I could feel the warmth that the sun gave off, and how the cool grass under me wicked that warmth away ever so slightly. All this in the midst of me coughing and choking up water that came from the depths of my lungs. Of all the ways I’ve come to this place, drowning was so far the worst. I flopped onto my side and threw up, my body wrenching to purge every drop of the foul water as the sensation of freezing took over. The sensation didn’t stay long, but it was just enough that I had to ask why couldn’t I have found 42 in summer. The only thing that persisted was what I can classify as the worst headache I’ve ever had.

“Backlash? Is that you?” A voice spoke up from beside me, it was strange, it sounded almost like… “But, how can this be? We were just at the bridge?” I opened my eyes to find the confused gaze of Isaac looking around.

“Isaac?” I sputtered out and groaned as I put my hooves under me. “What the fuck are you doing here?” The gears in my head started spinning slowly, but the shock of seeing him was slow to wear off and I just stared at him in disbelief.

“Wait, I… I remember!” In an instant, he had the widest smile I’d ever seen on him as he looked like he was about to rocket into the air with excitement. “I know I am Xellos! I remember growing up with Mother, Father, and how Xin cared for me. My job from the time during the war, the day we were accepted into the program…” His gaze drifted from me as the grin on his muzzle dropped ever so slowly. “What the war did to mom and dad. The days after the end…” He sat down in the dirt with a thump, his eyes tearing up as he sniffled. “What I did at the mine, and how I hurt ponies.”

“SNAP OUT OF IT.” I hit him hard, planting my forehoof right on the side of his muzzle. It was great and all that he had his memories back, but the thought of him being here weighed too heavily on me. He’s dying back in the real world, that’s the only way Pinkie said to get here, isn’t it? “Think for me Isaac, how did you end up here?”

He shook his head and rubbed at his face. “I do not know, I spotted you as you fell from the bridge. When I did not see you surface, I took one of the oxygen tanks from my boat and went in after you. l used it to send you to the surface right before…” He stopped and put a hoof to the end of his muzzle. “Did… did we die? Is this what the afterlife is like?”

“Close. Halfterlife actually.” I rolled my eye and pointed a forehoof toward the path I always traveled. “We just have to find pinkie, maybe she can explain why you came with me this time.” I held my hoof towards Isaac, happy to feel him grab it as he got back to his hooves. I have no idea why he was with me, but there had to be a good reason. “She’s probably at the table just over those hills, come on.” No sooner had I finished speaking when the upbeat tune of an old world polka started up from down the path, reinforcing my assumption.

The breeze kicked up as we started to walk, bringing with it the smells of sweets and frosted treats. Isaac took a deep breath of it, relaxing as he took it in. The scent must have brought up good memories, because I could see the worry and tension in his face melt away as we walked. He had been around before the war, so he must have at one time had actual parties, ones that had real cake and treats that weren’t over a century old. As we crested the familiar hill that overlooked the table, I looked down to find and unexpected scene playing out.

“Thank you miss Pinkie Pie, the punch is lovely.” Xin was sitting with a small cup in her hooves, smiling as she sat across the table from the bouncing young filly. In the same moment it took for my blood to boil, Isaac had dashed down the slope and caught Xin off guard with a hug. She caught me standing on the hill and offered up a nervous smile.

“Pinkie, what the fuck is she doing here?” My anger made the gears in my head grind, only serving to remind me that my skull felt like it wanted to split apart. “Why is everypony in this place!?” I sat down and pushed my hooves at my head, hoping that somehow that would relieve the pressure. Unsurprisingly, it did little to help.

“She came for the party, Duh.” Pinkie giggled with a snort and bounced across the table, jumping and belly flopping into a multilayered striped cake. The sugary confection all but exploded in a shower of dark and white chocolate bits, making it just far enough to get onto my hooves while nearly coating Isaac completely. Pinkie re-emerged from the mound of cake by eating her way out, licking her lips before flashing her smile to me again. “Who wouldn’t want their own sister to show up at their welcome to the afterlife, brother sister reunion, Backlash’s very last visit party!? I mean, come on silly, what fun would that be?”

So, his death was why he was here afterall. I swung my gaze over to Isaac, who was slicking the frosting off his coat as a more somber look fell across his face. “So, we are dead then.”

“You are, but you have saved this one’s life.” Xin used her hoof to turn his gaze to me, joining him with a note of shame to her own sorrow. “I am sorry for what I did to you on the mountain. I now know that your offer was genuine, and that I was the engineer of my own demise. I thank you for helping my brother as you did.”

I wanted to ask her why she hadn’t just taken me up on the offer, or if she understood just what she was putting the workers in the mines through, but it wasn’t the time. I turned to pinkie as the gears in my head unjammed themselves, throwing an idea out. “Pinkie, if this is the halfway point to the afterlife, wouldn’t that mean that Isaac isn’t dead?” If there was a way to get back to the real world and save him, I had to at least try! The only response I got from Pinkie was her shoving her face into the punchbowl and slurping loudly. “Send me back, I have to try to save him!”

“Backlash…” Isaac walked up and put his hoof on me. “Waking up here was disorienting, but I remembered that in saving you, I could not escape the falling roadway, and my metal body was crushed by debris. I know I am dead, but now I can finally rest with my family.”

“I… I’m sorry.” Another friend dead at my hooves, all because of my stupid ideas to go at 42.

“You have nothing to apologize for. For the first time in a long time I can feel the breeze in my mane, the sun on my skin, and enjoy the feeling of soil under my hooves.” I looked up to see him smiling, not even a hint of sorrow could be found anywhere across his face. “Do not think of this as a failure. These things are a gift Xin and I have waited over a century to receive. Thank you, my friend.” He pat me on the shoulder, turned and walked down the hill to where Xin was standing. He took his place at her side before waving to me, as if to be saying goodby.

Then I blinked, and they were gone.

The wind whistled through the hills and into my ears, meeting me as the only sound left. The music fell silent the moment they left, and without my notice, the party supplies and remains of cake had disappeared as well. The only thing that remained on the table was Pinkie.

