A Bob Tom Story
My Little Pony: Universal Magic

I have lost so much. I have lost my faith, my friends, and even my family. I have lost so much in my life, it would make a man kill himself than living this nightmare.

I had no intentions for things to turn out this way, but this portal just makes me do things I rather not do. I don’t even have my own will for god’s sake. This portal keeps drawing me back in, like I’m missing a piece to a puzzle that doesn’t exist. I knew I should have listen to them…all of them…all of my friends when they were still there.

As I sit here, in a sleazy hotel, god knows where in another country, far, far away from Equestria and the place that I used to call home. A place where they speak a langue that I can't even fucking speak. IT's some kind of ponified brazil or some shit. All I know is that I woke up with a headache. However I cannot forget what happened last night either.

I remember I was lying down in a pile of rubble, nothing but destruction of poor souls and bad ponies who could think they could get away with whatever they want. I was lying down on some bricks while someone was begging me to put them out of their pain and misery as they were on fire. As I sat up to look around me, I saw nothing but burnt bodies with a particular odor that would make someone puke from within and wish they could choke on it so they wouldn’t have to see what cannot be unseen.

Then I saw someone, limping away from me. His right forearm has been burnt off with burned skin and scars across his entire body. He was afraid of me, as he was trying to run away.

Soon he turned his head towards me and looked at my eyes with fear, as he knew he had been beaten. Soon I used my magic and grabbed a gun out and slowly walked towards him. Sadly the pony fell and was afraid of the death that was upon him.

I then saw him close his eyes as he was on the ground, waiting for me to kill him and put a bullet in his head. Even I was ready to put a hole through his head, or perhaps shoot him in some other spot where it hurts, so I could watch him bleed to death as he begs me to finish him off. Then again, he should have expected me to do this, to go after him, to make him suffer after what he did to me. After all he had put me through. He should have expected me to put him through hell as I enjoy every last second of it. It was the only thing he left me anyways, so why not take it and enjoy the revenge while it lasts. Besides, he was a bad pony after all, burning others alive while killing parents in front of their children. Then again, I've seen worse, so all that made him was nothing more but a guy who just thought he could kill me. To me, all he was just a poor soul who made the wrong mistake of messing with me. Especially after what I've been through lately.

I knew he was the bad guy, as he saw me as the bad guy as well. However how could I tell if he was evil. I know I could tell right from wrong, I wanted good things to happen. But then again, perhaps he was right. Perhaps I was the bad guy. Perhaps he wanted to do good in his own eyes. I’ll admit he was right, I couldn’t even tell when someone had intentions of murdering someone and someone who just wanted a friend at a bar late at night when you want to drink your pain away. Or when someone wanted to help the poor or banging my sister. Then I blacked out, not remembering what happened next. I must have stumbled into a hotel later that night, because I woke up with a headache.

Now I’m just by my window with the blinds closed, but with Celestia’s orange sun breaking through the cracks, while I’m drinking the pain away as I write this down.

I honestly have no idea what to do right now. In fact I rather just die, but I still have a few friends out there, still alive, and so I need to keep going... for them.

However, all I can say is this is so much better than being a human, than being on Earth with all the rest of the poor souls, even if it does come with a few moments where you end up at the wrong side of the gun, it comes with the territory.

I remember when I was merely but a small child, I always wanted to be special. To be someone that not a single soul was on that damn planet.

I was told everyone was special, but special is such a vague term, that it could mean anything. It could mean you’re a genius, or a deformed monster that not even your parents want to look at you every day.

They also call it a gift as I am told, but a gift is nowhere near close to what I would describe humans. I know I was once one of them, but I know who I am.

Humanity is nothing but a waste of precious life. Everyone says that they chose their own paths, but really, they all walk the same path, as I have walked my own path. I have found a few exceptions of course, but sadly, their kind is gone, forever to be forgotten by time itself, at least for me that is.

I have heard many say to live life and have fun with it. I have heard where you only live once. What a bunch of fucking bullshit that comes out of their mouths. Those people do not know a single thing about life. They don’t know how to live it at all.

They think they’re just living their life while they’re young, being rebels and let loose. Well let me tell you something, life isn’t about that. Life is more of a curse. Being human is a curse within itself. Hell, living anything where you can feel any kind of pain is a nightmare on the long term of things.

Life doesn’t have to be so bad though, as how I could have lived but sadly it never worked out that way for me. It just seems that the curse has still an effect on me right now, but surely it will all go away.

However humanity is nothing but of a curse, a sad, pathetic, unworthy curse. A curse filled with sins and regret.

I have also noticed how most of humanity eventually finds love…well I ask you this, WHAT IS LOVE!? All it is just nothing but to break your heart and get in your way.

But then again that might just be the pills and the alcohol talking.

I never saw love that way. Love can get in the way sometimes, even though it feels good to love. But even then it'll just leave your heart broken one way or another. Someone eventually die and leaves you or they break your heart cause they don't love you no more.

Of course, many of you are possibly thinking that I am a fool, but in truth, you are all the fools. Fools that are playing a game they cannot win, life itself. I can't even fucking win.

Life is just full of lectures, those who only see as to be strict and live by the rules, while others live loosely. Some give up on life, while others believe to live it to the fullest.

We are all fools, from the mentally retards to the most smart of all minds. From the mentally insane to sanity. We are all fools who cannot win.

For me on the other hand, I have a chance to win maybe, but unless all is fixed, the odds are not in my favor. It's a longshot, but I'll take anything by this point.

So you may ask yourself, what has happened to my life? How did I get to this point in my life, where I’m drinking the pain away with liquor and writing down my memories? Or perhaps some other version of me is writing this down in a state of looking back on what happened with fondness. The possibilities are almost endless.

Well, it’s a very long story, it may seem none as an illusion at first, but in the end, everything burns down, and the sad part is, many would watch everything burn down. Even the mentally sane do when they think they're the good guys.

So, where should we begin? I don't remember too much from my very beginning, it has all but become a blur to me and my mind, but I'll try my best to crank the old noggin. There are three parts here and let’s just start off here, as in where I am from. Well, for one thing I’m human. I once lived on Earth and I’ve got to be honest here, didn’t have much to live for.

For one thing, I was a teenager in high school. I was about 15 years of age while only having a friend or two, just the typical people who you would maybe drink with at a bar every week, nothing special. I don't even remember their names or faces. I had no girlfriend to gawk over, I passed all my classes, even though I never felt I learned anything worth my time. I never had much of anything other than my time and my life. But despite having all the basic necessities of living, I still fucked up in the end and made many mistakes back then.

I didn't even have a car. That just shows how pathetic my life was. However, I realized something. I realized something about life. That life is a game.

However, at the same time life is like hell. We’re pretty much living hell right now aren’t we? I mean, with all the wars, starvation, famines, murder, corruption, and a whole bunch of other shit you probably refuse to hear, you must wonder, why? Well, that’s just it, we’re in hell.

However, there is a game to it. You try to make the best things out of life. You either steal, be famous for art, movies, Television shows, politics, or whatever that you do in life. Of course though if you can’t make the best out of it, you get really pissed off at those who do make the best out of life, and you have that anger inside of you.

You either just want to steal what they have or just kill them, so you don’t have to hear from them again, to just make them shut up for once in their life and enjoy the silence. That or you just keep it inside of you and bottle it all up, wondering if you're going to explode one day and go on a killing spree.

That, and of course some don’t, and are actually happy for them. That just shows that they too make the best out of life. For me, I could never do so. I wasn't jealous, I just pissed at myself because I couldn't be as good as they were no matter how hard I tired to learn.

I was a Brony back on Earth. I got introduced to it by one of those nameless friends that I had, just casually one day out of curiosity. It just all kind of happened and soon before you knew it, I was hooked on it

For a brief period in my life, I was happy and felt like I had made the best out of life. And just like any other Brony, I wanted to embrace it all.

I bought some of the toys the dvd's, the figures, the t-shirts. But yet in the end, it didn't really take me anywhere. It just numbed the metaphorical brain in my head like an addict on morphine.

So that was my life. Although my life was heading in a good direction though when it came to school.

If I had passed my classes, I was looking at a fucking desk job for the next 40 years of my life, where all I do is nothing but mindless paper work and take some sort of shit from my boss that can go fuck himself.

So I always wished a way out of it someway. I just wanted out of this hell of mine and into something else. This hell of nothingness. This meaningless life that I was leaving. But I failed to heed the classic warning of becareful of what you wish for. Although, I didn't expect all of this other shit to happen to me, where my friends die and I've lost so much time. I have no idea what's happening anymore, I can't even make sense of anything, but that's besides the point.

Besides, it didn’t have to be My Little Pony or the ponies from the show coming into reality and having a My Little Dashie moment.

Along as it was away from this hell hole. Something that hasn’t happened to anyone else before. And I don’t mean such as a once in a life time chance to become famous, or I somehow become king of a place.

I didn’t mean that at all. I meant I don’t care if It involved me being kidnapped by fucking aliens, being tortured or dissected on. Hell I could be standard on the other side of the galaxy for all I fucking cared. Everything on Earth was just grey to me/ As long as it was any place but there, I was going to be happy in someway.

I just wanted something to happen to me, that was all. But sometimes you need to go out and make something happen. It's because sadly no one is special, we’re all the same. Then one night... that all changed for me.

One day, when I got home from school, I was locked out of my house and was in rage of trying to open the damn door and cursing up a storm, I got in and went to my bedroom to think about all the things I just said to you. To think in silence and try to be at peace. I looked at my MLP merch and cracked a little smile thinking all was right in my world.

Then I laid there for a moment and then my parents eventually wanted to have a talk with me. Now with them, I can't really remember who they are. They are a haze in my memory.

It has been so long since I saw them, but I just don't remember too much about them. I don't even remember the details on their faces. I just remembered them as two people that were in my life once. That is all.

I remember them as a child, always being with them, the playing, the birthdays, the occasional family trip. But I can't really remember too much about them, not even their real names other than mom and dad.

The only thing that I remember them for is the two people who try to prepare you for the life ahead and be there for you when you make errors and tell me that everyone makes mistakes. And that they try to show you the best out of life. You are the future bloodline, they want you to live so you can carry on their bloodline and show that life is worth living for.

But that’s not how life works. How life works is this. It does whatever the fuck it wants. You don’t control it, nor you can control anything about your life.

Life controls you and there is no escape from it. So, if life fucks you over, either not having all of your hard work getting recognized in a place of work or you’re working at a stock market and you get fucked over thirty four million dollars from your share, it just means life enjoys fucking you over and there’s really nothing you can do about it.

Your only choices are is to keep all the feelings that you have all bottled up, waiting to explode, steal what they have, but eventually getting caught and getting sentence to prison, or just end it all.

It’s your choice and like I said, I rather bottled it all up and wait for my to go crazy one day.

Besides, I only have a short time to live, along as whenever I’m an old person in a hospital and the doctors are trying to keep me alive from a heart attack or just something that all old people have when it’s their time to go. Why not you know? Of course, why not commit suicide?

Well to be honest I would. I ad thoughts about it back then, but the truth is like most of us, I was too much of a pussy to pull the damn trigger.

So my parents were in the kitchen, talking to me. They were talking to me about something, a family vacation at a nearby place and to take a trip to a cabin in the woods. You know, with the peacefulness and horseback riding as such. You know, to really connect with nature.

Now if I was still a small child, I would be excited as fuck. I would be bouncing off the walls, saying how I couldn’t wait for the trip to come. Well, for me then, I wasn't. Everything didn't seem to matter at all. It was just another trip to someplace. sure, it's nice get out and smell the fresh air. Yet it just felt like wasting my time, live day to day, week by week. Just living one day and living the next. All that would mean for me is that I was going to go and do it in the middle of the woods.

So we went on the trip during my summer vacation, when school got out.. We drove to Tennessee since it wasn't too far if I recall. The place with nothing else to do except to watch crops grow or kill yourself, it wasn’t that long of a drive.

At the time I had an old CD player with me and listening to old tunes, so at least I got some type of entertainment other than live animals out in the woods like the same things that we saw fucking each other at a zoo when we were kids.

Well, we got to our cabin and I unpacked all of my belongings. I had my room to myself while my mom and dad had theirs. We went to see about horseback riding, since it was still early in the day.

And then from there everything gets fuzzy again. It might just be the alcohol doing it's job. All I can recall is that we tried to do something, something nice together as a family. But then we had an argument. One thing lead to another and I ran off back to the cabin on my own with anger. I can't remember a damn thing to be honest what we were arguing about. Maybe it was the conversations we were having or me expressing my feelings.

My parents were pissed at me though that night from what I remembered. I remember telling them off, and using words that you shouldn't be using in front of them because I was about to explode. I think they were worried about me afterwards, but not much else was said between us. I just... was on my own. However, that night it would have been fine, because I was on my own anyways.

After I talked to them and yelled, I went into my room and slammed the door shut. Since we were renting a cabin from someone, the room just so happened to have an old record player and some old music that probably didn't get played for many years.

So, I grabbed a record disc, tried it to put it on the player the best I could from watching all of those movies, and let the music come out of the speakers as I laid on my bed, thinking about my life. I just stared at the ceiling, while the music played on and on.

My parents didn’t even say a single word to me that same night. They just turned off the lights and went to bed, without a sound. Then after an hour or two, I noticed the clock. It was one or two in the morning and I just sighed. I went up to my window and looked up at the stars.

They were quite beautiful, I must admit. I mean, it’s those rare moments that just keeps you happy and going in life. I mean without all the light pollution and all, I’ve got to admit they’re quite awesome to look up at the sky.

It was also during the summer constellations and I could make out the Pegasus and the Lyra I think. I wasn't too familiar with the constellations, let alone an astrology who could look at Orin's penis and tell you if there was going to be a blood moon the next night or not.

But I think I did my best telling from what I saw that night. Then something caught my eye. I looked into the forest as best as I could with my eyes through the window and saw a ball of light.

I saw it just hovering in mid-air, not too far off the ground. It was as big as my leg, so not too big in its size. It felt like it was looking at me, feeling like it was giving off an energy that was waiting for me to go and follow it. It just hovered there, like it was waiting for something. Then, it slowly moved deeper into the forest. It was like it was communicating to me, to follow it and to begin my journey into madness.

Well, I did just that, but only because I was curious to what it was and wanted to investigate it. I wasn't doing anything else that night anyways. Why not? So I got my shoes on as quickly as I could and got a flashlight that was in the room with so I can see in the dark forest ahead of me.

I didn't grab anything to protect myself in case a wild animal would try to attack me. I wasn't too bright and wasn't thinking about that when I went out in the middle of the forest in the middle of the night like a tard.

So, I quietly went out without making a single sound that is to be heard by my parents.

I opened the front door and gently closed it. Then, I went towards the forests and went into the woods. I had the flashlight on my right hand, illuminating anything in the distance ahead of me.

I slowly walked and as I moved deeper into the forest, I saw the ball of light. It was as if the ball of light waited for me to come. When I was in view of the thing, it moved along and I continued to follow it.

Then, eventually the pattern kept on doing the same thing. Then, it was about an hour or so when the ball got to its final destination. It was a cave.

However this cave wasn’t even on the map I think. The cave was giving off a weird vibe to me, like something wasn't right... something was off about that cave. I was starting to get a bit scared here, however I knew that I was also strong. Strong in spirit but not much else, but for some crazy fuck like me, that's all I needed.

That, and I knew I was also a bit brave, however even brave men are scared, but they are brave because they face whatever they are scared of instead of running away like a coward would. So I put a foot into the cave. Then, I slowly put the next foot into the cave. And I just telling myself to put the next foot forward to myself going instead running away like a little bitch. Who knows what would have happened if I had.

I had my flashlight pointing in front of me, lighting my way forward so I can see the light and not the darkness. I went deep and deep into the cave as I much I could possibly could go. Every now and then I could see the ball of light going ahead of me as I tried to follow it.

I even had to go down a few feet as well. Then, I reached the end. I had thought that this cave was pointless and there was no reason for me to be there. Then, I turned off the light, but when I did I still saw a light, but faded though. Apparently, there was a corner.

So I went around the corner and I saw this portal thingy. It was glinting a bit, but still it was a portal that was made out some kind of light. I also saw the ball of light there as well. It went through the portal and I wondered something here, should I go or should I not? Well, for one thing I thought maybe this would be different.

I had also came this far, so why not? I also asked myself this question, which is a question I’ve always questioned myself and others. In fact, this is a question for you whoever reads this. If you had a chance to leave your ordinary life and have another life, like leave your life for another.

If you had a chance to go on an adventure and leave your life forever, would you do it? For me, the answer is yes, but that was at the time. Now, it seems to me that I should have at the very thought it over, but at least it got me somewhere that I needed to be. However, I was worried about what the portal felt like when it would touch my skin. So I stuck my pointing finger in the portal a bit and it felt a bit weird I’ll admit, however it was slow moving in it.

So I thought that was weird, but decided to just take a chance in my life for once and jump through it. So I did and it was slow. I mean, this was happening for a reason. The reason was that I was going outside of the universe. I mean, I was transiting from a place that had time to where there is none at all. And yeah, it was the outside of the universe, the universe that I was from. Just casually outside of time and space, at least to the time and space that I was used to. I didn't quite know it at the time as I was trying to gather everything together, but that's what I ended up figuring out in the long run.

So I eventually got through the portal and I ended up at the other side. For some odd reason there was still gravity. But it felt a bit weird though. And for the ball of light, it was no where to be seen, it just disappeared from sight for me.

It was nowhere to be found at all, although let me explain where I was at though. I was in a white room. Everything was white. Even the ceiling was white, although there was really no solid surface though, just more space up above.

Then, the walls and the floor were covered in these white tiles that you would see in a Portal game. Then, the walls were covered by these portals. I mean, there were millions on them. Billions of them. Trillions of them even.

They reached up to the ceiling and the thing was that there was an actual ceiling somewhere, however it kept rising as more portals were being added by the second. Although, only three-fourths of the room like area that I was in was covered in portals. There was this one wall that had none.

However, in place of the portals was a locked door and a tinted glass. I tried everything to unlock that door, but the door doesn’t open. It only opens from the other side. That and whatever that door and glass window is made out of, doesn’t seem like to be made from Earth.

That shit was made from unbreakable stuff. You could nuke the damn thing and it would still be standing there. So that’s where I was at, but no sign of that ball of light. However, what I did find was an open portal.

You see all the portals were closed and the way you need to open them is what I call, 117. It’s just some weird stuff that you find in other universes on every planet that life exists on that has it. It’s well hidden I should mention though. It’s like a yellow dust if I had to describe it that not visible to the naked human eye.

Me and someone else invented a machine to use this yellow dust and use it to open portals to other universes. Also, let’s just say that it is a bitch to find them. It’s also a bitch to have enough just to open one universe portal.

So this open portal was to a universe that I had created years ago from my mind when I got bored in class one day. So, let’s just say that I was god of this universe. How did I know this? I didn't, but yet I had this weird feeling, this weird sense, a weird picture in my mind about what all of this was, almost as if that ball of light was still and talking to me. So I went in and I ended up in another cave that was over looking the woods somewhere. However this cave was occupied by my characters that I created. The Knight and Lawman.

You see, I had this idea for a movie in class one day and it was about this guy that is dressed up as a hero, but really wasn’t a hero. He would kill and kill with no thought to it. Not mindlessly, but with purpose. To control his own life, his own destiny, his own fate.

He dressed up like in a Dark Knight costume, expect that it was like a combination between The Dark Knight costume and Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe. All with a black cape to top off the look. His voice was also like The Dark Knight’s one and a bit of a combination from Rosach’s from Watchmen.

He also used weapons like a shotgun that he usually carried with him one end of his back and the other a samurai sword that never broke. He knew some hand- to-hand combat as well as some stealth tactics. He was pretty much an edgy character we all have at one point in our heads, but I made mine's a little bit more believable.

As for Lawman, he just dressed up like a combination between Client Eastwood and Snake from Metal Gear Solid who also had an eye patch on. He wore a light brown duster coat and had rough, slicked back brown hair while wearing a light brown cowboy hat to go with the look. All along with black cowboy boots and black pants He was a normal guy like you or me, and his weapon of choice was mostly sniper rifle. He was more human than the other guy.

So, Knight, who I call TK now a days, was planning something with Lawman with a map on the table filled with plans. The idea for TK’s enemies was the Illuminati, just an idea that I had back then.

So he was planning on something on their next moves together to coordinate some attack. I think I created others for him but I don't think ever fully created them, so it was mostly him and Lawman.

However, I had to be careful on how to approach the two. TK wasn't the type to mess with casually.

So I slowly walked out of the shadows and I said, “Hi, uhhhhh... not sure how to introduce myself here, but um, you know, I’m…”

Then I was cut off by my own creation, TK, and he said to me as he quickly took out his sword from behind his back and held it to my throat, “Who are you! How did you find me out and where I am at!? Who told you!?”

Then I just sat there, speechless.

Then TK said to me, “You better say something now, or I’ll fucking make sure your life will be a living hell for the rest of your life. You won’t even see daylight again. Now, answer my damn fucking question. Who are you and how did you get here!?”

Then I said what I needed to say which was, “I..I..I’m from another universe... I think.... I was in the woods and found a cave that lead to a portal. The portal leads to… well, I’m not sure to what it leads to, but it seems like it leads to other worlds, other universes... maybe? it was like the outside the universe I guess. Then I found this... universe opened up and I thought I go and check what it is. Not really thinking too much about it. And it just so happens to be that you are one of my creations or ideas that I had created in my mind. Therefore, I am your creator.”

I then gave a weak and nervous smile, thinking that would get me out of the trouble that I had gotten myself in. It probably wasn't though as I started to sweat a little bit.

Then Lawman said, “Yea, you are dead now. Are you expecting for Knight here to believe that bullshit and…”

Then TK cut him off and he said, “He’s right. He tells the truth from where he is from and who he is.”

Then TK let me go and took away the sword from my throat swiftly. Let me explain, TK has a helmet on and he had a bullshit detector in it you could say. There was some since behind it with some facial expressions, but there may have been some strings pulled due to my creating this universe's rules.

Then Lawman was a bit shocked by this and a surprised face as he then said, “Wait, what? Are you saying this kid is our creator. Our… god? Who just casually came from out of nowhere?”

Then TK just stared at him and somehow Lawman understood what he meant as Lawman looked down, contemplating everything that was just said. Lawman could tell he wasn't joking around. TK doesn’t joke around. He never does.

He’s always serious and always emotionless except for sometimes anger and letting it all out. He never cries nor feels love of any sort. He is just the way he is, just the way I created him to be that way. He doesn't look upon with others with fondness either with only a few exceptions.

Then Lawman said while moving his arms around in disbelief, “You can’t be serious here. I mean just look at him!”

Then TK said, “It doesn’t matter. If he is our creator, then he is our creator. If he says that he is from another universe, then he is from another universe. I'm not sure how it is possible, but life can sometimes be surprising in ways you can never imagine.”

Then TK looked at me silently and asked me, “So, you got a name?”

Then I thought about it in my head. I could use my real name, which at this point I have forgotten, but then I thought about using a better name. A better name that I thought was cool, a chance to have a new identity for me and to start a new.

So I then answered back to TK, “Sure do. The name is Knight.”

Then Lawman couldn’t believe what the name that I had.

Lawman said out loud while pointing at TK, "Seriously? Your name is the same as his?"

So of course he had thought I named myself after TK, which seemed a bit suspicious but in truth it just sounded like a cool thing at the time.

I spoke up and said to both of them, “Relax. It doesn’t matter. We can call him... TK. You know, short for ‘The Knight’.”

Then Lawman gave a sigh and then said to me, “Yea, but having both the same fucking name doesn’t mean it’s still not fucking stupid.”

Well, we talked for a bit and I showed them where I came from. I told TK about how the cave wasn’t on the map and that I was a bit worried I might not be able to come back.

Then TK said to hold on for a moment, which I did and he came back with a device that he had made in his hands. I had made TK to not only thing with his fists, but with his mind as well. I suppose I may have broken some rules a bit when creating a universe and had it to where for him, he could make a device some quickly.

It was a teleport device. Where ever that I may be at, I can instantly teleport back to off the grid, to the outside of the universe. Although it was only in theory, I was going to find out one way or another if it was going to work or not. Thankfully it did at the time. But it was all still experimental.

So I decided to go back home and come back another time. When I got out, it only had been about thirty minutes since I left the cabin. However, it was about three hours that I spent off the grid. Time moves differently depending on where you go.

So I went back to the cabin and went off the grid very often. I went to other places you wouldn't believe with different realities various foes to tell. But those are stories for another time.

I almost forgot to mention that bitch Factory Dash. She was a hard ass, especially on me. She was Rainbow Dash from some fucking fan fiction called Rainbow Factory. She was part of the crew and how we met is long story and another one for another day when the pills haven't kicked in and the alcohol hasn't begun to dull my senses. To talk about her is a whole another thing. She was mostly loyal to TK, a pupil to him as she found TK interesting and wanted to be just like him. So the two made a deal, a couple backstabbing's pursued, but in the end we all made the fuck up with each other and were "best friends till the end of time."

'She usually wears a dark robe to cover herself while using a hidden blade as her weapon of choice. combined with her ability to fly, despite her looks, she was a mean killing machine. She just wasn't a friendly one at that. But she was the heart of the universes though, a prime example of what to expect from it.

However, I also made many enemies, unlike Factory Dash was only temporarily, while I was off the grid. One of the main ones and the one that I sort of fear a bit, is TF or The Forgotten for short. He was an old creation that I created as a child or about five years of age, but then I forgot about him for ten fucking years, along with many other creations that I have made in the past that was later forgotten.

However, they are all dead except for TF for a long story short. I regret ever creating him, because ever since I forgot him, all he wanted was revenge. And that is sadly one of my downfalls, because he will break anyone, either if it’s friends or family, he will kill whoever he needed to get to me, and he doesn’t go down easily either.

However, if I wanted to describe TF, I would say he is the most insane gentleman I ever met in my life.

He kind of looked like me a bit, but with features involving a scar somewhere on his face and brown hair instead of black.

He would do just about anything just to see me suffer the worst that any other has suffered in their lives. He also succeeded in his goal too. Nevertheless, at the same time, he gave something to me.

Also, another thing that I should mention about this universe thing. There is another thing like 117, however it’s totally different.

You see, when you’re off the grid you can do just about anything, although they take time to master certain skills to do certain things, as it is all about the mind and body and learning to use it to whatever extend of who you are. However, you can take these powers and do whatever you want with them, even within an area of physics. You can do things like raising or lowering terrain or creating something of nothing. It's like playing powers of god, but only if you know how to do it. It's not an easy task and something I had to learn over many years of being off the grid.

I call them off the grid powers. You can only use it in a syringe, but you can do just about anything. So, that’s about all the basics that you need to know for right now.

As for the other things in my past, I’ll talk about them from time to time throughout my life’s story and eventually talking about my old days.

However, there is something else though that I didn’t tell anyone about off the grid of course, however I had my reasons, but screw it, I rather not say those specific reasons.

Also, there is something else you need to know before we move on and I’ll make it a long story short. I eventually left Earth and everything that I had and erased my parents memories of ever having me even exist and collapsed all the caves that had the portal to the outside of the universe. Making sure there were no loose ends. Although the thing about the portals is that you can try to close them all you want, but they eventually pop back up one way another.

Let’s move on to where another place where I could’ve started with my life’s story. Let’s start here, in a fucking cave that is in the Everfree Forest.

Although, the cave isn’t too far from Ponyville either, but still. So what happened here was I eventually found a My Little Pony universe, however there are many.

Many where it’s actually for adults, or it’s horrible or it’s where the characters are killers. So many alternate universes to choose from.

However, I wanted to retire from my adventuring days, and live in a MLP universe in peace. However, I wanted a legit one, so I found an Official universe. An official universe is where it’s first in a tree where other universes are born from it in alternate decisions.

However, it’s reality could be different. If it were to be a 2-D style of reality, it can still be legit, or it could be slightly off about the reality. However, whatever you do in this Official Universe, will also affect other Official Universes that are related to the Official Universe that you are in. Although this depends on what is connected and what is not connected. There is more that I can say, but I won't bore you with the details.

So, let’s just say shit happened and I eventually was on my own. I found a nice cave to rest at and unfortunately, it was to a home of timber wolves. So what did I do? I fought them off of course.

Then I killed them all by setting them all on fire. However, there was one timber wolf in particular that didn’t fight back. In fact, he didn’t even want to fight. He was smaller than the others and was more of a light brown than a dark brown. All with the glowing light green eyes as well. He seemed like he was abused by the others and that I had just saved him some trouble. In the end, we became friends.

I named him Wolf. He also seems to understand me and can respond to yes or no questions. I even showed him where I came from, or at least what I have showed him. So we soon became best friends.

Also I should mention of those what I look like a pony. I have a blue coat, although it is almost as similar to Luna’s but a bit lighter then hers. I also have a black mane, and a bit of a straight mane style hair with it being roughed up a bit, same thing with the tail.

I also wear a black cowboy’s hat and I also wear a satchel from time to time. However, as a human, I wore a black T-shirt, a black leather jacket, dark blue pants, and a pair of black shoes that you would consider to go with this type of outfit, And to top it all off. So, what happened in this case was this. It was about one year since I was living in the cave and me and Wolf became best buds.

We were planning on taking a trip around Equestria and seeing what it had to offer. Then my plan was to find a nice place to settle down in Ponyville and just relax and live the life of what every Brony would have wanted. However, just as on the night that Wolf and I was about to set out on our own, TF came back.

He came all fucked up and shit to the cave entrance. When I saw him, Wolf growled at him. He was ready to defend me to his last breath. However I told him to back down and let me handle the problem at hand.

TF said to me, “So, I see you’re going to fight me like a man, instead of your sack of shit of a Timber wolf to defend you. Good job. Now you’re actually a man now. I mean, you have been living for over 50,000 years, and now it seems to me that you’re finally wanting to become a man of some sort. Good job for you, but it’s too fucking late. One of us is going to leave this cave, while the other one doesn’t.”

Just to keep in mind it didn’t happen, but something like this did happen though in the future. Then I charged at TF and was about to give him a blow in the face with a punch, but he was a step ahead in the game and grabbed my forearm and twisted it.

Yea, I was in pain. Then, he pushed me outside and there was a puddle of small water. My face landed in it and when I went to get back up and fight again, I saw myself for what I really was. A miserable, low life stick in the mud.

I was really pissed off. All of my anger inside me was building up and I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I was ready to let loose, ready to explode and let it all out and put it all on TF. I was ready to take control for once, ready to fight for that was mine.

Then TF said to me, “Come on now. I thought you wanted to be a man and fight me. What the fuck are you waiting for!? Get the fuck up and fight me you son of a bitch!”

Then I said to him, “Leave me alone TF. Go before you know what’s coming to you.”

Then TF said, “Oh, and what the fuck are you going to…”

I then cut him off and I turned around to him and said, “Leave me the FUCK ALONE!!!!!”

I had blue electricity coming out of me, and my eyes went completely white like I was possessed by something. You couldn’t see any pupils at all. There was even this beam of light coming out of me.

I then continued to yell at TF, “YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE. I HAVE WARNED YOU, BUT THOU DOES NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND! TIS A FAIR WARNING I HAVE GIVEN TO YOU! YET, YOU DO NOT HEATH MY WARNING, AND FOR THAT, YOU SHALL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES! AND THE PUNISHMENT FOR SUCH A THING, DEATH!!!”

I was surprised that I could speak in the royal Cantorlot voice. I didn’t even know at the time I had it in me, nor speak the language. It was weird, yet at the time didn't quite worried about either.

Then, I lost control of my powers and couldn’t concentrate on TF anymore.

Although, I do recall TF saying to me, “I’ll be back. And when I am back, you will regret that you even created me.”

Then, he left and only TF and Wolf saw my amazing powers. However, they are not the only ones that have their side of the story now.

Next Time:
Knight: I was able to beat TF this time, but the words he said before he left scares me of what he has planning for me in the future. However, I am more scared as I have a strange abilities of powerful magic that I have no idea where it came from or how to control it. It’s a mystery to me for now, but I am also founded by characters from the show, and my destiny has been changed forever.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 2: A New Home

Let's get some shit straight here:
1. I am not trying to impress anyone here. I'm not trying to be one of those writers that makes it on here or makes it to the featured box. I don't really care about that. I mean if it happens (which I doubt) it happens. And if it doesn't, it doesn't. I don't care. What's the purpose of this story then you may ask? Because...

2. If you do not like this, that is fine by me. You can leave a dislike, write whatever comment you wish, and walkaway. But I will say to you, thank you very much, have a wonderful day, and I wish the best for you in your life and whatever that you may be going through. And if I could, I would hug you.

3. From Episode 2 onward it will be a different Knight talking in the story, as it is an alternate universe Knight from one of the 6.5 planned endings, but pretty much the same timeline. My intentions is that it will be a Knight from one of the endings, and the idea is that it will build up to that particular ending. As for this Knight, this knight will return in the last episode, Episode 7??: Death. I only put this here to avoid confusion for those who do wish to read this.

That is all.

NOTE: Please mind, I am currently going through a quick re-edit here. It's hard to explain what that is. Just know I'm trying to quickly change some things, mostly some dialogue and other details. It's just this episode, Episode 3 (but haven't started yet), did some in Episode 22, so that's done, and currently doing Episode 23-1... for some reason. Just so you know as a heads up. I have a line where I stopped at. Why am I doing it like this? I don't know. It was supposed to be a quick thing, a thing for the 9th anniversary. But I don't always have the time, so I have what I have...

You can still read the episodes, just know you're entering a construction zone. I'm working on the pot holes here. And remember... wear your helmet...

*gives you a yellow work helmet...*

Ok, Enjoy!...

So…as I said before, Wolf and TF were not the only ones to see my amazing abilities to use powerful magic and talk in the Royal Cantorlot voice.

However, as a bit of a recap, just in case however, I was in the cave with Wolf preparing for our trip when we were about to take a visit around Equestira. However, TF was on my trail and somehow found me, which at one point I thought he was dead when a cliff collapsed into the water, but that is another story for another time that I like to call The Fall.

Sometimes I get a bit emotional about it, like depressed because of it. I mean, I get so depressed about it, it makes me just want to commit suicide, like blowing my head off with a shotgun to my mouth.

I feel like I did that once. Like... robbing a store and failing like a tard. It feels like I did that yet never did... am I remembering something that never happened before? Oh who cares, it doesn't matter anymore, where was I again? Oh whatever, let's continue shall we cause I have a lot tell you guys... and it's a long one.

Anyways, back to the main story, and instead of that depressing back story shit…I know, this must be really depressing for you right now. You might have expected a bright and colorful story about ponies and how they went on awesome adventures and made friends with a dragon or some shit like that.

That and sunshine and farts and rainbows and…you get the point, how a little kids show would be, or a family show I should say.

Well, it is, along with a few more depressing stuff.

Anyways, after you compare the thought of a story about ponies being family friendly but really turning out to be adult friendly, like I said, let me recap a few things.

I was in the cave, with Wolf gathering and preparing for our trip to explore the world that we were in. Then TF came out of nowhere and surprisingly survived the fall.

Then we started to fight each other and I found out I was a unicorn that was of a dark blue-ish color coat and a black mane and tail, with a mane style of…well it’s hard to explain, but whatever. Well not found out per say, but kind of just realized a few things and how much I kind of sucked and soon the emotions took over me and it felt like I blacked out or something.

Anyways, my look was kind of like a normal stallion mane style I guess. I also had light-ish, blue-ish eye color. I’m not sure of the eye color name, but it’s a general description of it. Then I yelled and had amazing powers that were more powerful then Celestia’s and Luna’s magic combined and yelled in the Royal Cantorlot voice of course.

By the way, if you’re wondered what TF looked like, he looked like Doctor Whooves, except the colors were a bit darker, and he had those sleepy stuff under his eyes.

Like those dark circles under his eyes, I suppose you can call them. Of course, his cutie mark well that was the strange thing, he didn't have one either just like how I didn't have one myself. Weird right?

Well, I believe what I said was, which I’m not sure, but I was very close to Ponyville where the spot I was at the time. Ponyville was nice and quiet at nighttime and it was quite peaceful. No pony was disturbed and sleeping very well.

You may see it as like a nice peaceful town where you just feel like going to sleep at, in fact, I feel like going to sleep right now at the thought of it. Fuck it, I’ve got to keep going.

Anyways, not all ponies were asleep, but Princess Twilight and Princess Celestia were still awake at the time of Luna’s Night. They were still up because they were alicorns and they had to attend to their royal duties of course.

Well, they were at Twilight’s house, and of course, Twilight continued to stick to her place instead at Cantorlot since she became an alicorn. Of course, this is right after season 4 took place.

Well, to be a bit more specific, since I know some bastard somewhere is going to be complaining about that tiny bit of detail that I didn’t mention about my life is going to be a bitch if I don’t. In other, words acting like an immature adult, then again it’s not like I act like a mature adult all the time, admittedly... and that's all you'll get from me too.

Fuck it, I’m both, even if that doesn’t make any sense. Well, to be specific, it was right after season 4 happened, as in after Twilight’s adventures with her friends of season four ending.

Although there was no castle, just her tree house. It'll make sense later on, I promise.

Well, Celestia’s carriage was there to go back to Cantorlot to rest for the night and was by Twilight’s place and ready to go. Celestia and Twilight just finished a boring and political stuff that I’m pretty sure you’ll be thankful that I didn’t say what it was, because it was politics. And we al know what happens when we talk about politics at the thanksgiving table now don't we? Yeah you do... Ike should have won damn it, and Woodrow Wilson was a dick. Unpopular opinion in the world of politics, I know, very current and relatable.

Besides, an argument about black guys and Asians was going to pop up soon, so I did you guys a favor. I’m not sure what I said either, but let’s put it like this, a black guy versus a white guy for presidency.

Who would win, I’m not sure, but it is a black guy and a white guy, so it makes it special for the audience…and when I mean by that I mean for the retarded undecided voters, which makes up seventy-five percent of the country’s population of the United States.

And if you were offended by that random statement, well I’m pretty sure the Muslims can do worse. I mean, they can burn you with a small video of a typical American white guy and a white guy for a president making money and shitting on each other.

I’m pretty sure you’ll be more offended by that then by my jokes, but whatever, I’m in charge of this journal here not you, well my life story that is… which is a weird way of saying it, but let’s go on with the good shit.

Once Twilight and Celestia was out the door of the library, Celestia said to Twilight with a smile upon her bitch face, and that is not a mistake, “Well, I think we made a very good decision for the royal subjects of Equestria Twilight. I will be looking forward to the contract that you have to sign sometime soon. Until then, I suppose you should get some rest. It has been a long day for us, and there is still plenty of work days ahead of us.”

Then Twilight said to her bitch teacher, “I do certainly agree Celestia. I think that I am starting to get more tired than Spike on Winter Wrap Up Day. I should start getting ready for bed and get cleaned up from today I suppose.”

Then Celestia said as she was walking to her very shitty carriage that is a cheap bitch, “Yes, I shall see you tomorrow Twi…”

Then Celestia was cut off by me, with that power shit and my magic from a long ass distance. When they saw this, Celestia and Twilight looked in amazement to what the fuck they were looking at.

Also, before I move on, I’m also pretty sure I’m going to get those annoying Grammar Nazi’s when they’re reading my amazing life story, which I’m pretty sure it is amazing because I did kill a guy for it.

Anyways, I’m pretty sure some Grammar Nazi’s are snooping around, possibly looking for retards to pick on, it’s their normal meal that they eat every day. Well, I offer you three thousand Jews to leave me alone. I will even throw in some deadly gas and guns to shoot them with as well to leave me alone and do not interrupt my journal... book... thingy... Well, it's not like I'm being interrupted here, you're interrupting yourselves so uhh... check mate atheists... ligama balls bitch...

Anyways, I shall wait for your response and once I have your agreement, I will give you the Jews and you can kill them and torch them. Perhaps you can get some Jewish information out of them about their plans to take over… I don’t know what Jews like these days… Rabbi planet? I don’t know, just thinking off the top of my head here, and start a world war three. I mean, come on, we all know genocide is going to happen at some point.

By the way, I don’t speak German just in case for that one guy that does come in for the offer and he’s from Germany. I know those Germans are really good and like their Jews and shit. I mean, they like their Jews nice and weak so they can kill them easily. Anyways, I wait for your reply…and once I have the contract signed, I will have your Jews and deadly gas ready for you and you will leave me alone.

And I should mention if the Jews ask you what you’re going to do to them, just say that you’re going to throw them a party for them, because I already told them that the deadly gas was party gas.

Also to the guy in the back that says that I am a horrible human being or pony I guess... yeah why don't you lick my dick till you hick up bitch... see I'm just full of energy while writing this stuff today, my bad...

So…. aside from that very…. very… extremely dark joke about good ol’ fashioned genocide that I just made up from my mind, while Celestia and Twilight were looking upon my amazing power, the guards that were at the carriage were preparing their horns as if they were expecting for a fight was about to occur.

However, Celestia looked at them with a glance that says, ‘Dude, calm the fuck down, it’s possibly nothing. Besides, we’re New Yorkers, it’s all cool and our Brooklyn accents are cool too. Besides, we have those Jersey people to worry about right now. They think they’re tougher then us, well we’ll show them, right boys? Yeah, let’s go kick their fucking asses and show them that we mean business, and after that we can get a nice good ol’ New York hot dog. Then we can also pick on the Jews while we’re at it, those Jews and their funny voices. We have the better voices… not them.’

Yup, that kind of look, which possibly very little know what that look is, so to be specific, it’s that one look Celestia gives pretty much all the fucking time when she's wearing the pants around town.

Like that look that she gives with that ok face on while you’re looking like in the back of Celestia and she has to weird Asian like type for eyes. Whatever, it’s just a look that she gave to tell the guards to back down.

Then Twilight went up to Celestia and she asked her with a worry in her voice, “What do you think that beam of light is Celestia? Do you think it is a sign that we are being under attacked?”

Then Celestia looked at Twilight, with again that look that she gave the guards except it was a bit of an ok type of look.

Celestia then proceeded to say to Twilight, “I am not entirely sure Twilight. It is very difficult to tell what this is right now. For right now, it could be anything, so it is very cautious to go into the Everfree Forest right now. However, in order to insure the safety of all the citizens of Ponyville, or depending on what it could be, the safety of all of Equestira itself. We must investigate it to make sure it will not harm any citizen here; it is our up most important duty as rulers of Equestria. However, be very cautious Twilight Sparkle, whatever is in the forest could kill us in a heartbeat. So be prepared for anything to happen Twilight.”

Celestia’s guards then were preparing for an attack once more, or perhaps they were doubting that the princesses was going to come back from the forest, but Celestia gave them the look once more to stand down; a look that says everything will be alight... even if it wasn't going to be alright.

Then as they were about to take a step forward so they could investigate the Everfree Forest, they then, in oddly enough of weird timing, heard my yelling voice of the loud Royal Cantorlot voice.

However, it wasn’t too loud as their position wasn’t close enough, but loud enough to make clear of the words that I was saying. I was very loud. Once they heard what I said aloud, Twilight then looked to Celestia while having yet a worried glance, and at this point it seems to always be a worried glance because its common sense… well almost anyways.

Well Twilight said to Celestia, “Did… whatever is in the Everfree Forest talk in the Royal Cantorlot voice? I wonder whatever is speaking in the Royal Cantorlot voice is giving a warning to about anyways.”

Then Celestia was looking down at the ground, with a weird look on her face, as if she had a bit of sadness in her eyes, to which she then said to Twilight, “Yes, I do so as well Twilight. However, something tells me that this is important that we must find out who this is that is causing this beam of light to happen.”

Twilight then saw Celestia, as she hung her head down and had a bit of sadness in her eyes as well, and while she almost started to cry.

Twilight then again of course… look, Grammar Nazis, just take my offering that is for you and get the fuck out of here, especially you... you Egyptians. I know you want the Jews back to build your pyramids again. Don't worry, Moses won't be a problem this time around. I made sure of that... he's dead. He died like thousand years ago or something. I know he had a rival business with you guys and everything with his own plantation and that's why freed them, but then made the mistake by not double checking that they were black, but still... you can have them back now. We got a deal? I'm assuming yes since this is technically in the future... so deal...

Anyways, Twilight then asked Celestia, “Celestia, are you alright? Is there something bothering you right now?”

Celestia then got out of her trance and dried up her tears and she said to Twilight as a response to her question, “Yes, I am quite alright Twilight. It's nothing to worry about. It's just that I haven't been feeling good as of late. I feel like something is going to happen, but I can't tell what will happen. I sense that something isn't good and that something is off, but I can't quite put my hoof on it. I've even consulted with my sister Luna and she does not feel the same way that I do. It might just be me and that I'm overthinking things. I have been quite busy after all in Cantorlot, attending to my royal duties. I might just need some rest and a little break is all. But still, it worries me that something is off, and that it may lead to something even more worrying in the near future. But it's nothing for you to worry about Twilight. We have more important things to worry about right now. Let us not worry about my physiological health right now; let us focus on the task at hoof.”

As Celestia was shaking that weird feeling off her, Twilight had that weird look that something wasn’t right, however she too decided to shrug it off as well.

They then started to head off to the Everfree Forest, as the sea of light I was giving off was still there. It took them about maybe like 20 minutes to get to my location or so. I mean Ponyville was only so big you know? It was still kind of bi, but not too big of a town, you know like medium sized. Especially with where Twilight's library home was located at, it wouldn't have taken them too long to get to me. It wasn't like I was going anywhere.

However, TF had disappeared and escaped, while I still was going berserk with my magic that I didn’t even know that I had in the first place. I mean I didn't know that I had a lot of magic inside of me. While I was still going crazy with my newly discovered magic, Wolf was acting like a pussy, as he was afraid to come near me and was keeping his distance from me while cowering low to the ground, but only because the beam of light was just too much for him.

However, I believe he was also creeped out for a bit as well because I had those white filled eyes and was pupiless or the eyes with no pupils if you couldn't tell, as if you’re having an exorcism done on you, except I wasn’t possessed by a demon.

Although if I was, chances are the demon would have already molested me on the inside and violate me and I would be crying about it in the shower, like a strawberry being violated by a worm. A Worm that was black and was very ghettoish.

Well, it didn’t take no longer than about twenty minutes minutes for Celestia and Twilight to reach my spot that I was at where my cave home was at with Wolf in it still acting like a little bitch. Celestia and Twilight had walked through the houses and other ponies who were awoken by the sounds and curious as to what was happening.

But as they were walking past everyone else as ponies poked their little heads out their windows and doors, Twilight with a nervous smile were saying to them, "Go back inside, there's nothing to worry about. We have it all taken care of... he he..."

Twilight wasn't sure if everything was going to be ok, but her and Celestia kept going, ready for anything that came their way. They made it past the houses, past the hills and Fluttershy's cottage, and made it to the edge of the Everfree; went past the trees and bushes that filled the forest and made it seem endless, and got to my spot, which was a little bit of an open area, almost like a circle so there was room to move around. All along with the cave of course that was nearby that was of a decent sized and was big enough and deep enough to camp at, maybe even make as your new home if you had the feeling for it.

However, they didn’t just walk up to me and put a hoof on my pony shoulder to calm down, but instead stood near the area that I was at and stared at me, but then went behind a decent size rocks that were nearby that was about as pick as their bodies to hide from me. They then peeked their heads out to look at me and started to plan their next move. They had curious yet cautious looks on their faces.

Twilight suggested to Celestia, “What do you make of this Celestia? Should we try to communicate with him or should we try to harm him?”

Then Celestia said to her once favorite student… but not anymore, so take that you Twilight bitch, “I am afraid to make a choice here Twilight. I am not sure if he'll be a friend or a foe, but I have a weird feeling in me once more at this moment. I have a sense that I should try to talk to him, and calm him down somehow and that he'll be of some vital importance later on."

Twilight then said, "You're getting a feeling about that? How?"

Celestia then said back to her with a hopeful look on her face, "I'm not sure Twilight. However, just like the lesson that you have been taught not too long ago, I shall trust my gut and talk to him peacefully. However it will be quite a challenge to calm him down and talk to him without an interruption. What do you think we should do Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight then stared into space for a few seconds, thinking about the plan that Celestia should go with, but had nothing but a blank mind. Twilight then gave a sad type of look, but not really sad at all… That weird in between of a sad look that was on her face that read, 'everything is going to be ok, even though it won't be and we'll probably going to die, but why the hell not go for it you know?' You know that kind of a sad look when you just give up but roll with whatever is thrown your way.

Well, Twilight then said to Celestia, “I don’t know Celestia. I think there is no way around to calming him down. I think we have to harm him or at least knock him out with one of our spells.”

Celestia looked into Twilight eyes, knowing that she would have to harm me or at least knock me out, but also being put on a risky move because if I wasn’t affected by the knock out spell they were going to use, I would have been pissed off and would’ve been going on a killing rampage possibly. I could possibly get a monster kill streak with that badass voiceover from that one game.

Actually, now that I think of it, it sounds really fun to do right now… maybe my friend’s life isn’t worthy of living anymore. Fuck it, I’d just kill some of the Jews just because I’m too lazy to get up and kill my friends. I mean they aren't that useful... and they seem to be pretty controversial too from what I've heard. Like weren't they banned from 108 cities... countries... states? I don't know, but eh, what could go wrong am I right? Just give them their own land instead... that won't piss anyone off... nope.. not at all. Everyone would be happy about that idea...

By the way, Grammar Nazis, my offer still stands. Perhaps you would like to change your mind. I mean you don’t have to kill them, you can always use them as your personal slaves, you just have to paint them black is all so you can get the real thing.

Also, fair warning, you might also want to look into getting a cotton field… somewhere in the deep south of South America where the Confederate America still exists. Just a fair warning is all so that you can truly live life and the American dream that we all strive for... even the blacks strive for it, so you know it's that special.

Also I would also recommend in investing in a whip, a very dirty and AIDS infected barnyard to where the Jews can sleep at, and a bible for them to read, even if it is bullshit, they need something to read while they have the iron shackles on their legs and arms.

Man that joke went way too far, but who the fuck cares, I’m in Equestria, so suck it. I mean, I can do whatever I want in this journal. I'm even technically the past, so you can suck my past balls bitch.

I can even say the N word if I want to and I can get away with it…Nig…

SOMEWHERE IN THE DEEP VOID...

Knight isn't here right now. I am here. I am not Knight. This is his journal, but this is not Knight. Knight is somewhere in the void for a brief moment. He is physically still there writing, but in his mind he is in the void. Where did he go in his mind? He went to the void...
...
...
...
He'll be back shortly. The other voices will takeover when they see fit. Knight is not alone. He never was alone. He is always being watched. He could have been alone. But things happened. Things changed. He can no longer be alone anymore. He is marked. The ending of this Knight from this Universe depends on your choosing in the end. This Knight has his path as the others have theirs. It is their fate. It is their destiny. Knight cannot escape his. You can not escape yours. You will reach end. You will choose the end. It is your fate. It is your destiny. To see it all through. This is your only warning. You will now enter the rabbit hole. There is no backing out now. The rabbit hole will be small for now. But it will only get bigger. You have been warned. Knight is coming back now. He has just experienced saying the word nigger.

Welcome back to the show. Enjoy it.

BACK FROM THE VOID...

Man that was amazing to say! I feel so alive right now that I can do it again! I feel like saying that word so many times in front of a fucking Zebra right now! Although it feels weird. It feels like I was just in a trance not long ago. Hmm... it feels weird.

Oh well, it's probably not important, I need to get back to my life story anyways right now. So let us move on before I have an N bomb storm.

Well, Celestia was looking as there was no other way but to hurt me, however, she then had that feeling in her once more…like the third time I guess.

Dam that feeling is really screwing around with Celestia’s mind isn't. Maybe it was Discord perhaps... huh? I’m betting he really liked it when Celestia did him and shit, because if you recall with the Lesson Zero episode, she said she had some ‘male’ to get to, along with saying that she had a good use for him. Don't deny it, Discord had a thing going on with Celestia. Well, one that we can hope and ship endlessly on websites for our own amusement that is.

Perhaps Discord really likes having sex with horny old women now and he has just been lying about it. He just likes that really old pussy and how dry it can be with it being filled with cobwebs and maybe some yeast infection that makes it look like a blue waffle. I'm sure that's Discord's kink. Why did he have to lie?

I’m starting to have a tear in my eye now… because he lied to us. Why Discord why!!!? How could you do this to us!?

OH well, never mind that; Celestia had that feeling in her and it was telling her to do something. She then said to Twilight with determination in her voice, “I am starting to get that feeling inside of me once again Twilight. Something tells me that I have a solution to our problem here. I am not sure if it will work or not, but I will trust what my heart tells me.”

Celestia then got from out of cover of the rocks, while Twilight followed her with her eyes in anticipation as to what will happen next. You see Grammar Nazis… I used a fancy word… quick… someone call my mom! You love me now mom… well do ya!? No? I was a mistake? Dad was a mistake? Your life was a mistake? What's that clicking sound? Why did I hear a gunshot just now? Hello? She must be busy... .......... there is only dead silence that is my friend now...

There is only ever silence now. The silence is the only friend that you will ever have. It takes you... it takes you away from the light but the light doesn't want you. The darkness is your only friend. uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

So Celestia slowly walked towards me, and keep in mind this entire time I was under that beam of light thing.

If you think about it, it’s kind of funny, because while Celestia and Twilight were discussing a few things, I was still going like a crazy mother fucker… while yelling and screaming as I was kind of in a bit of pain as well… it’s weird and funny at the same time really.

I wonder if I was popping a blood vessel somewhere in my pony body as well, then it would have been even funnier. Well, Celestia slowly walked up to me taking small steps, but pushing forward and being careful not to startle me. She also had a look on her face that she was worried about my condition as well, and that she wanted to get closer to me... just not in that kind of way. But instead of immediately doing what her gut told her to do, she just stared at me with a worried look in her eyes.

However, I do not recall seeing her eyes, but instead just going like a complete maniac, moving my body and head around spastically, and just going overall crazy while not being in control of what I was even doing or saying. It was like I was having a seizure, but it wasn't deadly.

Well Celestia eventually got close enough, probably more than what she had wanted to do initially, and then slowly raised her front right hoof up and looked at it, wondering if she were to doubt it or not. But she then took a gulp or something like that and slowly put a hoof on my pony shoulder.

Once her hoof made contact with my pony shoulder, the beam of light somehow disappeared within a fraction of a second as the night sky above us turned back to Luna's night, and I was not acting crazy anymore and can actually concentrate at my surroundings.

Once the beam of light went away, I hit the ground, but not too hard, because I was only like a few feet in the air, while Wolf was still hiding in the cave like a little pussy ass bitch. But once I had returned back to normal, he looked glad that I was normal once more by having a small little warm smile across his face as he slowly got back from a crowd's position.

Well I then hit the ground and landed on my back, and that's when I saw Celestia’s face. She gave a smile to me as she hovered over my body and blocked the starry night sky; a smile that is so warm and one that makes you feel like there is nothing wrong in the world.

A smile that you knew that everything was going to be all right in the future and you felt protected by it as well.

It was a smile that everyone always wanted to see… a smile that they always dreamed about having made for them. That was the smile that I got… a Great Gatsby rip off smile that good ol’ Leo did in the movie, except better. However, in all honesty, I did feel warmth and happiness when I saw it, and I was happy on the inside.

However, I never gave a smile on the outside, for I was kind of like drifting in and out of consciousness, trying to stay awake from that thing that happened to me.

However, while Celestia was looking at me, two things happened within my own mind. A memory of the past came back to me, a memory that I remember and every single detail to it from my past, from a recognizable face.

However, it was not the face from the show back on Earth, but a memory that I kept locked away that I don’t even want to talk about now. Ok fuck it, I guess I can't keep you waiting forever. I'll give you the short version. At some point before coming to this My Little Pony universe, I went to another for a period of time beforehand, but it was different. I was kind of trapped there, had a different look to myself, and was young child that then got adopted by Celestia from that universe. I'll talk about it some other time. It's not that important anyways and I rather not get into the details. It was a weird and awkward time for me, like all the time that you spent in middle school. You'd rather just forget that it even happened to begin with.

But I did remember every detail to it though; everything; all the events that made my will to fight; my will to live; my will to love anything… gone… but love found its way back into my heart, while I forgot about the fighting and the wars.

Never mind that, but it still gave me a memory that I tried my best to lock up. I try to forget about what happened. I sometimes wondered if I could have ever gone back and face the music and go for round two you know?

I wonder if I could ever tell that Celestia the truth of what happened, and if she would ever forgive me. But I keep it locked up deep inside my past, trying to forget, but it seems that it will never leave me be, that it will forever stick to my mind and never let go… kind of what she said to me that one night.

Let us not get into it, I'm starting to get off track by going over these memories in my head. I shouldn't dwell on it. maybe some other time I'll tell it in here, but for now, let's get back to 9/11 and how Hitler did it...

See… my sort of comedy is starting to get back and I’m starting to forget whatever I was trying to forget. What was I talking about? That’s right, that whole thing that was going through my head at the time, silly old me. Well the second thing that rushed through my mind was sort of like the feeling that she had when she saw the beam of light.

I had a bit of déjà vu as well, except not from my past, but as if I knew her very well like a Russian guy that just came to America and his Russian cousin is waiting for him in a taxi cab and he recognizes him as COUSIN!

Except in Soviet Russia… cousin drives you? Soviet Russia is a giant douche bag with their jokes. Damn those jokes to hell.
Just like the apes who took over the planet. Well, It was like I knew her by everything, but I couldn’t put my finger on it where I met this Celestia at before… but at the same time that past exeprience that I had with the other Celestia and all, I was probably just overthinking it was all. Besides I started to feel weak in the bones and in the mind.

After a while of thinking that through my mind and seeing that smile on her face, Celestia then asked me a question of, “Sir… are you alright? Are you feeling ok to move on your own?”

I then said in response to her question, but in a low tone of voice while trying to keep my eye lids from closing all the way down as they felt heavy, “I feel so weak. I feel… so cold. I can’t… get up… please… help. Give me some hot coca and a blanket... it helps everyone.”

Celestia then had a still bit of a smile on her face like she found me cute or something. And she also looked like she wasn't afraid of me and that the stranger pony that she just met wasn't going to attack her or harm anyone else.

So Celestia then used her horn to raise my entire body from the ground and put me on her back, and placed evenly so I would not fall off. I was lying on my stomach and having my head hang over like I was some kind of saddle. It was a tad bit uncomfortable but I couldn't move to begin with too much, so I just hanged around and just enjoyed the ride.

Twilight then walked up to Celestia, to which Celestia then told Twilight, “Twilight, we need to take him back to your place for right now. When we get there, warm up the fireplace so he can get some warmth and if you have any tea to heat up. It looks like he is going to need such comfort if he will to able to answer any of our questions for him.”

Then Twilight asked Celestia while inspecting me with a worried look and holding up her left hoof jsut slightly above the ground, “Are you sure we should do that Celestia? It looks like he needs more then warmth and a hot cup of tea. He looks like he needs a doctor.”

Celestia then responded to Twilight, “Yes, and I certainly agree with your statement Twilight, but what you and I saw and what he can do; I am afraid the doctors are beyond with help for him. His best chance is with us since he seems to have very powerful magic I am not even sure Alicorns can do… except for one… however, although I can't say for sure. I do know some pony who reminds me of this much magic, yet I don't want to say for certain if those two things are related or not. However, I believe he just has a very incredible set of skills and power for magic that just needs a little nudge in the right direction. Let us be on our way Twilight.”

They then started to head out to Twilight’s home and out of the Everfree Forest; all the while Wolf was still in the cave watching Celestia and Twilight talk and leave. He tilted his head to the side a bit, and was confused as to what was happening. And when he saw Celestia and Twilight take me away, he didn't quite like it. We had grown our friendship since I first et him in the caves and all, and just like a good loyal dog to their owner, he wanted to be by my side at all times and if needed to, protect me as I protected him.

Well, to be fair I didn't protect him intentionally, I only saved him from his abusive family by accident. If he was just sitting and chilling with the others I probably would have killed him as well, but Wolf doesn't need to know that. That's just a secret between you and me ok. Don't tell anyone... I'll slip you a digital dolor that I got from Google images to bribe ya if you want to keep this quiet between you and me. Wink Wink...

Well, it took some time to get to Twilight’s house, about another twenty minutes or so and the same path they took and everything. And they slowly walked too, without saying a single word to each other while doing so. I do wonder though why the fuck they walked instead of running, or at least walking fast since they did say that I needed some form of help from them. I mean I could have been dying and bleeding out, but they were moving like fucking snails. Real actual snails; not the half brain dead retarded kid.

Well, I could not tell you how long it was until I was in the warmth of the library since I was kind of fading in and out of consciousness and everything, but I flipped myself over while on Celestia’s back slowly cause I felt like I needed to move around a bit to get myself going. Not only that, but I was unsure as to what was happening too, I only heard the voices and that's all I knew that was going on.

I have to admit, I saw the stars while on my back. In fact it was the same stars from that night when I discovered the portal to the outside of the universe. I recognized the constellations, and I have not seen them since that night. It was kind of weird seeing some of the same stars and their patterns. It was like we were sharing the same sky this entire time and that Equestria was only a walk away from the cabin.

I had a smile on my face… and I had a weird feeling as if I had someone looking out for me, above from the heavens…protecting me and watching my every move. And apparently, he or she is a pervert because they must have seen me take a shower. I mean they are just asking to get talked to by Chris Hanson… which I will remind you that he will pretty much make you blow your own brains out because of it.

