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Fathers

by Grayson Gears

Chapter 4: Broken Things

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A father should always be there for his children...his daughter...

He's meant to make her life better. To do whatever he can to help her...

Yet, for the life of him, he had never been able to truly understand his little daughter. To truly be there for her...

He was strong, he was extremely proud of that fact. You could practically see the muscles bulging beneath his skin, his wings spread far and wide. It took only a few beats before he was up in the air, rising above the clouds.

His strength was everything to him, it defined him, gave him a purpose as he fought through the storms that would attack their land. Though he had never had to try it, he was sure that by himself he could fight back an entire hurricane.

Well...he wasn't so sure anymore...

That tremendous strength of his had offered no help as he tried to understand that small yellow pegasus.

Little Fluttershy, his daughter...

He'd tried, tried to hard to understand her, to shape into something they could be proud of...everypony could be proud.

But it all seemed to shatter in his hooves.

All those broken things...looking back now it seemed their relationship was built almost entirely on broken things. Some were so small, easily forgotten as time passed him by. Others were more important, with the blame focused heavily on either of them.

With those there had always been the chance of rebuilding.

But there were three things, those three moments when things had been shattered that could never be repaired.

Those three things had forever shaped how he and his daughter viewed each other.

He moved through the quiet house and found himself staring out a window. It was a beautiful day, though he already knew that since he had helped craft it, and dozen of ponies were happily flitting through the midday sun, either going through their daily business or looking for the perfect place to relax.

He could not find it in himself to go to them. Instead his eyes were drawn to a small corner on the edge of the cloud where his home sat. There...right there was where it had all began. Where things had started to break.

Fluttershy had always started out so small, something that just never seemed to fit. He was tall and sturdy while his wife was tough like an iron whip. However, she grew fast, always ahead of the other ponies around her. When he first sent her to flight camp she almost seemed a head taller than everypone else.

But even with that...she still managed to look small.

She lacked confidence, always walking hunched over with her head stooped to the ground. It was almost like she was trying her hardest to disappear into the background.

That wasn't the way to live, he didn't want that for her. He wanted to help.

She just needed confidence...he could give her that. All it would take was a few flying lessons...

It was a surprise for her one day when she came home from flight school. He'd been ready and waiting for her, an instructor's hat on his head with a small flying course laid out behind him.

"Welcome to your afternoon lessons!" he'd announced to her.

Maybe he should have paid more attention to the look on her face when she saw the course...

Maybe he should have done a lot of different things.

But that look was soon gone, replaced by one of timid readiness, a quickly constructed mask as he would later discover. But until then there was nothing but training.

They started out slow of course, the most important parts of flying were always the basics. Even an expert could be cast out of the sky if they forgot the proper angle to tackle an oncoming gust of wind.

Lessons like this Fluttershy excelled at,she almost seemed happy as he paced in front of her, explaining proper wing technique when going through the sky. At first he was worried that she might be simply nodding along with him, letting such important information pass her by, but when he would throw surprise quizzes at her she would easily answer with pinpoint accuracy.

He was so sure his class was working, but then came the practical application.

He brought her to the start of his homemade course and with a nod of his head, told her to start...

Things went wrong almost immediately.

She started off too fast to pull up over the first obstacle, a small cloud wall, and was forced to awkwardly shift her wings which sent her into a wild spiral. He was nearly flying after her by the time she got herself back under control. Sheepishly, she flew back to the beginning of the course but he just shook his head.

She needed more practice.

So they kept at it, over and over again. He would spend a few more days going over flight techniques and would place her once more at that course.

And every time she would hardly last a minute.

It was like she forgot everything he'd taught her the moment she started to flap her wings. True she may be flying in a slightly straighter spiral each time, it wasn't good enough.

He still had hope for her, but that last day had been the end of it.

They had been practicing as usual, with him giving advice as she moved very slowly through each obstacle of the course when the weather had taken a sudden and dramatic turn for the worse.

He'd learned later that some rookie weather shaper had lost control of a massive batch of rambunctious rain clouds that, when freed, quickly celebrated by joining together to form a massive storm front.

What that meant for them was that a normal afternoon had suddenly been catapulted into a heavy rain storm.

It was not the strength of the storm, but its suddenness that pulled him away from his daughter. Fluttershy fared no better, being flung from their cloud yard into the open air.

For a few seconds the world blended into a confusing mess. Inside out and upside down he tumbled through the air, the rain drenching him in a matter of moments.

But then his instincts took over.

Straighten your wings out, you need to find the current, figure out which way you need to go...

A strong updraft right...there! He managed to latch onto it, righting himself and steadying his flight course.

Try to find a familiar landmark to orient yourself, the sky is very big and quite easy to get lost in.