“I hope you don’t mind that I cleaned up, but you can have all the cake you want when you come back, not to mention I have another party to prepare for.” Pinkie let out a yawn and stretched herself out as the sun swung down to the horizon before abruptly stopping just above it, casting the surrounding hills in the most luxurious shade of orange I have ever seen. It was so stunning, it almost made me overlook what she had just said.

“When I come back? I thought this was the last time I was going to be here?” I scrunched up my muzzle. “Even though I don’t exactly get where here is per se, or why I even come here at all.”

“Tell me, do you remember that your aunty Pie was once the bearer of an Element of Harmony?” She spread her forehooves out as she sat on the table, making a grand gesture. “The magic that they come from made this place. A personal paradise outside of heaven for those who personify an element. Their own bastion of solitude if you will.”

“So I personify an element and this place is mine?” It would explain why I’ve had this feeling like I could stay here forever. Pinkie snickered at my question.

“Not quite. This place was made for ME. You being family though is why you feel the longing for it deep down inside you. Us Pies are fairly simple ponies, and this place has everything we would want.” She put her hooves down and tapped on the table for me to come to her. I walked over and took a seat on the bench, stretching out as well as an enormous sense of relaxation overcame me. “I have been using it as a vacation home from the afterlife. Even the grandmaster of parties needs some time to herself now and again. I can see even you’ve found the merits of a little downtime here.”

“So, if it was made for you, how come ponies like me can come here? Or why is it that Isaac was here?” Normally I would say because Pinkie Pie, but she said this was different and without that clause, my curiosity just can’t let it be.

“Anypony who has our gift can come here when they die, but ponies whose souls are at rest or weakened from injuries can be brought here as well. That’s why I haven’t brought you when you were awake.” She let out another yawn and raised her hoof to the sky, twisting it counter clockwise and lifting the sun back up into the sky. With the amber light of sunset gone, I felt more relaxed, but no longer tired. “It’s super easy, all you have to do is reel them in! Which reminds me, I’ve got a pony to retrieve here soon, so we’re going to have to wrap this up.”

“Wait, how do you even…?” I should have expected it, but she cut me off mid question.

“Fishing pole!” She leaned forward and ran her hoof along the underside of the table, retrieving a flashy silver and red metal fishing rod.

“Of course it is.” I deadpanned and facehooved. “You know, you still didn’t answer my original question. What did you mean that I would return?”

“What? But I did answer it!” She looked to me with a confused look before her ears perked. “Did I start speaking in emotes again? I hate when I lapse into that language, it’s not nearly as fun as I thought it would be. Speaking in confetti on the other hoof...”

“No, you spoke fine, I just don’t understand.” My headache returned with a vengeance and I suddenly wished that she could turn the sun back to it’s relaxing position. “You said this was my last visit. Is it, or is it not?”

“Metal? What was I thinking! That will never hold up to somepony her size!” She tossed the metal rod over her shoulder and rummaged around under the table again, this time pulling a simple looking bamboo rod out clenched in her fetlock. “I meant what I said, it is your last visit.” She looked up to me with a soft smile. “Everypony dies someday Backlash, even great great great great great grandsons. But my home is your home, mi casa es su casa. When you return, you may use this space however you please.”

“Then you have to know when… how! I don’t care that you lied to me about knowing the future, but you know how this is going to play out. I can’t beat 42 without your help, Pinkie. How..” I was silenced as she shoved her hoof in my muzzle.

“Ah-ah! Spoilers.” She giggled and stuck her tongue out at me. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to send you back, your friend is a pretty big gal, and she needs to be here to help plan the party, so I need to get lifting before I see you a few minutes from now! Well, past you in any case.”

I blinked as the gears shoved the mention of Harmony a few weeks ago back to the forefront of my mind. I wanted to tell her to wait, to let me see her again. I know what I said last time, but I could keep the promise now. Six months would be worth it just to see her again, but as she took her hoof and bopped my muzzle, the only thing that came out of it was a scream as my chest erupted in pain and I once again fell into the darkness between worlds.

The first thing that greeted me when I awoke was the feeling of warmth. The crackling of a small fire nearby must have been the source of the heat, while the world around me seemed deathly quiet otherwise. As I opened my eye, I was met with the flickering interior of some old world building, the cracking posters urging me to join the equestrian navy gave me a good hint at what this place was once used for. As good as it felt to be near a fire, it was dieing and I had to get back to the others.

Moving myself, I found was a bit more annoying that I’d thought it would be as my chest erupted in pain, making me grind my teeth as I looked down. The skin across my chest and belly was completely stripped off, and the bloody muscle had been bandaged with discolored bandages that matched the coloration of the ones that were wrapped around my leg. Mercifully, I found that I was still wearing my saddlebags, and the quick fear that whoever had saved me was going to keep me prisoner, died out. Instantly my mind was filled with questions, and the gears in my head simply couldn’t keep up as a headache came in the form of a pinching sensation in the base of my skull. Had somepony rescued me from the water? How was I injured? Did the others at least succeed in stopping 42?

The soft notes of a song came from outside, increasing steadily as I tweaked my good ear to hear the voice better. I turned my head to the rotten wood door that lead out of the room as the gears in my head ground to a halt at the same moment the pain in my head moved to my eye. No, it wasn’t just somepony outside. That was the same voice I had just gotten back from listening to, only it was missing every ounce of innocence in it’s joyous tune.

“I can’t decide whether you should live or die…” 42’s singing was getting closer to me, sounding as if she hadn’t a care in the damn world. “Oh you’ll probably go to heaven, please don’t hang your head and cry…” The door flung open as I scrambled through the pain to get to my hooves and found myself lungeing for the closest object I could use as a weapon.

“I knew it was you, 42!” I raised the rusty sheet metal stool I now had grasped in my fetlock, backing away from her as she deadpanned at me. She was balanced on her rear hooves as she held a pile of dry, but dingy looking wood scraps.

“Yeah, of course it’s me, how incredibly observant you are.” She took a few steps forward as she spoke, dumping the wood into the fire. “If you’re wondering about your chest, you can thank the oxygen tank that was frozen to it. It was a bitch to rip off, but it made you so much easier to carry.”

