"Ponies, ponies! It's time we got our acts together! We have half an hour until curtain, and I want everyone to be ready to have some fun by then! So let's move it!"

Pinkie Pie was her usual exuberant self as she marched around backstage clapping her hooves. This was the premier performance of a pet project she and Discord had been working on called the Fourth Wall Theater Troupe. The concept was that Discord would find random stories, and Pinkie would reinterpret them for a pony audience. She was very excited to see how their first performance would turn out.

"Alright, let's see here," said Pinkie, taking a look at her clipboard. "Discord?"

In a flash of light, the Master of Chaos appeared before Pinkie's eyes.

"Eeeeyesssss?" he asked.

"What's the turnout like?"

"We've got a full house tonight," said Discord pleasantly. "Those tickets were selling like hotcakes. Partially because they were hotcakes."

"I knew my edible ticket idea would bring in the crowds," said Pinkie with a goofy grin. "Alright, now where's our animal wrangler?"

"Here I am!" Fluttershy called out, running up to Pinkie with a hummingbird, a duck, and Opalessence in tow. "I'm so sorry that I'm late, but Rarity wanted Opal to look her best for her theater debut."

Pinkie looked over at Opal, and indeed, she looked marvelous. It was almost as if she was going to a movie premier rather than actually performing in a play.

"A bit too fancy for the role, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. This is Rarity we're talking about, after all," said Pinkie with a shrug. "Hmm, now where's Rainbow Dash? She has a pretty big part in our production."

Fluttershy flattened her ears and hid her face behind her bangs. "Oh, um... Actually..."

"Hmm? What is it?" inquired Pinkie.

"I just came here from Rainbow Dash's house," said Fluttershy. "She says she has a sore throat."

Pinkie shrugged again. "So she's a little hoarse. What's the big deal?"

Discord summoned a drum set and played a rimshot.

"Y-you misunderstand. She's really, really sick," said Fluttershy. "She says she won't be able to make it today."

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Pinkie, getting into Fluttershy's face and pointing angrily at the clipboard with her hoof. "But she has only the second biggest part in the play! We can't do Apple Bloom and the Timberwolf without a timberwolf!"

"I-I'm sorry," Fluttershy whimpered. "I-I didn't have anything to do with it. Please don't be mad at me."

Pinkie sighed. "Sorry, Flutters. Got a bit carried away there," she said. "But still, this is not good. Not good at all. What are we gonna do?"

Discord stroked his goatee with his eagle talon. "Actually, I think I may have an idea," said he.

"You do? Oh, thank goodness," said Pinkie, breathing a sigh of relief. "Alright, what's your idea?"

"Just this," said Discord with a snap of his fingers.

Just then, a flurry of glowing green twigs appeared out of nowhere. The twigs began to connect together, taking the form of a familiar wooden golem. Once fully assembled, the creature snarled, bathing Pinkie and Fluttershy in its putrid breath. Pinkie wrinkled her nose while Fluttershy yelped and began shivering with fright.

"U-um, Discord?" Fluttershy asked timidly. "I-is that an actual timberwolf?"

"Well, I figured the play could use a bit more authenticity," said Discord with a shrug.

Pinkie began stroking her chin with her hoof. "Hmm. Well, I'm not too keen on the idea, but with Rainbow Dash sick, we don't have many other options," she mused.

"Uh, Pinkie? Please don't tell me you're actually considering this," Fluttershy whispered.

"Okay, I won't tell you!" said Pinkie with a wide grin. She then went back to her contemplation before giving Discord a nod. "Alright, we'll work with it. But you have to Pinkie Promise me that you'll be able to keep it under control."

Discord smiled, and summoned a cupcake. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," he said solemnly, reenacting the entire promise. As the cupcake disappeared into his eye, he blinked a few times and smacked his lips. "Mmm, red velvet."

Pinkie giggled. "Alright, I'm holding you to that," she said. "Fluttershy, you get the animals ready for their parts."

"O-okay," said Fluttershy, still worried about the timberwolf. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, and turned to the animals. "Alright, you three. Let's go over the script."

She then led her critter friends and Opal off to one corner. As Pinkie saw them off, she felt a tap on her hind leg. Turning around, she saw the star of the show, Apple Bloom.

"Oh, hey Apple Bloom!" she said cheerfully. "You excited?"

