“So let me get this straight, all I have to do is go in there, enter that bowling competition, and I’m free to go?” Rainbow Dash asked, pointing into the bowling alley.

“Yep, that’s all you have to do. And then we’ll be even for the… Snoot issue,” Discord said, snapping his fingers. A white polo shirt and bowling bag appeared on Rainbow Dash’s body. “Have fun! I’ll be watching,” he said as he faded into thin air.

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and walked inside. Sure, it wasn’t going to be easy winning against ponies who had bowling cutie marks, but it could be a lot worse… right?

“Name?” a bored looking pony asked at the counter.

“Rainbow Dash!” she replied, handing over the entry fee of ten bits.

“Good luck…” he replied in a completely emotionless voice.

The room suddenly became deathly quiet as the doors squeaked open and the radio playing throughout the bowling alley changed to cheesy music. The clerk scrambled to look dignified as a pony in a purple shirt and hairnet walked in with a confident stride, placing ten bits on the table.

“Jesus Pezuna, nice to see you again,” the clerk said shakily, entering his name in. The pony named Jesus nodded at him, walking past Rainbow Dash and taking a seat. He gave her a nod, sending chills down her spine.

“It’s like he’s groping you with his eyes,” a large stallion in shades beside her whispered. “You know he’s a foal molester, I heard he did jail time for…”

“Drop it, Walter,” a stallion snapped. He sported a rather bushy mustache and goatee, and his mane was parted down the middle. “Name’s Jeff Letrotski, but you can call me ‘The Dude’. The pony beside me’s Walter, and the skinny one puking in the trash can is Donny. Haven’t seen you around here.”

“I’m Rainbow Dash, and I’m gonna win this thing!” Rainbow Dash said, smiling. “Good luck!” She offered her hoof to The Dude.

“Yeah? Well that’s just like, your opinion, man,” The Dude said, completely emotionless.

"What's a man?" Rainbow Dash asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know, man," The Dude said.

Donny came over, wiping his face. “You’d have to be pretty good to beat Jesus,” he said, grimacing. “Ugh, looks like it’s HIS turn.”

Jesus walked up to his lane, setting his bowling ball on the ground. He then proceeded to lick the ball all over, staring into his reflection with a creepy gaze as Rainbow Dash watched in disgust. Ten seconds later, he finally nudged the ball forward, miraculously knocking over every pin in a strike. Jesus spun around snapping his hoof towards the ground and nodded cockily at The Dude before doing the same thing to a second ball.

“Are your bowling matches usually… this dramatic?” Rainbow Dash asked Donny, who seemed to be the only sane one around here. He nodded shakily. Rainbow Dash didn’t blame him, anypony would feel uncomfortable being around Jesus.

“My turn,” The Dude said, stepping up to the lane. He set the ball in the center, turned around, and bucked it with his hindleg, sending it flying straight down the lane into a perfect strike, repeating the same perfect kick for a second strike not long after.

“Whoa. These ponies are good,” Rainbow Dash said softly. Jesus paid The Dude no attention, busy shining (or perhaps cleaning) his bowling ball awkwardly with a strip of white cloth.

“You’re up, Rainbowski,” The Dude said as Rainbow Dash moved up and took her spot on the lane.

“Darnit… I hate losing…” she grumbled. But she had never even touched a bowling ball before, how would she… Her gaze drifted downward towards the oddly colored ball in her hand. Discord’s face winked back at her. “Oh. I get it,” she smiled, setting the ball down and nudging it forward. It immediately veered towards the gutter.

“Ha! Gonna win this thing! You’d much sooner…” Walter began, then stopped as the ball jumped over the gutter, knocked over all the pins in the surrounding lane, jumped back, and cleared Rainbow Dash’s lane.

“What? That’s cheating!” Walter bellowed, pulling out a handgun from who knows where and firing it into the air with his mouth. Unfortunately for him, he forgot he was indoors and a shower of plaster rained down on his head, followed by a heavy ceiling light that knocked him unconscious.

“You’re just jealous of my mad bowling skills,” Rainbow Dash bragged, rolling another Discord ball down the lane. It stopped, pulled the first pin up in its arms, and danced a graceful waltz, knocking over the other pins in the process, before dropping its dance partner.

“Can’t say I’ve ever seen anything like that before, but you still won’t beat the Jesus,” Jesus said, taking his spot.

“What just happened, man?” The Dude asked, staring at Rainbow Dash oddly. Several hours later, Jesus, Rainbow Dash, and The Dude were the only three left in the match.

“Please, let Jesus destroy your face,” Jesus said, gracefully rolling the ball down the lane and knocking down eight of the ten pins.

“Looks like it’s a split,” Donny said nervously. “You might have a chance, Dude!”

Jesus smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at Donny before knocking down both pins with an expertly aimed bowling ball.

“Alright, this is it, man,” The Dude said, bucking a bowling ball hard down his lane. All but one of the pins fell down. He followed up shortly, finishing his round with a spare.

“Time for The Dash to take home the gold!” Rainbow Dash cheered, completely in the moment as she hurled the Discord ball down the lane. The ball touched the ground, rolling slowly towards the pins. “Huh?” Rainbow Dash said, as all eyes on the room turned to the ball as it stopped just before the pins. “No fair!” she shouted. The ball exploded, the force of the shockwave rippling throughout the bowling alley and knocking down every pin in every lane. “YES! IN YOUR FACES!” She squealed at The Dude and Jesus, then turned towards the clerk. “I do win, right?”

The clerk glanced down at the unconscious Walter. “Well, it doesn’t seem like anypony around here really gives a feather about the rules, so yeah. Congrats, I guess.” Jesus and The Dude hung their heads in shame as Rainbow Dash strutted her way out the door with a bowling trophy.

“Well, looks like we’ve met our match,” The Dude said to Jesus as they, too got up and left.

“Don’t leave me behind!” Donny said, racing after them. The door swung shut as Walter regained consciousness, shaking bits of plaster off of his mane and readjusting his sunglasses.

“Am I the only one around here?” he asked, examining his surroundings.

Next Chapter: End of Part Two: Spike's Flame Estimated time remaining: 45 Minutes