That made sense, and I probably should have known that was the case. Isaac told me about the tank, and the freezing effect is just basic science. The really odd thing about all this was that I wasn’t quite expecting this kind of casualness to 42. She’s always seemed like she doesn’t care about things, but this was almost… normal behaviour. Still, this was a chance to end this, even if I got myself killed trying to beat her to death with a rusty hoofstool, there was still a chance.

“Aw, put that thing down, Backlash, we both know what’s going to happen.” She rolled her eyes and finally fell back onto all fours. I couldn’t help but stop from going forward with my horribly thought out plan, my brain urging me to listen this time to see if it really was as bad of an idea as I thought it would be. “You’ll try to attack me, I’ll dodge and run away probably yelling something like ‘Bring me the pond, Backlash!’, and then we won’t see each other again for about a week.” I lowered the stool as she inspected her hoof with disinterest and droned on monotonously. “Then we’ll do the same thing all over again. Is that really what you want?”

“I just find it hard to believe that you aren’t trying to kill me, and infact saved my life when I would have frozen out there.” I dropped the stool, but the muscles in my legs didn’t relax, winding themselves tighter the longer I looked at her. “I doubt it was just so you could strike up a friendly dialogue with the pony who hates you the most.”

She faked a shocked expression, complete with a gasp. “How could you think that? We’re family, you and I, and family cares for each other.” She dropped the act and now wore a sly smile. “Oh Backlash, you know me to well. You see, the real reason is it’s nearly hearths warming eve and I’m just so caught up in the spirit of it all! Now, I don’t know how you do it in the wasteland nowadays, but gift exchanges are a pretty big thing with the holiday. I gave you your life, and in return, I want you to get something for me.”

I opened my muzzle to object, but she shot me a glare that froze my body still.

“No no, let me finish.” She sat down by the fire, shifting her eyes onto the crackling flames. “As you already know by now, I’ve got some friends over at the Red Wing mine. They’ve probably busted down the walls and taken the town as I asked.” She looked up to me with nothing but happiness coursing through her as she spoke, her eyes betraying the amount of pleasure she took in flaunting her actions over me. “I asked them to take as many of the residents there alive as they could, but I’m sure they might deviate from my orders and torture a few of them to death before you arrive.”

“Why the fuck are you telling me this?” I slowly placed myself across the fire from her, wincing as my chest burned in the warm air. This was my only move now, my mind told me that sitting down and listening was my best option of survival. If Skyline saw me fall, then she’ll have to be out looking for me. Well, I hope she was. All I can do is try to keep 42 engaged to buy some time for anypony to find us.

“You know you really are damn impatient! I’m getting to that part.” She scoffed and feigned offense before returning her gaze to the fire. “As of now, it’s two days until Hearths Warming eve. You have until then to retrieve my gift.”

“We have the only part you need to make the machine work, and only I know the location to the pond.” I had no idea if Longbow actually made it to the part, but the guess was forced by me wondering if 42 was really becoming impatient with me. If I can keep up the pressure on her, sooner or later she’ll slip up in her anger, but only if I work her over with my antagonistic side. “Why the fuck would I play any more of your games? I won, and you lost. Two days from now I’ll have destroyed the pond, and your future goes with it.”

Her muzzle twitched in irritation as she listened to me, her mane drooping until it lay flat before she stomped her hoof down and let out a growl. “I grow tired of your refusal to cooperate. After midnight strikes that day, I won’t bother you with the games anymore, it will be all business. Let me be the first to tell you that you haven’t even seen a fraction of what I am capable of.”

“And what do I care?” I laughed at her, watching as her face turned brighter than the fire separating us. “You’ve killed so many already, true, but with the entirety of the wasteland after you, how long do you think you can last?” This sort of threat worked on Sorbet, maybe it could work on 42!

Her ears perked and she adopted a calm smile. “Because I know of your kind. I know the way you ‘heroes’ think.” She stood up and waved her hoof at me. “Forget the deadline, that’s future Backlash’s problem. What you need to focus on is the now.” She shook her head in a notion of disappointment. “I really didn’t think I needed to threaten anypony else, but don’t you forget I also have two days to take what you care for the most. I hate to stoop so low as to have to tell you what fun I’ll have if you don’t get me what I want… no wait, I don’t hate to say it!” She threw her head back in a maniacal cackle.

“Enough! I get it.” I know what’s at stake, and if only my damn pipbuck was working, I could fucking end her right here and now. But she was right that I didn’t want to see this end in a blood bath, enough had lost their lives due to my actions. “You’ll get your gift, but you still haven’t told me where to meet you.”

“Oh, of course! How silly of me to have forgotten.” She tapped herself on the head a few times. “I’ll be waiting at home, which you know where that is, right? When you get to the orchard, I’ll make sure my fun loving friends don’t harm you… provided of course you have my present.” She whipped herself around to face the door and tilted her head back to let the mane fall from in front of her eye. The look she gave me was full of loathing and anger, but the smile across her muzzle was sadistic and filled me with no small amount of fear. “One last thing before I go, besides your life I got you another two gifts. If you’re a good pony and bring me what I wanted, you can have one of them. I know you’ll love it, and even though I hate to spoil the surprise, it’s that one on one fight you’ve been craving. No tricks, no traps, just you and me to the death.”

“Then I will see you in two days.” The gears in my head spun as they tried to formulate a plan for then, but the click from the door latch pushed them to the back of my head. As she opened the door, I quickly shoved my hoof into my saddlebag, digging around until I felt the boxy form of Heartstopper. Drawing it out as she walked into the cold night air, I chomped down on the bit and prayed that I could kill her here and now, and potentially saving the lives of those at Red Wing. The disappointing click that came from it could probably be heard all the way out at Friendship city, though I should have known that she would go through my guns and unload them. The only sound that filled the night air came from 42.

“Bring me the pond, Backlash!” Her words echoing through the still ruins of the city, dropping off into silence as the quiet stillness of the night took over again. I spit Heartstopper out onto the floor and hung my head.

I let out a deep sigh. “Fuck.”