"Um, kinda," said Apple Bloom meekly. "Actually, I'm a bit nervous. I never had a big role in a play like this before. What if I mess up, and everypony starts laughin' at me?"

"Aw, don't worry about it," said Pinkie sweetly, giving Apple Bloom a pat on the back. "It doesn't matter how good we are, as long as we have fun and make everypony smile."

"I suppose," said Apple Bloom, offering a weak smile of her own. "Also, I don't really get the script."

"Hmm? What's wrong with the script?" asked Pinkie, tilting her head.

"Well, there kinda isn't one," said Apple Bloom, looking over the script in her hooves. "I mean, I don't get any lines."

"Well of course you don't, silly!" said Pinkie. "This isn't a speaking role."

"But aren't I the main character?"

"That doesn't automatically make it a speaking role," said Pinkie. "In fact, there are no other speaking roles besides the narrator."

Apple Bloom blinked. "Huh? I'm confused."

"It'll make sense once we get started," said Pinkie. "Just remember your cue, and you'll be alright."

"Land sakes! What's a timberwolf doin' here?!"

Pinkie and Apple Bloom looked up to see a horrified Granny Smith pointing at Discord's little pet.

"Oh, that," said Pinkie sheepishly. "Well, we were going to just have a puppet, but Rainbow Dash is out with a sore throat. So, we're using a real one instead."

"Ponyfeathers, child! Are you outta your cotton pickin' mind?!" Granny screeched.

"Yeah, I actually get that a lot," said Pinkie. "Don't worry, Discord Pinkie Promised me that he'll keep it under control."

"He'd better," Granny said with a snort. "But jus' in case, I'd better have some pots on standby. I've been dealin' with timberwolves since I was a filly, and those pots might be our only hope."

"Pots. Got it," said Pinkie, making a note on the list in her clipboard. "I'll see if we have any spares in the prop bin."

"Good," said Granny, looking over at Apple Bloom. "You alright, Apple Bloom?"

"I-I'll be fine," said Apple Bloom, looking at the timberwolf. "I know you'll protect me, Granny. Them timberwolves are no match for you."

"Darn tootin'!" said Granny with a wide grin. "Now, you need me to go over your lines with ya?"

"Actually, Pinkie says I don't have any lines," said Apple Bloom. "But I do know my cue."

"No lines?" asked Granny, taking out her reading glasses and looking over her own script. "Well, shut my mouth and call me an apple turnover. I don't have any lines, either. Pinkie, jus' what kinda play is this?"

"Like I told Apple Bloom, it'll make sense once we get started," said Pinkie. "Just remember your cue."

"Right, right. My cue," said Granny with a slow nod. Pinkie raised an eyebrow.

"You, do remember your cue, don't you?" she asked Granny Smith.

"Well, o'course I do!" said Granny. "It's uh... Eh... Um... What were we talkin' about again?"

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "Don't you worry, Pinkie. I'll help Granny Smith remember her cue."

"Thanks, Apple Bloom," said Pinkie with a smile. "You're a big help."

Apple Bloom smiled back, and then sighed as she led Granny off to the side. "I sure hope the other girls are havin' better luck in the orchestra..."

"Uh, are you sure this is the only instrument left?"

Sweetie Belle said this as she looked up at a tall bassoon leaning against a metal chair. The conductor, Noteworthy, gave her a shrug.

"I don't know what to tell you, Sweetie Belle," he said. "If you want to play in the orchestra, that's your only option."

"But don't you have anything smaller?"

Noteworthy raised an eyebrow. "That, kind of defeats the purpose of a bassoon. Nevertheless, I'll check backstage and see if there's a child-sized one for you."

With that, he marched off towards the back while Sweetie looked over the large instrument.

"Ah, don't worry 'bout it, Sweetie Belle," said Babs Seed, blowing back her combover as she cleaned her oboe. "Just think, this might be our big chance to get our Cutie Marks. That's why we're here in the first place, ain't it?"

"W-well, yeah. But I feel like I'm kinda in over my head with this one," said Sweetie, arching her neck and swallowing. "Babs, do you wanna trade?"

Babs gave Sweetie Belle a deadpan look. "You're kiddin', right? If you're gonna have trouble playin' that thing, why do you think I would be any betta?"