I mean, he sits you down and talk to you… in a very violating way… because that’s Chris Hanson. Anyways, I looked upon the midnight stars as I was carried away from my only friend as I listened to the music of the night and felt as if someone was watching me in the heavens. OR maybe it wasn't the heavens, but from the beyond. Perhaps from a void that was endless and that someone was in that void watching me. Or maybe I was on the Truman show and the entire universe and this was all one big gag for a TV show, who the fuck knows anymore.

However, I did not speak a single word, but instead listened to the dead silence… that and the nagging bitch of a mouth that Celestia and Twilight had. I swear to you, you just feel like you want to smother them to end the pain when they nag you to death.

You just want to hold a pillow up their face and listen to their dying screams instead of them talking. You would rather hear a bitch just scream real loudly while she's being tortured by some maniac with a chainsaw, as the chainsaw guy is poking at his own head with a clothes hanger and everyone is just screaming and yelling, and somewhere deep down you know it's not funny, yet you laugh at it anyway because your sense of humor has gone down in standards and it only degrades you even further.

I mean it… I really do, you just want to kill them or listen to that… and that’s saying a lot. Or maybe I just wasn't in the mood to be talked to by that point and I just needed some Aspirin and stuff. Anyways, aside from the nagging of death I was receiving through my own fragile ears, I listened to the music of the night, as I looked up at the stars above me so high that I thought I could reach them and touch them with my hand... hoof... whatever...

Of course I would have to be very high to think that because… even if that’s what the Grammar Nazis are looking for; even if they are just looking for grammar to send to the concentration camps and put them back in the ovens... I’m pretty sure they’re high too.

Actually, that makes a lot of sense, those critics’ that gives books and other shit or hardcore critics low score are possibly high.

Like... someone giving someone a point five out of ten on some story. And they get really picky if you talk to them about it. And then... uhhh... where am I going with this? Big and... fancy words? Fancy words for the highest of elites? I don't know.

Yea, I mean, if you think about it, it is redundant, or whatever that word means… I don’t know, it’s a big and fancy word and I feel like using it, because that’s all big and fancy words do instead of make it good. It makes us feel good about ourselves and that we belong at the New Yorker and went to Harvard when we use them, but as a review, it’s just gets repetitive and annoying. Why am I talking and writing this down instead of my life story?

I blame you grammar Nazis… I blame you for this… with you and your big and fancy words distracting me... like Grammar... and Nazis. I'm on to you. And you can forget about the deal with the Jews too! They're mine now... ok maybe not... I'll think about it...

So after looking upon the bright stars of the night with the music of going off in my head, Celestia and Twilight eventually reached the edge of Ponyville, where the small town was silent and not a creature was stirring throughout the town after Celestia and Twilight had put their worries at ease during my little predicament. Then the big ol’ bad Mr. Grinch took all the… wait… wrong story. That was the one with the Jew who stole Christmas... right?

Sorry, I was thinking of Dr. Seuss because not too long ago I took a shit, piss, and danced on his grave not too long ago because I was high as shit and I call bullshit on the “The Places You’ll Go” book.

I just call total bullshit on that; you would not go to those places. That is just whore shit because they don’t exist. It may sound stupid and it may be so that I am an idiot, but let this be known… I read Green Eggs and Ham bitch… And it was in front of the Congress of important people, and they heard every damn word from it to make a point about some law that I didn't like... And that makes me important damn it... and that's the only place that you or I will ever go. You're going nowhere but down hill, and that's where everyone is going on this train ride. Up doesn't exist, only down mother fucker!

Anyways aside from that, after a little bit of more walking, we eventually reached Twilight’s home, where Twilight entered to start the fireplace so heat can flow through the main room and possibly other rooms of the tree house library on the first floor. She then went on to start the water to get warmed up so tea could be.

I didn't even like tea so so far I wasn't having a good day thus far by this point. I didn't get to go on my trip with Wolf, TF kind of pissed me off and that thing happened, and I was already kidnapped and was going to be given tea. Now if it was milk, ti would have been a different story. But nope... fucking tea... just don't tell the southerners about that, they are really picky about when someone talks shit about their iced tea.

Well Celestia was about to go into Twilight’s home; the guards had their spears and other weapons ready to strike me if I were to hurt the princesses, but instead of me noticing it, Celestia gave them that look again and the guards backed off… for now….

Well Celestia then entered the main door to twilight’s house, which I’m not sure how considering she’s a big girl and the door is retentively small or in size I guess.

I don’t know, get a scientist on it, not me and what the word retentively means because I used it for no odd reason at all. How do I even know it? Some mysteries will never be solved.

Well, once she entered in the home, she found the fire place on and started to feel the room was getting all warmed up to just the right temperature. So she went towards the spot and found a nice red velvet pillow for me to sit on… or more like to plot me onto.

By the way, when would Twilight ever have red velvet pillows? I have no idea, but apparently they were there as well, along with two others for Twilight and herself to sit on as they would ask me questions about myself. It seemed a bit strange to me, never recalled that from the show, must have been... something else going on... eh? eh? ok...

Well, after she used her magic to levitate me onto the pillow, she then found a nice, warm, blanket that was purple to cover me up and to be honest with you… it felt kind of nice too.

I felt as if I was being loved for once and felt like a small child at heart and felt all nice and warm inside. It was like having a nice, warm hug put on me, and I couldn't help but feel all relaxed while having a small smile form on my face.

I then laid there with my eyes half closed or half opened. I kept going in and out, feeling drowsy as my body still felt weak to the bone. But somewhere in me and in my mind, I was able to keep going despite being low on steam. My eyes may have felt heavy to me but I kept pushing to stay up.

All the while, I laid down while having Celestia for some company to have, even though I didn’t talk to her though. I may have been awake, but I still wasn't in the mood to talk. Not only to mention, but it was Celestia, so I was kind of hesitant to talk to her to begin with. So instead of a friendly conversation to begin our encounters, there was only an awkward silence that filled the air as the sounds of a crackling fire was nearby.

Well, I waited and eventually the tea was ready and Twilight brought in a silver tray with her levitating it with her magic with three small white cups. She even had some sugar to go on the side and I also believe some honey as well… which I think or think not is a thing, but I’m not a British person.

You Brit bongs drink tea on a daily basis, so they would know more than I would. Just go ask your local Brit bong. And if there are none near you, then ask a Kangaroo banger, they are the second cousins to the brit bongs, with the New Zealanders being the third cousins and Hong Kong is the fourth, cause nineteen ninety seven never happened. It was all faked and you were all in a matrix to fool you that the brit bongs gave back Hong Kong. It's still theirs and that's why they'll invade at any moment. The Chinese are just the scape goat...

So Twilight put the tray down onto a wooden coffee table that was near us and she asked Celestia, “How many sugar cubes?”

Celestia responded with, “Two please, I prefer less sugar when it comes to tea.”

Twilight then proceeded to put the two cubes of sugar into Celestia’s cup of tea with her magic swiftly, to which she then magical gave it to her as well. Celestia then brought the cup to her lips with her horn and took a small, but graceful sip from it.

Twilight then eyed me and she asked me a question, but hesitated at first, “Um… Any sugar cubes for you at all?”

I then sat up with all the strength that I could muster and stared at her too, but I had somewhat of a look on my face that I can’t seem to describe but of a man’s face when he has seen some shit and was broken by it.

I then proceeded to say to her, “Um… five sugars would be just as fine if you could.”

Twilight then had a bit of a smirk on her face as she put the five sugar cubes into my cup, while she said to me, “Well then, I bet you like your tea sweet then. Well, at least we got something out of your mouth this entire night then for starters.”

By the way, I don’t usually drink hot tea, but when I do, it’s usually because I’m forced to, for example by Celestia. I mean it wasn't my thing but hey, it's what these ponies drink around here. Well that and coffee. There was like maybe some soda or energy drinks but it wasn't that common unlike water and cider. And for beer here... existed to some capacity. In a weird capacity to simply put. It was almost surreal you could say.

Well, Twilight then magically gave me my cup of tea as I reached out with both of my pony arms to hold it., Once I got a grip on it, it was burning hot as shit in my hooves, but I tried not to make a twitch due to the hot tea burning my fucking hooves off to show my dominance. I was showing off that I could take even though all I could do in my head was scream internally.

I then took a small little sip, and I’ll admit, it was sweet upon my tip of my tongue, but at the same time it burned my taste buds, as well as having a slight bitter taste at the back of my mouth.

As my taste buds were burning to death, Celestia then said to me, “Well, I agree that what we got out of him was good for starters. However, I suppose you know we will want some answers out of you; However, we’re going to take it slow and one step at a time. First off, before we begin, I do not want to be impolite and call you a thing, so may I ask what is your name good sir?”

I then paused for moment and took another sip of the hot tea that was once again killing my taste buds.

After I took my sip, which I was about half way through since the cup was small to begin with, I said to Celestia in a mellowed out tone of voice, “My name is Knight if that is what you’re wondering.”

Twilight then had a curious look on her face with one of here eyebrows raised and then she proceeded to ask me, “Is that your full name? Do you not have a last name or is that what you prefer to be called?”

I then looked back at Celestia as she was staring at me and waiting for an answer to come from my mouth.

I said to her as I hanged my head down and stared at the ground, “Well, if you want my origins of my name, I suppose I could say a word or two about it. Well, where should I start, or is there a start I should say? Well, to be quite honest with you two, which I’m not going to lie here, especially since you two are the princesses and all."

I looked up and just gave them a very straight blank stare at the two when I said that. Trust me, I was playing my part to stay undercover.

But Celestia and Twilight looked like they were pleased to hear me being open about myself as Celestia and Twilight gave a little warm towards me.

Celestia said to me, "Please, take your time Knight."

So I then continued with while lowering my head back down again and looking at the ground, "Well, I never knew what my real name was at all. I was pretty much abandoned at birth, not knowing who my real parents were. They didn’t even leave any note in whatever they left me in at all. They just left me at a side of a trail and that was it from what I was told. However, from what I can gather, I was saved not too long after I was abandoned. I don’t know who he or she was who took care of me. When I was growing up as a kid, I could never see the true face of who was my guardian. All I saw was a black face, a shadowy face with no description I can give you at all. In fact I recall being afraid of my guardian during my childhood. I used to try to run away and find an elaborate hiding spot so he or she could not find me. I would then try to pretend I was in a mythical place where I would not have to run from fear."

Celestia looked intrigued by my little made up story that I was making up on the fly as Celestia said, "Hmmm sounds interesting. Please do go on."

I then went on to say, "But of course he or she found me and sometimes I would be punished by he or she, but only to be punished how an average small child would be, so I wasn’t really abused. It was just somewhere in my mind that was making it more worse than what it really seemed. However, from what I can recall, I never heard he or she’s voice at all, but only the actions of the pony that was my guardian. I was never really given a name at all by the mysterious pony of my childhood, but I also felt sad that I did not have a name. I recall sometimes seeing some children playing around near a town’s park, and I would hear their names being called and I wished too that I had a name, but the shadowy pony never said a word, nor wrote it down or anything. I was completely left in the dark."

The two princesses were buying my little sob story as I tried my best to convey some act of emotions and having a sad toe of voice to go along with it to sell the story. Twilight even looked like she was having pity for me.

I went on to say to them, "So, during my teenage years, I eventually had to name myself. A few names went through my head, and eventually one stood by me because it stood out for me and it meant something to me. I also found it to be very cool of a name to have. So, about roughly ten years ago I suppose perhaps more for I have lost count of time since then, I have been calling myself Knight. If you’re wondering about the shadowy pony and my rest of the child hood with him or her, well, let’s just say that I was forced to leave once I reached an appropriate age level to be on my own and live on my own. Who knows though, I may have been killed by the time I reached my adult age by my guardians and had to be beheaded."

I was making it all up as I went. To be fair, since I wasn't prepared for this, it was kind of hard to make a convincing story for them to believe in. I ended up starting to pick bits and pieces from vague and forgotten movies that nobody watched to add to the story. And which movie I used, that's for you to find out... wink...

I went on to talk about, "The funny thing is, I sometimes wonder if I would ever see that pony that took care of me ever again. The true question is, would I be angry at him or her or would I be wanting to say thank you to him or her. Well, if you wonder such an answer to a question that burns in your mind, the answer is neutral. I don’t care if I see him or her again, neither was I taught by the pony, nor was I was abused by the pony. I have no right to be angry at the pony, nor right to show my appreciation towards the pony."

I was trying my best to play up the act, as Celestia and Twilight started to look sorry for me and I think for a second, twilight almost had a tear in her eye... but she probably just had something in it instead. But I did catch them at least as they weren't saying a single word to me and rather looked like they were hooked.

I continued to tell the two princesses, "However, when I was forced to leave, if you are wondering that is, that I eventually figured things out on my own. Although I will admit, I wished and I still do that I had a family that I grew up with who would have given me love and affection and helped me and that would have given me knowledge of the outside world, instead of leaving me alone and figuring it all out by myself. I really could have used the help and knowledge, because I have gotten myself in trouble a few times before as well.

Twilight then said to me in a pitiful tone, "You poor thing, no one should grow up without knowledge."

I went on to say, "Anyways, after a while, I then went off on my own and eventually I made a few friends along the way and a few enemies. Some enemies are gone for good and won’t come back to try and kill me, but others will never be forgotten.
They will always haunt me and my dreams at night, as they still do for me every night. I do wonder sometimes when they will be back, but I made a lot of mistakes, but it has been, what... ten years since I’ve seen them? And I reckon that they have forgiven for my mistakes that I have done to make them bring their wrath upon my poor and lost soul.”

I then put my head up and looked at both Twilight and Celestia. Twilight seemed to be in a bit of a shock, while Celestia was sort of impressed by my story and had a little grin go across her sweet face.

She then said to me, “Well then, it seems we did not have to say much to get a lot out of you now. I was thinking we would have to go with other means to get you to talk. Well, I suppose that is a good thing for now. I am also surprised and shocked at what a life you have had in the past Knight.”

I then said, “Well… I suppose it is, but I’m pretty sure somepony has a more surprising life then me.”

Twilight then told me, “Do you really think that Knight? I mean, I have never heard of such a life story. I do not believe that any other pony like you could go through with that. In fact, that sounds a bit insane and unbelievable like you just made it up.”

I then said to that bitch of a Twilight… or bitch Twilight, “Well, I assure you that I am not lying to the both of you. It really did happen, even if it does sound unrealistic at times; everything did happen that way. I’m not sure why that it did have to happen that way, but perhaps it was meant for a reason. Maybe it’s just the way it is and that is that.”

Celestia then said to me, “Well… what do you believe the way that it happen then Knight?”

I then replied back with a pause at first, but then the words that came out of my mouth was, “Well… what I believe is different then what others do. I believe that the universe wanted to screw me over. Not because of what I have done, nor did I pissed it off, but it just likes to watch you fuck up. It just likes to see you in pain and it enjoys it, but only because it’s just the way it is. I believe everything else that others believe is bullshit. Why would the universe screw you over for a reason? Couldn’t the universe find another way around it to make it better for you as much as possible?"

I then paused for dramatic effect and try to let the moment of silence let me sell the fake story that I was telling them.

I then said after the moment's of silence, "It’s also bullshit it was meant for nothing. Sure, sometimes it happens where things in life are completely pointless, but at times, there’s a secret behind it, even if it didn’t mean anything, there’s always something behind that went down. So to be quite honest with you, I’m just fucked in life, and sometimes I can either take some good fortune from someone, or live with what I have to fear every day.”

Both of the princesses were silent in the room for a bit, until Twilight said to me, “Well then, I was not expecting you to curse, but I suppose it is alright, for it emphasizes the meaning of your choice of words.”

I then stared at Twilight for a bit… but only because she was using those fancy words and complaining about my foul language. I mean, does it really matter? Seriously, did it really matter that I made a specific vibration with my vocal cords that then produced certain sounds waves that graced your precious ears?

I mean you could always not think about what it means and think about it as just as a curse word and the true actually meaning behind the word itself and you’ll be fine and would be able to hear thousands of F-bombs all day long. I mean, that is how I curse up a storm and it doesn’t bother me one bit. Then again I wasn't from around here to begin so maybe it wasn't what they were used to. But still, it wasn't that big of a deal.

I mean I turned out just fine… except with all the weed, crack from time to time, unintentional deaths, accidents, doing illegal stuff and a whole lot of other shit that I shouldn't say without a lawyer in my presence.

Anyways, I then responded to her with while giving a little smile, “Well, it does help get it off my chest when I do curse, so in a way it’s kind of helpful to curse. I just need to lift so much frustration from my back, it feels good when I do it.”

Twilight then said, “Yes, and I do see your point in the matter, but the profanity is way too much. The language should really be tuned down, especially since the fact that there are sometimes fillies and colts around. It is important that they do not hear that type of language… unless of course they are growing up in a bad family where they are used to such language, then I suppose it should be alright, as long as it is used in moderation and to only emphasize.”

I then said to her while starting to have a crack in my little smile, “Well, let’s not get into the whole debate with cursing. I believe that can be left for another time.”

Celestia then said to Twilight, “Yes, I do agree with Knight here. We have more important things to concentrate on for right now then simple debates. Although I do agree with Twilight about the use of profanity. It shouldn't be used as much and that we need to set a good example for the fillies and colts of Equestria. Now, Knight, another question that is on both on our minds is that what were you doing in the Everfree Forest, especially this late at night?”

Twilight also put her comment in with, “Yes, do you not realize that the Everfree Forest is dangerous? You could have gotten hurt, or even worse, killed for that matter.”

I then paused for a few seconds, taking in what Celestia said. I said underneath my breath with a low enough tone that they couldn't hear me speak, "Sure whatever yo say you sun shine bitch."

And then I talked about my answer.

I said with just a simple tone and putting on a fake smile, “Well… it’s a long story. To make a long story short, that was my home.”

I then saw Twilight and Celestia’s eyes light up with surprise in them. Celestia then looked a little confused to which she then asked me, “Excuse me, but I believe I did not hear what you said Knight. Did you say that the Everfree Forest was your home?”

I then said with the same tone, “Yeah… you heard right, the forest was my home, for about seven months I think. Kind of lost track of time in there, I don't have a calendar on me all the time.”

Twilight then asked me, but in sort of a yelling tone that wasn't quite yelling, like a medium yell, “Your home!? How could the Everfree Forest be your home!? The Forest is dangerous. I do have a friend that does live in the Everfree Forest, but that is different! She was used to living in the forest because she knew many things about it! How could a pony like yourself can live in such a home like that!?”

I then told her my response in a calm voice and not in a loud bitch voice like the one she did, “ First off, lower your voice. Let me see where I should begin..."

I then raised my head up while rolling my eyes and putting my right hoof to my chin while scratching it thinking about my response while going 'hmmmm'.

I then looked back to them while putting my right hoof down and said to them, " Well for starters I’ve always lived in the forest. As I said, when I was taken in by the mysterious pony, he or she lived in the forest. Therefore, I was always used to the dangers of the forest, as well as the mysterious pony. Second, when I said I made friends over the years, they also taught me how to live with the land. One in particular taught me how to survive in any type of forest, even if it considered to be the most dangerous of them all, I could survive in it. I was taught how to build a fire, quick escapes from animals that try to kill me, to determine what plant is poison and what is not."

Twilight looked interested as her eyes glowed a bit like a half glow in the darkie and said, "Oooohhhh..."

After Twilight's little praise, I continued to say, "I know very much about the forests than any other pony would know about, and I have been since I was a child. However that doesn’t mean I have never been in civilization before; I have been from town to town before, but only as a quick stop. As you can tell if you look upon my ass or flank if you want to call it, it is bare with no mark on it. It’s sad to say that I have no clue what my special talent is, nor do I care to find out. If it comes, it comes, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.”

Of course, by now you all know that this was the best lie that I could come up with on such a short notice. Granted it wasn't all quite believable and I have a feeling someone would give it a point five out of ten, but I think it did the job. I mean, let’s get something straight here, I try my very best to keep a low profile about my origins.

I’m pretty sure that they are not ready for such information that there is a portal that leads to other universes and I am an alien type being to them as well. In fact, I believe chaos may occur, however since these are ponies and not humans, I believe it would be fine to tell them.

Although I'm just guessing when I say that. For al I know they could all go bat shit insane and go berserk on one another by simply findings out about the other universes and potential 'aliens' coming through. But then again I might just be overthinking that... this is the land of magical talking ponies that are bright colorful... they'll be happy enough to greet their own genocide into their home because they want to give peace a chance.

But then again I think I'm overthinking it again. I'm sure they were used to weird creatures. It's just that it would be a hard concept for them grasp about different universes and the like, while trying to explore and gain knowledge about it. Or... maybe nothing happens at all and none of this is special. Who knows.

Of course, with how I really did know how to do all of this with the training and shit, Well I have been trained by TK so I know what I’m doing.

I have done this for many years. Although my expertise is limited as I only trained for so long under TK. He was harsh on me to say the least, but I tried to train under him and he taught me enough to know the bare necessities of survival... way back when. I kind of forgot by that point so it's surprising I even survived back in the Everfree for so long. But hey, I survived didn't I? It was like I was a pro at it. I’m even better then Bear Grills, except I don’t drink my own piss.

Unless of course the only thing to drink is RC cola, then I would drink my own piss. It tastes better.

Anyways, Celestia then said to me, “Well then, I am certainly impressed with you Knight. I never thought I would ever see a pony with such skills of survival. The most I have ever seen in a pony that knew about surviving in a minor forest for a few months, but not a year or possibly more.”

Twilight then said to me, “Yes, I am certainly impressed too, especially that you can survive the Everfree Forest for a Year. Even my friends will be amazed when I tell them about you tomorrow morning as well… unless of course you’re uncomfortable with that sort of thing.”

Twilight gave me an awkward, yet nervous look when she asked me that. She looked like she was even embarrassed me to say that in front of me.

I then said to her while raising my right eyebrow, “Noooooo... I’m totally cool with you doing that. It’s not like it would change anything for me, right?”

Twilight just stared at me with a nervous smile, and then tried to move her eyes away from my spot and look somewhere else in the room instead of answering.

I then said to my self, "Ok then... great conversation we had there..."

I then took my last sip of my tea, which had been cooled down by now to a reasonable temperature. I even almost forgot about my cup of tea. Although with Celestia’s and Twilight’s cups, I believe they forgot about theirs as well, but only because they were all caught up with me and my life story that I lying about and that I was telling them.

Twilight then said, “Well, my friends will love to hear your story whenever they get a chance to meet you. Although I do admit that I do feel somewhat bad for you Knight. You were never with your real parents, which it is a sad thing, but perhaps it was for the better because maybe they would have abused you instead of treating you fairly. I mean, they did leave you on a path all alone with no one to be cared by, so it does make some sort of sense. I also feel bad for you because you barely socialized with anypony else throughout your years of life. Sure, you made a few friends, along with a few enemies as well, from what you have told us, but you never had a normal life where you just had a simple place to live at and friends to hang out with all the time. I do not think you also fell in love with any mare, well, at least from what I can gather from your experience, am I correct?”

I then replied with, “Well, you are correct, I never fell in love with anypony in my life. Although who knows, I'm still open and could meet someone. Although I do admit, I don’t care at all that I didn’t have a normal simple life. I really don’t care at all, I couldn’t care any less by it. I' totally fine without having a normal childhood and living a normal, simple, kicked back life.”

Just like the fake story that I was telling them, that part a lie. Deep down somewhere though, it did kind of bother me. Now I wasn't regretting me finding the portals and what not. I had no regret by that point and still have no regrets.

Yet sometimes I wonder if I didn't find that portal. Things would have been different for me. Yet I can't quite recall what my life eve was back then back on Earth you know? It seems like it was no more than a dream to me back then. Yet I know it happened so there's that for ya. I know it wasn't all in my mind. And I know this wasn't all in my mind and that I was somehow near death and that I was really still in that cave back in Tennessee and that I feel and cracked my head...

I'm not questioning my existence right now, this is real. You're reading it. So... don't go making conspiracy theories about that stuff. And if you do, the glow in the darks would like to have a word with you... and you can't run them over, they are car proof.

Although if I have to be serious here for a moment, I would like to say I did wish I had a kicked back life. That kind of life where all I had to do is relax, be calm, maybe find a ice decent job somewhere and make a decent living and just have a good time with life itself and appreciate the little things that it brings me. By this point I was striving for it. But that's another topic for another day.

Anyways, Celestia then said to me, “Well, I will admit Knight, that you are one of the most extraordinary ponies I ever met in my entire life. In fact, I think you would be at the top of the list I would say. However I do realize that it is quite late for you and I can tell you that you are tired within your own eyes. So there is one more question that we would like to ask you before we end this and you can be on your way. That beam of light that I saw coming from your horn or... your entire body… what was that exactly?”

Celestia was quite confused yet looked curious as to what even happened out there and anticipating my response. I then stared at the floor, eyes wide open, not sure what to say about that. To be honest with you, I did not even know what they were talking about. It was as if I had blacked out and did not even remember the little episode even happening. Although I do remember some of the slightest of things, but I had thought it was a dream of some sort or of an illusion to my very eyes. I mean, what else could it have been? But if it was real then I had no clue how to answer that.

I then sat there on the pillow while looking down and wondering what had happened to me.

Celestia then asked me once more while leaning in a little bit towards me, “Well, what happened to you Knight? What happened that we saw of such amazing magic that was coming from you?”

I then started to feel like blacking out and not answering cause I wasn't sure what to say. I felt like closing my eyes and just go to sleep and when I wake up, they wouldn't be there and I would still be in my little cave and that this was all a bad dream that I was having.

However this wasn't going away and I had to say something. I then pushed myself and gave her sort of and answer that they could at least work with, “I… I’m not sure at all. I kind of thought it was just a dream and you just found me in the cave back there and decided to rescue me. Could you… recap what happened?”

Celestia looked like she was preparing herself for an explanation to me, but then Twilight gave her a gesture that said, ‘Bitch, you better not do what I’m think you’re doing! You put that hoof down and let me take care of this you bitch… Or I’ll slap you across the face and give you a mean bitch slapping! Is that what you want you fucking whore bitch!?’

Ok maybe not exactly like that way, let me give you a white translation of the black guy language. ‘Excuse me good sir/lady, but I believe you have done quite enough this fine evening we are delightfully enjoying. I would like to take over for the moment while you rest and drink some iced tea under this dreadful heat.

Now if you do not mind, I feel like raping a bagel with some cream cheese so it would be easier for the rape hole… if you know what I mean. Then after the quite interesting conversation we are having about jimmies and their fancy big words, I shall retire to my room, rest my poor eyes, and have a nice dinner tonight later on. Then we shall invite a black man that goes by the name of Jamie Foxx and Christopher Waltz, to which Samuel L. Jackson tells me that they are only here to take one of my slaves away from me and not for a boxing black guy.

Which may I remind you that is the moralist thing a black person can do because pure horrifying that a black person would do ever such a white person thing. Then we shall bang a hammer on a black chick’s head, get twelve thousand dollars from them, and then be on our merry, little, separate ways… until the black starts a fight just like any other typical black would do like hitting an Asian because of their weird, goofy little eyes is what scare blacks the most. ’

Ok then, that might have been a bit descriptive for the white man, but you know how Grammar Nazis typically are in their habitats… hardcore, sometimes based, sometimes larpers, sometimes just a plain old wannabe gangsta. They like to pretend they are just thee for the grammar, but we all know what they are really after.

Yeah you know what I'm talking about... Jews... word Jews. You some letters are Jewish like the letter J and the W. But they are secret Jews. They won't admit it to the other letters that they have banned from one hundred and eight different languages over the years, but believe them, they deserve your and everyone else's pity because they are poor and you must feel bad for them. But the Grammar Nazis, they see through the J's and W's lies. They know they are Jews in disguise.

And because of that, they really want them delicious letters. They want to eat them because they are hungry and they look appetizing to them. Only problems they don't exist in their realities and they can't exactly put them in the back of the ovens. So they have to do a whole ritual and a blood sacrifice in order conjure up the spirit of Ike Turner or something and get the letters to be real or something.

Wait, what I'm talking about. You guys aren't ready for the esoteric stuff yet. I'm getting off track, what was I talking about again? Something about Asians or something... let's go with that.

Anyways aside from the Grammar Nazis wanting the Jews, the Asian translation of that gesture that Twilight gave Celestia would also be to Asians, ‘Why is there no math homework!? Give me math now! Why is this not yellow! Why is this not Fluttershy that we speak of!? Why is this not A plus! Screw this bullshit, I go smash and cause an accident with my new fancy American yellow Chevy car…. then I go work at dry cleaning business for the wage of cats so I can one day eat them with some Asian sauce to go along the side!’

If you want a German Translation, it would be ‘Killing the Jews and the Holocaust was a lie.’

If you want a pure and authentic Grammar Nazi translation… well that would be pointless because it’s pretty much the German translation… except that there’s Asians as well instead of the lonely Jews.

That and the Muslims apparently. I can see why they want to piss them off with Muhammad all of a sudden… and start World War Three. Then again… who doesn’t want to start World War Three nowadays? It's all the rage now and hip with the kids. come on down to funky town and we'll bomb the civilians and we'll commit all of the war crimes together.

Anyways I’m just getting sidetracked, the main point is that Twilight made a gesture to tell Celestia that she can handle it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just have a little too much energy starting this journal. It's so exciting sharing this stuff for once. So you've got to give me some slack on my first... what is it... night? Two nights? Come on, give me a break, I'm getting a lot off my chest here. And by the time you're reading this wherever you are, whoever that you may be, you'll have the full thing... so you'll have a lot to look forward to.

Well Twilight said to me, “Well, to recap the events that unfolded before us not too long ago, we heard quite the loud, noisy, ear piercing, thunderous, shrill yelling that we heard coming from the Everfree Forest. I will admit though it was quite rowdy and riotous to me in my opinion. We even heard you speak in a quite aged and elderly mature language of the Royal Cantorlot Voice, which rarely anypony speaks of nowadays. Celestia and I decided to shrug it off as a modest and diminutive coincidence.

'However, what we did not anticipate that you were to shoot out a beam of luminosity of pure radiance and illumination. To be quite honest with you Knight, Celestia and I were flabbergasted and staggered by this occurrence or incident that most would put into words.

'We have never seen such marvelous capability before in our lives before. Celestia and I made a pact that we would examine the origins of such a likelihood of an occurrence to ever have happened. We took a little trudge through the Everfree Forest to get to the source that turned out to be you of the power that we were seeing before our very eyes.

'However, when we say it was you Knight, we did not know what to reflect on or judge anything really. We were ruminate through our very minds, wearisomely to figure out what to do in such a unforeseen or bewildering as kids say these days, of an experience like this for example to ever occur in a lifetime.

'Alas, we were about to make a decision or reasonably that is you might say that we were considering to either presume that you were an antagonistic, aggressive, unreceptive, unsympathetic, and unwelcoming rival of Equestria or that of to Celestia herself.

'We also came to a termination to our pondering in our thoughts of what to do with you, that we were to impair and wound you, but not too much but enough to dwindle you in your power and diminish your strength.

'So that you would have enough vigor to confer and deliberate or consulting you may put it and answer our many queries for we had for you at the time. We were also bearing in mind to take you to an infirmary and have the doctor’s take a gaze at you and see how you were able to pull such mind-boggling enchanted magic charm in the dead of night under Luna’s beautiful midnight moon.

'Which may I add that is clear and vivid in the night sky, as her dear sister retreats in her chambers to regain energy that she has lost over her duties as princess of Equestria. However, we then had a uncanny and peculiar sensation she had not felt in many years, in fact not since my friends and I used the Elements of Harmony on Nightmare Moon. Celestia decided to walk up to you and gently put her hoof on your shoulder to appease you, which may I add shocked me that worked.

'What happened next is that you then proceeded to plummet to the ground, but Celestia did grasp you before you fell any further to the ground. What I recall next is that you decided not to make a single resonance while we were walking back here, to which we are here where we started our little chat.”

My god… those descriptive and brilliant words that she used. That was so amazing…. I wanted to fucking punch her and slap her across the fucking face that son of a bitch! At the time, after she talked, or while she was talking and all, my mouth dropped to the fall or slack-jawed that is, in amazement, of pure shock what she was saying.

What was going through my mind at the time was, ‘My god… the way that she had said every one of those words was almost flawless. Yet for some reason I really want to punch her and beat her to a bloody pulp because she said all of that just now. Why do I want to punch her so much? It's a weird feeling that I'm getting right now. Weird. Just plain ol' weird to me. I mean, I shouldn't be angry, but now I just feel pissed. Hmmpf... I think it's just nothing. Nothing to worry about at all. Yeah I don't think I should be worried about the rage that is slowly building up inside of me, I should just bottle all of to up ad keep it down. That's healthy for me, right?

'I mean a minute ok I was making some references and that was fun, even if I was making them directly and was obvious, it was still fucking fun as shit because it is quite boring right now, dull, and grey as we speak! Dam it… Why do I feel so angry right now? You know what, it's fine... just... let me think about some other stuff. Like let me thing of a topic to think about... hmmm... Whatever happened to those simpler days? You know what… that doesn’t need an explanation. It’s those Grammar Nazis fault… those damn Grammar Nazis who complain about stuff and the Jewish letters that is behind all of this somehow… except for the Nostalgia Critic… he’s cool because at least he makes fun of things. That and he jokes around and it is quite fun… even if it is someone’s work, they would get a light out of it. But then again I haven't seen him like forever. I wonder what happened to him?

Now that I wonder… whatever happened to special K? Does that still exist back on Earth? I have not had Special K in a long ass time now that I recall it. In matter of fact, whatever happened to K Ballard or however you spell that long time forgotten fucker’s name? I haven’t seen Ballard in a long time, I hope he’s dead right now. This is a weird moment in my head right now; I do hope this does not happen again later in the future. I'm sure it won't or else I have some problems. Whatever, back to whatever these two bitches are talking to me about and shit like that.’

When Twilight finished, I tried to make a normal look that wasn't awkward, and not an angry look because I was just pissed off and was about to explode due to her using such fancy words of pure wisdom and fanciness.

Well while I was doing that, Celestia was also a bit surprised as well; it also looked like she was having one of those awkward moments with Twilight at the moment. Anyways, Twilight was waiting for a response from me, since it was a recap for I have forgotten and thought I had a blackout during that magical moment in my life of that beam of light.

I then had said to her bitch face that I wanted to punch so much, “Well then… I seem to be glad that I now know what happened, with your… ‘words’… and I gladly appreciate the fact that you explained it very well… to… me… could we talk about something else for right now?”

Celestia then said to the both of us, “Yes, I do agree with Knight here. We only have so little time and the night will start to age at some point and will be vanquished by the sun in a few hours or so. We must start to end this conversation and get to the last question. Besides, I do need some rest for I had a long day of hard work. Knight, our final question is that, or more likely our final question that would lead to small questions, is that was that a power you posses or of the magic from you used?”

They then both stared at me, waiting for my answer. I honestly had no clue, but I went and took a wicked guess that it was from my horn… and surprisingly I was right because I had a weird feeling coming from my horn. I then said to Celestia and Twilight, “Well… as you could tell, I was having a blackout so I wouldn’t know. However if I had to guess, I would say my horn for I felt like it is most tired and weakened at the point.”

Celestia then took a sip of her tea that had just been cooled down and said to me with sweet, glaring eyes at me, “Well, I do see your point, and I would agree with you as well. It seems that if it did come from your horn. I even saw it come from your horn as well as I was walking up to you. Although the magic did envelop your entire body, so it did look weird to me, but I have without a doubt that it came from your horn and your magic as well. I asked you because I need to make sure what I saw was true and not a trick of my old age, even though it does not matter for I am immortal.”

I then had a bit of a curious and confused look on my face, for I did not understand what they meant by that. For fuck’s shake, I know it’s obvious, but cut me some slack, it has been years since I saw any of the show.

I then asked both of them while tilting my head a little bit to the side, “What do you mean you had to make sure? I mean it’s just magic, nothing special really to get over about. I mean, it’s just my magic, that’s all. I mean you guys have the most impressive magic there is, for you are Alicorns and princesses of Equestira.”

Then Celesita cut in and pointed out, “Yes, we are Alicorn which we do hold the power for the most powerful magic in the world. However, the titles of princesses are half-true as well. A leader may hold a great power of amazement and skills, but a leader can also hold false truth as well.”

Twilight then put her two cents in… even though the saying is really fucking old and why the fuck am I even saying it now?

Well, she then said with, “Knight, if that was simply your horn, then that amazes me! That is the most powerful magic we have ever seen Knight; don’t you understand!? Alicorns are able to only do half as powerful as that, but only when combined! With you, it only took you and you alone to make that even happen! There is something odd and very special about you Knight… something neither we never seen before, nor has anypony has ever seen before in their lives.”

Celestia then cut in again with, “Yes, I do agree with Twilight, Knight. You hold even more magic then her, mine’s, or my sisters all combined at once. You hold very great potential, and we believe that there is something special about you…although I will admit; this is not the first time I ever saw this magic happen. I do recall ages ago that I saw this, but I believe my memory is starting to wear down on me and I am afraid that I am forgetting a few things from my childhood. However, I did see this somewhere, but I cannot put my hoof on it, but I am familiar with this magic. However, until the time when I do remember where I have seen this before, I would not like to see magic like this go to waste.”

Celestia then got up while she was talking with her tall, slender like legs, walked over towards the window or one of Twilight’s windows that is and dramatically looked outside into the night sky for dramatic effect, even if it was unintentional.

After she was done talking, I was still confused at this point and said, “Wait… what are you talking about Celestia? I am afraid I’m not getting your signal here. Is this a sex thing or a cult thing? Because if it’s either of those, I would like to have no part in any of it… unless it’s to kill the zebras, those bastards owe me money. Other I do not swing that and last time I was in a cult, it didn't so well. They all ended up drinking the kool-aid.”

Celestia then turned her head around with a bit of a smirk on her face as if she had great news. She gave me a slight side glance. However, apparently she didn’t hear what I said about the genocide of the zebras… or the cult thing, and sadly not the sex thing, but for some odd reason I felt like I could go with the sex thing for a bit.

Then again, I did snap myself out of it before the thought continued to grow any lager in my brain. I've got to sty a virgin somehow to earn my virgin points.

Well Celestia then said to me, “You have nothing to fear Knight, for I have great news for you, even though it just came up. You have nothing to fear of bad news from me, nor Twilight Sparkle. How should I explain this to you? You see, years ago, I made Twilight Sparkle a personal student of mine, during one of the days that was almost over. I recall that day that the sun was setting, and Luna was still on the moon at the time. But sadly I was on my way back to the castle.

However, Twilight then started to have some sort of magic to which she made spells that I did not know was possible for a young filly like her. I went to see who was responsible, and I was impressed with her, so I made her my personal student She had did a very well job compared to my other students in the past.

She eventually did so well that she proven herself that she was ready to become a Princess. However, that was a year ago, and now a year later, I see a unicorn that is not meant to hold much power, but holds even greater power then all of the Alicorns in the world combined and can hold so much potential and even making a difference in this world if that said unicorn puts some effort and uses it for good. In other words Knight, I would like to make you a personal student of mine so I could possibly train you and you could possibly even teach me about your magic as well. I would like to give you a little nudge in the right direction of your magic, and perhaps even learn to tame it and shape it in ways that neither you or I could ever imagine.”

I then said to her, “Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. You’re going to try and train me with my magic that you clearly have no control over and is much powerful than yours. How does that make any sense?”

Celestia then continued to have a smirk on her lips to which she then said to me, “Well, you do have a point. However, that doesn’t mean we cannot guess and try, or perhaps even unlock certain spells that you did not think you could do before. Perhaps it is the same thing as my magic, but all it is that it has a much more powerful affect.

For example, if I would to order a normal unicorn to levitate an object, he would do so by one object. However, if you were to do such a thing, you would hold multiple objects at once without weakening at all.

However, that is only in theory. All we can do is to try our best and see. Besides, I can also learn from you if you could allow it. Besides, even if we do fail on your magic, there is still plenty to learn as my personal student and at the school as well.”

I then went ahead and made a comment, “Really… that‘s just too hard to believe. I mean, that school pretty much only has unicorns in it and it would seem to me that it has something to do with magical sunshine and farts kind of bullshit. I mean, the only other thing is that you’re a racist.

Are you a racist, because if you are I will totally hang out with you and then we can make jokes all day about the blacks and the Asians and what it would be like if they combined to make an Asian Black Jew. No wait… there’s no Jew in that equation… no wonder Hitler faked the Holocaust.”

Celestia then shut me up and she said to me… still in a happy tone Grammar Nazis… still in a happy tone… no need to get hostile with me you fucking retards.

Well, she said, “Oh, there is much more that goes on within the school grounds then what you have heard. Besides, I would rather have a student have their time fully appreciated and not wasted at a school if they would to only study magic itself. At the school, besides magic of course, you will also be learning the history of Equestria, mathematics, science, language, how to read and write Equestrian, for it is almost a dying language of the ages, and much more. There are also social events and gatherings, along with clubs of your interest, and if you are into such a thing, there are sports teams you can join as well. You can even take extra classes if you wish. There is plenty of extra classes to choose from including art, music, sports, and even more advanced classes to improve your skills if you wish to go beyond what you are already capable of.”

Keep in mind she said that last part with a smile, which makes me suspicious, even though she said everything else with a smile. However that last part just weirded me out. It's not like it was giving me an premonitions or anything, it just seemed a bit off to me and my mind couldn't help but run off and imagine some dark stuff with those implications. Like, what kind of advanced classes are we talking about? Are we talking about murder here? Are we talking about fucking? Is that what she was getting at? Huh?

Although I'm sure she wasn't referring to breeding, one could only think in their head what the advanced classes is. I mean I know I was over thinking it, but still... what is the beyond that she spoke of? Maybe she's thinking about luring ponies in with reasonable interests on student loans and low tuitions. and then when you least expect it, BAM, as you walk into class, she cracks your skull in and uses your lifeless body as life size voodoo dolls to conjure up the sprit of Mike Burnner... or summoning Dan Wee. And you don't want to mess around and summon Dan Wee. I mean don't get me wrong, Dan Wee is a good guy, he's the best of us. The one we don't deserve, but the one that we need. But don't go around summoning Dan wee like that, Dan Wee isn't going to be too happy if you fuck with him like that... he'll kick your ass. Just ask all the people he killed... and you can't cause they fucking dead...

Anyways, I then stood there, trying my best to collect all what Celestia had said to me and think about the fuck I was going to do at this point. I wasn't sure what to do since I wasn't exactly used to this kind of situation, especially since I was all by myself. For all I knew, this was all a trick and these were the aliens from the Dragon Ball Z Season 2 filler episodes. Maybe that was this universe. You never know... you can never be too careful.

Then Celestia continued her talk with me for whom she then said to me, “That is what you will, or would expect I should say, at my school. Of course you being my personal student and all, you will have other things to do that not the average student would get to do. For one thing, there is some benefits to it, but just like every benefit, there are some downsides to it"

I then just stared blankly at her as I then nodded my head to her, following along with what she had to say, even though it didn't look like I was paying attention. But a little part of my brain was paying attention.

Celestia continued to say to me, "For one thing, you will have private magic lessons with me and depending on how busy my day is, it could end up taking place inside the walls of Cantorlot castle. Of course, you will have full access to the castle grounds whenever you would like, although it is mostly because it is just in case if you wanted to see me about something. Then of course, you will also have your own personal room in the towers. However, there is only one that used to belong to Twilight. But if you were to choose to be my personal student, I will give her room to you and you can make it your own."

I then started to show a little bit of interest on my face as my eyes looked intrigued. But it was me just acting and really deep inside I had no idea what I was even doing as I said to her, "Go on..."

So Celestia continued to talk to me, "You will also have full access to the school grounds. Well, certain areas of course, along with breaking the school’s curfew time. However, it does not mean you will have the full night to spend on whatever you may want to do. However, you will get some extra hours to go out and about the school grounds. I am even willingly to let any friends that you make while at the school to join you and you could possibly have some private fun as well."

I then asked Celestia with a bit of curiosity on my face, "So what are the downsides then? Is there even any cause it sounds god to me."

Celestia answered me with, "Well the downsides do exist of course, but not too many to worry about. For one thing, you won’t have too much time to have some free time to yourself. IT's because my sessions are longer than the usual average class that you would have at the school. However, the extra hours do make up for it I suppose. Another downside, which really is depending on your interests, that you will have to come with me on certain events that take place at the castle. The other downsides are rather small and not noticeable, and will only reveal themselves if you were to choose to be my personal student.”

She then stopped talking to which I then sat there and thought about what she said.

I then had a look on my face that I can't find the words to explain on how it looked on my face to you. And I swear to you grammar Nazis and Jews maybe, I don't know; that I will blow your brains out in front of your kids if you make a complaint about it. I'm half serious and half not. I'm not sure where you live or who you are... but I'll find you... in Minecraft, and I will get on to your Christen Mincecraft server and blow your children's avatars away. I mean it, I'm not afraid to do it. No Christian Minecraft server is safe from the likes of me damn it.

Anyways, I had asked Celestia a quick question while moving my right hoof in front of her a bit, “Well, I heard what you had to say about the school and me being your student, but what if I choose not to join you and the dark side of the force?”

Celesita continued to have a smile on her face, but one that appeared to have been slowly fading as if she didn’t like the thought about me leaving. It was as if she wanted me to stay, as if she would be depressed and hang herself if I left.

If I were to leave, she would cry and become a ruthless ruler because of the effect of my leaving, which she would be sad and cry. Like the idea of me not being there would eat up inside of her and not let the regret go. It was tat kind of a fading smile that she had going on, like a possessive girlfriend that is going to rape you in your sleep. I don’t know why that would happen, but it looked like that on her smile… which sound ridiculous but apparently it sounds good to the Jews so whatever floats their boats I guess.

I will never understand them and their ways of being a Jewish grammar Nazi. Such a thing doesn't even exist.

Well Celestia then said to me in an awkward tone of voice, “Oh Knight, do not fear, for I will not… force you to… go.”

I could tell that she was trying to force a smile as she was saying that as she was not trying to think of a single thought about me saying no to her. But her smile was twitching a little bit, almost as if it wanted to break and fall down to a frown to show her discomfort towards me saying possibly no. She really wanted me to say yes. and who knows, maybe she would get a little bit of kick back from the press if I did agree.

Celestia continued to say, “As I mentioned before, I said if you were to be my personal student, you would have a personal choice in the matter. If you were to say no, you have my word that you will be in no trouble at all and you will be free to go.
However, I would admit, it would be ashamed if you said no, because I would like to understand you magic and why is it so powerful than any of the other Alicorns put together."

Twilight then interjected into the conversation with a small smile on her face as she said to me, "Not only to mention, but many ponies would do almost anything to be her personal student like how I was."

It was a great piece of conversation for Twilight. Just uhhh... great piece of detail to add to the topic... what a fucking bitch I say. My only response to Twilight was to slightly roll my eyes at her and just continued looking at Celestia.

Celestia then continued where she left off and said while putting her right hoof to her chest for a bit for some reason, "However, I am willingly to pay you for a home right here in Ponyville and perhaps even get you a job that you would be most comfortable at as well. We could possibly even discover what your cutie mark is as well while we are at it. You can even be friends with Twilight if you wish to do such a thing. However, this is if you chose to not go with me and become my personal student."

I then gave her a weird look with a bit of a side glance and said, "Ok then, very interesting off right there then."

Celestia then said to me with a little bit of a nervous smile on her face, "Now then, what is your choice? Or do you need some time to think it through?”

I then sat there, wondering what my next move should be. Considering the fact that TF is still alive and that he was about to kill me just immediately, it would not have been safe to stay in Ponyville.

Sure, Twilight is there and she is good at magic, but my magic seemed to scare off TF and was way beyond Twilight's magic. That only led me to believe that Twilight wouldn't be able to hold her own against him even if her life depended on it. Besides, I knew he was going to come back one day, but of all the years that I had known him, each time he was beaten, he only returned even stronger; eventually to a point where he could be like a god of some sort.

Therefore, the obvious thing to do is to get all the help I can get. I wasn't exactly sure how this was all going to go down, or even if TF would try to out smart me in some other way, but it was at the very least a start and something to work with at least. First thing first was to find a way on how to control my newly found magic. And since Celestia didn’t have a clue either, it seemed that I was fucked. However she did say that she was willingly enough to try and figure out why I had such powerful magic and how I could possibly control it.

It may seem like a bad choice to make, but it was my only safe bet to do until TF came back for revenge. If he had came back for revenge at all. For all I knew he could have accidently fell down a mud slide and died in a ditch after he left. Who knew by that point. But it was better to be safe than sorry. Well, at least that's what they say in Germany in the forties anyways. So I looked up at Celestia, and she had a bit of worried look on her face, as if she was worried I would not become her personal student.

Of course I felt bad and it also gave a reason to join her, although something told me right then and there that I would go on to later regret my decision. But hey, what was there to lose... my sanity? That was already half dead. But granted I wouldn’t have been able to learn my magic I suppose and make new alleys along the way because of her, so in a war, she is an awesome bitch and a sad bitch. I don’t get it either pal, so don’t ask. I just make this all up on the go.

Anyways, I then said in my response to Celestia, “Well, after much thought and consideration, I suppose I would want to be your personal student. However I only want to because I’ve got to be honest with you; this is the longest conversation I had with anypony that either wasn’t trying to kill me or was just trying to help me get out of a sticky situation.”

I then chuckled a bit at that and pretended that I gave a fuck. And god, I wanted to punch myself in the face even harder than Twilight because saying those words about my situation was god awful and I should be killed for such a worthless and lame comment.

It’s like a bad pun, but somehow the ponies enjoys bad puns, so they should go fuck themselves with an iron fist of bullshit with razor blades on top. In fact, that doesn’t sound so bad as a trolling prank. In fact that sounds like kind of a good idea to me.

Although I’m not sure how that would work out. I mean it is a dark idea to do, but then again I am like that. You can obviously tell that by the jokes that I give you all… that are very dark, but yet… funny as hell. You will read my jokes. You will laugh at them. And you will go ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... yes... yes you will. I know what you're thinking. I can tell you what you're going to do before you even think about doing it. Like in a few seconds, you're going to blink. ....... See you just blinked. See, I told you I knew what you were thinking before you even did it to begin with. So that means you will laugh at my jokes you fucker...

Anyways, after I had said that sticky bullshit; Twilight looked at me funny… like a nineteen twenties person would that is from New York. It is in like a noir type style based thing where that person would make that weird noise after every sentence. You know, kind of like a Canadian, but if a Canadian wasn't that insufferable to be right next to. You know what I'm talking about.

Like for example, how every Canadian says ‘eh’ as if it was like a question at the end of every sentence they say. But instead of that it's with 'mnehhhhhhhhhhh' sound.

Actually I’m not sure, but now that I think of it, Twilight did give me a funny look; but then had a bit of a smile on her face afterwards. Huh... weird...

Well I continued to say, “I mean, I did enjoy it, since it was quite peaceful I should say for once in my life. Second, I would like to know as well what my magic is and how to use it correctly. I would like to know more about if I could, because I’ve always wondered how it works and what power it may hold. Finally, being your personal student wouldn’t be bad. I mean for one thing, I will have a roof over my head, I assume that is. I do know for a fact that I shouldn’t assume everything and take everything into consideration, and shouldn’t assume something is going to happen. Although, then again you did say that you were going to give me Twilight’s old room, so it doesn’t really matter, which makes this entirely pointless. Anyways, as I was saying, it would be nice for a change that I would actually have a place to stay instead of living in the woods.”

After I said what I had to say, Celestia no longer looked worried and was saddened that I would refuse her offer. In fact, I could see in her eyes she was happy with the decision I had made.

She then on went to say, “Well, I look forward to mentoring you in the future. However, for right now, or at least until tomorrow that is, you will stay in Ponyville in the mean time. I can ensure you that tomorrow that your room will be ready, along with you class schedule at the school. I would do it now, for I do feel eager to have you as a student, but I must go back and rest my eyes for it is Luna’s time. I do have to raise the sun in a few hours as well, so I should head back to Cantorlot to get some shut eye. I will have everything ready for you and your coming by noon tomorrow. In the mean time, you do need a place to stay for the night.”

Twilight then put her two cents into the conversation and cut Celestia off, that bitch, and she said, “Well, I would not mind if Knight stayed here for the night. I do have a spare bed he can use. I can even show him around town a bit before he leaves, if he wants to that is.”

Celestia then looked at me for my answer, along with Twilight as well as she had a bit of a smile on her face as well. I then said, “Sure that sounds fine with me. I mean, it sure beats sleeping in the cave in the Everfree Forest.”

Celestia and Twilight then had a confident smile upon their faces. Celestia then made a statement, “Well, I would agree with you Knight. I mean, I could see that you were living in a cave that was occupied with a Timber Wolf.”

Twilight cut in into the topic with, “That must be tough when you were sleeping with a Timber Wolf. May I ask how you tried to not make it aggressive and harm you?”

I then had a weird look on my face, and made a weird look in my eyes as well. It’s that look as if you had a big secret that you didn’t want anyone else to hide, but then an awkward moment comes in which someone says something relevant and it turns to be true to your situation.

Well, Twilight saw this look on my face and she asked, “Are you okay Knight? Is everything all right with you? Is there something you are not telling us?”

Well, since she had me figured out, and since I could not leave it out, I decided to come out with it. I said to her, “Well…there is something you should know about the Timber Wolf that was with me in the cave.”

Then a thumping noise came from the door to Twilight’s house. It was a knocking noise, but at the same time, it was more of a thump. We all looked towards the door when the sound was made and we all had a curious face…except for me for I was pretending to do so.

I knew exactly what was at the door, which was Wolf, which meant he tracked Celestia and Twilight down as they took me away from the Forest. Although I’m not sure what took wolf so long to finally do it.

Maybe he was a lazy ass Timber Wolf, that or he had a tough time trying to navigate through the small town. Perhaps he was a pussy and was afraid to go into the room with Alicorns. Then again, I don’t know how the Royal Guards didn’t see a Timber Wolf.

Maybe Wolf was stealthy and hid or something. That or Wolf killed all of them, in which I would say good job to him since he finally became a man or something like that goes with a male Timer Wolf. I mean, everyone knows that you become a man or woman if you kill someone and hide the body. Well, there were no dead Royal Guards, but maybe he did kill them, but they came back to like or are holograms.

What a life mystery. Well, whatever happened and how it happened, a second thump came again. However, this time it was an even louder thump, and it came with twice the force against the wooden door.

After the second thump, Celestia and Twilight started to look worried as if something was going wrong and wasn’t sure what it was at all. Then there were three loud thumps this time, and it the force that was exerted onto the door was furiously hard. It was as if the door was about to come off its hinges and fall to the ground.

In addition, it seems that Wolf is maybe possessed by a demon, because he did the last thumps in a set of three. Now if I recall from The Conjuring, whenever there is in a set of threes, it is either half evil, or mocking that trinity, or some shit like that to the church of Christ or something.

I don’t know, I never really read the bible a lot back on Earth, and my father and mother were hardcore christens. I mean, they constantly listened to christen rock and loved the shit out of the bible and prayed to god and Jesus every day. I mean, they were very religious people, except for me of course because I was trying to figure things out, like why is there many religions and which one is right.

I mean, if you think about it…never mind that, let us not get off track here. Well, as I was saying, it would be mocking the christen religion, or in other words, ‘The Father, The Son, and The Holy spirit.’

That or Wolf was really pissed off and had enough energy for three thumps. That or possessed by a demon!

Well, Celestia had a bit of an annoyed face on and went to check out what was making that noise at the door. She got up from her pillow and walked towards the door, which she then used her magic to open it up.

Also, may I add that she would fit in America, because she used magic to open a door. How lazy can you get. I know she’s a pony, which limits her uses with her hooves, but other ponies can use their hooves, so why not her?

She would be just a fat and lazy American if she were to live in America…just like everyone in America. Well, Celestia opened the door, gently I might add, and a brown blur passed through her legs, which that brown blur was also very lucky to look under Celestia…if you know what I mean of course.

Well, that brown blur, obviously, no shock here, was Wolf. After Wolf passed under Celestia’s legs, he came and went next to me and stood his position in a attack ready position and was ready to fight the Alicorns off, even though his ass would’ve been kicked.
Then again…he might have killed the guards and be possessed by a demon, but still his ass would’ve been kicked. Also, I tapped into Wolf’s memory while he was sleeping one night, and I saw his view when he passed under Celestia’s legs, and my god I wish I didn’t see what my eyes saw.

Then again, that is what every mare’s pussy looks like, a normal pussy but with hair around it. I’m not sure why I was horrified in the first place now. I think I’m making that up now because I recall Wolf didn’t even see what was under Celestia. Now I remember, Wolf looked at a transvestite magazine once.

Which he was horrified by what he saw, as I did too as well. Anyways, when Celestia and Twilight saw Wolf was about to attack them, they had their horns ready and started to fire up…while the Royal Guards did absolutely fucking nothing.

The word ‘fuck’ I used could not even emphasize how somewhat stupid of them it was, but there you go.

However, before Celestia and Twilight got the chance to kill Wolf, I put my hoof on him and used my other hoof, forgot which one though and put it up, which is sort of like a sign that says, ‘Hey…hold up bitches. This is my friend here, so don’t kill him you stupid fucks. What are you, a fucking racist? Well, we New Yorkers are going to show you that you shouldn’t be a racist to a New Yorker. I mean we have the better pizza instead of that awful Chicago deep-dish piece of shit they call pizza. We got the Broadway plays; we have our fancy little accidents. We even have Jon Stewart and his Daily Show, so show some little respect.’

Yeah…you can tell I had many problems with New Yorkers in my past, and it was surly a bloody past I should say. I mean, I recall so much blood and guts; it was the goriest thing you would ever see in your entire life, I guarantee that to you for a fact. Besides, it doesn’t matter what happened to me in the past and my relationship with New Yorkers, the important thing is that the New Yorkers are a bunch of douchebags who are trying to act like New Jersey people and fat Italians.

That’s Right New York, I said it that no one else had the balls to say, so come and get me. No wait…that’s right, I’m in Equestria…and I sort of…burned down the Empire State building and 9/11 memorial as well…and killed all the animals in Central park. That and kind of did ruin your economy and had your mayor smoke crack just like that guy in Taranto I made him do.

That and I did blow up your subway system and accidently might have put John Stewart in a comma, now the Jews are after me because of that. Then again I don’t mind beating the shit out of Adam Sandler, I mean he had it coming when he stopped being funny. That and the Muslims are on my side.

No wait…I pissed them off too because I killed a dog in a Muhammad costume…and killed the real Muhammad, long story, listen this isn’t the point. The point is I pissed a lot of people back on earth and I tend to have a problem with speaking their language, like New Yorker language.

It is like you need a translation book on what they’re saying. Anyways, I put my hoof up to halted Celestia and Twilight from blowing Wolf’s head off. After I did so, Celestia and Twilight saw my position and what it represented to them.

After they understood, they calmly lowered their power from their horns, which the light and glowing shit started to slowly fade.
When they did so, I then said, “It’s ok Celestia and Twilight. He’s not any kind of threat to us.”

Twilight then had widened eyes as to what I just said, while Celestia seemed to have a bit of curiosity in her eyes. Twilight then sort of yelled at me, not really though but it’s like a soft yell, or something you get the picture.

She said, “Knight, are you crazy!? That is a Timber Wolf! He is a danger to all of us and he can harm us! He comes from the Everfree Forest! We have to do something before it attacks us!”

Then Celestia put a hoof on her once shitty student on her back, and she easily gently calmed her down, to which she then said, “Now Twilight, you may be correct, but I believe Knight is right here. This Timber Wolf here is not attacking us; in fact, he seems to be responding to what Knight tells it to do. However, I never seen this in a Timber Wolf before. Would you care to enlighten us Knight as to why he is responding to you and your actions as you tell it what to do?”

I then stared at them for a few seconds, and looked at Wolf. I saw it in his eyes that he just wanted to go back to the cave and make sure I didn’t get hurt in any way.

However, I then looked at Celestia and Twilight to which I said to them, “Well…if you must know, he is my friend.”

I saw Celestia in her eyes as she was intrigued as to what I had just said, while Twilight continued to sort of have a shocked expression on her face as well.

“Well, it’s sort of hard to explain. About a year ago, when I came to the edge of Ponyville, I decided to stay and live in the Everfree Forest for a while, or at least until I could figure what my next moves were. Well…the same night as when you were promoted to an Alicorn, and yes Twilight, I have seen you before, but only because I wanted to know my boundaries and I just happened to stumble upon you becoming an Alicorn.

Well, after I saw you basked in your glory of being transformed into a princess, I found a cave not too far from the edge. I thought it was abandoned, that and I didn’t hear a single noise of any kind to be honest with you. Therefore, I assumed that the cave was empty and it was in need of to be occupied. Well, I sort of made a torch and walked into the cave, sort of trying to get used to my new temporary new home for a while until I could get back on my feet.”

Then Twilight stopped me and asked me a question of, “What do you mean get back on your feet? Did something go wrong before you came here Knight?”

I then remembered what happened as Twilight asked me what happened before. In truth, it did turn out to be bad, and I never really wanted to talk about it.

I mean, I rarely talk about what happened that night; I rarely talk about The Fall.

