A series of low groans and metallic twangs filled the air as everything around me felt like it slowed down. The blood on my hooves made it hard to grip the asphalt while the world seemed to rotate away from me, stopping with a jolt that made me slide back. With all the strength I had left, I hooked my hoof around a jutting piece of rebar. It stopped my fall, but not that of the chunk of wire and steel that had somehow wrapped around my back leg. The fires from the battle raging only a few feet away whipped high into the cold night air, the smoke turning the grayish cloud cover to a deep black.

I looked up and prayed to Luna that my friends were alright. With a clenched jaw, I pulled hard on the rebar, sliding myself up the tilted roadway slightly. It allowed me the briefest moment to view the ongoing battle. The steel rangers guns poured fire into the two towers the raiders had holed up in, chipping away at the reinforced steel as fires blazed inside the upper levels of the complex. I smiled to myself as one of the hooded acolytes slipped one of the pink party rockets I had sold them into a launcher. He hoisted it up, and with a hiss, sent it square into the side of the makeshift bunker. When the smoke cleared, a balloon shaped hole sat punched neatly into the side of it.

At least I finally knew what they did. But why would the M.O.M. need to punch balloon shaped holes in buildings? I guess I should know, Pinkie Pie is the answer to every M.O.M. question...

The rebar let out a soft cry, bending slowly down. Right. Back to the fact that I was hanging off the end of a slowly disintegrating bridge. The weight of the steel wrapped onto my leg was getting to be too much for my hoof hold. I winced as I could feel the wire around my rear leg cutting deeper into my flesh. I spotted a red flash in the air, and for just a moment, I could see her. The Pegasus mare I had grown to call my sister was streaking towards me. If anyone could save me, it was her. I relaxed a bit, thinking of something sarcastic to say when she was pulling me back to solid ground. Stop for coffee? Too cliché. Should I buy you a map? Nah, not obvious enough. Ah-ha! I got it!

As I opened my muzzle, the rebar slipped free and threw me over the edge of the roadway. I could do nothing but watch as she screamed out to me, the meaning of her cry lost as the bridge above me grew smaller. The grey of the cloud covered sky was finally visible as what remained of the Bucklin bridge roadway tumbled along with me toward the frigid water below. Closing my eyes, I listened as everything seemed so still.

You know, they say when you are going to die, your life flashes before your eyes. But as I slammed into the water below and all sensation drifted away, I couldn't help but think that whoever told that to me, somehow lied to my face.

So, before I continue with the story, I guess I should explain to you, (whoever you are…) who I am, and why my journey was one of just a hoof full in my time that helped shape the wasteland. Let this be the record of my deeds, for better or for worse. If you are to understand my story, you'll need to know a bit about me.

My name is Backlash. I was born somewhere around ninety five years after the great war as an earth pony from the Hoofington area. There, I grew up in a small settlement near what was once the front lines of the Great war. My mother, brother, and I, lived in a small, one room shack on the edge of town. Like most who lived there in our community, we scavenged what we could from the decaying corpse of the old world. My father supposedly died before I was born, so it was pretty much just my brother and I taking care of our mother. When I was growing up, the raiders and slavers in our area were just coming out of the various gangs scattered amongst the wastes. They mostly avoided towns with nothing useful to offer, but always ran through once or twice a month to prove their might.

When my brother left to seek glory in one of the local gangs that roamed our lonely corner of the wastes, we lost half of our salvage earnings. Mom considered moving us back to the rock farm that her family came from, but we didn't have the caps to hire anyone to protect us, and she didn't want to lose me along the dangerous journey. So we stayed, getting by with what little we could scrape together.

After I got my cutie mark, things picked up. I could take the more dangerous salvage jobs in the minefields, as it was extremely dangerous work, but it paid enough that I could help to get us out of that town. We journeyed by wagon with a trader and his bodyguards up into the interior of Equestria. We were ambushed several times, and lost one of the bodyguards outright during one of the fights. The other, sadly died from an infected wound a few days later. It wasn't until the day after the second guard's death when we came across her.

