Twilight awoke with a sigh. She felt extremely rested and in a state of near bliss as the room slowly brightened with the light of the dawn. She stretched luxuriously. An idle thought suggested that a more relaxed schedule would be suitable for the day. This traitorous thought was swiftly followed by another suggesting that a more relaxed schedule could well be suitable for all the other days too.

Twilight smiled and snuggled even deeper into her warm bedsheets, the damp patch not even fazing her. A nice morning doze sounded like just the thing to start the day. Maybe get Spike to deliver breakfast in bed later...

These peaceful thoughts of indolence were shattered when a little purple unicorn filly suddenly appeared a hoof above her bed and started bouncing up and down on her flank.

"Good morning!" Li'l Twi shouted happily. "It's breakfast time! Yay!"

Being illusionary, Li'l Twi was immune to mana bolts. Being real, Twilight's bedroom wall wasn't.

When the smoke had cleared, there was a new window in her bedroom. Thankfully it was pretty small and high up, but she'd still need to get a tree surgeon in to make sure that everything was fine. Twilight closed her eyes with a sigh and tried to relax before-

"Twilight, is everything okay?"

"Yes, Spike, everything's fine. I'm sorry I woke you. I've put the fire out and I'll start making breakfast soon."

"Do you want me to get Smarty Pants back from Big Mac?"

"Spike it wasn't a nightmare! I've stopped doing that! This was a perfectly deliberate accidental mana bolt! Go back to sleep!"

"Yeesh."

Twilight felt like a foal who had just had a 'little accident' as her mother would call them. It was always so embarrassing - she couldn't even go to any slumber parties as a filly just in case it happened again.

Spike never needed telling twice to go back to sleep and silence soon returned to the tree. Twilight was wide awake, but the bed was still warm. The room was still warm, for that matter. Maybe a few more minutes...

"Ooh - that was really cool! Do it again!"

Twilight whimpered.

------------------------------

Breakfast wasn't great as Twilight was behind on her shopping. Waffles that didn't have much to say, some daisies that had seen better days and a glass of juice that seemed to lack energy for her, a glass of milk that was nearly on the turn and a quartz turnover that clearly never had for Spike.

Li'l Twi had soon decided that breakfast was boring, anyone who got up this early was crazy, and that it was a time to have a nap.

Once Spike had finished the washing up and Twilight had opened the library, they met as usual in Twilight's study.

"All right Spike, let's review the schedule for today. Number one - get up. Check. Number two, breakfast. Check. Number three, open library. Check. We're doing really well here! Number four-"

"Shopping - milk, autumnal flowers, eggs, amethysts, quills, bread, hay, paper and apples." The little filly was sitting on the study desk and reciting the list as if by rote, "Then ask Leafy Branches to look at the cool new hole in the tree. You have a picnic at mid-day with your friends. Then you want to read Smooth Flow's 'Wing Preening Guide for Lovers'. Then you want to read 'Mrs. Beastson's Book of Household Management' to find tips on waterproofing-"

"What! How did you know-"

"I'm you, remember? Wait, you don't need to remember - I'm here to remind you of stuff. Such as the fact that I'm here to remind you of stuff. And your appointments. And who people are. And stuff." Li'l Twi seemed very proud of all this.

"And my daily schedule?" asked Twilight, temporarily ignoring Spike's confusion.

"Well, I like helping you remember stuff. And you can't be very good at it, otherwise you wouldn't bother with all those lists. So why not?"

"Twilight, you're talking to the air again. Are you sure you're all right?"

Twilight took a moment to collect her thoughts, which caused Li'l Twi to giggle as if being tickled.

"Sorry Spike - the memory spell I told you about yesterday is still here and it, she, is reacting to me. It looks like I won't be needing a list today."

"If you don't need a list, does that mean I can go?"

"Sure, thanks-"

Spike was already gone in a blur. The parchment and quill hovered in the air for a moment, suspended in the turbulence of his departure, before falling to the ground. Twilight tidied them away with an understanding sigh.

"Right, Little Me, let's go shopping!"

"Yay!"

------------------------------

Twilight was careful to not give any hint that she could see illusionary creatures as she did her shopping. She was well aware that the townsfolk viewed her as an oddity, albeit often a welcome one, and didn't want to make her reputation even worse.