It was snowing lightly in the city, and in the short time that I had been recovering with 42, there was already a light dusting over every inch of rubble. Even through the tight wrapping, my chest burned in the frozen air as I focused myself to keep my thoughts from turning to head back to the fire, needing to press on towards finding the others again. I had forty eight hours to solve the question of how to kill the most untouchable mare in the wasteland, when I haven’t been able to do it in the last four weeks. Maybe… maybe I can’t. My mistake might lie in the thought that I assumed that since it was my fault, I need to be the one taking charge to fix it. All my plans, all the attempts I’ve made as the one spearheading the attack on 42 have ended badly. Maybe I should just sit this last fight out and let my friends finish what I started.

“Backlash!” my ears perked as a voice came across the cold night air. “Backlash, Please just answer me!” Skyline’s hoarse voice resonated between the ruins in the dark streets, the futility she projected stunned me with just how little she believed I could have made it. “Please… don’t leave me.” Her wings fluttered from just up the street as I heard her hooves crunch into the snow. “You… you can’t be gone.”

I raised my hoof to call out, stopping myself as the gears in my head pushed out a thought. If they believe me dead, then I can’t get in the way anymore. Somepony who can strategize better than I, or can fight better than I should take over. How was it that I was arrogant enough that thought I could take on somepony like 42 and stop them easily? How could I be so blind that I thought I could even out think her? Yes, the bridge attack was Longbow’s plan, but it was my fight, and I should have seen that setup coming. My thoughts trailed off as a soft whimper filled my ears, the soft crying that came from up the street made my chest burn deep past the injuries, as my heart ached worse than any physical pain I’ve ever endured.

“S...sky?” My muzzle struggled to open as my lungs fought to get a whimper past my lips. I knew that in her knowing I was still alive, I could only cause her more pain, but I couldn’t stand how much she was in now. “Sky, I’m here.” She needed me, and I needed her.

The whimpering stopped as my voice was carried through the air, the crunch that the snow gave when I put my hoof down drew a small gasp from her. I perked my ear up and squinted through the darkness as I listened for any sign of her movement. A loud zap filled the air as a spark shot from my pipbuck, the old prewar device whirred to life around my hoof and lit up the street in a soft pink glow. From the street corner, I could see the pink tinged red coat of Sky sitting next to a rusted out skybus stop, her teary eyes reflected every ounce of pain and anguish she felt.

My legs moved on their own, putting my straight to a trot, and then into a run straight for her, my mind’s one thought was that I needed to hold her close and to never let go of her again. She too found the strength to get to her hooves, forgetting her wings as she cried out and ran towards me. The two of us locked our legs and skid to a stop just before throwing our forehooves around one another. I felt the warm trickles of her tears run down my neck as my own ran onto her, the warmth she gave off far outweighed the pain my injured chest was giving me.

“It’s alright sis, I’m here for you.” I ran my hoof through her mane as she sniffled and squeezed me tighter.

“I lost track of time in the tower, then had to go around a flurry to the east that I would have missed if I left on time, but it made me late in getting back...” She was doing her best not to break down between breaths and I could feel her whole body trembling as yet again I sat here useless to help, only offering the warmth of my hold as I was just glad to see her again. “Then I saw the fighting on the bridge, and then you fell and I couldn’t find you in the water...” She whined and buried her muzzle hard into my neck as I closed my eyes and tried my best to keep her close. “I… couldn’t save you like you saved me… I thought I had lost my brother...”

“I’m sorry Sky. I should have convinced the rangers to wait for you.” No, it… wasn’t their fault. I gave the ok to go on with the plan, so it is my responsibility. “It’s all my fault.”

“NO!” She squeezed me tighter, sending bolts of pain through my ribs. “I don’t care anymore! Not as long as you are still here, that’s all that matters.” She pushed herself back so she could look me in the eyes. “You remember what I said outside Sorbets bunker? You are the only thing keeping me going, and I’d rather see Forty Two win than have you gone. I… I can’t function alone, Backlash.”

“As much as it hurts to hear, you’re going to have to.” With so little time left to prepare, I had to put Sky’s mind at ease before we went to Red Wing. She needs to be alright with the idea that I am dying, and that can’t cause her to lock up in the midst of combat. “Be it two days from now, six months, or six years, the simple fact is I’m not going to last, Skyline.” Her eyes widened as I spoke, the suffering she felt only intensifying. “You’ve got Carlotta and you’ve got Pallet Jack to look after. I know it’s going to be rough, and I’ll fight to hang on as long as I can, but eventually I will leave you.” The aching in my heart returned now that I had utterly crushed my sisters hopes, feeling as cold as the snow on my coat did.

“I… I don’t want to think about that.” She slid away from me, keeping her vision pinned to the snowy ground. “Come on, the others should be waiting at the marauder over this way.”

I could hear the notes of sadness, the notes of loneliness that she envisioned her life would hold without me. As I trot after her through the darkened city with nothing but the pink shadows that the pipbuck cast, and the crunching of snow under our hooves, I couldn’t keep my mind from wandering. Maybe when I finally died, I could have Pinkie teach me how to use that fishing pole, and I could Bring up Sky as she slept one night. At the same time, I don’t know if that would be allowed or not, or even helpful considering I just told her she needed to be okay with losing me.

All I know, is that I’m a fucking moron when it comes to everything.

In the time my mind wandered, we had crossed a few blocks of the silent city, and some of the silhouettes started to look more familiar to me. We rounded the corner we were on and I nearly lost my hoofing as I now looked out over the harbor. The Bucklyn bridge was a ways off across the water, the stoic structure no longer resembling the form it once had. The truss where 42 had holed up was shining brightly as large fires still poured from it’s rusted out walls, looking more like a forboding fortress island than a bridge that was built to connect the ponies who once lived here.

As we walked, my eye burned as the thought of something 42 would say popped into my mind, sure she would remark that ‘it is the perfect headstone to symbolize the death of the wasteland as we knew it’. I rubbed my eye and continued forward, my good ear perking as I heard the loud voices of both Maple and Doppler as they spoke through their helmets. Sky and I turned onto the boardwalk drive to find a glowing barrel sitting next to the Marauder, the fire inside making my body want to gallop towards it and jump right in.

Longbow flinched as our hooves crunched, pulling her attention to us while she wheeled around and leveled her rifles at us before freezing stiff. Maple’s voice cut out and Doppler turned herself to look at us as well. Seeing that she was alright left me feeling off balance. I hadn’t worried about her so much, seeing as her team was most likely going to be the safest, but the worry I had hit me all at once before it evaporated.