She'd fallen like a bolt out of the sky, splashing down in a small lake near the trail we were on. Instinctively, I'd run in to grab her, feeling like i could have been one of the heroes in all the stories I had read in the comics we scavenged. The brave stallion, heroically saving the damsel in distress. Clumsily carrying her on my back, I'd barely made it back to shore with her before a radigator came charging out after us. My legs folded under me as I was racked with fear, but before I could call out, my mother leapt onto it with one of the dead guard’s machetes. She screamed for me to run, and I did just that. With the Pegasi mare on my back and the cart bouncing behind the trader, we galloped for what had felt like hours.

We'd set up camp at the rock farm that night to wait for her, but she never showed up. The trader suggested she most likely died protecting us, and that she was a good mare to have done that. I couldn't do anything but be torn by the thought that she was just gone because I foolishly ran into a dangerous situation without thinking of what might happen. Stricken with grief, and no real connection to the rock farm, I made the decision to ride with the Trader to Manehatten to seek help for the injured pegasi mare.

As she recovered, I learned a lot about the mare who fell from the sky. Turns out, Skyline came from somewhere over the border in Caledonia. She'd been injured running from her own family, because her parents were “Dashites” and the Enclave wanted her to be branded a traitor like them. She had left them at their request, and flown as far from them as possible. They'd wanted her to attempt to live a normal life somewhere else, and she'd flown for two days before exhaustion dumped her in front of us. Funny enough, I think the Enclave figured she'd died down here, because they never came looking again.

So, both of us, parentless and poor, decided to work for the trader. He for some reason never told us his name, only saying it didn't feel right and that it would be easier on us if something happened to him. So, it his insistence, we just got around to calling him “old man”, even without knowing what the hell it meant. We worked with him on a few of his trips, but he quickly saw my potential talent for bartering and put me to work with my own wagon. Selling wares on his behalf was something I'd turned out to be half decent at, but it was only half of the equation for success. As it turned out, Skyline was a damn fine shot with pretty much anything that fits on a battle saddle, and traveled with me as a bodyguard. Together, we made an unstoppable team.

After a few years, the old man fell ill and died. Before he went, (Celestia rest his soul) he said we had inherited his business and his building in the Manehattan outskirts. The Sunshine Garage was a bland looking three story red brick building, only about 20 feet wide, although marginally deeper. It was flanked on the sides and rear by the rubble of a few other collapsed buildings, making it look quite imposing, almost like a fort. That is, unless you count the open air third floor. Skyline just used that as a landing pad though, and with the lack of other fliers commonly around, it worked out well for the both of us. The plain look not only helped discourage other scavengers from peeking in, but also kept the random raiders from thinking it was occupied or even open.

Along with our home however, the Trader had left me a little something I have been working on for the past year inside the garage…

The peeling yellowing white paint on the walls looked off in the evening light as it streamed through the open garage door. The odd assortment of boxes, shelves, and random piles of scrap metal cast intricate shadows against the back wall. While nice if the evening light was your thing, mostly, it screwed up my vision. Even without the light, the inside the engine compartment of the large four wheeled vehicle that occupied most of the space on the first floor was hard to see in.

I had read through the owner’s manual so many times, that I'd memorized it. The Chrysalis Motor Company was one of the pioneers of the spark battery powered vehicle. They were apparently absurdly expensive at the time, but the Chrysalis Company promised that for the money, they would “turn it into anything you'd like”. Sports car, off road recreational vehicle, and even a campervan were offered as choices in the stained and yellowed pages of the pre-war booklet. The spots of rusting red offset the once all black bodywork of the pre-war muscle car marvel; and the only chrome left intact at all was the lettering that spelled out the model. The car was in surprisingly good condition for being left here until the old man found the place. Which reminded me of another thing written in the advertisement…

“The more you love your car, the longer it lasts!” I said out loud as I imagined it having been a catchy little pre-war jingle. With a sad sigh, I remembered how the Chrysalis Company went under when the skycart came out. Lost in thought, I'd misjudged my depth and dropped the wrench I was using into the dark compartment.

I leaned forward, reached past the engine, and wiggled my hoof around near the transmission. With a strained whine, I tightly grabbed the wrench that had slipped from my fetlock. The radio in the car had been blaring the same old pre-war tunes that they'd always played, but what I really wanted to hear was the news. DJ Pon3 always had good info on where to find the best tech to trade, and Celestia as my witness, I was going to be the richest damn trader when I got out of here! As soon as I'd fixed the Marauder, that is.

