The mare that boarded the mid-day Canterlot train to Ponyville was grinning. It was a wide, toothy smile and it beamed at anypony who came near. Anypony who was not put off by the grin fled from the effusive friendliness of her greetings and declarations of happiness; for all they knew, her insanity could be contagious.

Twilight did not notice that she was putting off other ponies. She did not realise that she was grinning in a fashion that would make Pinkie Pie faint with delight. All she was aware of was how wonderful the world was and how everything was perfect.

The grin stayed plastered onto Twilight's face as she stepped onto the Ponyville train station platform in the early afternoon. The residents of Ponyville noticed the grin as she trotted to the library, but their panic subsided when they say that her mane remained well groomed; years of living near Twilight had raised their awareness of her warning signs to near-Pinkie Pie levels of precognition, but things appeared to be safe for now.

She was grinning as she opened the door and danced into her home, lost in a state of bliss. She greeted Spike with a gleeful hug.

"Oof! Oh hey, Twilight, welcome back. Good trip?"

"Oh Spike, it was wonderful. You are wonderful. Everything is wonderful."

"That's great! Tell me all about it."

Twilight's grin didn't slip. "Maybe when you're older. I'm going upstairs to drop off my saddlebags - I'll be back down soon." She continued to do what she thought of as dancing, moving towards her room. With reckless enthusiasm, she grabbed the horse-head bust from the centre of the room as a dance partner.

She was still grinning when the memory spell that she had left for herself the other day hit her right between the eyes. Her legs gave way beneath her and she flopped on the floor, her grin finally fading.

"Twilight!", shouted Spike as he rushed to her side.

Twilight wasn't grinning when she pulled herself off of the floor. Her head ached, her vision had taken a purple overtone and everything was strangely distorted, as though viewed through a twisted lens. Her ears roared with static.

Spike sounded as though he was speaking from underwater, "Twilight? What happened? Are you okay?"

"Ugh, that hurt. Sorry to worry you Spike. I just got hit by a memory spell that I had forgotten that I had left for myself. I'm fine."

"You forgot your memory spell. Maybe you should have cast a memory spell to remind yourself of your memory spell."

"Ha ha, very funny, Spike. Help me put this head back in place please."

She was definitely getting better. The headache would be with her for a while, she knew, but the distortion in her vision was concentrating into one area, taking the purple with it, and the sound effects were now becoming clearer. As her senses cleared, the distortion, colours and sounds slowly combined to take the form of a small purple unicorn filly who was talking to her. The filly was modelled on a young Twilight.

The filly's voice slowly resolved out of the static, sounding happy, cheerful and helpful. "...Twilight ...hear me? I'm you! You put me in your head to restore your memory. I'm here to help remind you of your boring, mundane life!"

Spike had been initially relieved by Twilight's assurances, but now she was staring into thin air and appeared to be hearing voices. Spike waved a claw in front of Twilight, catching her attention, "Are you sure you're okay? You look distracted. I'm really worried."

The illusionary little filly walked up to Spike as he was speaking, and said "This is Spike! He's a baby dragon and your sort of little brother. He likes a mare called Rarity, gemstones, sleeping in, being lazy, ice-cream, and you. In that order, I think."

Twilight did her best to ignore the filly as she described Spike in excruciating detail and tried to answer Spike's question.

"Sorry Spike. The memory spell created a mental figment that only I can see. Any time I focus on anything, the figment tells all about it, in detail."

"Wow, that sounds really annoying."

"Yes, it is," her voice was raised too loud, trying to speak over the sound of the filly that only she could hear describe Spike's eating habits.

"Can you get rid of it?"

"No, I can't," said Twilight, as the illusion finished describing Spike and started looking around curiously for something else to narrate.

"Why did you cast this spell on yourself again?"

Little Twilight look at her with a beaming smile and helpfully said, "You cast this spell because you were worried that you would forget everything in a decades-long attempt to snuggle with Princess Luna."

Twilight whimpered.

The little filly looked sad at Twilight's distress, but quickly perked up when a thought hit her, "Oooh. You have an appointment! In an hour! You have a spa date with your friends Rarity and Fluttershy."

Twilight briefly considered her options. It would take hours to research ways to remove the spell, and even then she might be stuck with it. Her other option was to ignore the spell and have a pleasant visit to the spa with her friends. She was weighing the pros and cons when Little Twilight reminded her that this spa date had been planned prior to her trip to Canterlot, so that she could gossip with Rarity and Futtershy. Twilight quickly realised that she couldn't wait another day to see to Rarity's reaction to her news. Twilight's grin returned.