She noticed that she was starting to attract stares and whispers behind her back, despite her caution. Every time she turned to face the whisperers, they always found somewhere else to go or a chore to busy themselves with. A quick check confirmed that Spike hadn't hung a humorous note on her tail like last time. Or the time before that.

Twilight reviewed her options - she could confront one of the gossips who would know what was being said, but would probably not tell her, or she could ask a friend who would happily tell her, but probably not know what they were gossiping about. Remembering the 'frog' incident the last time she took the 'confrontation' route, she headed for Applejack's stall.

"This is Applejack! She's your friend. She has lots of stuff! Like a brother, a sister, a granny, an apple farm, a cool hat and a cute little doggy. Oh! And she's really honest almost all the time."

"Hi there sugarcube! Haven't seen you in a couple of days. Everything going okay?"

"Hello Applejack. I thought everything was fine, but I seem to be attracting some attention. Now last birthday Rarity did give me a bottle of perfume that she said would turn heads, but I thought I had to wear it first."

"Ponies do seem to be acting mighty rude around you, now that you mention it. No idea why - I can ask around if you like."

"Thanks, Applejack - I'd appreciate it.”

They chatted a little more before Applejack started getting more customers and Twilight could no longer ignore her schedule and the little filly tugging on her mane with her mouth.

They said their goodbyes and Twilight continued her shopping none the wiser. Ignoring the wide-eyed gazes and urgent whispers, she did her scheduled daily chores, surprisingly well aided by her invisible friend. She left Spike in charge of the library and a bowl of assorted gemstones when it was time to head out for the picnic. She was pretty sure one would survive.

Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were already there, waiting for the rest of the group. They had laid out the usual blanket, laid out their provisions and were now talking animatedly amongst themselves. When Twilight approached, the conversation stopped and all three looked at her with expressions of disapproving concern, curiosity and pride, respectively. The silence was uncomfortable.

Li'l Twi seemed embarrassed by her proximity to Rainbow Dash, hiding behind Twilight's leg despite Rainbow not being able to see her. With a sudden burst of courage, she rushed forward, pointed at the pegasus with one hoof and said "Rainbow Dash! So cool! I mean zoooom! Whee! Wow!", this was accompanied by appropriate hoof movements and gymnastics that somehow ended with her on her back with all four of the filly's hooves in the air, twitching with excitement. She sighed. "So cool. Oh, and friend." With that, she regained her hooves and bolted back to hide behind Twilight, blushing.

Twilight would have had a harder time keeping a straight face if she wasn't so worried about the stares she was getting from her friends. Realising that they had been staring at each other for an uncomfortable period of time, she broke the spell and trotted up with a basket of sandwiches held forth in appeasement.

"Hello girls. It's a beautiful day - thanks Rainbow!", this was all said through a forced smile.

Rainbow grinned and said, "You're welcome, Twilight! Um, it seemed like a nice day for it, cause, you know, um..."

"Hello Twilight! We were just talking about you! And now we can talk with you! And Rarity and Fluttershy!"

Twilight turned and saw the two friends approaching together. The uncomfortable silence was contagious and each mare settled around the blanket with muffled greetings and awkward galnces. Twilight found she was starting to blush.

Eventually Applejack coughed, "I'm sorry, Twilight. Ah know we're all being a mite quiet right now. It's just that, well, I asked around the market about the rumours, just like you asked, and, well, the rumours are mighty worrying. I was kinda hoping we could, uh, talk about them."

Twilight had suspected that rumours would start about her liaison with Luna, but she thought she'd have more time than this. Bracing herself against Applejack's apparent disapproval, she raised her head "Of course, Applejack. What did you want to know?"

"Well, sugarcube, ah don't rightly know how to say this but, the rumours are about what you might have done in Canterlot."

"Oh"

"They're saying that you were seen sneaking into the palace like a fox..."

"That's true. I, I didn't want to talk to the guards..."

"They say that you were grinning like a cat who'd gotten into the dairy when you left.."

"I was rather happy, yes."

"And they were speculatin' about what you got up to while you were in there – rabbits were mentioned. Rubbish talk - but I'd like to hear the truth, from you."

