Chapter 7: Doctor Whooves Comes to Town.

Well, it was a glorious morning in Stalia.

The birds were chirping. The sky was clear, the ponies were all out of bed, and frogs were humping birds. That’s right, frogs were humping birds.

In addition, apparently, the animals from the Everfree were not good at all. In fact, there was something wrong going on, that Twilight had to come and give a report to the princess.

Now, if you’re thinking that the problem is that the animals are having an orgy, then you are a sick fuck for thinking that. Besides, there’s no reason to think that, because if you read the last chapter, you would know we have something like that already, and his name his Mac.

So, Twilight came for a visit, and was going to stay a few days, because she also wanted to try to figure the problem out, but of course she would have the send the letter out to the princess first, but still wanted to do some scientific research. Therefore, what do you think where she goes to.

Me of course.

Why couldn’t she just stay in Ponyville and have a chariot drop her off whenever she needed to. I mean sure, Ponyville is a few hundred, maybe a thousand miles away, I’m not so sure because I never bothered to look it up, but she still could’ve though.

So she asked me if she could stay at my house while she was there, and I would’ve said no, not to be mean, but because I don’t want to take chances of her snooping around my home and figuring out where I really came from.
It’s quite obvious if you think about, because Twilight will always try to find out what’s happening when somethi

ng is up. Besides, I can’t let Twilight find out, because then I don’t know what would happen, but I’m afraid it can’t be a good thing. Although, Celestia can’t really kick me out, because remember, I’m one of the elements, and if they need to use it, they would need me.

Therefore, I can’t tell her…. Yet, and when I mean by yet, I mean by when the time is right, she will then know. Nevertheless, of course, since this is MLP and I do sort of have to stick to the Brony code a little bit, although I always found myself as a different type of Brony like a Brony who isn’t afraid to kill, but likes My Little Pony, but still.

So anyway, she came up to me for a place to stay, I said she could. I had a few empty rooms, because I only needed one room, but it came with two more, and I was able to finish one up as a guest bedroom, so I gladly offered it.

She also brought spike along, then again, I can’t complain since spike is her number one assistant. Spike even thought that wolf was my number one assistant, but wolf told him he’s not, and is there because I’m the only one who ever took care of him and his only friend.

That’s not to say he has other friends, but as a friend he can depend on. Sure, he can also on the others, but still, that and we’ve been best buds for years, so yea.

Therefore, Twilight arrived at my house late one night, I think at seven or maybe a bit later, I couldn’t tell, because she had to a little business to take care of.

Well, I then showed her around the place, and guess who showed up, TK.

Yea, she was a little shocked, but I had forgotten I invited him over because I had to talk to him about stuff, as in off the grid stuff.

Well, I calmed her down, but she was still little angry, which I asked her what she has against TK, and she said she has nothing against him, but I could tell she was lying, and didn’t want to simply tell the truth right away, so I knew I had to get the truth out of her soon somehow.

I then showed her to her bedroom to unpack, and TK and I went to that basement I made, although from now on, I’m just going to call it basement, because I will just barley mention the other basement. Besides, the other basement is where I put my weed and beer at. That and other shit I don’t have a use for.

Therefore, I opened the secret door, which is right in front of my door to be specific.

You see, I have the secret doo to the basement right in front of the front door, and have the keypad to unlock. And just to mention this, but my house is a two story building, but just thought worth motioning, because I think it’s going to be somewhere in the story in the future.

Anyways, I went to the basement to talk about the stuff, and when I mentioned how twilight snoops around, she really snoops around, because she saw the basement, but luckily, I have the most important stuff hidden away in a vault that I only know the code to.

She was so simply amazed in shocked at the same time and questioned to what the basement was. I then soon explained everything to her, how I manually built this place, with all the resources I had, and how I have the syringes, and what I look up and test, although I left out the part from the other universes, but still.

I also make my own weapons down there, and told her those were the rarest types of weapons, that very few ponies have, and I was being serious about that.

I found some ponies with the guns or from they have told, a shooty thingy. to which I then found out, a stallion gave it to them, and if they ever saw me, kill me with it, but of course, I knew it was TF, and of course, since he wasn’t a Brony, he didn’t understand that most of these ponies do not kill, so they gladly gave it to me, with no questions asked.

However, I believe some might’ve kept it to themselves, but I’m not sure, but I don’t think it would be a problem, because I have all the ammo with me, and they wouldn’t know how to use it even.

Well I also told Twilight, how this can be a game changer to battle and fights. I also begged her not to tell Celestia, because if she would ever find out, the weapons would be taken away, and taken to a secret place in Cantorlot.