"HELLO THERE WASTELAND! It's me, you're good old friend DJ Pon3. And guess what! It's News time!"

I froze, not wanting to miss a single ounce of juicy Info. "Come on... something good this time..."

"To all you wondering about the situation in Ponyville, you can relax. The slave traders have left the settlement after Sheriff Easthoof took the help of a few of the angry townsfolk and literally threw them out. With those goons out of the picture, the twenty eight they had in their care have been freed and are now recovering. To the slavers now out on your flanks, I only have this to say to you; Good riddance."

Ok, that wasn't anything special. The wasteland sucks, I got that, but we all have to live here. Who cared how you made a couple of caps? Raiders and slavers were just a part of life, as common as rocks were in the wastes. Plus, the slavers only sold criminals and such, so they were in a way fixing some of the lawlessness. I tried not to think about that to much, as intellectual thinking had never been something I was good at.

"And Great news for those of us who live the Manehatten area!"

My ears perked with that. "Yes!" I whispered under my own breath. I needed a good tip, anything to get me started. As I thought, I clinched the wrench tighter in anticipation, leaning towards the speaker slowly.

"A new pre-war*KZZZZAPPP*

Electricity arced through the wrench as it hit the contact on the recessed spark battery starter. It sent painful stabs through my forehoof, and filled my nose with the stench of charred fetlock. I pouted to myself as the room fell silent the smell of singed fur filling the compartment to an almost unbearable level.

I sighed and pulled the wrench out, throwing it lazily to the side of the garage before leaning back in to grab the now dead spark battery I had to replace. Most ponies would think I'm crazy to be repairing this one hundred and twenty year old beautifully crafted hunk of steel, saying it would just be cheaper to hire one of those weird two headed cows. I have nothing against the brahman, being nice folk and all, but they just aren't the same as this! Ponies just don't get it. Not only does the Marauder go up to a hundred and ten miles an hour on a highway, it’s got a huge trunk for storing my trade goods. If that weren't enough, it can also seat seven ponies! SEVEN! I mean, back during the war, the sky car was all the rage, but-...

"Backlash!" An excited mare's voice came from out of nowhere behind me.

I screamed and jumped from the sudden voice. With a thunk, I slammed my head on the raised hood. It creaked as the block of wood holding it up fell off, and the whole hood dropped down on top of me quite painfully.

"Oh Celestia, are you alright?" The mare's voice giving a little giggle as she came over and helped prop the hood up again.

She was a bit smaller than most of the other pegasi that I had seen (which doesn't mean much when I've only seen like, two others up close really...) but she had saved my ass countless times out in the wastes. Her bright red coat seemed to bleed into the clouded sunset on the horizon behind her. Her cutie mark was a thin black line with a gold half circle in the center on top, and a silver half circle on the bottom. But only her yellow and white striped mane brought her to the front of it all, her shimmering gold eyes betraying the fact that she was yet again worried about something.

"What do you need, Skyline?" I shut the hood with a grunt and gave it a good whack with my hoof, trying to forget the disappointment of missing the broadcast. “I’m damn close to getting this old gal to work.”

"Are you?" She crossed her hooves in a huff. "You've been working so long on this piece of..." She caught my glare and nearly stuttered, but to her credit it wouldn't have been noticeable by other ponies. "What I meant to do, was ask why we just didn't fix up a sky cart? It would be much faster if we can fly over..."

I put my hoof up and shook my head. "And what happens if you get hurt? We’d lose the business! Before you'd know it, we'd be back in Paradise doing work for those new goodie four shoes dragging water all over the place. No scavenging or anything!" I shuddered just thinking about it. "Besides, if one of us was injured while in this, the other one can still drive!"

She stretched her wings out with a frown as she looked at the rust laden vehicle "Yeah, I'll never get in that thing, even if you ever do get this junk to run. I need to fly!" Well I'd hope she'd change her mind if it were to save my life, I'd thought with a small sigh.

Rolling my eyes, I'd packed up my tools into their respective places. "I keep telling you, Earth pony. You know, like hooves. stay. on. the. ground." I stamped my hoof with each word for emphasis before turning to grab a spark battery out of my box of spares. "Anyway, you wanted something badly enough that you snuck up on me?"