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Twilight met up with Rarity and Fluttershy at the Carousel Boutique. The tinkling of the shop door bell alerted the two friends to her presence and they trotted out of the backroom to greet her. Twilight went to embrace both mares, carefully ignoring the phantom Little Twilight bouncing up and down on their unheeding heads.

"Ooh ooh ooh. This is Rarity! She's your friend! She has a clothes shop! And a sister! And a vicious pet cat that you think might be part tartarus-spawn!"

Twilight finished embracing Rarity and turned to hug Fluttershy. "And and and this is Fluttershy! She's your friend too! She looks after cute little animals! And snakes! And bears! And she has a cunning pet rabbit that you're sure is part tartarus-spawn!"

Twilight was glad neither of her friends could see her face as it was buried in Fluttershy's luxurious mane.

"Darling! How fabulous that you could join us. You simply must share all the latest gossip from Canterlot! I'm so jealous of your little holiday!"

"I would like to hear about your day too, if that's all right," said Fluttershy, quietly.

"Girls, I'll tell you all about it when we get to the spa. I don't want to miss our appointment."

The three happily chatted about the quiet happenings of Ponyville on the way (even the cutie mark crusaders were being unusually non-destructive for once). Twilight did her best to ignore her unwanted helper but Li'l Twi was jumping up and down in the middle of the street ahead, eager for them to catch up. Twilight couldn't help but tense when a stallion walked straight through the non-existent filly.

"Twilight, darling, is everything all right? You seem a little... distracted."

"Heh. Sorry Rarity. I made a mistake with a spell earlier. I conjured an illusionary filly that only I can see. She's harmless, but very distracting. Don't worry, she'll fade away in a few days anyway."

Rarity sighed, "Even your magic mistakes are better than mine. I don't get prancing foals, I generally get headaches and strange smells. Although, one time, I accidentally conjured an exquisite porcelain statue of a dancing pony. Which Sweetie Belle promptly broke. Sadly, she didn't earn a cutie mark in statue repairing: despite her best efforts, tree sap could just not hold it together."

They laughed as they continued down to the spa. Twilight was sure to drop hints that she had some first-rate gossip, but refused to divulge it in public.

The spa was as delightful as ever, Aloe and Lotus attentive to all their needs. For the very first time this highly attentive service was unwelcome to Rarity: she was dying to hear her friend's news from the capital but Twilight refused to say a word whilst the spa ponies were present. She did hint, however, that her news was of a royal nature. This only served to further drive Rarity to distraction.

Once safely alone, lounging in the hot tub, Twilight finally agreed to share the gossip that she had been teasing Rarity about during their massages, hoof-manicures and facials.

"Now, first things first. You must both agree to keep this secret. It must not get out until it becomes public. Telling AJ, Pinkie and Rainbow is fine, but no-one else must know. Do you swear?"

"We swear. 'Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye'." As they were doing the hoof motions, Pinkie Pie surfaced from under the water, wearing a snorkel.

"Hi girls!", Pinkie said, "What's going on?"

Before Twilight could respond, little Twilight, who had been lying at the edge of the pool pawing half-heartedly at the bubbles, suddenly perked up and jumped over to Pinkie Pie. "This is Pinkie Pie! She's your friend. She doesn't make sense, except when she does. She has a pet alligator that isn't vicious or cunning or evil at all." She looked briefly confused, "Not sure what's going on there."

Pinkie was delighted when she caught sight of the Twilight's figment, "Ooh! Little Twilight! Where did you come from? Do you want to play hide-and-seek?"

Little Twilight eeped happily and scampered off to find someplace to hide. As neither competitor seemed bound by the normal rules of time and space, they both quickly disappeared, leaving the three bemused friends alone in the pool. Twilight knew that the purple filly would be back, but it was still nice not to have her around, particularly when discussing this gossip.

"Okay girls, here's what I found when I was Canterlot: Princess Luna is having an affair!"

Rarity gasped and brought her hoof to her muzzle in shock. Fluttershy cooed with interest and leaned in for more information.

"This is super-secret. I don't think anyone knows except maybe a few of Luna's guards, and they're fanatically loyal to her. Even Princess Celestia doesn't know."

"Oh my!"

"Why, this is positively scandalous! Tell me more. Are you sure? How did you find out? Are there any hints on the identity of her bold suitor? What do you think will happen when the news gets out?"

