Princess Luna flew furiously through the night. Princess Luna was thinking furiously too. Twilight Sparkle was unworthy. Certainly, she had saved Luna's life. Possibly twice. Maybe three times, if you counted Discord. Luna felt that that point was debatable. And yes, she had been brave enough to enter her royal chambers and break down the lonely walls that Luna had built around herself. And, well, yes, she had given Luna a plush spider golem that would have astounded the academics of Canterlot with its magnificent design. And Luna was forced to admit that the beautiful unicorn was incredible in bed and out of it. And she had been really understanding of Luna's own problems. And she gave fantastic wing massages. But still. She was clearly unworthy of the love and attention of a goddess.

Luna couldn't convince herself that she was right for one second, but that wouldn't stop her from trying. The next century or so would be miserable if she didn't succeed.

Mr Huggles hugged Luna's neck, strong plush spidery legs allowing it to cling on despite the pace Luna was setting. Twilight had really outdone herself with Mr Huggles. Twilight-

Luna had done the right thing. No question. A clean break might hurt (it did hurt), but it would heal for both of them soon enough and they could move on. Twilight to the multitude of suitors who would be queueing outside her library door, Luna to– to her own suitors!

Far better to end it now than let the relationship continue. Would she have had the strength to end it even in a week's time? If it had been kept going for much longer than those few, ecstatic, days, then who knows where they may have ended up? Even if went well? Stargazing dates? Being presented as marefriends to the court? Living together? Raising a family together? Watching her d-

No. Luna had done the right thing. It couldn't have worked and it was a foalish risk to try. Enough. No question. No doubt.

It had been so long since somepony had massaged her wings like that.

No. Project. She needed a project. When she got back to Canterlot. Back to her sister. Yes! Prank war! Perfect. She would prank her sister. Fill her bathtub with jello, maybe. Or cake. The expression on her face would be priceless. (The expression on Twilight's face when she came). No. (The expression on Twilight's face when Luna was shouting at her). No. No. No more thoughts about Twilight Sparkle. That was in the past. No More.

Project. Prank sister. Then leave before reprisals. A tour! A grand tour! It had been so long. Everything had changed. She could meet her new subjects. The ones who weren't Twilight Sparkle. Which was most of them. A tour. Manehattan. Vanhoover. Cloudsdale. Baltimare. Las Pegasus. Not Ponyville.

She would be majestic, flying in her chariot, pulled by her loyal Nocturnes. Yes, she would take her chariot. Which was still in Ponyville. No matter. She would send a Nocturne to go pick it up. They couldn't fly as well as her, but it would be in the castle by the morning after tomorrow. That would give her time to prank Celestia and be gone.

How long would it take to fill a bathtub with cake mixture? There would be plenty of it in the kitchens. So, fifteen minutes to sneak into the chambers. Five minutes to fill the bath with cake mixture. A few hours to bake it in an oven. Maybe a few days to build said oven around the bath. Twilight would help. No.

She could just leave the bath full of uncooked cake mixture. Not her most elegant prank ever, but it did have simplicity on its side. Yes, raw cake mixture it would be. She didn't need Twilight Sparkle.

The night was one of Luna's best. She had put a lot of effort into getting the constellations just right, full of promise and mystery. Nopony would see it. She had just wanted to please Twilight– No. Prank. Tour. Bathtub full of cake mix. Chariot.

Canterlot mountain was getting close.

She could get the whole prank done and be gone in an hour, and that would include the obligatory dancing in her room afterwards. 'Tia would have forgotten everything by the time she got back from the tour. She could do it tonight. She needed the chariot tonight. The chariot was in Ponyville. Her Nocturnes couldn't get it back to Canterlot tonight. Only an alicorn could get there and back with the chariot before sunrise. 'Tia would probably not be willing to fly out to Ponyville at breakneck pace to get Luna's getaway vehicle just so that Luna could prank her with impunity (although that would be an excellent division of labour). Luna turned around. She really didn't want to go back to Ponyville, maybe see Twilight's face again. It would be a mistake. She shouldn't go. She had no choice. Really.