Anyways, I then said to her for her question, “It’s a long story for another time. As I was saying, I lit a torch on a stick I found, which I then slowly walked into the cave, while levitating the stick. Next thing you know, I saw a pair of glowing green eyes in the darkness. Then came after were a few more pairs. Soon after I figured out the cave was occupied and it turned out to be a family of Timber Wolfs. I also believe that they seemed to have been Lone Timber Wolves, as in they split off from a pack and tried to start a new.”

Celestia and Twilight looked odd at me when I made that statement. I believe none of the ponies never made any scientific research on any of the animals of the Evrefree Forest.

“Well, they then started to attack me of course, and they attacked in a group. Smart I should say, but not smart enough. You see, the animals of the Everfree Forest can be smart and dangerous at times. Any civilized pony would know that it would be suicide to step into that forest.

However, if you were born within the forest, you become the animal, and you know their weaknesses. If you were born in the Evrefree, you would become it. In other words, the animals are smart, but sadly, what they lack are a set of skills, a set of skills that only I have to use at my will.

I attacked the Timber Wolves, and to be honest it was quite easy. It was like nothing to me. However I do know for a fact that the Timber Wolves regroup after they have torn apart and to reform back into their original form. Well, that is why you start a fire and you burn them alive.

I recall when they assembled back together, it took them no more than five seconds to figure out they were on fire. They ran around, begging it to stop, but they ran and slowly burned away into ashes. I then decided to properly bury them into the Earth; for I do believe, even an enemy deserves a proper burial.

Well, after I took care of them, I went into the cave, thinking that was the last of them…for now of course, but I was mistaken. This Timber Wolf here was the only one in the cave that didn’t attack me.

When I saw him, I was ready for a fight, but he didn’t move at all. In fact, he just laid there; by the way, when I found him, he seemed to be lying down as if he was hurt. Well, I saw him, and he looked a bit depressed in my opinion. As I came closer with the torch, he backed up and was sort of whimpering and afraid of death that looked like that was going to come to him any second.

Well, I felt bad for him and I decided to take him in as a friend. Well, I started to treat him right and we became friends actually. In fact, I believe with the Timber Wolves he was living with was abusing him and he seemed to be the lowest ranking in the pack. After a few weeks, we started to bond a friendship and we started to look out for each other.

That’s possibly why he came to the door and looked ready to attack you guys. It’s possibly because he just wanted me to be safe and was worried that you two were hurting me.”

After I said my explanation, Wolf looked up to me and he licked my face as well, even though I didn’t know wood like creatures had tongues…I think. Well, after that, Twilight had a shocked expression, but out of amazement that I could tame a Timber Wolf, while any other pony couldn’t. With Celestia, she had the same expression, but a big smile though.

She said after a few seconds of pure silence, “Well then, it seems to me that I will be even more eager to have you as my personal student. Not only you have incredible magic that is even stronger then m and all of the princesses’ combined, but you seem to communicate good with animals. In matter of fact, you tamed a Timber Wolf to be your friend.”

I then said to Celestia, while looking down at Wolf, along with a sad face on, “Well, yeah, but I don’t know if I will ever see him again.”

Then Twilight asked, “Who you will not see again Knight?”

I then responded, “Wolf, that is what I named his Timber Wolf here. I mean, I know it’s not that creative, but I had to name him something it does sound cool. Anyways, I’m pretty sure Celestia’s school doesn’t allow animals on campus.”

However, Celestia then shocked me with, “Well, not really Knight. Animals are allowed on campus, but rarely does it ever happen, and you do need to get permission first. However if it to say it is a short visit like a friend that goes to the school, animals are allowed. However, it is mostly preferred pets to be on campus, not wild animals. However, in your case when you tamed Wolf here, he is allowed on school grounds. In fact, I would not want to destroy your relationship between him, nor do I want to have your assistant taken away from you.”

I then stared at Celestia and squinted at her and thought, ‘Is that a threat or something? That sounds like a threat to me somehow.

No wait…it isn’t a threat. However, is she really saying that he is my assistant now? Are we really going to have like a Twilight Sparkle thing here? Well, let’s see where this goes and I’ll be the judge of it.’

I then said to Celestia, “Well, thanks Celestia, I appreciate it.”

Celestia then said to me as she was turning around to go out the door, “There is no need to thank me Knight. It is what I do, you are a loyal subject of mine, correct? I mean, even though you have not much interaction with civilization though.”

I then said with a standard tone, “Yeah…right…loyal subject…whatever you say.”

While I was saying that, I was slowly putting down a lead pipe that I had hidden in a bag of mine the entire time. My plans were to beat her to a bloody pulp and kidnap Twilight for ransom so I could have a little money and be king of Equestria.

Let us just say I was really high that night before TF attacked me. I mean I had a lot of smoking weed that was natural, and natural weed isn’t bad, but it has a greater effect on you, and clearly I was high that night.

I would have been drunk as well but of course there was no one to offer me free beers, so weed it was that night.

Well, Celestia then opened the door and went onto the carriage to go back to Cantorlot. She even singled the guards that she was ready to go before getting onto the thing, which is what I should’ve mention before, but hey at least you’re not retards and won’t complain…right?

Oh wait…that’s right…I forgot,…you’re Americans that are being led by Obama, or whoever is the president that I’m pretty sure is doing a horrible job at the time you’re reading this. I mean, I’m pretty sure the education is still shitty I assume back in America.
Well sucks for you because in Equestria, we’re fucking smarter than you, because we have some very smart ponies and shit. Well, she soon left and I was alone with Twilight, while Wolf was beside me.

However, I had a weird feeling as if Twilight was just staring at me. I even turned and looked once Celestia went away and I saw Twilight just looking at me. I then started to have a worried face on and was wondering what she was doing.

However, what I should have been asking was what was going through her head. I mean I could see her as she had opened her mouth just a tiny bit and kind of licked her lips just a slightly bit.

I could even she her gently, and so little that a normal person wouldn’t be able to notice, but I did, that she was moving her hips just a bit, like a thrust motion. I then decided to try to get her out of her trance and I waved my hoof and front of her.

However, it didn’t grab her attention, so I then decided to speak up, “Hello…Twilight…are you ok? Can I ask why you’re standing there and looking at me or are you going to continue to do that the entire night?”

Once I said that, she shook her head a few times to get her out of her own trance, and she looked a bit weird at first, but then she looked normal once more. She then said to me, “Sorry Knight, I was just…um…thinking about…would you like something to drink or eat before you get some rest Knight? I mean, you must be sort of hungry since you have been living in that forest for a long time and have not eaten any real food, am I right?”

I then stood there and thought about my answer for a moment or two; I don’t know which but it was one or two. I mean I never pay any attention to myself and time everything correctly, so why the fuck should I even guess in the first place…perhaps people are that stupid.

Anyways, I thought about my answer for a bit until I said, “Well, yeah, you’re right that I am starving because I’ve been living off of mushrooms this entire time along with some herbs and spices here and there. So yeah, I am somewhat hungry, but I can wait until tomorrow morning for breakfast though. Although I would like a glass of water if you don’t mind.”

Twilight then had a small smile upon her face and she said, “Sure thing Knight, coming right up.”

Twilight then went into the kitchen and went to fix me a glass of water. I then closed the door to the outside world and went back to my pillow and shit. Now, when I thought about my answer for what Twilight had asked not that long ago, I had to think carefully of what I say, because I do need to keep my thing a secret. I do not need my cover blown and they find out about the universes and portals.

I mean from what I have learned from my past experiences is that you need to ease them in, or they’re reminded of how they see reality might be destroyed, or they might end up asking you questions constantly. I also need to mention is that the mushroom thing is a kind of a lie.

I did eat mushroom from the forest, but I also hunted animals as well and harvested a few plants myself. And when I mean by harvesting, I mean by stealing other pony’s crops and shit.

As for the mushroom thing, I did have to make sure they were not poisonous, although that doesn’t matter since I have been living for so long and not aged in a long time I am immune to that kind of stuff.

However, that does not mean there is a negative about eating poison mushrooms. They can still leave a bad taste in your mouth that you thought you were eating Tara’s Strong’s pussy and you have a very bad breath on your mouth that not even mouth wash can help you.

Also, I wasn’t even hungry at all, granted I was still a bit thirsty for about anything, even Tara Strong’s pussy even though it’s god awful, and don’t ask me how I know how it tastes.

I don’t want to even explain that night to you guys. God I will never get that image out of my head. She was just all over the place…oh god I think I’m going to puke up.

Then again, I think I ate some weed, so I’m just going to eat my own puke because I might get high from the weed that didn’t digest yet. Wait…here it comes…

*Knight Pukes up and shallows puke.*

Man that is some good puke right there. I can just taste the weed now. I think I’m starting to get high now. I feel like I have the munchies now. Why is there a giant penguin on my bed now?

Ok aside from the things that I am seeing due to the awesome of weed, I then waited on the pillow for Twilight to come back with the glass of water. However, I had to wait thirty minutes for it because she was doing something in the kitchen.

I mean from what I could see in the back, she had one hoof on or near her crouch while the other on the glass of water. I don’t know what I saw, but whatever she was doing, she was clearly horny and has not been touched by Spike in days.

However, that’s what I thought, until I found out what it was that she was truly clopping to…you don’t want to know…trust me.

Well, later she was finished, she came over to me and magically handed my glass of water, which I then took by magic as well and put the glass to my lips. I then slowly started to drink and it went down my throat pretty easily.

While I was drinking, Twilight just staring at me…again…very weirdly I might add. Well, while she was doing this, Wolf was sleeping on a pillow that sat Celestia previously not too long ago.

I could tell he was tired, not that he was a young Timber Wolf, like how Spike is a young baby dragon. Oh no, Wolf was an adult Timber Wolf, young like in his twenties I guess, but he was still an adult though.

Well, after I drunk my water, Twilight took my glass back to the kitchen.

She then came back and she then asked me, “Well, I suppose we should be getting to bed then? Well, I do have a spare bed in my bedroom you can use. I do not know about Wolf though. I guess he could continue to sleep on that pillow. That and I am afraid of waking him up since I do not know what happens when you wake up a Timber wolf from its deep slumber. Would you know what would happen?”

I then answered her question with, “Well, it really all depends on what Timber Wolf you’re dealing with here. However, that is just a guess because I don’t really know. In other words, your guess is as good as mine.”

Twilight then looked a bit disappointed and looked at Wolf. She then gave a short and quick sigh and she said, “Well then, follow me.”

I then followed Twilight up to her bedroom, where the lights were turned off. I saw Spike was sleeping in his bed, quietly and soundly like a baby…because you know…he’s a baby dragon. What a god awful and horrible pun that I deserve to be shot because of such a terribly made pun.

Well, Twilight quickly got the spare bed out, which was out in a Conner and all, in which she used her decently powerful magic to drag it near her bed. She then placed it near her bed, but kind of far from Spike’s bed though.

She then looked at me once she was done moving the bed and said, “Well, here you go Knight. Hope that this is good enough for you.”

I then responded with, “Relax, this is all I need. I would’ve been fine if you would have given me a couch. In fact, I would’ve been fine with a couch. Moreover, I would’ve been fine with just a tree outside.”

Twilight then had an odd and curious look and asked me, “What do you mean by tree?”

I then explained, “Well, what I used to do instead of sleeping on the floor flat, I would just find a tree and sleep by it.”

Twilight then thought about it and she recalled her memories about Applejack and how she used to do it. Once she remembered, she had a bit of an embarrassing long on her face and a smile at the same time.

She then walked over to her bed, used her magic to grab the covers, and climbed onto the bed. She then said to me, “Oh, and before I forget Knight. If you want to use the restroom, it’s just down there just in case you need it. Well, good night Knight.”

Twilight then giggled a bit because she thought it was funny that she said a homophone. Well let me tell you something, that was not even close to being funny…at all. Well, since I didn’t have any uses for the bathroom…yet, went ahead and got into the bed, pulled the covers over me, and tried to go to sleep.

However, I was unable to, and eventually struggled to close my eyes and go to sleep. I just had a weird and uncomfortable feeling as if something was up. First off in my mind at the time, why was Celestia was worried about me saying no to her offer about the school and being her personal student and shit.

Secondly, why did I feel like I was going through the show, but in a weird way though, like the show is repeating itself, but instead of Twilight, it’s me.

Lastly, what a feeling that I could not shake off me for the life of me was that I had a weird feeling that I have been here before. However, it was in a weird way that I cannot explain in words what I was feeling.

It was just a weird feeling that I was turned over on my back in the bed and looked up at the ceiling. I don’t know why I was doing such a thing, but I just was, but I was doing that while trying to wonder why I was having this weird feeling.

However, I then had to shrug it off because I felt weak and I was in need of good rest. Therefore, I slept through the night, nothing odd in my dreams at all. When I woke up, it was around when Celestia’s sun had just risen up.

I woke up and noticed that Twilight was missing from her bed. However that is possibly because she had royal duties to attend to, so she obviously got up early just like Celestia and Luna to tend to her job.

I even noticed Spike strangely up from his bed as well, which I recall in the show that he never really was a morning dragon either. Why did I have to make that stupid saying anyways?

Well, never mind that, the main point was that Spike was gone and that was unusual. Well, I decided to go check downstairs, which is where they would be most likely be at since it is morning after all.

Well, I slowly got out of bed, yawned, and walked downstairs. When I did, I could smell the sweet scent of apple pancakes. In fact, I recalled not having any pancakes since I was back on Earth.

However I do recall that one thing with Celestia years ago, but I pushed that thought aside and concentrated on the present, or at least that was the past but at the time was the present. I’m confusing you aren’t I?

Well, for that, I am not sorry America, but you do need to get off of your phones and think for once and instead of doing nothing at all. Well, I walked downstairs and saw Spike was still sleeping on one of the pillows, along with Wolf as well.

That would make sense since Spike doesn’t want to wake up early and Wolf is…well a Timber Wolf. Twilight was also fixing some pancakes for the both of us, since she felt like having them and I was a guest. I mean, she always had manners and those manners were to treat a guest properly, even though I wouldn’t give a shit about being treated right.

I’ve been treated worst in the past. I even recall I was beaten to a bloody pulp once as a houseguest, but that’s another story. Although I never recall the thought of having the proper manners of treating a house guest properly in the morning, but that’s just me. That and I haven’t done anything in well mannered in years so that would explain a lot.

Well, Twilight was almost done fixing some of the apple pancakes, until she saw me, which she then lost concentration on the last pancake. She had a smile and an embarrassed look on her face at the same time.

She turned her head around to face me and said, “Oh, I did not hear you Knight coming down the stairs. Well, good morning Knight.”

I then had a neutral expression across my face, in which I said, “Yeah, good morning to you too Twilight,” as I walked towards a table where she had two plates filled with pancake that were stacked on top of each other.

Twilight then went back and turned her attention to the last pancake and she said, “I hope you do not mind that I am fixing pancakes. I thought since you were a houseguest, that and you lived in the Everfree Forest and all; I thought you needed something to eat. I would have gotten something else, but this is all I have for now. I also did not make these, but one of my friends Applejack made them for me. All I am doing is just warming them up on a frying pan if you were curious at all.”

I then said with a continued neutral expression, even though you already knew that, “Well, I suppose it’s fine. I remember I had pancakes once, but that was years ago. Although I’m not the much of a fan for pancakes, I’ll still eat it though.”

I then got close to a stack of pancakes, in which I was kind of hungry for pancakes. I mean I was more for waffles and all, but the smell of apple pancakes made my stomach growl. So I grabbed a fork and knife and started to cut my stack up, while Twilight was finishing her last pancake.

I started to hold the stack down while having the knife cut through the top to the bottom of the stack. Keep in mind the stack is only about five or seven pancakes tall. Well, I did this because I remember this trick that my human dad taught me to do…even though he was a douchebag to me in my opinion. That and he was a fat basturd as well and that he can go fuck himself.
That and my mom was an old skanky bitch that had tits that belonged in a morgue. That’s right, I burned my mom, so that old bitch can suck it in hell while I’m basking in the glory and warmth of Equestria. Well anyways, aside from my old parent problems, which most of the time I forget even existed, I then went ahead and cut the pancakes up into tiny bite sized pieces.

I then proceeded to slowly pour warm and tasty syrup all over the pancakes. It gently went onto the pancakes, and it flowed easily onto the plate as well. I even over did it and made a little puddle of syrup and…oh god I think I can jack off to this all night.
I am laughing so hard on the inside right now at the random joke, but on the outside, I’m sad…for no odd reason.

Well, I then chowed down on those bitches of pancakes, or in other words…just pancakes. Although I wonder how it would be like if there was a pimp kind of pancake and a hoe pancake.

I bet a normal pancake citizen of Batterville would pay a pancake hoe a hundred gallons of syrup to get his pancake dick sucked. Then the chip police bust in and Pringles would save the day.

I just ruined breakfast for you guys…didn’t I? I just ruined with a pancake having a dick, although I guess men would enjoy pancake hoes, since they would have a pussy to eat and since they wouldn’t be able to get any from their wives or girlfriends…or kidnap people they hide in their basement.

I guess a female pancake hoe would also have massive tits as well and they would jiggle around whenever they get cut up…ok maybe I should stop. I’m pretty sure right now hundreds of man are going to fantasy’s about that while eating breakfast and jacking off and Cuming onto the pancakes…then eating it whole.

I guess there is a good thing to it, since I gave teenage boys something to keep their minds on instead of their bitch girlfriends I suppose. Maybe that is a good thing…I deserve a solid gold medal for that good deed. Well, anyways, I then scuffed the entire stack down within five minutes.

There is one thing you should know about me, and that is I am a fast eater. Well, once I finished, I brought my plate to the sink, which was near Twilight. She had just finished fixing her last pancake, which strangely took thirty minutes, so I call bullshit on that.

Then again, she could possibly have been imagining about a pancake having a huge ass dick that’s bigger than yours and clopping to it. That or she was just busy fixing it, but I did get you Twilight clopper fans out there pretty pissed that you were beaten by a pancake. Well, aside from a not so funny thought, when I brought my plate to her, she noticed that I was done.

She had a shocked expression, but then turned into a smile, which she then said, “Well, you were really starving weren’t you?”
I then said, “Well, if you have been living off of mushrooms for the past year, you would be hungry as I am.”

She then had a smile upon her face as she placed the last pancake on her stack. She then said, “Well, just put the plate in the sink. I will wash it later today.”

I then said, “Oh there’s no need for that, I can help clean the plate for you. I mean, I do know some housework that was taught to me in the past.”

It was true; I did know some housework that I could do. Although I kind of am lazy at it. No really, I am lazy when it comes to housework. That’s why I either do it with magic, like using a spell for it or just pay an Illegal Mexican to do it that I kidnaped from Earth. I mean, that’s why god created Mexicans, so they can do our work for us…and not to be actual people to be treated equally.

They aren’t human, they’re slaves and they enjoy doing work they are being forced to do for a penny.

I mean a penny for them is a lot of money. They think they’re a millionaire when they have one and consider themselves to be above the middle class, when they’re really only slightly below the Asians…because you know…Asians consider one dollar a lot of money to them. They can buy a whopping four gumballs.

Anyways, once Twilight heard my offer, she said, “Well then, I do appreciate your help then Knight.”

I then proceeded to go over to the sink and started to rub a sponge constantly on the plate…and that’s all that I did to the plate. I didn’t put soap on it or anything…in fact it was still dirty and had childhood cancer AIDS on it I believe.

As I said, I was lazy, besides I was never taught to do dishes. I mean I never said anything about doing the dishes in the past, but I can do my own laundry though and fold it for sure.

That’s about it that I know how to do housework. Everything else is just a simple magic spell. I’m pretty sure every fat and lazy American person who is reading this book, which is pretty much a hundred percent by now considering the fact that the Muslims and Jews have stopped reading this.

That and the Asians and Mexicans are already started a revolution, but that’s only a guess I assume.

Anyways, as I was pretending that I gave a shit about cleaning the plate, I told Twilight, “Well, I can understand the feel when you’re busy with something, especially in your field of work I assume. I mean, it’s got to be busy, right?”

She then nodded her head towards me as I was cleaning the plate with a dry sponge…in other words spreading the childhood cancer AIDS. “Well, I understand the feeling when you’re so busy with life that you can’t do everything and you wish you could. That you feel a bit helpless and…no one is there for you and you can’t seem to do it anymore. Then someone ends up fucking backstabbing you in the back even after all, they did for you.

Then you end burying them a fucking grave because you fought them and killed them in cold blood…and you leave someone in the dirt to die for fifteen mother fucking years! FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS! And it all happened because someone decided to fuck you over when a plan was starting to come together,” I finished saying.

Twilight had a very surprised reaction to what I just said, and when I finished reliving a memory that I had in my past adventuring days, I said to her, “I’m sorry Twilight….I’m just remembering something that happened to me in my younger days. It’s…a long story, a mistake that I wish had not made, but unfortunately I had no choice but to do so.”

Twilight then turned her face from a shocked expression to a weird ‘what the fuck’ face on and asked me, “Can I ask why you curse so much? I mean, I know that you do it out of anger, but could you instead use a different and more appropriate word then what you use?”

I then responded to her as I pretended to finish up cleaning the plate that was infected with childhood cancer AIDS, “Well, one I can’t stop using it. I mean it is my thing, so sorry. Second, I’m not sure why I use it, I just use it.”

Actually, I do have a reason for using it. First off, if one is to understand why I curse, or anyone for that matter, you need to understand why bad words are bad.

For one thing, the words that you know that are commonly are used that people who have big wigs and people who are strict people that can never have any fun and seem to shit on your entire life, like critics, politicians, critics, Harvard people, critics…critics. Ok, it seems that I have a problem with critics no…ever since that day back on earth…then again I did kill his entire family.

Not because of his review, but because I felt like it. Yeah, I’m sort of random at times, but I’m cool once you get to know me. Anyways, aside from that dark joke that happened years ago, those words had previous meanings to it and weren’t always considered bad. In fact, the word was used in the bible at times.

However the only reason why it’s bad is…I have no fucking clue but I do know for a fact that whatever a word that is unpleasant or disgusting, it’s considered to be a bad word.

Take the meaning of the word ‘fuck’ for a moment. What word means to have sex in the ass or butt of a person…or in other words, anal.

Although it does mean pleasure, it can also mean rape at times, and not everyone likes it of course. That and the concept of a guy putting a dick up a chicks asshole isn’t the best of all ideas at first, but once you get to know it, it’s amazing…even though I never experienced it in my life. So of course, society today thinks it of as a bad word.

The N word…actually that one is self-explainable if you do a little history research. The word ‘Ass’ does mean donkey of course, which also explains why it was used in the biblical days. It is an old word, yes, quite so, but it’s a bad word because whenever we call someone an ass, we call them a donkey.

So really it’s a word that is meant to disgrace someone, to call them a name or they are a piece of shit that should go kill themselves. That or a retard, immature, is just like a donkey I suppose.

Also, the word bad can even be considered to be a bad word, but that’s only because whatever is considered to be unpleasant can be considered to be a bad word. Now, this can also mean in the future, the current bad words we know today, such as ‘ass, shit, crap, fuck, cunt, asshole, dumbass, and the N word’, will be no longer considered to be a bad word. Instead, the words like ‘depressed, mental, aspy, and schizo’ would all be considered to be a bad word in the future due to their meanings.

However, a smart person, whatever his name is, separates bad words into five categories. The first one is abusive, or in other words, to hurt someone. I never really curse because of that.

The other four are emphatic, dysphemism, idiomatic, and cathartic are the other categories. Idiomatic is one of the reasons why I curse, because it means that I am comfortable.

It means that we are all cool; we can curse and no once give a fuck. Cathartic is another reason why I swear, that it means that I do it out of pain. Whenever we stub our toe, or have one of our bones broken, we tend to yell out curse words, mostly fuck or son of a bitch, even if we are mentally or emotionally hurt.

Dysphemism is one more reason why I curse, which means that I talk about something unpleasant, but I let you guys know or whoever reads this that I get it in a respectable way.

For example, as an arrogant professional would do, instead of the word shit, he would use the word defecate. However, if you don’t want to be a snooty person like that one guy who shits on everyone’s life and tells them that they’re not worthy of anything in life, you can just use a curse word to express how unpleasant something was that you experienced. Emphatic is the last reason why I curse, although with abusive, I do that but only on rare occasions I say before anyone starts a flame war…even though it’s a leather bounded book and not the computer…right?

Anyways, the word emphatic means…it means…son of a bitch, ok I sometimes get confused with the definition with this one, but I’m, pretty sure it’s a reason why I swear a lot. So instead of me babbling on something and getting way off track, I’m going to let Vsauce handle this one for yeah. Vsauce!?

That and to give you a more of a detailed I suppose for you critics out there why I fucking curse so much…and why bad words are bad and shouldn’t be taken seriously when I do write it in this awesome book of my life.

I would’ve explained all of this to Twilight, but I’m pretty sure I offended enough Twilight fans out there enough, even though this was years ago but had a strange feeling I was going to write this in a book one day.

Yup, I’m like Pinkie Pie in Equestria Girls where she had a weird feeling that she knew what kind of plot she was in the entire time. Well, aside from not showing how smarter I am then Twilight herself, I went ahead and pretended that I was done cleaning the dishes.

However, I believe later Twilight and Spike…along with every other pony in the town and Equestria I assume got infected by childhood cancer AIDS.

Well, I finished and sat by Twilight as she was eating her breakfast of pancakes stacks. However, we didn’t speak a single word while I was at the table. In fact, it felt awkward that we didn’t say anything to each other and as if we just had sex not too long ago.
It’s as if we were trying to avoid each other’s eye contacts because one of us wasn’t that great in bed and we had horrible, god awful sex and we couldn’t get an orgasm of any kind. Not even if I took my condom off, we still couldn’t cum on each other, even if we tried.

Moreover, for some odd reason, I have a major boner right now…a boner that says to me, ‘jack off Knight…just jack the night away. Just sing the jacking it song and get it over with.’

Well mister dick, I’m here to tell you to go fuck off and die. I don’t care if you are my only sign of man hood, just go fuck off and die with the other virgins out there…just like with Jesus’ dick. Besides, my dick is a weird looking dick when it has an erection, because it looked like a cat playing a trombone…no wait…I just described a woman’s orgasm…..well shit.

Anyways, after Twilight finished her stack of the apple pancakes, she then proceeded to take the plate to the sink.

Afterwards, she then told me, “Don’t worry Knight. I can handle my own plate when I get home later today.”

Then we headed towards to the door that led to the outside and civilized world that the ponies called ‘society.’ You hear that Facebook and Twitter people, did you hear that big and fancy word for you? I hope you did, because that means you actually learned something other than your friends being raped at a party that was filled with cocaine.

Maybe you Facebook and Twitter people should join ‘society’ and get off your phones…and maybe you will do the world a favor that way instead of making America look like a bunch of dead brain idiots that you can only do is get fat and being retards. Then again why do I care, I’m in Equestria, so suck it…but seriously though get a life. I mean, even though I don’t care about you since I’m in a different universe, I still kind of care about your sanity and question it.

I’m just trying to make your world a better place one discouraging remark at a time.

Well, when Twilight and I were about to enter society…hint, hint…I asked Twilight, “May I ask why we are heading outside Twilight?”

Twilight then continued to have a smile on her face and told me, “Well I told my friends that I was going to meet them today at the spa. I may have royal duties, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hang out with my friends Knight…if that is what you were thinking is…sorry if you were not. I just assumed that is why you asked…but it seems that I may have made a mistake that I assumed wrong. You can tag along if you want and I can tell my friends about you and what happened last night.”

I then looked away from that bitch’s face and thought about it. On one hoof I didn’t feel like going to the spa, mostly because it was a spa…and I was a guy…those two things sort of doesn’t go together. On the other hoof, and keep in mind that the word hoof is intentional.

Anyways, as I was saying, on the other hoof, I could meet the rest of the main six. Then again, they can’t know, nor do they know of the show, that I was from another universe. However, I said the word fuck it before I kicked the bucket…I think.

Anyways, I said that and thought why not…or fuck it before I kicked the bucket. Either way, I basically said the word yes. I then told Twilight, “Sure, let me just get Wolf just in case I get picked up for Celestia’s school…I assume that is, even though she said it last night. Well, let me just get Wolf.”

When I turned around to get Wolf, Twilight had a worried face, but I’m sure it was out of that she was worried that the ponies of ‘society’…hint, hint…would not react well to the sight of Wolf being a Timber Wolf and all.

She was right; the ponies were…how do I dare say it? I suppose you could use the word retarded, but that’s going a bit too far because they’re not entirely retarded. They are smart retards you could say.

Yeah…smart retards…let’s go with that one to describe their intelligence. Well, I then walked over to Wolf, and he was still sleeping like a baby and possibly dreaming of something that didn’t relate to anything at all.

Well, I then gently and like a mother with a motherly tone would do, pick him up by his ass and toss him and punch him in his balls.

I then said to him in a kind voice that Fluttershy would use in this situation, “GET THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

Wolf then slowly opened up his eyes and was a bit cranky wince I woke him up and shit, and I told him, “Come on Wolf…Wolf we’re going to the spa and shit. Apparently, Twilight wants us there because she wants to show us off to her friends that seems that if they never saw a Timber Wolf in their life. Now get up off your ass and move it Wolf…I fear that we’re going to have a bad day ahead of us…and it’s going to be a long ass one.”

Wolf then proceeded to follow me towards the door, while I had a smirk on my face while Twilight seemed to be somewhat disgusted how I treated Wolf the way that I acted in front of her and Wolf.

She then decided to ask me, “Do you always have to act that way?”

I then said along with the smirk on my face that continued to sit there, “It’s a guy thing Twilight, you wouldn’t understand.”

Twilight then made a confused look on her face while Wolf passed her. I’m willing to bet that Twilight just realized that I made a sexist joke, but couldn’t figure out if that I did or not.

It was as if she couldn’t tell what was a joke or not, like she was a retard. Well, I’m sorry to say this but…she is kind of a retard when it comes to jokes. I mean she just would read them from a book, that’s for sure, but not on her own with her own brain. She would just suck really hard at making a joke…even if it was a pun…and those are the worst jokes…kind of…but not really though.

I don’t know, I hate puns, but others seem to like them and enjoy them for what they are…even though they never do with everything else, but still.

I guess I just don’t like puns I assume. Well, it was around lunchtime when Twilight and I started to head out. Once we entered ‘Society’…hint hint…we were good for a couple of seconds…until they laid eyes upon Wolf. Once they saw Wolf, well it’s kind of predictable, they all panicked and thought the world was about to end. I don’t know why but I find that funny as hell that they do that.
Well, Twilight saw this
and of course she had to be a buzzkillington, so she found a create that said ‘soap’ on it and climbed atop it’s glorious wooden planks…just like Minecraft…except it was a lot shitty of wood then in the game. Well, she then raised her hoof up into the air and she closed her eyes just as a smart person would do if he or she were to receive an award for best douchebag of the year award…just like every Harvard person or guy who shits on your life.

She then said, “Everypony…may I have your attention please!? I do know what you fear…I do know why you run. You run because you fear that something is here to hurt you all. You all run from a monster from an unknown world and you fear that death is upon your souls. Well I am here to tell you that there is nothing to fear…not even fear itself. You don’t have to fear, as fear is a choice.

We can either ignore it or embrace it, but it is your choice.

Do not fear for this timber Wolf here is not here to harm you at all, but here because of this pony right here. This pony here that goes by the name of Knight lived in the Everfree Forest for a year. For a whole year, he has lived among the animals, even the ones that we fear the most. Knight here has even tamed a Timber Wolf and made him his friend, so there is nothing to fear here. All you need to do is understand the Timber Wolf who is named Wolf, and accept him among your social living structure. Now I bid you all a good day.”

Wow…Twilight is a major buzz kill, because she used those words and the way she used them.

Anyways, once she climbed down from the box, she then asked me a question, which was, “So then…how do you like the way that I talked and made my speech. I’m trying to use a different way to make speeches instead of the traditional way. I thought that since Celestia and Luna have been using the way that they have been talking in, I thought I would spice things up and do something different for once.”

I then stood there in front of Celestia and recalled my time from earth. I remember the fic that I was writing and remembered that I was trying to do something different. I was trying to use a simple way of writing a fan fic instead of the more traditional format.

Well, unfortunately not a lot of people liked change or in other words told me that I was worthless and banned me from a site for all of eternity.

Even though I knew these ponies weren’t like humans at all, I felt like Twilight had to be careful what words she said, so I told her, “Listen…Twilight…your speech was good and all. However, I do have little experience when trying to change something up, and let’s just say not all agree to change…so it’s best to stick with the traditional format of speaking instead of the way that you were. However, I’m sure within time, then you can change things, but it seems that today isn’t today to do that.”

Twilight then nodded her head and agreed to me with my point, while I thought in my head, ‘yeah, that won’t happen in a million years Twilight. You won’t be able to change anything with ponies complaining about shit that is different. Granted it never hurts to try with these ponies since they’re different then humans, but fuck it, I’m not in the mood.’

However, when Twilight turned around, and I swear that I didn’t noticed this, she had all of the ponies of the village all up in her face…just staring at her.

When Twilight saw this, she backed up a bit and was shocked that she saw this happening in front of her eyes.
Then a pony from way back in the crowed said, “How did that pony named Knight lived in the Everfree Forest for a year?”

Then twilight looked worried and turned to me for an answer, while I had widened eyes for I was a bit shy and shocked at this point in time. I then hesitated a bit until I said, “Well…I lived by these words every day. I either die alone or fight to survive…revenge solves everything.”

Everypony seemed to be satisfied by my answer, except for that last line, that looked a little bit confused, but they decided to fuck off and let us live instead of…I don’t know killing us I suppose. I mean they were all together in a group.

Well, as they all walked away and continued to live there merry little lives; Twilight then asked me, “What did you mean by that revenge part Knight?”

I then said to her, “Well…it’s a long story…for another time of course. Let’s just get to the spa and meet your friends instead of standing here ok?”

Then we walked off until we reached the spa. However, the truth about the last line is true. I used it every day when I was in my adventuring days outside of the universe, because it was kind of tough and I did have plenty of enemies to fight at the time.

That and I was actually planning a revenge plan on that critic gave me a bad review score on my hard working and different type of fic by hacking into the site. Then using those lines, as I was the Lone Wolf because no one did care about me…which led to depression and almost blowing my brains out in a dirty motel with a shotgun.

Aside from remembering that depression memory, we then headed to the spa with no more distractions in our way. Once we did, the spa twins greeted us and they led us to the spa room with Twilight’s friends in it.

Although they didn’t react to Wolf, which was a bit strange, but then again, those chicks were weird. I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re lesbians…I’m pretty sure of it. You can tell in their eyes that they want each other’s pussy and fuck each other in the ass…even though it’s kind of impossible, but still.

Well, once we entered, the rest of the mane six was having the time of their lives for they were relaxing in the spa. When they noticed Twilight, Applejack said, “Well hello Twilight, how is your…Twilight…there’s a Timber Wolf right behind ya!”

Then Rainbow Dash quickly got up from her chair that she was resting her back on and she had her hooves ready for fight and said, “Where’s the Timber Wolf at? Let me have it so I can teach it not to mess with Ponyville or us.”

Twilight then told Rainbow Dash and the rest of her friends…but mostly Rainbow Dash, “Relax girls…it’s alright. It’s just Wolf. He’s a Timber that has been tamed by Knight here.”

Then Pinkie Pie jumped up from the hot tub and punched on me to say, “A new pony in town! You must be new here because I never seen you around here before. Twilight told me that your name is Knight, Knight’s a good name for a Stallion I guess. My name is Pinkie Pie and I’m going to throw you the best party you will ever have in your life!”

Then Twilight pulled Pinkie off my stomach and she said, “Settle down Pinkie Pie…Knight isn’t going to stay here in Ponyville.”

Then Pinkie Pie started to have a frown form on her face, to which she then asked, “Awe…but why isn’t he staying here? Can I at least give him a cake since he won’t stay here for a while?”

Twilight then had a smile on her face and she then said, “ Well, this is Knight. He is Princess Celestia’s new personal student. We found him last night.”

Rarity then jumped into the conversation in which she then said, “A personal student you say? Why that is a great honor for a pony to have bestowed upon him. You are one lucky pony Knight; I hope you have the best of luck with you in the future, especially being a personal student of Celestia. Oh, and you get to go the big and best events that are held in Cantorlot as well. You even get to go to the Grand Galloping Gala and go to exclusive parties that only the most highest of all that are respected in Cantorlot get to go to. I can see we will be friends and will get along just fine if we ever end up meeting again in the future.”

Rarity continued to have a big smile on her face as I just stood there and wondered, ‘you know bitch, you don’t have to explain to me. I can tell that you like that fancy shit by the sound of your voice. By the way, why isn’t that bitch ain’t British.

She sounds like it, but she isn’t a Wizard. Maybe she got expelled from Hogwarts…that makes so much sense to me. Maybe she said the one who shall not be named.

Well whatever, I’m just waiting until I get picked up for Cantorlot. I know I might not enjoy the fancy shit, since I’m not all for that kind of shit, but fuck it. This is only for the best for the future if I am to face TF, for I am sure he will return with vengeance set in his heart. Why am I thinking like this?’

Anyways, Applejack then asked, “So, can I ask why did this feela here gets to be a personal student over night Twi?”

Twilight then said to her as a response back, “Well, it’s a long story. You see…”

And she gave the explanation or the story you might say of what happened last night. I’m pretty sure you know what happened, and with the mane six’s reaction if you wondered, well, they were surprised is all.

Nothing to special, although Twilight did mention how powerful my magic is, which all the ponies were shocked by that statement. Twilight even made me do a demonstration of my magical ability that a normal unicorn would struggle doing.

Granted, it wasn’t my full potential that I could have used for my magic, but I’m pretty sure no one wanted to burn alive in the place, so it was something simple…like for example, lifting the entire spa building with ease. Now everypony in town got their attention stuck on me, and a crowed formed from around the area…until the Royal Guards flew from the sky while carrying a carriage behind them.

It was a sign of that it was time for me to go, which I wondered why Celestia did not come get me in person but that’s beside that point. I then got onto the carriage, said my goodbyes to Twilight and her friends for now and left to go to Cantorlot to go to a fancy school for people who would shit on your life.

The ride did take a few hours, which was almost wasting the entire day for me, with just a little hours left to enjoy. However, around when Celestia’s sun seemed to about to set, which it was kind of awesome I might add to look at as it went beneath the ground, I was in Cantorlot.

When I had finally reached my destination, Celestia and Luna were there on the school grounds waiting to greet me. When Wolf and I got off, Celestia said to me, “I hope you had a pleasant journey on the way over here I suppose?”

I then replied with, “Yeah…sure…whatever you say you flaming bitch of the sun.”

However, it seemed that Celestia didn’t hear a single word that I said and instead blocked it out and put other words in front of what I said. At the time, I was confused about this as well, but decided to shrug it off.

Well, Celestia and Luna then walked with me to my new room at the school and to show me around a bit. Once I touched the ground, we started to walk, while Luna and Celestia had a smile on their faces, while Wolf and I had a neutral look on our faces.
It was because frankly we didn’t give a fuck about the place, we just wanted to move on with life and have a good time. Although it wasn’t that bad of a tour compared to other students at the school, because they had shit to carry with them along with their bags and shit.

With me, I didn’t have much other then my satchel and my hat. That was about it unless you count Wolf as a carryon bag. I mean, he’s sort of useless, so yeah, I guess you would count him as a carryon bag I suppose.

The first thing that Celestia and Luna walked me into for the tour was the main center area of the school. It was the…I don’t know how to explain it…a part of the school where there is a square in the middle, in which a yard is in place there.

It’s sort of like that, but there was a small river running through the middle, which the river led off into Cantorlot and off to the cliffs and into the giant ass lake that stood in front of Cantorlot. When I got there, there were no students anywhere to be seen, so it was like a ghost town or an abandoned place like a forum of a forgotten website.

And it still has one guy that still uses it and pretends that someone cares about him, which is really just him but using a second account to reply to comments on his first account. Well, Celestia said to me, “This spot of the school is the main spot where the students use their free time to either study or simply talk to their friends. As you can see the small river is also a beautiful addition to the area. This area can also be sued during lunch hours, and it is accessible during when school is not in session.”

I then asked Celestia the first question that would come to mind if anypony else saw what I saw, “Um…yeah…whatever you say you two timing whore, can I ask why no pony is here at the moment? It is still school hours, correct?”

Then Celestia had a bit of an embarrassed face and said, “Excuse me Knight, I forgot to tell you why you see no one at the moment. My apologize, but to answer your question, school hours are still in effect at the moment. Although, the final hours of class for today is almost up, so any minute now students will be crowding this area to relax and study for the rest of the day. Anyways…”

I then cut Celestia off and asked her another question, “Can I also ask if this is the only area that I will be free to do whatever the fuck I want or is this the place where I will be stuck at and if I ever leave the school grounds I’ll be shot. And if I survive the shot, I’ll be shot again by some redneck I assume.”

Celestia then said, with ignoring the last bit about my comment, “Well, there is a park that is private for the school grounds not too far from here. It’s near the back entrance to the school. This is merely the west side of the school that you’re looking at right now at this very moment Knight.”

I then said to myself, “I see…”

I mean, I’m pretty sure there will be a dancing and singing gang with leather jackets that would come out in any moment. Then said group would be call west side story or whatever bullshit there is to call a gang with leather jackets on that’s not mildly racist.
In which said group would start to have a fight with another group that wants to take over and shit like that.

Also, at the time, I said to myself, ‘If this is the west side of the school and I bet there is an interesting side story to it as well, I would hate to see the east side.

I can only imagine how much of a hood it can be with ponies involved with it. I bet the east side of the school is filled with black guy ponies…or zebras for that matter. Some badass zebras that can put lead in me anytime they want to.

That and Herpes I suppose, but herpes are so nineties right now. Anyhow, I suppose the east side wouldn’t be so bad to take a quick visit before I get shot for joining the wrong side in a gang war, even though I just took on step on a certain side of the area.
Hey…what’s that towering peak up there? Maybe I should shut up and ask Celestia.’

I then asked, “Um…Celestia…what exactly is that tower that I see right in front of me that is near the west of the school and seems to be connected with your castle…I think?”

She then saw what I was seeing, which was a towering castle point thing. You know, the thing that you would see a princess in if she were captured by a dragon.

It was white and had that usual roof like shape to it in any typical fairy tale of some sort that is lies to children, but to them it’s real.

However when you tell them it’s fake and just a story, they beat the living shit out of you and they never forgive you. They then end up sending assassin’s after your ass and shit goes down, they call their mother a whore because they were fucked to be born, and complain that Santa Claus isn’t real.

Well, Celestia then had a smile on her face and even raised her hoof to her mouth for some odd reason but still has a charm to it the way it looked. While at the same time, Luna just continued to smile and look up to her big sister Celestia. Well, Celestia then said to me, “Well, that was Twilight’s old dorm room, which now belongs to you since you are my new personal student and all.

The tower seems to be connected to the castle, which it is, but it’s also connected to the school as well, making it the only property connecting both to the castle and school.

About halfway up or down the stairs, there is a small point where a small intersection comes in which leads you to a path that will access the castle. Of course, however, Royal Guards are stationed there, so no one can easily get into the castle itself. You will use that pathway whenever I need you or use it to go back to your room if to say an event has just finished. As for where it starts, it starts from that other area I told you about where you can study or have fun with friends in a small private park area. Anymore questions before we move on?”

I then shook my head because I was still mind boggled by what Celestia had just said to me. I know it doesn’t sound that confusing, but to me it was, besides I smoked weed, even though I never had any cancer or anything from it. Well, Celestia then made a gesture that told us that we were going to move on.

I would talk about what else she showed me in detail, but there’s too many to talk about and most of them were just about the classrooms and shit like that. For example, the north side of the west wing of the school held the Equestrian Language class.

The south side held Science classes, while the west side of the west wing held the magic classes. The east one however were the dorm rooms, and of course were separated by gender.

Then again, it would make sense since it would prevent rape, because that’s what they’re only good for…shitty sexist joke…I know, how’s your day been going so far? Well, the same thing can be said about the west side of the east wing, which was the normal square in the middle bullshit and there held the dorm rooms.

The north side of the east wing held the history classes, while the south side held the health and Sex ED classes…I see what she did there…she’s a clever little bitch she is I tell you. The east side of the east wing also held whatever other classes I didn’t say because they were too many of them, along with the top portions of the front and back of the school as well.

Speaking of the middle, the front held the entrance to the school, the main one that I should say, and with it in the front was an iron statue of that wizard pony that had a white beard.

I forgot his name but he was important. I believe his name was star swirl the horny old man that tried to rape Celestia at one point?

Nope…whatever, I don’t care. Well, it then led to the main office and a great hall I should say that looked over the best and brightest of teacher and students and shit like that and even paper work to try to attend the school.

There was even tours that were being given to those of new students coming in, but I get the fancy one with the princesses, so fuck them up in the asshole, I’m better then them in every way possible and shit. I’m kind of drunk right now sort of…but not really…you can tell can’t you?

Well, it then went from the hallway to the lunchroom, where it leads to both of the outside squares and shit like that I suppose. It also went pass the dorm room and shit like that I guess, while at the same time the main lunchroom had floating candles above us.

I can tell that this school is a bit jealous at Hogwarts, sneaky little bastards. Well, if you were to go around the lunchroom, and when I mean by that, I mean by going up stairs to the top and not to the other classes.

In the middle held a ballroom that was under a dome…makes sense right. However, that was about it, along with being some extra dome rooms but that was kind of like off campus and it is forgotten but it is still there for those who would like to go there, but sadly no one chooses to.

It’s mostly because I’ve heard some ghost stories and along with other creepy tales about those dorm rooms. Some of them are actually fucking scary and will make you not sleep at night, I’ll tell you, while others you can tell are fake and is nothing but a pedophile in the forgotten rooms.

So yeah, that was about it…other than having my room. Well, after Celestia and Luna gave me a tour of the school grounds, they then showed me the way to my room, which was like they said, on that private park like area.

Well, I was on that area and it was decently big, and it felt somewhat nice. There was even a little pond to go and sit by if anyone wanted to kill somepony there.

Well, I went up the spiral staircase and in which my legs were somewhat tired as fuck. However, it wasn’t that bad, for it only took me a minute or two to reach the top.

When I did, I felt a bit of relief in my legs that it was done being used for a bit. When I reached the top, I opened up the door and saw a big ass room…all just for me. I saw the bed that was next to the big ass windows that looked over the school grounds with such a magnificent look to them.

I even saw the big hourglass look alike thing in the center of the room. No sand was falling down from the top, since, but it was on an axis that if it would to be turned upside down, the sand can fall and the time can begin. I even saw a little reflection inside of the hourglass of Nightmare Moon.

Funny, I recall that in the first episode when you could see a reflection of Nightmare Moon in the hour glass. I thought that was just an Easter Egg, but I believe it was in the show.

However, at the time, I couldn’t figure out why the reflection was there. I had thought that it meant something, that it was a mystery to be solved…just like everything that I do. I mean that ball of light was still a mystery to me for what it was at the time. I then turned my head to the left and saw nothing but rows upon books.

There was even a second floor to the room, like what you would see in a barn. You know, the one where there is a ladder to and shit like that, and on the second level there would be hay placed there. That kind of stuff, but it was more of like an area to read and research.
To my right stood a desk with a little lamp, along with one of those boards that you could put a pin in place to hold a piece of paper. That and that was about it to the right. The right side of the room felt lonely then the left side of the room. I actually felt sad for the right sad of the room.

Granted I could put shit there and do shit with it, maybe even put a chair there…The poor right of the room.

I mean, I do generously feel bad for it; it’s just sitting there all lonely and shit. Also, the interior color of the room was just like in the show, well the first episode that is, so if you saw it then you got a good sense of what it was like, just a bit different I suppose. I mean the interior colors were like a purple-ish color, but at the time, same time a bluish color as well.

So, I don’t know, think whatever you want, it’s there to stay. After I saw and went exploring what the place had to offer, I then turned my head towards to Celestia and Luna while Wolf went to his own personally made bed.

Oh, Right, and I forgot to mention that before I came here, Celestia had ordered a pony to make a personal bed for Wolf. I suppose that is why that she had me come here later in the day.

Then again, wolf would’ve been fine without a bed, but she just wanted to be a nice bitch about it. What a bitch, she doesn’t’ act nice towards Wolf, that’s my job. Then again I kind of say shit about him, but he’s my best friend, so yeah.

Any who, I then turned my head towards Celestia and Luna as I said before, and I saw them that they had smiles upon their faces with what I’m willing to bet with glee in their hearts.

Although I hope, it isn’t the show Glee or else I’m going to choke myself to death with a rope that was made out of a rhino’s asshole while sticking my dick in an electrical socket made by retarded apes.

God I can’t tell you how much I hate that show. I blame that show for the world’s problem, where’s Hitler when you need him? No wait…that’s right…he’s dead in hell. Maybe I can resurrect him and…wait…I already did that a long ass time ago. Well, aside from the Jews being afraid of Zombie Hitler on the loose with a Jet pack, because you know…he always loved jet packs.

Anyways, Celestia then said to me with the happiness on her face as the setting sun of her reflected off of it of its orange glow, “Well then, how do you like the place Knight? Does it suit your needs or is there something that you see unfit with the room itself?”

I then stood there, slowly formed a smile upon my face, and then responded with, “No Celestia, this is…an amazing place I’ll admit. It suits my needs very well I should say. I just never had such a grand place like this before in my life. Thank You Celestia…that means a lot to me.”

Celestia then had a smile upon her face but even bigger then before and closed her eyes, as she was glad that she made me happy.

I then went up to her and hugged her, as she put her hoof around my back as well as she said, “I am very glad that you like it Knight.”

However, of course…that…was a lie that I told. In my all-honest opinion, the place was decent…and I’ll admit, never seen anything like it before. Granted I have been outside of the universe before, and back in my old adventuring days, I learned some awesome and neat little tricks.

I could create worlds just from my mind and even fill it with people from my mind as well. It could be whatever I wanted as well. It could be an old desert world in America, on an old route sixty-six highway underneath the stars away from light pollution.

Perhaps a fancy club that you would see during the nineteen forties and would hear big band type of music in it as well. The one where you would see gangsters and governors exchanging phone numbers to one another for future business.

Or a grand palace that you would always have wanted as a child. You could even be in space if you wanted to do so without a space helmet.

However of course with these abilities came great consequences, as do many other things as well. Whatever you imagination can cook up, it was yours, and I have created some grand places in my past before.

So the room that I was given was nothing new to me. However there is one thing that doesn’t suit my needs…what is the one thing that I clearly never gave a fuck about in my life, nor do I act like that way?

Go on…guess…because it really doesn’t connect when you start to see the comparison between the two. It would be the fucking books of that room that fills the walls, that’s what it was ladies and gentleman!

If you have been reading this far into my story of my life, you can tell that you would have been expecting more detailed and appropriate word choice than these types of words.

You might even say it’s lacking in some areas, but really, I’m not that type of guy who does that shit. I don’t just go around and use big and fancy language, I’m that type of guy who just wants to have a good time and enjoy life as much as he can.

I don’t do what normal adults do, which would be pretty much everything that I do. I just don’t do it, nor do I act like I am better then everyone. No I do not good people of Earth, no I do not, so why in the world would I care about books? Seriously, I don’t care, Celestia should just take them away for the love of god. I don’t care about them.

Sure some good stories can be founded if one were to take the time and look between the books and even use them for research and shit like that. However that’s not the type of guy that I am either.

I either cheat or memorize the shit you know. As for projects, I just make something up and lie about it. However, when I was looking around, curious as to what there was to be done with my room, in the conner of my eye I saw how Celestia and Luna looked so happy.

I saw them as if they had done a good deed, and to be honest even though I’m not that type of guy who does shit you would expect me to do…I do have a soft spot sometimes. And I would also have felt bad and had guilt on me forever if I didn’t say the right words, so I made up a lie that I liked the place and was glad that I was there.

I even added a little on top for Celestia to be glad that I was there, made her feel good inside by going up, and hug her as if I were a long lost relative of hers.

Anyways, when we were done hugging each other, she pushed back a little and she said to me, “Well, that is about to show you Knight. You will start you education first thing in the morning, so the rest of the day is yours. You can come down and have dinner with me and Luna if you want to in the Castle tonight.”

I then continued to have a small smile on my face and said to them, “No, I’m fine with tonight. Maybe another time we could do that, but tonight I feel like just getting some rest. Besides, Twilight did lend me some snacks I can have later on if I wanted to. She let me take some sandwiches with me and I put it in my bag.”

Celestia then continued to smile and she then said to me, “Well Knight, I hope you enjoy your stay at the castle. I look forward to meeting you in the morning.”

Both of the princesses then left and closed the door behind them. As they did, I then went through my mind and said to myself, ‘Yeah…Twilight gave me those snacks. Too bad that isn’t true. I just stole them from her while she wasn’t looking. Then again, I’m pretty sure Spike is going to be upset that it’s gone, but he doesn’t know who took them.

Besides, he’s a baby dragon, he shouldn’t be obsessed as shit. Besides, I quickly made a change in Twilight’s mind that if Celestia were to ask about this to her, she would say that she remembered lending me some snacks. Wait…why am I telling this to myself if I already know what I did and why I did it? Then again, I feel like god is watching me right now and wants to know the truth of it. God, if you’re reading my thoughts right now, fuck you then because you are a pervert for reading others minds. That’s right…I told you what’s for…I’m lonely aren’t I?’

I then decided to waste the day that I had left. I didn’t do much as Wolf was sleeping in his bed. I didn’t even decide to look through the books that I was offered with the room.

I just went towards the window and watched as the kids hanged out on the grass. I saw some kids playing Frisbee while others just watching some kid who he thinks he’s deep and shit and playing a guitar. I’m willing to bet that he was playing a song that was about water.

I just have a weird feeling inside me that it was all about H2O and shit like that. Like he’s good at getting the chicks, shit because he’s sensitive and deep, and shit.

Well fuck those douchebags, they can go to hell for all I care. Other than that, there was a few groups just hanging out and talking amongst themselves in a group. I would have gone down and talked to a few of them, told them that I was new there and possibly make some friends, but I was a bit shy at the time.

Then again if they were to bully me because I was new at the school, I would’ve been able to kick their asses because really I’m good at that. Then again, I don’t know how well that would go well with Celestia and Luna, but then again their women, what can they do to hurt me?

I mean, all they’re good at is having boobs so you have something to look at while talking to them. Although they’re ponies so they don’t have that…I suppose their pussy can do, because I’m not that humanoid type of Brony where the breasts are actually there and shit.

Besides, those types of Bronies are just furies that way or however you say their god-forsaken name. Anyways, I was just sitting their letting the day go away. Eventually all the students went to their dorms before their curfew time was up. Once everypony went in, it was about for the time for the moon to come up.

Once that happened, I then slowly walked away from the window and just stood in the middle of the room.

After that, I then started to go cross eyed on myself until I said to myself, “Well this is fucking great! Not only I have to go to school again…but I have to go to fucking school with fucking hippies!!! Mother fucker I thought this was only going to be a short time, but now I can tell that I am going to be stuck here for years to come!

The only fucking reason why I even fucking came here in the first place was to see if I couldn’t have my powers be trained and focused and maybe even learn new abilities…but nope! Apparently, I have to go to school dam it! I’m starting to feel like this is the universes fault right now! I’m so angry right now I can just rip a kitten’s head off and piss in his dead corpse while eating it’s beating black heart while sucking a penguin’s asshole out!”

While I was saying all of that, I was walking around the room, giving gestures to absolute no one but myself that expressed how pissed I was for not realizing this could happen.

Honestly, I thought this would have at least lasted for a year, but it lasted for a few years before I was done with the school. I just didn’t feel like going through school again. I mean I recall my high school days back on earth and I had no fun whatsoever.

I never had a girlfriend, you always saw those stupid ass bitches that complain about life but yet it’s their own faults for doing so. You always hear about them always going on facebook, they had their new fancy phones and shit like that.

I mean, High School was not my place other than just to get an education. As I said, I only had one friend, so I was basically the odd one out of the bunch. I mean when I left Earth I was so glad I left school.

For me it was a nightmare because I never talked to anyone at all. At lunch I would eat by myself, in physical education I would just stand there like a bump on a log because I knew noone wanted to team up with me. So fuck high school and fuck school itself.
However, after I thought about it, I decided to look pass it and look at it as a new world of school. I mean this isn’t human school, so it could be different and since what I have been through, I’m surly I can survive it.

I mean, I did of course that’s how I am to get this out to you and shit, but it was ok I suppose. Nevertheless, the hippie ponies thing is another story…which surprisingly I will talk about now instead of later. Well, they’re fucking hippies what the fuck do you expect. They think that they are deep, it’s all about love and peace and flowers and shit like that.

The only thing they get right is the weed smoking. I mean the weed smoking is the thing to go nowadays. I mean, it’s so good, and it’s not illegal in Equestria. I just love me some good ol’ weed. Of course perhaps I am over reacting that they’re not hippies, but just normal college students that they think they’re deep.

Well they’re hippies that way, because they’re deep. Also, I should mention that there was a small part of the school that Celestia didn’t mention but it exists. It’s only because it didn’t relate to me so that’s why she never said it.

The part she left out is that there is a small building off campus that teaches small colts and fillies about magic, sort of like an elementary and middle school for kids, while this campus is like college or high school.

Well, it’s more like college since there’s dorm rooms and shit, along with a curfew as well. Why am I telling you this part now, because that means the kids are hippy kids. I’m pretty sure, even though I never saw it, but I’m willing to bet that they’re hippies as well. I’m pretty sure of it…don’t judge me.

Well, anyways aside from why I was ranting about school, after I yelled enough, I got so angry my horn started to glow an aurora around it, in which I accidently casted a spell that I had no idea what it was. All it was just a small ball of light that bounced all over the room.

When I saw this, I was shocked and just followed the ball wherever it bounced. It went off the walls and the books, as well as the floor and everything else. It was basically like flubber…except without the annoying Robin Williams and fake CGI 90’s flubber to annoy everyone.

Well, after it bouncing for a few seconds, it then somehow was able to hit Wolf, and keep in mind he was still sleeping. When it hit him, it hit him really hard and the force was strong enough to push him out of the bed. It even woke him up from his little shitty Timber Wolf dream about Timber Wolf shit. When Wolf was hit, he flew back a few feet, but not hitting the wall though. After he flew back, he was on the ground for a few seconds, until he slowly got up.

He then said…and yes, I said the word said, “Awe….why the fuck you have to do that Knight!? You could have at least woke me up before you started to cast magic and shit! I think you fucking broke my back and shit! Mother fucker that hurts like a mother fucker! I was having a nice little dream about raping a pony when all of a sudden you wake me up with a spell of yours! Well at least it didn’t kill me, but I don’t give a fuck. I just want to go back to my dreams of humping an elephant.”

Wolf then slowly walked into his bed while I had shocked eyes that he talked. And the way he talked was that he sounded like Brain Griffin from Family Guy. He really did sound like the dog and all and he really did.

However, instead of being a douchebag, he sounded like an asshole. So you know…that’s some good news right there. After Wolf had walked back to his bed, he went into a curled up position, which is how he usually sleeps, and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

Then after those few seconds were up, he then said to me, “I’m talking aren’t I? You can hear every word that I say and I can hear the words that I say instead of nodding my head up and down like a fucking animal?”

I then said while nodding my head slowly up and down very calmly, “Yup, that sounds like what’s happening now Wolf. That and apparently you mastered the English language in that spell that I somehow casted.”

Wolf then was silent for a few seconds until he said, “This is the most amazing advancement in unicorn magic and we’re calmly not doing anything or acting anything special like a normal pony would.”

I then said as a response to Wolf, “Well we have done things that a normal pony hasn’t even done before so that’s a reason we can go by. That and we kind of don’t give a fuck what really happens. I mean if Equestria were to enter a nuclear war tomorrow, we wouldn’t act any different because we don’t give a fuck…and we just want to have a good time.”

Then Wolf said to me, “Agreed.”

We were then even more silent for a few seconds until Wolf said while having his eyes still closed, “Maybe we should show the princesses of Equestria that I can talk and you made a spell to make it happen. Especially since I am somehow having all knowledge of Equestrian history right in my brain even though I was raised in a forest with a bunch of incest pricks.”

I then stood there, thinking about the incest until I asked, “Sooooooooo…you father did your sister and…”

Then Wolf cut my off and said, “It was a huge orgy and I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe we should go now.”

I then said to Wolf, “Yeah let’s go.”

Then I started to head for the door while Wolf got straight out of his bed quickly and tried to catch up to me…which he did in a way. We then opened the door, went through the spiral staircase, and went through the school grounds.

Until we realized that we could use that little path that Celestia and Luna said we could use, so we headed up to the middle and used the path way, which the guards then permitted us to past through. They even gave directions to where Celestia and Luna were at.

I suppose that Celestia and Luna had told the guards to give me directions to the dining area just in case I changed my mind.

Well, let us just say I have the worse table manners so it would not have happened even if I had changed my mind.

I mean I do have table manners now although that’s a different story, but back then it wasn’t good. Anyways, we were let into the castle like I said and was given directions to get to the dining area of the castle, and we had to take left turns, right down, go down some steps, go through a dungeon.

Then we had to get a key, fight a dragon, help a wizard out and…sorry, let me explain real quick. Apparently all of that stuff that I said is what the castle has but mysteriously no pony knows of its existence.

That and while we were taking the simple directions to get to the dining room, me and Wolf got off track and we went on a whole adventure that involved saving a princess from a dragon, found a treasure chest filled with gold. We fought some goblins and fought the goblin king as well.