"Well, I-"

"Did you have sex?" asked Pinkie Pie eagerly, "I felt a happy trembly feeling in my knees the day before yesterday," her knees all shook in demonstration, "whiiich woooorked uuuup my legsssss," her whole body was now vibrating with energy, her luminous smile leaving a broad afterimage, "and then I felt really really gooood." She sagged. "I don't know what that's Pinkie Pie sense for, but I want it to happen again!"

A furiously blushing Twilight replied, "Well, Pinkie it may be related because I felt something very similar," she turned to Applejack and said more seriously, "I did have sex."

Applejack was looking uncomfortable, but said, "Don't get me wrong, now. I think it's perfectly natural for a healthy young mare to 'scratch the itch' and I won't hear otherwise. The big question is, though, 'Who with'?"

"I wanna know too! 'cause I felt that Pinkie Pie sense again last night, and no one got off the train with you when you got back from Canterlot and if they didn't come back by train then how did you have sex with them last night unless they can, you know, teleport or fly really really fast or, oh, maybe you were cheating on them! Did you cheat on your Canterlot lover? Oh, Twilight, how could you?!" Pinkie Pie was pointing accusingly at Twilight, condemnation written on her face.

Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy were all listening in attentively, alert to the tension, until Rainbow broke. "Aw come on! We know who it was! Everyone knows! The rest of the weather team won't shut up about Twi and Princess Celestia!"

Fluttershy gasped "Oh my!", Applejack's frown deepened and Rarity gasped, waved a hoof to fan her face and fell onto her fainting couch with a squelch.

Rainbow turned to a shocked Twilight with a broad grin, "Congratulations, Twilight! I mean, Princess Celestia! Wow-"

"Now wait a gosh-darn second, Rainbow Dash! This is serious! There are-"

"I DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH PRINCESS CELESTIA! I HAD SEX WITH PRINCESS LUNA!" shouted Twilight, informing her friends and everyone else in the park what happened. She then said in a much smaller voice, shoulders hunched up "Luna and I met in my dreams last night, Pinkie."

"Oh, that makes a lot more sense!" Pinkie sat back down happily, "Now that's all cleared up, let's eat. Anyone want a toffee apple? They're really good."

Rarity noticed with interest that Twilight's blush somehow managed to deepen at the sight of the toffee apple, and smiled. Revenge would be sweet.

Applejack was also a lot more relaxed now that the truth was out, "I'm sorry, Twi. Every rumour was talking 'bout you an' Princess Celestia, and ah know that you two are close. Thing is, you're still her student and she's still your teacher and I just can't abide that sort of thing."

"It's okay, Applejack. I understand. At least you asked, unlike some ponies," she shot a glare at Rainbow Dash, who grinned and shrugged, "Princess Celestia is like a mother to me, as well as my teacher. We're very close, but not like that."

"So, you and Princess Luna, huh?" Rainbow was still impressed, "Not bad, not bad. We want all the juicy details! Come on!"

"Not here, Rainbow! Everyone is staring at us!"

"Argh! You can't drop that on us and then leave us hanging!"

"All right, one question and then we talk about something else."

Rarity coughed, interrupting Rainbow's inward breath, "One question?", she asked archly.

"I already told you and Fluttershy everything at the spa!"

"Oh, but I have a new question now."

Rainbow cast a glance at Rarity and her evil smile, "Okay, one question and you tell us everything else tonight in the library, after Spike's gone to bed. Rarity's question."

"All right! All right! What's the question?"

Rarity calmly reached for a toffee apple and gave it a long, slow lick, making shivers go down Twilight's spine, "My question is, 'What did you dream last night, Miss Twilight Sparkle?'"

After Twilight managed to recover her voice and had given a very abridged version of the second half of the dream, and after everyone except Fluttershy had finished making a show of licking and teasing the toffee apples, and after a certain amount of additional joking and laughter, they quickly let the matter drop.

Only for Applejack to inadvertently raise it again when she noticed Twilight watching Li'l Twi prance amongst some butterflies that were fluttering nearby.

"Everything all right, Twi? I hope we weren't too hard on you - it was all meant in good fun. It's just that you seem a bit distant all of a sudden. Thinking of Princess Luna?"