She just stood there for a moment, shifting her eyes wildly around the room. I watched as she scrunched up her muzzle in nervous hesitation. It was odd, I hadn't seen her like this recently. "So...our application for a storefront in Tenpony has been reviewed..."

I beamed the widest smile I've ever given at her, Squeezing her cheeks, nearly bowling her over as I pressed up against her face. "ohmygosh!" I spoke so fast all the words seemed to blend into one, "Did they say yes?" My hooves shook with anticipation.

She nodded slowly, giving me an obviously nervous grin, which of course I didn't pay attention too. My brain was too busy processing the fact that we had just gotten a store inside the hub of Manehatten trade! Our own store! More so, at the hardest place in the wastes to get a hoof into! No more bulk pawning outside the gates, we are going to make so many caps! I can only imagine I'd been salivating all over the floor when she'd poked at my chest sharply.

"But..." She continued while I froze. Celestia how I hated that word. "We need to show them some way we are better than any of the other applicants." She paused and rubbed at her chin. "And to be honest, I don't know what does set us apart. How are we any better?"

I tapped my hoof on the garage floor before jumping on the Marauder's hood, posing myself dramatically as the last bit of our meager wasteland sunlight dropped below the horizon.

"We have this."

We'd spent the rest of the night working on the car, and when I say we, of course I meant me. See, when I was a colt, I'd loved to take things apart. I could see and hear the tiny parts in pre-war gizmos that others couldn't. I would regularly sneak out of our settlement to the old battlefields around Hoofington and find something to take home and tinker with. Sometimes, I would find something completely useless, and somehow make it work again.

My eyes were growing heavy as the sun started to shine for the minute or so it did on the horizon before the cloud cover drained all life from the day again. Skyline had gone up to bed a few hours ago, and all I had to do was fit the spark battery controller to the mount in the engine compartment. Then, I'd be good to go for tomorrow... today... for later. With a click, it fit into it's mounting. I gave it a quick shake to make sure it sat right, only shutting the hood when I was satisfied with my work. With the Marauder completed, I sat on the floor yawning. Wobbly, I'd trotted over to the stiff mattress I normally slept on, and flopped over onto it, completely exhausted and ready for bed. Funny thing, was that I didn't even remember hitting it before everything faded to black.

With no cause to, I sat up suddenly. A cool breeze swirled around me, and I found myself somewhere I'd never seen before. I squinted at the sun as it climbed into the endless blue. Grassy knolls with a few trees seemed to stretch endlessly onward to the horizon. The tree next to me was blossoming pinkish white flowers, and I could see a bird's nest resting in one of the lower branches. Then, from all around me, a beckoning voice called out softly on the wind.

I got to my hooves and trotted happily towards it, taking in the warmth of the sun as the breeze guided me. It felt surprisingly good to have the grass under my hooves, although I wasn't really sure why. I'd pondered this while climbing over yet another knoll. Looking the other side, I 'd froze. Stuck out of the ground on the other side, was the rusted hulk of an artillery piece. It looked almost like one that I'd found as a colt. Moss had grown over it, and a single daisy grew at the top of the barrel. I trotted over and looked at it closely, I could clearly see each point where I had fixed it. It was definitely the same cannon from when I was young, but why was it here? Without warning, the gun fired. The bright contrail of a rainbow flew towards the horizon, and disappeared with a flash. The wind kicked up as the voice of the wind told me one final thing.

I woke from my slumber with a jolt. I was back in the garage, and staring up wide eyed into Skylines eyes. For some reason she was floating over my head and stifling a laugh.

"Good dream?" She was beginning to crack, giggling longer and louder as I sat there with a confused look on my face. Then I felt it, the cold air on my...yeah...

She burst out laughing. "Whoa, I didn't know you could turn my shade of red!" She collapsed onto the floor, gasping in between each laugh.

I got to my hooves and stormed off upstairs. Being around each other for so long, things like this weren't too embarrassing anymore. I'd seen her go through her heats, and she'd seen me pent up. It was just something siblings dealt with when growing up together. While it wasn't anything new for her to see, it didn't make me feel any less awkward to have my sister scoping out 'the goods'.