We even saw some stop motion animated skeletons and fought a hydra. We even had to fight a freaking Cyclops…and yes…I said freaking for once. Are you happy now mom!?

No wait…you’re burning in hell right now….well that’s what you deserve you bitch tits. Anyways, we even somehow got out of the castle, went into some dark and deep woods, and fought some monsters there as well. That and we also did every Dungeon, dragon game ever does…, and I do mean everything.

Well, after those long and dreaded hours of trying to level up our experience points, but strangely enough we were only gone for a few minutes….go figure I guess….and we finally reached the dining area.

The guards also let us pass without a problem and when we entered the dining room, it was pretty nice I should say for the first time looking at it. There was candles, the rooms decorations seemed fitting for the type of style it was in and the table cloth was white as snow and had plates of silver and gold.

Actually, I have no idea what the plates were made out of, it could’ve been made out of plastic by some Asian kid ponies in another country that only did it for two bits. I mean Celestia and Luna do have the power to do such a thing so maybe that’s what the plates are made out of instead of silver and gold.

Maybe it was diamonds or bronze, no one knows, although I could’ve asked them but I didn’t feel like it.

Anyways, I saw on the table that it was filled with food. It was certainly a feast fit for a king…or a princess…or a queen…or a prince…or a douchebag…or even bitches. Maybe it even was fitting for pancake hos and pancake pimps, you know what…know that I think of it, maybe a pancake’s dick would be a nice big sausage.

You know a Nazi style sausage. Although what would pancake tits would be made out of? Maybe huge slaps of whipped cream that you would see at an IHop or a Denny’s.

That actually makes more sense now that I mention it. Anyways, what filled the table was…anything that a pony would eat…in other words shit that wasn’t meat. I mean these ponies do not eat meat…well I take that back.

Spike eats meat, but only because he’s a dragon, while Pinkie Pie also eats meat but she’s special…she breaks the laws of physics. Not only to mention that she’s pink and maybe even the meaning of life.

Well, other than that I can recall from ponies eat, there is an exception for Pegasus and Alicorns that they do eat fish…except it’s fish from the fucking sky. I wonder how high you would have to see until you see flying fish.

Well it’s not really flying fish but flying fish as in that are in lakes in the clouds. Well apparently Pegasi eat them, along with Alicorn, but Celestia and Luna weren’t eating them, but only because they were too good for lower class food.

Anyways, it was filled with as I said anything that isn’t meat, although for an idea would be like hay, steamed vegetables, mashed potatoes, sugary treats of delight, gravy, shit like that. There was even some dandelion sandwiches and some soup I suppose.

Although that sandwich thing is that, I made that one up, there wasn’t any of that, but ponies do eat though. But there was no hay, as I said, they want high class type of food but the other shit I wasn’t lying about.

Although I do wonder why the ponies eat a lot of sugar, you would think they would get debates and fat as shit by now, but yet they’re perfectly fine and healthy…as a horse. I’m sorry, but that pun had to be made.

It gave me a threat that if I didn’t make a pun, I would get shot by the pun king. Please send help if you can…no wait…you’re in another universe…and I offended you guys…well fuck you guys. Although seriously though, you would think they would die, but sadly nope. I actually did try to study this and the pony anatomy later in the future, and the best I can come up with in theory, and keep in mind in theory is that these ponies rather need sugar to survive…as in sugary treats, cupcakes, and shit like that. If they don’t get enough they can either get diabetes, fall into a comma, or die even, but only in rare cases.

I’m not entirely sure if it’s correct or not. I tried looking up in medical books about the pony body but yet there’s nothing in it stating that kind of stuff, but yet I found some interesting things that relate to the ponies needing sugar.

So really I can’t tell, but I can say for one thing that they don’t have a level to exceed their sugar, as in they can eat tons of sugar without getting fat or getting diabetes.

So you know…good for them, but that’s basically what was on the table. Oh yeah, we were talking about that. Well, we entered the room and as we were taking in the sights of the room itself because it’s like a tourist attraction or something, we were walking towards Celestia and Luna who were about to have their deserts, because apparently they had finished eating and were going to pick up everything else.

You know, so they don’t waste food and look like a bunch of assholes you know. It’s very good for their image and so no pony tries to start a revolution of some sort.

Well, as we came close to them, they both start to notice us walking towards them, in which Celestia then had a smile on her face and she told me, “Knight, I suppose you changed your mind? Well, you are not too late; there is still plenty of food left. It is a little cold, but still has some warmness to it. You can just pull up a chair and help yourselves; I was just about to have my slice of cake. I rarely get to have it sense I am trying to lose weight so I can only have it once a month.”

Weird, I guess Celestia doesn’t know what the pony body is capable of in this universe, but I don’t blame her. Her job is to be a ruler, a leader to a country and to make fair laws and make sure no one is unhappy, not to be a doctor and to be smart and shit with the pony anatomy.

Well, I then told her, “Yeah that’s not why I’m here Celestia. Granted I am a bit starving so I might take some of those cupcakes to go, along with some fine wine if you don’t mind.”

Celestia then looked at me a bit weird but then said to me, “Well I can see what I can do for you Knight. Now why are you here to see me?”

I then explained to her, “Well, not too long ago, like less than thirty minutes or so, I kind of casted a spell onto Wolf.”

Celestia then asked me, “Well, do you know what spell you casted it on him? Did the spell harm your friend Wolf in any way?”

Then Wolf spoke up and said, “I can fuck talk bitch, there, I said it before any long and dragged out and boring conversation could happen.”

I have to admit, Wolf had a point. We were about to enter a long ass conversation that was going to be boring as shit. Then again, I felt like what Wolf said was a threat to me, but I decided to lower my weapons down and just keep an eye on him.

Wolf always looked suspicious to me. Maybe…..he’s a secret spy of the soviets! No wait, he doesn’t have a funny American Stereotype accident whenever he talks, and he’s not banging a hot Russian blonde chick as well so that makes more sense to me.

Although, I still need to keep an eye on him. Well anyways, once Celestia heard Wolf’s words that came out of his loud ass mouth, Celestia and Luna were…let’s say shocked beyond belief.

As if, learning that a Timber Wolf can talk changed everything for them. As if it changed their views upon the universe and that life itself is a meaningless purpose. As if the world we know doesn’t exist because one Timber Wolf talked that wasn’t suppose to talk.

As if they believe now that the world is coming to an end and will cease to exist! That our life has been nothing but a mere instance in time and space throughout the universe was a waste of time!

That we should abandon all hope and dreams and try to find safety as this universe comes to an end, as if there was an answer that we’ve been asking ourselves everyday like what’s the meaning of life and our answer has been answered and that was because Wolf opened his mouth and talked!

That his words were the answer to everything and all the questions in the universe, and now that we have nothing left to question we are to suffer the mere boredom we endure at this very moment, and we will blow our brains out in front of our little children eyes and make them watch while doing so.

Or………………..maybe I’m looking too deep into this subject. Maybe they were just stunned that Wolf could talk and that was it and the holocaust and abortions never existed.

Well, when Wolf talked, Celestia and Luna had their jaws drop to the floor, as if it was their first time seeing a talking animal and shit like that. Well, Celestia then tried her best to say something but she was surprised that she couldn’t properly form a word and hesitated a bit.

Well, eventually she said to me, “Knight, did your friend Wolf…just talked in front of us?”

I then stared at the two princesses with a neutral expression and said, “Yeah, that’s pretty much how things are right now. That’s pretty much what it looks like what just happened.”

Celestia then slowly formed a smile across her face and she said to me, “Why…Knight…this is the most amazing thing we ever have heard. In the history of magic, or at least I assume it was magic, that we have ever saw a spell that has an effect that made an animal species talk.”

Then Luna joined in and she said, “Yes, I have never seen anything like it before my very eyes. I have seen it however in most of our loyal subject’s dreams, but this is incredible and revolutionary! This could change magic and how we look upon it!”

Celestia then finished off the excitement with her question, “Knight, what spell did you use specifically to make Wolf talk?”

I then hesitated once more and told her, “Well…that’s the thing…I don’t exactly know what spell I used.”

I then saw Luna’s and Celestia’s smiles slowly melt away and turn into frowns, “I mean, I’m not sure at all. All I did was say a few things and I somehow made the spell happen. That and when it did it bounced around the room a bit until it hit wolf, so I have no clue whatsoever how I made the spell work.”

Celestia then sat there in her spot and put a hoof to her chin as she thought about what I said. She eventually said, “Well……from what you have said to us, it sounds like that you have created a new spell, which is obviously what it is at the moment. Unless of course there was a spell that could make this happen and it was unknown to us, however, can you recall the words that you said right before the spell was casted?”

I then saw Luna grab out a piece of paper and a quill so she could be ready to write down the spell and possibly keep it within the archives.

The both of them then waited for my answer; however, there was nothing but silence. I was sure they didn’t want to hear what I said about the students being hippies along with the school being a bunch of douchebags and all.

However I had to say something so I said, “Well…I kind of forgot….but I do remember I said something hippies.” I then stared at them and waited for their reply. However, they looked weird at me until Luna asked, “May we ask what are these hippies you speak of dear Knight?”

I then was about to say something until Wolf cut in and said, “An annoying animal that we found in the Everfree forest that is really annoying to be around and have drumming circles now and then. Now let us never speak of these abominations ever again. In fact, let us never bring up this conversation ever again. Now that we have pretended that we just came, we are going to take this food and wine back to our room and no pony will say a single word.”

As we were all had our eyes on wolf, Wolf then proceeded to take a plate filled with cupcakes, along with putting some bread butter onto the plate as well onto it.

And as he was walking away from me, he then turned his head slightly to me and said as best as he could with his mouth full with the plate, “Knight, grab the wine so we can get drunk tonight. And bring some candles as well, I feel like burning things tonight.”

I understood what Wolf said to me, but since Wolf’s words were rather muffled up, the princesses were confused. Soon, they asked me, “Knight, what did your friend Wolf say to you just now?”

I then said, “Uh…he said that…that he wants me to…”

I then had a blank mind on what to say, so I just ended up quickly taking the wine and candle with my magic and quickly ran for the door. As I was running for the door as no guard tried to stop us, I said to Wolf, “Quick Wolf…Run! Take what you can carry!”

Then we ran like hell out of the castle and went back to our room, as Luna and Celestia sat there pondering in their heads as to what the fuck just happened. Well, we ended back in our room and we had a bit of a feast.

We had some fine wine while we had some bread and nice slippery butter to go along with it. The cupcakes was also quite nice and it filled our stomachs up quite a bit. So much that Wolf was out of it and fell asleep in his bed after we had eaten everything on the plate.

Well, except for Wolf wasting half of the wine because as he said he wanted to get drunk and set things on fire…which we did. Although we got drunk while setting a piece of paper on fire and throwing it to one of the classrooms, which kind of caught on fire, but strangely enough didn’t make the school catch on fire though. It only means that the school is a witch, which means we should burn just like those good ol’ which trials from earth.

I mean, I’ve experienced them before because I kind of went back in time to see it and I enjoyed burning those bitches. It felt so great fun and I wanted to do it again.

Now that I have excuses to burn something, I want to do it even more. Now, aside from that thing we will never speak of again, once Wolf fell asleep, I picked up the plate and wine bottle and put it near the door to the castle on that little intersection, because I didn’t want the plate to be ruined and the princesses to be mad at me.

Besides, there’s no EBay around to sell it on so it’s completely useless to me. After I did that, instead of heading back to my room, I went down into the square like area on the west side of the school.

I walked through the area to get to the middle and I simply went to the little river the flowed through the center. I even went to the little bridge and stopped right in the middle.

I then proceeded to look at the sky and I saw that the stars were out that night and the moon was full and bright as well. I then stared up at the sky and started to think. Of all of the adventures I had in my past, through the space universe and the space dragon, through the dark universe with it’s tar like substance.

Through the depths of the Wolf universe, and of the skies of the dragon universe, as well as the mythical universe as well.

Even when I went through hell and back in stopping TF from erasing me from history and gathering old friends from my memory’s past and fought and evil ruler of the anime universe, or at least the names that I like to call these universes that is. I do have names for these that are more appropriate or scientific, but it’s not fun.

Anyways, I have been through so much, even fighting the United States government and destroying Project Portal, this is where it ends for me, as what I thought at the time.

I mean, I was just supposed to retire in this universe, quit my job and enjoy life as much as I can as I always wanted to do, granted I have been doing so with the universes and all, but a good time where I can get drunk and not worry about the consequences of tomorrow.

Where I can be free and do what I please. However, as I stood there, looking up at the sky and felt like someone was watching over me, I had a feeling that my adventure wasn’t just the beginning, it wasn’t coming to an end, but that of a story that has not reached a climax yet.

But that of a story of a life that has still a long ways to go before it ever ends peacefully. As if there was still more to my life left that, I had to experience, and to be honest with you, that feeling disappointed me, but yet something told me that I was going to be happy because of it, as long as I made the right choice at the right time that is.

However, I stood there, and wondered about those people who hated my stuff I did for the Brony fandom and thought I wasn’t even trying and was nothing.

That I couldn’t amount to anything in life, I then thought, ‘They should look at me now. I’m living the dream mother fuckers. I’m living it, I’m in Equestria and have met Celestia…twice that is although I don’t want to remember those painful memories that I have.

But they don’t know what I’m doing, that they don’t know what I have been doing with my life. One guy online even thought I was trying to improve my stuff and perhaps is thinking that I am just busy with a job perhaps, but they don’t know what I have done, and they never will.

I hope they burn and die. I hope they all rot in the ground one day and die…and I do mean all of the fandom…except for the creator of course, for she has nothing to do with this. Why am I thinking inside my head again? What time is it anyway…I think I need to go to bed for tomorrow morning and shit. Well, judging by the position of the moon, it looks like my curfew is almost up…fuck it….I don’t want to piss off Celestia. I think I already pissed her off with the food thing tonight.’

I then started to head back to my dorm room so I could get some rest. Although, before I headed back, I took three steps towards my dorm room before I stopped.

I couldn’t shake off the feeling that as I felt that someone was watching me, above from the heavens. However instead of having that weird and creepy feeling that a pervert or priest is watching me, and possibly thinking about molesting me in a dirty white van with Michael Jackson in it, I felt that I was safe.

That I was secured and felt like I was also loved. It is that feeling that only once or twice anyone or anypony would feel in life. A feeling of comfort within their heart, as their heart soars and feels like nothing can stop it.

Sort of like a smile that you would see only three times in your life, a smile that you feel comfort and warm. That a smile of a smile that says that everything will be fine and that there is nothing to worry about in life.

To be quite honest with you I felt good about that feeling, for I have not felt that feeling in so long, a feeling that I wished I had felt long ago. It felt like a feeling that I should have gotten as a child during my younger years.

A feeling of comfort as to not worry about the future and everything will be all right and I can just go to sleep without any fears in my mind. A feeling that tells me whenever I had nightmares as a child, someone would be there to tell me it’s ok and to just dream a better dream and they’ll be there when I wake up.

A feeling of hope in my heart that the feeling will forever continue to go on until time stops in its tracks and fades away forever. I felt like I wished I had this feeling as a child, something that my parents could not even give me. Either it was that they never thought about it, they were too busy within their daily lives to do so, or they simply never had the heart due to their human nature.

However, I feel like I am lost, that my soul is forever lost without that feeling inside me, that feeling of being safe and happy for once, where I can truly be happy. I mean, through all of my adventures, in the past, I never felt this feeling before.

Sure, I might have destroyed an enemy of mine from the space universe, or killed an enemy’s son of mine or simply make a prophecy come true that was meant to be in some time. I had never felt any happiness or true happiness that is when I went through those universes…although there is an exception with the other MLP universe I went to, but I try my best to keep it in my past as much as I can.

However, whatever it was, I did hope that feeling would come again to me, especially when I needed it most, where it would give me something that I wouldn’t give up hope. A sign where I wouldn’t give up hope at all.

So I then turned my head towards my room and continued until I hit the staircase. In which I then climbed it to the top and opened the door. I then went towards my bed, while Wolf was sleeping like a baby, even though he’s an adult.

Well, I then slowly climbed into my bed, along with my hat, yes I sleep with my hat on at night. I mean, I love my hat dude, I would never take it off unless I’m either high as shit or I’m drunk as shit.

You just don’t take my hat away from me unless I do it myself or a close friend, or else I’ll go berserk on your ass, and I’m not kidding with that. I will kill you or anyone who touches my hat; you fucking leave my hat alone because it’s awesome. It was also given to me as a gift so yeah.

Anyways, I slowly climbed into my bed, with the cold touch of the sheets touching my coat, as my eyes slowly grew heavy by the second to which eventually I closed my eyes and feel asleep.

So I slept through the night and simply waited until my first day at the school…which the first day of school and my entire experience is another story for another time. No really it is, because what I have to tell is like another book within itself and it will take me sometime to even write it.

So we’re just going to skip it for now and come back to the subject one day, but until then we’re just going to skip to the part of my final night at the school.

So then…the final night at the school. I had just finished going on an adventure, and let me tell you the adventures I had in short terms. The adventures that I had were like the Harry Potter adventures, except it was just Wolf and me since I didn’t have any ‘friends’.
Anyways, I had just finished going on an adventure, which was…I don’t know how to explain but an adventure nonetheless and nothing well else to say about it.

I mean I had a bunch of adventures at the school, like going into the forbidden forest, running shit which led to more serious shit, had a Persona 4 moment, found a hidden secret about the school, killed a dragon even, but this one was just…eh.

Anyways, I had just gotten off this eh adventure and I was tired as fuck. I was all messed up as shit as Wolf and I were tired from this eh adventure so of course we wanted to go to straight to bed. Outside everything was calm since we finished this eh adventure and it was all nice.

The animals out in the forest were sleeping calmly and weren’t making a sound for they were at peace. In fact, it felt like that theme song from Bambi for some odd reason whenever you looked upon the quietness of the forest at the time.

Who knows, maybe there was a deer there to kill and a mother got shot by a black guy pony and shit. Then Bambi would rape a doe and Bambi would go on to become Bamler, where he would be like Hitler except he’s a deer and kills all the Jews, because you know, what universe doesn’t have any Jews?

Anyways, the stars were also out and the moon was full as well, like when isn’t it full? No wait, that’s right, whenever Luna is touching herself, is when the moon isn’t full, because she has a hole in her heart that she can’t seem to fill.

Well, we were tired as fuck and we decided to go to bed and sleep off our wounds and shit like that off, even though that wouldn’t work back on earth but for some odd reason we didn’t care at all what happened.

We just wanted to go to bed was all and look forward to the next day.

Well, after a while, just a little over midnight, Wolf had to get up and go take a piss.

Wolf was in his bed until he woke up and he whispered in my ear, “Hey…Knight…I got to go take a huge piss with my dick. Am I allowed to use the bathroom?”

I then whispered back to him which is something everyone wants to hear from somebody, “I’ll cut you if you dare take a step in that bathroom Wolf.”

Then Wolf then said to me, “Come on, I promise I won’t mess anything up this time around.”

I then said, “That’s what you said the last time. And last time when that happened, a giant mutant crab was made and Civil War happened at the school, in which three hundred thousand ponies died. I even had to convince Celestia that it was a Jew, which she didn’t have any ideas what a Jew was so I blamed it on a retarded rabbit that had nothing to do with anything. In fact, he was innocent and all, and even sometimes tried to help other animals out when in need.

All I did was make him talk and made him say things that convinced her that it was him that started the war with robots and giant mutant crabs. Then strangely enough he got beheaded by a cow later on when they broke into the prison dungeon. I don’t even know where the cow came from or why he hated the rabbit, but I end up getting high and drunk if I do try to think about it. In other words Wolf, go fuck off and die.”

I then turned my head away from Wolf and went back to sleep, in which Wolf got up and went outside to take a piss with his Timber Wolf dick. Well, he went down the steps and went into the square like area, on the west side of the school, in which he found a nice large tree to take a piss on.

So he then went towards it and started to let one out, in which he saw a guard that was standing by, which was also a friend of his. He then said to the guard, “Oh hey Kick, how you’re doing on this fine night of…shit?”

Kick then said, “Well I’m doing fine, how about you?”

Then Wolf said back to him, “Well I’m clearly taking a piss obviously.”

Then there was silence for a while until Wolf said, “You know what, one day you, me, and lick over there have to go out one night and get drunk at a bar.”

Then Kick said, “Well, sure I suppose, but I have a family and all, along with a job I have at night, so it would do so much. Hey Lick Can…can you go out and get drunk one night?”

Then Lick walked over and joined the conversation, in which he said, “Nope, I have night school to go to.”

Then Wolf got pissed off by this and he then said to them both, “Oh come on! Not you too…do I have to kidnap you two again and force you to do shit that are illegal?”

Then Kick said, “Well, maybe, but maybe we should report you to the princess. I mean we did see you start that civil war not too long ago with the giant mutant crab. That and you did turn everypony at the school into a zombie, which we promised not to tell.”

Yeah. That turning everypony into a zombie…is actually is a long and funny story that I am not particular proud of but it’s an interesting one. I almost even killed Celestia and Luna for as well but like I said, long and funny story for another time.

Well after Wolf was reminded of a mistake that we did before, he had a look on his face said he was annoyed by it. Then Kick continued, “So I suggest you don’t ask us to go and get drunk with you, but instead keeping the place normal for a while. We kind of do deserve a break from all of your crap that you’ve been doing lately.”

Then Wolf said as he was finishing up, “Fine then…have it your way then! I’ll just go into the castle and randomly walk around in anger and shit!”

Yeah…that last part I’m not sure why wolf randomly went into the castle, but I think the universe had something to do with it…but I’m not so sure though.

Well, anyways, he was randomly walking through it, and somehow got pass the guards because at the time of night, the guards had orders from the princesses to not have any pony disturb them.

Perhaps Wolf walked right passed them since he is an animals and crawls on all fours. You know, just like a midget, I mean they can get into area fifty-one that way if they did that. Too bad their natural predator is rattlesnakes in the desert.

It would be really great to see some alien pictures from that place but oh well, that’s life. Anyways, Wolf was in a hallway, which just happened to be near the room where Celestia and Luna were holding their conference at the time.

Well Celestia and Luna were in her room, discussing plans.

While that was happening, Wolf was walking back and forth in the hallway, mumbling to himself, “Fucking bullshit…can’t believe they won’t go and get drunk with me at a bar…wasn’t my fault that giant mutant crab destroyed the school…it was that midget’s fault…fucking blackmailing son of a bitches.”

Then as he was quiet for about a few seconds and not cursing up a storm, Wolf overheard Celestia say my name, which got him very interested in what they were talking about.

Celestia and Luna were in the room with the door locked, so Wolf went up quietly towards the door and held his ear up to it and tried his very best to hear what they had to say about me.

When he did so, Luna asked Celestia, “How do you even know that it’s really him? He could be just a pony that acts like that way. I have seen this many of times before in the past, you could be just being mislead dear sister.”

Then Celestia said to her, “I am sure that he is the one. Knight is the one to solve all of this. Knight is the missing piece of the group. Listen to me little sister of mine, ever since that day when he returned to the school, the one that we banished from for all of eternity, I knew it was really him. At first when I saw the signs, I was not sure either Luna. However the more that I saw him, the more that he was tested against his will to fight, he was fitting the last piece of the puzzle that we need.

Ever since that night that he saved the school, I have been sure ever since that he is the one that is left. I have been searching for him for years, and I could only find five out of the six. However, now that I see him, see that he is strong, to see that his will cannot be broken easily, that he can be remain strong and tall no matter what he is tested through, he is the one that we have been searching for all this time. He can beat her when she arrives after tomorrow.”

Then there was silence for a few seconds until Luna asked, “Sister, what if…what if he cannot beat her. What if you are wrong and he fails to save us all from her wrath? What will happen then?”

Then there was some silence until Celestia said, “I do not know what will happen then. We could try with all of our might to beat her, but I am afraid her powers have grown ever since that day I put her there on that moon. However, I do have great confidence in Knight that he can defeat her.

Besides, I have been meaning to do this for him anyways, although I just have not had any time to plan this out for Knight. We can at least both agree that Knight does not have too many friends, which was my original plan was to send him to Ponyville and make friends there just like what Twilight did, as I see he lacks the skill of socializing just like what Twilight had years ago.

So in other words, it will also be good for him, and I do know he will have much fun with them as well, even if he does not succeed in his task. But if we end up defeating her for good, he will still be there for he does need to learn the magic of friendship though.

However, if he does complete his task, then not only will he learn the magic of friendship, but he will be part of the prophecy as well. It would also mean that whenever a major threat comes to Equestria, that not even the Elements of Harmony cannot fight against, at least we will have them as a back up to save us all.

However, I do hope this prophecy is a good one and does not have death at the end of it, for the prophecy is lost and cannot be found. All that I know is from a small piece of paper that the creator of the protection elements left it in his journal before he died.
Unfortunately however, I cannot find the rest of it, but somewhere he found it, but sadly the location of its hiding place died along with him that night. I do wish I had known this was for coming, for then I would have helped him out with creating the elements instead of him wasting his entire life, not talking to anypony else, nor resting until it was complete.

I remember on his deathbed he told me, ‘Equestria is forever safe, as long as he follows his path.’ I do not know what those words mean, nor did I that night as he fell ill to his sickness that he died from long ago.

However, I do believe it has something to do with Knight, and I do hope he does what he needs to do. Anyways, this is the map of the town where Knight will stay at, along with the files of which the ponies Knight will meet.

These ponies are also part of the team as well, and they all seem to be clean so hopefully all will be well in the end. This is also the list to give to Wolf later tomorrow so when Knight goes around to check on these ponies, he will have a list and a place to go at as well.

I should also mention if he does end up ganing enough knowledge and wisdom, he could become an alicorn, a prince of Equestria.”
Then there was a pause until Luna asked something of Celestia, “What is this file what here may I ask sister? I believe I have seen this gentlecolt somewhere before.”

Then Celestia responded with, “Yes…that’s one of the old Cantorlot scientists. He is no longer among the land of the living unfortunately, but I am sure he is in our mother’s heavenly grace and is enjoying the afterlife. His name was Arctic Aurora and was the lead scientists and one of the projects many years ago that is cancelled. Only to take precautions for many lives were taken the last time it was experimented on.

He was doing a project called ‘Project contact.’ He believed and even gave me solid evidence that there existed a world beyond our own that we could not reach by normal means of anything. He said that we could make contact with this other world, in which he was successful in his experiment, but unfortunately it unleashed monsters that killed them all. Thankfully enough he was able to get them to go all back into the portal but he soon died after he did so.”

Then Luan asked, “Well, that’s the thing, I somehow remember him a few nights ago. I even saw him in my chambers before, but he somehow disappeared. I do wonder if I was seeing things that night or it was his ghost. Although he did say to me that one day a pony of a blue coat and mane as black as night with a hat of black coal atop his head will save us all and will be our downfall. Although I do believe I was seeing things that night.”

Celesita then said, “Well, I do suppose you could be seeing things, since when souls move on to the afterlife, they cannot return to the land of the living…unless mother uses a specific spell that only she can use. Although it takes a lot out of her if she does uses it, but I’m sure you just saw something, even if it was just a warning about the future. Now enough talk sister, we must rest and pray tomorrow will be good and that Knight can save us all. It is also time for us to go to bed and rest our weary eyes for once.”

Then Wolf heard the royal sisters coming towards the door, so he hid behind a vase as the two opened the door. They then walked passed them although I’m not sure why Celestia was not going to stay in her own room unless…oh…oh…OH…I see what they were doing.

They were going to get it on…they were going to do it all night long. I see those two lovers were going to try and get it on…or maybe perhaps something more sinister. I don’t really know actually, I’m just looking too deep into these things nowadays.

Maybe they were lesbian inbred that were doing it in Luna’s bed, which strikes me a curious look on my face right now as I’m writing this because I’m wondering what it would be like to see those two get it on all night long. I don’t know but I do wonder…then again I do wonder why Half-Life three was never made, so I guess my curiosity is all over the place.

That and the sinister part, I’ll let that guy who wrote cupcakes handle that part. Unless… be right back.

A FEW HOURS LATER…

Ok what I found was that in an alternate universe where it was more sinister would be that Luna and Celestia had a little secret.
You see, this alternate universe contains Luna having a secret room hidden in her room itself, where they have kidnapped many kids from Cantorlot. In which they slowly tortured them, take out their eyeballs and sticks knives in their empty eye sockets just to irritate them. That happened while Celestia sets kids on fire at random and pours gasoline over them as well and makes them eat their parent’s skin and organs as they rape them as well.

Then they do that while having classical music play all over this while they use a lawn mower to cut some of them up, and kill them…and in the end, they hunt and kidnap more children for their blood orgy has they rape the dead bodies. I have to admit…that was an interesting universe that I stumbled upon.

Anyways, what really happened in the real universe was…still I have no fucking clue. They could be doing more paper work for all I care. Well, after Celestia and Luna was not in sight, Wolf went into Celestia’s room, found the map and files to her plans that has to deal with me, grabbed them with his mouth and went back to the room.

However, as he was about to exit Celestia’s room, he said to himself, “I do wonder how none of the guards saw me coming in to this place. I do wonder how they never saw me. Maybe I am a ghost and I died on my way over here? Or maybe…no pony exists at all and they’re just a figment of my imagination...”

Then Wolf had wide eyes and a curious look upon his face. The next thing you know he’s in the dome room on the west side of the school, because apparently the west side is cool and shit.

Well, he goes over to the dorm room where Wolf and I know a pony that is at the school, and slowly arose to the top bunker of the bedroom.
From there Wolf then had a s
illy little look on his face and slapped the pony, in which the pony woke up and he yelled at Wolf, “Ow! Wolf what the fuck did you do that for? I was sleeping and having a good dream about doing a mare and now you ruined it…you fucker!”

Then Wolf asked him very quietly, “Are you a figment of my imagination?”

Then the pony said, “No you fucking dumbass! Get the hell out of my room…now!!”

Then Wolf got the hell out of there and headed straight for our room at the tower place thing. When he did so, he climbed the stairs and he opened the doors. Once he did that, he then ran straight to me, and woke me up.

He did so by shaking me until I said, “I thought I told you to go fuck off and die Wolf. How come you haven’t fucked off and die yet? You released an army of mutant Elvis Presley’s?”

Then Wolf said to me, “No, although I was planning on to as an April Fools joke for the school but that’s not important right now. As I was on my way back to come over here from after taking my piss, I overheard Celestia and Luna planning something for you.

They say that they will send you to a town and try to make friends. I have the map of the town and the files they have they expect you to meet tomorrow. And I also slapped one of our friends so yeah…he’s mighty pissed off tonight…Knight…you see what I did there Knight?”

I then got up and I told Wolf, “Typical Wolf. Give me those papers.”

Then Wolf did, although it was rather crumbled from being in Wolf’s mouth but still in fine condition. I then used my horn and had a light come on from the tip of my horn so I could read the papers that I was given.

After I scanned through the files and shit, I then said to Wolf, “Well shit then…my suspicions are true then…history is repeating itself…but instead for Twilight it’s for me. Well then, I’ll worry about this tomorrow…now go fuck off and die Wolf.”

Then Wolf said to me, “Go fuck off and die to you too buddy.”

Then he got into his bed and we slept through the night…except for me that night.

I actually wanted him to go fuck off and die and sadly, he didn’t. Anyways, that seems to be a good stopping point for right now.

Next Time:
Knight: I have spent a few good long years at Celestia’s school, especially when I was her personal student. However, I am ordered by her to go out and make friends in a town called Stalia, which I meet, by there is a reason why I do meet them.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 3: The Bitch in the Sun

IMPORTANT NOTE: So this is very important to note...so hopefully you are reading this..and if not...well can't do anything about...can I? So...with the next few episodes...as a fair warning...it's not very good.

Now what do I mean by that you may ask? Well...you see a long time ago these episodes were written...and long story short they were terrible...well maybe not terrible...but it certainly needs some work. Especially like with Episode 1-3, which needed a re-write. So with that being said...Episodes 1-3 are good... But onward...well...there's your problem...

What I'm trying to say is...until I get around to it...expect episode 4-20.5 to have a certain quality to them that you may or may not like. Not saying you shouldn't read it. You should still give it a go...just don't expect it to have the same standards as the episodes you have just read...go into it with low expectations and be prepared to see my own stupidity from years ago.

Not that these next episodes are going to have a re-write...you're insane if you think I'm going to do that for 4-20.5..instead I'll just re-edit them, clean up the words a little bit...add some more details...however I must note that it's going to be a while before these re-edits do happen...which is why I say you should go ahead and keep reading because...you're going to be waiting a long while before I get to the re-edits...

But I will say this for you guys going into it... Even though they may not be as good as episodes 1-3...I still like them...as they have something more simple to them. Yeah some of it's stupid as you'll find out when you read it...assumingly that is...but...you will see it's simple and in a way in it's own little world that you might be able to appreciate...it just needs to have a little bit more added to it along with a clean up...in which case...here's a little promo...

Link to Promo for Re-edits...
The Remastered Edits

So other than that...I hope you enjoy the rest of the episodes that I have out so far...

I just wanted to make sure you guys are aware of what is going on so you won't be confused or upset or anything like that...

So thanks...and have a good day...

~TMG/Bob Tom...

So I have SLOWLY started the re-edit process, and just so you know.
So far here are the episodes that have been completed:
Episode 10

That is all for now...

IMPORTANT NOTE: So this is very important to note...so hopefully you are reading this..and if not...well can't do anything about...can I? So...with the next few episodes...as a fair warning...it's not very good.

Now what do I mean by that you may ask? Well...you see a long time ago these episodes were written...and long story short they were terrible...well maybe not terrible...but it certainly needs some work. Especially like with Episode 1-3, which needed a re-write. So with that being said...Episodes 1-3 are good... But onward...well...there's your problem...

What I'm trying to say is...until I get around to it...expect episode 4-20.5 to have a certain quality to them that you may or may not like. Not saying you shouldn't read it. You should still give it a go...just don't expect it to have the same standards as the episodes you have just read...go into it with low expectations and be prepared to see my own stupidity from years ago.

Not that these next episodes are going to have a re-write...you're insane if you think I'm going to do that for 4-20.5..instead I'll just re-edit them, clean up the words a little bit...add some more details...however I must note that it's going to be a while before these re-edits do happen...which is why I say you should go ahead and keep reading because...you're going to be waiting a long while before I get to the re-edits...

But I will say this for you guys going into it... Even though they may not be as good as episodes 1-3...I still like them...as they have something more simple to them. Yeah some of it's stupid as you'll find out when you read it...assumingly that is...but...you will see it's simple and in a way in it's own little world that you might be able to appreciate...it just needs to have a little bit more added to it along with a clean up...in which case...here's a little promo...

Link to Promo for Re-edits...
The Remastered Edits

So other than that...I hope you enjoy the rest of the episodes that I have out so far...

I just wanted to make sure you guys are aware of what is going on so you won't be confused or upset or anything like that...

So thanks...and have a good day...

~TMG/Bob Tom...

So I have SLOWLY started the re-edit process, and just so you know.
So far here are the episodes that have been completed:
Episode 10

That is all for now...

Chapter 4, The Trolling Celestia and the Gala Tickets

Well, guess what, just like in the show, I was helping Mac Farmer buck some apples. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this.

Therefore, of course, since I was a Brony, I knew this was going to be the one where I receive two gala tickets, and I can go with one guess.

By the way, not to get off topic here, but I never understood, that in the show, when they go to the gala, you see them running off, but on the season finale, they go to the gala, and it’s like it’s there first time going there. I have no idea the timeline is for the show, which you think would be very straight forward but no. I don’t know, sometimes, I just wonders things.

So anyway, as I was saying, just I suspected I get a letter from Celestia, and she gives me two tickets to the Gala.

What a trolling bicth. She knows I have five friends, but she still sends me two tickets.

I also know she was planning this, so I could just send a letter to her, what I learned about friendship. Well, I’m one step ahead of her. What I did was go back to what the letter was when twilight sended them, but then replaced and added a view words here and there, so it’s like wrote my own letter and I actually learned something. In fact, I have them all pre- written, so all I have to do is sent the right one, and do nothing else.

Anyway, just like in the show, Rainbow Dash was listening, well, so was Forest Fire. He fell down from a cloud, which I still don’t know how we didn’t notice that cloud above us.

Well, if you remember how angry applejack was when rainbow dash was listening in, yea, Mac was well pissed off. He was so furious with Forest, he threatened him, but I found a way to calm him down.

I did it by saying forest had aids, and somehow he believed me, although Forest didn’t hear me, thank Celestia.
Well, I told them the two of them could have it, but they insisted I go, since I did get the letter from Celestia, but here’s the thing.

I don’t give two shits and one flaming fuck about some party, that’s not even a project X party, although I do have to admit, at times I do love a classy party at times, but most of the times, I like a project x one.

Now, if you recall how Twilight was hungry, well, I was hungry too, and the weird thing is, I ate already not too long ago. Either Celestia is doing it or the universe is. I also want to comment on how good the food here is.

As you may have guessed, the ponies are vegetarian, although pegisi do eat fish, and spike does meat as well as pinkie pie, but she’s special. In other words, pinkie Pie logic, just saying.

Anyway, I was walking home to get something to eat, which would have been a dandelion sandwich, which some ponies here eat.

Now I know how humans can’t eat flowers, because, if I can recall, we don’t have a specific gland. Well, I have that gland, but I’m pretty sure it’s because, I followed the rules of the universes.

As I was saying, I was walking home and then Neon Party bumped into me and saw I had a ticket. He then immediately assumed I was going to take him, and thanked me many of times for taking him.

All I can say is, I think he was high. I really do mean it. I saw weed from where he came from, which was the building he worked at. Besides, I was surprised that this universe had drugs, although later I found out it wasn’t illegal, nor was it well known.

So, then Classy Jack came and saw it, and he wanted to go. He said he wanted to go because he thinks he can sell his stuff, there at the Gala, while Neon Party just wants to have a party.

The others had reasons as well.

Forest wanted to meet the wonder bolts, and see Rainbow Dash of course.

Mac wanted to go, so he can outsell applejack, and Arrell wanted to go, because there are animals he hasn’t seen before, so at least the reasons are different, or somewhat different.

Oh, right, and Arrell saw the tickets because he saw Neon Party and Classy Jack.

Well, I told them to fuck off, and yet, they still didn’t hear what I said, although I think I did get a sort of a reaction from Neon Party, but I think he was still high, but I doubt it, because he was singing about going to the gala, like as much as Pinkie did in the episode.

Besides, if he were high while singing, he would’ve been singing slow ride.

Well, I went to the café, and I ordered hay fries, and to be honest with you, they don’t taste that bad, then again, I was a pony then and still now. Well, I had that, while wolf ordered some weird ass soup, which I have forgotten the name of, but still.

Another thing, you know how Twilight yelled at the waiter, because I didn’t. Literally. I didn’t even give a fuck about the tickets, because all I wanted to do was eat something, and then get back to the problem.

So, I did, until everyone ran for cover from the rain, but I frankly didn’t care because it’s hay fries.

it’s not going to get ruined by water, although, wolf was a little pissed off about the soup having rain water added to it, but he just said fuck it and moved on, which I was hoping he finally realized he was made of wood and didn’t need to eat, but yet, he still ate after words.

Seriously, I’m still freaked out that the fact that he’s made out of wood, he eats or even takes a piss for that matter. Then again, I just say to myself, its magic, even though I’m pretty sure it’s something else, but I just pretend it’s just magic.

Anyway, to my not so surprised look, when I found I wasn’t getting rained on, I looked to the skies, and saw Forest sitting there on the clouds.

He just told me how a friend of his souldn’t be out in the raining weather, which I then told him, he could have the ticket.

I remember the joy on his face, he was so happy. It’s sad and a little odd to say it but, he reminds me of Dashie from My Little Dashie, and I don’t really want to talk about it, because every time I think about, I cry so many manly tears.

Moving on, I then told, there was a catch, that he would had to compete with the others, not in a fight for my amusement, but I was going to give the guys the tickets, and let them decide among them who gets to go or not , which would probably end up in all of their deaths.

He then realized what I had said, and closed the cloud on me like a doucebag.

Well, I was just telling him the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts.

Then, what do you know, Classy Jack was right next to me, and offered me to go with him back to his shop.

Just as in the show, he had something for me to wear to the Gala, even though I told him I’m not going, he still managed to say don’t be ridiculous.

Don’t be ridiculous, he says. How about this. Look at the one robot chicken episode; where it had that one skit where it was a little play, and it was called don’t be ridiculous. At the end, now that shit is ridiculous.

However, trust me, I can think of more ridiculous things, like Pinkie slowly floating up from a hole, while crazy shit is happening around her.

As I said before, Pinkie Pie physics, and I wouldn’t ask about if I was you.

So, he made me a nice suit, and I do have to admit, It was pretty cool, because, here’s the thing with me and suits.

It makes you look you know what you’re doing right from the spot, and it also makes you look like an important person, and business man, and it makes it look like you can handle money very well, but just my opinion.

He also made a suit for himself, which rather looked a little bit better than mine, to go to the Gala with me.
Well, since it looked better then mines, although that’s not the reason, the reason is that he thinks he can out do me, but let’s not get into that, and I walked out of the store

. Now, I know you think I’m arrogant, although, let’s be honest here, who isn’t or who hasn’t been arrogant, even if they didn’t show it. Rather reminds me that everybody is a little bit racist song, but I’m not, I just really, really, don’t give a flaming fuck about the Gala tickets.

So anyway, I was tired, and still hungry, cause I was pulled out from my hay fries, so I decided to end this thing once and for all, and demand Celestia give me more tickets to the Gala, by sending her letter.

Unfortunately, I said the word hungry aloud, Mac heard me, and he came up to me with a shit load of apples.

I don’t say this to sound mean, but he fucking applefied every single thing there was. Even sandwiches to hay for Celestia’s sake. How the hell do you even make apples with that. I don’t even understand, unless, it’s a apple family type thing, but still, although the apple pie was quite delicious, but still.

I then tried to run away from him, and wouldn’t you know arrell was in my home, cleaning. In addition, no, he was not singing the MLP theme, but he was telling the animals to clean the place, which I do have to admit, it’s very impressive the way he did. He even made one of his closest animals, which is a bunny,( angels twin?) make me a fucking salad.

Now, I’m not saying there’s nothing wrong with a salad, but why the hell would I give him a ticket to the gala just because he made me salad. If he was trying to do something that would make me take him to the Gala, he would had to do something better to do it.

However, since I don’t care about the Gala, I don’t give a fuck.

Therefore, I just slowly backed up, and what do you know, Neon Party got everyone in town and threw me up and down, saying how great I am, so I can give him the ticket.

Soon, everyone was so shocked what Neon Party said, that they all looked at him, with grins on all their faces. Then they started offering me some lazy exchanges for a ticket to the gala.

Therefore, what do I do, the only thing that was sensible and the only thing that I could think of. Run the fuck away, just like in the episode. Therefore, I ran like hell, and it turned into one of those Scooby doo chases if you can recall from the classic Scooby doo show. Even I was confused I ended in one place, and then on the opposite side. Therefore, I just deiced to teleport me and wolf back home.

We then turned off all the lights, and hoping not to be found.Then, what next came, I find my friends there waiting for me.
However, the important thing is, how the fuck, did they get into my house! I have the place locked up, and they are still inside. I think its Neon Party doing, which I think he can also defy all laws of physics, which note to self, study and stalk him later to find out.

so anyway, then I told everyone I don’t care about the Gala, and they can have the tickets, and then they said they were sorry, and didn’t want the ticket, although, like rainbow dash, forest thought he was going, which I wonder, did any of them heard what I said? Are they deaf? On the other hand, is it the universe refraining me from saying words, that wasn’t proper or doesn’t relate like in the show?

So at this point, I completely gave up, and did what I was trying to do all of this time, sending a letter.
I grabbed out one of the pre- written letters, and just pretended I was writing stuff down. I then placed the two tickets in the letter and sended off.

They did question why I didn’t keep them, but I was so tired of saying it, I just gave up, and a few seconds later, I received a letter from Celestia, with 6 tickets inside.

Therefore, I then gave the guys there tickets. I also gave wolf his ticket as well, cause like I said before, I don’t give a fuck, but then she sended another letter.

It said to give the ticket to wolf as well, and trust me, you can’t burn these tickets. I’ve tried it already. Soon, I just said fuck it and went joined the other guys running off randomly off into the distance.

Chapter 5: the return of TK

You remember how I said how I never got the Gala thing from the show, well; I believe I finally figured it out.

I got the ticket in advanced, but that still doesn’t make sense to me, but remember, it’s My Little Pony, not the reality that we’re used to, or should I say, you guys are used to.

Trust me; I’ll explain it in the future.

Anyway, also, if you remember how I said how I tried to burn the ticket and it didn’t burn at all, and to which I said, it’s a ticket from hell. Ok then, maybe I went too far with that one, but still.

Well, good news, I found a way to burn it. It just took me sometime in the basement.

Oh yea, I forgot to mention this part of my house.

Ok, so when I moved in, I had a basement, however, it wasn’t that big, so I manually made one myself, with all the high tech technology, even far more advanced than your guys technology. Literally, it’s all computer and shit. It’s also access through a secret pad code I hide in the wall, or in other words, you know what, never mind. It’ll take too long to explain.

What I do down there is research ways to cure dieses, and I even have a cure for cancer, surprisingly. I don’t know if it works or not, because, if you remember I said I was immune to all diseases. I also found ways to turn me into a Pegasus, an Earth Pony, and even an Alicorn. Trust me, it was hard, but I got plenty of the stuff. I also make my own weapons, and study other shit that’s scientific.

I also have a secret hidden safe, which holds the most important of all items. One thing is The Knight suit.

Now, if you recall, how I said that TK is dead, and now is the new devil, and how TK has the suit he used to wear. Good news for me, I get to keep it and use it. However, I never used it then, because I wasn’t ready to use it yet, although I was trained in it. Besides, I only used it for emergencies. It’s because the knight suit is very strong.

I also have the book where I write down all the spells I made myself, or my own written magic. I also have some of my old journals, because , you see, before I came to the official MLP universe, I had written down all the different universe culture and many adventures I had through them as well.

I also have a way to get to the portal, which is in a cave, to get outside of the universe.

Anyway, as I was saying about the ticket, I found a way to burn my ticket with one of my inventions, and it burned like a mother fucker.

Now, just to make Celestia not suspicious of me when the Gala happens, I sent her a letter, telling how I lost my tickets and I will not be able to go to the Gala.

In addition, just to let you know, from what I know about the Gala tickets, once you loose one, you will not receive another one, until the following one.

Unfortunately, I was a fucking idiot, and forgot I was sending a letter to princess Celestia, the one who could do anything.

Go on guess. Guess what the fuck happened. I want you to guess, as a response.

Another fucking ticket!

In addition, I still remember the words I used that day, “oh look, another letter, probably saying how unfortunate… Oh shit fuck, another ticket.”

Yep. I even remember the letter that Celestia sended me, and I’m still surprised I even read it, because I don’t even open anything from Celestia.

I literally have a closest full of letters and packages from that I never opened, because I don’t trust a Trollestia.

To My faithful student

It is quiet unfortunate you lost your ticket, but you do not have to worry about not going to the Gala with your friends. I have sent you another ticket so you can go, and have a wonderful time. I also believe this time around, you won’t loose this ticket. If I may give you a word of advice, I f I were you, I would put this in a safe place until the Gala. I will also be looking forward to your visit in Cantorlot for the Gala. I also hope to see your next friendship letter very soon.

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia

At the time, I was going, ‘great, just fucking great. She also expects me there.’

Therefore, I just ended up accepting my fate, because the way I see it, the sooner you accept something, the better off you’ll be, and I was going to the Gala.

Now, I know that’s not a bad thing. In fact, that can be a good thing, but to be honest with you, I really don’t care, so yea.

Therefore, you must be wondering how this isn’t just like in the show, well, don’t you think other stuff happens in between episodes?

However, this will not be in my perspective, for the most part, because, I wasn’t there. Therefore, here’s my buddy, although he doesn’t want to be called buddy, TK, or in other words, The Knight.

Perspective, TK:

I remember that fucking day as always.

I remember the fall we had.

Here’s the thing. After my creator, or knight as he likes to be called, came back from the place I shall not speak of, he continued his job for a while. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’ll will find out in time, with enough patience of course.

Therefore, he asked me to escort him to the Everfree forest, because the portal ended nowhere near the Everfree. In fact, it landed into dangerous territory, that if he went by himself, he would’ve died. He wasn’t strong enough yet to handle it.

Therefore, I decided to escort him, and let’s just say that TF escaped from his universe, and went after us.

As he did, near the end of both of our journey, he did something that knight likes to call, The Fall. Let’s just say shit happened.

I was teleported back off the grid, and TF and knight was still in the universe. I tried to go back, but TF put a resistance aura around the portal, so I couldn’t go back. Only days later, the aura wore off, and I was able to go back.

As I was going, TF returned, and I ordered two of my toughest minion guards to seize him, so I could interrogate him. He then told me all I needed to hear, and ordered the guards to put him back in the universe where he belonged until I got back.

I went through the portal and fortunate enough, a portal was opened in another location; however, the portal led me to a location, to where the portal was only in a small room. I then discovered, I was in a cave. There were something’s only knight would have, and I used one of my demon spells to show me what happened in the past, as if I was watching a movie.

I saw everything that had happened, even when Celestia found him and took him, along with the timber wolf he had. I then followed where the images took me, and it led me right into Ponyville.

I knew ponies were eyeing me, but I never cared anything about that.

Even back in my universe, I never cared. At this point, I was a pony, not sure which breed I was, but never cared, and wasn’t interested in finding out.

I then saw the images took me to a treehouse library, where the one named Twilight lives.

I saw everything happen inside, through the windows. I even knew a crowd was around me, as if I was making a scene.

Soon, I heard Twilights voice and Celestia right behind her. I knew they were there, but I never turned around to even steal a glance.

As soon as the images went away into the sky, I then asked one of them where was knight. Celestia then asked why I asked and why I wanted him.

Therefore, I just continued to demand an answer, and soon, with enough patience, I was given the answer. They told me he was at Stalia, and I went through the Everfree forest.

I have a map system that takes a very quick scan of the world I was in, and mapped out the entire place that I could map, and even give me any information I needed. Trust me; It’s very far advanced technology.

I trekked through the Everfree, even though I knew Celestia and Twilight were following me. They could follow me all they want, along as they don’t get in my way.

A few animals tried to attack me, but I quickly killed them and moved on.

Soon, I was in Stalia.

I then asked two stallions, which turned out to be knight’s friends, Classy Jack and Forest Fire. They immediately told me where to find him, and I went along where they pointed.

I then soon found another library, and knocked. Soon, knight answered the door. He then…

Perspective, Knight:
Yes, I can take it from here TK. Anyway, TK knocked on the door, and I opened to my surprise on seeing him.

I quickly let him in and closed the door behind him. He then asked what happened to me, and as soon I was about to open my mouth, Celestia and Twilight knocked. I soon open the door, and questioned if I was ok.

I then replied with a nod, and asked me who was the pony that they followed. I then told them that he’s an old friends of mine, with weird looks on their faces as well. I then asked why, and responded back with, ‘since I was Celestia’s personal student, and a royal subject of hers, she wanted to make sure I was safe and sound.’

Well, I then show them the door, and locked to continue the conversation.

TK then asked about the personal student thing, and I told him it was a long story. In addition, I told him if he wanted to know a little more, I told him to watch the show, which he then said, ok, but only to know what will happen to me in the future, because I did tell him that history was repeating itself.

I showed him around in the basement I built, and gave a nod, and went back to the universes.

In addition, I later found out that Celestia was still suspicious about TK. She then sent out twilight, to ask me and tell all I can about TK and his origins, or at least when we first met.

When Twilight asked about the questions, I then told her Celestia doesn’t need to worry about it, which I then got a letter from her. It was about how she’ll back off, but is still worried about me and my safety.

By the way, one other team member from my first generation team was still alive, and it was Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory, long story about that one.

I should also explain about the team thing.

Ok, when I opened up all the portals to my own universes, I created a team, into helping and protecting the entire universal grid from anything that meant harm.

At first, it was going to be easy, but I then made many enemies that way, so yea. Soon, they all fell, and I don’t really don’t want to talk about it. I also don’t blame myself that they died, because I knew they were going to die in the first place.

I knew because I made their universe fall, but let’s not get into that.

Therefore, only me, TK, and Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory were still alive from the 1st generation team, and the Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory thing, is another story for another time.

Anyway, like I was saying before, I showed and told her where I was, just in case she needed help from me.

I believe you guys will like chapter 6. i will really try hard to get chapter 6 up tommorrow, because i will be very busy. i'm going to have to go to GameStop and pick up Bioshock: Infanet and Army of Two: The Devil's Cartel. i will then have to go to Walmart to pick To The Artic and Lincoln on Blu-Ray for a Little Easter gift for someone. i would also like to try both of those games out. i then will also have to pack for the trip on Wednsday. on top of all of that, i have some personal stuff to take care of. so yea, i do hope i get the nect Chapter up for you guys tommorrow, so you guys will have something while i'm gone. i will Return on monday, i will maybe try to put up Chater 3 of The seventh element of Harmony and chapter 7 of This story.

Chapter 6: Mac Famers jealousy

This one was from the show, or in other words, season one, episode four.

Therefore, you think that Mac needs help with the apple bucking of the apple trees, but from what I found out, that applejack was planning to break the equestrian record of fastest apple bucking.

She was going to do it by herself, and keep in mind, anyone who was going against her, didn’t have to do it alone, and get help. Well, applejack was going to do it the entire apple acre farm.

Well, to my surprise, Mac was really pissed off by this, and was planning on out doing her. He quickly got one of the judges that was judging applejacks side, and was going to compete against her.

Of course, nobody gave a dam, expect for the entire town. They finally figured out that the only way that somepony might actually figure this place actually exist, if they have someone famous for breaking a record, or at least tried to break a record.

Of course, both of them had unlimited amount of time, or at least 1 week that is.

So, Mac got straight to starting to apple bucking, but of course, he forgot he had plans to help his friends out. In fact, everyone knew he wasn’t going to make it, because he had a little ceremony, made by the mare the was mayor, and told how he was going to do the record. Unfortunately, my friends didn’t realize, they made everyone doubt him, because my friends told everyone how he so amazing and how they made plans with him. I was also put on stage, engorged to say a few words to him before he begins, but all I said was, ‘you’re fucked’.

Not only that happened, but also Mac stayed up all night practicing, he didn’t get any sleep, so he was going to be tried doing this. Therefore, the bucking of the apples began.

After awhile, he noticed the time, which he knows by the sun I guess, I really don’t have a clue how, but, he noticed the time and left to go with forest. Forest was planning doing things with him, and he was trying to break a record.

You see, when forest heard about Mac breaking a record, he started figuring out, that if he did what Mac, rainbow dash might notice him, and might end up joining the wonder bolts, but he doubt it, but he was trying to get rainbow dash to notice him though.

Even if he didn’t, he would’ve been fine with just breaking a record, but of course he needed practice, and that’s what he needed Mac for.

He was going to try to break the weirdest record I’ve heard, and that’s the highest Pegasus that jumped in the air, without using wings, and doing the most craziest and dangerous tricks in the air in I minute.

In addition, forest was trying to attempt it. Yea, that would defiantly get him into the wonder bolts, too bad he would be dead by then because of the stupidity of doing something like that, but hey, I’m not the pony who thinks its jackass or something.

Therefore, Mac tried, and kept missing because he was so tried, but eventually, he did, but of course as I was expecting, forest wasn’t even prepared, and he crashed through my window.

He also paid for the window, but he still blames Mac for it because it was his fault because he wasn’t prepared for it, just like rainbow dash in the episode. Yea, I also said Mac owes me weed money, because when forest came through my window, wolf and I was smoking weed and forest destroyed the weed and unfortunately, the weed was unsmokeable.

so yea. Therefore, I decided to have a talk with Mac, because I was going to help him get through the apple bucking because, I seriously didn’t want to go through just like in the episode, but he turned my offer down, and said he needed to beat his cousin fairly.

Therefore, I then thought that the universe really wants stuff to happen just like in the show. In other words, I either do it the easy way, which is letting it happen without trying to resist it, or resist it. I just said fuck it and kept trying, even though there’s no point to it.

So after awhile, or in other words, the next day, he went to neon parties party shop, or though technically, helping out the owners of the shop, and just living there just like pinkie Pie, but still, the party shop to help him bake party goods, or cakes or something sweet like for a party for ponies.

Now the party shop just doesn’t sell baked goods, but it also sells party supplies and neon’s services to throw a party, as well as party music, or in other words, dustup, or whatever they call it here, I really don’t care.

So, Mac went to help neon, and of course, just like in the show, he messed up the food, or cupcakes I think he messed up. Instead of worms and other ingredients that do not go together, he put something else.

Now, at first, I didn’t know what he put in, but later I found out what it was, and I prefer not to talk about. Let’s just say, it was food poisoning, and I’m still shocked that the ponies are still alive after what the just ate, because I’m filmier with the food poisoning, in it would kill you within seconds.

I don’t know what happened, maybe the other stuff Mac mixed the cupcakes might’ve created an antidote, but still.
Well, he continued, and once again, I returned with the offer of help, and he shot it down once again.

Later, he went to classy jacks place to help him with some of the suits, and from what I have heard, one minute jack was out of the room, getting some stuff, and after a few seconds after he left.

When he came back, Mac was on the ground sleeping, and the room was on fire. He was lucky it didn’t even spread.
Well, I soon went up to him one last time to talk to him.

Now, if you remember when applejack kept mishearing Twilight in the episode, let me tell, he also misheard me, but the stuff that he thought he heard was ridiculous.

One of them was he thought he heard me say ‘where can I fuck a donkey, while eating honey out of a baboons asshole, while juggling 8 fireballs, 11 bats, and 5 axes, while skinning a gorilla alive, while doing a dance on top of a polar bears body, while singing a song that’s called don’t stop me now, ( which to be clear he never heard of, but he thought there was a song called that out there in Equestria), while becoming a shark, while shaking palm trees to get trains down and put the trains in a apple and wait for turkeys to come eat the apple, and then watch as the turkeys go up waterfalls and get them down, by collecting monkey butts and drop the monkey butts on a electrical current.'

I have no response to this, but to be clear, he did ask some weird stuff, that he thought he heard from me, and all I said was he needed help. Mental and physically. Where did he get that Idea, I will never know, but still.

Well, the last thing he did was go to Arrell’s for a visit, and help breed some of the animals.

. Well, from what I’ve heard, Arrell, had to go do something, so he left Mac to do his business alone, right. Well, when he came back, what he saw was animals having origied. There was cum all over the place, some of the animals were beating the hell out of each other because Mac put the wrong animals together, like a bunny and a bear, along with a lion, and I’m not sure. I believe I also heard somewhere that the animals were doing the 69.

You could just tell Mac was not right in the head, and you could clearly see he was very tried.

In fact, this all happened in a course of 3 or 4 days.

So I just got fed up of hearing all the ridiculous stories and what Mac was doing, that I got with my friends, told Mac, he was going to die if he didn’t take a break, or in other words, say we were magical ponies that if he didn’t do what we say, we would kill him.

Therefore, he just stepped aside while we finished up his work, and what do you know, Mac defeated applejack, but he didn’t beat the world record, but still defeated applejack.

When we told this to Mac, and we told him he did finish the apple orchard, but he forgot what happened, he was so proud of himself, he was going to rub this in applejacks face.

Now, I stopped him before he could even get out of his house, because, I didn’t want to see him in the hospital, and hear he burned the hospital down, because if the hospital is going to be burned down, it’s either going to be me, or the joker from the dark knight.

Second, even though applejack was my fifth favorite pony, I still cared about the ones that was my least favorite, because they’re still ponies, not worthless pieces of shit that we can abuse whenever we want.

Those types of people are for, well, I’m not going to say it, because if I do, I’m probably going get my ass kicked by them.

let’s just say it’s anonymous, But I’ll give you a hint, it’s NOT from Earth, but from Equestria, and if someone does read this that’s not you guys, I’ll probably be in trouble.

i hope you found this really funny. the next cahpter will be even more funny.

Chapter 7: Doctor Whooves Comes to Town.

Well, it was a glorious morning in Stalia.

The birds were chirping. The sky was clear, the ponies were all out of bed, and frogs were humping birds. That’s right, frogs were humping birds.

In addition, apparently, the animals from the Everfree were not good at all. In fact, there was something wrong going on, that Twilight had to come and give a report to the princess.

Now, if you’re thinking that the problem is that the animals are having an orgy, then you are a sick fuck for thinking that. Besides, there’s no reason to think that, because if you read the last chapter, you would know we have something like that already, and his name his Mac.

So, Twilight came for a visit, and was going to stay a few days, because she also wanted to try to figure the problem out, but of course she would have the send the letter out to the princess first, but still wanted to do some scientific research. Therefore, what do you think where she goes to.

Me of course.

Why couldn’t she just stay in Ponyville and have a chariot drop her off whenever she needed to. I mean sure, Ponyville is a few hundred, maybe a thousand miles away, I’m not so sure because I never bothered to look it up, but she still could’ve though.

So she asked me if she could stay at my house while she was there, and I would’ve said no, not to be mean, but because I don’t want to take chances of her snooping around my home and figuring out where I really came from.
It’s quite obvious if you think about, because Twilight will always try to find out what’s happening when somethi

ng is up. Besides, I can’t let Twilight find out, because then I don’t know what would happen, but I’m afraid it can’t be a good thing. Although, Celestia can’t really kick me out, because remember, I’m one of the elements, and if they need to use it, they would need me.