“So, you happened to survive the fall after all. A pity I can’t say the same for the eight paladins we lost...” Maple shot his words at me, doing his best to make them sink deep before they latched onto the other souls that weighed me down. “or the five acolytes that died in the firefight.”

“Shut your fucking muzzle Maple, and be glad Forty Two didn’t stick around long enough to make you eat your own tongue.” Longbow rounded on him with a ferocity I hadn’t been ready for.

“That mare is nothing more than a pink nuisance with a tacticians mind.” His smugness coaxed a growl from both Sky and I while Longbow’s helmet came off with a hiss. “Why, it’s plainly obvious that she fled because she saw two things. That Backlash here had been taken down, and that her defeat at the hooves of the Rangers was inevitable.” He was so damn sure of himself, but he couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Goddesses Maple, do you even listen to yourself speak?” Longbow rolled her eyes and trotted over to us, hugging Sky quickly before pulling me into a tight hug. I whined softly as the cold plates on her suit chilled my wet bandages, illiciting a quick shiver from me. “Are you alright? When Maple radioed that you fell, I… I almost lost it. How did you even make it back?”

“I’m fine.” I was far from it, having had the worst day of my life since yesterday, but that seemed to be the trend the last month had been following. “Actually, Isaac saw me fall in. He dove in with an oxygen tank and saved me.” I paused for a moment, thinking that I wanted to blame myself for his death, but I couldn’t anymore. He told me that he was happy now, and that was a good thing. “He... didn’t make it.”

“Oh, I see...” Longbow couldn’t hide the sorrow in her voice, and it only made me pull her tighter, finally releasing only after she gave me a quick nudge. We didn’t know him long, but he was both friendly and working to make the wastes a better place for others, and losing someone like that hurt the most.

“That’s not exactly all…” I took a step back as I knew that this was going to sound awkward no matter which way I phrased it. “42 was the one who found me in the water and saved my life.” Even in the dark, I could see the wave of disbelief roll over both Sky and Longbow’s faces.

“And she just… let you go?” Longbow spoke slowly as she immediately studied me with suspicion. Though this didn’t bother me in the least, were I in her horseshoes, I would have done the same. What did bother me was the fact that her words had a slight amount of hesitation to them.

“Did you try to kill her?” Skyline’s response was one that I expected from her, and the first I answered.

“Yes I tried. I tried to get Heartstopper before she got too far from me, but it was unloaded.” I let out a sigh. “And the only reason she let me go was because she made me an offer for one last chance to end her game. She’s given me the two days until hearths warming eve to bring the pond to Red Wing, or her game is over. She said after that, it’s all business, and I know she won’t stop with just exterminating all those who have fought against her.” I dropped my flank into the snow with a crunch, kicking at it with a forehoof. “We don’t have a choice if we want this to end. We have to go to Red Wing.”

“Well! I hate to rain, or rather snow on your parade there, but Doppler just recieved our new orders directly from Elder Strudel herself.” The smug attitude that I had assumed Maple was going to keep in check, returned. With it, came all the parts of his voice that pissed me off and made my skin crawl at the same time. “The orders state that paladins who are holding the bridge are to stay and ready it to become the new delta base, but our squad has been ordered back to Alpha. She believes that whatever the outcome of your fight is, it is better that the Rangers keep their muzzles out of it.” So that’s all Strudel was going to do? Crawl back into her hole and hide until it was all over? “Longbow, you’ve got new orders and have been reassigned to my unit. I’m sorry, but you are going to have to come back with us.”

Longbow’s face twisted in anger. “By now Manila should have been debriefed. Elder Strudel should know that it won’t do any good to hold ourselves back. We need…”

Maple raised his hoof into the air to silence her and shook his head with a smile that I wanted to wipe from his face. “That may be true, but the Elder has made up her mind. Gather your things, say your goodbyes, and get ready to head out, we leave in ten.” He turned away for a moment, before looking back. “Oh, and we’ve been assigned to the Nautilus. Might want to make your goodbyes to your primitive trash count. Deployment lasts nine months.”

The anger in Longbow rose as she ground her teeth, only stopping when I put my hoof on her shoulder. “Go with them.” I wanted her by my side, but I wasn’t going to fight against the Rangers on this. “I don’t want you anywhere near 42, and I need to know you are safe.” I brushed a strand of her mane from her face, getting a pained look from her. “I need for at least one of us to make it out of the fight alive.” My words didn’t have the impact I had wanted as the anger in her eyes hardened, the gaze she gave me feeling like it had latched onto my very soul.

“No, you shut your muzzle and stay out of this. I’m not going to waste my time sitting in that base while you die, not when I can still help you fight her.” Her horn glowed softly as a quick set of clicks came from her chest, the heavy plate that covered it lifted away in her magic as she pushed her muzzle into mine. “Don’t you dare tell me I can’t, not after every other plan has failed, not after you’ve nearly died more times than I could count. WE are going all in this time, and I’m going to be right there with all of you when Forty Two goes down.” Even in the dim lighting of the fire, I could see the scarring of her repeated exposure to my blood across her body, the thought of how much I’ve hurt her burned in my mind.

Maple clapped his metal encased hooves together sarcastically as Longbow pulled piece after piece off of her. “Such a moving notion, even if it’s toward the failure that killed my son.” He sneered as I could hear Skyline tense up at his remark, all traces of friendliness gone from him. He had turned into another Silver Star, so scarred by my actions that I had left him transformed into the beginnings of a monster. “But you can’t just ignore your orders. You realize that by refusing, I have to detain you until a formal hearing and court martial can be performed.”

Longbow wheeled about on her rear hooves, stomping furiously up to Maple. “You of all ponies should be the one to quote me the rules after all the shit I was forced to ignore in trying to keep your relationship with Paper Clip a secret.” He flinched as her remark cut deep. “You want to go back to her? Fine, you can tell the Elder that as the most qualified pony to do so, I’ve given the trial to myself and judged that my punishment is exile. I’m done with having to choose between following the orders of corrupt, scared, or ignorant ponies too concerned with themselves to see past their own quivering muzzles.”