"Is Princess Luna happy?" Fluttershy chimed in, "I thought she looked rather sad on Nightmare Night. I want Luna to be happy."

"Well, she seemed very happy when I saw her. I have no idea what will happen when the news gets out; Luna is allowed to take to her bed whomever she likes, but the Canterlot nobility will probably have their usual uproar until Princess Celestia calms them down. They do so like their uproars," Twilight said this last with a matronising sigh, "As for how I know, well, when I got into Canterlot, I went straight to the palace..."

"Yes..." said both listeners, trying to draw out her story.

"And I went to Princess Luna's chambers..."

"Yes. Tell us!"

"And I seduced Princess Luna. So to answer your other question Rarity, yes, I'm pretty sure."

The girls' responses were everything she could have hoped for. Fluttershy meeped, blushed and stammered for several minutes, while Rarity reacted just as Twilight had hoped. Getting the fainting couch out of the pool was a chore, but great art requires sacrifices. Getting the smirk off of Twilight's face was also proving difficult.

She answered their questions as best she could: they were both serious and planned to court, as Luna put it, but as the physical side of the relationship had been so much fun it seemed a shame to give it up until they were done courting. They had discussed who should know: Luna would tell Celestia when the moment was right and Twilight would let the bearers in on it all. She planned to tell the others during tomorrow's picnic. She didn't know what the future would bring, but the present was perfectly fine.

They were still discussing this plan when Li'l Twi reappeared, bouncing, in front of Twilight. "I won!" said the happy little mare, before going to sleep by the edge of the pool.

When they were done at the spa they went their separate ways, a dazed Rarity returned to her boutique, sodden fainting couch in tow, Fluttershy, still blushing as pink as her mane, returned to her animals, and Twilight returned to the library, trying again to ignore Li'l Twi, who was busy trying to introduce her to all the citizens of Ponyville they passed.

Twilight retreated to her study and, sitting down at her writing desk, she pulled out the book that contained her notes on the memory spell. Her little hallucination leapt onto the desk and poked the book with her muzzle. She looked up at Twilight and told her authoritatively, "It's a book."

A few hours research confirmed what she had told Spike earlier: it would be too dangerous to try and remove the spell. She did have one option that she could think of: she could use her 'save/reload' spell to undo the mistake. Unfortunately, her last save was just before she entered Luna's chambers. On one hoof, if she reloaded she could relive that magical night all over again. On the other, she could make a mistake a second time through and loose her relationship with Luna. That entire night could have been a one-in-a-million jackpot. She just could not dare risk trying again and failing. She also decided that that first night was special and to relive it again would diminish it.

With nothing to remember for Twilight, the annoying little purple unicorn was dozing on Twilight's desk, lying on her back with her hooves twitching as she dreamed. She looked, Twilight was forced to admit, absolutely adorable. With a sigh, Twilight decided to push temptation out of reach. She made a new save and went to bed. It had been a long day and there was a lot to do tomorrow, so she decided to call it an early night.

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Sleep came quickly as long practised meditations drove the buzzing thoughts about her day from her mind.

Twilight found herself staring at a large poster on a wall. It said, in a cheerful voice, "This is a dream". The wall the poster was on changed constantly, from brick to paint to wattle and daub to sheet metal and on to stranger materials. The window in the wall looked out on a chaotic dreamscape.

Upon consideration, Twilight decided that she was inclined to give the speaking poster the benefit of the doubt.

A discrete cough from behind caused her to turn away from the wall and face a dark tan earth pony dressed as a waiter. He held himself with head high and a serious expression on his face as he solemnly said, "Madam, may I have the honour of bidding you welcome to this dream, lovingly sculpted by Princess Luna, Goddess of the Night, for your personal pleasure?"

"Er, thank you, sir."

"Princess Luna apologises that she can't be here to greet you personally, but she will be here shortly to take care of your needs. In the mean time I am bid to make you feel welcome. Tonight's entertainment will consist of an aperitif in the form of 'Criminal Stock', where you, as the damsel, shall be wrongly accused, held in pillory and unjustly 'interrogated' until the crime is solved," Twilight felt that the stallion's eyebrow waggle while enunciating 'interrogated' was a little excessive, but he continued on regardless, "It will be followed by the main course 'Sweet Trouble' where the tour of a confectionery factory goes terribly wrong when madam is captured by the insane proprietor. I have been asked to assure you that dream confectioneries hold no calorific value and may be consumed freely."

"How, er, nice." Twilight was shifting nervously from hoof to hoof.

"If madam would kindly follow me, I shall show her to her stocks."