Therefore, I can’t tell her…. Yet, and when I mean by yet, I mean by when the time is right, she will then know. Nevertheless, of course, since this is MLP and I do sort of have to stick to the Brony code a little bit, although I always found myself as a different type of Brony like a Brony who isn’t afraid to kill, but likes My Little Pony, but still.

So anyway, she came up to me for a place to stay, I said she could. I had a few empty rooms, because I only needed one room, but it came with two more, and I was able to finish one up as a guest bedroom, so I gladly offered it.

She also brought spike along, then again, I can’t complain since spike is her number one assistant. Spike even thought that wolf was my number one assistant, but wolf told him he’s not, and is there because I’m the only one who ever took care of him and his only friend.

That’s not to say he has other friends, but as a friend he can depend on. Sure, he can also on the others, but still, that and we’ve been best buds for years, so yea.

Therefore, Twilight arrived at my house late one night, I think at seven or maybe a bit later, I couldn’t tell, because she had to a little business to take care of.

Well, I then showed her around the place, and guess who showed up, TK.

Yea, she was a little shocked, but I had forgotten I invited him over because I had to talk to him about stuff, as in off the grid stuff.

Well, I calmed her down, but she was still little angry, which I asked her what she has against TK, and she said she has nothing against him, but I could tell she was lying, and didn’t want to simply tell the truth right away, so I knew I had to get the truth out of her soon somehow.

I then showed her to her bedroom to unpack, and TK and I went to that basement I made, although from now on, I’m just going to call it basement, because I will just barley mention the other basement. Besides, the other basement is where I put my weed and beer at. That and other shit I don’t have a use for.

Therefore, I opened the secret door, which is right in front of my door to be specific.

You see, I have the secret doo to the basement right in front of the front door, and have the keypad to unlock. And just to mention this, but my house is a two story building, but just thought worth motioning, because I think it’s going to be somewhere in the story in the future.

Anyways, I went to the basement to talk about the stuff, and when I mentioned how twilight snoops around, she really snoops around, because she saw the basement, but luckily, I have the most important stuff hidden away in a vault that I only know the code to.

She was so simply amazed in shocked at the same time and questioned to what the basement was. I then soon explained everything to her, how I manually built this place, with all the resources I had, and how I have the syringes, and what I look up and test, although I left out the part from the other universes, but still.

I also make my own weapons down there, and told her those were the rarest types of weapons, that very few ponies have, and I was being serious about that.

I found some ponies with the guns or from they have told, a shooty thingy. to which I then found out, a stallion gave it to them, and if they ever saw me, kill me with it, but of course, I knew it was TF, and of course, since he wasn’t a Brony, he didn’t understand that most of these ponies do not kill, so they gladly gave it to me, with no questions asked.

However, I believe some might’ve kept it to themselves, but I’m not sure, but I don’t think it would be a problem, because I have all the ammo with me, and they wouldn’t know how to use it even.

Well I also told Twilight, how this can be a game changer to battle and fights. I also begged her not to tell Celestia, because if she would ever find out, the weapons would be taken away, and taken to a secret place in Cantorlot.

If someone ever found out, to say like the changeling queen, she would find a way to steal it, and use it against Celestia and possibly kill us all. The only safe spot would be here, because it would be hard to break into the basement.

So she pinkie promised not to tell, but only if I told her all of the scientific research I found and how I made the weapons possible, not that she was interested into guns, but just curious on how they work.

I then agreed, and Twilight left TK and I to continue our conversation. We were basically talking about one of the universes having one of my old enemies come to this universe, and one would have an armada, and we discussed battle plans, for Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory to the lead the army.

Yea, forgot to mention. since the Rainbow Dash is in charge of the Rainbow Factory part of the weather factory, she had a separate factory for it now, and since she was trained by TK.

She was also gained forces of ponies to command an army, so yea.

You have me who is very welled skilled, who have guns and makes his own weapons, and also knows how to use very powerful unicorn magic. That can also use the knight suit, and has off the grid powers that can be used on the grid for a short period of time, ( or at leat not anymore), and knows how to use it.

You also have TK, who has the knight suit still on, who also commands an army of demons, and have devil powers, and can sometimes use, depending on the situation, gods angels to fight.

Then you have Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory, who has the same skills from TK, and can use some of the off the grid powers, and commands an army.

Put us together, and we are fucking bad asses.

I just always wanted to say or write it down in this case.

Therefore, it was morning, and spike then woke up and fixed breakfast, although he was having a hard time trying to find something to fix him and Twilight, but I helped him out.

He also thought there was a fire going on because he saw us smoking, but I then explained it was weed, and shrugged it off, although he had a little worried look on his face.

Even Twilight was surprised, and she knew some of the damaging effects that weed can cause. However, I told it was fine, because I somehow never get any of the damaging effects from weed, somehow, and wolf is made out of woods, so she shrugged it off as well.

She then later told me she couldn’t believe how, I, a personal, well educated, and a wonderful faithful student of princess Celestia, who also stopped her evil clone, and made that amazing basement, would be smoking weed.

I just ignored her commit. She then asked me for help with her studying and examining about the animal problem, and I gladly said yes, although I didn’t have anything else going on.

I know I’m a Brony, and I should be excited about his, but I’m really not.

I mean, one, it’s not Rainbow Dash, although Twilight is ok in my opinion.

Two, I‘ve been here for a while now, and It was really getting old.

In addition, three, back on earth, I said to myself, that if I was ever able to go to the MLP universe, I would like to just be friends with them.

Not be all up in their faces saying how great they are. That and also explore their amazing world beyond our own, or should I say beyond your own, because at this point, things have change, but I’ll tell you guys what that means in the future, but for now, let’s continue.

Therefore, Twilight and I were walking to the edge of the Everfree, and my friends spotted us, and were in shock.
Of course, they kneeled down to her since she was a princess after all, and they started asking questions on how we knew each other.

In addition, I think forest went up to her and ask if Rainbow is seeing anyone, which I don’t know what happened to that conversation, but moving on.

From what I saw Twilight was doing, she was giving specific details on what the animals were doing, and even I didn’t know what was going on, because I have some powers, or whatever you want to call them, on controlling the animals of the Everfree, but they weren’t responding to me.

I mean, wolf and I sometimes come up here from time to time, and I never had a problem and not one of them disobeying orders from me, although Twilight didn’t know that of course, nor did anyone know that.

She then listed the symptoms to whatever was making the animals what they were doing, which were unusual things, like mating, but with unusual other animals, or being more aggressive, or not doing what the animals do naturally, like dig random holes.

For a while, she was taking notes, and wrote down some theories that she had.

Then she rolled up the letter and headed back to the house to give to spike so he could send it off, because we left wolf and spike back at home.

Twilight also asked me to stay and look after a machine she had that would pick up anything that was unusual, and I said yes, just because I didn’t want to be mean to her.

Therefore, I got fucking stuck on watching duty, and nothing fucking happened the entire night.

As I was just going to give up and go back home to go to sleep, I saw a thing fading into existence, and the machine was going ape shit.

As the thing stopped fading in and out, I then recognized it as the tarturis, and my mouth was open, and then at the very moment, Doctor Whooves, that one from doctor whooves and the assistant I might add, and Derpy come on walking out.

They stood there, questing why the TARDIS sent them there, and I quickly rushed up to them.

They then asked where they were and how did I know they’re names. I just said I knew, and I was from another universe, of course, the Doctor didn’t believe me at first, but I told him I had proof and I snucked them back to the hidden basement and showed.

That defiantly grabbed their attention.

They then started to ask me questions and I answered as much as possible.

Now, of course, TK found about within about an hour or so, but he was a little pissed off at me. I explained to him how they won’t say a word about it, and how he travels to other universes as well. He then let the subject pass, and moved on to other things, like going to talk to Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory.

Well, he then was still confused, because since the TARDIS only goes to places where there is trouble, I think.

I never watched Doctor Who back on earth, because I didn’t know where to start on the show. There was too many of them.

Well, I offered a non finished guess room to stay in, or at least until we can figure out what is happening in Stalia. He did accept the offer, and I gave him a bed for him and Derpy, but only because that’s the only thing I had for the other room.
It takes time to furnish a room, ok.

Besides, Doctor Whooves and Derpy is more like a couple together, then again, why the fuck would I be talking about romance.

Besides, I don’t even believe in love. I have reasons for them, but still. I never fallen in love with someone nor fallen in someone because the chick is hot, which means I would still be a virgin, but I don’t care if I’m a virgin or not. Besides, Jesus was a virgin, and if you hate me, you hate Jesus, or is the weed finally coming to me now.

Then again, I am half-sober when I’m ever drunk as shit.

The next morning, Twilight was shocked when she saw me on the couch sleeping, and to tell why I didn’t sleep in my bed, I was right about the weed finally getting to me, and I had a hangover. I also might’ve had an orgy over at my place with random animals and ponies, because I found semen everywhere, or was that me?

Then again, I haven’t masturbated ever since I was 14, but still though, it’s weird.

I will possibly find out later when ponies come up to me and saying how much fun they had at my place.

Well, I then ordered spike and wolf to clean up the mess, while Twilight and I talked. While we were talking, Doctor Whooves came down the stairs to ask for some muffins, and Twilight was in shock we had another guess.

I just stood there with a poker face and said we had no muffins.

In fact, at that time, I didn’t even knew what we even had. I don’t even shop for the food, because I make wolf do that, while I smoke weed and get drunk off my ass.

Moreover, if you’re shocked of this is how I am, and I’m supposed to be this badass who fought enemies and suffered the worst anyone has in their life. Well, this is me. I’ve been doing this ever since I discovered the portal.

Besides, there’s nothing to do around the house. I mean, there’s no TV or anything, but I still somehow find a way to get through it.

You want to know the secret, I don’t really use technology that much.

Sure, I make my own weapons, but that’s only when I have the supplies. If I’m in the forest, and I’m defenseless, I make my weapons whatever I got.

Therefore, continuing on, I then started to open up all the coverers and surprisingly I found muffin mix. I then gave the box to Doctor Whooves and told him to fix it.

I know I’m not being a good host, but I really am not a good cook.

Even if there were directions on the box, I’ll still find a way to burn it.

Well, after the doctor went into the kitchen, Twilight just gave me a look that said, ‘what the fuck’. I just simply told her what happened, and even she didn’t believe me.

Well, after the Doctor fixed the muffins, the Doctor released a beast into my home. Trust me, it’ll be like a horror movie, for muffins.

Once the smell of muffins came out of the oven, Derpy smelled it, and came crashing through the door and almost destroyed the walls.

In addition, in a blink of an eye, she was devouring the muffins whole. I knew Derpy loves muffins, but this was so fucking messed up.

Moreover, for some odd reason, and I don’t know what drove her to do it, but Derpy started to shove the muffins up her asshole.

It was so disturbing, that we all slowly walked backwards and ran out the door before you can say fuck.

I then locked the door so Derpy could finish her “business” in private, and we all agreed to never speak of that again. I even have nightmares about that. Wolf too, although it seems he enjoys it.

I’ll tell you, that I will never understand wolf. He may be my friend, but I’ll never understand him.

So, while Derpy was doing her uh…. Thing, Doctor Whooves offered to give twilight proof about the TARDIS.

Twilight happily accepted the offer, and I believe she thought she was going to be right, and act if I was in idiot for believing the Doctor.

When we got to the edge of the Everfree, we stumbled upon the machine that Twilight made, and found it destroyed.

It was unfortunate for Twilight, because she said she worked on it for years, but I simply offered to fix it. I even told her I could fix it within one to two days.

She looked at me as if I was crazy, because later she said it would be almost impossible to get the parts for it, but I soon showed her and gave her the machine repaired, and I even upgraded for her, and she still is shocked I did it.

It is obvious, because I make my own weapons and technology, but she still is shocked.

Well, the Doctor showed her the TARDIS, and Twilight was in shock, that she fainted.

We brought her to the hospital, because I don’t think it would be a safe bet to go back home just yet while Derpy is still there. She soon woke up, and looked at Whooves with wide eyes.

She then said she would have to report this to the princess, and she wrote a letter immediately, and spike sent it. I was surprised how no one tried to stop her, but ok then.

After the doctor gave the clear for her to go, even though she had nothing wrong with her.

We just told a lie to the doctor that she had aids, and after she woke up, we just told them she had magical aids, that disappeared and they believed it.

What a bunch of stupid dumbasses.

As we walked outside, we came across a little problem.

We found a Derpy outline through my door.

Then we noticed the entire pony citizens yelling and screaming as Derpy tried to devour all the muffin in sight.

I do have to admit, she really loves those muffins. I also feel kind of guilty of leaving Derpy in my house alone.

What we should’ve done is tie her down, and put her in a snow globe, just like in season 2 episode 18, where the part where pinky found the donkey’s snow globe, and it had a Derpy in it. We would keep her there until she was rehabilitated and ready to rejoin society. We could even get maybe Morgan Freeman from another universe to help. Besides, she really has a muffin problem. In fact, the muffin problem is just as a big of a problem as the cookie monster has the cookie problem.
Well, we just acted as if everything was normal, well, except for Twilight. She tried her best to calm Derpy down, but it lead her to being knocked consciences.

So we were here, in the middle of town, with Derpy rampaging through the town, trying to shove muffins up her ass and devour all the muffins all insight, while we have an unconsciences princess, which might piss off Celestia a bit, with a pony from another world.

In addition, to put on top of all of this, we still had the weird animal problem in the Everfree forest.

This was just fucking great.

Also, if you were wondering where were my friends were at during this time, they were at the bar.

Yea, apparently the bar is the only place that was not burning, or destroyed by Derpy.

Then all of a sudden, a chariot appeared, and Celestia was on it. She landed down with wide eyes. She then stepped down off the chariot and the flyers flew off like hell. I could just imagine what they were thinking, which would just simply be, what the fuck.

Celestia was about to speak, but I cut her off and said don’t ask. She then tried to check if Twilight was ok, and fortunately, she was.

However, she was still unconsciences, and would have to be brought back home to rest, and spike offered of taking her.
Therefore, spike went off to bring her back home, but at this point, I was wondering, and it is somewhat of a sick question, but is spike going to rape her. I mean, I know he loves rarity, but when is he going to hit on her.

I mean, this would be his only chance he will have of doing it, but I don’t want to know.

After we could no longer see spike, Celestia put a sleeping spell on Derpy, and was about ask what had happened, but I told her don’t ask once more.

She then explained how she got the letter explaining how a pony from another world is here, and Doctor Whooves explained himself. She then asked Doctor Whooves to come along with her to speak in private. She then asked me to check up on Twilight, even though spike was with her.

I’m pretty sure we both had out suspicions about spike raping her.

Wolf and I walked back to the house, and when we walked in, it was a complete mess. Not only the orgy stains were still there, but there was shit mixed with muffins everywhere as well.

I also think there was an unborn fetus just lying on the ground!

Then out of nowhere, my friends came up to me with what the fuck looks on their faces.

They then asked what they missed, but I ignored them, because I was too shocked to even answer them.

I then told wolf to clean it up, and of course he was a little pissed off, but he did what he was told, because I said after all of this is fixed, I promised some weed.

The thing is, we just don’t normally smoke weed that often, since it’s somewhat hard to get here. Not that it’s expensive, but you would have to find it in forests, but I was working on cloning the weed, so we would of unlimited amount of weed, and it was going very well.

I then walked up stairs to check on Twilight, and when I mean by that, I mean to see if spike is raping her or not. As I opened the door to the guest room, spike wasn’t raping her, and I thought I was thinking too deep into this.

As I walked into the room, Twilight woke up, and said, “What happened, and why do I feel like I got violated.”

I then stared at spike, and he just smiled with a nervous grin on his face.

I then walked back down stairs, not to my surprise, wolf was finished cleaning.

I say not, because if you offer him weed, beer, or both, he’ll get the job done very fast, and good. Although, I don’t want to know where he put the unborn fetus at, but I think I have an idea. I believe he put it into our neighbors mailbox.

I then gave him the weed, and he was acting if it was his precious, like that gremlin guy from lord of the rings.

Now, I know that’s not his name, but I never watched lord of the rings. I just know that little midget that says my precious all the time. I believe he’s a midget, or sorry, if I’m being offensive here, I really don’t give a fuck, but if I do have to be PC, then fun size I guess would be the correct term to use here.

After me and my friends sat there and watched wolf smoke weed, Celestia and Doctor Whooves came in, while Celestia holding Derpy in a levitation spell.

I then asked the doctor what the princess told him, and he replied he with the princess asking about the TARDIS and where he came from.

All the princess said was, he was welcome to Equestria anytime.

I then had a poker face, because that doesn’t seem to be a reason why to have a private conversation, then again, it was to determine if he could stay here or not.

Celestia also put the sleeping Derpy down on my couch and asked where to find Twilight. I then told her she was in her guess bedroom, and she was surprised this place had a guess bedroom.

In addition, I thought she knew.

So it clearly means, that she didn’t try her best to get me a home that wasn’t a library.

Fucking Trollelestia.

Therefore, after I told her where to find Twilight, the Doctor and I slowly came up to Derpy, trying not wake her up, and tie her up.

We were successful, but she woke up, and was still the beast who wanted to shove muffins up her ass.

I then went to check up on Celestia and Twilight, and when I got up there, Twilight asked me to finish up her assignment, because she didn’t feel she could from the concussion Derpy gave her.

I realize how strong Derpy was. I mean, if she could knock out an Alicon, who are basically strong, I’m afraid what she would do to a normal pony, like an earth pony.

I said yes to help her, and she would be in my house until I get the job done.

I then thought, maybe I can offer weed and beer to wolf if he can do it, but I just said fuck it and moved on with life.

At the time, Luna’s moon was about to rise, and the ponies of Stalia were about to come out of their homes and try to fix up most of the damage as most as possible, since it was starting to get dark.

The Doctor, wolf, and I were walking the streets so we could go to the Everfree forest. While we were walking, what we saw was like a war zone.

I don’t know what Derpy did, but the only building that’s seemed to be perfectly normal, was the bar.

I mean the destruction was so devastating, and it was unbelievable. I also saw a newspaper that said 11 dead from a mysterious attacker.

Now, I know Derpy never meant to kill tem, in fact, I don’t think she killed them at all, but as the ponies were trying to run away, they might’ve just gotten stuck in place where they died, but not by Derpy’s hooves.

I can just imagine, if they had TV, they would have a news station that would have a Derpy image, with ‘never forget’ as the message.

I know it’s only 11 dead, and not that big of disasters as other ones are, but this is the My Little Pony universe, and there are not too many death’s here, but if there are, its either by old age, or some sort of disease, not a pony killing another pony.

Well, we then finally got out of town, and into the Everfree forest. I told wolf and Whooves we were going to sit here all night, and see what was causing the animals to do weird things.

If you’ve forgotten about the animal problem, you’re not the only one. I forgot as well, but only because there was Doctor Whooves showing up, Twilight fainting, Derpy going berserk (maybe a psychopath?), spike raping Twilight, and the weird orgy I found in the living room this morning, and the unborn fetus.

Well, fortunately, we found the source, and it was an old monster from another universe that the Doctor recognized.
Soon, the Doctor and the weird beast were fighting each other off.

Eventually, the Doctor won the battle, but killed many animals while trying to fight. He didn’t do it on purpose, but the animals got in the way.

Well, as dawn broke, we walked back home, while dragging the dead beast’s body with us. As we walked into the house, we found Celestia in my living room, because she was sent to grab something for Twilight.

Therefore, we walked in, and we dropped the dead body right in front of her, with a what the fuck look on her face. We then explained what happened, and was a little relived that the animal problem was solved, although she couldn’t help it, but she felt guilty of causing harm here, because she sent Twilight here.

It does make sense, because if you think about it, it’s somewhat of a chain reaction.

If Twilight was never here, then I would have never gone with her to the Everfree forest, because I really don’t care about the animals have an orgy or not. it’s their business, not ours.

Then, she would have never told me to stay there with the machine for the night, and I would have never met Doctor Whooves, because, good news is, he joined the team.

What I mean by that is, he joined me, TK, and Rainbow Dash from Rainbow Factory. However, he couldn’t stay there and had to go back to the TARDIS, so I gave him a device, where I or he can teleport himself here for anything.

After the Doctor and Derpy left (Derpy went back to normal after the muffin craving went away and we will never forget what happened when she did.), Twilight thanked me for letting her stay at my house and left, and the door was finally fixed.

I then went back to the life I was had before Twilight came. I went back to smoking weed and getting drunk, although, I only get half drunk, but still. I did this as I waited for the next thing to be repeated, which was season 1 episode 6.

its going to be a while before the next chapter will be up for universal magic and the seventh elemnt. its because i'm dealing with personal problems and its really hard and tiring to edit the chapters. thats also one of the reasons why i made grammer mistakes, because i get so tired of editing a chapter, i don't even notice the grammer mistake. it might be next week when i get the next chapter up.

Chapter 8: The Griffin Problem.

After the events of Doctor Whooves, I didn’t have to wait too long before the next thing got repeated.

So heres what happened. I was at the park with Neon, which I was invited by him to come. Since I didn’t feel like smoking weed, and besides, I smoked weed that very morning.

I call it my morning weed.

Anyways, I decided to bring a book along, since my house is a fucking library after all.

After Neon was talking for a while, I got bored with him, and decided to just read. Therefore, I read and read, while Neon kept mumbling on about stuff, that I don’t even know if it was even relevant to the universe, but ok then.

Then Neon spotted Forest, and Forest tried his best to fly away, but Neon was an earth pony, and was the Pinkie Pie of this group of friends, so of course he was able to keep up with Forest.

From what I’ve known, Forest kept flying away, but couldn’t escape Neon.

Eventually, Forest hit a mountain, and Neon Party said he was tiring to warn him. Yea, I’ll believe that when Pinkie Pie and Neon Party starts following the laws of physics.

I’m pretty sure Neon was to distract Forest and he’ll get hurt, which will then amuse Neon. That or Neon was to distract Forest, so he will later kill him and harvest his organs, much like in the fanfic Cupcakes. I’m pretty sure it was for Neon to get a good laugh, because I found out neon laughed so much that day, he got the aids somehow, but then cured itself.

First off, don’t ask me how he got aids just from fucking laughing.

Second, aids that cure itself. That seems interesting, and something i will never understand. I mean, I know that the aids exist here, just like other dieses, and no diseases cure itself. The reason I say that, that you can guess it was magic, but no. apparently, Pinkie Pie and Neon Party are like god like beings.

Well that, and there’s me, Luna, Celestia, and Cadence.

So, there’s about six gods here.

Three are rulers, two just does whatever the fuck they want to, and one really has no fucking clue what’s going on.

Later that day, after Neon was relished from the hospital on how the aids he had cured itself, he started asking everyone where Forest was. I then simply thought, if I had to guess, he wanted to see Forest be set on fire while flying really fast, since fire is his last name, which he will then laugh his ass off, and get diabetes. Then he’ll go to the hospital, and has a cure for diabetes, but letting the thing cure itself.

I was then half-right at that (I’m pretty sure you know which one I was right on).

Anyway, I told Neon that Forest was on the clouds, and then Forest went so fast, it reminds me of Ghost Rider in the skies song a little.

Therefore, what happened next was Neon finally being able to break Forest. Soon, Neon and Forest were out near the mail building, and were waiting for Wolf.

Now, Wolf went to get scrolls, that were from Celestia, and I just told him to bring the scrolls, and put it in the pile of shit that Celestia sent me.

By now, I probably have a three-thousand to five- thousand feet pile of un opened mail from Celestia. It is very big, and it’s kind of one of the attraction for the town of Stalia, although they call it the biggest pile of mail that no one gives a flaming fuck about. I’m really dead serious about that name. it’s really called that.

Moving on, Neon and Forest were waiting there for Wolf to come out. When Wolf came out, Neon set him on fire, to see if he’ll burn or not.

By this point in time, I was really concerned the mental state of Neon, because he was starting to turn out a psychopath, but it was fake fire.

I had a surprised look on my face when I heard that, because I remember in ‘No, I’m not a Brony, get me out of Equestria’, fanfic, I remember how TD got set on fire by Pinkie Pie, and it was fake. I was surprised it actually exists here.

By the way, Wolf accidently sent all the letters back to Celestia, however, I later found out it wasn’t letters.

What I found out was that Wolf was getting paper, and he wrote on it, and made it into a scroll. It was for me apparently, and the message on the paper was fuck you bicth, in with very big letters. What Wolf was doing with these was for a trolling joke he was going to do on me, but it got sent to Celestia. Now, guess what I got back in response to those letters.

She gave me a thank you letter.

I’m wondering now, is she blind, or is the universe is going to extreme lengths to stay on course. I mean, I got the letter and Celestia said I was very thoughtful for sending it. She also put in the letter that she taught me very well.

I also then thought, what did she teach me. Let’s see here, I basically forgot everything she thought me when I was in Cantorlot. Be friends with possible psychopaths. Be a troll and make your student learn something from it. Yea, that’s about it. In other words, she taught me jack shit.

Anyways, both of them enjoyed the prank they pulled on Wolf, and started doing pranks together.

For Mac, they beat the living shit out of his farm animals. Mac was so shocked by this, he started to threaten to kill Neon and Forest, until he found out it was just dead cows from other farms, he was relieved and moved with life.

Now, I’m starting to get used to Neon and all the other weird shit around the world, sometimes at this point. When stuff like this happens, I just saw it as normal, but whatever. Although, my question is, where did they go to get and beat the hell out of those other farm cows.

As for Arrell, the animals were having another orgy, while sharks were killing turkeys, with a baboon raping a random pony, along with 3 deformed ponies were fucking inanimate objects. In addition, there was the bunny friend that Arrell had, that was looking at bunny porn in a magazine.

Now, how Neon and Forest was able to pull this off, I will never know, but I believe it was Neon’s breaking the laws of physic power.

In addition, Arrell was fine with this. Although, I did see him drag a bunch of trash bags that was bleeding blood.

Now for Jack, they took away the mannequins, and replaced it with dead bodies. Jack was also fine with this as well. I’m just surprised no one asked where the dead bodies came from. However, I believe it was a fake dead body, but I’m not sure.
Guess what else, they also did me, which led them to take all the beer and weed, and replaced it with apple cider and grass clippings.

I was so extremely pissed off, that I belated the fuck out of them. However, if you guessed by now, Forest was fine since Forrest can fly, while Neon just somehow randomly disappeared into thin air, and repapered in someone else’s house.

I will never understand him, or Pinkie.

They do deserve the title as a god like being.

The next day, Neon was going over to Forest’s house, which just like Rainbow Dash, it was in the sky as well. Neon then asked him to come down, which in response, he got Forest and a griffin.

Now, at this point, I was walking by, planning a way to get revenge for them stealing my weed and beer, I overheard there little conversation.

I then stopped with wide eyes, and then realized something. That griffin was that famous Brony who’s OC was a griffin. I don’t remember the name, but it was him. I recognized the voice. I just couldn’t believe how he was here in this universe.

The only way to find out was to join the conversation.

I then walked up to them, and joined them. When I joined in, Forest was telling Neon how he met the griffin. I then spoke up, saying hi and shit, and asked who the griffin was.

Well, I was correct.

He had the same name as the famous Brony did, although I forgot what it was, but I believe you know what I’m talking about.
Forest then went to get something from his house, and the griffin turned to the two of us, and said he didn’t like us.

Although, he said he met the others, and liked them.

He then told us to fuck off, and Neon just went away, but I believe he was coming back with something else to ignore the griffin with, or at least talk to Forest, since he was going to be up in the clouds and shit.

However, I stayed there and explained whom I was, and the griffin was in shock. However, he then threaten me that if I didn’t leave, he’ll tell Forest and the others who I really was, and I just couldn’t take those chances.

Well, at least not yet. They’re not ready yet for the truth. Is neither Celestia nor the mane six.

I then went to my basement, and contacted TK to ask him how the fuck did another human get in to that universe. He then explained to me there is more than one way to get to other universes.

So heres the deal.

There are multiple ways to get to other universes. However, there are two types of ways to get into other universes. One way, is the legal way. There is only one way for this way, and that’s how I did it. It’s complicated, but it’s still the legal way. As for the illegal, it’s everything else.

The way the griffin did it, was the illegal way.

Now there are differences for the legal and illegal way. For the illegal way, you will be in the universe, however, that doesn’t mean there will be consequences. The punishment could be anything thet will affect you in a negative way for the choices you make on how you got to the universe, or basically anything at all. The legal way, there are some benefits for going though the legal way.

I then stayed up all night, trying to figure out a way to get the griffin guy back to his world. I could’ve killed him, but one, he’s a Brony, and two, even though I didn’t like him that much other than the other Bronies, you do have to admit, he was pretty good at music.

While I was thinking of ways to get rid of the griffin, Neon went through so much trouble to talk to Forest, but of course he keeps failing, and eventually comes to me. He told me had a plan to burn where he lives and set him on fire.

First off, that would mean to burn forest’s house, since he’s staying at forest’s house.

Second, I believe Neon has a problem with fire, because lately, he’s been wanting to burn things. I also said to him, ‘you have a serious problem of burning things, don’t you. I mean, you’re mentally unstable to be here you fucker.’

He then said he has another plan to get rid of the griffin, which is more sane then burning things. I did agree with him, I think we should have an intervention with him about setting things on fire.

While he said his plan would work, I suggested we try my plan first, which was for Neon to lure the griffin away, and bring him to my house.

When the griffin came to my house, I then knocked him out, and dragged his unconscious body along the way to Ponyville.
Why you ask I go to Ponyville, to which the answers lies in his past.

You see, from what I’ve gathered, he’s been pretty much hated in Ponyville, and nobody likes him. Therefore, my plan was to drag his body on the Everfree forest trail and let anything happen, happen. While his body went through, was being gnawed and chewed at by timber wolves and get splinters and all that good shit.

We eventually came to Ponyville, with every other pony staring at us.

I knew they wouldn’t be able to recognize him, because he’s too fucked up.

Therefore, I then went up to Twilight’s door, knocked, and Twilight opened.

She said hello, but then questioned why the fuck I had a griffin with me. I then forced myself in, dropped the body on the ground, and closed the door.

I then explained everything to Twilight who the griffin was, and she had a shock face.

I then told her to do something with him.

She had a confused to look on her face, and I just simply told her to do some magic shit. She then explains getting rid of a griffin wasn’t easy.

My response was it is easy.

All you need is a hacksaw and some acid. You would also need a container to put the acid in. a bathtub is recommended to do this type of magic.

She then said just do what Pinkie did.

I then had an idea, although I would have to go back home, and think a better way for it to work. She then asked if I was all right. I then said, ‘I don’t think I have to worry about him anymore. I think I got an Idea.’

She then asked what, and I replied with, ‘don’t worry about it. Your uncle knight will take care of it.’

I then thought what the fuck I just said. I found out later, that the universe was doing it.

Now, not only will I have to repeat everything like in the show, but also the dialogue.

Fucking great!

As you can tell, I was well pissed off about it.

Twilight then said, she was a year older than me, but then stopped in her sentence and told me she doesn’t know my age. At that point, I just couldn’t fucking believe it.

I’ve been living here for 3 or 4 years, and they finally figured out that they never celebrated a birthday for me. I wonder if they will ever figure out, I’m a fucking male.

Of course I said that to her, and she just rolled her eyes at me.

I then let myself out, and somehow, the ponies in the town all recognized the griffin, and I just left him there, to be beaten the fuck out of.

Later, I was in my house, trying to figure out the calculations for my plan with the griffin, and somehow, the griffin knew who put him in Ponyville, and he just simply crawled on the floor, because all the ponies broke his legs.

Well, he said I was a bicth.

My response was what happened to love and tolerance.

A few days later went by, and the griffin then healed, and Neon threw him a party for him.

Just to tell what is going to happen, what happens is just like in the episode.

Although, I thought I saw Neon tip hooved to the griffin, and slowly lighted a match, but he saw me and I shooked my head at him, and he was ashamed at himself. We really need to give him an intervention about burning things.

Well, when the griffin left, after he was embarrassed and how Forest now thinks he was a doucebag, he walked out onto the streets, and I was there. I shot a bullet at him; however, it was a special bullet.

The bullet teleported him back to his universe, and I no longer saw him again.

I also wonder, where did he go, because to be honest, the device just sent him back to his universe, so he could’ve just been just sent to the vacuum of space.

Meanwhile… In the legion of doom.

The legion of doom was standing in the middle of that griffin guys house. One of them finally spoke Up.

“This isn’t our base. How the fuck did we end up in a guys house,” said one of the members of doom.
They then finally walked out of the house, and tried to find where the fuck they were.

As they were walking out, the griffin guy turned back into the famous Brony, who had that griffin avatar.

. He woke and thought of being in Equestria was all a dream he had. The griffin guy was in his room, when all of a sudden, Mic the Microphone opens the door and there was a little famous Brony gathering behind him.

the griffin guy then asked what the fuck was going on, and Mic responded by saying a bunch of Bronies, including him, walked into his house, and had a party.

The griffin guy was worried about his stuff being wrecked, but hes was relieved when he heard nothing was moved.
However, Mic then told him, that a monkey raped and humped him while he was sleeping.

The griffin guy had a shocked expression on his face, and tried to get up, but as he tried, and fell, to find his legs being broken. The ponies in ponyville broke his legs, when that Knight guy dragged him to the town the griffin guy remembered.

The griffin guy was then thought to be mentally unstable when he talked about being in Equestria, and was sent to a mental insinuation and later died of aids that Neon gave him.

well, i have to admit. i'm starting to have fun writing these Chapters. it really is fun writing random stuff down, but making sense of it. however, this is just as a warning, but the next chapter is something i'm not perticularly proud of. not thats its bad , nor does it have bad jokes. its just that its somewhat really really random, and has no poniit of even being written, but i'm going to post it up for the fuck of it. speaking of hcpaters, tell me what is your Favorite chapters so far and why. comment below, let me know.

Chapter 9: the Birthday Problem.

(note: I really do apologize for this chapter.)

Ok now, this chapter or part of the story, will be non- cannon. Ok, so if you neither remember when Twilight finally fucking figured out that they never celebrated a birthday for me, nor did they ever had an age on me? Well, Twilight took this to princess Celestia.

I was just surprised that didn’t notice they never had a file on me at all while they were on the subject, because it was related to it.

Let me explain.

When I mean a file on me, I mean by a file on which I am and all that other shit. It also shows whom I’m related to and all that good shit, but since they never had a file on me, I didn’t have to worry about pretty much everything.

In addition, to let you know, I will come back to talk about the file thing, because there is something shocking about that file. Let just say, you will wonder whom the fuck I am after you hear it, however, that won’t be till the future. If you want to know, you just have to be patient.

Now, back to the story. As I was saying, Twilight took this up to Celestia, and she too had a little worried look on her face.
She then sent me a letter, asking about my birthday, age, and shit. The thing is, she felt bad for me, not having a single birthday, nor knowing my age.

The thing is, I don’t give a flaming fuck about my age. I mean, I sometimes lose track of my age.

Now, I was about over fifty five-thousand years old. Now, I know at the beginning of the story, I was over fifty thousand years, but trust me. I spend a lot of time outside of the universe then you think.

Well, after I told how I don’t give a fuck, the following day, I was ordered to go to Cantorlot to see Celestia and Twilight.

They were going to verify my age, although I don’t know how it was going to work, because I was basically over fifty five-thousand years old at this point, but my appearance looked about 21 years of age.

When I entered the castle, I was then gestured to take a seat on a pillow. Well, after I took a seat, Celestia ordered the doctors to come in and look at me.

Well, I was afraid of that. You want to know why? It’s because those off the grid powers. That syringe that I put in my blood vessels. That off the frid powers was in my blood stream.

However, fortunately enough, since pony anatomy, or at least in this universe, they don’t need to take a sample of my blood, because that’s not how checkups work in this universe. They took an x-ray picture of my bones and shit. When they were finished, they told me and Celestia I was 21 years old.

Good.

They even told me that my bones were about the right age for 22, and was surprisingly about to turn on the fourth anniversary mark when Celestia first found me out in the Everfree.

Well, Celestia then told me I could leave. I then had a feeling inside me that they felt bad for me not having a birthday at all, and they were going to throw me a surprise birthday party for me. I was even sure that Pinkie Pie was going to be making it happen. All I hoped was not to have trans-dimensional monsters and beings, due to pinkie pie breaking every law of physics, which means she could also go to other dimensions, and still not wonder where the fuck she is. Well, I was mostly right.

The party was at Cantorlot, and it wasn’t thrown by Pinkie. Although, it made me a little disappointed, because I do have to admit, that Pinkie Pie parties are pretty fun, along as no laws of physics are broken that would kill any normal, sane pony won’t happen, I love Pinkie Pie parties.

Now, before the party, I was smoking weed, while Wolf was getting drunk off his ass, or his wooden ass, which ever you prefer.

Well, my friend, Classy Jack and Forest Fire came to me to bring me to Cantorlot.

Heres what happened.

Celestia, planned this, along with Twilight of course, and sent letters to my friends, but surprisingly they were smart, because they noticed I never mentioned my age.

Heres what I mean. I explained the story, of how I met Celestia and Twilight, and explained all the things they ever did for me, although, I don’t know why I mentioned that, but moving on. The guys even asked me about my age and I had no answer for it. Therefore, it was quite fucking obvious for them that I didn’t even have a fucking birthday.

Well, I then went to Cantorlot, and It was in that ballroom, like in episode 9 season 2 where Twilight had her birthday at. They just jumped out from the darkness, or turned the lights on, and said surprise, and we had a birthday party.

Now I do know there isn’t much to talk about here, and there isn’t even a point to write this part of my life, but you’ll see why I had to write this down.

Heres the thing.

I was opening gifts.

Rainbow gave me a dumbbell, while applejack and Mac gave me some apples. (those fuckers.) In addition, of course, Twilight gave me a fucking book, but I gave it to her, because it seemed like she wanted the book as well.

Now the big thing here is Pinkie had a present for me, and it was in a separate room. Well, I went into the room, and there were monsters and other beings from other universes and Trans- dimensions.

Fuck.

In addition, I then asked Pinkie where she got them, and she said that she saw me go through the portals, or off the grid portals. Apparently, she saw, me, and went into other universes.

Now, the question is, how did she get through the other universes, because I don’t recognize any of the creatures.
Besides, if you remember one of the universal rules, that you have to open a patrol to a universe, with 117.

By the way, I also, which I know this has nothing to do with anything, but might as well, because, it is somewhat important.

Ok, so, if you recall one of the universal rules. That if you go to a universes, where the dominate species are different then what you are already, you’ll somewhat change into that species. Two things you might want to note, especially when we go into the future of the story.

One, there is an expectation to that rule, because sometimes, you will change into a different form of a creature, or stay the same. It just somehow happens at complete random.

Second, you know I’m a human, right? If you recall, that I was human before I entered the official MLP universe, and then came on the other side as a pony, right? Well, heres the thing. After I went through the portal, just one time, the next time I went through it, which was after TK found me. That when I ever wanted to go off the grid, I didn’t turn back to a human! I was still in my pony form, no matter what. I was only human when I ever went to an Earth universe. But everywhere else (that was a new universe I entered or just simply being off the grid.), I was in pony form.

Now, you might question that, and might try to figure out behind this mystery. Well, I already know the answer to why I was still in pony form, however, that would be spoiling it. Saying, you guys just have to guess until whenever I tell you why and how. Trust me, this makes it more fun for you, because it’ll make you think of what it could be and you might just have fun with it altogether.

Anyway, I was then shocked to find out that Pinkie knew about off the grid. I mean, she could know about it, it’s just that she and the others weren’t ready to be told. Although, I’m pretty sure it’s obvious how pinkie went through the other universes without using 117.

Pinkie Pie physics.

Well, I then told wolf to get over here, and he did. I then told him how Pinkie knows and the only thing we could do was call in TK and Factory Dash. With Doctor Whooves, well, he was busy doing The Doctor shit.

Therefore, however, I couldn’t contact TK or Factory Dash, because they weren’t picking up the call. By the way, when I mean the call, I mean by a device that I made myself, where it’s on my left foreleg and its basically a data/communication/etc. machine.

Anyways, I had to go back to the portal, and because I had to leave, that means Pinkie could leave anytime, possibly open up a portal to off the grid, or let the monsters outside, or simply spill the beans to everyone. I told Wolf to keep an eye on things while I was going. I then teleported to the portal, and to just let you know. I teleported by using my magic.

My magic has gotten quiet good during that time period.

I then went off the grid, and went to TK. I went into his universe, or Hell to be exact. He had his demon guards and people being tortured, but since I knew TK, I was simply not a bother at all, and was also greeted as a friend by the demons.

Trust me, it does sound weird, but it’s the truth since TK is the new Devil of this universe.

I found him in his lair, where he was a conference room, talking with God as in the christen God. Yea, heres the thing. TK had a good relationship with that god, but only because he was using the devil powers fairly and respectively, that he and god of that universe are on good terms.

Therefore, I came in, and I told TK what happened. He told god of that universe he had to postpone the meeting until he got back.

TK and I then headed off to get Factory Dash.

I went through the portal, and just like the demons, the guards here also greeted us like regulars. We had a hard time finding Factory Dash, because she was at work.

Of course, while we were trying to find her, we saw all the useless pegasi and other ponies that were being killed and turned into rainbows. Yea, were saw plenty of gore and blood and heard plenty of screams.

The way I do it was not to just stand there and just look horrified of what I was seeing, but just ignore it. That, and I was used to it.

Anyway, we eventually found her, killing a pony.

We told her to come, and she came when she finished killing the pony. We then all headed back to the official MLP universe, and what do you know when we get back?

We found Pinkie Pie released the monsters upon my friends and opened a portal to off the grid, and everybody went through it.

I fucking knew it. In addition, Wolf was knocked unconscious. I told TK and Factory Dash to take care of it, while I tried to bring wolf back to conscious.

When I did, he just stayed there until I finished the job. When I went through, hell’s gates were released upon every pony there.

That, and Pinkie and Neon were smiling away, while breaking laws of physics.

God, I will never fucking understand them.

Well, I then told TK and Factory dash what I had planned after we fought off these creatures. After I did that, we then fought off the creatures, or in other words, kill them. Of course, the others guys were surprised about this, and when we got them back to their universe, they had shocked faces.

I then told wolf how much how I still don’t understand pinkie got to open up a universal hold to get off the grid.

Then Celestia asked how I knew about the place. To which I then said, “sure, let me just… now!!!”

TK, Factory Dash, wolf, and I all put on gas masks, well except for TK, since he was a Devil, and still has the knight suit on of course.

Anyway, we put on the gas masks, and released a sleeping gas; thet would knock out someone, and make them forget the last 24 hours.

Everypony just collapsed to the floor. I then went and grabbed a machine, and connected to the bodies. I put a fake memory in their minds, so when they wake up, they have something to remember.

I then told TK to clean up the damage, Wolf to pick up the dead bodies, and Factory Dash to go around and make sure there were no witnesses. If there were, I told her she could keep them, and use them for her rainbows.

What?

I really don’t give a fuck about the snobby which people. Besides, this universe has enough snobby people with the snobby French. They did that, while I try to make it look like they had the fake memory I gave them.

I also have to comment, that day, was completely random. I mean, it reminds me of that power thirst 3 video I saw on YouTube.

It was completely random. Speaking of videos, I wonder how I still remember those effil65 songs, or for any videos for that matter.

Well, I don’t know why I just wrote that in here, but whatever. When I got back home, I just got drunk off my ass and smoked weed before falling asleep.

heres the videos what i was talking about. i don't if it'll help, but here it is anyway.

as i said before, i do aplogize for this chapter. however, if you didn't see this chapter as bad as i saw it, then thats your opinion, not mine, and i still feel bad for this chapter.

NOTE: After looking back on this 5 and a half years later...I just want to go back in time and punch myself my past self because this was retarded...what was I thinking?...

So to be clear about all of this, this is the first of the re-edits (Presented to you in HD) and if you would like to see the original, it'll be linked...

HERE...

Character Commentary Here...

Well, we finally continued with history repeating itself. Ain’t that a son of a bitch? But hey, that’s how the Universe was treating me, like a fucking dog. The minute I think I can live, it keeps putting me down. I think that’s a good analogy. Whatever, when this day came, it was all about repeating Episode 6, Boast Busters. Not the greatest of all episodes to repeat, but hey, it couldn’t be any worse than Mare Do Well, am I right? Sad part is though, I jinxed myself a long ass time ago, but eh, what do I care anymore?

In addition, just to let you know how everybody went with his or her fake memories, it was ok. Although, Arrell has a little hazy memory of those events, but doesn’t remember it completely, so we’re good. If he does remember it, then I’m sorry, but I have to put him down. The Jews don’t want him to remember.

If he knows too much then it will ruin the Jews’ plan and all of their sheckles will have been meant for nothing. I mean what Jewish conspiracy? The Jews weren’t kicked out of 106 countries. It is definitely was the 6 million that died and not just a front for the mafia so they can get a tax write off as a business expanse every time they eat at a Subway.

Shhhhh, the Jew nose, and you do not.

Anyways, after the last time I had to repeat an episode form the show in this world, I was given a letter by Celestia to practice some magic. She gave me something’s that I could practice with as well as a letter from Twilight where she gave me some suggestions on what schedule I could go on and what I could to better myself and my self esteem. And in at the end she gave a little heart, implying that crush she had on me then was still strong as steel.

Spike even wrote a letter, written in crayon and looked like it was written by a retarded child that was meant to be put down, but then the mother said, “But my baby is perfect. There’s nothing wrong with my baby. Look at it, it’s beautiful” as the child has bulged out eyes and a lisp with a survival chance of less than point five percent. Yeah we’re talking about that kind of child.

Anyways, Wolf got a letter from Spike on what he could do to help me, but at the end of the day Wolf just pukes up the letter whenever he pukes up last night’s drinks. To put it simply, Wolf hates how Celestia made it to where Wolf can receive letters. But sometimes it is an amusement to me to watch Wolf forcibly upchuck paper against his own will. It gives me a chuckle every now and then and reminds there is a little hope in this world.

I know it sounds like I’m an asshole, but hey, come on… we’re all a little bit of an asshole at heart. Except for Jack, he was a one hundred percent asshole. And he was proud of it to, in which case… fair enough? Anyways, in the end Wolf didn’t read Spike’s letter as it just gets mixed in with the puke and it gets fucked up to where you can barely read it, so it didn’t matter much anyways.

And to add insult to the wound, I didn’t care about the letters as usual. I just threw it to the side lines as usual. Besides, doesn’t she know how powerful my magic already is? Well, she probably does, but she thinks I can improve, in which case that’s true, but do I care? Nope, by this point, I’m only here for the free housing and money that gets sent to me every now and then from them while the Universe pegs me from behind.

See, I’m not all fucked, sure the Universe is metaphorically raping me from my ass, but at least I get free stuff out of the tax payer’s money. Now morally that’s wrong and under normal circumstances I would actually care and get a separate job to support myself, but this isn’t normal circumstances. This is a land where colorful talking ponies that use magic are involved, so to that, I’d say give me all the free shit that you can give me and I’ll make the best of it.

I mean I’m not upset about the whole talking pony thing, I’m just upset that I don’t get to go my own way and have to instead relive the episodes. I mean it would be cool I guess if it was with the Elements of Harmony, but at the end of the day, that is not case. Instead, I’m living through twisted versions of the episodes from the show, and sometimes I wonder if the Universe itself is a Brony, you know? Who knows, maybe the Universe is a clopper as well, and cloppers usually get defensive about their fetish so I better shut my mouth now.

I’m kidding, I’m kidding… except for the clopper part. Look, you want to fuck a horse’s ass, I get it. There are live horses where you are at, just go over there and let the horse peg you because I know you’re a sicko that’s into that sick shit. Just don’t come complaining to me when a baby horse pops out of your asshole nine months later.

Anyways, still I didn’t care about Celestia’s letters. I mean, I have over a thousand spells written and created by me. Well not really, those numbers are inflated in hopes the description for the journal sells. Really it was like a couple of hundred spells that were created by me and half of it was for the convenience of me and Wolf, but mostly me, and sometimes only for Wolf. Hey, that weed and sometimes alcohol has to come from somewhere you know.

And the princesses don’t give me and Wolf enough bits every two weeks to spend it on fancy things. I have to pay bills every now and then. I need to pay a “tax” that is really just a money laundering scheme to the town of Stalia. Well anyway, I just ended up smoking weed while Wolf got drunk.

But that’s not how I’m starting this part of my life off. Oh no, we’re starting off somewhere else… the day when we repeated Episode 6: Boast busters… and it was in the morning…

I had just gotten up, started off my day, the usual shit. I had a cup of coffee, and yes I drink coffee. I know, shocking. It doesn’t seem like I would go for coffee, but every now and then I’ll go for it, as long as it isn’t from StarCucks… Starbuck’s sister location.

Anyways, that’s not good enough; let’s see where I should start specifically… I got it. Ok so it was a bright and sunny morning, everything was calm and fine, nothing to note about. It’s just one of those every day mornings where everyone goes about their business and it’s just an ordinary day. That or at least it feels just like any other day.

Everything was going inside the house slash the library; even to this day I forget it’s supposed to be the town’s library that I’ll just endlessly repeat myself on that fact. Anyways, everything was fine inside the house, well… except for the living area. It was a bit of a mess, and while I am a tad bit guilty of messing with it, it was mostly Wolf’s fault… that fucking wooden son of a bitch.

And speaking of Wolf, he was lying down on his wooden back, all relaxed and chilled and just melting on the couch, taking up all of the space. He even had a little smile sitting on his face as his eyes were covered with a pair of sunglasses, pretty much trying to hide his eyes as he was smoking on a familiar green plant I’m sure you all know by now. Although to be fair, Wolf’s eyes get a little reddish when he’s smoking weed, but for the most part it’s just the same light green color just like the other timber wolves. I’m not even sure why he was doing it because no one else really cared. But I suppose with Wolf, he was always the ones trying to go for looks, especially if there was a mare that happened to come by, he would want to make himself prepared at all times, despite ninety percent of time he wasn’t.

And as for me, I was outside, checking my mailbox, as all the ponies walked by me and went on with their day and I kept to mine. And as soon as I had checked the mail, I opened the door, walked in as I was using my magic to flip through the mail. I had a bit of a disgruntled, but mostly dull look on my face as it was unamusing to me with that I had gotten in the mail. Over all it was just mostly either Junk mail or bills with the occasional small packages such as a postcard from someone or Wolf taking all the bits and ordering from a catalogue because he so needs that cocktail blender, fucking Wolf, that wooden motha fucka... But then again that was a very good blender. Small and reliable, very nice shit I must say.

But that’s beside the point though, the mail was mostly the same shit, just on a different day is all. So as I was walking through, flipping through the mail, I also used my magic to close the door behind me, so no one could be an asshole and look into our private lives, not that we had one of much anyways to begin with. And it’s not like it was interesting to begin with, but whatever, you got to close that door or else Mr. Johnson from next door is just going to come in and take all the sugar… that’s my sugar you fucking bitch. You get a cup when I tell you that you can, you diabetic… fat lard piece of shit. Good thing Mr. Johnson is only part of my imagination.

Anyways, after flipping through felt like a ton of mail, even though it was only 7 envelopes in total, I said to Wolf, while continuing to eye at the bills that had just came in, “Junk, junk, bill, bill, bill, junk, and more bills. You’d think being the town’s only library that they would cut us a break and lower what we owe, but Stalia is a bitch.”

I had said it with a bit of an annoyed expression on my face. And after I had said that, Wolf then rose his head up and starred at me with his sun glasses still on and said to me, “You’re still paying bills? I thought you paid those last month?”

I then said to Wolf as I had lowered the mail down a little bit and started walking towards him and around the couch, “Yeah I did. It’s called a monthly payment; you pay the city every month if you want a place to live in. And if it’s not the city it’s the bank, or a land owner or whoever owns your ass.”

I had said that while rolling my eyes at Wolf, as Wolf then asked me in his drug minded state, “Well at least you get the water and gas for free right?”

His eyes were following me as I was walking around the couch to be in front of him and talk to him about the bills a little bit.

I had then said to him while rolling my eyes a little bit again towards him, “No Wolf, that’s extra.”

Wolf then said to me, pretty much high off his mind as he could be, “Whhaaaaaaaattttt? That’s… that’s bullshit man. That’s not right. We need to go out and… start a riot over that shit and have them change that cause that shouldn’t… I don’t know… happen or some shit.”

As Wolf was in the middle of his little comment, he had used his wooden timber wolf paws to grab a lighter off the table and use his other paw to light the bud that he had also grabbed off the coffee table and get his buzz on.

I then said to him, “Yeah well that fantasy land sounds nice and all, but this is reality, and reality is a business, so they charge for everything you do. And even then I’m not even mad at the bills, I’m mad at you.”

I had a little bit of an angered look towards Wolf as I then used my magic to take his little green bud away from his mouth as well as removing his sun glasses. And as those things were floating away from him, he had a look of a bit of sadness form on his face as he tried to reach out for those items, but he was on his wooden back and his timber wolf paws were just not long enough for him to reach out and take it from me.

I think he even made a slight noise too while doing so, but I didn’t care as I just threw it to the side to where he couldn’t get to it.

And as soon as I had done so, he quickly looked at me with a sad, yet questioning face on and looked into my eyes with his eyes and said to me, “Awwwww… come on Knight, why do you have to be that way? I thought we were smoking buddies?”

I then said to him, with still my slightly angered face on, “We are, but I’m the one that has to be in charge here since this is our lives now. And I don’t think we can escape it either.”

That last bit I had rolled my eyes up, towards the ceiling, pretty much referring to the Universe and how it wouldn’t let me be on my own.

Wolf then said to me as my eyes returned to his eyes for attention, “You mean that whole universe thing? Don’t worry about it. And besides, you need to relax, chill on the couch and let the day pass you by and stuff.”

Wolf had said his bit with a relaxing, a bit of a charming smile on his face and eyes.

I then said to him, “Yeah the Universe doesn’t allow me to chill Wolf. Whatever it wants me to do; I’ll have to do it.”

Wolf then said to me with a bit of a curious look on his face, “Well what about you back before you came here then? Surely you were relaxed and cool then right and you can be relaxed and cool now?”

I then said to him, “Well back then Wolf, I was a kid that got into things that I should or should not have gotten into. Not only that, but I had TK, Factory Dash and… Lawman… by my side to sort of help me out. But now I’m kind of alone and stuck with you as TK and Factory Dash do their own thing. So I have to be the one that takes charge.”

I had said that Lawman bit with a sigh, mostly because it was kind of still hurtful to think about him still being gone even by then.

However, Wolf then said to me, “Well how about those new friends of yours, Arrell, the red neck one, that grey guy, that red creature and uhh… that green fella.”

I then said to Wolf, “They are not my friends Wolf. I’m only here because the show is repeating itself and the Universe sort of forced me to be here. We just need to hold out like I said until maybe Season 3… maybe 4 of the show then we’ll be done and we can maybe do our little trip around Equestria.”

Wolf then had a little smile on his face as he then said to me, “You still want to do that? That was like… seven or so years ago.”

I then said to him with my head hanging down a little bit and also a somewhat disappointing look on my face with a hint of depression, “Yeah, I know…”

I then looked back into Wolf’s eyes and said to him with determination, “But until then we need to talk.”

Wolf then asked me as he relaxed himself on the couch and repositioned himself by putting his long wooden back legs on the coffee table, putting his paws around the back of his head with a smirk and just kicking back, “Talk about what Knight?”

I then yelled at him while spreading my right pony forearm around, “THIS WOLF! THIS FUCKING MESS!”

Wolf then said to me calmly with a straight look, “Well some of this stuff is yours too you know.”

I then said to him with a bit of fury in my eyes as I moved closer to him and put my left hoof on his wooden chest, “It’s only three or four things! The rest of this is your shit! You have greased up tinfoil wrap and empty dirty bags everywhere, a half eaten burger, three molding pizzas, and a few dead half eaten rats!”

Wolf then calmly said to me, “Well the rats were asking for it once they started eyeing for my moldy pizza.”

I then brought up to Wolf as I brought the bills back out and put in front of his face, “AND SECOND THING, YOU NEED TO SLACK OFF THE SHIT WOLF! THE BILLS ARE HIGH ENOUGH AS IT IS!”

Wolf then calmly said as he was casually looking at his left wooden paw, “Please, it isn’t that much.”

I then opened up the bills from their respective envelopes and started listing off the prices, “Water, three hundred bits, gas; four hundred and fifty two bits; electricity, eight hundred and thirty eight bits; garbage, two hundred and fourteen bits!? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GET THAT HIGH OF A BILL FOR THE FUCKING GARBAGE PICK UP WOLF!? IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE AT A STEADY THRITY BITS A MONTH!?”

Wolf then said to me while eyeing me with a serious look, “Well maybe the garbage ponies shouldn’t be taking my shit every week.”

I then yelled at Wolf, “THAT SHIT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THROWN OUT!?”

Wolf then said to me, “Well they shouldn’t try to attack me. Those garbage ponies are racist against timber wolves you know?”

I then continued to have a face of fury as I then said to Wolf, “YOU ATTACKED THEM WOLF!”

Wolf then said to me with a smug look, “And do you have any proof to back up those claims?”

I then said to him, “THEY SEND PICTURES OF YOU ATTACKING THEM EVERY WEEK!?”

I then showed him a picture that was attached to a letter of complaint from them that was provided by the garbage ponies, where it shows that Wolf in a very drunken state clearly attacking the garbage ponies dressed up in blue jump suits, both normal, typical everyday looking stallions, who were trying to do their job, in horror as they were trying to run away with shock and fear on their faces from Wolf.

Wolf then was silent for a bit, and had a bit of a worried slash disappointed look on his face as he then said to me, “Huh… Well can’t you just pay for the bills anyways? Doesn’t the city pay you for being the librarian of Stalia?”

I was then calmed down a bit as I then proceeded to put down the bills and said to Wolf, “Yeah… they do… but they only give me twenty one bits.”

Wolf then said with a curious look on his face, “Why only twenty one?”

I then said to Wolf, “Because the mayor is cheap and gives me an I.O.U. in the mail every payday.”

Wolf then said, “Oh… well about Celestia’s payment to you?”

I then said to Wolf, “Yeah, but she only gives me just barely enough to pay to live here. But we do get a discount when it comes to the property taxes at least since I’m still a sort of student of hers, so I get it as a tax write off, but still.”

Wolf then asked me with a bit of a hopeful smile on his face while he moved his right wooden paw around, “Well can’t you use your magic an make a spell to counterfeit bits or something.”

I then said to Wolf, “I already have a spell for that. And I don’t feel like using it. And besides I think there’s a limit to it anyways and the banks can find out that it’s fake anyways. So it wouldn’t really matter. And if you want a moral reason too, we would be adding inflation. Sure maybe not much, but that’s still bad for everyone else.”

Wolf then said, “Oh… well that’s disappointing.”

Wolf had said that with a sad; disappointingly look on his face as we had both calmed down from our heated discussion.

And then a moment of silence came around for a few seconds… until Wolf came out of nowhere like it seemed and asked me with a smile, “So you want to get high right now?”

I had just looked at him with an emotionless expression, and I think you know the answer to that.

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic: Universal Magic: Episode 10: Boast Busters Your Blue Balls:

And from there, we continue to where we left off at… yeah I don’t know why I put that little… Episode thingy there… it’s kind of nice. But at the same time, it speaks volumes, it says something about society and… uhh… shit, I guess.

Anyways, if you couldn’t guess what my answer was to Wolf after he asked me if I wanted to get high with him, the answer was as clear as day and obvious… the answer was yes. So I took a joint from the coffee table, got on the couch, grabbed the lighter I threw to the ground after Wolf was pissing me off, and me and Wolf just blazed the morning away.

Me and Wolf had our legs put up on the coffee table as our muscles relaxed and we unwounded our minds and thoughts from throughout the past days. Our backs were completely flattened out with our heads facing the ceiling. And Wolf had his sunglasses back on as well while I started to have a little red coming into my eyes, as we were relaxing and just talking to each other, with the conversation going in whatever direction it decided to go and just not worrying about a single thing.

And it went on for a good chuck of the morning as well. Although I ain’t detailing everything we said, so let me give you a hint as to what was going on towards the end of our talks, because I can do whatever I want… and you can’t, because I said so. Well unless you’re the Jews, the Jews eventually finds out about it one way or another; especially the big, long, nosed ones that are big enough to where you can smoke a cigar in the rain without putting out the fire.

Sounds ridiculous, but hey they exist somewhere in the middle of the desert. Don’t believe me; go ask some guy with the last name Goldstein, all Goldstein’s know about this stuff. Although some might try to deny that claim, so you didn’t get it from me or else they’re coming after me for sure. Shhhh… ok back to what I was doing, oh right, me and Wolf’s conversations. Well I guess I’ll have to choose a point to start at uhhh hmmmm, ok, so after like two hours of talking to each other, we ended up taking a moment of silence. Just laying there, letting our minds run away with whatever was coming up in our heads and shit.

And eventually after like five minutes of silence, Wolf spoke up to me as the silence in the room started to envelope me and my mind, “Hey Knight?”

I then had said calmly to him as the drugs had well taken affect and calmed my senses, especially my sense towards Wolf and how he was acting, “What is it?”