The second floor of our humble home, was little more than a kitchen and attached bathroom. Skyline didn't like sleeping on the ground floor, or in the rain on the third floor, so she had her bed up here tucked into a corner of the kitchen. The single bathroom we had wasn't big, but it had all the amenities, including heated running water. It was a bitch to set up with the generator, but was it so worth the effort. I went to the tub and turned on the shower, letting the lukewarm water run over me as I tried to remember what the breeze had said in my dream.

"Follow the...key?"

After a couple of minutes in it, I'd turned the shower off and shook out my coat. Looking into the mirror, I could see my tan hide had healed up over the last week. Minor bruises and scrapes are no laughing matters without health potions and being miles away from the nearest settlement. The gold half of my gold and brown mane had also recovered from the pilot light accident last month. Though, I wish I could have lost the bit of extra weight I carried around my everywhere. (I wasn't overweight, just husky. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!) Content all of me was where it was supposed to be, I trotted out and put yesterday’s dishes into the sink.

I opened the fridge and pulled out a sparkle cola, tapping the cap against the counter to pop it off into the bin of caps we kept out on the floor. (We put the rest in our safe in the basement whenever we got a good amount of them. Just in case you were wondering.) The carroty taste was always a good pick-me-up in the morning, and it immediately took my mind off Skylines normal antics. It also reminded me of our to-do list for the week, which was really the same as every week. Grab our gear, head out to some faraway place, scavenge along the way, trade our goods there, scavenge on the way back, pawn our stuff to Tenpony, and then head home.

"Tenpony..." I muttered right before I'd thrown the now empty bottle into the trash. With a vigor I hardly believed myself to have, I'd bolted down the stairs and slammed into a very surprised Skyline. "We're going to be late!" She shoved me back to my hooves and dusted herself off. Hastily, I jumped into the Marauder through the windowless door and flopped along the seat to get myself reoriented. With quick jabs at the big, red, engine start button, I impatiently waited for the whine of the main starter capacitor.

Nothing.

"Damnit! Why don't you start? I've fixed everything!" I thumped my head against the steering wheel. "Of all days, Celestia, why today!"

Skyline tapped my shoulder with a sly grin and trotted up to the front end of the car. I cringed as she reared up and bucked the front fender, the old metal giving a sharp squelch at the hit. The capacitors whined to life, right before the roar of the engine drowned it out. I probably could have picked my jaw up with a shovel as she sauntered over to the window and leaned in.

"She's stubborn, just like you. Just needs a good buck every now and again." She smiled and pulled her goggles down. "Now...show me what makes this bucket any better than any old cart."

I grinned and nodded. "First one to Tenpony?"

"You're on!" She flashed a smile and burst into a gallop, immediately taking off into the air once she cleared the garage. I punched the Marauder into drive and took off after her.

I grumbled as I pulled up in front of the large pre-war skyscraper. Skyline was waving triumphantly from inside the second floor window as she drank something. I could only guess it was Wild Pegasus, as it was something she'd only drank when she won a bet. One of these days she'll have to show me how she got through security so damn quick. I turned the car off as a unicorn mare who seemed too clean for wasteland life stepped up to it. The lime green pony seemed to eye the car in disgust as she wrote something down on her clipboard.

"I'm afraid you won't be able to keep that... ugly… thing here while doing business at the tower. They have a terrible habit of exploding." She didn't sound particularly friendly, though the tower folk never were.

Still, I was shocked! I just spent the last year fixing her up just to have her demeaned! I mean yeah, she could've used a new coat of paint, but that was uncalled for! Before I could object, she continued in a voice that nearly sounded to me like she believed herself to be dying of boredom. "But since you are the only applicant of the three to show up at all, I guess you may have the position." She floated the clipboard over and explained that I would need to put a 500 cap non refundable deposit on the shop by month’s end and blah blah blah, sign here, here, and here. I hastily scrawled out my signature and pushed the clipboard away. She looked it over for a good minute, which made me fidget uncomfortably as I thought about how I probably screwed something up and fucked this whole chance straight to tartarus.