Sweetie sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry," she said. She then looked over to Spike, who was practicing his flute. "Oh, hi Spike! I didn't know you were here."

"Well, Pinkie said I'd be a natural on the flute. Don't know where she got that idea, but hey, it's Pinkie," said Spike with a shrug.

"Yeah, I hear you," said Sweetie. "Hey, do you wanna trade instruments?"

"Trade instruments?" Spike parroted, looking over at Sweetie. "Why do you want to trade instruments?"

Sweetie pointed to the bassoon.

"Ah," said Spike, giving a nod of comprehension. He then shrugged. "Well, sorry Sweetie Belle. I don't think I'd have much luck playing that thing, either. Unless I started hoarding again, but I don't think anypony wants that."

"Oh," said Sweetie, flattening her ears and casting her eyes downward.

"And what has you so troubled, little filly?"

Sweetie looked up and saw a friendly-looking grey mare wearing a pink bow-tie. Her eyes sparkled.

"Hey, aren't you Octavia, the famous cellist?" she said. "My sister listens to your band all the time. You're really good."

"Well, thank you," said Octavia with a chuckle. "But, it's actually called an ensemble."

"Huh. My sister keeps telling me the same thing, but I don't see the difference," said Sweetie, tilting her head.

"You and Vinyl both," Octavia muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing," said Octavia. "Anyway, what seems to be the problem?"

Sweetie Belle sighed. "Mr. Noteworthy says if I want to play in the orchestra, I have to play that thing," she said, pointing to the bassoon. "But it's too big for me."

Octavia smiled warmly. "Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about it," she said. "I had trouble getting used to my cello before I got my Cutie Mark."

"Really?"

Octavia paused, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "W-well, actually I had a foal-sized one growing up, so..."

"Oh," said Sweetie, her expression drooping. "You were just trying to cheer me up, huh?"

"Heh, guilty as charged," said Octavia, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Listen, I wish I could help, but..."

"SORRY I'M LATE!"

A loud, booming voice interrupted the conversation as a blue Earth Pony carrying a sousaphone galloped in. She stopped before Octavia, catching her breath.

"I was wondering where you were, Beauty Brass," said Octavia. "Dare I ask what happened?"

"I was *pant* supposed to *gasp* pick up Slick Licks *huff* for the show," said Beauty Brass between pants. "But he *puff* never showed up."

"Slick Licks?" inquired Octavia, raising an eyebrow. "I thought he only played jazz."

"Hey, a gig's a gig, kitten. Ms. Pie is payin' me a lot of bits for this little matinee."

Making his way down the steps was a dusty red Earth Pony stallion wearing shades, a purple pinstripe suit, and wing-tip horseshoes. His Cutie Mark was that of a clarinet, which he also carried in a case on his back. Beauty Brass made a beeline to the stallion, not looking the least bit pleased.

"YOU STOOD ME UP! THAT'S SO NOT COOL!" she shouted.

"Excuse me?" said Slick Licks, lowering his shades. "Who stood who up, kitten? We were supposed to meet at the Canterlot train station."

"We were?" said Beauty Brass with a blink. She then blushed. "Oh, sorry. I thought it was the Canterlot Gardens."

"Hey, chillax," said Slick Licks with a smirk. "It's no skin off my nose. I'm here, ain't I? Now, let's get ourselves tuned up for this swinging party."

He then took a seat next to Babs Seed, who couldn't help but stare in wonder.

"Whoa," she said, her eyes sparkling. "Is that Slick Licks? As in the Slick Licks, the best jazz musician in Manehattan? That's so rad!"

"He's really that good, huh?" said Scootaloo, making her way into the conversation.

"Good? Try great!" said Babs. "You tellin' me you never heard of him before?"

Scootaloo shrugged. "Sorry, Babs. I can't say that I have."

Babs chuckled. "Filly, you don't know what you're missin'," she said.

"Oh, Scootaloo!" said Sweetie Belle. "Do you wanna trade instruments?"

"Huh?" said Scootaloo, raising an eyebrow. "Since when do you like drums, Sweetie Belle?"

"Well, it's better than having to play this thing," said Sweetie, pointing to the bassoon.

Scootaloo folded her forelegs. "Sweetie Belle, if you think I'm going to be able to play that, you're crazy."