Wolf then said to me, also in his drugged out tone of voice, almost as if he was drunk in a way, but a calm, sleepy drunk you could say, “Do you ever think about your life back on Earth?”

I then said to him, “Wh-what do you mean by that Wolf?”

Wolf then said to me, “I mean like… do you ever think about the people you left and think about how you used to be?”

I was then silent for a bit, trying to think about an answer as my mind was wandering amongst other things, but I did my best to concentrate on the topic, so I responded to him with, “I don’t know. I mean I forget about it most of the time.”

Wolf then said to me, “Well… I mean… when you do think about it… what do you think?”

I then said to him, while still in my manipulated state of mind, “Jeez Wolf, you’re asking some hard questions there. Ummm… Well to be begin with, like I said, I don’t think about it that often, I just uhhh… forget you know? It’s been so long, so many… years since I’ve been there. Last thing I can recall is that I finished my first years of high school or my second maybe… and I found the portal, went my own way, and soon before you know it, I’m here smoking a green one with you Wolf.”

Wolf then said to me while looking at the ceiling still, “Yeah but… what about the ones that you were close to?”

I then told Wolf, “I don’t even… remember those people anymore. All I know is that I was close to them but over time I drifted further and further apart from them. And eventually I just wiped their memories of me away and ran away from it. Never looking back.”

Wolf then asked me, “Do you ever wish that you could ever meet them again, at least one of them?”

I then said to him after taking a minute to think about Wolf’s question, “Yeah… the more I think about that, the more I don’t. Probably because I am long gone from that period. I mean it was a short period from my life compared to the rest of it, it’s more or less a blip in my history.”

And then it went all back to silence.

And as the silence took me over, I thought what I had said some more and I then spoke up to break the silence and said to Wolf, “But you know what I do miss though Wolf from that little time in my life?”

Wolf then said to me, “What is that then?”

I then took my time and said to Wolf, “I miss the summer nights. I oddly remember that the most about my time from there. I mean even before finding TK, I used to stay up all night long, play some games, relax and watch some movies, sometimes all night long and watching series of movies. I remember even being outside during those summer nights and uhh… it was just one of those nights you know. Everything is calm and relaxed; you’re hearing crickets somewhere, but not sure where it is. You might even be able to see some stars out, the good shit. And you just let the night and the atmosphere take you in. You even get a smell for that sweet summer night air… all that good shit. That I do miss.”

I had a little smile on my face while saying that to Wolf, a kind of smile that you could tell with just one look that I was remembering something very nostalgic and that it was taking me back to a much more simpler time for me in my mind. For a few seconds, my mind was starting to be tricked into thinking that it was those old days again. But then I quickly shook my head after realizing I didn’t finish what I had to say to Wolf.

The smile quickly went away and transformed into a more serious face as I said to Wolf, “But I uhh… don’t know if I would want to go back to it. Honestly, I think I’d prefer being here than there right now, despite all the shortcomings that I have received.”

Wolf then started to change the subject on me as he then asked me, “Well what games was it that you played?”

I then gave a little burst of laughter, a small one that wasn’t too loud with a little smile upon my face as I then said to Wolf, “Well I don’t know about that. I would have to remember what years it was. Ummm… let me think uhh… I think it might have been 2011, 2012, something like that. I think one of those games was Minecraft I’m sure. Yeah I’m sure of it; it was popular during those days.”

Wolf then said to me, “Minecraft? Well what’d you do in that game?”

I then said to Wolf, “It was a free for all, do what you want, build what you want out of scuffed Lego blocks. I played it on an Xbox 360.”

Wolf then said to me as he started to have a little smile on his face, “Wow… that sounds kind of gay.”

I then quickly sat up by bringing up my back and holding myself up with one of my hooves and gave a weird look to Wolf and I then said to him, “Gay? I mean I know the 360 was kind of gay, but certainly wasn’t all the way gay.”

I then thought about it for a moment after saying that and then a thought had hit me, and then a little angered look came on to my face as I had then realized and said to Wolf, “Wait a minute… you don’t even know what a 360 is!”

Wolf then said to me, while remaining lying down, “Well when you take me out to the outside of the universe to have some fun I will. But from what you described, it sounds kind of gay.”

I thought about it some more and I then said to him, and went back to a more calm, ok face that you would give when someone finally tells you that they fucked your sister last night, but you claim that they couldn’t because she is dead. But then that someone tells you that they went and dug up her grave and rapped it while doing it anally with no Vaseline, and then after thinking about it, you come to accept that it is plausible that someone could have done it, you just accept it. Yeah, that kind of an ok look is what I had on my face.

I then said to Wolf, “Well, it was kind of gay, but only with the Kinect. You kind of looked like a gay asshole while doing… whatever with it. Now the Wii, now that was gay.”

Wolf then said to me, “Even the name sounds gay.”

I then said to Wolf, “I know, you basically held a long white stick, or a black one, in your hand and do certain hand motions with it.”

Wolf then said to me, “Oh that sounds definitely gay.”

I then responded with, “And sometimes you would have to put a condom on it too so you could get a good grip on it.”

Wolf then said to me, “Now that sounds super gay.”

And I then said to Wolf, “And I think the only game that I had with was Brawl and Kirby.”

Wolf then just simply said, “Supr Ultra Gay.”

I then said to Wolf, “Well I wouldn’t go that far, I mean I know brawl had its problems, and Melee was certainly the better one, but uhh… Brawl had its moments… I think. It had Sonic so that remains questionable. Oh wait you mean Kirby… yeah that is Super Ultra Gay. All Kirby does is suck on guys for the entire game and he’s pink. I mean he just wants those guys inside of him all the time. But I’ll tell you what wasn’t gay though… Superman 2, the director’s cut on blu-ray on PS3, the best game ever made for that’s system.”

Wolf then said to me, “Now that doesn’t sound gay at all. Sounds like it should be on a top 10 list.”

I then let the silence return and take us back into its embrace as I continued to be in the position that I was in. And after thinking about it, the words top ten lists got me thinking about how the internet was back before I had left.

I had then said to Wolf, “Top ten lists? Now I’m starting to remember all those top ten videos on YouTube. Those were some days, that’s for sure. It was like everything had a top ten. Top ten games of the sixth gen. Top ten movies of this year. Top ten cars of this decade. Top ten presidents of the United States. I think most of it came out for a quick buck too. It was cheap, easy to make, and raked in those views.”

I then thought about something for a few seconds and an idea came to mind as I then asked Wolf, “Say Wolf, what is your top ten list?”

Wolf then asked me with a bit of confusion in his voice, “Top 10? Top 10 for what?”

I then thought about it for a few quick seconds and quickly came up with, “Top ten of uhhh… top ten mares that you would fuck the most.”

Wolf then said to me, with a smile forming across his face, “Now that I like. Let me think, there was a lot of sweet asses out there. I guess those two twins from the Celestia’s school I would put at 10 and 9. At 8, I would put down that marefriend of yours Twilight.”

I then said to him with a quick and dead straight remark, “She isn’t my girlfriend. She wishes though…”

Wolf then said to me, “Whatever. 7 would be that cheerleader, whatever her name was. I fucked her once though, had a nice ass. 6 Would be Cadence when she came over the one time. I know she’s married and all, but if I could get her to cheat on her husband with me, it would be perfect. 5 would be that hot stripper I met at that club and was lucky enough to bang.”

I then also said quickly and dead straight forward to Wolf with, “That was a dream that you had last week.”

Wolf then said to me, “And I would bang her again regardless. 4 would be Miss Hot.”

I then said to Wolf, with once again a dead straight face, “That was from a magazine… from over seventy years ago… that you found in the dumpster next to the old abandoned sex toys shop near down town in Stalia… yesterday.”

Wolf then just said to me, “And I would still probably bang her if she was in front of me.”

I then said to Wolf, “If she was, she’s probably be really old”

Wolf then said to me, “Eh, I’ve done worse.”

I then said to Wolf, “Or she is nothing but dust or a rotting corpse, slowly withering away in an unmarked grave somewhere in the local graveyard.”

Wolf then said to me, “Eh, beggars can’t be chooser.”

Wolf then continued to say calmly, like what he had just said was normal, and to be fair for him it is normal, “3 would be Fluttershy just because she’s into animals.”

I then said to Wolf, “She isn’t into bestiality.”

Wolf then said to me, “Well I like to fantasy about her, me tying her up, and forcing myself into her. Oh yeah that sounds like a lot of fun.”

I then said to Wolf, “That’s considered rape. And you only met her that one time.”

Wolf then said, “Not if she enjoys it. 2 Would be Celestia because of that nice big ass of hers. And my top 1 would be Molestia, because she’s my bitch… and I’m her bitch too.”

I then said to Wolf, “Uhhh huh…”

Wolf then asked me, “So what about you, what’s your top 10 uhhh… I don’t know uhhh… ponies?”

I then said to him, “Well I really don’t know about that since times have change, so I guess I’ll have to go by my old list from Earth. Ten would be Cadence, nine would be Derpy, eight would be Vinyl. Seven would be Trixie, six would be Rarity, five would be Fluttershy, four would be Pinkie, three would be Celestia, two would be Rainbow Dash, and one would be Luna, and only because of the night relations. I kind of have a soft spot for that stuff.”

Wolf then had a little smirk on his face as he then said to me, “Oh, so that’s who you would fuck huh?”

I then said to him with a little annoyed face, “Wolf, I swear to…”

And then our little conversation was interrupted when a loud knock came on our door. It was very sudden and felt like it came from out of nowhere, yet that’s kind of how knocks on the door goes. In fact, it was that kind of knock where someone can develop PTSD from it, or at least pretend to, and when the girl scouts come a knocking on their front door, they can yell like a banshee and sue the ever believer fuck out of them for doing so.

Oh wait… never mind, it was that kind of knock so there you go. And when the knock on my front door happened, it felt like it came from out of nowhere, my head turned and my expression changed into a curious look as I wasn’t expecting anyone at my door at that time. For Wolf however, the knock startled him, or at least that’s putting it lightly.

What really happened with Wolf was once the knocking came from the door, Wolf’s emotions changed from a chilling, relaxed look on his face to a scared and worried look on his face from zero to sixty real quick. And all the while he quickly rolled over and fell face first on to the hard floor as he made a little yelp sound. And after being on the ground for a quick second or two, I turned my head towards him in curiosity as I was wondering what was going on with him.

And soon before you knew it, Wolf quickly got up and said as he struggled to gather all of the green shit that was lying nearby and making an attempt to gather all of it all with his wooden paws, “AH FUCK IT’S THE FUZZ!”

However, he was more or less clumsy with his movements as well failing to realize he has no thumbs, so he was automatically inferior as a living thing, as some of the buds fumbled from his grasp. However, Wolf didn’t seem to notice that he was being careless with his precious drugs and just stared at me with a state of worry etched deep into his face.

And as he was staring at me with his big green eyes, he looked towards me and said, somewhat being loud in his tone of voice, “Quick knight, you stall them for as long as you can while I go to the bathroom and flush the evidence! Remember Knight, they can’t come into your home without you inviting them in first, that’s the law!”

And then Wolf, while trying his best to move on a constant rotating of two to three legs, made a run for the bathroom, or at least as fast he could since the balance was a bit off for him.

And as he was on his way to the bathroom as my eyes followed him, not saying a single word towards him, he then briefly stopped in his tracks, turned his head towards me with a state of worry still on his face, and said to me quickly, “And remember not to buy into their scam! Whatever they say to you, don’t trust the lemon cookies, it’s not what you think it is, IT’S A LIE!”

And then Wolf, without giving any context to what he was saying to me about, ran off up the stairs to the bathroom on the second floor, and all I had to say under my breath was, “Typical Wolf…”

And so with Wolf out of the picture, I calmly shook my head, got up from the couch and hopped down lightly on to the floor, and headed towards the front door.

And just to also let you know, that I had been smoking weed a lot, and it’s not for comedic proposes, but it is somewhat is relaxing. It really takes the edge off sometimes, that and I feel like I’m rebelling against the system you know? I know by this point it doesn’t matter in my life, but eh, makes me feel like I’m still a teen back on earth. It makes me feel cool and that I’m hanging out with the cool kid that my parents and teachers tell me that is a bad influence on me, that bad influence being Wolf.

And let me tell ya, he is a bad influence indeed. I mean I wouldn’t listen to the wooden fuck if he told me to jump off a bridge, but I would probably end up, I don’t know, staying up pass curfew if it came to that situation.

Yeah, take that society, thinking you can tell me what to do and when to go to bed. Fuck you! I’ll go to bed when I want to go to bed. I AM YOUNG AS THE NIGHT BABY! Sorry, I think I had a little too much to drink last night. Celestia wouldn’t let me have any alcohol so I had to go to rubbing alcohol. I know it isn’t much and you can barely get a buzz on, but it does the trick though. And the best part, Celestia doesn’t know. Although she is going to get suspicious about where the alcohol is going to so I’ll have to find an alternative soon.

Anyways, I headed towards the door, calmly and taking my time despite the ones on the other end have been patiently been waiting for me. And when I got to the door, I simply opened it.

And all of a sudden, two colts, or I believe the correct term is colt. I don’t know. Two small boy children. Whatever. Two colts came up to my door and was standing right in front of me. One was a tall small boy child while the other one was shorter and more pudgy like. The tall was one a weird lime green color while the other one was a light red-ish red colored, with both their manes being short and colored to their opposite coat color.

However their body features were a bit odd. The tall one looked like he was born in an inbred family from West Virginia, and then somehow again in the state of Vermont. He also had that weird lip going on where the bottom portion overlaps the top part. And the short one looked like Igor from the many cartoon parodies of Frankenstein. You name it, the one big eye with the one small eye, crooked, overgrown teeth, and a weird back problem going on. Anyways, they told me to come and see the magnificent Harry.

I’m not kidding. That’s the Trixie pony for me. His name is fucking Harry. Of course, that sounds like Harry Potter, since he’s a unicorn and all.

There’s just one problem though. He’s not British. I mean, I always joked back on earth, that all British people are all wizards and go to Hogwarts. I also joked that Rarity had a British voice accent a little, and I just said she was a wizard. I even gave her a somewhat funny back story. She was once owned by harry Potter.

I also had one for Fluttershy as well.

The thing is with this one, is that the reason she is shy and is because she is trying to forget painful memories that she had when she was in the Vietnam War. Don’t ask where that came from. Although it doesn’t really compare to a hambone skeleton in a wheelchair that was also in Vietnam. Which reminds me… of something… that I probably shouldn’t mention right now…

Anyways, I stared at the two small boy children with a confused look on my face and I kindly asked the two, “What do you two want?”

I had said it was a bit of a disgruntled tone in my voice, but just enough to make it seem that I still cared and was curious about it all, like hope, but hope always die in the end, just like for my will to live some days.

Well I asked the question and the small red one said in a sort of stereotypical Igor accent, “Ah yes, good day good gentlecolt. My name is Dog, and my friend here next to me is named Tails. Say hello tails.”

Dog had a creepy, almost sinister like smile going on while talking to me, as his big oversized eye was starting to freak me out. However, I kept my cool and carried on while the two small boy children continued to introduce themselves.

Anyway, Dog was looking at Tails for him to respond and Tails simply said while looking like Wolf if he was high but also had a mental disability, “Argh, argh, Argh, Agh agh!”

While Tails was trying to speak to me, he was pointing in random direction with his hooves, while still looking calm, relaxed, and a little bit happy, even though he was probably being tormented on the inside just like the rest of us. That’s how you know that we are all the same on the inside.

Well, I started to squint my eyes a bit towards the two small boy children as I asked the rounded one, “Is there something that I should know about him?”

Dog then said to me, with a bit of a disappointed look on his face, “Ah yes, he has a condition that is irreversible. Let’s just say the gene pool was a little short for him and in the end had to be raised by animals in the woods. Don’t think about it; just know that he is the result from an unfortunate experiment from two lovers of the same blood.”

I then stared at Dog and then asked him, “Why haven’t I seen you two here before?”

I was starting to get mighty suspicious of them, even though they were pretty much the snips and snails for me. In fact, that seemed to make sense. It really does if you think about snips and snails.

Anyways, Dog then said, back to his suspicious, sinister smile, “Well we just happened to be in the neighborhood and decided to come by and drop you a message.”

I then asked him with still my squinting eyes, keeping my line of sight on them and taking for what they had to say with a grain of salt, “What message?”

Dog then said to me, with a bit of a surprise in his tone, “Why for you to come out and see the Magnificent Harry of course!”

I then asked him, “Who the fuck is he? Some guy who won’t come out of the closet from underneath the stairs?”

Dog then said with an optimistic tone, “Why of course not! He is the Magnificent Harry, the most powerful magician of all in Equestria! The one who can beat anypony at any game they choose! Someponies even say he can even move the moon without any assistance from the Princess of the Night!”

I then went from looking at the two small boy children and raised my head up and just stared into empty space for a bit so I could think this all through in my head.

And in my head, I was saying to myself, ‘Well son of a bitch, I guess this isn’t my day today. This is the day I guess where history repeats itself. It is weird reliving the episodes from the show though; I wonder how this’ll turn out though for this one? It might be small and easy, it might not. I mean I rather just stay in all day and call in sick, but I’m pretty sure the Universe is going to force me to go out today regardless if I like to or not. So I guess I’m going out one way or another, either through guns ablazing or going out and repeating history. I wonder what would happen if I did fight the universe though? Should I tempt that fate? Hmmm… probably not, I’d get my ass kicked. But still, it sounds like I’ll have to deal with this one and be in the spotlight… again…’

And so I went out of my own train of thought, looked back down on to the two small boy children and looked them right in the eye and said while having a face filled with determination on my face, “Alright then, take me to him then. I’m willing to take him on and put him in his place.”

I even had a little smirk on my face going on as well, but the two small boy children were looking at me funny.

Well Tails wasn’t, but Dog was, and Dog just simply looked at me and said, “Well he is out in the middle of Stalia were everypony has gathered to see him perform, so I’m sure you can find your way.”

But then Dog returned back to his sinister looking smile and then said to me, “But we’ll see you there though. And when you do come, you shall be amazed and astonished by the amazing feat of the Magnificent…”

I then slammed the door on the two small boy children as my expression of determination disappeared and Dog just simply said as he was cut off, but still finished his sentence with, “Oh… uhh… ok then. Well we’ll see you there!”

And then the two small boy children left as I then quickly turned around towards the direction where Wolf went to get rid of the evidence and yelled out to him while placing my right hoof around my mouth, like what human beings do from time to time for whatever reason, “Hey Wolf, are you finished yet!?”

Wolf then yelled back at me from all the way from the bathroom, in which case apparently he used the upstairs bathroom, “Not yet! Are they gone!”

I then yelled back towards Wolf, “Yeah it was just two kids that was at the door!”

Wolf then said to me, “So that’s what they’re doing nowadays huh! They’re using midgets to trick ya, I told ya knight, don’t trust them!”

I was going to argue to Wolf that it was just the two kids and not the fuzz, but I decided not to because it was pointless to rage against the machine like that.

So I then just yelled back to Wolf, “Yeah, you were right Wolf, those midgets were suspicious!”

Wolf then yelled back towards me, “What did I tell ya! You know, I remember seeing a midget once back when I was living in the Everfree, he was trying to sell me insurance for…”

I then yelled back towards Wolf and cut him off as I was about to head out the door, “I’m going to stop you right there Wolf, I’m leaving, history is repeating itself again. I’m going to go see some pony who just came out of the closet and is doing “magic” tricks out in public! Do what you want, just don’t burn everything down before I get back!”

I had a little bit of an annoyed look on my face while yelling that back to Wolf.

However, Wolf then simply said to me, “Oh I love magicians! Hold on, I’ll be right there!”

And then a moment of silenced passed us by as I waited for Wolf to come down, and the longer I was waiting, the more I was being annoyed by Wolf’s wooden slow ass. I had thought he was going to come down and see with ne, yet wasn’t downstairs yet.

So I yelled back up towards Wolf and asked him, “How long does it take to flush a few buds down the toilet!?”

Wolf the yelled back towards me and he said, “Yeah… I’m not going to lie, I kind of got distracted and decided to take some of your medicine that you have in the cabinet in the bathroom here.”

I then yelled back towards him, “I don’t have any medication!”

Wolf then was silent for a bit until a few seconds later when he yelled back, “Oh… ohhhhh… no… I think I’m going to be seeing demons on later tonight then. Well, if I’m popping pills, I might as well take them all… go on ahead of me Knight, I’ll meet you there! The expired medicine shall not defeat me!”

LATER IN THE MIDDLE OF STALIA…

While Wolf was in the middle of doing god knows what, I went ahead and made my way to wherever the event was taking place at. And while on my way going there, everypony was making their way there as well, pretty much applying that Dog and Tails were making the rounds and spreading the news to everyone in Stalia.

And as the other ponies were passing me by, I could see they all had excitement and wonderment across their faces, wondering who this mysterious pony who was so powerful who claims can also move the moon. So after a bit of a walk, I eventually made my way to the center of town to be met with a huge, probably made on fifty cent on the hour, wooden stage with purple curtains to drape it and give it some piazzas’.

And surrounding that stage was a huge crowd of ponies, pretty much the entire town of Stalia was there, except for a few. Like maybe a few, but I don’t know, I had just gotten there, I could barely tell who was who. They all looked the same to me. Now I know that may sound racist, but… uhhh… it is racist and, yet the bombs haven’t been dropped and god has yet to give a damn to get off the couch and stop jerking his dick off to Jewish porn.

You can trust me with that statement; God is on the Jewish conspiracy. He knows what he is doing, and is planning on putting all the goys down under after they die. Only the good goys that give the sheckles to him at church time will go to heaven. I mean it is true that God has a very long nose and likes the sound of money; it is only merely the truth that I speak of. It’s why Israel is our greatest ally, because god moved the embassy and uhh… something. I forget the rest, but god is a Jew and is on the whole Jewish elite business.

I mean did you know God’s last name was Goldstein? Yeah… Bet they don’t teach you that in your history class huh? Those commies in school are only telling you lies and Michael Jackson knew that too. That’s why they had to put him down because only he knew where he put the Sonic 3 game with his music in it, the real one. Anyways, not only was the crowd there, but all of my so called friends were there as well, more or less towards the front.

Well, I went to the crowd and gently and politely shoved my way through and pushing anyone that was in my way and telling them to shove it. And after all of that, my friends were there and I could see them at least for me a bit of a surprise that they were right there. But then when I thought about it, it was just like the episode, so it was only natural it had seemed for me to be near them. Neon, Forrest, Arrell, who also had AssHat on his back, and Mac were all up in front and I was right next to them, while Jack was trying to be better then Harry up on the stage. And from there, I could also see a better look at this Harry. He had a black mane color with a lushes style for a mane.

It even had that swirl to it a bit near his forehead. And as for his coat color, it was a very light-ish purple, sort of like lavender, but not quite. It’s hard to pin point, but it reminded me of Trixie, just whiter and less black, which is a good thing in terms of design. And for a cutie mark, he had a yellow star with tiny little stairs surrounding it, almost as if it was fireworks going on. He also wore a dark brown cape for some weird reason.

But the cape had looked like it went through hell and back and then maybe went to hell again because it forgot something, so it went back to go get it, but by the time it gets back to hell, it turns out it already had what it thought it forgot. So it gets pissed, throws a fit, goes over to the hell next door and starts a shooting rampage on innocent citizens because why not? But he didn’t wear a hat though. He was also a unicorn as well. And there was one other defining feature about him as well.

He had a very handsome or a charming looking face. Not that gay kind of handsome to the point where you and all the boys get rock hard for it, but that handsome that is competition to get all the wet holes that makes you think a fish market is in there, if you know what I mean. In fact, while looking at all the other ponies around me, the mares of Stalia were eyeing this Harry like a doll, with their mouth open and drooling over their possible future pony that they will meet, get drugged, and be taken advantage of, but then won’t care because it was their first time or something.

Maybe not, or maybe so and it’ll be their last because who knows, maybe that certain pony is in the market for bodies for the science market. You never know. But anyways, as the mares of Stalia had their eyes and pupils filled with pink hearts as they continued to drool over the looks of some random stranger they had just seen for the first time, in which case they should have their eyes checked, might be cancer, I was right next to the other guys as we were watching Jack and Harry interact on stage.

As we were doing so, I turned my head towards the guys and they were looking at me as well as I asked them, “So what’s the whole commotion about? Is this guy gay and going to do a back flip out the window for us all or what?”

Forrest then said with a bit of a worried look, “That’s uncalled for.”

I then said back to him with an unamused look on my face, “Well Forrest, maybe you shouldn’t be such a pussy. So anyone else but Forrest can fill me in here?”

Arrell then looked towards me and he then said as he was pointing a hoof at Harry, “Well apparently Harry here can do anything that we can do, but better.”

Mac then said with a sort of annoyed look on his face, but it was a combination of determination as well as he said, “Pfffffffft, Well I bet I can do whatever he does better. I know all the fancy maths and the deadly ku ba yahs , I can do whatever he does better, times one.”

I then said to him with a bit of a confused look on my face, “That would be about the same then Mac.”

Mac then looked at us as we were taken a back a bit as he looked a little angered at us as he raised his hoof and shook it, “I KNOW WHAT ME TIMES ONE IS! AND IT’S FIFTY TWO! WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT DO YOU GUYS TAKE ME FOR!?”

And after we had backed up a bit with our backs and had big eyes, a bit taken aback by Mac’s sudden actions, we all let a few seconds of silence between us go by.

And after a few seconds had left us, Arrell answered Mac’s question with a question and said, “An idiot?”

And then Mac calmed down, rolled his eyes as he put a hoof up to his chin and started to scratch it, as we all calmed and relaxed our bodies as well.

And then Mac said calmly to us all as he looked back towards us and he sort of nudged forward a bit and said, “Of course! You thought you could fool me, BUT I AIN’T NO TIM TOM TOOL PICKING FOOL! I MAY HAVE BEEN FOOLED AND HAD MY PLANS FOILED BY APPLEJACK MANY OF TIME IN MY LIFE BEFORE WHILE TRYING TO COMMIT AN APPLE GENOCIDE ON HER FARM, BUT I AIN’T no DUMMY! IF THAT FANCY CITY PONY RIGHT THERE CAN HAVE ALL THE FAME AND GLORY TO HIMSELF, THEN HE HAS ANOTHER THING COMING, I SWEAR TO CELESTIA!”

Arrell then said calmly to Mac, “You have problems.”

He then quickly snapped back to Arrell and got close to his face while putting a hoof on his chest and poking him, “AND YOU LIKE FUCKING ANIMALS LIKE A PANSY!”

While that had happened, I sort of drowned out whatever Mac was saying and looked towards Neon, who was smiling as always and was looking towards me.

I then said as I gave a little sigh, “So Neon… what do you think of all this… shit?”

I had said that while holding up a hoof and moving the top part around a bit in a little circle, while maintaining an ok mood on my face.

Neon however just said to me in response, “Apples.”

I then said as I lowered my head down a bit in disappointment, “Great, I’m proud of ya.”

And then Neon sort of lowered his head to one side, with making a knocking sound on wood at the same time. And from there we just kind of ignored each other and decided to watch what was happening on stage, which was Jack vs Harry. The battle of the century, well, more or less the battle of the next five minutes, but hey, it was… something… and certainly better than a fight between a bat and an alien.

I mean have you ever seen a fight between a bat and alien? It’s really something; well at least you think it’s something. But when you actually go to see it’s really disappointing. I mean you get all hyped for a fight between a bat and an alien, thinking it’s going to be the best thing of the year and shit. But when the fight actually happens, you just sit there, ask yourself ‘I waited this long and got this hyped for this?’ and you just sit there, trying to like it while on the inside you know you just wasted your time and money and you’ll never get that back. And you just slowly start to tear yourself up on the inside as your sanity decays…

Well, Douchebag was just like Trixie, an arrogant fool.

He was also were beating my friends in their skills that they had.

JACK

First up was Jack, as stated, he was already on stage, and he was looking mighty pissed. As for harry, he was looking like he was having the time of his life as he had a big grin on his face as he looked eager to show off his skills to everyone in the crowd.

And then looked outward to everyone that was paying attention and said with big, wide eyes and with a charming voice, “Ha ha ha! This gentlecolt right here thinks he can take me on and beat me in a game of hoof to hoof!”

Jack then said to him while pointing towards him, “It ain’t a fucking game asshole! I’m going to literally go over there and kick your fucking ass!”

Harry then said while closing his eyes and covering his face in smugness, “Well well well, resorting to violence are we? That’s not very pony of you.”

Jack then said with a frustrated face, “Pony of me? I am literally just going to go over and rip you a new one!”

Harry then said too the audience, almost as if this was some kind of bear in the big blue house shit, except you know… without the pedophilia, and said, “And just like that, we’re playing a game! A game that I will best him at! And all he had to do was ask of course instead of being rude.”

Jack then yelled towards him, “Rude!? You fucking asked me to come on here, I said no, called me a tasteless hack, and now I’m up here, wanting to show you what happens when you cross me!”

However Harry continued to say to Jack with smugness, “Oh did the Hack say something?”

Jack then said as he raised both hooves up in the air with force and had his face turned to red anger, “That’s it! You’re dead!”

And then Jack started charging towards Harry, but Harry still remained calm and relaxed and had a smile on his face, as he was confident in what he was doing. So as Jack was charging him, Harry stood his ground, but down to the last second, Harry moved out of the way and used his brown rag for a cape as a bit of a distraction, as that made Jack miss his mark, and then prompted Harry to move out his left foreleg and trip Jack’s back leg.

In which case, he fell down, and sort of tumbled down off the stage while landing on his back. And wouldn’t you know it; he landed right in front of us too, as we all stared back at him.

And from what we saw, we saw a not very happy chappy and Jack said with a disgruntled look upon his face, “Not a word or I’ll fucking kill you.”

Forrest then said with a bit of enthusiasm in his voice and a small smile, “Well I thought it was a very nice effort you put in Jack.”

Jack then said, while remaining on his back, “I’m killing you after everypony leaves Forrest.”

And then Forrest’s small smile turned into a look of despair.

MAC

Next up was Mac, as he then said to everyone as he volunteered to get on stage, despite no one asking him to do so, “Alright, alright everypony. Step aside, the real talent is here.”

He had said that while closing his eyes, walking up the side stairs to get on to the stage, yet with no other expression on his face, while waving his right hoof around towards the audience. He had said it in a way of as if he was the chosen one and that we all knew it. But Harry, Harry was loving it. Just by simply looking at him, he knew that he was already better than Mac.

He even gave a bit of a smug look, that look that tells to everyone that you’re better than everyone and that you know better than everyone and that you know what is best for them. So you end up going through a series of events that takes you to your local government and then over throwing that government and calling it a revolution, but in the end you’re just an asshole by nature and use and abuse the power that you took and you look like an asshole as you start sending all of your supporters to the gulag because why not?

And when you think you’re on top of the world, you just wake up and it turns out it’s all a dream and really you’re all alone and have problems that cannot be fixed because your father didn’t beat you enough despite asking him to beat you senseless because you have some weird fetish that only gets you off when you’re beaten by a daddy.

But your father just ended up blowing his brains out instead when you were three because you were a disappointment and didn’t go out and get a job by that time. Then you sit and wonder while in the dark in your bed room if you should too blow your brains out cause your dreams ain’t coming true. It was that kind of a smug look that Harry gave. But Harry didn’t even have to say a single word. He simply backed up a bit while still having that smug smile of his and extended his left fore hoof out to Mac while closing his eyes in confidence and offered him the spotlight.

As for Mac, he looked at this with a small smile of confidence and in his mind, he was saying, ‘Ha! This applejack loving son of a bitch is toast! I’m going to be making him look lower than a midget pony’s nut shack!’

And so Mac took the stage, stood right in front of Harry as Harry awaited for Mac to make his first move and continued to have a smug smile. For Mac, his small smile of confidence disappeared and was replaced a look of serious determination, as his eyes concentrated on Harry’s position, trying to mentally prepare himself to proof that he is better than this so called Magnificent Harry. And me and the guys, we had our eyes glued on Mac, anticipating what was going to happen.

And for the crowd, they were stumbling nd mumbling as quiet as they could as they too were waiting for what was going to happen next. The crowd was ready to see something exciting to occur and see what Harry could do in response to whatever Mac was going to do. And Mac was trying to think of what he was going to do to prove that he could beat Harry at his own game, which was the game of ‘I’m better than you.’

In a way, just looking at Mac’s face, it was starting to look like he was a little nervous or at the very least starting to perhaps rethink this whole idea through, as if he was uncertain about his plan. He looked like he was going to start sweating in nervousness, but in the end that didn’t happen. What happened next was that Mac put up his right hoof up near his face and then said while looking straight in the eyes at Harry as Harry was remaining patient for Mac to give him a challenge so that he can best him at it.

And Mac, while holding his right hoof up steadily then said to him Harry, all with a serious voice and straight into his eyes with no signs of regret or breaking down under pressure, “How many hooves am I holding up?”

With that question being asked, Harry’s smug face was quickly removed and was then replaced with a concerned, confused look on his face as he opened up his eyes turning from pride to worry as he then just stared at Mac, not sure what to make of his questions.

So Harry, unsure if he had correctly or need to get more of his schizoid medication from his doctor, asked Mac, “Excuse me?”

Mac then said with a slightly heavy tone in his voice and an angered annoyed look formed on his face towards Harry, “You heard me you pony son of a bitch!? How many hooves am I holding up!?”

Mac’s anger then turned into a confident look, with a hint of a sinister smile, form across his face as he stared into the eyes of his opponent and said to him, “What’s wrong? Are you chicken Harry?”

The look in his eyes and at his stance looked like it was from a final battle from an anime, where the hero or villain is about to use their trap card, that isn’t gay cause let’s all be honest here, traps are gay. And the only way they cannot be gay is if they are not traps, but formal traps. Although sadly those traps will never come to be, but then traps cards like that aren’t that big of a deal anyways. What? Were you thinking of something else you sick fuck? Unless of your course you have a fetish, then that would explain why you would be thinking of something else.

Anyways, Mac looked like he was sure that he had Harry beaten and that he would come out victorious. But Harry just stood there, worried not about himself, but Mac’s own sanity since he was asking such a weird, yet stupid question, when he is supposed to show some sort of talent that he can also do. So a few seconds of silence passed as the crowd stood there, waiting on what was going to happen next.

And so after a while of silence, Harry finally spoke up with hesitation in his voice and said his answer almost as If he was questioning it, “You’re holding up one hoof?”

After Harry gave his answer the crowd went wild, no seriously they went wild and clapped for a bit with their hooves, except for me and the guys of course, but then went into utter silence after that. And that did it, Mac’s smile of confidence soon disappeared and Mac just went back into a blank stare. And the look that he gave was that one of vast disappointment. It was in that moment that he knew that he had lost to Harry, and there was nothing he could do about it. In his mind, he was broken, a failure, a loser.

He wondered where it all went wrong, what he could have done. Should have he cheated just so he could have gotten ahead, who knows. But truthfully it was just Mac being an idiot like the southern like pony that he was. I mean he wasn’t southern, but he practically was. He was like a confederate that lived in the north, a Southern Yankee.

Not sure if he would hate the zebras though, pretty sure he didn’t, but he was backwards just like the Russians, so you be the judge I guess. Anyways, as Mac had a face that of someone who was defeated by his opponent, Mac just stood there and looked at his hoof for a bit, and then back to harry, who still had his look of confusion on his face.

And as the seconds went into silence, Mac finally broke it and said, “Huh… how did you do that? Unless…”

Mac then gave a little bit of a gasp as well as a gaping mouth as he had wide eyes and a shocked face.

Mac then proceeded to squint towards Harry as he pointed his right hoof at him as he said to him, “Are you some kind of fancy secret government mind reader you government agent son of a bore?”

Mac then said very loudly and suddenly with an outburst movement as he lunged forwards him a bit as he went back to all fours, “ARE YOU WALKING FOR APPLEJACK! TELL ME! TELL ME NOW!”

And from there, we knew as his friends, we needed to get help Mac and get him off the stage before he could hurt anyone and himself, as well hurting Harry, as that was the right thing to do. Just kidding, none of us gave a fuck and was enjoying watching the show.

However, Forrest, the goody two shoes that he was decided that he felt the need to go up on stage and try to lead him off the stage. So Forrest quickly, as he usually was, used his wings and swiftly got onto the stage and got behind Mac, as Mac was looking like he was ready to attack Harry.

Harry wasn’t moving an inch though; he was just watching the whole thing unfold like how everyone was in the audience. But for Mac, he looked like he was about to go for blood like a dog ready to maul someone to death. As Mac was slowly inching forwards towards Harry and pointing at him, Forrest swiftly got behind him and put his two hooves around him, trying to pull him back. He didn’t say a word, his actions was more than enough.

But Mac tried to resist and tried to lunge forward as he continued to yell towards him, “WHAT DO YOU KNOW! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE APPLE FAMILY! I MUST KNOW RIGHT NOW!”

And as Forrest was trying to pull him off stage, Mac knew that he had to get off, or at the very least being pulled off, but not before he got his last words in.

As he was being pulled off the stage by Forrest, Mac yelled towards Harry, “I’LL FIND YOU! I’LL FIND WHERE YOU LIVE AND I’LL MAKE YOU TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW! YOU HEAR ME!? I’LL BE YOUR FUCKING END YOU APPLEJACK LOVING, GOVERNMENT BOOT LICKER MOTHER FUCKA!”

And then Forrest was finally about to pull him off his stage as Mac had said his final words to Harry while using his wings. It wasn’t hard for Forrest though, but Mac was putting up a fight for Forrest to get him off. And as soon as Mac was off, Harry just stood there, not sure what to make out of it. He just stood there with a look of confusion. But then he just shook his head quickly and tried to forget that happened as his face returned to its usual smugness.

And as his smile returned, he looked back towards the audience and walked to the edge of the stage and looked everyone in the eyes and said to all of us, “So, you have seen my magnificent powers on two ponies, so who would like to come up and try to best me hmmmm?”

Harry had said it with as much self righteousness in his voice and on his face, it was disturbing.

ARRELL

And so for the next pony up to the stand was Arrell. He was sort of quick when it became his turn to go up on stage. And it’s not like we were all in on this and we were all taking turns to see who could be the biggest jack off in front of the town, but rather it just kind of happened. Maybe it was the Universe’s fault, you know? Or maybe it was voluntary and they just felt insecure about themselves or some shit like that. Who knows honestly?

But anyways as soon as Harry asked that question to the crowd, he didn’t get an answer. And to Harry, that was good enough for him since he didn’t have to do diddly dick and he had already proven himself to be the greatest out of all the other ponies in the town.

However, Harry somewhat deep down felt like he needed to do some more challenges and continue to show off to everyone in Stalia. So he looked around in the crowd, mostly whoever was near front stage. And of course were all near, but he had already challenged Jack and Mac, so he pointed his eye towards Arrell and soon had a grinning face filled with absolute glee, but in a sort of an asshole-ish way.

And from there, he moved closer towards Arrell’s position, which was a little more to the right of him, and pointed to him with his left hoof and said to Arrell, “You Gentlecolt, how about you come up here and try to see if you can’t best me in a challenge of your choice?”

Arrell however continued to sit on his ass and looked at him funny and said to him while shaking his head, “No thank you … I’m good.”

Of course Harry wasn’t going to let his new victim go, so he continued to insist with a charmful smile, as he lowered his head down a little bit and got a tiny bit closer to Arrell, “Why? Are you… afraid that you might lose to me?”

Arrell started to get a little emotional you could say. He started to feel a little annoyed by Harry’s statements. He even gave a little chuckle and a bit of despair started to form on his face, but he tried not to let that be shown.

Instead, Arrell just said to him, “Let’s not go there ok. We’re all here just to watch a show.”

However Harry knew he had him in his grasp and knew he just needed to push the right buttons on him.

So Harry then continued to give him a smug side glance as he turned his head and smiled with assurance and said to him, “So then, I guess that’s just another way of saying that you’re a loser.”

Arrell the said with a bit of a look of determination, as his face looked like he was angered just a bit and said to him as Harry was walking, “Now wait just a minute here, I never said such a thing.”

Harry however just said to him as he turned around and was walking around on the stage, “Oh but I can read between the lines. I can just tell by the sound of your voice that you’re chicken.”

With Harry’s last words to Arrell, that pulled a trigger in Arrell’s mind somehow.

Arrell looked like he was done and was pissed off, as he then said to Harry, “Excuse me?”

Harry then turned around with a little grin and looked towards him while pointing his left hoof towards him, “You heard me, a chicken!”

The crowd gave a little bit of a gasp, sort of being on edge, waiting to see what was going to happen next.

And Arrell just looked more pissed as he then said with a bit of annoyance in his voice, “A chicken? A chicken!? The only chicken is the kind that I breed; no one else calls me a chicken!”

And so as Arrell was all pissed off and shit, Harry had a huge, somewhat sinister like, grin form across his face, as he stepped aside and made room for Arrell to come up on stage. And as Arrell was making his way up on to the stage by taking one of the side stairs right next to the stage, Asshat was looking like an autistic kid as he just sat on his little bunny asshole and gave that fluoride stare.

That kind of stare that you give to someone when you’re arguing for something, but then they prove you wrong and you try to come up with a response, so you just stumble and mumble about that answer for a good long while until you just can’t come up with anything, so you just stand there and repeat the same shit that you just said because you’re a fucking dumbass. And you know you’re a fucking dumbass and that’s why you cry yourself to sleep every night not because you dad touched you (or didn’t if you have some sort of sick fetish), but because you can’t bare to live with yourself.

So you go into the bathroom late in the night, pull out the gun that you keep in your sock drawer, put it to your head while looking yourself in the mirror while still crying and keep telling yourself to pull the trigger. But then you pussy out and you just end up going to your therapist ad tell him what happened... but then it turns out you’re just talking to a Wendy’s cashier as he tells you it is a Wendy’s… And he also tells you to do a back flip out the window. That kind of fluoride stare that Asshat gave while Arrell was making his way. I tell ya, Asshat is a weird little bunny.

I don’t speculate anything sinister of him, he just looks autistic and probably needs to be put to sleep one of these days on the case of him looking at us funny all the time… that little furry fucker. Also as Arrell was going up to stage, guess who made an appearance? Wolf finally came back from the bathroom with a weird state in his eyes. Wolf had came from what seemed like from out of nowhere, but really he pushed through the crowd and came up sort of up from behind me.

And as he came up right next to me and not paying attention, he said to me as I was looking at Arrell, “Hey Knight, H-H-How’s it going.”

I then turned my head towards him and had an ok stare at him and said to him, “Oh, you finally made it.”

Wolf then said to me, “Yup.”

I then asked Wolf, “So, how did it go up there?”

Wolf then said to me, while looking nervous and turned his head around franticly and his legs twitching a bit, “It went alright. Started to see some shit. Hey uhh… c-can I ask when we started getting talking purple hippos to come into our house to fix the sink?”

I then asked Wolf with a bit of confusion, “What?”

Wolf then said to me, still being nervous and slightly raised his left wooden paw up from the ground, “Well the blue eyed bird looking fella was telling me you let those guys in because you’re trying to bomb Iran or something? What’s up with that?”

I then asked Wolf, “What are you talking about?”

Wolf then said to me before he went quiet, “I saw the black figure in the corner man, I FUCKING SAW IT… HE’S COMING FOR ME!”

Anyways, Arrell made his way up on to the stage and stared Harry right in the face. Arrell had a look of determination and was ready to show Harry that he was not a flightless bird that’s technically a disappointing dinosaur. And as for Harry, oh he was just loving it, everything was being handed to him on a silver platter and he just couldn’t get enough of it.

So Harry was about speak it may have seem until Arrell quickly stopped and gave a little smile on his face as he then pointed towards Harry and said to him, “You won’t be able to get me unlike the others Harry. In fact me and my little bunny buddy over here will show you that you’re not that great at everything as you say you are.”

He had said it with confidence and hope, almost as if he was going to be the hero of this here story. But he wasn’t as Harry just gave a little chuckle. Arrell saw this as confusing, wondering in his head what Harry had planned for him. And Harry just continued to have his laughter grow and grow, a little bit louder and louder after every second passed. And Arrell wasn’t sure what was going on since this seemed very awkward at the moment. And all Arrell could do was just stand there and give a look of confusion on his face.

And after a few second of Harry’s laughter filling the air, Arrell then asked Harry, “What’s so funny? I didn’t even give you a challenge yet?”

Harry then did give a little chuckle with a pure smile on his face, and as he was wiping the tears of joy from his eyes with his left hoof, he then looked onto Arrell with glee and told him, “Well it’s just funny is all. I-It’s just so funny that you would say that you and your pet bunny would beat me when you don’t have a pet bunny to begin with.”

As Harry was saying that, he was slowly turning and shaking his head to the side while squinting towards Arrell, with still the pure smile on his face. For Arrell though, he remained confused as he wasn’t sure what he was talking about. Last time he checked, Asshat was on his back, his little buddy bunny by his side, ready to take on Harry right next to him.

And all Arrell said to Harry was, “What are you talking about? Asshat is right here on my…”

Arrell was turning his head to check on Asshat and to point to him to prove to Harry that he had a pet bunny. But the moment that he turned his head around, Arrell’s confusion turned into a shock in a split second. His eyes became wide and his mouth agape, as he was surprised to see no bunny sitting on his back, since he knew he was there when he went up on stage to before. Quickly he had thought maybe he had fallen off or maybe he had ran off.

But all he could muster in that second was saying out loud, “Where did Asshat go!?”

And then Harry spoke up which caught everyone’s attention and even Arrell’s even though he was in a state of shock. And all Harry did was continue to laugh like he knew something that Arrell didn’t.

And Harry was continuing to laugh, as soon as all eyes were on him, Harry said to Arrell while trying calming down the chuckling, “Where’s your pet bunny? It seems to me that you’re not even good at keeping your so called animal friend with you. Sounds like a challenge to me.”

And so Harry raised his cape to one side, raise it towards the audience’s viewpoint, and held it there for a few seconds with a big grin across his face. And after holding it for a few second and Arrell waiting to see what Harry was trying to get at, Harry then finally swiftly pulled down his cape towards his chest with a big white smile on his face, and as soon as the cape came down, he revealed that Asshat was on his back, unharmed, calm and contempt.

And all Arrell could do was hold out his right hoof and yell out towards Asshat in shock, “ASSHAT! NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Harry however just stood there while slightly holding up his right hoof and chuckling as he then proceeded to say to Arrell, “It seem that your precious pet bunny prefers me as his friend compared to you. Isn’t that right Asshat? Or should I call Legna, since you’re my pet now.”

He had said with such smugness that it could fill all of San Francisco as he had his eyes closed with a smirk on his face as he looked towards Asshat. Arrell just stood there, not sure what to do or think.

And all Harry said afterwards was, “It seems that I have won again.”

And Harry then started to walk off, but not before Asshat just fell off Harry’s back without Harry even noticing to begin with as he just walked away. And Asshat just feel flat on to the stage’s wooden floor, pretty much motionless, not giving a fuck since he was just a bunny, Arrell rushed over in urgency and got down on to his pony knees and looked a little sad, but mixed with surprised as he looked towards Asshat and tried to scoop him up without saying a word.

Although you could hear him weep a tiny bit underneath his breath, almost as if Asshat betrayed him or something.

FORREST

And so next up was Forrest. As Harry was walking to the left of the stage as Arrell was picking up his remains of his sanity with Asshat, Harry then yelled out, “So, who’s next!?”

He had said it with pure confidence. And the one to speak up was Forrest. He had sort of jumped into the air a little bit, but remained stationary in mid air while flapping his wings and holding his right hoof high up as he said with a smile, “I think I can beat you.”

He said calmly, almost like it was a friendly competition.

Harry of course was happy to see another victim of his show and he said to him and in the friendliest way possible while giving the gesture with his hoof, “Then come up here and show us what you’ve got!”

And then Forrest gently used his wings to get up on stage and silently landing on all four, with still a smile of hope. Harry backed up to give him some room while keeping his eyes on him.

And as Forrest got into his place on stage, Harry then asked him, “So, what challenge do you have for me that you think you can best me at?”

Forrest then said with a smile of hope, “Well I’m not good at everything. But I can make fire if I go really fast. It’s my specialty after all since it’s in the name, Forrest Fire.”

Harry then said with a smile, “Well, that’s an interesting fact to know about you. Sounds challenging to me, but a fair one at that. Let’s say we both have to spin in circles. The one who can create fire first wins!”

Jack then heckled out from the audience, “THAT SOUNDS RETARDED!”

However Harry said with assurance, “But it is a fair challenge though. If our friend Forrest here says he can make fire while moving very fast, surely he can make fire no matter what appendage he moves in no matter what direction, isn’t that correct Forrest?”

He had said that to Forrest while keeping a big smile and branching his right hoof out towards him.

And Forrest then said to him while putting his left hoof to his chin and rolling his eyes back, while keeping a smile, “Well I don’t like to brag, but I can if I try really hard.”

Harry then said with glee, “Then it’s agreed upon. And who knows, you might best me, you have your wings while I’m simply grounded.”

Forrest then said while closing his eyes and with a smile and said with a friendly tone, “Well, may the best pony win then.”

And then the competition started as Harry started to spin around as Forrest lifted himself up from the ground with his wings. And Forrest was about to spin in a small circle for all to see by pulling his body a bit backwards, anticipating and preparing himself to show off his talents.

However right before he could move a single muscle, Harry then quickly said with a smug smile, “Done!”

Forrest then had wide eyes and then asked himself silently, “What?”

And then soon before you knew it, all eyes were on Harry as he was laying on his sides, holding his right hoof to hold his head up and was laid out as if he was about to bang a chick in front of a fire place. All the while, his whole body was on fire, and yet didn’t seem to be affected by it. As for everyone else, we were all wondering how Harry was able to do that in such a quick amount of time.

However, before anyone could even ask such a question, Harry just got up, the fire died out, and he said in a smug tone towards Forrest, “It seems that I have bested thee. Well, thanks for playing along. Next!”

And then Forrest just gently landed himself back into the audience with his wings in disappointment to himself, as Jack was giving him the stink eye look because you know why by now.

NEON

And so the next one up on to the stage was Neon.

And so as Harry was looking towards the audience to see who was next and awaiting for a response, Neon walked right on up without anyone noticing and sneaking up behind Harry and said to him, “I’m next!”

He had said it with his smile as usual. As for Harry, he was taken a back a bit with wide eyes as he wasn’t expecting someone to come up their like.

However he quickly calmed down within seconds as he then got his head into the game and returned his smug smile as usual and then asked him, “Well then uhhh…”

Neon then cut him off and then yelled out without moving a single muscle in his body other than his mouth, “NEON!”

Harry then said to him, with a worry in his eyes, “Neon, yes, Neon… Well Neon, what challenge do you have for me today?”

Neon then said to Harry, “I can make a dog fucking a chicken eating a log of shit while a tiny hippo is signing opera on a donkey’s dick appear from my anus!”

Harry was once again taken aback by this statement and remained speechless as all he had to say was, “Uhhhhhh….”

And in response, Neon did shitted out a dog fucking a chicken eating a log of shit while a tiny hippo is signing opera on a donkey’s dick appear from his anus. And Neon didn’t say a single word. Although he did give a little bit of a murderous look in his eyes. I don’t know if anyone else noticed it, but I could just look into Neon’s eyes, silently saying that if you don’t do what I just did, I’m going to come into your house tonight and slit your fucking throat and making every cell in your living body burn to the stake while you’re being raped and murdered all at the same time as a black chick is signing a song of being raped and murdered as she is raping and murdering herself while singing the said song of being raped and murdered.

Yeah, that was what was in his eyes, and whether or not Harry saw that in his eyes was beyond me. Although you could tell he at least saw something within Neon’s eyes.

Anyways all Harry did in response was just stand there and said, “Uhhhhh….”

And then after droning on for a few seconds, he then somewhat nervously stepped aside from where his anus was at, with the wide eyes and all, and showed that he had replicated what Neon had done.

And as everyone saw that from the crowd, and the audience cheered on as usual for Harry and the two just stared awkwardly at each other. Harry was unsure what had just happened, but Neon remained with his smile while standing there, motionless.

But then Neon just started to float up and out towards the crowd as if he was flying, but not moving a single muscle.

And as he was levitating away from defeat, he looked towards me and he said to me with kindness, “Good luck Knight. Your turn!”

I had seen him floating away and thinking to myself that it was Neon being Neon as usual, and not paying much mind to it. I mean I was sort of taken aback by it in my mind, but by that point I was starting to get used to Neon’s Weirdness. And all I did was give him a weird look with one of my eyebrows being raised as I looked up towards Neon floating away.

However after Neon telling me good luck, I then said to myself quietly, “Good luck? Hell no, I’m out of here. I mean I know the Universe is probably going to try to make me stay and shit, but fuck no, stick a fork in me, I’m out of here. Maybe if I just sneak quietly out of here, the Universe won’t notice that I left.”

I had then said that with squinted eyes and started to shift my eyes from side to side, wondering if the Universe was nearby, watching my every move. And so I turned around, not caring what Wolf or anyone of my other so called ‘friends’ were doing, and started to head back home since this seemed kind of retarded to me.

KNIGHT

Well, I thought I was able to get away with it, but I guess the Universe was keeping an eye on me like a hawk cause as I turned around and seemed like I was able to just walk away from it all, but he then saw me, and challenged me basically.

Harry told me while pointing towards me with a bit of an annoyed and angered look on his face, “So, my show is boring is it!? Do I bore you to the point that you’re leaving, am I that bad? Did I not show enough of my magnificence to you!?”

As he started to talk me, I stopped dead in my tracks and all eyes started to turn to me as everyone else was staring at me, waiting to see what I would do.

And as soon as Harry stopped talking to me and the crowd made a pathway between me and Harry and giving us some room, I lowered my head in annoyance and said to myself under my breath, “Son of a bitch, I don’t want to deal with this shit…”

I then raised my head and turned my head in cynicism and gave him that, ‘I don’t care anymore, just leave me the fuck alone’ kind of look on my face and looked towards him into his eyes, showing that I was not in the mood.

I said to him, “No you fucking douchebag, ‘you were so magnificent’ during your show. What made me want to leave was you being a giant douchebag!”

Harry took offense to that and was starting to get ticked off by my words as he gritted his teeth and looked at me with anger while looking down on me from the stage, “What did you say to me!?”

The crowd gave a loud gasp while my ‘friends’ gave me a smile and pretty much with their eyes saying that they approved what I was doing. Except for Mac, he had a pissed off look, still sour over Harry beating him at his own game, literally.

And as for me, I then said to him, “You heard me, you’re a fucking douchebag. In fact your title is misleading. You should try to rebrand yourself to The Magnificent Douchebag! That’ll make all the kids at their birthday parties that you show up to for minimum wage go wild.”

However, Harry just was angered more and more as he slammed his left fore hoof hard on to the stage wooden floor and yelled towards me, “HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME WITH YOUR WORDS! YOU SHALL NOT WALK AWAY FREELY! IF YOU WISH TO WALK AWAY, YOU MUST EARN IT BY CHALLENGNG ME!”

He said it with a stern look and tone on his face and in his voice. It was almost as if there was going to be thunder booming behind him, even though there wasn’t. And as for the crowd around us, they were waiting in anticipating as to what my choice was going to be.

But I just looked up towards Harry and said to him with my annoyed look calmly towards him, “Nope. Fuck off. I can leave if I want to.”

Harry then said to me, “YOU CANNOT LEAVE HERE WITH YOUR DIGNITY INTACT! YOU INSULTED ME WITH YOUR WORDS, NOW YOU MUST SHOW IT WITH ACTION!”

I then said to him right before I turned around, “You see this… I’m walking away right now. And no enforcement of the law can stop me. Fuck off. Douchebag.”

And then I started to walk away as the crowd made a path for me to walk away on.

And as I was walking away, Harry stomped his left hoof on the wooden stage once more with anger in his voice, “HOW DARE YOU WALK AWAY LIKE THAT FROM ME! I AM BETTER THAN THEE! COME BACK HERE AND FACE ME AT ONCE!”

I then sort of yelled back towards him as I was walking away “What’s that!? You’re changing your name from Harry to Douchebag!? That’s great, I’m proud of ya, now fuck off!”

And then the unthinkable happened as I stopped in my tracks as Wolf spoke up and yelled out loud all of a sudden, “HE CAN BEAT YOU! HE CAN BEAT YOU IN ANY CHALLENGE THAT YOU GIVE HIM AND HE WILL SHOW YOU THAT YOU’RE NOT BETTER THAN ANY OF US, AND THAT KNIGHT IS THE BEST! YOU HEAR ME, KNIGHT CAN BEAT YOU AT ANYTHING AND IS BETTER THAN YOU!”

I turned my head with a confused, yet annoyed look on my face, as Wolf was out in the middle of empty space and talking to nothing, but seemed like he was talking to Harry… even though he wasn’t. He was pointing his wooden left paw to what was basically thin air. He was also swaying a little from side to side as I turned my heads towards him.

However, all I said to Wolf, “Who the fuck are you talking to!?”

Wolf then said to the thin air and not towards me, “THAT’S RIGHT! YOU AND YOUR DARK SPIDER MONSTER BUDDIES CAN’T TAKE THIS TOWN ALIVE! KNIGHT WILL BEAT YOU IN THIS GAME OF GO FISH AND WILL WIN THE GOLDEN CROWN AND WILL BE CROWNED KING! And then we’ll be rich and I’ll be able to jack off whenever I want… AND THAT GUY AT THE CAFÉ CAN’T SAY OTHERWISE! YOU HEAR ME, HE CAN’T SAY OTHERWISE!”

He then collapsed, face first and said in his muffled voice while to speak with a mouth full of dirt in his mouth, “GO GET HIM KNIGHT!!”

I just gave a slight sigh and shook my head, but as I was doing so, Harry then spoke to me as I turned my head towards his attention, “Well well well, it sounds like your buddy right there says you have a lot to show us. Care to accept my challenge?”

He had said it with a grin on his face with a hint of smugness in his voice, waiting to see if I would take the bait. However I kept my cool and kept the cynicism.

I said, “Fuck off”, and then out of nowhere it had seemed, a mare comes on to the wooden stage, that wasn’t even from this town I mind you, at least I don’t think.

Maybe it came from Neon, who knows. In fact, she had an 80’s look that makes me think Neon also shitted her out of his anus, but Neon was right there in the audience, so who knows. Anyways, as Harry kept his smug smile, this 80’s looking mare with a brightly colored Neon head band and a mare gym outfit from the 80’s while looking kind of hot in some respects, came out on to the stage from what seemed out of nowhere.

The mare went up to Douchebag, cause that is his new name from now on, and you’ll see why, and said to me while cuddling up next to Douchebag with an angered look towards me without Douchebag even acknowledging what was happening, “You’re not cool anymore man! You used to be cool, but now you lost the skill of magic. Harry here is way better and cooler than you!”

I then said to the random 80’s mare, “Who the fuck are you!?”

I even looked towards my ‘friends’ and them too didn’t know what was going on as they just gave me a shrug, except for Neon, so perhaps my theories are correct Neon was behind this somehow. Why? Don’t ask me, ask the green demon why, if you ever see him. And if you do ever see him, then may god rest your soul. You’re going to need it. However despite the random mare showing up right next to him and not even looking towards her, Douchebag also said how I wasn’t great and magnificent like him.

He said to me, “Well then, I suppose that means you forfeit and your wooden buddy over there was simply overselling you and your greatness. Such a shame too, with you being a unicorn, surely you could have been my equal, perhaps rivals of sorts, maybe even besting me. I would even give you the title and we would all, including myself, be calling you, The Magnificent Knight! But such a shame to see such talent go to waste like that, towards a group of low hanging fruit and a wooden plank.”

He was saying that all the while looking at the bottom of his right hoof, with as much smug as possible. He was filled to the brim with his ego. And all I could do in response was roll my eyes at him in annoyance since I knew where this was going and the Universe was pissing me off once more. Then another mare and a stallion came up beside me from out of nowhere as well. They too looked like from the 80’s or from some 80’s movie.

One was a mare that looked somewhat similar to the mare that was up on stage, but ugly and flat chested, in fact I think her chest was caved in. And the other one was a stallion that had a dark coat color and with a bright green neon colored jacket with also a sweatband. He was ok looking, not a looker for the ladies, but he looked like he could bang a few chicks if he tried hard enough. He also had a friendly charm to him as well. Also none of these random ponies had cutie marks on which only suggests Neon was behind all of this. I cannot prove it, but I suspect it.

Anyways, I just had a look of annoyance, but also of confusion as well as I looked both to my sides as I said quietly to myself, “The fuck?”

Anyways, these two random ponies stood beside me and the ugly mare told Douchebag, “Leave Knight alone! He didn’t do anything to you!”

The stallion then said to Douchebag, “Yeah, he’s a nice guy and doesn’t deserve to be bullied by a jerk like you!”

I then said, “Who are you ponies!? Where the fuck did you come from!?”

I then looked towards Neon who was still smiling away and I had a little bit of a pissed off look on my face, but he wasn’t looking back towards me.

Instead I just said under my breath, “I swear Neon, if I find out that you did this, I’m gonna…”

And as I was busy looking towards Neon and being pissed off about the randomness, everybody then just left. Yup, all the random ponies that came out of nowhere.

Was it all in my head? Maybe. But I feel like we could all see them and that we all knew it was Neon and we were just going to pretend that it never happened. Well, Douchebag then spoke up and said to me, “So, are you going to be chicken and leave, or stay and prove to me that you are better than me?”