If someone ever found out, to say like the changeling queen, she would find a way to steal it, and use it against Celestia and possibly kill us all. The only safe spot would be here, because it would be hard to break into the basement.

So she pinkie promised not to tell, but only if I told her all of the scientific research I found and how I made the weapons possible, not that she was interested into guns, but just curious on how they work.

I then agreed, and Twilight left TK and I to continue our conversation. We were basically talking about one of the universes having one of my old enemies come to this universe, and one would have an armada, and we discussed battle plans, for Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory to the lead the army.

Yea, forgot to mention. since the Rainbow Dash is in charge of the Rainbow Factory part of the weather factory, she had a separate factory for it now, and since she was trained by TK.

She was also gained forces of ponies to command an army, so yea.

You have me who is very welled skilled, who have guns and makes his own weapons, and also knows how to use very powerful unicorn magic. That can also use the knight suit, and has off the grid powers that can be used on the grid for a short period of time, ( or at leat not anymore), and knows how to use it.

You also have TK, who has the knight suit still on, who also commands an army of demons, and have devil powers, and can sometimes use, depending on the situation, gods angels to fight.

Then you have Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory, who has the same skills from TK, and can use some of the off the grid powers, and commands an army.

Put us together, and we are fucking bad asses.

I just always wanted to say or write it down in this case.

Therefore, it was morning, and spike then woke up and fixed breakfast, although he was having a hard time trying to find something to fix him and Twilight, but I helped him out.

He also thought there was a fire going on because he saw us smoking, but I then explained it was weed, and shrugged it off, although he had a little worried look on his face.

Even Twilight was surprised, and she knew some of the damaging effects that weed can cause. However, I told it was fine, because I somehow never get any of the damaging effects from weed, somehow, and wolf is made out of woods, so she shrugged it off as well.

She then later told me she couldn’t believe how, I, a personal, well educated, and a wonderful faithful student of princess Celestia, who also stopped her evil clone, and made that amazing basement, would be smoking weed.

I just ignored her commit. She then asked me for help with her studying and examining about the animal problem, and I gladly said yes, although I didn’t have anything else going on.

I know I’m a Brony, and I should be excited about his, but I’m really not.

I mean, one, it’s not Rainbow Dash, although Twilight is ok in my opinion.

Two, I‘ve been here for a while now, and It was really getting old.

In addition, three, back on earth, I said to myself, that if I was ever able to go to the MLP universe, I would like to just be friends with them.

Not be all up in their faces saying how great they are. That and also explore their amazing world beyond our own, or should I say beyond your own, because at this point, things have change, but I’ll tell you guys what that means in the future, but for now, let’s continue.

Therefore, Twilight and I were walking to the edge of the Everfree, and my friends spotted us, and were in shock.
Of course, they kneeled down to her since she was a princess after all, and they started asking questions on how we knew each other.

In addition, I think forest went up to her and ask if Rainbow is seeing anyone, which I don’t know what happened to that conversation, but moving on.

From what I saw Twilight was doing, she was giving specific details on what the animals were doing, and even I didn’t know what was going on, because I have some powers, or whatever you want to call them, on controlling the animals of the Everfree, but they weren’t responding to me.

I mean, wolf and I sometimes come up here from time to time, and I never had a problem and not one of them disobeying orders from me, although Twilight didn’t know that of course, nor did anyone know that.

She then listed the symptoms to whatever was making the animals what they were doing, which were unusual things, like mating, but with unusual other animals, or being more aggressive, or not doing what the animals do naturally, like dig random holes.

For a while, she was taking notes, and wrote down some theories that she had.

Then she rolled up the letter and headed back to the house to give to spike so he could send it off, because we left wolf and spike back at home.

Twilight also asked me to stay and look after a machine she had that would pick up anything that was unusual, and I said yes, just because I didn’t want to be mean to her.

Therefore, I got fucking stuck on watching duty, and nothing fucking happened the entire night.

As I was just going to give up and go back home to go to sleep, I saw a thing fading into existence, and the machine was going ape shit.

As the thing stopped fading in and out, I then recognized it as the tarturis, and my mouth was open, and then at the very moment, Doctor Whooves, that one from doctor whooves and the assistant I might add, and Derpy come on walking out.

They stood there, questing why the TARDIS sent them there, and I quickly rushed up to them.

They then asked where they were and how did I know they’re names. I just said I knew, and I was from another universe, of course, the Doctor didn’t believe me at first, but I told him I had proof and I snucked them back to the hidden basement and showed.

That defiantly grabbed their attention.

They then started to ask me questions and I answered as much as possible.

