A father should always be there for his children...his daughter...

He's got to answer the questions she asks, from the silly small ones, to the very important big ones.

Sometime...he has to lie, even if he doesn't know it at the time.

How many promises do fathers make to their children, promises they know will have to be broken?

I'm lost...I wish I was home... I need to be home

Applejack, Applejack, Applejack...the second little bundle of joy added to their family, and probably not the last. One of the many things the Apple Family could be proud of the was size and strength of their family. Their gatherings were most certainly a sight to behold, so bright and loud and simply...full of life. And often the cause of many noise complaints from the main town of Ponyville, though that never did much to deter their partying.

It was at Applejack's first family gathering when he'd made his first promise to her. She'd been so small then, but had been absolutely determined to be a part of every moment of her life. Everything started off so well at first, he had proudly carried his daughter through the crowds of relatives on his back, doing his best to hoist her as high as possible in order to give her a view of all the festivities.

Then he had set her down for a moment, just a moment. Brother Orange or Cousin Pear, he couldn't quite remember anymore, needed to talk to him about the finer points of barn raising and while that was a topic he was certainly an expert on, it wasn't something you could talk about with a child scampering around for your back.

"Stay here," he'd said, foolishly assuming that she'd listen to him. Of course, after a few minutes of conversation she was nowhere to be found. He hadn't meant to lose her, how did these things happen? More importantly, could he find her before his wife realized what he'd done?

He had torn through the gather as fast as his legs could carry him, looking into every nook and cranny that could hide an inquisitive filly, but all to no avail. He was just about ready to climb on top of a table and start screaming her name when his eyes spied an incredibly curious site. A filly happily gorging herself on a large pile of apple fritters beneath one of their many picnic tables.

Of course, where else would she go besides the table that served her favorite food.

"Don't ever scare me like that again Applejack!" he said to her after pulling her away from the food.

Immediately he'd known his tone had been too harsh. He had meant to sound concerned, not angry, but the tears that began to well up in his daughters eyes showed him exactly what his words had done.

He hadn't meant to sounds cruel, hadn't meant to make Applejack sad.

It was always so strange to him, the profound effect a few tears could have one him. It could transform his daughter, a young filly he already viewed as one of the most precious things in existence, into a pure paragon purity and innocence. Something he would do anything in his power to make smile again.

He had always heard that fathers were always meant to be the tough parent, but no matter what he tried he could not fit himself into that role.

"Hey, it's okay Applejack," he said, setting her down on a picnic bench. "Sometimes dads just sound angry when we're scared. But we don't mean it, not really."

"Really really?" the words from his daughter were quiet and meek, he had known he would need to say something more significant to get her trust back.

"Really really. And how about this? We can make a promise so that I never need to be scared or sound angry again," he'd prayed that this would work.

"What kind of promise?"

"A good promise, one from each of us. If I promise not to leave you again, you promise not to wander away from me. We'll be partners in crime, does that sound good?

"Okay dad," his daughter nodded, a smile slowly creeping on to her face.. "I promise I won't sneak away from you again."

"And I promise I won't leave you again."

And then there it was, the smiling face of his daughter who was simply happy to be spending time with her father.

But that promise would stick with them far longer than he had expected.

I will never forgive myself if I do something, anything, to let her know...

It seemed from that day onward Applejack stuck to him like glue. She would be waiting for him the moment he woke up to tag along for the morning chores. He assumed she'd grow bored quickly but there she was, constantly prancing behind the plow as he dug up the fields, happily gathering up the apples he bucked from the trees, and doing her best to raise the beams meant to support their new barn. Day after day after day she was with him.

Of course this wasn't completely one sided. If his daughter ever had the inkling to go off sightseeing or adventuring he'd, of course, have to go with her.

From these escapades he was sure that he'd met at least thirty or forty new ponies from Ponyville, some from simple circumstances such as bumping into them while following his daughter through the town, and many others through...less than respectable occurrences.

"So why was your daughter clambering around on my rooftop?" a blue mare was giving him a very respectable stare down as he awkwardly stood in her kitchen.

"She wanted to see if there was a faster way to get around town instead of using the roads," he tried to say as nonchalant as possible.

"And why didn't you stop her?"

"Well I needed to catch up with her first."

"Over the rooftops?" he was starting to suspect her gaze the was literally burning the hair on his face.

"They seemed to hold her weight well enough."

"You do realize you are larger than your daughter, don't you?"

"Of course! Well...I mean..."

"So you will be paying to replace my roof?"

"Dad! Hurry up!" sheepishly, he glanced upward to see his daughter's face peering over the edge of a him sized hole in the roof that had unceremoniously dumped him into this mare's kitchen.

"...yes."

He'd definitely not meant for many of those incidents to happen, but overall it seemed that promise had been great for the both of them. It gave them an easy excuse to spend time together. But a promise like that isn't something you can keep forever.

Sometimes things happen, even if you don't mean them to, and all you can do is...all you can do is...

"She's not going to say goodbye?" he had asked his wife.