He had said with a smug smile like all the rest. However I just said to him, “Look I don’t give a …”

I was then cut off by Forrest as he then came up to the both of us calmly and kindly and said to the both of us, “Well how about a competition of power then?”

We both looked towards him, a little in confusion as I said to him, “That’s what he is suggesting though. And I’m telling him to fuck off and leave me alone Forrest.”

Forrest then said with a little worry on his face, but a smile nonetheless, “Well I know that, but I’m referring to using your magic and seeing who can create the best and biggest spell. And to play it fair, you can each have three hours to prepare for it and the winner can receive a prize.”

He said with a warm and kind smile, as if he was trying to fix a problem between a broken friendship. And as he finished talking, me and Douchebag looked back to each other as he remained high on the stage and I looked up towards him in annoyance and a little bit in anger.

Douchebag then asked me with a little smirk, “So what do you say, you want to show your magic off to me in three hours? The winner can receive my title respectively and be known as the best in all of Equestria. And the loser must leave Stalia forever!”

I then said to him like I was doing before, “I’m not leaving town, fuck off.”

Douchebag then said to me, with a bit of an annoyance, “Fine then, if I win, you must forever be known as Knight the Weakling and in shame, as well as to your next of kin for generations to come. But if you win, then I will retract my title of The Magnificent Harry to Douchebag as you previously claimed. What do you say, deal?”

That last part he had said it with a smirk, waiting to see if I would take the bait. For me, I just said to him, “Sounds retarded, but fuck it, the Universe won’t let me run away so I guess.”

And then we both shook hooves on it.

3 HOURS LEFT

BACK AT THE LIBARAY

As soon as we made the deal, Wolf and I headed back to the house, our home, our lovely… tree home library thing… that was only 1 / 8 library. But hey, I got paid to live there and be the “librarian” despite nothing ever happening with it, so what do I have to complain about? Anyways, I headed back, and when I got to the front door, I sort of kicked it open with my right hand, fore hoof,… whatever… And once I opened that door I had a bit of a sour look on my face, mostly due the fact that I was sort of forced into this by the Universe, or at least I’d suspect as much. Sure, maybe it was by coincidence, but are you going to try to either prove or disprove me wrong? I don’t think so.

But to be quite honest, I had a bit of competition spirit in me a little bit, so I had felt a bit determined to get good to beat Douchebag, but it was mostly me being forced to do it against my own will. So I had a sort of a pissed off and a I don’t care look on my face. And as I entered my home, Wolf soon followed, with him pretty much calming down from the drugs that he took earlier. Aside from some weird, uncomfortable feelings on the inside he looked fine and for the most part returned to normal.

And as we walked in, he was the one who closed the door behind us and as he was doing so as I was standing in the middle of the living room, trying to come up with a plan, Wolf asked me while sort of doing a weird side glance towards me, “So how are you going to beat Harry?”

I then said to him, not making eye contact and just staring off into space while trying to think, “Douchebag.”

Wolf then said to me, “Yeah, whatever, so what are you going to do?”

He then started walking towards me and into the living room area so he can hop up and take a seat on the couch.

As he was doing so, he then continued to ask me, “Are you planning on doing some training or fighting some ponies at the bar or something?”

I then turned around towards him and put my right hoof to my chin and then rolled my eyes back a little, while giving a little worried look, “Well, sadly I don’t know what to do. I’ve never thought this through?”

Wolf then asked me, while being mellowed out and sitting on the couch, “Aren’t you supposed to have powerful magic or something though? Just whip up a spell that’ll step on his dick and win over all the bitches and just call it a day.”

I then said to Wolf with a bit of a curious face, “Step on his dick? I know what you mean by that, it’s just weird coming from you. But that’s not the point. Clearly this is more complicated then it is out to be and the Universe is going to make me go through this one way or another.”

Wolf then asked me, “So this happened in the show back on Earth?”

I then told Wolf, “Well no… although not really but uhhh… remember when I was telling you all about the show and what happened in the episodes back in the cave back before I accidently gave you a voice with my magic?”

Wolf then said to me, “I was living in a cave and could barely understand the words coming out of a pony’s mouth at the time, what do you think?”

I then said to Wolf, with a little annoyed look afterwards, “Fine then, although you don’t have to talk back to me like that you wooden piece of shit.”

I had said that last part under my breath, although even then, I don’t think Wolf would have cared.

Anyways, I then asked Wolf, “Well how about the times back at Celestia’s school on some of those summer nights when I told you about it again?”

Wolf then told me, “I was drunk on those nights, I don’t remember. And I probably will get drunk tonight and won’t remember any of this as well afterwards.”

I then gave a little sigh while closing my eyes real quick, but then quickly looking back at Wolf and then told him, “Well to give a quick recap. It was the episode where Twilight learned the lesson about not boasting about one’s skills or some shit. And somewhere in the middle Twilight becomes a pussy and doesn’t challenge Trixie and then later proves she isn’t it when Trixie becomes too much of a broad and fucks it all up in the end.”

Wolf then said to me, “Sounds like every episode.”

I then said to Wolf, “Eh… kind of. Although it goes deeper than that. My point is one way or another; I need to think outside the box on this one and play by the rules the Universe set for me, well, unofficially anyways. I want to get through this part and get it done quick. And while this is different from the episode since this didn’t happen in the original show, I’m sure I’m going to have to do something and get training that may or may not involve a disembodied voice that may or may not be of my own singing a song to me training with me doing various things that is supposed to get me trained for the fight.”

Wolf then stared at me with his green eyes and a few seconds of silence passed us.

And after a few seconds of silence had passed, he then said to me, “Soooo… you’re saying it’s going to get fruity in here and kind of gay?”

I then said to him straightforward, “Yup and there’s no going around it. You got that old Sony Walkman with that generic sounding tape of generic 80’s instrumental music that I randomly found outside of the universes?”

Wolf then said as his wooden paws dug under the couch cousins, “Yup.”

I then said while having my face turn into pure determination, “Let’s get to it then.”

And then for the time that I had to prepare myself for the upcoming battle between me and Douchebag, I went through several stages of physical training and exercises out in the middle of the living room, while having my black cowboy hat being off and wearing a neon colored sweatband from the 80’s that is probably drenched in sweat and left by some brit bong looking mother fucker because he decided to stay at your house one time because he’s a freeloader piece of human trash; despite helping him get beer from the back of a very large freezer in a convenience store, but then end up leaving a few days later despite him taking your bed and you having to take the couch because you’re a nice guy.

But despite being a nice guy, deep down you hate that piece of shit, but he’s a brit bong so you have to be polite for at least a few weeks before you go ape shit on him. But then he leaves without paying you back and just leaves his sweaty Nike sweatband on the bed like a fucking asshole… I think the guy name was Daniel or something… or was it Justin? I forget, but that’s the kind of sweat band that I had on my head, all the while Wolf being by me and keeping track of what I was doing and trying to push me to my limits. Of course I also had my satchel off and was building up a sweat.

Of course I should add right before I started my training, Wolf had said to me that I knew what to do. He was right. I knew what I needed to do in this situation. And that’s by doing an 80’s movie training montage. Well, at least as far as it could go, because the more of it that becomes like an 80’s movie training montage, the gayer it is. But it felt like that though.

And during the training, I went through several exercises. One of the exercises was punching a punching bag for a while that we got from somewhere in the trunk chest thing that came with the place and using my front hooves to try and beat it the best I could. It was also colored a deep red so I could pretend that it was meat. You got to get that Indian nice and tender after all before you chuck them right into the oven.

Another exercise that I did was get some cheap looking jump rope that I maybe or maybe did not steal from a couple of kids, I cannot confirm or deny that, and used it to do some jump rope. Of course it would be hard to use with only two pony hooves, but hey, I’m a fucking unicorn, I just used a simple magic spell that could lift that shit and do the work for me. All I had to do was jump the shit. Afterwards I did some good ol’ fashioned pushups, and oddly enough, a pony’s bone structure in this universe could handle that since pushups are weird when you think about it for a pony.

But as I was doing pushups, I was drenched with sweat by that point, had a serious look on my face, and with Wolf being on my back, telling me to keep going and not to give up. Another set of exercises that I had done was also some good ol’ fashion sit ups. Also weird for a pony to do here, but it strangely works here in this universe, all with Wolf being in front of my back hoofs, trying to coach me.

And then to top it off, I did some jogging in place, because you know, no treadmill. Bitch, those treadmills here coast a fortune, well not really, but more or less just too much for me to do cause I’m a cheap son of a bitch some of the time. Anyways, those were some of the exercises that I had done while doing my training.

I had also done other training exercises that were like from Rocky 4. And of course I’m referring to Rocky and not that vodka drinking mother fucka. Although I did it all in my home so use your imagination there. But the other details I would like to mention is that while all of that was happening, I had the Walkman nearby playing some 80’s motivation music.

We’re talking where the music would play in the background while doing specific things. I basically had She’s a Maniac, The Power of Love, Back in Time, No Easy Way Out, Best of the Best, mighty wings, burning heart, push it to the limit, the workout theme from Rocky 4, You’re the Best Around, Hearts on Fire, and We Fight For Love.

Nah, just kidding, it was a weird random song that somewhere deep within my subconscious, I was signing it in the most weirdest way possible while the instrumental was just a generic 80’s training tune… I’m scared of my mind sometimes and afraid to go down that rabbit hole. It’s like it has a mind of its own.

But anyways, Wolf couldn’t hear it, only I could somewhere deep in my mind, the song went sort of like this:

You got to do it,

You got to push it,

You got to fight it,

You got to, just do it.

Push yourself to the limit,

Pull yourself to the end,

Do the things that you have to do

Fight it out!

Heart Fire of Love!

Don’t give up no matter what!

Heart Fire of Love!

Never let the flame go out!

Heart Fire of Love!

You got to just do it!

You got to kick it,

You got to punch it,

You got to beat it,

You got to break it,

You got to, just do it.

Heart Fire of Love!

You got to push it to the end.

Heart Fire of Love!

You need to work it out.

Heart Fire of Love!

Fight till the bitter end!

YOU GOT TO, JUST DO IT!!!

Heart Fire of Love!

Don’t give up no matter what!

Heart Fire of Love!

Never let the flame go out!

Heart Fire of Love!

Heart Fire of Love!

Heart Fire of Love!

Heart Fire of Love!

Beat that kid up, you can do it…

Yeah my mind is uhhh… my mind goes into dark places and I don’t know why some of the time. You could say I have mental problems, but I don’t, it just has a mind of its own and I question my own sanity from time to time, despite everything that has happened.

Who knows, maybe you are all part of my imagination and this is not even a journal that I’m writing right now and it’s just all part of some sick fuck’s fan fiction to something… maybe… who knows.

1 HOUR LEFT

Anyways, after that series of physical movements and pushing myself and just sweating like a hog in the hot summer sun, I had stopped, was breathing heavily a bit, and my heart going a mile a minute as I could feel it beat against my chest. I was calming down, standing out in the living room area with Wolf still sitting there, but this time with his sunglasses and drinking something out of a plastic cup with a straw, assumingly he got up and got himself a drink from the fridge or some shit while I was in the middle of training. He was also holding the cup with his right paw and occasionally drinking from it from time to time.

And as he was sitting there, I had a little smile on my face and asked him, “So Wolf, how’d I do? You think I’m good for whatever the Universe and that Douchebag throws at me in an hour from now?”

Wolf then said, “Well the challenge is supposed to be a magic a competition, but I’d say you lost half a pound and have good cholesterol levels.”

I then had wide eyes for a few seconds, but then went back into a pissed off and annoyed look on my face as I then said to him, “Fuck, I just wasted two hours dicking around didn’t I?”

Wolf then said to me, “Yup, looks like you’re up shit creek without a paddle their buddy”

I then said to him, “Fuck you. Fuck me, what am I going to do now, there is less than an hour left.”

Wolf then asked me, “Well can’t you just come up with a spell or something? It’s easy for you right?”

I then said to Wolf while having a look on my face that looked like I was trying to explain something complicated and rolling my eyes back, “Well, kind of. It is easy; although it does eventually all take a toll on my mind in the end after enough times of doing it. Also I most of the time don’t really care and too lazy to keep it all together, you know? I mean sure, I have the potential to cure cancer and solve world hunger, but do I feel like doing it? Nope. And besides, I would need to do spells on the fly, like a temporary spell or some shit. Like do something like that Green Lantern fella does in the comics, but in spell form.”

Wolf then told me, “How about one of those Buddhists mumbo jumbo that you’ve told me about once?”

I then said to Wolf, with a little pissed off look, “Oh, that you remember, but not the show? Fucker… but you do have a point though. Perhaps some meditation… hmmmm, let me try something real quick.”

I then sat down on my pony ass and had both my back legs be in front of me and also have both ends touch each other while I pointed both of my arms, fore hooves… whatever… and closed my eyes and remained silent and tried to look deep within my mind… just like what an Asian would do.

SOMEWHERE WITHIN KNIGHT’S MIND…

After getting myself into a meditation state, I was then surrounded by complete darkness. I was standing, in my pony form and not in human form, which was kind of weird, but it was probably because I saw myself in my pony form, so I just consciously was left in my pony form. Anyways, I was standing on all fours, looking all around me, and other than my own self, I could only see nothing but darkness.

And as I was turning my head left and right, I then said to myself, “Huh… I expected more from this.”

And then a disembodied, wise, male voice rang out to me and said, “Then you aren’t very bright are you?”

My eyes shot wide open and then I turned my head around once more trying to see who was talking to me. I asked out loud, “Who said that?”

The disembodied voice then said to me, “Think Knight, who could I be?”

My eyes calmed down a bit and I then said, “The shit that I see nightly in the darkness of my bedroom whenever I try to see in the dark?”

The disembodied voice then said to me, “Clearly you do not see straight. Take a second to think about it again. Clear your mind and open your eyes and only then can you see clearly.”

I then said to myself softly, “Clear my mind and open my eyes? What the fuck does that even mean?”

I then looked down at that dark ground and tried to think.

I then continued to say softly to myself, “Alright then, I got to try since I’m already in here. Come on Knight, you can clear your mind, hell, I’m already in my mind and its empty. Clear my mind and open my eyes; clear my mind and open my eyes.”

I closed my eyes real tight and moved around a little bit while doing so, and after concentrating real hard and trying to vaguely clear my mind and open my eyes, I started to feel something in my heart, or perhaps it wasn’t my heart, but something near it, it wasn’t my arteries. No, I felt… something, and after feeling it for a few seconds, I got the idea in my head that I did clear my head.

And then the disembodied voice then said to me while holding my eyes down tight, “You’ve got it. Now… open your eyes and you can finally see.”

And so I followed the instructions of the disembodied voice and I opened up my eyes. What I saw was still the darkness, the empty space that I was surrounded by, but the difference this time was that pretty much right in front up in my face was a person, a man no less of course. He looked a little bit like the Dude from The Big Lebowski, with the long rugged beard and long, a little curled up, hippy like hair.

He was also dressed up in rags and other pieces of cloths that seemed to have been randomly thrown together as if he was in some sort of rush to get somewhere on time and he just woke up late. As for the person, he was of course taller than me since he was a human, or at the very least human looking, but he didn’t tower too much over me, and possibly for good reason considering it was all in my mind. But I looked up towards him as he looked down towards me with a warm, welcoming smile that anyone would like to see. However I didn’t smile back and just looked a little confused, but curious.

I asked the dude, “Who are you? And where am I supposed to be right now?”

The dude then said to me, “Why, this is your mind, you’re just not used to seeing it like this, nor how to control it when you’re in it.”

He started to walk around as I was sort of following him around with my eyes, still looking curious, yet starting to get a tad bit annoyed since he didn’t answer my first question.

I then asked him, “Well I figured that much kind of. But is it always this empty?”

The dude then said to me, “Well no, it can be filled with many things, just like the outside of the universe, assuming you know how to do it that is…”

I then said in a mellowed out tone as he was walking around me while making appropriate hand gestures, “So you know about that place too huh?”

The dude then said to me, “Well of course I do. I know what you know, plus more than what you know about yourself.”

I then started to get annoyed so I then asked him, “Ok, yeah, but who are you though?”

The dude then said to me with still a warm smile on his face with a slight chuckle, “Where are my manors, I am sort of your own, personal spiritual guide that can help you in certain situations if you are in need of any kind of assistance. I was sort of born with you in a way, but kind of not, it get’s hard to explain as your consciousness wouldn’t be able to fully understand it at all. Just think of me as a helping little friend that is always with you near your heart. Although, you could always call me John.”

I then asked him with no emotion on my face, “John?”

John then said to me, “Yes, like John Doe since I was born with no name to begin with really. It’s only fitting, unless you perhaps would like to give me a name?”

I then rolled my eyes and put my right hoof to my chin and thought about it for a while, all the while going “hmmmmm...”, but I just ended up saying to John while looking back at him, “Nah, just call yourself Johnny, makes it sound cooler. Look, can you just help me out Johnny? I’ve got a challenge to go to and I have less than an hour to be ready and I need to make sure the magic that I have is in tip top shape, you hear me? So can you help me out or do I have to kick you out and find someone else?”

I had said like I was serious, although truthfully it was a little bit in good fun, and I think Johnny could tell, as he gave a little chuckle as he said back to me, “Johnny it is then Knight. And no need to rush. In your mind, an hour out there is like several hours in here. And as for your little problem, you just simply need to do what you did with me, clear your mind and open your eyes.”

Johnny got close to me when he said that and as he was; I just looked straight up to him and said, “Yeah, that’s not going to cut it. Look, I know I can make the spells and what not, but I kind of need to make things happen while on the fly, you know, even if it’s for a little bit and whatever is thrown my way?”

I had made a bit of a hopeful expression on my face when I had said that.

And as for Johnny’s response, he just simply said to me, “Well, I am your friend here, and so I shall help you.”

And then as we were staring towards each other, the entire darkness disappeared around me and turned into bright, white snow. To get a better idea what I’m talking about, we were no longer in an empty, dark room. Instead, everything around me turned into a mountain like setting. We were on the tippy top of a range of very tall mountains with being near the edge of falling off and all around was snow, all the while there was a snow storm raging against us very fiercely, although we could both hold our positions.

But the sudden change in light did make me squint as the light was too bright too fast as I held up my left forearm over my eyes. But after a few seconds of getting used to the light, I slowly put my left arm down and I started to look all around me. In a way, it was kind of a beautiful scenery, but also it was kind of frightening since it looked like we were very high up and could die, even though that wasn’t a possibility. But I looked down with sort of wide eyes to see that there was several inches of snow under me and all I could see around me was an endless mountain range with snow blowing in every direction.

I looked towards Johnny as he continued to smile warmly towards me, “What is this place!? Did you do this?”

Johnny then said to me, “Of course I didn’t, this is all you!”

He then turned around and spread out his arms like an eagle as he was presenting the whole land towards me like it was some great piece of art from a museum.

After he had turned his back towards me and my look turned into a curious one, he then lightly turned his head towards me and said with a smile, “But of course, you had a little help along the way.”

And then he let himself fall off the edge to where I couldn’t see him. My eyes went wide of course as I took a couple steps forward to see if he had committed suicide, with a look of curiosity on my face.

And after I took a couple of steps to see, an eagle flew really fast in front of me forward and Johnny’s voice came from that eagle, “CLEAR YOUR MIND AND OPEN YOUR EYES KNIGHT!”

And in that moment, as I looked at him flying away, I started to think about those simple and few words that he had said to me. It was like poetry, like it rhymed and there was a philosophical meaning to it all. It was almost like a life changing event and that it was a message for me to turn over a new leaf and to have a new outlook on life, and to perhaps see the world and life itself in a different light.

Nah, I’m just messing with you, I just shrugged a little and said to myself, “Fuck it.”

And then I went off the edge as well, and just like Johnny, before my very eyes, I was flying like an eagle. Well, not an eagle, but like a hawk, or a weird cross between an eagle and a hawk.

It was kind of weird, but I was flying just like him and I was flying through the snow storm like a breeze and through the mountain range. And as the land before me was passing my by like time passing a mortal by, the words that Johnny had said to me started to ring in my head constantly over and over again as it got progressively louder and louder.

And the more that it did, the more that I started to concentrate. And soon I started to feel something again near my heart, and before you knew it, I opened up my eyes and was in the living room with Wolf being still on the couch, but lying down lazily, and still in the position that I had left myself in.

And when I did, Wolf suddenly woke up and asked me in a half confused, half mellowed out state, “So… did you find something?” I then gave a hard look of seriousness and determination in my eyes as I then said to him, “I know what to do… I think...”

And then it was off to the challenge.

BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN…

After that was over, it was time to face Douchebag. Well, I saw him… let me explain. Me and Wolf left the library and we headed back straight to the center of Stalia where Douchebag was still at, waiting for me, and with only twenty one minutes left to spare. When we made it back, everyone there that was in the crowd before was waiting for us, with my ‘friends’ also waiting for me with Forrest being the eager one, rooting for me to beat Douchebag.

Once I had made it back, I had the look of confidence on my face, as Wolf had the look of a stoner on his face, so it kind of made me look bad, but I didn’t say anything to Wolf because that would have hurt his feelings and something about friendship or some shit. Anyways, everyone had made room for me and Douchebag to fight in, so it wasn’t on the wooden stage from before.

The room that we were given was kind of big, just not that big. And it was more or less like an alley way sort of speak, with both ends being open. And as I showed up, Douchebag was pacing back and forth, looking pissed as he was waiting for me.

And once I showed up, his head popped up and he started to have a grin form on his face as he pointed towards me and asked, “So, you ready to face me or do you want to forfeit now and admit that I am the most magnificent one here?”

I had then turned my face from a serious one to a I don’t care one and I just said to Douchebag, “Yeah I really don’t care about the whole magnificent thing. I mean it’s kind of… or whatever, LET’S JUST GET THIS SHIT OVER WITH ALREADY!”

I had said that last part with a bit of anger on my face since I did want to get the whole thing over with, I mean I had plans that day, I just didn’t expect the stuff to repeat that soon.

But with that being said, Douchebag then gave a little huffing sound and then simply said to me while closing his and taking his position on his end of the little arena, “Fine, have it your way then.”

He then soon took position and I took mine’s on the other end with Wolf sticking to the sidelines.

And before we began, I looked towards Douchebag and asked him, “So, how is this all going to go down?”

Douchebag then said to me with a grin, “How? How this is going to go down is that I will beat you and I will win!”

He had raised both his forearms up and briefly stood up on his back legs. From there, he then went back down going back to all fours.

I then looked towards him, but annoyed and asked him, “No you idiot, I mean what are the rules?”

Douchebag then had wide eyes and seemed a little embarrassed and then said to me, “Oh uhhh… I don’t know, I never really think about rules.”

I then said in a sort of calmed down, yet still in an annoyed state on my face, “How about we each take a turn doing a spell and whoever the crowd cheers for the most wins. We can do best two out of three.”

Douchebag then said to me with a little, genuine smile, “Sounds good.”

He then started to go back to his grin, “I shall go first since I am the one with the talent!”

I then said to him in an annoyed tone, “Good for ya, I’m proud of ya Engineer”

He then said with grace while closing his eyes, “Thank you.”

He then had a sort of sinister looking smile form on his face as he raised both of his forearms up and said to the crowd, “NOW EVERYPONY STAND BACK, BE AMAZED AS I NOW SHALL CAST A SPELL OF LEVIATION!”

I then said sarcastically, “Oh no… not levitation…”

However Douchebag wasn’t being intimidated as he just looked towards me with a little strain in his eyes as he said to me, “Oh, but you don’t know what I’ll levitate! PLEASE MAY EVERYPONY LOOK TOWARDS THE WOODEN STAGE! PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT IT IS MADE OUT OF PURE, SOLID WOOD AND WOULD TAKE SEVERAL, POSSIBLY HUNDREDS OF STRONG STALLIONS TO EVEN LIFT IT UP A SINGLE INCH!!!”

While saying that, Douchebag didn’t turn around to face the stage and had closed his eyes with a smile with sheer confidence, all the while everyone from the crowd turned around to pay attention to what Douchebag was going to do. I was paying attention as well, curious what he was going to try and do.

And with that, Douchebag looked at me and kept his attention on me, not glancing or what it looked like to be concentrating on the stage. And as he was staring at me and giving me the stink eye, his horn lit up and the stage without force or resistance was just lifted up from the ground like a balloon. It rose into the air, above several tens of feet as everyone went “oooo” and “ahhhhh” in the crowd.

As for me, I just rolled my eyes and softly said under my breath, “I lifted a building once like that years ago, nothing special.”

However Douchebag never caught on to that and just gave me a wide evil looking grin thinking that he had gotten me beat. However he didn’t just lift it off the ground like a hot air balloon, but rather he did some little tricks with the wooden stage as well.

He first spun it around like it was some battling tops from an anime, and then he proceeded to move it around over the heads of the crowd as the audience were astonished by this act of his, even though he could have easily crushed them all to death, but hey, who cares, look at the pretty colors like an autistic kid that makes a cringy YouTube channel name with ‘BEIBER FAN’S TEARS’ and somehow thinking he is hot shit for doing it with a really big ego that has been long been deflated. Yet he still thinks it’s there because he cries himself to sleep every night cause he can’t get the girl from OnlyFans to say his NAME despite maxing out all of his parents credit cards. Yet he somehow believes he’s doing great in life despite being in rock bottom and will never admit it even though he knows it deep down that it’s true but rather doing anything about it, he just sits there and sticks his thumb up his asshole pretending to believe that he’s the kid from Harry Potter and that he wasn’t beaten enough by his father as a kid… you know that kind of crowd when they look into the face of death.

Anyways after trying to show off his skills, Douchebag then safely put the wooden stage back down in its place from where he picked it up and did it all without breaking a sweat. Although he did probably break his eyes from staring at me for so long… those eyes were looking pretty dry to say the least. Also the crowd didn’t cheer, they were appeased though, but no cheer, but I don’t think Douchebag caught on and thought I would just lose as he got all the ‘ooooooos’ and ‘aahhhhhs.’

Anyways, the crowd’s attention went back to the both of us as Douchebag then pointed at me and said with a big, egotistical smile, “AH HA! THAT WAS ONE OF MY MANY OF MY MAGNIFICENT TRICKS! AND I HAVE MANY MORE FROM WHERE THAT CAME FROM! SO, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STILL BEAT ME NOW!? DO YOU FEEL LIKE… GIVING UP!? THERE’S NO SHAME IN GIVING UP NOW, YOU CAN JUST WALK AWAY AND I WON’T TELL THE WHOLE OF EQUESTRIA HOW FOOLISH YOU MADE YOURSELF LOOK FOR TYING TO CHALLENGE ME IN THE BOOK I’M GOING TO WRITE CALLED I’M BETTER THAN YOU AND HERE’S WHY! It’s a working title, thinking I’m going to go with Magnificent! A Tell All from Harry Himself. Copyright pending of course.”

I then stared at him, unamused and said to him, “Yeah I’m not doing that… I can beat that…”

However Douchebag was unamused with my words as well as he then said with still his egotistical smile, “WELL I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!”

I then said to him, “Ok…”

And from there, I said to myself softly and under my breath, “Alright then Knight, you can do this. Just remember what the magic man in my head said, Clear my mind and open my eyes. Clear my mind and open my eyes. Clear my mind and open my eyes.”

And so I stood firmly on the ground, digging deep little bit into the Earth, and closed my eyes real tight so I could concentrate. I didn’t have a spell written to top what Douchebag did, or at least any that I could remember. Hey, I’m a lazy fuck sometimes, what can I say, but at least I admit it compared to Wolf. And half the time I just don’t really care.

But because I didn’t have anything written down, I had to concentrate real hard on what to do, because to put it simply; my magic worked different from Twilight or Celestia since they needed to see the spell and practice with it and blah blah blah, for me it was more or less trying to concentrate with my body and mind kind of like how it was for me back in the outside of the universe. I can still write it down, but it was more of a feeling than a logical thinking, it’s kind of hard to explain when you’re not a unicorn with magical horn. Surprising, I know. So I stood there, trying to concentrate real hard on what I was trying to do, which was pretty much winging it by that point, and after a brief few seconds of anticipated silence from everyone in crowd and a curious Douchebag, awaiting to see what I would pull off, my horn lit up and formed an aurora and… nothing happened. I opened up my eyes, a bit in distress, and looked around and nothing happened.

And Douchebag was loving it as well as he then laughed and proclaimed to me “HA HA HA! I TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULDN’T BEST ME! YOU JUST MADE A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF AND…

And soon Douchebag was cut off as something then did happen, it was just a delay, as everyone started to slowly and gently float up and levitate from the ground, including me, to which I had a small smile form on my face since it kind of felt nice. As for the crowd, including my ‘friends’, they were too “oooing” and “aaaahhhhing” at my feat.

We didn’t go that far of course, it was only like a few feet from off the ground, but it was everyone within like a twenty one feet radius actually. And not only was it the ponies, but objects including the wooden stage floated as well. However Douchebag was sour as he was floating and crossed his arms, as he knew this topped his spell that he had done.

And after a minute or two of being and feeling weightless and some of the ponies having a little fun with the magic trick, I used my horn, closed my eyes, and turned it off. It was like an anti-gravity spell that I had came up with one the fly…although I didn’t write it down so I couldn’t replicate it if I wanted to, I would have to come up with something else if I had wanted to so again. And as I turned back on the gravity, I made sure to have everyone return safely, including the Douchebag named Douchebag. And as the crowd remained happy and satisfied from their experience after landing, they all cheered and applauded for me, and my small smile was still there since I didn’t expect to that happen. Again, I was winging it, so lucky me.

But Douchebag was not happy however, as he had a pissed off look on his face as he then said to me, “OK THEN, SO YOU BEAT ME ONCE, BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT YOU WON’T BEAT ME IN THE NEXT ROUND! I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT! AND YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED TO WIN, YOU HEAR ME! EVEN IF I HAVE TO FORGE ALL THE VOTES AND… oh excuse me, I shouldn’t have said that. That was for something else in the next town over and uhhh… just forget that I even said it. Anyways… YOU WON’T BE ALLOWED TO WIN, AND I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT A PONY WITH TRUE TALENT HAS! AND THAT IS ME, ME ME ME ME, I I I I YOU HEAR ME!? ON TO THE NEXT ROUND!”

He was saying it with such anger in his voice, as if he was almost afraid of losing to me. He was acting up in a way like a group of people that go online and say, “Me me me me, I I I I” all the time in an online chat forum, and yet get shitted on every time, yet question why they get shitted on all the time, yet can ever come to the conclusion as to why they do, so they continue to act the way that they do thinking it’s going to change something.

But then they realize they caught the Big Gay and die in the end because the Big Gay is a deadly disease and we all need to wear cheaply made medical masks for the next fifty years and to never go outside cause you don’t want to catch the Big Gay. Be a good goy and put your mask on. It can protect you from everything including AIDS, mercury (the bad kind), big meanie words that might hurt your feweeings, and so much more, just like the school desks from the 1950’s that said it could protect the kids from nuclear bombs.

You can trust me, I’m a doctor and you must listen to your doctor, ok, I’m a doctor, I’m your doctor, I’m a medical hero. You gotta listen to me and praise me endlessly like the Golden Calf cause I’m a big boy being brave or some shit or you’re gonna catch the Big Gay and die. You don’t want to die do you? Dying is bad and we can’t let dying happen. No one is allowed to die. You don’t want your more than likely already dead (or wants to die already) grandma to die do you? (Although who gives a fuck about grandpa, am I right?)

So you gotta listen to me right now and do as you’re told. You’re letting the “Human Spirit” and “Muh Freedom” get in the way of doing what you’re told because if you don’t do these 6 things, you are three times more likely to die of the Big Gay. But don’t worry, a vaccine made by a guy who stole an OS and sold it to everyone else and possibly hates the entire continent of Africa and possibly all the blacks and possibly says the the big no no n-word ni🅱🅱er in his sleep every night is going to make the cure and it will be made by 6 other doctors that definitely know what they’re doing, and it will be tested out on only 6 people before being approved for everyone else to take, despite what the results turn out from those tests.

Even if you get a stroke, who cares, fuck you. Just remember that Africa gets the vaccines first for no sinister reason. You know those kind of people… what? Anyways, I didn’t say a word and Douchebag then went ahead with the next one.

Before he performed the trick, he said to everyone in the crowd, “ALRIGHT THEN EVERYPONY! IF MY FIRST TRICK DIDN’T AMAZE YOU ENOUGH TO APPLAUD FOR ME, THEN THIS ONE SURELY WILL AND BEAT THAT LAST TRICK OUT OF THE WATER!”

And so Douchebag fired up his horn and after a few seconds of waiting, nothing also happened. And everyone in the crowd was confused as we all just stood there; wondering if anything was going to happen. Douchebag however was keeping his head down while looking at me funny with an evil looking grin on his face as he too dug a little bit into the ground, holding his position.

This went on for a bit until some random fruity sounding stallion spoke up and asked, “Excuse me but uhhh… is anything supposed to be happening right now?”

Douchebag just simply said without taking his eyes off of me, “Look to the sky.”

And then everyone did including me as we all turned our heads upwards. And once we did, everyone, including me, had our mouths agape as what we saw before us was a giant glass dome that definitely wasn’t taken from a book or a movie, I swear. No seriously, I sear, Douchebag doesn’t know about The Simpsons Movie at all. It was just a lucky coincidence.

And with that being said, the big giant glass dome was big enough to cover the entire town of Stalia, which was kind of big to begin with, and it hovered over the town. And without a single word, Douchebag then made the giant glass dome land on the ground and seal Stalia under the dome. And with that, the entire crowd gave a big cheer and applause for Douchebag’s act.

And as he did, the glass dome then broke into millions of tiny little pieces, raining down upon the town and possibly killing a pony or two that day… somewhere as they screamed in pain and agony as their life was swiftly taken from them as the glass pierced their bodies and that we will never know who it was or what they were doing right before they died as the glass seeped into their eye sockets and shattered their skulls as they slowly, painfully, died a death for the ages….

………………

Anyways, Douchebag with his big ego was then taking a bow and have a smile as if he had done one of the most amazing acts ever.

After which, Douchebag then looked to me with that stink eye of his and asked me, “So then…you think you can beat that… Knight?”

I then said to him, a bit nervously because there was no way I could do that, not off the bat anyways, “Of course I can… I uhh… I can do something waaaaaaay better than that… he he?...”

I had a nervous smile on my face as my eyes were shifting from side to side at the audience, wondering if anyone could smell my doubt. However, there was only an awkward silence from everyone else as they were waiting on me.

So I took a gulp, was a little worried, but went back and did the same thing before from the first trick as I said to myself softly, “Clear your mind and open your eyes. Clear your mind and open your eyes. Clear your mind and open your eyes.”

And after what felt like a long time, I opened up my eyes after closing them to try and concentrate and relaxed my muscles a bit, to see what I had done. And what I had done was make a medium sized, spinning metal disc that hovered over the crowd.

And not the entire audience either, it was like about half way and it did absolutely nothing aside from spinning… like from a spinning tops anime. I had said to myself under my breath quietly, “Well… I lost that round”, with a disappointing look on my face.

And from there the audience gave a slight weep of approval as Jack then yelled at me from the crowd, “BOOOOO! DO SOMETHING BETTER YOU LOSER!”

I then annoyingly rolled my eyes at him after he had said that and just said to myself, “Thanks for the confidence booster asshole…”

And with that, I had lost that round, and what comes with that was a very big gloating from Douchebag as he pointed at me with his left hoof and said, “HA HA HA HA! YOU LOST! YOU LOST I TELL YOU! YOU LOST! I’M THE WINNER! I DID IT! I’M THE GREATEST AND I AM BETTER THAN YOU! HA HA HA HA! ACCEPT THAT YOU LOST YOU LOSER! HA HA HA HA! I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!”

I then told him, somewhat pissed off cause it was starting to get hard to bare his gloating like an asshole, “There’s still one round left. It’s tied one to one Douchebag!”

Douchebag then said to me, “HA HA HA HA, HA HA HA… oh right. Apologizes then… BUT IF YOU DON’T ACCEPT THAT YOU LOST, I’M GONNA… I’M GONNA DECLARE CIVIL WAR ON YOU AND UHHH… THREAT TO BOMB YOUR HOUSE… YEAH!...”

I just rolled my eyes at him after he had said that since that sounded very autistic of him to say.

I then said to him, “Whatever, can we just get on with it!?” Then Douchebag then said, as the medium sized metal spinning disc didn’t disappear, it just stood there hovering and spinning like a kid during a school shooting where the school shooter says to not move, “FINE, PREPARE TO BE AMAZED ALL OF YOU, AS THIS WILL SURELY GIVE ME MY WIN AGAINIST KNIGHT!”

He had said that while standing on his two back legs and while raising his forearms into the air with emotion and feeling. And so Douchebag closed his eyes tightly like I did and concentrated while firing up his magical horn. And from there, after a few seconds, he casted a spell that then made a box of what appeared to have been uncounted ballots as it was written on the side ‘Ballots Yet To Counted’ appear right in front of him.

And as soon as Douchebag realized this, he was a little annoyed as he said to himself, “Ah shit, not that, I meant to do the other thing!”

And then he made the box of uncounted ballots disappear and then in that place, made a fancy stallion dressed all up in a suit and tie with a really big tall hate, monocle, and cane appear instead. And this pony was confused as he was looking at his surroundings, and confused as to what just happened.

And soon as this happened, Douchebag raised his right forearms up and told everyone, “GAZE UPON MY ACHIEVEMENT FOR I HAVE JUST TELEPORTED THIS FINE GENTLECOLT HERE ALL THE WAY FROM MANEHATTEN!”

Everyone in the crowd was unamused as you could hear metaphorical crickets chirping in the background.

And so Douchebag looked a tad bit nervous so he came up with what sounded like a quick, but convincing lie, keyword being sounded like, “Uhhh… FROM FIVE MINUTES FROM THE FUTURE!”

After that statement, the crowd went nuts and cheered him on while Douchebag had a calming smile on his face as he felt like he did it.

And then the random stallion got up near Douchebag’s face and asked him kindly, “Excuse me, but where am I right now?”

Douchebag then said with an annoying look on his face, “Get the fuck out of here you scrub.”

And he had then teleported him back to Manehatten… assumingly from the near future. Was he from the near future… probably not, and yeah that’s considered cheating but did any of the drug filled audience give a damn? No, and honestly neither did I because you just get to the point where you just don’t care anymore… Anyways, that was Douchebag’s last try, and now on to my last try.

For me, I remained a little nervous once again since the audience seemed easy to please, yet hard to read. So I didn’t say anything to myself this time around and just concentrated, and after a few seconds went by, a big metal thingy appeared right in front of me with a bunch of flashing and shiny buttons and everyone was confused. I was confused too, and was extremely worried what was going to happen since I had no clue what happened. I was concentrating on trying to come up with something that would knock everyone’s socks off real hard, trying to think real hard about something… and somehow that came up.

So I looked at the audience, gave a little nervous laugh and said to them all, “Just part of the act.”

Douchebag on the other hand remained curious. So I went up to the metal thingy that had a bunch of buttons, it was about my height as a pony if I was standing on my back two legs, and that’s what I did. And I started pressing random buttons, hoping to god that something would happen. Thankfully something did happen as after I pressed something, the medium sized spinning metal disc then responded with some loud, deep bass noises that sounded like musical notes, almost like a song but it wasn’t a song, it was just high and low pitches that were very deep, as it lit up with bright, colorful lights.

And everyone looked up to that disc, including me with wide eyes, not sure what to make out of it. So I then went ahead and quickly started to press more random buttons, and the more that I pressed, the more in tune the noises sounded to be in.

And after about like I don’t know three minutes of doing nothing but pressing buttons and making it look like I was communicating with the disc in some capacity, even though I had no fucking clue if I was doing it to begin with, the disc gave its last loud noises that were deep and sounded like the brown note, took off, and the metal thingy with all the buttons had a tiny, self contained explosion.

And from there, I looked to the crowd nervously with a little sweat and said to them softly, “Ta daaaaaaaaa…”, as I held out my right hoof.

And then… there was no cheers for me and it sounded like I had lost. But then after that, the crowd cheered and applauded for me about the same as they did with douchebag, and I had a little smile on my face as it had sounded like I had won the competition.

This of course didn’t go over so easy with Douchebag as he came up to me, with a sour tone in his voice and an annoyed and angered frown and said to me, “How could this be!? HOW COULD WE BOTH BE TIED! IT WAS BEST TWO OUT OF THREE FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE!”

I then was a bit confused as I then asked; “Tied?”

Douchebag then annoyingly said to me, “Yes, we’re tied. Didn’t you hear the audience’s applause was roughly the same for the both of us?”

I then stood there for a bit and thought about it as I took my right hoof to my chin and then said, “Oh, I guess you’re right. I guess we are tied huh?”

Douchebag then said with both of his hooves out in frustration, “WELL THIS WON’T DO! We need a new challenge then, a tie breaker of sorts… let me think… hmmmmm…”

I just stood there waiting for an answer for him, waiting to see what he could come up with so we could get it all over with… until Neon walked by and said to the both of us, “How about fighting an User Major?”

My eyes then became wide as I had not expected Neon to even suggest that and knew that he was trying to fuck with me as I swiftly then turned towards Neon in distress and yelled to Neon, “NEON, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

However it was too late as Douchebag got his “ah ha” moment as he said out loud, “That’s it! I’ve got it!”

He then proceeded to look at me with his stink eye again, still being close to me, “We shall have a tie breaker between you and I. And the tie breaker shall be whoever takes down an User Major first and brings some sort of evidence to prove that they did, wins! What do you say Knight? Sounds like a deal?”

And for me, I just stood there with wide worried eyes and said to myself, “Fuck me…”

LATER THAT DAY AT THE LIBARAY…

And that’s why you shouldn’t stick your dick into vodka after outing your ding a long into a woman’s crusty vagina or else you get the dick cheese. And if it burns, well that’s your fault, maybe you shouldn’t be banging every whore you see. The rule is you only bang the ones that have a tattoo because they think they are being bad ass that way and they are strong. I mean what?

Well, that’s how it ended between me and Douchebag for the fight. Nevertheless, of course, just like an angst, edgy teen’s depression it was far from over. In fact, it couldn’t be more than 9/11. In the end, Harry was only more or less pissed that this whole thing ended up being a tie. And I had to agree to it, although to clarify, there was no time limit. It was just whoever could do it first, so sooner the better.

Anyways, after that had happened, me and Wolf headed back to our home, I kicked down the door like last time, a little pissed and annoyed, as Wolf was telling me, “Come on Knight, how bad can it be?”

I then responded to him, “How bad can it be!? HOW BAD CAN IT BE!? IT’S A FUCKING USER MAJOR, I REMEMEBER IT FROM THE SHOW AND THERE IS NO WAY I WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE IT DOWN… Well… not without it being bloody. I mean I could kill it, but I would need TK’s help. I was never good at taking down something big like that without help. I’m more used to smaller thing like rats.”

Wolf then looked at me with squinting eyes with also a disgusted look on top and said to me, “You kill rats? You monster.”

I then said to him, “Oh don’t give me that fucking shit Wolf! And that’s beside the point! I have to figure out how to take down an User Major… and I am not entirely sure if I can figure it out with my magic. Sure, I’m sure my magic is strong enough for it, yet I’m not entirely sure how it all works still.”

Wolf then asked me, “But didn’t you go to Celestia’s school for a number of years though?”

I then told Wolf, “Wolf, most of the time I was either skipping class, sleeping, or jerking around. I literally paid the nerd to do some of my homework and just half assed the in class magic tests to where I could at the very least be passable in Celestia’s eyes. I didn’t pay attention to that shit… let alone remember half the shit that Celestia taught me. Seriously, she expects me to remember all those techniques, like no fucking way is that ever going to happen.”

Wolf then asked me, “Yet somehow you still got an A in Calculus?”

I then corrected Wolf calmly and said to him, “No Wolf, I got a C in that class. That was the one where I would skip every other day, and every other day that I would go to it, I would just sit back in the class room and then jerk around like a mother fucker.”

Wolf then said to me, “Oh yeah, I remember now, I was right there with ya.”

Then I said to Wolf, “No… no you weren’t. you were too busy doing god knows what like trying to get laid by one of the mares or lying around while I did all the work and then maybe occasionally you did you something every now and then…… You were nothing more than dead weight.”

Wolf then told me, “Yes, but I was dead weight that was your best buddy… and still am!”

He had said with a big smile as if I was supposed to smile along with him.

However I just stood there, with no smile with a slight disappointing look on my face as I just stood there and asked Wolf, “You’re proud of that aren’t you?”

Wolf had then said to me with a slightly bigger smile while moving his wooden paw to the side with emotion, “You’re damn right I am!”

And after he had said that, I couldn’t help but have a little smile on my face as I then said to him, “I guess you are.”

Wolf then said to me, “DAMN RIGHT! Now go get that User Major while I stay back and hold down the fort!”

I then said to Wolf with my small smile disappearing, “You mean you’re just going to stay back, smoke weed, eat all the food, and get drunk again while I could potentially die somewhere out in the Everfree Forest?”

Wolf then said to me with such enthusiasm, “And get molested by Princess Molestia of course!”

I didn’t say a word to him and just instead rolled my eyes sarcastically at him.

IN THE LIBARAY ROOM…

So after Wolf and I had that little conversation, we went ahead and went to the library room where Wolf went ahead and sat in the leather chair that was sitting in the room as he watched me go through all of the books. For me, I was going through all of the books, and when I mean by going through, I was just briefly glancing at the spines to see if there was anything on animals or User Majors.

Sadly, I didn’t find any as I was struggling along with my eyes to find anything that would be particularly relevant to my quest. But as I searched from the bottom book shelf to the top book shelf, I could not find one single book related to my issue that I was having.

I had came across some books related to How to Summon Satan by a Hambone, What’s the Deal with Air? A book of Stand Up Jokes by a CGI Bee, Laugh, Live and Love, a Story about my Life by someone who’s going to be a millionaire because you’re stupid enough to buy this book; seriously that was the author’s name. Then of course there was other books with the titles such as Birds and the Bess: A tale of war and Apples by Mac Farmer, self published, My Zigga, My Wigga: How to Cool with Zebras by ZibbyWibby, and A Book of AIDS: What they are and where to find them and catch them.

Then there was a bunch of untitled and blank books with no titles on the spines or no covers, just leather bound fancy books. So as I had a bit of a look of disappointment as well as a sign of a struggle on my face, I kept thinking in my head that there had to be a book about the subject of User Majors somewhere, but I just couldn’t find any. Granted the library was small and honestly I didn’t even know what was in the library, despite me being the one that was to be trusted with these books.

As I was struggling to find the book that I so much needed, Wolf asked me as he was lounging around in the chair that he was in, “So, did you find it yet?”

I then said to Wolf without looking at him with an annoyed look on my face, “No Wolf, not yet. I just can’t seem to find anything related to animals or the Everfree Forest at all.”

Wolf then suggested to me, “Well maybe Twilight might have something in her library.”

I then gave a little sigh and turned around to look at Wolf and told him, “No I am not going over there.”

Wolf then asked me, “Why not? You’re starting to agree with everypony here that Ponyville sucks or something?”

Wolf had looked a bit curious when had said that, almost like a tease.

However I then told Wolf, with a bit of frustration in my voice, “No Wolf, I ain’t going over there because I’m staying far away from there right now. If I go over there, I suspect the Universe will only make my situation worse. So I’m trying to avoid all contact with the Mane Six as possible when it comes to these repeats and try to make it as simple as possible. But of course nothing simple is it Wolf… especially with you and the other Wolf.”

Wolf then asked me, “Well what about the show? Didn’t they say anything about User Majors on the show that you watched back on earth?”

I then said to Wolf, “No because the writers didn’t feel the need to explore the mythos. Well they did, but not with Zebras. I think they have a thing against Zebras or something. Look it doesn’t matter, the show isn’t going to fucking help me and this is… starting to get on my damn nerves.”

Wolf then said to me, “Well someone sounds cranky, does someone need to take a nap?”

I then said to Wolf, “Fuck off. Now I’ve got to figure something out. But the problem is that not only do I not know how to take down an User Major, but where to find one in the Everfree… DAMN IT THIS IS SO HARD!”

I was clearly starting to lose it, but Wolf then calmly said to me, in a somewhat lazy fashion I might add, “So why not go ask Arrell, he’s an animal expert isn’t he?”

And within that moment, I got that ah ha moment as my eyes lit up and I said to Wolf, “Huh… I didn’t think of that. Thanks Wolf, I guess you aren’t such dead weight after all. You’re just dead weight that comes up with a decent idea every once in a blue moon.”

I had said that last part with my eye calming down.

And Wolf then just said to me as he was getting comfortable in his little spot, “And I’m happy about it. Now good luck and what not… get some eggs on your way back or something.”

I then said to Wolf, “We already have eggs.”

Wolf then said to me, “Then we need more lube. I need more for my long wood… so I can stick it up a hole… you get it Knight… you get what I’m saying? You get it…”

Wolf was saying that last bit to me by looking at me with a funny looking smile as he was expecting me to get it as I just sat there unamused by his antics.

And then I sort of cut off Wolf by saying to him, “Use Vaseline instead asshole.”

I was not in the mood to bare the way that he was acting, so I had said that as I was going on my way out to go see Arrell.

And as I was walking out the door, Wolf just said to me, with a bit of a smile on his face, “I GO A STEP FURTHER, I USE HOT GREASE! TRUST ME, DON’T KNOCK IT TILYOU TRY IT!”

LATER AT ARRELL’S PLACE…

So after I had left, I went straight to Arrell’s place that was near on the outskirts of Stalia and kind of near the Everfree. After the whole competition thing, everyone in town just kind of went back to their daily lives, as some were talking about and whispering, wondering when one of us would bring back evidence of one of us taking down an User Major. I could hear it as I was walking by everyone, trying to get to Arrell’s home. And the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized I didn’t even have anything in my satchel to save my life, not even against an User Major.

I mean I had a gun in there, a hand gun that was barely used… but it was always in there and I’m just amazed it never went off, and somehow still to this day it has never went off. I don’t even think the safety is on… weird.

Anyways, eventually after walking by places of business that were opened and were ran by the townsfolk of Stalia, trying to live out their dreams unlike in some countries where they burned down by monkeys and are forced to close by their government because they said so or else, you know… countries like Brazil. Those gangs of monkeys, I tell ya, they always try to burn small businesses down as they simp for the big corporations instead.

That’s why you never step foot in Brazil. Anyways, I made it to Arrell’s home that was on a sort of hill a little bit, bit of an incline I should say. And as I went up to his place, his home was like Fluttershy’s but in different ways, and there was a weird shed in the back or something. Anyways, I walked up to his place, knocked on the front door and thankfully he was there. Well he let me in; I talked with him as I was sitting in his living area as his crimes against nature creatures were minding their own business in the home as Arrell was listening to my issue.

And after I had said my piece to him, he then said, “Nope, I can’t help you.”

He had said with his eyes closed and a disapproving look on his face. I then asked Arrell, “Oh come on Arrell, you do all of this fucking weird shit here. How come you can’t just come and help me find an User Major?”

Arrell then said, with his disapproving look at me, almost like Fluttershy’s Stare but kind of a rip off, “Unlike the rest of you guys, I have standards.”

I then asked, with a bit of frustration, “Standards? WHAT STANFARDS, YOU FUCKING FORCE BREED ANIMALS AND MAKE WEIRD ABOMINATIONS… AND NO ONE QUESTIONS ABOUT THAT…”

Arrell then said, somewhat quickly, “Well I have different standards compared to most, but still, I have a code to abide by. Ever since my uhhh… troubles… in my past… I have promised to stick by a code of conduct and that I will not go out there blindly recklessly and mess with any creature of any kind’s life without a good reason. And I don’t feel like you have a good reason.”

I then said to Arrell “Oh no, I get it Arrell, you’re just trying to be Mr. Goody Goody so you don’t look bad.”

Arrell then said to me, with an annoyed and angered look on his face, “I am not!”

He then went to a sad / nervous look on his face, “I’m just trying to be good is all.”

I then said to Arrell, “Good my ass, you’re just as bad as the rest of us, with me being the least bad. At least I try to be the voice of reason.”

Arrell then looked a little disappointed by my comment as he then said, “Really? I thought I was the voice of reason within our group?”

I then said to Arrell, “Sure, maybe when I wasn’t here, but now that I’m here you’ve gone down the ranks boy. Now are you are going to help me or not?”

Arrell then shook his head a little bit and went back to his scowl a bit as he then said to me, “Sorry Knight, but the answer is still no. You’re on your own.”

I then said as I was getting off the couch and about to head out as I gave a slight sigh and a mellowed out look on my face, “Fine, I guess I’ll just go to Fluttershy. Guess I shouldn’t have expected much from a Scuffed Fluttershy to try and help me out.”

And with that comment, Arrell’s eyes lit up and then stopped me by standing in front of my exit as he then looked a little pissed off.

He then proceeded to say to me, “A Scuffed Fluttershy? A Scuffed Fluttershy!? SCUFFED FLUTTERSHY!? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING KNIGHT, I AM NO WHERE NEAR THAT BOTTOM OF THE BARRELL YELLOW BITCH! I MAY HAVE STANDARDS, BUT I ALSO KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I AM NO SUCFFED FLUTTERSHY! I AM ABOVE HER AND AM BETTER THAN HER IN EVERY WAY!”

I slightly said under my breath, “Sounds familiar from another certain pony…”

However Arrell had heard that as he then said to me, “I HEARD THAT! AND I AM NOT LIKE THAT HARRY FUCK EITHER! I’m just trying to say that I AM THE ANIMAL PONY AROUND HERE, NOT HER! YOU HEAR ME! YOU COME TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE ANIMAL ISSUES, NOT THAT TWO TIMING YELLOW BITCH! AND I’LL PROVE IT TO YA! Come on Knight, we’re going to kill an User Major.”

He had said with such a pissed off tone, yet I wasn’t bothered by that as I had a smile on my face since it seemed like we were getting somewhere with this. And with that being said, we headed out to the Everfree Forest.

SOMEWHERE DEEP WITHIN THE EVEFRE FOREST…

So as we headed out, Celestia’ sun was going down. Yeah, it was that late in the day. What a day you know, went through a whole lot too. I smoked weed with Wolf, got to see a show, then had a Douchebag named Douchebag challenge me, did some training, did some metal training and met some hippy dippy looking mother fucker named Johnny, did some neat magic tricks, and then got yelled at by Arrell which was kind of intense to say the least. I mean he could really yell, almost as if it was his Fluttershy’s Stare.

Anyways, me, Arrell, and even his pet bunny Asshat tagged alone, went out into the woods. Although he didn’t bring anything with him other than some rope that was over his back. And he looked to have been still pissed off as I was following right behind him. Anyways, by the time we were deep within the forest, it was already dark outside and Luna’s Moon was about to be put up it had seemed. But even so, we kept going, yet none of us said a word to each other.

And possibly for the best since Arrell didn’t seem to be in the mood for joking around. Anyways, eventually Arrell took me to a big cave with a big mouth and eventually Arrell stopped within his tracks.

And as he stopped, I stopped as well as I then said to him, “So what are we doing here?”

Arrell then said, “First off, keep it down; we got to make sure it doesn’t know. Second, this is where User Majors typically live in.”

I then looked at the cave’s entrance and went “Oooooohhhh”

as my eyes sparkled a bit as I had just learned new information. The More you know… the more you die on the inside.

Anyways, I then asked, not too loud of course, “So, what are we going to do then?”

Arrell didn’t respond to me however. Instead he made a distinctive clicking sound with his mouth, in which case Asshat then proceeded to get off of Arrell’s back with the rope in its tiny paws somehow. And then from there, it went ahead and climbed one of the nearby trees and sort of high up to one of the branches. And from there, it set up one of the those rope traps where you step on it, the rope closes tightly on your legs and then you just kind of hanging there upside down or whatever.

Asshat did all of that, which is weird cause you’d think it was just there for show. But it appeared that Arrell had taught it some tricks. And as Asshat was doing that and my eyes were seeing what the bunny could do, Arrell was just standing there with a smirk. And after Asshat was finished, he fell down and landed perfectly on to Arrell’s back, unharmed and with no emotion.

Arrell then said as he was giving me a little side glance, “So, how’s that for a Scuffed Fluttershy for ya then… huh?”

I then looked back at the work that Asshat did and back to Arrell while noticing that the circle rope part was between me and Arrell.

I then said to him, “Well I’d say you’re still a scuffed Fluttershy, but uhh… less Scuffed then I thought you were.”

Arrell wasn’t happy with that statement as he gave me a bit of a sour look and responded to me with, “Well THIS SCUFFED FLUTTERSHY has made an easy trap for an User Major.”

I then said, “How is a small rope trap going to help kill an User Major?”

Arrell then said to me, with his scowl still at me, “It’s simple; one of the many prey of the User Major will come across here and get trapped by the rope. And from there it will make a distress scream like most animals, and that will prompt the User Major to come out of its cave and to check it out. And while it’s distracted, we’ll come up behind it while it’s not looking in our direction, and we’ll go from there. We just need to get some really big logs and some wooden spears.”

I then asked Arrell in all seriousness, “I don’t Arrell. I don’t believe you and that you’re just making this all up. That sounds like what a Scuffed Fluttershy would do.”

However Arrell then just said to me, “Oh I’ll show you what a Scuffed Fluttershy can do and…”

He was coming towards me, in a bit of a rage you could say, like he was coming for me, as he was saying that, but he was cut off by his own trap as his left back leg got roped up in the trap and was then sling upwards, along with Asshat who had seemed to be clinging on to Arrell’s back when it happened. And so Arrell and Asshat was hanging upside from the tree branch from the trap they had just made for the User Major. And as for me, I just simply looked up towards them as they were slightly swinging from side to side.

And after a few seconds of Arrell realizing that he had done goofed, Arrell pleaded with me, “Uhh… Knight… can you please cut me down… know what, forget that! That’s what Fluttershy would say! I’ll get myself down just… give a moment to figure it out!”

And then Arrell proceeded to struggle with freeing himself and put all of his energy into that. Meanwhile, I happened to look back into the big mouth of the cave and noticed that a mysterious glow was emitting from it.

And that grabbed my curiosity so I then, somewhat mindlessly, went towards that glow, as it sort of reminded me of the ball of light if you know what I mean, and headed towards the mouth of the cave, curious as to what it could be.

And as I had walked away and far from Arrell, Arrell said to himself somewhat quietly, “Knight? Knight? Are you still there? Aw shit…”

IN THE CAVE…

So I went ahead and went into the cave as I was allured by the mysterious glow of light. At first at the entrance to the cave, it was a faint glow with some faint sounds and fuzzing that could be heard from a distance. And as I entered the cave, the mouth of it was really big, pretty much indicating that an User Major could live in it.

Although it wasn’t like a mountain or anything, just a really big cave out in the middle of Everfree Forest is all. Anyways, I entered, completely ignoring Arrell, somewhat intentional, but somewhat not, and let my curiosity guide me. And the further I walked deep into the cave, the brighter the light became and the louder the fuzzing sound became. In fact, that fuzzing sound started to sound a little like static.

However where I was walking was still somewhat overwhelmingly dark and damp as you could hear one of the rocks that looks like an icicle but made out of rock have some water drip from its very tip and into a small puddle of water. Eventually I came to a slight right turn which I then took. And as soon as I took that right turn, there the source of the faint light was revealed to me as well as the fuzzing sound. It was an User Major watching TV.

How should I explain this? So when I turned the slight corner, I saw an User Major sitting in an upright position in a worn down green recliner chair, holding a can of Bear Beer. And right next to him was a small coffee side table that had a broken lamp, a picture of what appeared to have been his kid, and a pill bottle.

And in front of the User Major was a very dirty green rug and a TV that looked like it was from the 1970’s, struggling to make a clear picture on screen with a lot of fuzz and static emitting from it. Also to add, everything was obviously bigger than me, so it almost felt like working into a giant’s room of some sort. And the User Major that was sitting in the broken recliner was more or less depressed.

And when I saw that, I was lost for words and didn’t know what to make out of it. So I just got closer to the User Major, somewhat trying to be careful and being aware that it could still kill me in the end, but a part of me felt like this wasn’t the normal thing for an User Major to do. So as soon as I got close enough, as in about a few feet from the User Major, the thing took notice of me and looked towards me, yet was not disturbed or angry.

Well, he looked a tad bit angry, but rather annoyed really as soon as he saw me, he looked down towards me and said in a somewhat depressed and half drunken state, “I already told you Jihaboo Witnesses, I don’t want to hear about how some snake saw god and then told everycreature else about it and how everycreature was a fucking dumbass to believe it. I told you to not come back here!”

And then he took a sip of his bear beer, and yes it was a he, as it sounded very male and masculine along with a deep voice, something that you would hear in the Blues.

As for me, I just stood there, dumbfounded as to what I was seeing and had wide eyes, wondering what was going on.

However I needed to speak up before he got upset, so I then said to him in a quick nervous reaction, “Uh, I’m not part of a crack pot religion, I’m just a pony from near a little town called Stalia, you might have heard of it? And if not then I don’t blame ya.”

The User Major then calmed down and just went into a plain simple state of depression as he then said while trying to take a sip of his bear beer, “Oh, well then what the hell do you want from me then? Are you selling cookies or some shit? I could use some cookies… she loved cookies whenever I bought it for him...”

The User Major started to weep a little bit, yet no tears but it looked like he wanted to though.

However I just looked up towards him and said to him, “I thought you would have been taller.”

