Chapter 14: the Black Guy Pony

(Note: ok, this a serious note here, that if you are ever are offended by my fanfics with the jokes, then i do apologize for it. i wouldn't normally do this apology with my fanfics, but i feel like i should, because i think one day, a guy is going to read this and likes it, but its runied for him because of the jokes and he gets offended and complains about it as all muslims do.)

Well, this part of my life happened after the events of the sleepover. I mean, I remember when I woke up in the morning, it felt like I had a hangover. Maybe the universe was making me fell like it for trying to tell the truth to Celestia. I mean, I was fine when I was at Cantorlot, but now, I felt like I had a hangover.

Like I was reified. Well, I was right. Apparently, Wolf trolled me, by putting reifies in my weed and beer, son of a bitch. At the time, I didn’t know what I did. I could’ve fucked a chicken, which meant I fucked a Scootaloo.

Well, shit. Who knows, maybe I had a tiger in my bathroom. Which surprisingly, I did. well then, it’s like I had a hangover adventure for me. I looked outside, and the place was a wreck.

It was odd indeed, because no one was outside. I wondered, did I kill everypony? Because if I did, well then. Looks like I was going to pony hell. Where all you do, is absolutely fucking nothing.

Great punishment.

Well, of Crouse, there was that hell pony that I knew, so it wouldn’t have been that bad.

Well, I found Wolf in the bathtub, who had a missing tooth, and I carried him outside and sprayed him with the hose. He soon woke up, asking where the fuck he was. I told him to get his ass up, and we walked the town.

Of Crouse, we knew we did something that night and we decided to figure out what had happened. Well, I then heard Neons voice to go near him.

I was afraid. I was wondering if he was going to harvest my organs. I then thought, “No. Neon couldn’t have killed all of the townspeople within a hour. He would’ve had to have plenty of coolers to put the organs in, so they would continue to be fresh and not rot.”

Well, I went over to him, which was a hugh risk, psychopath or not.

He then quickly took me into the party store, as if he was pedo bear from the internet. Of course, he would be raping me, but then again, I wasn’t a child. Whatever.

Therefore, I was in the party store, and everything was dark as fuck. Neon eventually lilted a candle and slowly, creepily showed everyone else to me.

I asked why everyone was in here, and they said the Zebra was why. I faced hoof. I mean, really.
The black guy pony.

Maybe I should explain myself. You see, back on earth, I called Zecroa Black guy Pony, since she sounded black. That and she was a Zebra after all. You know. Zebras are from Africa, whatever.

You get offended, you get offended.

Well, other than white ponies being afraid of black ponies, that seems to be like bombs to them, I asked if Mac and Jack how they felt.

The thing is, it’s not that I actually give a fuck about their feelings, but I was starting to think something was up. Well, I asked, and they said they had hangovers as well. I then looked at Wolf, who just simply didn’t give a fuck.

That fucker.

Well, we hid in that party shop for about one or two hours, before the black guy pony came. In other words, Zecora. She was looking around, and gave a sigh.

I’m guessing she was tired of ponies being afraid of her, or in other words, having this happen again to her. She then walked away, but no pony came out.

I then asked the guys what would happen if I went to Zecroa. Well, Neon said that she would cut my neck, rape me, eat my legs, and harvest my organs.

Really.

Strange, I was looking at one right now. Therefore, I was guessing Neon is the black guy pony. As you can tell, that was a sarcastic joke.

Well, anyway, while I was talking, Macs little brother, shadow eclipse. I have to admit, that’s an awesome name for a pony. That is a fucking awesome name

. Well, anyway, shadow ran away from us, little fucker. Shadow was trying to go and meet Zecora, but Mac refused to let him, since he’s the bigger brother and all doesn’t want him to get hurt, which reminds me of something.

Well anyway, Shadow escaped and went after Zecora. I also have to admit, he’s a brave little one too. I mean, of all the ponies that I have met; he’s the bravest of them all for going into the Everfree.

I mean, sure there was the other guys, but I convinced them. How? By absolute nothing. Now, did that make any sense to you? Neither did I make any sense of it.

Moving on.