"Of course not, she's still up in her room fuming at you," his wife shook her head. "You should try to say something to her before we leave."

"But I don't know what to say! This is just a short trip to go to your brother's wedding," the second he had announced the trip to Applejack she'd become furious and had retreated to her room.

"Obviously it's more than that to her than that. Hurry, go talk to her. We're leaving soon," she pointedly jerk her head towards the stairs that lead to Applejack's room.

"Right," he turned away and cautiously began to walk up the stairs. He paused in front of his daughter's bedroom door, wondering if he should knock not. Realizing that she wouldn't answer even if he did, he instead pushed the door slowly open.

Her room as quite the mess, boots and jackets strewn over the floor with ever drawer of her dresser pulled out haphazardly, though to be honest that wasn't too far the norm. What really grabbed his attention was Applejack lying on the bed, her head firmly jammed into a pillow.

He hadn't meant for this to happen.

"Applejack?" he said, walking over to the bed, doing his best not to trip over the piles of clothing.

"Go away," came the muffled reply.

"Applejack, what's wrong?" he tried again.

"What do you think?" a thrown pillow followed this reply. Quickly ducking under the attack he moved closer to his daughter.

"I think I have a very grumpy child that I would like to be less grumpy. The biggest problem is that I can't do that unless she tells me why she's so grumpy," he attempted to make his voice sound a bit more stern than normal, to maybe come across as serious for once in his life. It seemed to work as Applejack rolled over slightly so that he could see her face.

It was not a cheerful face.

"You're leaving me for some silly wedding," she said after a few moments. "You didn't even give me a chance to go."

"You mean for your uncle Orange? Applejack, you don't to go to that wedding, there's nothing fun for you to do there," plus the invitations had specifically said not to bring children. His brother and soon to be sister-in-law were nowhere near being fans of young ponies.

"So? You're still leaving me all alone here..." Applejack's eyes narrowed slightly, not a good sign.

"You're not gonna be alone, you've got your brother and Granny Smith to make sure you don't get up to too much trouble," he tried to explain.

"That doesn't matter! You're leaving me dad! You're breaking your promise!" Now he could clearly see the distraught in her face, and he mentally kicked himself for being so oblivious. Of course this was what had made her so upset, he hadn't realized because, well...

"Applejack it's only for a few days and-"

"That's like forever dad! And you said you'd never ever leave," she cut him off.

"Well...I..." he stopped talking, trying to think of a way out of this. He didn't want to admit to breaking his promise, he didn't want to be that kind of dad.

What to do...what to do...

He absentmindedly tapped the brim of his hat when a plan popped into his head.

"Okay Applejack, how about this?" in one smooth motion he took off his hat and neatly place it on her head where it quickly fell over her eyes. "That's my very very favorite hat, I haven't left it behind somewhere for as long as I can remember. It's a part of me."

Applejack moved the hat up a bit, looking very confused.

"I'm going to leave this hat with you, and I want you to take extremely good care of it. As long as that hat is here, a part of me is always with you, understand?"

Applejack removed the hat from her head and looked it over. He hadn't been lying when he said he couldn't remember the last time he'd forgotten his hat, it was old and worn felt, weathered down over the years until he was surprised that it still held together. He had to admit though, Applejack seemed to wear it better than he ever did.

"I think so Dad, as long as I've got this you're not really gone. Plus...you'll always come back to make sure I kept the hat safe right?"

He couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"Of course Applejack. You see? I always keep my promises, I'm always going to be here for you," he rubbed the top of her head and carefully placed the hat back on her. "Now, can you take care of your brother and granny while we're at the wedding?"

"Yeah!" she saluted him. "You can count on me dad!"

He had to smile, what else could he do?

I'm sorry Applejack

It had stopped hurting, that had surprised him, he didn't think it would ever stop.

I need to get home, I need to get back

He couldn't move, couldn't feel anything. But he had to try, he had to. He would never forgive himself if he didn't give everything he had.

And he knew Applejack would never forgive him either.

We should've stayed, stayed home, stayed with them

How had this happened, how had everything gone wrong so quickly.

It shouldn't have happened, he didn't mean for it to happen. So many thoughts and images were running through his mind, but the one thing he could focus one...was his daughter.

Applejack sitting at home, the hat firmly on her head, and waiting for him to return. Waiting for the longest time.

Please, I need to go back! I need to stay with her, I need...I need...

There was nothing left in him, he was tired, exhausted. He couldn't get up...couldn't get home.

He would never be home again...he would never see his children again.

He could never apologize for not keeping his promise. For not being there, for not seeing them grow, not seeing them become the amazing ponies he always knew they would.

For not making the kind of promise he could always keep.

I'm sorry Applejack...I'm sorry that I'm not there...

He could barely even think now.

Be safe...be strong...stronger than me...

I love you...

Author's Notes:

100% on time. One more chapter. A short one, gimme a day or two.

You ever see Lady In The Water? Not a good movie, but it does have some good scenes, especially where this guy has to admit his grief over his dead family.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjhAKyiRL0k