Now, of course, TK found about within about an hour or so, but he was a little pissed off at me. I explained to him how they won’t say a word about it, and how he travels to other universes as well. He then let the subject pass, and moved on to other things, like going to talk to Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory.

Well, he then was still confused, because since the TARDIS only goes to places where there is trouble, I think.

I never watched Doctor Who back on earth, because I didn’t know where to start on the show. There was too many of them.

Well, I offered a non finished guess room to stay in, or at least until we can figure out what is happening in Stalia. He did accept the offer, and I gave him a bed for him and Derpy, but only because that’s the only thing I had for the other room.
It takes time to furnish a room, ok.

Besides, Doctor Whooves and Derpy is more like a couple together, then again, why the fuck would I be talking about romance.

Besides, I don’t even believe in love. I have reasons for them, but still. I never fallen in love with someone nor fallen in someone because the chick is hot, which means I would still be a virgin, but I don’t care if I’m a virgin or not. Besides, Jesus was a virgin, and if you hate me, you hate Jesus, or is the weed finally coming to me now.

Then again, I am half-sober when I’m ever drunk as shit.

The next morning, Twilight was shocked when she saw me on the couch sleeping, and to tell why I didn’t sleep in my bed, I was right about the weed finally getting to me, and I had a hangover. I also might’ve had an orgy over at my place with random animals and ponies, because I found semen everywhere, or was that me?

Then again, I haven’t masturbated ever since I was 14, but still though, it’s weird.

I will possibly find out later when ponies come up to me and saying how much fun they had at my place.

Well, I then ordered spike and wolf to clean up the mess, while Twilight and I talked. While we were talking, Doctor Whooves came down the stairs to ask for some muffins, and Twilight was in shock we had another guess.

I just stood there with a poker face and said we had no muffins.

In fact, at that time, I didn’t even knew what we even had. I don’t even shop for the food, because I make wolf do that, while I smoke weed and get drunk off my ass.

Moreover, if you’re shocked of this is how I am, and I’m supposed to be this badass who fought enemies and suffered the worst anyone has in their life. Well, this is me. I’ve been doing this ever since I discovered the portal.

Besides, there’s nothing to do around the house. I mean, there’s no TV or anything, but I still somehow find a way to get through it.

You want to know the secret, I don’t really use technology that much.

Sure, I make my own weapons, but that’s only when I have the supplies. If I’m in the forest, and I’m defenseless, I make my weapons whatever I got.

Therefore, continuing on, I then started to open up all the coverers and surprisingly I found muffin mix. I then gave the box to Doctor Whooves and told him to fix it.

I know I’m not being a good host, but I really am not a good cook.

Even if there were directions on the box, I’ll still find a way to burn it.

Well, after the doctor went into the kitchen, Twilight just gave me a look that said, ‘what the fuck’. I just simply told her what happened, and even she didn’t believe me.

Well, after the Doctor fixed the muffins, the Doctor released a beast into my home. Trust me, it’ll be like a horror movie, for muffins.

Once the smell of muffins came out of the oven, Derpy smelled it, and came crashing through the door and almost destroyed the walls.

In addition, in a blink of an eye, she was devouring the muffins whole. I knew Derpy loves muffins, but this was so fucking messed up.

Moreover, for some odd reason, and I don’t know what drove her to do it, but Derpy started to shove the muffins up her asshole.

It was so disturbing, that we all slowly walked backwards and ran out the door before you can say fuck.

I then locked the door so Derpy could finish her “business” in private, and we all agreed to never speak of that again. I even have nightmares about that. Wolf too, although it seems he enjoys it.

I’ll tell you, that I will never understand wolf. He may be my friend, but I’ll never understand him.

So, while Derpy was doing her uh…. Thing, Doctor Whooves offered to give twilight proof about the TARDIS.

Twilight happily accepted the offer, and I believe she thought she was going to be right, and act if I was in idiot for believing the Doctor.

When we got to the edge of the Everfree, we stumbled upon the machine that Twilight made, and found it destroyed.

It was unfortunate for Twilight, because she said she worked on it for years, but I simply offered to fix it. I even told her I could fix it within one to two days.

She looked at me as if I was crazy, because later she said it would be almost impossible to get the parts for it, but I soon showed her and gave her the machine repaired, and I even upgraded for her, and she still is shocked I did it.

It is obvious, because I make my own weapons and technology, but she still is shocked.

Well, the Doctor showed her the TARDIS, and Twilight was in shock, that she fainted.

We brought her to the hospital, because I don’t think it would be a safe bet to go back home just yet while Derpy is still there. She soon woke up, and looked at Whooves with wide eyes.