"Oh, it's not that, Applejack. I miscast a memory spell earlier. It was supposed to create an illusion only I could see, of somepony to remind me of stuff. The illusion has a bit more 'personality' than I had planned. I was really happy when it landed and now I being followed by a little version of me who seems to be just as happy as I was then. She currently chasing butterflies."

"Wait, you mean you had a little filly with you when you..."

"Oh no! This was after! And she wasn't in my dream at all! But, well, she does know everything I know. So, uh, I'm thinking she about as embarrassed about all this as I am and-" Twilight suddenly froze as a horrifying thought crossed her mind.

"What is it?"

"Well, when I made the spell, I wanted someone I would trust, so I went with me as a filly. While the thought of a filly knowing everything that I with Luna did is horrifying..."

"Yes?"

"I just remembered the other option I had seriously considered - my mother."

Rainbow Dash fell to the ground laughing, pounding the grass with her hooves.

------------------------------

Much to Twilight's relief, her friends finally dropped the topic and the conversation moved onto other things – Rarity's latest problem customer, the run on muffins at Sugar Cube Corner and the birds leaving it late in planning their winter holidays. Too soon, it was time for the picnic to break up and everyone to return to their normal jobs.

"Right," said Pinkie Pie, "see you guys at the sleepover in the Library tonight. I'll bring the marshmallows."

"Ah'll bring the cider - the good stuff."

Twilight groaned good-naturedly, reclaimed her now-empty basket and headed back towards the library. She had barely set hoof out of the bounds of the park when she was reminded that her earlier cry had caught a number of ponies' attention. She found herself surrounded by a mob of curious ponies asking questions or offering congratulations.

"Ooh, Twilight, can you ask Princess Luna to give me more flying dreams? I love those ones."

Twilight remained impassive as she headed to the library, ignoring the crowd.

"Are you going to go to move to Canterlot? Does that mean I don't need to return that library book I borrowed?"

Her smile, fixed to her face through willpower alone, did not falter.

"Are you going to get Princess Luna to send nightmares to anyone who's late returning books?"

No-one noticed her teeth clenching.

"Congratulations on banging Luna! What's she like in the sack?"

A very slight eye-twitch went un-noticed by the crowd.

"If you're dating Princess Luna, does that make you a demi-goddess, or a demi-princess?"

A single hair in her mane sprung out of place.

"No, silly! It doesn't work like that! She's just Princess Luna's concubine."

It was quickly joined by a few dozen more.

"I think you mean consort."

A bead of sweat ran down her face.

"Same thing, surely?"

One eye turned bloodshot.

"So does this mean you're two-timing Luna with Nightmare Moon?"

The other followed.

"Ooh - threesomes!"

Twilight screamed. A purple magical explosion erupted from her horn, knocking the ponies away from her and scattering them across the ground. Held aloft by a torrent of magic, she shouted in a decent approximation of the Royal Canterlot Voice, "I AM DATING PRINCESS LUNA! THAT DOES NOT MAKE ME A DEMI-PRINCESS-CONCUBINE OF NIGHTMARE MOON! ARRGH!"

There really hadn't been that many ponies the park that day. Most of them had been in the marketplace, and hadn't heard her earlier cry. They certainly heard this one. Twilight looked at a sea of pony faces staring at her, wide-eyed. She teleported into the library.

Slamming the library door closed and locking it, Twilight slumped against the wall. "It's okay. Everything is okay. They'll all forget about it by morning. Or, I'll make them forget about it! Yes! I can grab the water tower, teleport to Tartarus, fill it with water from the river Lethe and sprinkle it over the town! Perfect! We usually need a new water tower anyway."

"Uh, Twilight?"

Twilight looked up and saw Spike looking at her worriedly. So to were the half-dozen library patrons that she had locked inside with her.

Realising her mistake, Twilight quickly teleported herself out with all the patrons, leaving them standing bewildered in the street, and then teleported back in again. Only to teleport back out to grab the books that they were holding and hadn't been booked out, before disappearing again in a flash. A purple forcefield appeared around the library.

The startled patrons joined the rest of the small mob surrounding the forcefield but, like them, dispersed after it was clear that the show was over for the day. They certainly had a lot to gossip about though.

Twilight sagged to the floor in the darkened library, trying desperately to come up with a way to explain to Princess Luna that she had just loudly announced their relationship, which she had desperately wanted to keep quiet, to the entirety of Ponyville. At the rate that gossip travelled, Twilight estimated that all of Canterlot would know by tomorrow afternoon.