------------------------

The chariot was still in the Town Hall stables where Luna had parked it several days before. She put Mr Huggles on it as the passenger; while she was starting to adore the spider golem, having it hug her neck while she was flying did cause a certain amount of drag. Even if it was really comforting.

"Huugs?" it asked plaintively, waving its forelegs eagerly.

Luna shushed it with a kiss and looked around for some rope to strap it in place. That done, she hitched herself in and took off.

Flying overhead, Princess Luna noticed Twilight Sparkle walking from her library to the outskirts of town. She looked sad.

Princess Luna flew away fast and unseen, wishing that Mr Huggles was still hugging her. And that the pain in her chest was caused by the exertion.

------------------------

Princess Luna was weary by the time she got back to Canterlot. She was just in time to lower the moon, which tired her out even more. The cold and lonely flight, combined with a deep fatigue, had confused her mind somewhat and she was now trying to remember how her grand tour of Equestria in a bathtub full of cake-mixture was going to impress Twilight Sparkle. She decided to sleep on it, and carried Mr Huggles to her bed chambers.

------------------------

Princess Luna had left her rooms unoccupied for several days whilst in the middle of a prank war with her sister. Historically this had proven to be a tactical blunder on par with defending against a rampaging dragon with a week-old halibut.

Princess Celestia had broken into Princess Luna's chambers. Celestia had redecorated them all with light, airy, pastel pinks and yellows. Her bed, her carpet, her wallpaper, her decorations, all of it was pink. And yellow. And horrible.

A portion of Princess Luna's tired mind admired the amount of effort that her sister had put into the prank. Another portion of her mind mentally swapped cake mixture with red ants. A more practical portion of her mind pointed out that, unless Equestria had, in her absence, been contacted by a hitherto unknown colony of sentient anteaters, there would not be a bathtub-sized container of red ants in the kitchens and, furthermore, it was unlikely that sleeping in a bed with yellow sheets and a floral pink duvet would prove to be fatal for a goddess of her power. This sentiment won the debate and Princess Luna and Mr Huggles went to bed.

Revenge could wait. Twilight–

------------------------

Luna wasn't refreshed when she woke up.

It was still day. If she were to open the blinds and dismiss the enchanted darkness, brilliant sunshine could flood into the pink and yellow rooms.

They would still look grey.

Twilight would have laughed. Twilight would have done something unspeakably naughty to her with the yellow towels, delighting at Luna's divine affront.

Twilight Sparkle was probably enjoying the sunshine. With her friends.

Princess Luna didn't need her. Princess Luna needed several hundred kilograms of red ants. That's what Princess Luna needed. Well, several hundred kilograms of red ants and breakfast.

Princess Luna got up.

------------------------

The shower stall was large enough to fit Luna with ease. The shower head was powerful and invigorating. The water was the perfect temperature. Somepony had left a bar of lavender-smelling soap in the soap tray.

It was the worst shower Luna had ever taken in her long life.

------------------------

Princess Luna didn't know how many red ants she would need to fill Princess Celestia's bathtub. She obsessively tried to work out the answer as she headed to breakfast. Unfortunately, the only answer she could come up with was 'Twilight could work it out for me'. After some effort, she was able to distract her thoughts enough to say ''Tia could work it out for me', but asking her sister to calculate how many red ants it would take to fill 'Tia's bathtub would probably require more fast-talking than Luna was willing to do that early in the evening.

------------------------

Breakfast was tasteless. Celestia didn't know that Luna was back. Breakfast was alone.

------------------------

Luna didn't have anything to do after breakfast, so she went back to bed.

------------------------

Luna didn't need to see her moon to raise it. The pink was warm and comfy and Mr Huggles loved her even if nopony else did.

She was starting to like the pink.

------------------------

"Luna?"

...

"I've got your ugly blue bedsheets here if you want them... Unless you like the pink, that is..."