The last sections of Longbow’s power armor snapped back together as she levitated the full suit over and onto the back of a surprised Doppler. She prodded at Maples chest as his smirk dropped into a stern grimace.

“You know what? Consider our friendship over. I’m sorry for even thinking what Backlash said back at the base was wrong.” Longbow closed her eyes as a smile parted her lips with a light laugh. “Brass really is twice…”

Maples forehoof was a blur as it struck Longbow, sending her to the ground as I all but lost it. I tensed up and bolted at Maple, charging straight at him like a fool and was rewarded with a power armored hoof to my chest that drove the air from my lungs. I was tossed aside next to Longbow as she groaned on the ground, reaching out for her as I tried to force my lungs to work again. Skyline dropped down between us defensively, placing herself between us and Maple.

“I was going to convince them to go lenient on you, Longbow, but if you want to spend the rest of your pathetic life with these savages, then I’ll see to it you never set foot in another Ranger camp again.” His words came out softly over the gasp I made when I could finally breathe again. “Consider yourself marked black on our roster, and remember that you wanted to be exiled.” He turned to Doppler and gave a small grunt. “Come on, lets get going.”

“Marked black?” Skyline turned and leaned near Longbow, helping her get back to her hooves. Longbow wiped away the blood that ran down her muzzle, looking down to me with a clear look of shame in her eyes. In that moment, I knew what it meant from that look, and that Brass had once shared it.

“She’s not just labeled an outcast, but a traitor.” I groaned and picked myself up from the snow, my chest giving me no relief from the cold. “I’m sorry about your family Longbow, Sky and I here for you. I’ve considered you family for some time now, and I want you to stay with us.”

“I don’t need them.” She shook her head. “WE don’t need them. I don’t know how we’ll do it, but we will find a way to stop Forty Two on our own.” She slowly made her way toward the Marauder, smiling as Skyline fluttered over and opened the door for her. She waited until Longbow was settled in the seat before shutting the door and dropping herself into the back seat through the window, popping her head out as the wind picked up and the fire in the barrel died down.

“I know I said I’d never ride in here, Backlash, but no more splitting up.” She gave a smile as I walked slowly toward the car, taking in the last bit of heat the barrel fire gave off before quickly making my way to the driver side door. “We don’t leave each others sight anymore, not until this is over.”

“Sounds good to me.” I heard the warmth in my own words, feeling conflicted as I knew it put them in the most danger it possibly could. But with the Rangers abandoning us, this was the only choice we had, only needing to head to Tenpony for Carlotta, assuming she was in good enough shape to go with us. Even I know that no matter what Dr. Fitz says, I’m sure she’ll insist that she’ll be fine, and is predictable through my knowledge of the legendary Griffin stubbornness shes shown off before.

The engine of the Maruader roared to life, and it’s one still working headlamp banished the darkness from in front of us. I shifted the gearbox into drive and slowly made my way off the boardwalk and onto the main road towards home. Once I grab a few things from there, it’s over to Tenpony for Carlotta, and off to my final fight with 42. Win or lose, she’s not getting the containers to the pool, having to resort to prying the information from my soul after I die.

“I emptied your fridge.” Longbow called down from the kitchen as I dug through all the assorted junk I had lining the shelves in the garage. I tossed any sort of scrap that I thought might be useful in a repair fashion for any weapon I could think of, or anything that had a decent value in caps, as I could sell some of it when we got to Tenpony. The thing is I don’t even know when had I accumulated this much stuff that didn’t fit into either category, but unhindered, I moved on, dropping a decent looking solenoid into the overfilled box at my hooves.

“Congratulations Backlash, the backseat is the new Trunk.” Skyline grunted out as she struggled to fly the filled box to the car. “If we’re going to give up everything, then your tool chest is going to be the only thing that can fit on the back.” She hoisted the box of components up to the back seat, setting it down on the forward edge without thinking. The box tipped forward the moment her hooves left it, spilling the fragile assorted components onto the floor of the Marauder. She gave out a sigh and put her hooves to her head. “Sorry, my head’s just not all here tonight. I mean Longbow is more composed than I am, and she was just exiled.”

“Sky, I know it’s been hard, but we have to do this.” Though, I agreed that Longbow was too composed. She hadn’t spoken more than a sentence or two at a time, and even then, I could hear how much she hurt through those words. She told me that on base, everypony was family, and she was dead to them now. I want to tell her it will be alright, that I know how she feels, and even though I know the pain of losing a family member, it’s not the same. If… if only Brass was still here to help her through it, he would know how it felt.

No, I can’t get lost in the regret for Brass. I love longbow, and I need to be there for her now, even if I’m not the most qualified to do so. I turned from the workbench to walk over, accidentally knocking the cracked body of the party cannon in front of me, and sighing in annoyance as it slid a foot before coming to a rest. I walked over and held my hoof out to it, feeling the familiar suction of it against my leg while I thought about how I really wanted to use it to kill 42, and for a split second, the durability of it in my pipbuck augmented vision flickered before dieing out again.

I shook the cannon for a moment, trying to make the pipbuck recognize it again, but to no avail. Setting it down again, I quickly made my way up into the kitchen to find that Longbow had neatly stacked everything into piles. Her magic stretched a line of old painters tape over a cardboard box as she stared distantly at the floor. I wasn’t even sure if she knew I had come upstairs, and seemed so lost in thought, I was afraid I would startle her.

“Are you done with your tools?” She spoke softly as her levitation set the roll of tape back onto the counter. “I can help with anything else, you just have to…” I didn’t let her get that far, walking forward and nuzzling into her neck as I pressed into her, wanting to feel her breakdown and hug me. Only, she didn’t, instead she sat there in silence, as distant as she could be.

“Longbow… you’re with us now. You, Sky, Carlotta, we are all family.” I took a step back and gave her some space. “Who cares what Maple thinks, we tried…”

“It’s my fault.” Longbow whispered, silencing my words as she seemed to radiate despair. “I broke my oath and left.” Disgust crept across her muzzle as she spoke, the mirth she used about her own actions was unbelievable, and in a turn of events, I got to see exactly how I’ve looked and sounded over these last two months. “I’m a…” I held out my hoof and momentarily broke her concentration.