She then said she would have to report this to the princess, and she wrote a letter immediately, and spike sent it. I was surprised how no one tried to stop her, but ok then.

After the doctor gave the clear for her to go, even though she had nothing wrong with her.

We just told a lie to the doctor that she had aids, and after she woke up, we just told them she had magical aids, that disappeared and they believed it.

What a bunch of stupid dumbasses.

As we walked outside, we came across a little problem.

We found a Derpy outline through my door.

Then we noticed the entire pony citizens yelling and screaming as Derpy tried to devour all the muffin in sight.

I do have to admit, she really loves those muffins. I also feel kind of guilty of leaving Derpy in my house alone.

What we should’ve done is tie her down, and put her in a snow globe, just like in season 2 episode 18, where the part where pinky found the donkey’s snow globe, and it had a Derpy in it. We would keep her there until she was rehabilitated and ready to rejoin society. We could even get maybe Morgan Freeman from another universe to help. Besides, she really has a muffin problem. In fact, the muffin problem is just as a big of a problem as the cookie monster has the cookie problem.
Well, we just acted as if everything was normal, well, except for Twilight. She tried her best to calm Derpy down, but it lead her to being knocked consciences.

So we were here, in the middle of town, with Derpy rampaging through the town, trying to shove muffins up her ass and devour all the muffins all insight, while we have an unconsciences princess, which might piss off Celestia a bit, with a pony from another world.

In addition, to put on top of all of this, we still had the weird animal problem in the Everfree forest.

This was just fucking great.

Also, if you were wondering where were my friends were at during this time, they were at the bar.

Yea, apparently the bar is the only place that was not burning, or destroyed by Derpy.

Then all of a sudden, a chariot appeared, and Celestia was on it. She landed down with wide eyes. She then stepped down off the chariot and the flyers flew off like hell. I could just imagine what they were thinking, which would just simply be, what the fuck.

Celestia was about to speak, but I cut her off and said don’t ask. She then tried to check if Twilight was ok, and fortunately, she was.

However, she was still unconsciences, and would have to be brought back home to rest, and spike offered of taking her.
Therefore, spike went off to bring her back home, but at this point, I was wondering, and it is somewhat of a sick question, but is spike going to rape her. I mean, I know he loves rarity, but when is he going to hit on her.

I mean, this would be his only chance he will have of doing it, but I don’t want to know.

After we could no longer see spike, Celestia put a sleeping spell on Derpy, and was about ask what had happened, but I told her don’t ask once more.

She then explained how she got the letter explaining how a pony from another world is here, and Doctor Whooves explained himself. She then asked Doctor Whooves to come along with her to speak in private. She then asked me to check up on Twilight, even though spike was with her.

I’m pretty sure we both had out suspicions about spike raping her.

Wolf and I walked back to the house, and when we walked in, it was a complete mess. Not only the orgy stains were still there, but there was shit mixed with muffins everywhere as well.

I also think there was an unborn fetus just lying on the ground!

Then out of nowhere, my friends came up to me with what the fuck looks on their faces.

They then asked what they missed, but I ignored them, because I was too shocked to even answer them.

I then told wolf to clean it up, and of course he was a little pissed off, but he did what he was told, because I said after all of this is fixed, I promised some weed.

The thing is, we just don’t normally smoke weed that often, since it’s somewhat hard to get here. Not that it’s expensive, but you would have to find it in forests, but I was working on cloning the weed, so we would of unlimited amount of weed, and it was going very well.

I then walked up stairs to check on Twilight, and when I mean by that, I mean to see if spike is raping her or not. As I opened the door to the guest room, spike wasn’t raping her, and I thought I was thinking too deep into this.

As I walked into the room, Twilight woke up, and said, “What happened, and why do I feel like I got violated.”

I then stared at spike, and he just smiled with a nervous grin on his face.

I then walked back down stairs, not to my surprise, wolf was finished cleaning.

I say not, because if you offer him weed, beer, or both, he’ll get the job done very fast, and good. Although, I don’t want to know where he put the unborn fetus at, but I think I have an idea. I believe he put it into our neighbors mailbox.

I then gave him the weed, and he was acting if it was his precious, like that gremlin guy from lord of the rings.

Now, I know that’s not his name, but I never watched lord of the rings. I just know that little midget that says my precious all the time. I believe he’s a midget, or sorry, if I’m being offensive here, I really don’t give a fuck, but if I do have to be PC, then fun size I guess would be the correct term to use here.

After me and my friends sat there and watched wolf smoke weed, Celestia and Doctor Whooves came in, while Celestia holding Derpy in a levitation spell.