"Go away!"

"Luna? Is everything okay?"

"Go away!"

"Luna, did something happen? Did Twilight-"

"I SAID 'GO AWAY'!"

------------------------

Luna decided to simplify her life. She would get back to the basics. She would spend her time on only the most essential things. Like revenge.

She reluctantly dismissed the 'red ant' idea as impractical. Ant farms took forever to get enough livestock and ants were impossible to herd. That was okay. She had a friend. She and Mr Huggles would take on the world!

The next plan Luna came up with would require intensive training. Mr Huggles learned fast, but there was a lot to take in. Li'l Twi had shyly animated the golem during one training session and offered to help, but she retreated when Luna couldn't stop crying at the sound of her voice.

It was okay. Li'l Twi was a friend too. They would work together on other projects. Just not yet.

------------------------

It took several days to train Mr Huggles to drop onto Princess Celestia's head while she was taking a bath.

The shriek summoned nearly every guard in Canterlot and broke several nearby glass bottles. The mana blast threw Mr Huggles through the Canterlot Castle walls, over the Canterlot waterfall and several thousand feet into the deep forest below.

Princess Luna publicly declared the prank a grand success. She then spent the rest of the night frantically searching for him in the thick forest, aided by as many Nocturne pegasi as she could muster. Eventually, in desperation, she turned to Li'l Twi, who was only too willing to help, guiding the spider to the base of the waterfall so that he could be reunited with his mistress.

The little filly had a lot of inconvenient questions, but was easily persuaded that all was well between Luna and Twilight and duty had recalled Luna to Canterlot.

------------------------

"Are you feeling better?"

"Huugs."

"Good. I'm sorry my mean, nasty sister hurt you. Forgive me?"

"Hugs."

Luna hugged Mr Huggles back with delight.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me."

------------------------

Luna didn't feel like dancing. She didn't feel like going on a grand tour either. She didn't particularly feel like lying in bed and staring at the pink and yellow striped wallpaper and ignoring her sister's knocking either, but she had to do something.

------------------------

The doors to Princess Luna's chambers didn't have a lock. They did have a couple of fanatically loyal Nocturne guards, which would normally be more than adequate to keep out unwanted guests, but when Princess Celestia wanted to speak to her sister they weren't foolish enough to get in her way.

"Luna, I'm coming in."

Celestia could see through the enchanted darkness in Luna's room. Light cannot see the dark. She was troubled to see her sister hadn't returned her rooms to their normal style, but that was just one amongst a multitude of concerns she had for Luna.

Walking calmly to Luna's bed, she found Luna staring at the wallpaper and tightly hugging a suspiciously familiar looking plush spider. Luna didn't acknowledge Celestia's presence.

"Hello, Luna. I've been very patient but enough is enough. I'm worried about you."

The only hint that Luna gave that she heard her sister was a flicker of her ear. Celestia sighed and put a cushion from a nearby chair next to the bed for her to sit on. She ran a hoof through Luna's aetheral mane, pulling it away from her eyes.

"So what happened?"

...

"I received a letter from Twilight, the day after you got back," said Celestia when it was obvious that Luna wouldn’t reply, "She seemed very upset," Luna's ear flickered again, "I flew out to talk to her, but she wouldn't tell me anything other than that there had been an argument. She asked me not to talk to you about it. Normally I'd respect her wishes, but I'm worried about you."

"How is she?" whispered Luna.

"She's– she is unhappy. Her friends are helping her cope, I think. What were you two arguing about?"

"Nothing."

"You're both very upset over nothing?"

"Yes."

"Luna," said Celestia with a touch of frustration, "Is there a reason why a millennia-old battle-proven alicorn is behaving like a moping teenaged filly?"

"Go away."

"No. Grow up."

"Grow up? Grow up?!" Luna sat up in bed in her agitation, "Why should I 'grow up'? Growing up won't solve anything. Growing up will not stop the Nightmare from coming back. Growing up will not make Twilight immortal!"