Luckily he had not gone too far and was able to spy their home through the pouring rain.

His daughter however...was another matter entirely.

Above all else, don't panic.

"Fluttershy!" he tried to scream over the storm and he flew around anda round their home, looking for any glimpse of her yellow coat or pink mane, the stinging rain forcing him to keep his eyes narrowed to a squint.

She should know what to do, she has to know what to do! Flying in turbulent weather was one of the first things they went over!

The rain was getting heavier, he could barely hear himself over the din.

He was growing desperate, there was nopony but him around to find his daughter, and if he couldn't find her...

Don't panic...

No, that wouldn't happen. He was strong, stronger than any pegasus. This storm would not be what defeated.

Another lap around his house and he managed to catch something out oft he corner of his eye. A tiny gray cloud was hovering below the storm front. In fact, looking closer, it almost looked like it was...shivering.

Could she be...

Quickly he flew over and peered over the edge of the cloud. There in the middle, curled up into a ball and completely soaked, was his daughter.

"Fluttershy?" her eyes shot open and he could see how red they were. She must have been crying.

"Dad!" she leapt forward, wrapping her hooves around his neck. "I'm sorry, I couldn't figure out what to do! The wind just kept tossing me everywhere and I couldn't find you! I was so scared..." looking closer he saw how ruffled the feathers were in her wings. She must had tried to fly directly against the storm rather than with it...the complete wrong thing to do.

Finally she must have grabbed a stray cloud out of desperation and just..waited, hoping that somehow she'd be found.

He was so happy he had.

"Are you okay now?" he asked. She just sniffled and nodded her head.

"Can we go home?"

"Of course," he gathered her up in his hooves and together they had flown home. On the way, even with the rain and wind, he could not help but look down at the precious bundle in his hooves.

He saw his daughter...but he also saw so much more. He saw her utter terror from the storm, he saw the trails of tears down her cheeks, he saw her wings...the feathers ruffled and bent by the storm.

He saw what she would never be.

He teaching would never work, would never bring her the confidence he wanted her to have. She was never going to be like him, a strong a confident flier.

No matter what he did she was always going to be so...small...

And then it broke.

That bond, so slim, but with a small chance to grow stronger, shattered into countless pieces.

His faith in her.

There were no more lessons after that, something he doubted Fluttershy minded much at all. But that didn't mean that he saw any less of her. She adore him now, the 'Greatest Dad in the world' who saved her from a terrifying storm. The moment she was home she would begin following him around the house, asking about his day and talking about hers.

It got a little unbearable at times.

"Well I don't think it can be that terrible having to listen to our daughter," his wife told him late one night.

"It's just that she's always asking me for help with anything she does, there's barely enough hours in the day for all of it," he tried to explain. He could never deny her when she asked for his assistance, though he tried with everything he had.

"Well what do you expect? You're her hero after all," that comment had a smug smile attached to it.

"But...I can't do everything for her. I'm not always going to be there for her..."

"But how exactly are you supposed to decide on what to help her with and what to ignore?" she leaned over and nuzzled him affectionately. "Stop worrying so much, this is my first time raising a child too, remember? I'm sure she'll grow out of it soon enough, I've heard they all do. Until that happens, you can be her hero."

"Well..." he gave a small flex of his muscles. "I guess I am pretty heroic looking."

"There you go, now let's get some sleep."

So he continued to help her,

"Um, dad? The clouds are blocking out all the sun, it's too cold outside," even when talking to him, she still sounded so meek.

"Don't worry, I can fix that," he took off into the air, clearing a small hole in the sky, letting the warm sunlight spread down to their home.

"Um, dad?" All requests seemed to start the same. "Can you lift up our sofa? I dropped something underneath it."

"Of course," the task was almost effortless, the couch barely weighed a thing. Fluttershy quickly grabbed a toy from underneath and gave him a hug as a reward.

"I think there's a monster in my room!"

"I can fix that..." he 'scared' the monster away.

"The other ponies at school are mean to me..."

"I can fix that..." them he scared for real, not too much, but enough so they'd leave his daughter alone.

So the days passed by like this, on and on, him helping with anything she could possibly need. Fixing her problems, taking care of her...

Doing anything he could to stay her hero for just a little while longer. Even if he didn't quite understand her...he could be her hero.

But then a message came, late one day as they both sat at home, waiting for her mother.

Some ponies will say they can remember ever single even of the day they received terrible news, that their actions will forever be burned into their mind.

Not him.

He remembered a knock at the door, opening it to see an unfamiliar pegasus. He remembered the stranger's mouth moving, but not the words that came out. The world seemed to blur for a moment, and the next thing he knew he was at the hospital, sitting in a room completely silent but for the steady beeping of some monitor.