"Well everything seems to be in order. Welcome to Tenpony tower Mr. Backlash." She turned to walk away, stopping and eyeing over me. "I was surprised to see you show up at all. I had thought you would be off to raid that bunker they found near the Ministry of Morale hub. Well, their loss is your gain." She turned and disappeared through the front doors to the tower.

A whole bunker...of wartime tech... "Thank you, Celestia!" I started the engine and spun the tires, taking off towards the hub at high speed. The gears in my head formulated all the goods that could be stocked in there. These bunkers always had high end tech, which normally gave us scavengers a small window until those power armored assholes showed up. If I was lucky, the other teams were on hoof, and it could take them hours to get there. All while I can be there in ten minutes! A soft voice in my head sprung up, nudging to wait for Skyline, although I couldn't hear it over thoughts of the clinking caps and all the fame I would earn.

After nearly fifteen minutes of navigating the rubble filled streets and only slightly getting lost at one point, I pulled up to the front of the imposing Ministry of Morale hub. I was a bit distressed to find a group already there, just standing outside across the street from me. They all seemed quite interested in my ride though, which instantly brought a prideful smile across my muzzle.

"Sorry, she's not for sale." I beamed at them. She was my vehicle, and I was going to drive her!

With a collective grumble, they turned back to what looked like a storm cellar with two burnt and twisted heavy steel slabs splayed out from it. They looked like they used to cover it, but something big had flung them off and onto the sidewalk next to it. Trotting over, I looked down with the others. It was a narrow stairwell that went down ten feet or so before ending in a pink force field. Oh, and between the stares and the pink, stood a pony in power armor. If that already hadn't been bad news, a minigun and anti-machine rifle stuck off the sides of the silvery power armor. The steel rangers crest was prominently emblazoned where his or her cutie mark would be, and the dark eyes of the sealed helmet made the armored pony's gaze seem cold.

"What do we have here?" I started to asked slowly... "And why..."

He cut me off mid sentence and was trying a bit hard to sound imposing. "Like I told the others, this bunker is property of the Steel rangers under the authority of the Ministry of Wartime Technologies. Any attempt to take it will be deemed hostile and you will be fired upon." At this the other scavengers took a step back. The two in the back walked off in a huff, muttering to themselves how it wasn't worth it.

"Can I ask you a question then?" I eyed over him suspiciously.

"No." He replied with a stern hoof stomp.

"Yeah, didn't quite hear that..." I squinted and sat down, rubbing my chin with a hoof. I'd listened to how this stallion spoke, and while he didn't seem like he was bluffing, I wasn't sure he couldn't be bargained with. "Why don't you just take the bunker?" A loud sigh emanated from the speaker on the helmet. I put my hooves together and frowned. "I mean, why guard it if the shield keeps ponies out?"

"Because one of you foals could disintegrate yourself on it." His voice boomed through his helmet. I could see him tensing up as he lined up his Anti-machine rifle with my grinning face. "Now I suggest you leave before I have to hurt you." His armor winced for a moment at the end of his threat. He was frustrated and he either didn't want to be here, or he didn't want to hurt me. Perfect...

"Fine, I'll just get in my perfectly working Chrysalis motorwagon and head home. A shame I couldn't just get one teeny look at the bunker before I left." I gave him my best 'terminally sad' impression before slowly turning around.

"Ok, kid." He spoke promptly. Totally got him, hook, line, and sinker. "Here's the deal, you can look at the bunker shield. But if you get yourself killed, I get your car."

I spun around in an instant, grabbing his steel hoof and shaking it quickly. "It's a deal! Just a quick peek is all Mr…?"

“I am Paladin Brass Tacks. Now go quickly before I change my mind.” He pulled his hoof back sharply, the black eye sockets staring lifelessly back as he did his best to step aside in the narrow corridor. I smiled as I attempted to squeeze past him. I say attempted, because I somehow caught my hoof on his tail armor. I stumbled forward sharply towards the shield, thinking how stupid I was to come here alone. Why did everything go so wrong so fast? I was about to be vaporized by a pink shield! Pink! I clinched my eyes, waiting for the searing pain. But what I found was I slammed my face into the cement just beyond the barrier. Searing pain, no. Sharp stabbing pain, yes. Oh Celestia, did that hurt.