There was the click of a door opening above. Quick as a flash, Twilight raced up the stairs, but whilst the balcony doors were open, no one was there. She closed and locked the doors, to be certain, and then turned around to find herself face to face with one of Luna's personal guard. With a yelp, she leapt back and crashed into the doors she had just closed.

"Ssssorry, madam," it said with a rasping voice that was little more than a hiss, "The Goddessss of the Night requessssted that I deliver to you thisss note with the utmosssst disscretion. I entered unssseen and awaited your return. I ssshall now depart."

Trembling, Twilight took the note. The guard shimmered and became transparent, detectable only as a distortion in the air. It stood there a moment, and then reappeared.

"Sssorry to be a nuisssancce, madam, but would you mind?"

Twilight suddenly realised that she was leaning against the locked and bolted door through which the guard wished to depart. Blushing, she quickly opened it again and made a hole in the barrier she had erected around the library.

"Much obliged, madam." The guard turned invisible again and flew away. Twilight sealed the hole, closed the balcony doors, locked them and then read the missive from the princess.

My Dearest Twilight,

I am sorry for contacting you this way, but I cannot wait until we meet again in our dreams. Without you here, I feel lost. I cannot concentrate on my duties. I can barely eat. My every thought is of you.

I ramble.

I write to apologise - I have not told our secret to my sister yet. I worry what she will say - am I stealing away her favourite student? Will she see this as another betrayal? We must broach the topic with the utmost sensitivity. By dropping hints of our affection, she may come realise our feelings without having to be told. This may be the best approach. There is no need to hurry, after all, as our dalliances will be discrete.

I will join you in your dreams tonight. Place a spell of silence on your bedroom lest your cries of ecstasy wake the town.

Your secret lover,
Luna

Twilight realised three things:

One - Luna would be very disappointed when Princess Celestia found out about their relationship through common gossip.

Two - Scheduling a slumber party on the same night that her dream lover planned to drive her to multiple screaming orgasms was probably going to result in a very awkward breakfast.

Three - this had not been a very good day so far.

Spike had just finished reshelving the confiscated books when Twilight returned. "Hello, Twilight. Feeling better? Where did that letter come from?"

"Hi Spike. Sorry if I worried you earlier – I'm having a bad day. This letter is from Princess Luna," Twilight distractedly started tidying the library.

"What's it say?"

"Hmm," said Twilight absently, "Oh, she's asking me to keep my affair with her quiet. And warning me to put a silence spell on my room to quiet my 'cries of ecstasy.'"

"You're having an affair with Princess Luna?!" Twilight looked up, startled - there had been two voices. She hadn't really meant to tell all that to Spike and she had definitely not meant to tell Leafy Branches. The earth pony was coming down from her bedroom.

"So sorry, Miss Twilight. I was just looking at the hole you made in the tree as you requested. I heard your voice and was coming down to give you the news. I couldn't help but overhear your news, begging your pardon."

Twilight slumped against the wall in despair. Twilight wanted to try the day all over again. Twilight could try the day all over again.

Twilight reloaded.

------------------------------

Twilight found herself in her study, the book of the memory spell in front of her. With a sigh, she put it away and turned to the door.

"Ooh! That day was so much fun that you wanted to do it again? Cool!"

Twilight turned on Li'l Twi in anger, "I don't want to hear another word from you today! Is that clear?"

Li'l Twi eeped and made a zipping motion over her lips with a nod.

"Sorry, but that was not a good day."

Knowing that she would not be able to sleep in her current mood, she dug up some books and started reading. A few hours later, she trudged to her bed, cast a quick spell on it, fell in and asleep.

------------------------------

Twilight was in a strangely familiar room, looking at a strangely familiar wall with a strangely familiar poster that said "This is a dream," in a strangely familiar voice. Realising that she was about to experience last night's dream all over again, but with foreknowledge ruining all of Luna's painstakingly crafted surprises and games, Twilight felt a strangely familiar sense of despair.

"Oh fuck."

"That is the idea, madam," deadpanned the waiter behind her.

Author's Notes:

Note to self: never try to convert a one-shot to a serial ever again.