Well, he moved through the Everfree and was almost at Zecroas hut, which was a decent amount of travel done by him.

However, Mac noticed he was gone the moment he left the store. We followed him and as shadow was going to meet Zecroa, Mac and the others stopped him. By the way, they were in the fields of the blue mutated hybrid flowers.

I mean, I wasn’t in it, since I remember this episode, so I stayed away from it. of course, why didn’t I tell the others. I really do not give a fuck about them. I mean, it’s fun to be with them sometimes and it’s good to be their friends, but I really don’t give a fuck about them.

Besides, it’s only a flower that makes fun of you and possibly is racist. Son of a fucking bitch. I just realize that they would’ve torched a black pony, which would’ve been racist and shit. Strange how I just realized this so many years in the future after it happened.

Well, as I was saying about the racist flowers, yea, there you go. Therefore, the guys threaten Zecroa, to never come back to Stalia and what not.

Well, we all eventually went back home, but it took us the entire day, since Zecroas home was near Ponyville and it takes a while to travel through the Everfree.

I was going to figure out what happened with Jack, Mac, and I but I decided to say fuck it and smoke weed and go to bed. When I woke up, it was the fucking universe again.

I got up to go to the bathroom to take a piss. Well, I looked in the mirror and nothing happened to me. Well, I then went to the living room, to smoke my morning weed.

I used my levitation spell to grab the weed, but the spell didn’t happen. Instead, what came were two little fireworks, like Asian fireworks that are illegal.

You know. The ones that you would get in illegal Mexico or the illegal part of Mexico, where they have the illegal Asian fireworks.

Yea, two of those popped out. The first one exploded and it gave me a message, saying, “FUCK YOU, singed, the Universe.” then the second one exploded, and it showed a troll face.

I think I have an arch enemy now. It’s this universe.

Yes, apparently, the universe wants to make me do my destiny. How about no. I’ll tried to continued to resist. I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to feed the paresprite.

Well, I went to wake up Wolf, and Wolf wasn’t wooden anymore. He had actual fur on him and not magic. When Wolf woke up, he was shocked and asked why. I yelled, “Dam you universe. Dam you! Dam you to HELL!! You blew it up! You blew it up!!” I then got up from the ground, pretending that I didn’t do the ending for the original planet of the apes.

Well, the next thing you know, the room got cold and the window was also broken as well. It was Forest of course, and instead of fire, he was ice. Yea, his coat color change from fire colors to ice colors. You know, like light blue and shit. Well, you might as well call him icestallion.

You know, like iceman from X-men or was that even from X-men. I think he was, but icemen is gay, so I guess whatever you want to say then.

Forest came to me and said it was the black pony’s fault. Really, I don’t think black ponies can do this unless they’re from Africa.

You got offended yet? If so, then I’m surprise you’re still reading this. I mean, I made a whole bunch of jokes that would offend people, and you’re still reading it. Just admit it. You enjoy the racist stuff. Besides, if you ever seen Avenue Q, everyone’s a little bit racist.

After Forest said what he said, the rest of the gang came in. what I saw next was what the fuck. I saw a kangaroo, Neon who had a sad expression on his face, a deformed pony, who might’ve had AIDS, applejack, and a midget pony. Ok, so let me explain here.

The kangaroo was Arrell. That explains a lot, but of course, no one else got it. If you remember in chapter 3, I said he had an Australian voice accident. Therefore, yea, we had a fucking kangaroo, which possiably could box.

The deformed pony was Jack. I think the flowers are starting to have a sick mind for jokes.

As for applejack, it wasn’t applejack. It was Mac. Mac did say it was somewhat of his nightmare. It did make sense for him, because he and applejack aren’t quite on good terms for being cousins and all.

As for the midget, that was shadow. I think the flowers didn’t think he was small enough as it is, so they made him a midget.

As for Neon, well, he cried and said he couldn’t break the laws of physics. Really, that’s supposed to be a joke. That’s normal. Well, Neon cries, because he couldn’t do jackshit anymore.