A simple infection, exacerbated by too little sleep and too much work, was the cause. That's what they had told them, and he still couldn't quite believe it.

His wife was strong...sometimes it seemed she was almost as strong as he was, and here now she looked as weak as their daughter. He wanted to, no, needed to fix this

He was sorely tempted to start smashing things, to tear this room apart until the world was right again...but he just couldn't bring himself to move.

All he could was sit there and stare at his wife while that monitor continued to beep in a manner that was entirely too cheerful.

"Dad?" Fluttershy peered her head around the doorway, he'd told her to wait in the hallway. "Can I see mom now?"

"...of course" he said after a moment. "Come in, see your mother." Fluttershy was silent as a ghost as she crept into the room, almost tiptoeing to the side of her mother's bed. She look at her mother's face, a face in pain, for a few minutes before looking over to her father.

"Is she going to get better?" he'd asked those exact words to the doctor.

"I don't know...the doctor said we need to wait, to see how much of an effect the treatment has..." he hated saying that, but it was all he had.

"What about you dad? Can't you fix her?"

"What?" was it just him or was that monitor getting louder?

"You're a hero dad!"

beep...beep...

"You have to be able to do something..."

beep...beep...

"You're so strong and amazing..."

beep...beep...

"Please, you've always been able to help me..."

beep...beep...

"Can't you help mom, dad?"

beep...beep...

"Please...tell me you can help her..."

beep...beep...

"You have to-"

"I can't!" he exploded at her, trying so desperately to drown out that machine. "I'm not...I'm not strong enough to help her!"

"B-but...you've always been strong enough before," Fluttershy looked absolutely terrified, but he didn't care. He just needed to make her understand.

"That doesn't matter anymore!" Fluttershy didn't move, she was completely locked to the ground. "Sometimes...sometimes you can't fix things with strength. That's just the way the world works! Sometimes no matter how hard you try you can't fix anything..." his gaze fell back to his wife.

"Like her...like..." he stared at Fluttershy, his little daughter...the daughter who he'd never been able to teach how to fly, the daughter he'd never been able to understand.

"Like you," his voice had fallen so low...but he saw that she'd heard him.

And it broke...

No one should ever see the death of a child's faith. Most children lose such a thing as they grow up, bit by bit it goes away as they see more of the world.

But to see it die, all at once, is almost heartbreaking.

A small fragile light in her eyes flickered and faded away. It took only a few scant moments, but it left her looking...less.

Her faith in him was gone.

"Oh...I'm sorry dad..." it looked like she wanted to say more, but instead simply left the room.

He wanted to chase after her, to try and say more to her.

But he knew it was too late, and he was just so tired.

He spent the next few hours next to his wife before leaving. Fluttershy was waiting in the front area of the hospital for him. Together they went back home and Fluttershy immediately went to bed.

He spent the rest of the night, waiting, in silence.


The treatment worked, his wife recovered almost immediately. They picked her up from the hospital after a few days and took her back home.

The picture of a perfect family.

But things were never the same.

Fluttershy no longer needed him, in fact they hardly even spoke anymore.

They never did much of anything together anymore.

He gave no effort towards trying to fix this, after all, if his strength was of no use with his wife, what chance did it have here?

His words had hit him hard, as well as his daughter.

All he could do now, it seemed, was sit and watch the world pass him by.

Fluttershy continued to go to flight school, and one day he heard something about a rainbow explosion. Somehow he'd managed to miss out on it. Fluttershy came home with her cutie mark, she was so happy, and he was happy for her. So happy.

Even if he didn't understand what her cutie mark meant.

Then one day she left, moving away down to Ponyville, and it was just him and his wife.

Then the stories reached his ears. Stories of how his daughter was a hero now. Of how she valiantly stood against great danger, how she saved their entire world from the monstrous Nightmare Moon.

He wondered if there was any more to that story...

But the fact of the matter was...his daughter was a hero...a true hero.

She had accomplished what he could only pretend at...she's succeeded where he failed...

He was getting very used to failure.

With that the bond that he once help so close, the bond he thought could withstand anything...cracked.

It had been worn away over the years, even since he had tried to control his daughter...it just could not hold anymore.

His faith in himself, in his strength.

Goddesses he was tired...but it had been so long. Perhaps he should contact Fluttershy, just send her a message. Try and break the years of silence.

He pulled out a old drawer, pulling out and old sheet of paper, covered in dust. Gingerly he set it down on a desk and readied a fresh pen in his mouth.

Dear...Fluttershy...

The paper sat there, the two words waiting long after he'd gone to bed, and the day had turned to night.

It would wait for a while longer.

Next Chapter: The Wisdom of A Father Estimated time remaining: 26 Minutes
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