I then asked the doctor what the princess told him, and he replied he with the princess asking about the TARDIS and where he came from.

All the princess said was, he was welcome to Equestria anytime.

I then had a poker face, because that doesn’t seem to be a reason why to have a private conversation, then again, it was to determine if he could stay here or not.

Celestia also put the sleeping Derpy down on my couch and asked where to find Twilight. I then told her she was in her guess bedroom, and she was surprised this place had a guess bedroom.

In addition, I thought she knew.

So it clearly means, that she didn’t try her best to get me a home that wasn’t a library.

Fucking Trollelestia.

Therefore, after I told her where to find Twilight, the Doctor and I slowly came up to Derpy, trying not wake her up, and tie her up.

We were successful, but she woke up, and was still the beast who wanted to shove muffins up her ass.

I then went to check up on Celestia and Twilight, and when I got up there, Twilight asked me to finish up her assignment, because she didn’t feel she could from the concussion Derpy gave her.

I realize how strong Derpy was. I mean, if she could knock out an Alicon, who are basically strong, I’m afraid what she would do to a normal pony, like an earth pony.

I said yes to help her, and she would be in my house until I get the job done.

I then thought, maybe I can offer weed and beer to wolf if he can do it, but I just said fuck it and moved on with life.

At the time, Luna’s moon was about to rise, and the ponies of Stalia were about to come out of their homes and try to fix up most of the damage as most as possible, since it was starting to get dark.

The Doctor, wolf, and I were walking the streets so we could go to the Everfree forest. While we were walking, what we saw was like a war zone.

I don’t know what Derpy did, but the only building that’s seemed to be perfectly normal, was the bar.

I mean the destruction was so devastating, and it was unbelievable. I also saw a newspaper that said 11 dead from a mysterious attacker.

Now, I know Derpy never meant to kill tem, in fact, I don’t think she killed them at all, but as the ponies were trying to run away, they might’ve just gotten stuck in place where they died, but not by Derpy’s hooves.

I can just imagine, if they had TV, they would have a news station that would have a Derpy image, with ‘never forget’ as the message.

I know it’s only 11 dead, and not that big of disasters as other ones are, but this is the My Little Pony universe, and there are not too many death’s here, but if there are, its either by old age, or some sort of disease, not a pony killing another pony.

Well, we then finally got out of town, and into the Everfree forest. I told wolf and Whooves we were going to sit here all night, and see what was causing the animals to do weird things.

If you’ve forgotten about the animal problem, you’re not the only one. I forgot as well, but only because there was Doctor Whooves showing up, Twilight fainting, Derpy going berserk (maybe a psychopath?), spike raping Twilight, and the weird orgy I found in the living room this morning, and the unborn fetus.

Well, fortunately, we found the source, and it was an old monster from another universe that the Doctor recognized.
Soon, the Doctor and the weird beast were fighting each other off.

Eventually, the Doctor won the battle, but killed many animals while trying to fight. He didn’t do it on purpose, but the animals got in the way.

Well, as dawn broke, we walked back home, while dragging the dead beast’s body with us. As we walked into the house, we found Celestia in my living room, because she was sent to grab something for Twilight.

Therefore, we walked in, and we dropped the dead body right in front of her, with a what the fuck look on her face. We then explained what happened, and was a little relived that the animal problem was solved, although she couldn’t help it, but she felt guilty of causing harm here, because she sent Twilight here.

It does make sense, because if you think about it, it’s somewhat of a chain reaction.

If Twilight was never here, then I would have never gone with her to the Everfree forest, because I really don’t care about the animals have an orgy or not. it’s their business, not ours.

Then, she would have never told me to stay there with the machine for the night, and I would have never met Doctor Whooves, because, good news is, he joined the team.

What I mean by that is, he joined me, TK, and Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory. However, he couldn’t stay there and had to go back to the TARDIS, so I gave him a device, where I or he can teleport himself here for anything.

After the Doctor and Derpy left (Derpy went back to normal after the muffin craving went away and we will never forget what happened when she did.), Twilight thanked me for letting her stay at my house and left, and the door was finally fixed.

I then went back to the life I was had before Twilight came. I went back to smoking weed and getting drunk, although, I only get half drunk, but still. I did this as I waited for the next thing to be repeated, which was season 1 episode 6.

its going to be a while before the next chapter will be up for universal magic and the seventh elemnt. its because i'm dealing with personal problems and its really hard and tiring to edit the chapters. thats also one of the reasons why i made grammer mistakes, because i get so tired of editing a chapter, i don't even notice the grammer mistake. it might be next week when i get the next chapter up.