“Don’t you say it.” I growled, the gears in my head throwing words through my muzzle that just felt right. “You have no right to call yourself a monster. Not now, not ever when you chose what you knew to be the right choice.” I put my hoof on her chest, watching as she looked like she was trying to ignore what I was saying. “Longbow, if you are a monster for speaking from here, then what hope is there for any of us? I have tried so very hard to speak truthfully my heart, but somehow I can’t seem to find a way to do it without screwing it up.”

“BACKLASH.” Skyline’s voice came up the stairway like thunder, angrily filling the room as she bolt in like lightning, my saddlebag hanging from her hooves. “Dash? Are you fucking kidding me? I thought we fucking settled this before until I found these poking out of your saddlebag.” She turned my bag upside down, letting the small red vials clink onto the kitchen floor as Longbow finally looked up to me.

“I’m not a fucking addict, it was for the fight in the bridge.” I facehooved hard, as this was the last thing I needed today.

“Well I’m sorry that I don’t fucking believe you.” She snorted as she threw my saddlebag against the wall in anger. “Longbow, use that fucking spell of yours and check if he’s lying.” Sky snapped her wings shut and dropped to the floor with a thump, planting herself firmly in front of the garage stairway. “We aren’t going anywhere until I know the truth.”

“You speak of honesty, Backlash? Then prove it.” Longbow’s horn emit a soft glow as she pushed it toward me slowly. I was pulled into my own mind, watching through my own eyes as the last few hours of my life rewound in front of me, slowing down with the vision of the Friendship city marketplace coming into clear view. As time switched to forward again, I could hear myself speaking to Miss Leek as I eyed the red vials before me, along with her slow responses before I threw the caps at her and bolted. I expected that I would leave the memory, but I could hear Longbow speaking to Skyline instead. “He’s telling the truth Sky, he hasn’t used them since he… Stole them!? Are you kidding?”

“It’s not like I didn’t want to pay for them, and honestly, being short on caps is not the worst thing I’ve lied about.” The gears in my head ground to a halt as my memory froze up, kicking into reverse. I really shouldn’t have just kept my muzzle shut, but instead, I had just brought Longbow in to search for the things I didn’t want anypony to know. Unfortunately, that started most recently with the conversation with Skyline outside of the restaurant at Tenpony. I sat in frozen horror as she watched it play out until Skyline broke down, a bright light pushing me back into control of my body.

“How could you… you said it…” Longbow wore a look of shock and horror that I was sure only somepony like 42 could cause ponies to wear. “Liar.” She whispered and took off in tears, barreling past a surprised Skyline and down the stairs to the garage, disappearing out the door with a slam and off into the cold night.

“I don’t care if you think it’s justified.” Skyline made a quick recovery, prodding me hard in the chest with her hoof. “I want you to dump that shit, now, where I can see you do it.” She snarled and kicked one of the vials across the room. “You can find something else to help you fight.”

“There isn’t time anymore. Red Wing is under siege, and I know 42 is going to find a way to run the machine.” I would not give in if there was any chance that the vials could help me win. “Even if it meant I was shunned as an addict by my family, if my useing it can save even one more life than I otherwise could, doesn’t that make it worth it in the end?”

“I know why you think you’re right, but you know what this stuff can do to a pony.” Sky began to relax, the anger in her voice bleeding away to only leave the harsh disappointment she felt. “You don’t need it Backlash, not as long that as we are all with you. I’m sick of having to worry like this anymore. I just want to know that after this, you are done.”

I nodded softly. “I promise. After this is over, no more drugs.”

“Not just the drugs Backlash, but with running around and trying to help ponies.” She sighed and hung her head. “I want everything to go back to the way it was, and if you only have so long to live, I don’t want to lose any more time with you than I already have.” She turned herself around, slowly drifting down toward the garage. “Between nearly losing both you and Carlotta, I just want this all to be over.”

The gears in my head spun out images that reminded me of the bunker that this all started at. ““When this is over, none of us are ever working again.” Sky looked back confused, but hopeful. “The bunker this all started in has enough stock that we can afford to pay the bills with minimal effort.” Which will mean nothing to me unless Longbow is here with me. “Look, keep packing. I’m… I’m going to go see if I can undo the damage I’ve caused.”

Skyline simply nodded and waited until I got to the bottom of the stairs before she drifted back into the garage. I trotted to the old door and pulled the handle, starting to shiver almost as soon as the door was even halfway open. The snow had begun piling up, and had risen to be fetlock high in just the short time we had been at the garage, but it looked to be that the weather was starting to let up slightly.

“Longbow!” It wasn’t hard to get my voice to cut over the light wind that flowed through the street, but it made listening for an answer difficult. I looked around for any telltale signs in the snow, quickly spotting her hoofprints running up the street towards the old park. My heart sank as I knew why she went there, and as much as I wanted to stay away from there until I brought down 42, I wanted Longbow back more. Forward I trudged through the snow, shivering as my heat was wicked away quickly, spotting the soft glow of light coming from further into the park as I got closer. I could hear her crying as I made my way to the gates, the soft crunching of the snow drawing her angry look from over her shoulder.

“I don’t want to be alone.” She tried to force spite into her words, to gaze at me with a hatred like she had reserved only for Sorbet, but she couldn’t find it.

“Longbow, I can’t leave the one mare I love like this.” I put my hoof on the rusty iron gate, pushing against it and shearing the old hinges right off. The metal door slammed down into the snow with a klang and sent a flurry of powder whipping into the air. The flakes hung over her as tiny glittering motes, shining her in the light of her magic like the stars around luna did. The gears in my mind made me realize that I had seen this moment before in a moment I now found to be nowhere near as stunning as this. The motes were in the same place as the stars around Luna the first time I saw her, and it wasn’t the moon that I had been admiring all my life, but the one mare I had been destined to meet all along.

In this one moment, the wonder of why I didn’t have the pinkie senses the others pie’s had was gone. Replaced with the fact that I now understand that I’ve had them my whole life, only showing up when they need to prepare me for what I know needs to happen. It was destiny that Sprocket and Harmony would be taken from me, these events having been written by the stars themselves, and as much as it hurt when they were taken, I can see that it was not my fault. One object here planted my destiny in my own hooves though, and as I looked past Longbow to the roughly carved lettering, I knew that Brass’s fate was something I could not pin on the stars.