"Alright, everypony! Let's get ready! The curtain rises in ten minutes!" said Noteworthy, emerging from the back. All of the musicians took their spots. All, that is, except Sweetie Belle.

"Um, Mr. Noteworthy?" she asked. "Did you find a...?"

"Sorry, no," said Noteworthy, shaking his head. "You'll just have to make do, Sweetie Belle."

"B-but..."

"Oh, c'mon, Sweetie Belle," said Scootaloo. "You've gotten out of tough situations before, haven't you? If this is gonna lead to your Cutie Mark, you'll find a way."

"Hmm. Maybe you're right," said Sweetie, striking a thinking attitude. She then noticed her sister coming down into the orchestra pit.

"Oh, hello Sweetie Belle," Rarity said sweetly. "Pinkie said it was alright for me to come backstage and check up on you and Opal. How are things?"

A mischievous grin spread on Sweetie's face. "A lot better, now that you showed up," she said. "Actually, I was wondering if you could do a favor for me..."

Rarity felt a chill go up her spine. "I don't think I like where this is going," she said.

"Um, Pinkie Pie?"

"What is it now, Fluttershy?"

"Mrs. Duckworth has a problem with the script."

Pinkie raised an eyebrow, and took the script from Fluttershy's hooves.

"Now, why would that be?" she mused, flipping through the pages. "She doesn't have any speaking lines, so there's nothing to object— doyewwwww!"

Her eyes widened as she caught sight of a particular part of the script.

"Yeeeeeeeeeah, I see your point," she said. "Discord, could you take a look at this?"

Discord snatched up the script and summoned a broken pair of reading glasses. He looked over the script again and again before handing it back to Fluttershy.

"I understand your concern, dear Fluttershy," he said with a gentle smile. "Don't you worry your pretty little head. Your fine feathered friend is in very capable hooves, as well as a very capable talon and a very capable paw. I Pinkie Promise."

Fluttershy couldn't help but smile a bit. "Alright, I'll let her know," she said, turning back to the animals. "Oh, Opal! You shouldn't mess up your grooming like that! Rarity would have a fit!"

As Fluttershy got the animals under control, Pinkie looked up at the clock. "Five minutes to magic time," she said, taking another look at her clipboard. "Hmm. Where are those hunters?"

"I, actually don't think anypony applied for the role," said Discord.

"Really? Well, that puts us in a bit of a pickle," said Pinkie. "Who can we get on such short notice?"

"I'll handle that," said Discord. He then snapped his fingers, and summoned a sweet-smelling apple pie. After a few seconds, a curious noise was heard from above.

"Pie!"

All of a sudden, a streak of blue burst in from the ceiling and swiped the pie from Discord's paw. From the hole, two other pegasi flew in. Pinkie recognized them right away as the Wonderbolts.

"Oh, what the hay, Soarin'?!" Spitfire yelled in exasperation as Soarin' gobbled up the pie. "Ugh, I knew we should've eaten before practice."

"I'll try to remind you next time, Boss," said Rapidfire.

"Oh, hey there!" said Pinkie. "Um, I was wondering if you three would be interested in being part of a play we're working on."

"A play?" said Spitfire, raising an eyebrow. "I dunno, this is pretty short notice."

"Oh, don't worry. There aren't any lines or anything," said Pinkie. "All you gotta do is fly around. And we'll be sure to pay you handsomely."

Spitfire placed a hoof to her chin. "Hmm. Well, I don't think we had anything else planned today. What do you say, Rapidfire?"

"Shouldn't be that different from any other show we put on," said Rapidfire with a shrug. "What about you, Soarin'?"

Soarin' looked up from his pie. "Huh? Oh yeah, phure," he said with his mouth full.

"Perfect!" said Pinkie. "Discord, give them the script."

As Discord did so, Pinkie took a peek through the curtains. The place was packed with ponies, and she could hear the orchestra tuning up. She smirked.

"Perfect-a-mundo," she said, turning back to the cast. "Okey-dokey-lokey, ponies! Everyone take your places! It's time we gave Canterlot a show they'll never forget!"

There was a chorus of acknowledgment as everyone got into their positions. There was a round of applause, and the curtain began to rise. Pinkie's eyes narrowed, and a sly smile appeared on her face.

"It's showtime."