I got to my hooves and brushed my face off, the blood from my nose smeared on my hoof while my vision cleared. "Huh..that was ARGGGH!" The steel ranger’s back legs connected with my side, bucking me entirely through the shield. I slammed into a large metal door with a crack and collapsed on the ground. I laid there, gasping as the ranger simply peered in at me.

"It seems you are related to one of the Ministry mares." The ranger stated with a voice so dull I could bludgeon him with it. "How fortunate for you."

"What the fuck was that for?" I shakily got up, but the pain in my side was nearly unbearable. With my teeth clenched, I started to hobble back towards the shield. "Fuck, I think you broke something..."

"Hold it." The barrels on his gun started to spin up. "You must enter the bunker and shut down the shield."

I groaned and pointed a hoof back at the door. "I don't even know how to open the door." As I gasped, the pain grew sharper. It was getting hard to think, and my world had started to tilt and spin. "I think I'm hurt real bad." I coughed and spit blood onto the concrete, wobbling forward as my vision darkened. Then for the second time that day, I didn't remember hitting the ground.

My eyes opened to meet the blue skies again, the sun hanging up at the center of the amazing blue void. Now that I had time to really look at it, I was shocked at how big it seemed. The grey cloud cover over Equestria seemed to be oppressively low sometimes, this seemed to just stretch on forever. Forever… away… okay... now it looked deep... and now I feel sick. I spun over and threw up on the grass. On second thought, the low clouds were kind of nice. Wiping my muzzle with my hoof, I stood up and stopped to think about what just happened.

"How am I sick inside a dream?" I stared at the vile fluid on my hoof. It looked real enough, and certainly smelled real enough. The breeze kicked up over my shoulder, bringing with it a light giggling that seemed to trail off over the hills. With my stomach now calm, I slowly plodded my way towards the laughter. As I crested the familiar hill, on the other side I saw a brightly colored table set up where the cannon should have been. An odd assortment of objects were set up in all the chairs except the two end chairs. Bright balloons and frosted sweets were strewn about the table to give the impression of a party. Slowly approaching the table, I could make out the "Guests". A pile of rocks, a sack of flour, a bucket of turnips, and a pile of...fluff? Each one wore a party hat, and had an assortment of half eaten food laid out in front of it.

"If I died, and this is the afterlife..." I scratched the back of my head softly, not sure what to make of all of it.

"You didn't die!" A squeaky voice blared out from behind.

I jumped and spun to meet a set of piercing blue eyes. A pink filly was standing up on the hill, standing on her hooftips just to be at my height. She smiled and jumped over me, bounding off my back to land on the table with a soft thump. "You are half dead! So this is the almost afterlife. Half afterlife? Halfterlife?" She scrunched up her muzzle and looked deep in thought, her frizzy pink mane shifting with the wind.

"Oh, and you are...?" I walked to the table and sniffed the cake. With nothing but a sparkle cola in me, I was fairly hungry. I wanted to have just a bite, but I stopped myself when I remembered this was all just a dream.

"I'm your great great great great aunty Pinkie Pie!" She squeed and bounced around the table excitedly. "Have a seat and try the cake! It's delicious!"

I nudged back the nearest chair and sat in it. "So, you're Pinkie Pie. The same dead ministry mare from all the creepy posters I've seen about? And you say I'm somehow related to you?" I looked her over before crossing my hooves. "Not only does that seem improbable, but I thought you were older..."

She shook her head vigorously "Not somehow related! Directly!"

"But you said aunt..." I began to reply slowly.

She cut me off, "Oh it's simple silly! Back before the war, I once accidentally made more me's than were useful, but during the war, I was under so much stress there just needed to be more me's! So I went and got them back! But, there may have been a few of them that had a bit more "fun" then I would have wanted, but it doesn't matter because YOU'RE HERE!" There was the startling sound of the missing cannon firing, and confetti rained down from seemingly nowhere.

"So...that still doesn't explain how we're talking... you're dead." I brushed the confetti off my muzzle with a stern glare.

"Of course I am silly! But I'm also alive right now in your head! I mean, how else would we be talking?! DUH!" She buried her face in the cake and started to eat noisily.