"Well, I suppose it is Luna's turn to be 'on top'. Please lead on."

Twilight was lead into an area set up like a strip club. Countless faceless ponies dressed in high society fashion were sat around tables, making noises that sounded like small talk. There was a runway stage projecting to the middle of the room, at the head of which was a table set for dinner. Twilight saw with horrified eyes that the table had one normal cushion for a pony to sit at and one very out of place set of stocks.

"Wait, wait. I can't-- Not in front of all these ponies..." said Twilight, backing away.

"Princess Luna wishes to assure madam that the background ponies will not be participating in tonight's entertainment, they are purely here to provide ambience."

Twilight drew a deep breath and then continued her march of doom to the pillory. She was blushing furiously at the thought of all the eyes on her, but held her head high.

Once the interminable walk was done, she was assisted into the stocks (actually quite comfortable), and waited patiently as manacles were fitted to her hind legs, holding them wide apart. She did yelp when the waiter lifted her tail, exposing her already damp marehood, and carefully tied it back.

"Very sorry, madam," the waiter said, not sounding at all sincere. "Here is the script for the first part of this evening's entertainment." With that, he propped a card folded like a menu on the table in front of Twilight.

"Thank you, sir. Um, could I please have a glass of water while I wait?"

"Of course madam."

Twilight scanned the 'script'. It read:

The beautiful and beguiling damsel, Twilight Sparkle, has been falsely accused of stealing Princess Luna's slippers. Gritty Bullet, Princess Luna's loyal law enforcement representative will interrogate the mare until they are found.

"Oh dear. Sounds like I will need to solve this dastardly crime with very little information to go on. Hmmm"

"Your water, madam."

"Thank you, kind sir."

The waiter took the script away when he left, leaving Twilight nothing to hide behind as she looked out at the gentlecolts and gentlemares on the floor below the stage. She had never felt so exposed to so many casual glances. The blush on her face was matched by the arousal she was feeling in her hindquarters.

She smiled weakly and tried to wave at the audience, but they didn't seem to notice. Lifting the glass with her magic, she gulped down her water and waited with mounting discomfort for Luna to show. Time passed slowly, and her arousal faded into irritation.

She was debating with herself the merits of breaking out of the stocks (trivially easy with her magic) when finally the spotlights clacked on and shone down into her eyes, temporarily blinding her. The noise of the restaurant ceased.

When her eyes recovered, she found herself in a circle of light, unable to see anything beyond its edge; the dinner table had gone. As her eyes strained to see beyond the light, Luna swooped in out of the darkness, coming to land in front of Twilight. She looked contrite, beautiful and magnificent in her full regalia and Twilight was suddenly finding it hard to remember why she had been annoyed.

"Twilight, I am so sorry I am late. I was delayed by a couple of nightmares that chose not behave. I needed to get everything in order so that we would not be disturbed. Can you forgive me?"

Twilight sighed, but stretched her neck out as far as she could to kiss Luna. "I understand what it's like when work gets ahead of you. At least these stocks are comfortable."

Luna blushed at Twilight's forgiving kiss. "Thank you, I will make it up to you, I promise. Now I need to remind myself what the script is for this one..." a loose sheaf of notes appeared in front of Luna, who sorted through them, clearly looking for something.

"'This one'? How many of these scenarios are there?"

Luna giggled and gave Twilight a knowing smile. "Lots. I have been looking forward to trying them out with someone. Ah ha! Here we go," said Luna, and pulled her 'naughty policemare' costume from nowhere and donned it. She carelessly tossed aside her crown to make space for a police cap. The notes were swapped for a nightstick and the costume was complete. "I am 'Gritty Bullet' and you have stolen Princess Luna's slippers!"

"No I haven't. I'm falsely accused!"

"Ah ha! That is just what you would say if you were guilty. I am not fooled!" 'Gritty' grinned triumphantly and began circling behind Twilight.

"Now officer, I can't have-- Ah!"

Gritty was trailing the nightstick along Twilight's flank as she walked behind her and the tingle turned electric when it passed over cutie mark. "What was that, criminal?" She tapped Twilight on the ass with the stick, to get a response.

"Oooh. I can't have-- Ah! --stolen the slipper-- Ah!" Luna was swinging the nightstick from its loop, the apex of each swing gently glancing off Twilight's pussy. With her legs separated by the irons and her tail tied back, she could do nothing to stop each swing, nor could she reliably anticipate it. It was very distracting.