"What?!" exclaimed Celestia.

Luna looked wary and clammed up.

"Luna, what was your argument with Twilight about?"

Luna hesitated, and then started talking.

"We– I– When she first came to me, she wanted to know what we were. What we could be. She was a wave of joy washing away a mountain of moon dust. She was young and happy and fascinating and I said we could be together as equals."

Celestia arched a interrogative eyebrow.

"I meant it. I– I could not bear to be alone again. If I had treated her like my lovers of old... I would be alone, with a pet. Something to keep me happy. I needed more. I was also unsure what your reaction would have been, seeing your favourite with a collar around her neck..."

Celestia paused at the thought. "You may have been right to be concerned. I do not think I would have reacted well to the sight."

"So we were lovers. I was happy. She was happy. We agreed to 'take turns' when–"

"I don't think I need to know that," interjected Celestia quickly.

"I am sorry. Everything was wonderful, but I didn't notice that I had fallen into my old habits," said a glumly introspective Luna, "I was taking control. I think she liked it. Then she hinted that she wanted to have the 'Nightmare' play with her."

"Why would she want–" Celestia caught herself, "Please disregard that question. Are you going to tell me what happened or are you just trying to rub my nose in your relationship with my favourite student?"

Despite it all, Luna threw a weak smirk at her sister but the smile didn't last and she returned to her narrative.

"I was terrified. I remember– I remember how it thought. How it controlled ponies. How it seduced them. I wouldn't give her to it. I set her an impossible challenge and hoped that she would give up and forget about it– What?"

Celestia brought her laughter under control to reply to her sister, "Luna, Twilight Sparkle does not fail 'impossible' challenges. She always finds a way. And expecting her to 'give up and forget'..."

"Yes, well, I know that now. I realised it the night before our argument. I realised that she wouldn't give up unless I outright told her no, and I couldn't keep saying 'no' forever. She just needed to look into my eyes and I would do anything for her. Almost anything..."

"You were afraid the Nightmare would come back? Take control? Of you and her?"

"She was just so eager. The Nightmare would have taken her in an instant."

"Carry on," said Celestia, a touch of cold in her voice.

"She was already unhappy, she could see I was getting controlling. I saw an opportunity and ended it."

"Luna," said Princess with some anger, "You know you can't lie to me..."

Luna looked up defiantly, but hung her head in shame a moment later.

"I intended to end it. Calmly. A star-lit walk, a long conversation. I would try to remain friends with her. But she kept interrupting me. She called me a liar. I got angry. She said she thought of me as an equal. I snapped. I threw my status in her face. I told her that she was below me–"

"Luna!"

"I did not mean it! It was an easy way out! I was fed up. If she was going to be–"

"Luna, Twilight Sparkle saved your life. And mine. She defeated Discord and King Sombra and you. Twilight Sparkle has mastered more magics in her scant years than you even know. What had you achieved when you were her age? What more do you want?"

"IT WOULD NOT WORK!" shouted Luna, "It could not work. Even if the Nightmare didn't take me, take her, it would still fail. What do I want? A lover who will not grow old and die before my eyes. I want a lover who will not grow a garden in my heart and then rip it out when old age or senility takes her. I want a lover who will not make me feel blessed and loved every day I spend with her when I know that she will one day die and leave me."

"Everypony dies, Luna. Everypony. What will you do? Hide your heart on your moon, filling it with dust, until your time comes? Or give it to another to fill with love, and trust that years of joy are worth the pain?"

"Go away."

Princess Celestia sighed.

"Or maybe you are right. Maybe you aren't equals of the heart. After all, Twilight Sparkle doesn’t behave like a filly."

Princess Celestia left.

------------------------

The dreaming had becomes vast in her absence. At nights, dreamers would swarm in, populating the darkness with iridescent bubbles which would shrink and grow and jostle against one another in a living foam. Surrounding it all was the darkness beyond dreams, absorbing the light of the dreaming like a great hall lit by a single candle.