"So...what do you want from me? what am I supposed to do?" I asked. This was the most confusing dream I'd ever had. Even with the cannon dream from before.

She looked up, wet pieces of cake plopping down onto the table from her face. "Get the key of course! Didn't you listen before?"

"But...what about..." I tried to say before she cut me off again, this time by shaking all the cake from her coat onto me.

"The code is 42! Get it?! 42? It’s always the answer!" She bounced around the table again, squishing and flinging the rest of the cake everywhere before freezing stiff. "Oh! The party is over already?" She tilted her sad face towards the sky, tears welling up in her bright eyes before she softly smiled back at me. "Luna says I have to be dead again, so goodbye!" She bounded forward, smacking me directly in the face with all four of her hooves. With that, I fell back into painful darkness.

Oh Luna, the painful darkness. I screamed out to the black void, and it felt like eternity before the pain subsided. Ever so slowly, I could hear something coming through it though. Voices? No, not voices, but music. Some sort of polka playing far off in the distance.

"Doctor, he's regaining consciousness..." Oh, I guess I did hear voices.

"Wait outside, please." A voice said next to me. I struggles to open my eyes, the light from the ceiling was nearly blinding. I tried to reach up and cover myself from it, but I couldn't move. In fact, I couldn't move at all. I started to hyperventilate. (I should mention I don't do well penned up.)

"Calm down there, Backlash." A familiar voice spoke from in front of me. "You got really banged up out there."

A blue unicorn stallion in a white lab coat towered above me. I recognized him as Dr. Fits (His full name was Giggle Fits, but he didn't like ponies using it for some reason). He ran the Tenpony infirmary normally, and was looking at a clipboard while he magically undid my bindings. I relaxed and sat up slowly, the rest of the world still seemed a bit off kilter even when I stopped. "Now, I’m not going to ask why a Steel Ranger brought you in, but you need to stop getting so damn busted up all the time."

"Sorry doc, occupational hazard." I rubbed at my fetlocks. "How bad was I?"

He eyed his charts before looking over his black rimmed glasses. "Well, you broke two ribs, punctured a lung, bruised your liver, a kidney, and nearly stopped breathing from pulmonary edema."

I looked down with a shameful smirk. "Oh...is that all."

He tossed the clipboard in his magic down onto the counter. "I can't keep sparing all these supplies for your reckless adventures. What if somepony else needs the Med-X I've given you? Or the Hydra to fix their trauma? Hell, even the Rad-Away you keep neglecting to take would be useful instead of having to detox you all the time."

“I just don’t like orange flavor that much?” I gave him a guilty smile and looked about nervously.

He sighed and face hoofed. "I know you get most of the supplies for me, and you know I’ll always fix you up. But for Celestia's sake, can you just try harder to not get so damn busted up. For as reliable of a supplier you are, you seem to use an awful lot of them up."

I smiled and hopped off the bed, wincing at the freshly healed wounds. "Don't worry doc, I'm done with being grievously injured. I swear I'm a changed stallion."

"You might not want to make promises you can't keep..." He said as he rinsed off his medical tools and floated another Med-X over. I held it in my hooves, looking confused. "Trust me, you'll need it." Three loud bangs on the door startled me.

"Backlash, you moron!" Skylines voice boomed through. "How could you leave without me?"

I frowned and looked down at the syringe again. Oh Celestia, how much I'm going to need this tonight...

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LEVEL UP!

Speech +10

New Perk: Long Haul - because of your mechanical aptitude, your marauders spark batteries last twice as long as normal. Or last for normal time when overloaded to twice the weight!

New Quest perk: Equestrian royalty – Being related to a Ministry mare means even your mere presence can unlock some of the secrets of Equestria and everyone you meet sucks up to you for it! Speech and Barter +10 and new Dialog options are available.

Author's Notes:

I’d like to thank Kkat for thinking up this amazing world. Somber for the epic whisky expansion. No-one for building Dice and Hired. And last but not least Mimezinga for making Puppy a joy to read. Oh and to all the Fic’s I haven’t read that are awesome, keep up the good work!

Special thanks to my pre-reader and all around letter E hater Bad Pun. Who manages to put up with my bullshit day in and day out.

Thanks for following my bullshit story. I’ll try to make updates regular and later chapters longer.