So apparently, everypony knew what he could, but didn’t find it awkward. I just give up on Neon and Pinkie. Neon also said he couldn’t harvest the organs. We all looked at him as if he was an insane and just looked at us back. He said, “You try not doing random things.”

I don’t know if Neon is self aware anymore about his flaws and….. You know what. I just fucking give up.

Therefore, what happened was everypony blamed Zecroa, and were going to set her on fire for doing this. That or beat the living shit out of her.

Of course, I could’ve stopped it, but the universe stopped my magic. I mean, whatever spells that I do, it always shows those two little illegal Asian fireworks.

Well, it was still early in the morning, and not everypony was outside, we the guys just went after Zecroa. All right, and shadow went to find Zecroa, and Wolf made fun of us.

Let’s see, he came up with kangaroo Arrell, jacked up Jack, regular Neon, bitch Mac, Shadow midget, Forest ice, and as for me, it was fucker. Great job their Wolf. You’re a fucking dumbass.

I tried to think of a name for Wolf, but all I can come up with was sick Wolf. You want to know why he’s sick. He likes being molested; he has good dreams of that moment with Derpy, he’s a fucking troll, and wants to fuck a pony. Yes, that’s right.

Don’t remember?

Remember back in chapter 3 how I said he wanted to fuck a fucking pony. Yea, I didn’t forget that. How could I forget it? He said it in my face in the weirdest of all ways, by humping the air.

Well, the guys went after the black guy pony, while me and Wolf took out time to get to Zecroa. Well, we eventually got there, and what I saw was Neon have a match.

I knew we should’ve had that intervention soon.

Well, all I did was grabbed one Of Zecroa chairs, and knocked out Neon. Yea, he was bleeding a little bit.

The guys let Zecroa go. Oh, right. I forgot to mention that the guys tied her up in a chair. I’ll admit, they were going a little too far with this one.

I just decided to say fuck it and explain to them that Zecroa wasn’t evil. I explained everything to them about how the mane six knew them and she wasn’t all that bad.

Of course, Zecroa had a look on her face, and asked me how I knew the mane six. I didn’t feel like explaining it, so I made Wolf handle that part, while I smoked weed. Yea, I had some weed with me.

Also, midget Shadow walked into the room, with a few items, and asked why was Zecroa was tied down, why was she was covered in gasoline(I’m surprised these ponies know what that is. Then again, they do use it for floats and shit.), and why was Neon bleeding.

Mac bitch just said he would tell him when he’s older. That’s strange. Maybe he already told him what sex was. I did asked him and he said he somewhat knew of it and was a little bit afraid of it, since he had a well-described description of it when he was told.

He was also told by Mac.

Yea, if Mac ever got married and had kids, he would be unfit to be a husband and a father.

Well, we eventually calmed down, explained ourselves, and said we were sorry. She also offered us the cure for the flowers, which we did except. I also asked why was she was in Stalia and apparently, one of us took something from her. It was an African mask.

Apparently, it was when Mac, Jack, and I had that hangover. Apparently, Jack didn’t notice the fucking scary mask over his bed.

Therefore, we gave it back and we took the cure. We also went to the local spa to do it and we are all better. Mac, jack and I also asked if she knew anything about our hangover.

She said she knew, but we had to come back the next day, since she had a place to clean up.

Oh right and for you Neon fans out there, I put Neon in a comma for 3 days. He eventually was cured from the flowers, but he was a little pissed off, but calmed down, and we were still friends.

Now, all I had was a Hangover Adventure.

yea, this was a short chapter, but in the last sentence, i give a little hint at what next weeks chapter is going to be. its quite obvious, and i was surprisingly releasing the chapter on a right on time date for it, but trust me, next week is going to be long anf fun. its going to take me a while to edit it, but its going to be an awesome chapter next week. also, if you havn';t read my lastest blog yet, please do and leave a comment on it. its sort of intersting since it has something to do with UM. also, if you have read it, i have said season 1 finalie for this fanfic. what i mean by that is, there will be 26 chapters per season, much like the show, and in between seasons, there will be a break. don't know how long, but a break and a chance to work on the other seasons. so far, i have 11 seasons planned so far. so yea, enjoy. :)