partner, those are the ponies that ah want ta talk to.” He tiredly turned to the unicorn twins. “Mah apologies for yellin’ at ya, ah’m just worn out’s all. Would ya’ll mind if I came with?”

After his initial outburst, the twins seemed a little more relaxed. “Absolutely Sergeant, feel free to take a sneak peek at our latest invention,” said the one on the left.

“Yeeeeesir, it’s guaranteed to give you the results you want,” the one on the right chimed in.

“Okay, can you tell us what it is?” asked Sparks as they began to trot to the twins’ bunk.

“We can show you,” the one on the left said grandly as he arrived at his bunk and kicked open his trunk. Out of the trunk he levitated… an object. Repeater and Sparks simultaneously cocked their heads to one side as they tried to figure out just what the object was that the twins were beaming in triumph over. Finally Sparks stated his conclusion.

“It’s a metal rod with a pin in the top and the sole of a boot glued to the bottom.”

“No,” said the one on the left with a sly smile. “This contraption that you see before you is the prototype for our latest invention, the Recoil-Reducing-Rubberized-Rearpiece, or Quadruple-R in short.”

“It’s a metal rod with a pin in the top and the sole of a boot glued to the bottom,” Sparks repeated.

The twin looked somewhat annoyed now. “Well, I did say that it was a prototype, didn’t I?”

“So, ya’ll are inventors?” Repeater asked.

“Yes sir, inventors and traveling salesponies, nonpareil” the one on the right said as he took his SMCC off of his shoulder. “Would you mind, brother?”

“Of course not, brother,” said the one on the left as he handed off the thing.

“Non-par-what?”

“Nonpareil, or nonparalleled, my good pony,” the one on the right said. Sparks and Repeater saw that the stock of his SMCC had a hole bored into it, and after taking the pin off the top, the twin slid the contraption into it until only the sole of the boot remained sticking out, covering the back of the stock. The twin re inserted the pin through a smaller hole cut toward the front of the stock, gave the rubber a quick magical pull to make sure it was in place, and then handed the rifle off to Sparks. The one on the left started to speak excitedly.

“Our invention reduces recoil in two ways. The weight of the metal makes the rifle heavier, which means the bullet has more mass to move. It also makes the rifle less front heavy, test the balance for yourself. The rubber piece makes the recoil more comfortable than the solid wood.”

Sparks weighed the rifle in his hoove, checked it clear, and brought it up to aiming position. Everything the twins said was true, and the additional weight at the back did make it less tiring on his forehoove. “So, what do you want me to do?”

“Tomorrow, we want you to test our rifle against yours to see if our Quadruple-R really works.”

“And once our design is finalized, you can have one for yourself for only 20 bits!”

Sparks lowered the rifle and looked at the twins in confusion. “Twenty bits? If it helps us, why not just make them for free?”

“You can’t have salesponies without sales.”

“And it will be well worth the price!”

Sparks was about to protest further, but was cut off by Repeater. “Ah say let ‘em sell it, Ah don’t see the problem.” He turned to the twins, “The private will test out your invention, and ah hope it works for ya. But that ain’t what ah’m here for.”

“And what are you here for sergeant?” the one on the left asked.

“Just ta talk is all, ah want ta get ta know everypony in mah squad, and the two a ya are the only holdouts. So ah heard that one a ya got a name?”

“Muddy Ruts, sir.” The one on the left answered sharply.
“It’s nice ta meet ya properly as we only talked briefly earlier, but now ta business. Tell me ‘bout yourselves. Ya’ll were traveling salesponies and inventors, so what did ya’ll invent and sell?”

Muddy Ruts started, “My brother and I were born in Baltimare, and in our youth we made all sorts of inventions; we had a knack for it you see.”

The unnamed twin leaned in towards Sparks. “Perhaps you have heard of the Pneumatic Power Grabber Glove?” Sparks shook his head no, the twins shrugged. Muddy resumed with his tale.

“We tried and had modest success, until we invented the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 1000.” At the mention of this Sparks noticed Repeaters eyes narrow and face harden. The twins took no notice, and Muddy continued. “Suddenly we were a success, our machine was making quality apple cider by the barrel load, and Baltimare loved us for it. We went through a couple of improvements, until we made our piece de resistance.”

“The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000.” Repeater said, still stoic. Sparks twitched his tail in discomfort. Something was wrong. The twins remained oblivious.

“Precisely, Sergeant, precisely. A mobile apple cider press, so that we could share our quality goods with all of Equestria,” Muddy said with satisfaction. His twin picked up.

“That one you have heard of.”

Repeaters face could have been etched in stone as he responded. “Yessir, ah heard of that from mah cousin Applejack.” The twins mouths dropped slightly and their eyes widened.

“A-Applejack, of the Apples family?” Muddy asked weakly.

“Yessir, Ah take it that that makes the two a ya Flim and Flam. It’s nice ta meet ya properly.” Repeaters Face remained hard, but deep in his eyes a fire was growing. The twins stood slack jawed and speechless. “It’sa small country after all.”

Sparks slowly trotted between the opposing parties and faced Repeater. “You know them? How?”

Repeater gave his answer, all the while staring over Sparks at the twins. “What they didn’tell ya was about how they rode into Ponyville on their fancy machine and tried ta run mah relatives outta business and take their farm.” Sparks turned to the brothers in contempt.

“Really?”

“There’s more to it than that!” Muddy pleaded. “The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 went over budget and we had to take out a loan! The bank wanted their investment refunded or they would take it! We were desperate!”

“That won’t absolve ya, it’s no reason ta try and take someponies land and business. The two of ya listen ta me now. I’m gonna ask ya a question, and ya’ll are gonna answer me. Hear?” the twins nodded. “Why’d ya’ll join the Calvary?”

“The bank collected the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. We were unemployed, and needed work. This was the only place we could turn.” Repeater scratched his chin in thought.

“If ya’ll were ta be, say, removed from the Calvary, it would land ya in the poorhouse, correct?”

Muddy shook his head vehemently. “Please don’t. Please.”

Repeater continued his thinking. “Ya’ll are at mah mercy, then.”

Sparks spoke up now, planting himself firmly between the two. “Don’t do this Repeater; even after what they did to you cousins, they don’t deserve it.”

“Well partner, you’re wrong, but ah ain’t kickin’ them out.” Muddy’s face and his twin’s lit up with relief.

“Thank you, Sergeant, tha-” Repeater held up a hoove and Muddy stopped talking.

“The way ah see it, the two a ya owe the Apple family for the stress that ya caused them, and now ya’ll are gonna pay it back. For the rest of this war, the two a ya will never be more than ten feet away from me. If ah’m ever in trouble, ya’ll are gonna bail me out or ya’ll will die tryin’. And if Ah get it, which ah may, the two a ya will be the ones ta bring me home. If ya’ll ever break this deal, ah’ll have ya discharged so fast the door won’t even hit ya on the way out.”

“Sparks, if that rifle-thing a theirs works, ya tell me, and ah’ll get them ta make one for everypony in the company, and make ‘em submit a patent for no pay.” Repeater pursed his lips, then turned to the twins. “Additionally, Ah see ya’ll have a creative mind. Any other inventions, ya’ll come to me, and we’ll make em’ work ta our advantage.Ya’ll get that?” they nodded quickly in unison. “Good. Now, ah’m of ta bed, goodnight partner.” He faced the twins one last time. “Ya’ll are welcome.”

Author's Notes:

See, this time I was only two days past when I promised it, therefore I will never promise anything again. Next chapter will be up... someday.