Sorely tempted by the pert behind on display, Luna leaned in and licked around Twilight's hindquarters, slowly moving in to taste her labia. Twilight yelped in response. Luna took care to ensure that her gently flicking tongue avoided the more sensitive clitoris and carefully teased the captive mare without relieving her. Twilight was moaning happily.

Luna continued her slow circle around Twilight, this time with a wing caressing the captive's flank and cutie mark, eliciting groans. The tapping on Twilight's rear restarted and despite swaying her hips as far as she could, she was unable to avoid it. Her mind was fading into the fog of lust, but she still had enough focus to be impressed by Luna's skill.

Luna soon returned to Twilight's head and was happy with what she saw: Twilight was sweating, moaning and a trail of drool had started to form from her mouth. Time to pick things up.

"Criminal, since you refuse to cooperate, I shall have to stop going easy on you!"

The batten stopped batting Twilight's soaked pussy. It smoothly rolled its length over her lower lips until it was thoroughly lubricated and then presented itself for entry. Whilst this happened, Luna slowly leaned forward and lowered her mouth around Twilight's horn, but took care not to make contact. Twilight was trembling in anticipation.

The nightstick began slowly to move into Twilight's folds and Luna's tongue drifted up her horn, tracing out the groove of one of the spirals. Twilight groaned.

With a steady, simple rhythm both tongue and nightstick moved in harmony, undeterred by Twilight's moans and frantic squirming. Up and down, in and out.

The process continued as Twilight's bucking hips and twisting head lost rhythm and control. Luna took this as a sign to redouble her efforts. Her tongue pressed hard on Twilight's horn as she bobbed her head back and forth. At this same time, she made the nightstick start to vibrate.

Twilight couldn't withstand ten seconds of this treatment. She tensed, rigid, and let loose something close to a scream as she came. Her body shuddered twice and then sagged.

Luna stepped back and let Twilight recover. The nightstick flew back to its mistress, who pointedly licked its length as Twilight stared.

"Well, criminal? Do you have anything to say in your defence, or will I have to continue?"

A gasping Twilight replied, each word interspersed with a ragged breath, "I couldn't have stolen your slippers. You're still wearing them."

Luna looked down with apparent surprise, "Oh yes. How silly of me. They always in the last place you look, are they not? Oh well, no harm done; we shall magnanimously pardon you."

Luna couldn't hold a straight face as the stocks and manacles faded away. She stepped to a slightly disgruntled Twilight and they embraced. Twilight soon joined in with Luna's laughter.

They kissed and settled to the ground, flank touching flank and Luna's wing blanketing her lover.

"Didn't we already do stocks?"

"They are an evergreen classic, Twilight Sparkle. They're quick to set up, fun, and one of the safest ways to do a horn job, something you respond to very well. Also, you interrupted things before I could finish enjoying myself last time. Speaking of which, don't be too surprised if you find yourself in a large field of particularly 'horny' corn in the future. That corn wants to have its way with you."

"Please tell me you're joking - those leaves are rough."

"Hmm, good point. Maybe tentacles instead? Or snakes? How do you feel about snakes?"

"You put me in the middle of a field full of snakes and we are through," said Twilight, with absolute seriousness.

"Okay, tentacles it is," said Luna happily.

"No! I didn't mean..." Twilight was cut off by Luna's laughter.

The two lay side by side for a while, until Twilight started nuzzling Luna's neck. Mutual nuzzling and kissing ensued, escalating until Luna rolled Twilight onto her back and trapped her under her body. Twilight squirmed and wriggled delightfully, but was unable to escape.

Luna took this opportunity to nip at the ticklish Twilight's neck, causing her to laugh and squirm even more.

"I yield, I yield. Let me up."

Luna stood gracefully and allowed Twilight to rise. "You seem to have recovered your energy. Has your appetite returned, Twilight? Are you ready for the 'main course'?"

"'Sweet Trouble'? It sounds fun, but very vague. Is this food play?"

"Beautiful young mares should not accept personal guided tours from insane factory proprietors, as you will find, young Twilight Sparkle. Your innocent naivety and willingness to accept anything you are told may be your undoing. But fear not! Your endurance and ingenuity will see you through your tribulations, and if things become desperate then a cry for help may summon a mysterious heroine to rescue you," Luna waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Innocent and trusting mare in peril? I think I can do that," said Twilight with a grin.

"Remember: red, amber, green. And however many ponies you see, this is only you and me." Luna kissed Twilight and turned into blue mist which shot away, leaving Twilight standing alone in a circle of light.