“I miss him.” Longbow’s voice brought the world back to focus around me, her sad eyes having shifted too look at the tree with me. “I hardly knew him in my life, and yet I miss him more than I miss anypony else at that fucking base.” She gave a sorrowful laugh and got to her hooves. “Why couldn’t you just tell me when you found out? Did you think I would leave?”

“Because I’m scared you would stay.” This got a look of confusion to grow across her muzzle as I started to shiver. “You had a place with the rangers, and in six months, I might not be around. You were happy with them until tonight, and the thought of you alone scares the hell out of me.”

Longbow walked up to me, now returning the warm nuzzle I gave to her in the kitchen. I put my hooves around her, feeling as she did the same and we pulled ourselves close. The night wind howled and tried to pick away at our embrace, but to no avail, having little choice but to wait until we chose to separate. I’m not going to lie, I wished that I could stay in that moment forever, but time marches on, and the clock in my pipbuck flashed over to 4am. I pulled myself away from her, feeling as she resisted the thought of it as much as I wished I could, finally relenting as we both gave a quick shiver.

“Come on, let’s get some rest. It’s going to be a long drive tomorrow.” I gave Longbow’s horn a quick kiss before throwing a hoof around her back and walking over the fallen gate with her close against my side.

I prayed that the weather improved while we slept, seeing as it was going to be tough making it to Red Wing in the next two days at all, let alone going all the way out to Reference Point. Though, that was at least something 42 couldn’t plan for, and I couldn’t be more happy to tell her that I’d never give the location up anyway. As we walked inside, I shut and locked the door, doing one final check in with Skyline before we all decided it was time for bed. As I finally got off my hooves and lay down beside Longbow, I felt like I could relax completely, pulling myself close to her as I found myself lost in her warmth, and drifting away toward the fantastic realm of sleep.

Annoyingly, morning came soon as it felt like I had just fallen asleep when a thunderous booming came from the air. I shivered awake on my matress all alone, finding that the air in the garage had cooled and that my muscles were damned cold, giving me little hope that the weather had let up. The generator surprisingly hadn’t died as we slept, and was still softly purring away. As I opened my eyes, the light of day filtered through the window in the door, shifting ever so slightly as I looked at it, which was odd, because it almost looked vaguely pony shaped. There was another set of pounds at the door followed by an angry voice.

“Damnit, Backlash, let me the fuck in!” Twain yelled as I realized that I hadn’t had a chance to pay him for his work. I quickly pulled myself to my hooves, biting down on the deadbolt and twisting it open. He didn’t even wait for me to step out of the way before pushing his way inside, instead squishing me against the ice cold wall and the frozen door, taking his time to enjoy the warmer air of the garage before he let me out. “Thanks for that. Figured that if I was out there another minute, my boys out back would shrivel up completely and I’d change into a mare.” He laughed at his own joke and took in a deep breath, making me realize that the smell of food was in the air, and that something was being cooked upstairs. Maybe that’s why Longbow wasn’t next to me when I woke up.

I slid down to the floor as the door shut with a thunk, sprawling out as my head thumped from the whack the door handle gave it. “You’re welcome?” I got back up and turned around just in time for him to shake himself off, throwing gobs of half melted snow all over the marauder and I. The snow burned at my warm skin as if it was acid, prompting me to yelp and brush it off as quick as I could muster. “How the hell did you find this place?”

“Some pompous dick over at Tenpony is hiring anypony he can get his hooves on to help ‘the crusaders free Red Wing’. Spending a fortune on mercs is a good way to find more than a few who are actually looking for the ones all the fuss is about.” He looked over the Marauder, running his hoof along the front fender slowly. “Figure that at least this way I can get there in comfort AND do the job I was hired to do. Not to mention, you still owe me that key.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Was a bit busy falling off a bridge yesterday.” I trotted past him and toward the stairs, nodding for him to follow, which he did with a smile.

“Yeah! I saw you come down from there. That is the most radical thing that I think I’ve ever seen.” He whistled as if I were a mortar, making a splash noise as I reached the bottom. “You could use a little work on the landing though, definitely proved the concept of Earth Pony resilience, living through that.” I looked back at him as I stopped midway, giving him the best glare my eye socket could muster. “On second thought, I’m pretty sure you’ve proved that a few times by now.”

I reached the top and kicked open the door, hearing the sizzling of meat as the smell of what little radhog bacon we had left went to good use entered my nose. Skyline gave me a quick smile through the spatula in her muzzle while my ears picked up the clang from the bathroom that the shower always gave when it shut off. Unfortunately, it must have been a common sound, because as soon as Twain heard it, we both looked to the bottom of the bathroom door. Warm steam was wafting out from it as the thought of a hot shower made me tense up with need.

Then something unexpected happened.

“Ah, a sauna! Just what I need!” Before I could register what he had even said, Twain pushed open the door and stepped inside the steamy room. Skyline angrily tried to speak through the spatula to get my attention, but I couldn’t believe what had just happened. “Mornin to you too, fine flanks!” Twain's voice prompted the surprised squeak from longbow that emanated through the wall and was quickly followed by the heavy thump of a pony hitting the ground. A moment later, a very disturbed, wet looking Longbow emerged from the billowing steam wielding the ceramic top of the toilet above her in her magic.

She glared at Sky and I as her muzzle twitched in annoyance. “What. The. Hell.”

--------------

LEVEL UP!

+ 15 Barter

New Perk: Stair Master! - You have trained hard and perhaps had yourself a montage or two, but you have finally reached a new level of physical fitness! Your strength is now permanently increased by 1 and you can now travel twice as long without being winded.

Author's Notes:

Sorry for the absence of Authors notes as of late, but I've been super out of focus recently.

Thanks to Kkat, Somber, Mimezinga, No_One, Stonershy, John Colt, Hetnu, Xjuan, Sawyer, Vocal, Tinker, Bad Pun, Delvius, and a whole ton of others for their inspiration and support in the writing of this fic! I have so many of you supporting me, and I am trying my best to give you the last few chapters you deserve for the story! I can't tell you how much your support means to me, and I want you to all remember that you are always the best readers an author could ask for!