Luna had a excellent view of the whole affair from a high vantage point above it all, cloaked in the darkness. It reminded her of the time she spent on the moon. At least then things were simple. You can get used to anything with enough time, and this cold and lonely noplace felt like home. She could brood here.

Luna was not conscious of time passing, only the slow contortions of the ever-changing dreaming. She barely noticed when one of the dreamwalkers started flying in her direction. As the figure got closer, she saw that it was not one dreamwalker, but two.

Derpy was not a graceful flier in the waking world, but her sleeping form was a little more agile. She managed to only overshoot Luna's position by a little, accidentally flip upside-down, fly backwards and overshoot again and then bring herself abreast. All this with the 'assistance' of a small filly, standing proud on her head and shoulders, giving helpful instructions like: "Faster! Faster!" and "Wheee! Do a barrel roll!"

Luna could have escaped the pair with ridiculous ease, but it would have been undignified. Crying in front of them would have been undignified too, so she settled on a calm smile.

"Miss Doo, Miss Sparkle. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

"Hi boss. My assistant wanted to speak to you. So I flew her up here. So that she could speak to you."

Li'l Twi, for her part, battled the absence of gravity to launch herself at Luna. Just before impact she pulled back a leg and delivered a kick to Luna's shin with all her might.

"You meanie!" was her battle cry.

The primary effect of the fell blow was to cause the filly to bounce off Luna and tumble backwards into the void until Derpy caught her tail in her mouth and pulled her back to her.

"Oops. Thanks, Derpy. You're the best."

If Li'l Twi noticed that her boss kept her tail clenched in her teeth, preventing the filly from attacking her boss's boss again, she was smart enough to not mention it. She was probably too busy fuming at Luna for it to register anyway.

"You meanie! I spoke with Twilight! How could you say that?! You meanie!"

"Little Twilight… Little Twilight!"

Luna's voice finally penetrated the filly's grief-fuelled battle rage and Li'l Twi calmed, a little.

"Little Twilight, I am sorry. My relationship with Twilight would not have worked. You will understand when you are older. You–"

"Booger head!"

"Little Twilight!" said Luna, shocked and offended.

"You think you're better than Twilight, but you're not! You were just hiding in you room when she found you. She's better than you–"

"I know!"

...

"Uh, then why did you–?"

Luna looked sorrowful. "I was afraid, Little Twilight. I was afraid that I would hurt her. I was afraid that the Nightmare would take me, and then her."

"What?! Twilight beat the Nightmare two years ago! She can handle that stupid old windbag! And so can you!"

"Little Twilight–"

"Do you want to be with her?"

"Yes, but–"

"Then apologise! To her."

"It is hardly that simple, child–"

"Apologise! Or I'll never speak to you again. Ever! And I'll take Mr Huggles away and hide him somewhere where you'll never find him."

"What? I do not–" started Luna, somewhat concerned.

"Apologise!" shouted Li'l Twi for emphasis, and then in a quieter voice to her colleague, "Um, thanks for the help, Derpy, but I kinda need to storm off right now, but I can't really fly, so could you..."

Derpy carefully positioned the filly back onto her back and turned back to the princess.

"Uh, I think we need to go away now, unless you need anything, boss?"

Luna fought several conflicting emotions, and settled for gently shaking her head.

"Right. 'bye boss."

Derpy turned and started the long descent back to the dreaming. Luna couldn't decide if the loop-the-loop half-way down was deliberate or not, but she could hear Li'l Twi's shrieks of enjoyment from a long way away.

------------------------

"You love, me do you not? You are not going to shout at me or kick me or tell me that I am wrong."

"Hugs?"

"You must see: it was the right thing to do-"

"Hugs?"

"No, you will understand with time. It would not have worked out."

"Hugs..."

"Now do not take that tone with me, young spider! I know what is best here. Us being together could have been a disaster. We are both happier like this."

"Huuuugs."

Luna sighed, defeated.