Applejack stared out the window as she put down her glass.  She'd just opened her new detective business, and after a promotion from the Cakes, she was expecting more action.  She wasn't going to get paid for sitting in an office, drinking whiskey.  Things hadn't being going too good on the ol' homestead either.  After Big Mac got sick, sales plummetted and they had to sell the farm.  Applejack didn't believe Granny Smith too much, that superstitious old mare, but when she told her she'd make a good detective, she believed her.  So that was how she got here.  She was a hard worker, perservering, but it was possible that the job wasn't as well suited to her needs as she thought.  That's what she told herself, anyhow.  But now she was stuck here, and she'd have to deal with it until they bought back the farm.  No dyin' is gonna happen, anyhow.  And though she didn't know it, her life and future was about to have a big change in those mext few moments.  Because at that moment, a sobbing, hysterical, wine-drinking Pinkie Pie shuffled into her office.  At this, the snoozy Applejack gave a start.  After summing up Pinkie's state, she knew the kind of case this was going to be.  Her lipstick was hap-hazard, smearing at the edges with tears, it looked as if she'd only put it on to look somewhat professional, but at this point, nothing was gonna help that.  She had on a lacy dress that reminded Applejack of the one she'd worn while failing at convincing those bison.  In fact, she was wearing the whole outfit!  It wasn't her imagination.  This was already looking bad.  After a few more choking sobs, Pinkie began to speak.  If you could call it that.  It was more like speak-sobbing-whining than anything, but Applejack could still understand her.  That was the most important part.

     "Oh Applejack!"  She began.  "I ne-e-e-e-ed your he-e-e-e-e-e-elp.  Would you plea-a-a-a-ase help me-e-e-e-e-?"

      "Calm down now sugarcube, why don't you-"

     "N-O-O-O-O-O!!!  My life is over!!"  She collapsed into a nearby armchair.

     "Listen, just tell me what it is you're comin' here for."

     "Well, *sniff* you see, *sniff*, it's a long story."

     "Yeah, well, ya know I got all day to hear if you'll be kind enough to tell."

     "Well, this involves a big secret.  One that I don't know if I'll be able to tell."

     "If you can give me the information without the secret, I'll take that."

     "I suppose I could make this a bit less personal...."

     "Go on."

     "Well, I-I-......... I have a very special somepony....."

     "Uh-huh."

     "And he's.........  well he's gone missing, and I fear the worst for him, oh Applejack!"  Tears rose up in her eyes again.

     "So-o-o-o.........  That's all the info you have on the subject?  Can you give some names, dates, somethin'?"

     "His name's Candy Cake.  He's grey, and his cutie mark is a pin and some balloons, he's got a short mane, oh, why don't I just show you this photograph!"  The photograph showed the same pony as Pinkie's description; a philly chasing some butterflies.  

     "The last time I saw him, he was leaving on the train.  And after he moved to Baltimare, no one heard of him again!"

     "Now what about the day the train left?  Any suspicious behavior?"

     "He's always been a bit of a downer, but nothing really seemed suspicious about him, I guess."

     "About the cost, how 'bout you pay me half now and the rest when I solve this whole thing, alright?"

     "How much do you cost?"

     "Well, I'd say about 1000 bits altogether."

     "Applejack!  You silly goose! you know I'm just living on a baker's salary, do you really expect me to pay that?"

    "Fine, for friends I'll only charge 850."

     "Lemme just look in my purse........"

     A mad search ensued.  Applejack hoped she would actually be able to get Pinkie to pay.    

"I know I'm a detective, but if you notice anything, you keep me posted, alright Pinkie?"

     "OK Applejack, I know you'll be able to help me out!"

Pinkie paid the money and trotted out of the office on a happier note.

     And this was the beginning of the story.

Applejack figured the first she'd do would be to pour herself another drink.  

     "Shoulda got more information outta Pinkie."  She mumbled to herself.  Now how exactly would some philly go missing?  He'd have to be either dead or kidnapped, and why anyone would want to kill this nopony was beyond her.  At this point, because of the importance of the case, Applejack thought she'd go and check out that train for evidence, detective-like stuff like that was sure to point her in the right direction.

                                                                                     *     *     *    

Applejack walked up to the station.  After doing her research, she thought she had found the exact train that Candy had left on.  Now she'd have to explain her case to the conductor.  He was on break, eating a sandwich.

     "Excuse me Mr. conductor, but could I have but a moment of your time?"

Now with the sandwich in his mouth it sounded like he was saying

     "Wh-fhmt-is-it?"

But in actuality he was saying

     "What is it Ma'am?

     "I'm a private investigator, and I have this case, you see, so I was thinking I'd have to do some investigatin' on this here train."

     "Well ma'am, some of my passengers are probably going to have an objection to that, so unless you're gonna convince them to get off the train, you'll have to do the investigation with a few living blockages.  Other than that, I don't mind."

This would be a problem.  But, Applejack coud just work around those ponies!  Right?  Maybe?  This case was already going down the cider squeezer.  She'd just have to ask kindly for those ponies to move, so she could do her work.

     Upon entering the train, Applejack began dusting for hoofprints.  Then she realized that there would be so many hoofprints, she'd never find the one she was looking for.  She needed to call Pinkie and get more info.  But why call Pinkie when she could look for him in the archives?  She needed to get off this train and go to Mayor Mare.  What a waste of my time!  Applejack, you need to pull yourself together!

     While walking to the mayor's office, Applejack thought she saw Pinkie again.  Was she hiding behind that bush?  

     "Pinkie?  Is that you?"

She was sure she could hear some sniffling over there!  After inspecting the bush, it was clear that somepony had been there, but left before Applejack could get there.  Perhaps there was a trail? Applejack pondered.  A few broken branches led her into the Everfree forest.  Why would Pinkie be in the Everfree forest?  Rare cupcake ingredient?  She continued along the trail until she came to a clearing.  She would have kept walking, but the sight of two ponies halted her.  This could be important for her case, and she didn't want to miss it.  After squinting her eyes a bit, she found the two ponies to be Pinkie and Doctor Whooves!  Those two?  Together?  Oh God.  This was probably the secret Pinkie was talking about.  Applejack muffled a gasp of surprise, but then the tension released naturally.  She was probably just getting her hopes up.  She'd have to listen for more, that's what she'd do.

     "Oh Doctor!  I was afraid you wouldn't come!  After I heard the news, I had to come see you!"

This really was Pinkie and the Doctor.  And it wasn't on time-traveling business either.

     "Pinkie, it's the middle of the day.  This is a really bad time, don't you think?"

     "He's missing!  In that case, it's never a bad time!"

     "I understand Pinkie, but we never should have met.  Someone will see us."

     "But Doctor!  You can't just leave me like this!"

     "I have to Pinkie, I have to!"  Pinkie began crying loudly.

     "Pinkie!  Are you nuts!  I should leave now.  Goodbye, Pink Princess."

Applejack didn't have time to hear Pinkie's sappy reply.  That was her cue to get the hell out of there before she was seen by anyone.  She ran out of the forest, still curious about the whole affair.

                                                                                       *     *     *

Applejack, rather than going to town hall, decided that after her encounter, she'd go back to her office for some thinking.  Well, it's been confirmed now that Pinkie has more that a few "special someponies".  Perhaps I should check all of their records, then.  A bird sat on the windowsill.  One of those annoying, sing-songy ones.  Chickadee, I think.  Applejack, getting tired again, was lulled to sleep by the sound of the bird.

     Next Chapter: Two ponies walk into a bar..... Estimated time remaining: 8 Minutes