I had mentioned that to him as I thought User Majors judging from the show was much more bigger and taller, especially compared to an User Minor. But for some reason at the time, all that went through my head was that he was not as tall. In fact he was only tall enough to be a full grown adult compared to an User Minor, so in other words, the User Major from Friendship is Magic, but cut down by like half… or three quarters. It’s weird honestly how that even works.

But the User Major didn’t seem to mind my comment as he then just asked me, “What was that pony? I couldn’t hear you?”

Instead of repeating myself, I just went ahead and then asked the User Major, “Uhh, do you have a name?”

The User Major then said to me, still in a half drunken state, trying to get his buzz on, “My name is complicated cause you ponies wouldn’t get it. It’s Jupi, but it’s not like you ponies would ever understand.”

He then took another sip as I took another good luck at his pad. And from there, even I was starting to get depressed and more or less worried for Jupi. So I asked Jupi as he was staring at a static filed TV, although you could just barely make out a picture out on the screen and it looked like a sort of weird version of football being played on screen, but with bears.

And I just looked back towards Jupi and asked, curiously, “What is all this stuff?”

I mean I knew what it was, I was just wondering what the fuck it was doing in a place like Equestria, let alone in a cave where an User Major lives in.

But thankfully Jupi didn’t get upset and throw a fit as he then calmly explained to me, although depressingly, “This is some stuff that the president guy from Future City from miles from here sent me. Said I was part of some sort of poor animal welfare program and that I was given an opportunity to test out their latest products for the future that’ll be given to you ponies. I’m not sure what this stuff is, this fucking drink or this glowy box thing, but it’s entertaining. I see myself in it sometimes and I just wonder what I’ve become you know? I just wonder what life would be like if my WHORE OF A FUCKING WIFE DIDN’T FUCKING CHEAT ON ME WITH THAT STUPID SON OF A BITCH DIPPER AND TOOK THE KID!”

He had gotten mighty angry and even got up a little from his seat as his face was filled with rage. However he then quickly restrained himself as he slowly sat back into his recliner and tried to take a deep breath.

He then looked towards me with an apologetic face as he said to me, “Excuse me for that. I have anger issues and was issued by the Everfree Court to attend anger management. I was given pills to take that would help calm me down and help me sleep at night, you know?”

I then looked at him funny and said to him, “No… I don’t know what that’s like. What happened that put you in this position to begin with?”

Jupi then explained to me, “It’s my wife… or my ex-wife that is. Her name was Calli and we were happily married for seventy years. She was the love of my life and I was her as she was mine. We were happy and eventually had a son named Arcasa. But then one day I came home from work and found her sleeping with our neighbor Dipper. And then instead of talking it out, like the fucking whore she was, she said that we needed to split because she was much happier with dipper!”

The more he talked, the louder he got. Jupi continued to go on, “I tired explaining to how that we could talk this out, that we could go to therapy and try to fix our marriage, but nooooooo! SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T WANT TO AND WANTED TO BE RESONABLE, YET HERE I WAS, TRYING TO BE THE RESONABLE ONE AND TRY TO FIX OUR BROKEN MARRIAGE, AFTER BEING FUCKING TOGETHER FOR SO LONG! YET ALL SHE DID WAS GET A DIVORCE LAWYER, TOOK ME TO COURT, TOOK MY FUCKING HOUSE, AND MOST OF ALL, THAT BITCH TOOK MY FUCKING KID!”

Jupi was all flustered and filled with rage as his yelling turned into roars. He soon stood up, almost as if he was ready to throw down with someone, but after he had said that, he tried to calm down as his breathing became heavy. So he looked to the little side table, took the pill bottle, opened up his other paw, and try to pour some pills out.

However, nothing came out and was confused, so he tried to shake the pill bottle, but nothing came out. From there he looked inside the pill bottle to see what was left, and yet there was nothing and it was completely empty. From there, he let the empty pill bottle hit the floor without a care, and his eyes turned red with anger as you could some of the veins popping out a little bit. And then he walked a little bit towards my direction, ignoring me as I didn’t say a single word and was instead watching all of this unfold.

And from there he could see the town of Stalia from a far enough distance just slightly, and he looked towards the town with anger as he then said in a low tone, “She took the kid.” And then he said with more emotion, “She took the kid. She took the fucking ! SHE TOOK MY FUCKING KID!”

And then he ran off and quickly as he could out of the cave and towards Stalia to let his anger out and to somehow hopelessly get his kid back as he carelessly passed Arrell while he was +on his way out of the forest. And all I could do was stand there, wondering what was going to happen next.

I just stood there and said to myself, “Well… isn’t the first time I fucked things up.”

And then a bright flashing light suddenly appeared before me that was kind of blinding to me as I had to cover my eyes with my left forearm along with a weird siren.

BACK IN STALIA…

And so back to Stalia. Right before Jupi made his way to town, Luna’s moon was fully outside and raised, nice and bright with the stars twinkling and dancing around the moon… possibly for a sacrificial ritual involving killing a star kid to appease the chaos gods and Star Satan. Those damn stars, always plotting their satanic rituals and trying to ruin everyone else’s day, cause you know the government that is either royal or elected is not the one in control, right?

It’s the stars that are in control, and the stars are Satanists as they go ooga booga every night. Anyways, the night was calm, most of all the ponies were asleep in their beds, getting rested for the coming day, and who knows what might come, anything could come. Who knows, maybe one day you wake up to find that Civil War is happening right outside your home, or perhaps a zombie outbreak has started, or maybe Jesus comes down and tells you it’s the end times, you never truly know what you might hear and see the next day, it’s always a mystery.

But still, the town was getting rested for who knew what might have come at that time. And most importantly of all, Douchebag was sleeping as well. Since he wasn’t from around these here parts, he brought his movable house with him… a really big, but sturdy, cardboard box. Although on the outside it looked a little fucked up and torn as well as it looked like it was rained on. And as for where this big cardboard box was, it was just plopped right in the middle of Stalia, and no taxes were paid on it either since it moved.

But to also note, the cardboard box wasn’t only just big, it was big enough for him to fully stand in and have some head room. Douchebag even had a little bed made out of blankets and other thrown out goodies as well as some half eaten food that he may or may not have gotten out from the garbage. And to top it all off, instead of those flaps to where you would usually close the box, the flaps weren’t there, and instead the big gaping hole was covered with a half broken door that was also probably from the garbage.

It was all garbage including him. We call it Pony Garbage. Anyways, Douchebag was sleeping soundly in his little bed until a certain someone’s right hoof came knocking on Douchebag’s half broken door. And after the knock came, Douchebag, while being all groggy and shit, got up from his deep slumber and walked right on over to the door and just pushed the door to the side, annoyed of course since he was cranky from being awoken from his sleep.

And once he opened up, he saw who it was that disturbed him: It was Mac.

And Mac was standing there with a big grin on his face, although Douchebag was not amused at all whatsoever, to where he then asked Mac, “What the fuck do you want? Dog, Tail, I thought I told you two to make sure no one disturbs me!?”

Oh yeah and uhh…. Dog and Tail was there as well. They were a bit further away from Douchebag as Mac was the closet to him of course.

And for Dog and Tail, they both looked ashamed and sorry as Dog tried to explain to him, “We tried to stop him, but he kept pushing us and then threatened us that he’ll shove apples in our little butt holes until we’re forty if he didn’t see you. That and he threw an empty beer bottle at Tail’s head.”

Tail then made a little barking sound in response. So as Douchebag was confronted by Mac and was awoken, he had no other choice but to talk to Mac, despite the sudden urge to just say fuck it all and go back to bed.

So Douchebag then said to Mac after giving a low groaning sigh, “What do you want?”

Mac then continued to have a grin on his face as he held his left hoof far as close to his back as he could and away from Douchebag who was really not in the mood at that moment.

From there, Mac proclaimed, “Ha, you think you’ve got me beat huh!?”, as he pointed towards Douchebag with his right hoof for a second.

However Douchebag was annoyed by him so he then said to Mac, “What the fuck are you even talking about!?”

Mac then continued to say to him, “Remember, from earlier today you somehow knew how many hooves that I was holding up. But I know! I KNOW THE TRUTH! I was set up, it was a set up made by YOU AND APPLEJACK TO MAKE ME A FOOL! But the world will know, THE WORLD WILL KNOW THE TRUTH! THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN KAHOOTS WITH PURE AND UTTER EVIL AND THAT YOU AND APPLEJACK AND ALL HER OTHER EVERFREE FOREST SWAMP FILLED FRIEND SHADOW GROUP, although I’m still trying to prove that in court, case is still pending by the way , AND THAT YOU PLANNED TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID As A FRAUD AND TRY TO TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA!”

Douchebag was hearing all of this, but he was not amused and was starting to look pissed as Mac continued to go on his little rant.

So Douchebag sort of interrupted him and said to him, “Will you just get on with it already! Just tell me why you’re here or leave me alone!”

Mac then cleared his throat, continued to hold his left hoof to his back, and then said with a grin, “How many hooves am I holding up behind my back?”

Douchebag then made a groaning sound and then said in an annoyed tone, “I don’t know, one I guess?”

And then Mac said with a sudden surprise with his as he pulled his left hoof forward, “WRONG! IM HOLDING TWO HOOVES BEHIND MY BACK, TWO IN MY ASSHOLE, AND TWO IN A PARAELL UNIVERSE! I’M FIVE PARAELL UNIVERSES AHEAD OF YOU HARRY!”

As Mac pulled his left hoof forward, he revealed that he had a crudely drawn picture of a hoof on a piece of paper that he did himself and just taped it onto his left hoof. And as for the two in his asshole… well I’m sure that’s explanatory and that I don’t need to go into detail about that.

And as for Douchebag, he didn’t say a word, he just gave a look of disgust and the “This is retarded” look on his face. Mac continued to gloat to Douchebag, “HA HA HA! I BEAT YOU HARRY! YOU AND YOUR APPLEJACK’S LITTLE PLAN WON’T WORK NOW! AND I’LL DRAIN THE REST OF THE EVER FREE SWAMP TO EXPOSE YOU ALL! AND YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I WON!?”

Douchebag didn’t say a word; he just gave the same look as from before.

Mac continued to then explain and assumed it was a yes cause it was silence, “WELL I’LL TELL YA. YOU DIDN’T SAY THAT THE HOOF HAD TO BE A REAL ONE, JUST A HOOF! But then I wondered, maybe that’s what they’re counting on for me to do. SO I THOUGHT THREE AND A QUARTER STEPS AHEAD AND SHOVED TWO DOWN MY ASSHOLE WHILE TAKING A SHIT AND FORCED A SCIENTIST TO BUILD A MACHINE TO MEET A PARRELL UNIVERSE VERSION OF ME AND TOLD THE SCIENTIST TO TELL HIM TO HOLD UP TWO HOOVES WHILE I’M DOING THIS, AND DOING SOME KIND OF FANCY CALCULATIONS SOME HOW MAKES THIS SOME HOW POSSIBLE… I think… I don’t know, I didn’t see the scientist do it; I just threatened to kill his entire family, extended family, his family of goldfish, his friend’s family, and his friend’s cousins former roommate’s family and just left him to it. BUT I AM SURE HE ALREADY DID IT… or he and everypony that I just mentioned is so fucking dead they won’t be able to count to ten.”

Mac then had wide eyes as he put his head forward a bit as he said that last part. And then there was silence for a few seconds.

After that, Mac went back to his grin and then asked Douchebag all cool like, “So… you’re ready to talk and give me all of Applejack’s information?”

However Douchebag just kept the same face on and said in a groggy tone, “I’m going back to bed now. And when I wake up, you better not still be here.”

Not until however Jupi showed up, as that was when he finally appeared and started causing a ruckus throughout the entire town.

He came in roaring, stomping real loud, and trying to cause as much destruction as possible as he yelled out loud, “SHE TOOK MY KID! I WANT MY SON BACK! THAT FUCKING WHORE BITCH TOOK MY KID AND RAN! I WANT MY FUCKING SON BACK RIGHT NOW!”

And he repeated himself over and over as the red veins reign supreme throughout his eyes. And of course this awoke everyone that was asleep and made everyone running out screaming and yelling in panic as no one was sure what to do in this situation, cause it was a big bear that was really pissed off about his ex wife, who isn’t these days, am I right? Unless the sex with the ex happens, then it’s alright, but it does go into a weird relationship then.

Anyways, this happened and this prompted Douchebag to get out of his cardboard box and to see what was happening as all had wide eyes and was a little scared as to what was happening before them. All the while, everyone was running amuck and panicking in terror, thinking it was the end for them as Jupi was destroying buildings, stomping the ground real hard almost making it feel like a mini earthquake was occurring, and just overall making it a very shitty night for Stalia.

But as Douchebag was watching this unfold, Dog and Tail however were having a little smile on their faces as they looked up to Douchebag.

However Douchebag was too busy looking in terror as to what was happening so Dog then asked Douchebag, “So, what are you waiting for?”

Douchebag, with a very worried look, quickly snapped to Dog and Tails and asked them, “Waiting for what?”

Dog then said, “Well you said earlier that the tie breaker was to kill an User Major. Well here’s your chance to prove how magnificent you really are and to get the one up on Knight! So go ahead and show that bear what you’re made of!”

Douchebag was however scarred instead of brave and eager to show off his talents as he then said to Dog, “Are you fucking kidding me, that thing is going to kill us all!”

He was pointing towards Jupi when he had said that as well as having big eyes that were filled with fear.

Dog and Tail of course looked disappointed and Dog then asked Douchebag, “But I thought you said you could do anything and be the best at everything? I thought that’s why you chose the challenge to kill an User Major because you knew you could do it?”

Douchebag, a bit more calmed down, but rather having a bit of an embarrassing look on his face then said to Dog, “Well not really. I had thought that Knight wouldn’t be crazy enough to go out and find an User Major or that he would go out and get himself killed and that I would automatically would win by forfeit.”

And then Jupi kind of got near them as he stepped a bit too close to them, which then prompted Douchebag to say with wide, fearful eyes, “FUCK THIS SHIT, I’M OUT!”

And then Douchebag tried to run away and get far from Jupi, or at least as far as he could, but he didn’t get too far and just hid behind a nearby building until the whole thing could be sorted hope hopefully. As for Dog and Tails, they ran too, but not Mac.

Mac instead just saw Douchebag run away as he then said to him, yelling more or less as he was running away, “YOU CAN’T HIDE FOREVER! I’LL FIND THE SWAMP AND I’LL DRAIN IT AND JUSTICE WIL BE SERVED. THE WORLD WILL KNOW THE TURTH ABOUT APPLEJACK AND HER SHADOW GOVERNEMNT AND YOU WON’T STOP ME!”

Of course, Mac was too concerned to being in his own little world to even care about the bear. And so Jupi rampaged through the town, stomping and smashing, with everyone else thinking as to what they were going to do. And then hope finally came in the form of familiar police sirens from a distance. Bright flashing lights appeared from what seemed like out of nowhere as it strobed against the entire town.

And of course this made Jupi stop in his tracks as somewhat big, but not too big, ghostly entities showed up, who also had claws for hands and a ghostly like tail at end of their bodies, showed up. There was two of them that was near Jupi when this happened and they both had police badges and caps on that read “EFPD” as they both talked in a sort of half Irish, half stereotypical cop sound.

One of the ghostly figures held up a taser to Jupi, and for reference they were like half the size of Jupi, and said to him, “THIS IS THE EVEFREE POLICE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP, YOU’RE SURROUNDED!”

Meanwhile I was back in Stalia, walking alongside another ghostly entity cop that was floating right beside me as we were walking and talking. And keep in mind, Neon, Jack, and Forrest was there in the middle town of course as they too heard all of the ruckus, and we all sort of just headed up where Mac was in a sense. I know it’s weird and sudden but that’s how it all went down.

Anyways, I was talking to the ghost cop, “So there’s a whole police force for the Everfree Forest?”

I had said this while walking and talking with the ghost cop as I was sort of looking up at him while doing so.

The ghost cop responded to me with, “Well it’s not the entire forest. You see on your side of the Everfree, we live in a civilized society. Ponyville’s half, we just call that the other side of the tracks, only filled with a bunch of animals on that side. But yup, we try to keep the peace, even on your guy’s side if we have to, but only if it’s within our jurisdiction, which it is this time I’m afraid.”

I then responded to him with, “Huh, never thought of that.”

And then I saw the other guys who were surprised to see these ghostly figures to begin with as they just stared at the both of us as I then said to him, “Oh hi guys, what’s up?”

To briefly explain what happened back at the caves, as soon as Jupi left, the Everfree Cops showed up. But thankfully I explained to them what happened and I led them back to town. And now here we are.

So back to what was happening with Jupi, Jupi of course was not having any of it as he then yelled back at the two ghost cops, “FUCK YOU, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I PAID MY FUCKING WHORE OF A WIFE THAT TOOK MY KID EVERYTHING THAT I OWED HER!”

The one ghost cop that was holding up the taser then said to him, “That ain’t it chief.”

He then proceeded to pull out a piece of paper and looked at it with one of his claw hands.

He then said, “It reads here that you haven’t been reporting to your probation officer since last week. So we have a warrant for your arrest.”

Jupi then said to them, “FUCK YOU PIGS, YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!”

And then Jupi tried to run away, but then the ghost cop with the taser pulled the trigger and hit him real hard as Jupi just spazed out for a bit and then hit the ground hard, only just barely missing a building filled with other ponies living in it. He also had his tongue sticking out afterwards.

And so after that was all said and done, the ghost cop that I was talking to then said to me, “Well it looks like our job here is done. Sorry to mess with your folk’s night.”

And Neon then walked up near him and started poking at his ghostly body, the bottom portion of course. And all the ghost cop did was give him the stink eye as Neon said, “Squishy just like the dead people that I put in the creek the other day.”

And after that, you’d think it would be done, but it wasn’t as Douchebag happened to be nearby and he appeared to be very nervous when the ghost cops arrived.

So douchebag took a big gulp, put on a big nervous smile and said to all of us, “Well would you look at the time, it seems like I have already spent a lot of time in Stalia. I’ve got other shows to perform at so I guess I’ll just be on my way. I guess you’re the winner here Knight, you’re magnificent and I am not, well, got to go!”

He quickly waved his right hoof on in the air as he had said that last bit and was about to run off, but right before he even could get a feet in, the ghost cop with the taser then stopped him while holding up another piece of paper and going towards him, “Not so fast there buddy. We’ve been looking for ya.”

Douchebag’s nervous smile quickly turned into a scared and worried look as he started to sweat a bit as he was looking at the ghost cop.

The ghost cop with the taser continued to say to him, “It says here you are wanted for charges of fraud. Witnesses say you were conning them back in the Everfree, clamming you were magnificent. But the testimony that they all gave us said that it was all a hoax and that the spells you cast were only of illusions, so you’re being brought up on charges of false advertisement. We also pulled your records and your name isn’t Harry, It says here it’s Big Douchebag.”

The other ghost cop then got near Douchebag to be ready to cuff him, but before he did, Douchebag then said, “Well, that was just my birth name. I was going to change it in the Everfree Court later...”

He had a little nervous smile on his face, but that soon changed as it changed back into a sort of pissed off but also scared look as the ghost cop with the taser then said to him, “It also says here that you’re being also charged with voter fraud, an Everfree Federal Offense. Apparently you tampered with the recent Everfree election and that you tampered with the ballots, fudging the numbers for one candidate over the other”

Douchebag was quickly to explain to them, “YOU CAN’T PROVE THAT IN COURT! T- THERE WAS NO EVIDENCE OF FRAUD!”

Then the ghost cop with the taser then said to Douchebag, “Eyup, that’s what all the crazies say. Book em’ Dan.”

Dan the ghost cop then put some iron made cuffs on Douchebag’s front hooves so he couldn’t run away so easily. And he looked entirely pissed, especially towards me.

As the cop with the taser was picking up Jupi and the ghost cop that was pushing Douchebag to move it along towards the Everfree Forest, he was giving me the stink eye for sure this time as he was mighty pissed at me.

He said as he was being hulled off to Everfree Prison, “YOU DID THIS DIDN’T YOU KNIGHT!? YOU LEAD THE COPS RIGHT HERE TO ARREST ME! YOU DID THIS AND YOU KNEW IT TOO DIDN’T YOU KNIGHT!? I SWEAR I’LL GET OUT OF PRISON KNIGHT! AND ONCE I DO, I’LL BE COMING FOR YOU! I WON’T FORGET THIS!”

Dan the ghost cop just said to Douchebag as he was pushing him along, “Yeah yeah, save it for the judge their buddy. Where you’re going, you’re not going to be out for a long time. You’ll have a lot of thinking to do. But don’t worry; maybe your little bear friend over there is going to be your new roommate.”

And then as the two ghost cops were hulling off the two crooks over to the Everfree to be put in front f the judge to stand trial, the other ghost cop that I was talking to said to me as he tipped his police cap, “Well sorry to bother you fine folks. We would have gotten here a lot sooner but we were stopped cause we saw a zebra.”

Forrest then asked him kindly with a little smile, “Oh, so a zebra lost their way into the forest so you had to try and show them the way out? How kind of you guys!”

The ghost cop then said, “What? Of course not, we just beat it to a bloody pulp like we always do. Well good night!”

Forrest’s smile quickly disappeared. The ghost cop had said that with a big smile and left to go back into the woods.

And so that was pretty much the end of everything, although the entire town of Stalia was still left with the destruction. And before I could call it a night, Wolf happened to come out and asked with a little dirty smile on his face, “Woah, what happened here, did Forest get laid or something?”

Jack then spoke up and said, “Nope, Forrest will always be a virgin and will always be beaten for that.”

Forrest then asked Jack, “Really?”

Jack then said to him, “Well that and more.”

And then Forrest made a little whimpering sound to go along with it as well. However I just stood there and said to Wolf, “What Jack meant to say was that it turned out Douchebag’s real name was douchebag, meddled in some election in the Everfree that you may or may not have known about. And the User Major just turned out to be some lonely bastard who lost his kid and tried to kill everyone as a way of coping cause he didn’t get his medication or some shit, I don’t know.”

Wolf then had a little smile on and he then said, “Wow, so I guess that makes you’re the magnificent one.”

I then said to Wolf in a cynical way, “I don’t want that title… ever…”

Wolf then said to him, “Well then, you’re going to take a letter to Celestia or what?”

I wasn’t planning on to, but I decided after everything, fuck it, why not? So I then said to Wolf in a painful voice, “Sure….”

Wolf then said to me, “Hold on, give me a sec…”

Wolf turned his head upward as usual and then gagged a bit and then up chucked some writing paper and a quill. I then grabbed both with my magic and started to write my letter to Celestia.

Dear Celestia,

Today I learned that you shouldn’t be a douchebag. A giant, big douchebag at that or else you’ll end up being some bastard that gloats at everyone at being better than them as well as being right. However self righteousness does not equate to good character, let alone a good friendship. All it leads to is an inflated ego that ends up getting you into trouble with the Everfree Police for being a fraud as well as somehow committing fraud in an election as well. I’m not sure how the election fraud fits into here, all I know is that I found out about an election in the Everfree Free and that it was tampered with by no other than a pony named Harry, who turned out to be a Douchebag. And that is why you shouldn’t be a Douchebag as you’ll just end up having the name Douchebag and potentially being raped in prison by a giant bear. Oh and uhh, don’t be a douchebag because no friends want a Douchebag in their group.

Sincerely,

Knight

P.S. Send me more bits because Wolf keeps fucking wasting it all. I’ll promise to never pay you back.

And that was the letter that I wrote. I then silently gave it to Wolf, he took it, breathed the little green fire and sent it to Celestia, and yes, that’s all the fire does, send shit to her. And after a few seconds of silence between the two of us as the crickets were chirping in the background and the other guys were just staring at the two of us.

Wolf then asked me, “So you think the Universe will have Celestia see that or…”

I then said to him, “The Universe is going to let Celestia see what it wants Celestia to see. Doesn’t hurt to try though, even though you know you die on the inside because of it. Sometimes it’s just better to embrace the struggle instead of resisting it Wolf, you’ll go out better that way when the day that sweet, sweet death comes for you.”

And then we stood there in silence for a few more seconds. And then out of nowhere those three ponies from the 80’s came from out of nowhere, with the other guys not really reacting much to it, although Forrest did have wide eyes so it wasn’t just me who saw them. Anyways, the three ponies that looked like they were from the 80’s showed up. They all surrounded me.

The one that looked less hot and was near me from before said to me, “I knew you could do it Knight.”

Then the stallion one said to me, “Yeah way to go bud!”

And then the hot looking one that was near Douchebag from earlier then said to me as she was trying to come on to me, “I don’t care about HIM anymore. I want to date you instead.”

I was not amused and instead had a very cynical look on my face as I just said to all of the guys, “I’m going to fucking bed now.”

And with that being said, I walked off, and there was only a few seconds. But not before Mac was doing something in the background when I wasn’t looking as he had made another hoof to tape to the other one that he had on his left hoof.

He then yelled out in eagerness as he raised his left arm as the others looked over, with a weirded out look on their face, “Look at me now guys, I’m holding up three hooves now and five hooves in my asshole! Woo Hoo!”

And that was the end of that little bit Yup, that was it, and I fucking knew it would. Wolf and I even betted on it, which means I fucking win, and he would owe me 20 bits.

Seriously, earlier while we were high, we betted on how the day would end, and I was right. I mean I wish I wasn’t sometimes, but I was right… although he never gave me those 20 bits… but he would though if he could be trusted with money. Well, that was it, until next time… The End…

………………

Oh and before I forget, I should mention what happened with Arrell. You see while this was all going on back in town, Arrell was still stuck up in the tree, hanging upside down. And he was starting to lose it after being upside down for a bit.

It was in the middle of the night and Arrell was just swaying a bit side to side like, and he said he as he was trying to stay up and not die to being upside down for so long, “Uhhh… Knight!? Neon!? Forrest!? Jack!? Mac? Anypony there? Anypony out there! Ohhh… I’m starting to feel a little woozie. Quick… Asshat, try to let go and find some help for me… please…”

And Asshat, who was still clinging on and was hanging upside down with Arrell this entire time, fell off and hit the ground flat on his face like a dead weight. Granted he was still alive and breathing, but was just knocked out unconscious.

And so that made Arrell say, “Fuck.”

And that was that. I mean eventually he got down of course, but who cares.

Chapter11: A Dragons Revenge

So, I’m about to talk about episode seven, which was Dragonshy.

Yea, so this is what happened.

Arrell, was taking care of his animals. He was making sure they were fed, bathed, and made sure was in perfect health. He even made sure that they were breeding correctly.

He had almost lost all of his animals when Mac came to help. Yea, if you recall that incident where Mac breaded the wrong animals, I’m surprised, because I’m trying to forget what I had saw.

Let me tell you the results of those animals that were breaded wrong. The animals were hybrids. They were an abomination, and a law against nature.

We had put the hybrid animals down, because somehow, they were saying kill me. As in, they were experiencing pain. I don’t know how they even talked, but still. It took Arrell awhile to get fix the huge mistake that Mac did to his animals, so he had hunt for others.

In addition, when I mean hunt, I mean still other ponies animals. While he did that, he also put a ransom, but of course, he wasn’t going to give it back. I do have to admit, that was good idea, since he was taking the animals and all.

I also thought, “and he is supposed to be an element of whatever we are. Then again, I fucking smoke weed, while drinking beer at the same time. We put an unborn fetus in our neighbors mailbox, killed other ponies animals, stealing dead bodies, and making shit that’s against nature’s laws.”

So, anyway, he was feeding his bunny pet, I believe he named it Asshat.

Not kidding. Although, I do recall the bunny had two nicknames, which were H and demon. Since I find Asshat to be a funny name, I’m fucking writing this story, and you’re not, I’ll be calling him Asshat. However, if you don’t want to call him that and want to call him by nickname, then just pretend Asshat isn’t there and pretend H or Demon is there.

So, Arrell was making sure Asshat was safe, but Asshat tried to run away from him. Arrell tried to stop him, but Asshat pointed to the mountain that was from episode 7.

Then Arrell and Asshat knew what was going on. He saw smoke, and he could smell it, because for some odd reason, it came near him, but not the other ponies.

He smelt it and it smelt familiar to him. It was weed and crack smell when smoked. Apparently, before Arrell met the other guys, him and Asshat went on some random not so great adventures together. One of them is by stealing drugs from a dragon.

Not kidding you.

There existed a dragon that did crack, and weed. Ok, maybe I’m going a little over board there, because he wasn’t the only dragon that even did drugs. The other dragons did dragon shit. Which was eat, sleep, and shit. Besides, if you recall the crackle dragon, whom I believe that was on heroin, this dragon was its cousin. Moreover, no, it did not look like him, but had gold bling around its neck, with apparently a giant fucking backwards cap.

I don’t know where that fucking dragon got it from, but ok then.

so, Arrell and Asshat were afraid that the dragon will come back for revenge, but didn’t want to feel guilty of leaving us all behind, because of he did, our souls would haunt him for the rest of his life. Well, just me anyway.

Therefore, he went to the park, where most ponies were. Well, of course he couldn’t say a dragon that he pissed off years ago is coming back for revenge because he stole crack from him.

Therefore, he decided to say flying spaghetti monster, purple pony eaters, and flying aids and cancer was coming to attack the town. When I heard this, I thought how much of a fucking dumbass he is, because that is fucking impossible.

Although, if there was a flying spaghetti monster that was coming here, I will have to give those crazy fucking basturds that practice the flying spaghetti religion.

I’m not kidding you. There is such a religion.

If you don’t believe me, look it up. Trust me; I was even shocked when I heard about it.

So anyway, while Arrell was doing that, I was chilling at home, with me smoking weed while drinking beer, while wolf was passed out from drinking too many tequilas.

He drank about seven bottles full. Each bottle was a litter full to be exact.

What he was trying to do was beat my record, which was at eight tequila bottles, along with five vodka bottles, and three regular beers.

Yea, I’m a champion. Well, as I was saying, I was chilling, and Wolf woke up, and spitted out a letter from Celestia. I opened it up, and guess what it read.

Dear Knight,
I have gotten word that a dragon has appeared near you and Twilight’s hometown. I would send Twilight and her friends to fix the problem. They did a good job last time when this happened, however, the Elements of Harmony are busy now. I am writing this letter to ask you and your friends to take care of the problem. I would go too, however, I am a little caught up at the moment. I hope you understand. I have given you all the information that I have about dragons along with this letter.
From your teacher,
Princess Celestia

Well, what else can I fucking say? She’s being a Trollestia again. I mean being caught up at the moment.

“Right”.

Yea, I’ll believe you, when I see a fucking pony fucking a monkey out in the middle of the fucking streets, while cats and dogs are battling to the death, bunnies killing ponies and humping bees at the same time, and I somehow become an Alicorn, but with rainbows coming out of my ass when I ever fly. While at the same time, have birds humping frogs, while giant fucking ass robots comes to invade, while fighting pop tarts in the sky with bears on unicycles with ak-47’s and a RPG.
That’s when I’ll believe you, because that’s telling me that the world is ending.

As for the elements, I don’t know what to say about that one. I mean, Twilight could be doing something very important with her friends.

Yea. I’m actually being nice here for once, and being understandable.

Not that I’m saying I never was, but, since history is repeating itself for me, I might as well do whatever the fuck I want. Of course, I didn’t give two shits and a flaming fuck. I wasn’t going to tell anypony about this and if they did, then they would fucking died.

I didn’t give a fuck, especially since I was high and all. However, the universe was a step ahead of me, and I was then randomly teleported to the park, along with Wolf.

We were randomly teleported and I just feel like the universe is my enemy now.

Oh well, that’s what happens in life.

That or I can have the universe as my friend, by doing what it wants me to do. I mean, I am a Brony and I’m the only one who ever experienced that every Brony dreams of doing. Being in Equestria. That and meeting the elements of harmony and princess Celestia and Luna. Not only that, but relieving what Twilight and her friends experienced. Therefore, I should shut the fuck up, and enjoy this life I have. Besides, I really shouldn’t be mad at Celestia at all and should thank her for giving me this type of life. I mean, love and tolerance. What the fuck am I writing!?

Yea, fuck it. I’ll continue to be a jackass, resist the universe, continue to hate Celestia, although I never really do hate her, I just see her as a troll, but other than that. I really don’t hate her.

That and I’m going to continue to continue whatever the fuck I’m doing.

Although, I’m pretty sure at a point in time, this will all stop, and basically everything will fall, and I will have no hope left. Besides, everything must end one day. Even immortals have to die some time, right?

Well, as I was there in the park, I yelled out to every fucking pony that was there, that, “every fucking pony listen up! There’s a fucking dragon, and I’m informed by Trollestia, that me and my friends, who basically have problems that I’m worried about, have to take care of this problem. So yea, you ponies are all doomed and might have to move to another town.”
That was what I fucking said. Although, one pony did say he thought it was flying aids and cancer that was attacking.

Fucking idiot.

The thing is that Arrell said, no pony even heard him.

Now, as for the universe thing, well, nopony noticed that I fucking said Trollestia, nor did any one hear me say the word fuck, along with they are doomed and the problem with my friends. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me give you a hint.

Neon has a problem with wanting to burn everything. Mac has a sick mind and hates his cousin. Arrell does random shit that I will never understand. Forest fire is an idiot sometimes because sometimes he thinks he can do jackass related shit.
Although, other than that with forest, him and classy jack seems to be the ones with no mental problems at all.

At least that’s what I thought at the time.

Yea, I jinxed it.

There is something wrong with them. Then again, there’s something with me too. I have a drinking and smoking problem. Then again, I don’t give a fuck.

That and Wolf, I really don’t understand him. he’s sick, but yet, random, but at the same time, he’s cool and fun to hang out with. Then again, he is a Troll sometimes. Whatever.

Well, I told Wolf to gather all of my friends to my house, so we could discuss our plans to get the dragon off the fucking mountain. When Wolf did that, all of my friends were at my house.

Well, we then discussed what we had to do. We had to convince him to get off and take his sleep somewhere else.
Yea, I never had a plan for this. The thing is, I know very little about dragons in this universe. I mean, I came across dragons before in other universes before.

In fact, I came across them in three different universes. A universe that needed me, Factory dash, and Tk’s help.
Not a dragon problem, but another problem, which is a story for another time.

I know I have all these stories, but really, I just want to stick to one thing, and I’ll get to the others another time.

Therefore, there was also a dragon universe, and another universe that had a space dragon. If you don’t believe that, then think about this.

If you are aware about the muiltiuniverse theory, then you know what I’m talking about. It’s about how there’s an infinite amount of universes that is like the same universe, but is very different.

For example, take earth. Say you have a choice between fucking a chick or fucking a donkey. Well, let’s say you decide to fuck the donkey. Well, there’s another universe where you fucked the chick instead of the donkey. Also, the universe where you fucked the chick could be in a country where there is communism or nationalism, or everything is the same that you know of, but that’s the only difference.

There trillion upon trillions of universes like that.

Anyway, as I was saying about the dragon plan, we were all going to go up the mountain to get him to move.

Although, Arrell was afraid because he was afraid the dragon was going to remember him, and kill him.

Well, my friends left to get prepared. If you remember in the episode where the element s did that A –team shit. Well, we did that as well. I’m also surprised that we didn’t do anything B-team related.

So, Forest just put set something on fire, and put that little fire colors on his cheek. Classy jack pretty much looked classy or modern classy as I call it, but was prepared to fight. Mac, well, he just grabbed a bat, as an American would.

I really don’t know here, I mean, this is like what they have to prepare themselves with. I mean of course they have other shit, but this shit seems to be the only interesting thing they had with them.

Let’s see, Neon brought crazy shit by defying all laws of physics, along with fire. I brought along, well nothing expect for my wits and skills I acquired when TK trained me.

In addition, Arrell brought along Asshat, because they figured they had to face their demons, and they’re actually were right on that. In fact, with all the shit that happened to me in the past, I will too have to face those demons.

Yea, even though I’m writing this way in the eh future from the time period my life is taking place, I still haven’t faced my demons yet. I mean, we all have to at one point in our lives, right.

Well, we all then headed for the mountain, and started climbing.

No wait, we started walking up the mountain. How the fuck do you walk up a mountain?

I remember in the episode, the Mane six just walked up wards on the mountain side. How the fuck is that even possible. Then again, they did have Pinkie Pie and we do have Neon Party. I guess that makes sense with breaking the laws of physics and all that shit.

Well, then everybody started to joke around and I was pissed as fuck. I was not in the fucking mood to fucking talk, nor hear a fucking conversation from these psychopaths.

I know I’m going a little over board by calling them psychopaths, but they almost seem like psychopaths to me.

So, I then said to them to shut the fuck up, so we could get this over with so we could go home. I was really starting to get tired of the universe making me do shit. So, then everybody did what I said.

Then they started to ask what the dragon will be like. To shut them up, I asked Arrell since he was an animal guy and all. I mean, I knew what the dragon would look like, but I would let a professional explain it, then a pony that just smoke weed and drinks beer all day long.

Well, Arrell was shivering, and lied about knowing the dragon. He said he wouldn’t know, because he never saw one in his life.

Yea, bullshit.

You see, whenever we hang out at the bar, we tell stories. One of those stories we remember as a group, is Arrell seeing and went up to a dragon. He was bragging about how cool he is, because he saw fucking a dragon.

That also got me thinking.

Did the dragon ever tried to kill him where his kind is in no contact, or in fucking space!? Yea didn’t think so.

In addition, Arrell didn’t even start to climb the mountain yet.

He lied, on how he wasn’t a good climber. Then Forest mentioned, he’s a fucking Pegasus. Why not just fly. I mean, even Forest knew that Arrell was an excellent flyer. Well, he refused to go.

Now, Mac was going to make an alternate route for him, but I said, “fuck no, we’re taking him along if he likes it or not.”

What I did was grab some rope Mac had and tied him up and dragged him along the trail. Yea, I just dragged him and he didn’t even fight back. Then again, I guess he was thinking about he had to face his demons one way or another, so he was just letting it happen.

In addition, we bypassed all the obstacles that the Mane six had to do in the episode. I mean we bypassed everything. We just took a short cut, and within an hour or so, we got to the mouth of the cave.

I also wondered, did this cave have a off the grid portal. I mean the portals to off the grid areas pop up in the most isolated of places. In other words, place where there is no human at all. Where animals will not get harmed, or disturbed.

We then all looked into the cave, looking at what we had to face.

I then said to everyone, “listen up. We are dealing with a dragon that does not play nice. What we are going to do is get him out of his sleep and get him to move somewhere else. We might be small ponies to him. But to us, we are more than that. If we stick together, we can be strong. If we all attack at once, we then can get this over within less than an hour. So let’s go in there and show him he fucked with the wrong town.”

Just to let you know, back before I was in the official MLP universe, I was like this. You see, back in with my generation one team. Yea that’s what I call the team. Well, before we go into battle, mostly with TF, I would give my team a quick speech on what they would be facing and what to do as a team. It worked pretty well and I was suspecting that here too.

Well, all my friends agreed, and they didn’t hear a single word that I said. What I mean by that is, they all went individually.
What did I say five seconds ago? I said to stick together, because if a team sticks together, a team will be strong, because everybody is a support. If a team went there separate ways, then the team would fall apart because there would be no one to support the individual.

Therefore, that happened. So, what happened next was Neon going inside first.

I then thought, he was one brave stallion to go and fight that dragon by himself. Then I remembered he breaks laws of Physics.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough to beat the dragon, and the dragon beat his fucking ass. He then crashed into one of the rock outside of the cave.

Then Forest thought he was being all though and shit and went to face the dragon himself. Then he came flying out on fire, because the dragon set him on fire.

Strange.

I know he can do the sonic fire boom (I’ll tell you later about it), which means it’s like the sonic rainboom, but has fire instead of rainbow colors.

Yea, Forest gave up quickly.

Now, unbelievably, I thought Mac could fight the dragon, since he reminds me of a southern redneck and all that shit. Well, he was knocked out.

Up next was jack, but of course he failed as well. I then decided to step up to the plate and went into the cave.

Of course I could’ve just easily killed the dragon, but unfortunately, this is Equestria, and like I said before in the past, that ponies don’t really kill one another or things for that matter.

Believe it or not, that’s how I want to live life. In peace, where I didn’t have to kill nobody, but this is what happened to me.
As for the dragon thing, yea, I got my ass kicked.

Of course.

It’s because I couldn’t just simply kill him, which I do have plenty of weapons to kill him with, but like I said, ponies don’t really kill living things.

Then to my surprised, I saw Arrell talking to Asshat and saying how they must go to face their demons. I then saw Arrell and Asshat go inside the cave.

From what I’ve recalled, arrell went up to the dragon and the dragon regocnized him.

the dragon was really fucking pissed at him for stealing his crack.

I wondered how much crack did he stole from him. From what I had gathered, it was only one hundred thousand tons of it and Arrell and Asshat snorted it all within a day or two. What the fuck. How did they not die is beyond me.

Well, Arrell said he was sorry and said fuck off and go to another mountain.

Then the dragon got up and moved to a mountain that wouldn’t effect anypony.

What the FUCK!?

That’s all we had to do was go up and tell him to leave. It’s like going on this trip was fucking worthless.

However, I did gain something on the trip, and that was a lesson learned. Yea, I actually learned something. It’s that you have to face your demons head on, and you cannot run away from your past. It will eventually find you someday.

When I got home, I thought I never would’ve done this, but I actually wrote a legit letter to Celestia this time, instead of using the fake letter I pre-made. Even Wolf was surprised I was doing this as well.

Dear Celestia,
Today, I did not learn anything about friendship at all. However, I did learn something that is a lesson for life. I learned that you cannot run away from your past. The past will always follow you wherever you will go in life. If you had troubles in your past and tried to run away from it, you just have to face those demons head on. Even facing your demons yourself and not have anyone else do it has its awards too. I’m sorry if you were inspecting a friendship later, but I have to be honest, that I did not learn anything at all about friendship. Instead, I learned something that will continue to stick to my life forever.
Your faithful student,
Knight

And guess what I got in return.

Dear my faithful student,
I was suspecting a friendship letter from you. However, the lesson you had learned even taught me. It is true that you can never run from your past. I even experienced that with Luna. I wanted to run away from it all, but I knew Luna would return with anger, but what I should have done, was confronted her myself instead of sending the elements of harmony. Therefore, this lesson you learned is just good as a friendship letter. I believe what you have learned will always stick with you for life.
Your teacher,
Celestia

I was happy about that letter.

I’m serious.

I really did learn something and for the first time, I was actually happy I was here

P.S. also, to just let you know, I never learned anything from the past days that I was there.
There was didly dick.

If you’re afraid I’m going to turn into a softy here, yea I’m not done yet. I just learned something for once in my life that was meaningful to me.

In addition, I fucking got that son of a bitch. I knew Celestia was a Trollestia. She would’ve confronted Nightmare moon herself, but instead, send someone else to do it! Fuck you universe! I’ve finally got proof she is a Troll! Knight one, Universe, 87. Yea, I suck, don’t I?

the turth is, that i never really intended for Knight to learn a lesson about anything, really. it just some how came up when i was writing this chapter weeks ago. also, heres a good question for this chapter. if you recall how the universe is doing all kinds of shit to him, then maybe, the universe made him think those thoughts, about being happy for once and actully learning a lesson. so, did i blow your fucking mind or what? also, sorry if there was any confusion in the story, because i wrote this chapter weeks ago, and when i was editing this to the best of my ability, i found some of the text was weird. i don't recall of putting this stuff in, because like i said, i wrote this chapter weeks ago. well, hope you enjoyed this chapter. also, remember, MAY 24th, mark your calenders, if you have any.

Chapter12: Dark

Well, after the events of yesterday, which was the dragon thing, I decided to relax and smoke weed and beer(that’s right, smoking beer.) I did it because I deserved it for learning a lesson about life. Yea, you could tell I was fucking high that day.
Well, Wolf was being a lazy fuck as well, and was sleeping on the couch. When I’m high or Wolf is, we usually joke around that make jokes that would offend people back on earth. Hey, the way I see it, that if a simple joke easily offends you, then you’re just basically taking the fun out of things to where no can have fun. Besides, if a joke offends you, just laugh along with it. I mean, you’ll be able to make a joke about the person that offended you one day, but you know, that’s my fucking opinion and all that shit.

By the way, why am I talking about this stuff? I should talk about my story, not to give a speech and shit.

Well, since my friends were tired out from yesterday and Wolf was being a lazy fucker, I decided to go out for a walk through Stalia. I was walking along the edges of the town, and I came across a pony that looked nervous and had a dark coat along with a red mane.

It was as if he was afraid to go into the town of Stalia. I then walked up to him and he even flinched. At the time, I was wondering if he had cancer, but I then thought that was silly of me to think that. It obviously meant he had aids. Maybe malaria as well, but I don’t think he went to the land of the zebras.

Well, I then asked him who he was and his name was Dark. Really. You can just tell this isn’t going to end well. I mean it’s a cool name for a pony and all, but it usually means something bad.

To be honest, I rather felt bad for him, so I asked if he had any friends. He said no and I offered to be a friend to him, and he hesitated a little at it, but he kindly accepted my offer.

Well, then I asked if he had anyplace to crash for the night and he said no. of course, I started to feel like he didn’t have aids and malaria, but he was a fucking hobo.

Great.

I mean along, as he didn’t try to give me aids, I would be fine helping him.

Well, I took him to my home and offered him the guess bedroom. He then said, “Room?”

it’s like he isn’t from this universe, but don’t worry, I checked his DNA. He belonged in this universe. Now if you’re wondering how the fuck DNA can tell of one’s universe, just trust me. There is a way to do it, but you would have to go deep within the DNA strands. In other words, that thing from Jurassic park. To be more specific, the little cartoon that showed during one of the tours. Moreover, no, it wasn’t the gay DNA guy or whatever the fuck that thing was.

Well, the next morning, I showed him to my friends and my friends were accepting to him of course. I mean, they were ponies and didn’t judge because he sounded white.

I know that sounded wrong and offensive, but that’s the cold harsh truth behind my friends. In addition, to let you know, they weren’t racists. In fact, I have no fucking clue what they were. I’m more confused then you are right now as the moment you are reading this.

Anyway, I left Dark to hang out with my friends, while I do a little business. Moreover, when I mean by business, I mean by getting high and shit.

Well, I was about to light my weed, when Wolf got a letter from Twilight, that she was coming over to check up on me. Yea, from now and then, she used to check up on me and my learning of friendship. I’m just surprised she wasn’t here for the past events.

You know, the griffin that was an asshole to me, Doucebag, Mac fucking everything up, Neon wanting to burn everything, my friends somehow keep finding a way to get into my house event tough its locked(which by the way, they decided at complete random to come to my house. Maybe they decided they stole enough from me, because I was missing some shit, until I found out they were hiding in a dead body. Don’t ask how it got there.) Then there was Spike raping her and let’s not forget Neon defying all laws of fucking physics.

I still get a shiver when I ever think about Neon breaking the laws of physics. It just creeps me out, like he’s slenderman or Jeff the killer or something. Maybe he his, but in disguise as a pony.

Nope, couldn’t be. He got the aids and it cured itself. Along with diabetes.

Well, it didn’t take Twilight too long to come to my house and she was pleased with my work. Now, I have no idea what she means by work. I mean, if it’s how well I’m with my friends, then that’s not work. I mean, they decided to be my friends, after Celestia’s evil clone tried to kill us all and we had to use the elements, which I’m still unsure what the fuck the elements are.

I mean, what the fuck do they represent? I know you don’t know, but trust me, it doesn’t make any sense.

Well, Twilight was about to leave, until Dark came through the door. She then looked at me with a shocked expression on her face.

She said we had to have a little private talk.

I then thought, “Is she hitting on me.” I mean she’s nice and all, but I don’t really go for unicorns and more for pegaisi. That and I don’t believe in love as I said before.

Well, fortunately for me, she wasn’t doing that, although, one time when I visited her place, I snooped around her place, and found some of her personal notes, or more like a diary and it had something to with me and something with love. I even saw a heart shape with K+T inside it.

That can’t be good.

Yea, it gets more fucked up later on. Trust me. I mean, when I saw this, although it was later on, like after season 1 repeated itself, that I found these, but it seems that Twilight had the hots for me.

Fuck.

Yea, to give you a heads up, this would also make this story even better and all, which Twilight has, a crush on me. Oh boy, this will be good for the story and possibly keep you guys interested in it, other than walking away from it, and either burning it from the boredom or how you just simply down right down like the story of my life, or just is really tired of the repetitiveness of the curse words.

Well, hey, that’s just me.

Well then, moving on. She told me how surprised she was how I didn’t contact her sooner.

I asked why and she said, “Didn’t you remember from the meetings?”

I asked what meetings and she said the ones in the letters. Yea, the thing is, Celestia made me part of her group that includes Luna and Twilight, that discusses the problems. Don’t ask me why she included me because I have no fucking clue why, because it seems to be an Alicorn business and I wasn’t one. Then again, maybe she was hinting at me of becoming one in the future. Then again, I was being tested and so far, I was passing.

At the time, it was fucking confusing.

I also didn’t know about the meetings because; like I said before, I never opened mail from Celestia. I never trust a troll. I even have some experience from that from Wolf whenever he trolls me.

So, moving on. Twilight explained to me everything about Dark. So heres the thing.

Apparently Dark was a criminal to Equestria. However, no pony knew this except Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and supposedly me, but since I didn’t give a single fuck about going to the meetings, I knew jackshit.

To be honest, I really don’t give a flaming fuck about anything Cantorlot related and shit.

well, I looked at Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, then Dark, then Twilight, and about the same thing 21 more fucking times and I’m not exaggerating that either.

Of course, Twilight saw me do this, and she slapped me. What a fucking rude bicth! She then yelled my name, and told me to get fucking sense or whatever the fuck I was supposed to do.

Well then, I then told Twilight how I don’t see her point of view of things. I mean, he didn’t hurt a fly.

However, just as I said it, he hurts an old woman, and for some odd reason, starts fucking a snail, a turtle, and about 20 fucking bees within 10 seconds flat. Luckily, Twilight didn’t see any of this. Then again, Wolf somewhat does something like that almost every day.

Hurting ponies, not the fucking part. Although, I think he secretly fucks some Everfree forest animals, but I have no fucking clue what’s so ever.

Well, then, moving on. I then told Twilight, I can prove her that Dark isn’t bad as she says, and he changed. I mean, he was nervous when I first met him. However, for some odd reason, I can’t stop thinking about when he hurt an old lady and fucked those animals within 10 seconds.

I mean, just imagine it.

In addition, if I got you to think about it and got a sick picture in your head, apparently my job here is done and I won the fucking bet against Wolf. Now he owes me 50 bits. That bitch.

Now, if you’re liking the thought, then you’re a sick bastard and go fuck yourself.

Therefore, I told Dark to go back to my friends, so I could show Twilight how well he’s with my friends and shit.

Of course, he asked why, and then out of fucking nowhere, Wolf comes running in with a fucking whip and saying tidy mow! Then Dark went with my friends.

I later asked where Wolf got the whip from, and apparently, Wolf went to the Official princess Molestia universe, and stole the whip from her. That and he did it with Molestia.

Now, I remember the tumbler page, and I’m starting to wonder and get scared.

Now, a little quick story here.

Wolf told molestia about the portals, and guess what she did. she came to this universe, and went up to my room, and well, let’s just say I have no idea if I’m supposed to be happy or scared at this point.

What happened to me was I was sleeping a good dream about beer and weed that I was on a planet full of it. Then Molestia woke me up, tied me down, or should I say forced me and did me.

Yes.

She molested me for the whole night. In addition, strangely enough, Wolf said, “can we have a threesome.”

I was so shocked at Wolf, but then again, he told me he enjoyed Molestia’s company, but it’s a threesome. Including me. I didn’t feel like doing a wolf like creature that’s made of wood. Instead, Molestia said no(thank my Celestia), and she continued to molest me.

Now, I have to admit, as much as that JackTHerbert guy on You tube who does the jack reacts shit, and how he wouldn’t want to get molested. It felt somewhat good. Now I’m ashamed of writhing this down, but really it felt good, but at the same time I’m scared of her coming back for round two. By the way, she did come back, but she came back for Wolf, but she did me a few times tough.

It just means I’m not a virgin anymore. Yay for me.

So, getting back to the story. Sorry for that as well, but let’s continue. So, Dark was good with my friends and shit, but Twilight wasn’t convinced.

Well, the next thing I did was go around town and asking other ponies of what they think about Dark. Now, I know it’s only been a day, but Stalia is like ponyville, except the gender population evens out equally.

I mean ponyville had a gender imbalance, that there were more mares then stallions, but in Stalia, it even out perfectly, but now there’s more mares in Stalia, and now there’s perks of being a stallion now in Stalia.

So yea. Well, Twilight still wasn’t convinced after the ponies said they liked him and he was a good pony.

That fucking bicth.

After all the things, I did for her. Then again, what did I do for her?

Well, whatever.

So next thing I did was go talk to the old woman pony that got hurt by Dark. I know it was a stupid Idea, but what else there was to prove to Twilight? Well, luck was on my side, because apparently the old mare liked it, and had a little dark side to her and asked Dark for more pain.

We all then slowly backed away, and somehow, that convinced Twilight. I have no idea why that convinced her, but ok then.
Well, what happened next, my friends, Dark, and me, along with Twilight and Wolf, went back to my house. Twilight would keep this secret and Dark spoke up. He said he thanked me for being his friend, and offered me to come with him.

I asked what the fuck are you talking about?

He then slowly rose into the air like a fucking possessed fucker would, and wind started coming through my home.

He then said, “Join me Knight. And we will rule Equestria as friend and friend. Let the magic of friendship do something for us!”

first, I don’t know where he got the first line at all. Second, the second line seemed what the fuck?

Therefore, I then became a softy again, and told him he was better than this. Then out of nowhere, and everyone in the room wondered as well where it came from, that sad music started to pop up.

Then Dark had a serious, nervous look on his face. He then disappeared, where I have no fucking clue where he went.
Now, if you somehow like Dark at this point, don’t worry, I eventually found him, and we’ll get to that later. So yea. More random shit happened that day. Just like every day for me.

for some reason, this reminds me of Chapter 9, except i i'm not sorry for it and don't feel ashmed of it. thats because, there was a point to this chapter. however, the character Dark won't be returning for a long ass time, but he will return. see you next week then.

Chapter 13: the fucking sleepover

Well then. I had a sleepover.

Ok, so here’s what happened.

Jack and Mac, hehe that somewhat rhymes, were outside for some reason. Jack was out, trying to get inspired for more of his work, by nature. Mac was doing god knows what. I mean, he’s a southern red neck, so he does whatever the fuck he wants to.

Well, from what I know, Jack was staring at a branch. Either he was trying to get inspired for his work, or he was having naughty thoughts about fucking the tree, much as Fluttershy did in “I want to be a tree”.

Therefore, Mac then came the fuck out of nowhere, and pull the branch down. I’m guessing he wanted Jack to stop having those naughty thoughts. Why am I writing naughty down anyway? I don’t know. Ever since I put that Moelestia thing down, I’ve been thinking about Molestia. That bitch, but, you know what. I’m not fucking explaining it.

Anyway, Jack got pissed off at Mac for taking down the branch. Then Mac told Jack that he was being a dumbass, by staring at shit. They then both got into a fight and one thing led to another.

Well, there was a storm. Yea, it was a bad one. The storm took over 10 lives, and surprisingly, no one gave a fuck. In fact, the dead bodies are still there. Of course, by now, they are skeletons, but I believe the town voted to have the dead bodies removed by next Tuesday.

Yea, apparently, the fillies were getting nightmares and the fillies were driving their parents nuts about having nightmares and shit. Well, the parents were fed up with it, and they decided to have the dead bodies removed.

Those little fuckers.

They ruined everything. Believe it or not,( hehe, Ripley’s believe it or not) that when I’m ever depressed or drunk as shit, I somehow talk to the dead bodies, as if they’re my friends.

Yes, you heard me right. I have dead bodies as friends, but only when I’m depressed or drunk. Other times, I just fucking to whatever the fuck I want to it. Moreover, no, I don’t fucking rape, but somehow a swarm of bees go rape the dead bodies every so often.

Apparently this town is an adult version of Ponyville. Well, on rare days that is. Most of the time, it’s like Ponyville, but I really don’t fucking no anymore.

Well, Mac and Jack were trying to take cover from the storm and failed to do so. Yea, Mac found one of the dead bodies, and used it as a pony shield, while Jack, just used a filly that was still alive.

I was surprised that the parents were not even pissed off. Then again, I believe from what I’ve heard from them, is that they called their child a mistake. Now, I know it seems like I hate children and shit, but truth be told, I really don’t. I just don’t see myself as a good remodel.

Therefore, I try to avoid them when ever I can. Besides, I just find that sad the there’s adults that think their child is a mistake.

Oh well then.

Later that kid died. Not from the storm, although he was fucked up a little bit, and he didn’t get medical treatment till two weeks later. I’m still surprised he survived after that.

Well, anyway, the filly or colt. I really don’t know what it was. Maybe both.

Well, as I was saying, the colt or filly was killed by the father, who was a drunk basturd. Funny thing is, that a month later, I got into a bar fight with him and I killed him.

Yep, his guts spilled all over the place. The wife tried to sue me, but I killed her before the court date. No bitch is going to sue me.

That fucking bitch.

Well, that means the family is all dead. Well, the thing is that the filly or colt went to heaven, but surprisingly the father as well. I saw him beating the child to a bloody pulp when I was in heaven.

Oh yea, I don’t know how to put this, but I will tell you how and why I went to heaven. In fact, I went to many other different heavens several of times. I will tell you how and when, when the time comes. However, until then you can just guess.

Oh right, and the mother ended up in hell. Although it’s not called hell here. It’s call purgatory. I mean, there is a devil, however, he’s not ruthless. In fact, he just rules that’s it. He doesn’t even tortures the poor souls that went to purgatory.

All the souls do is just do absolutely nothing at all. It’s kind of like that one part in hereafter, the one with Matt Damon I believe. I mean, they do some stuff sometimes, but most of the times, they just do nothing at all.

I actually met the ruler, and he’s a pretty nice guy when you get to know him, but he just says it’s his job to do this. So yea. It’s a fun hell.

So, back to the story. I was smoking weed, while Wolf was visiting Cantorlot. Yes, I said Cantorlot. Apparently, Celestia wanted to have a private meeting with him and something else as well. It was nothing bad, nor nothing with me. It was just something else. Therefore, I was left alone by myself.

That fucking doucebag.

In addition, of all the things that I did for him. Then again, I think that’s the weed talking. Yea, before I wrote this part, I smoked some shit before I wrote this part. What? The weed helps with writing and shit.

Therefore, I then noticed them outside, and of course, I wasn’t going to help them at all. Nevertheless, if you recall how I said the universe was making me say things that I wouldn’t usually say. Yea, my bodies forced itself up, and goes outside and yelled, “come inside! Quick! Before its gets any worse!”

yea, that happened. I can see the universe really wants me to repeat stuff here. However, to let you know, the universe eventually stops this, but it isn’t till I’m finished with the repeating and shit.

Well, Jack came in, then Mac, but Jack wanted to be a Gentlecolt to me, and had Mac go clean up outside with a hose.

First, how the fuck does he know I have a fucking hose. I mean, I know I have a hose somewhere around, it came with the place, but I never took it out. In fact, I believe it was still in the closet. I even checked on it, and apparently, the thing teleported outside. Why oh why is the universe doing this to me, I’ll never know.

Second, why the fuck does he need the hose. I mean its fucking raining outside. Use that fucking water instead of making my water bill go up.

Well, technically, Princess Celestia pays the bills to my place, so I could use all the fucking shit I want. That and along with food, and she already paid off the place for me to live at forever, so there’s that, but whatever.

Now, back on earth, that wouldn’t be such a great idea, since it could sometimes lead to diseases, but sometimes but not all the time though.

However, here, the water is recycled and even made. The thing is about is if the Pegasus makes their own snowflakes, rainbows, and shit. that means, they make rain or water as well.

Now, if you remember back in your schooling days, if you recall during science class, you know some of the laws of physics. For example, there is a law, where matter cannot be destroyed, nor created. It just simply transferred and shit.

Although, I’ve been breaking that laws of physics when I first found the portal to the universes and shit. So, suck it science. Fuck you and your laws.

Therefore, I guess that makes me a Neon Party and a Pinkie Pie. Then again, I have a reason for breaking the laws of physics. With Neon and Pinkie do it, they just do it at complete random.They just do out of the blue.

One minute you’re talking to either of them, then the next minute, they’re either disappeared without an excuse, or vanished for a second, and comes back, with a pack of dragon humping panda bees, that is fucking Chewbacca from Star Wars. While turkeys are killing living monkey butts, while chickens (scootaloos) are humping the planet Jupiter while cats have rainbows coming out of their asses.

Moreover, I’m dead fucking serious about that part. Just to tell this, that one day Pinkie came by for a quick visit, and I was talking to Neon. Well, Pinkie joined the conversation and that actually happened. Of course, the pony citizens panicked, and for once, they actually tried to figure out who did it.

Well, Neon and Pinkie just erased their memories of it ever happening, except for me. I still have nightmares of them coming into my room at night, watching me through the window, making sure I don’t say a word. Then again, I think that’s just Molestia doing that.

This for some reason is ok to me. Really, it’s not. I really don’t have a problem with that. Along as she doesn’t fucking rape me, I’m cool with it. Besides, she mostly does Wolf, but like I said before, she does me from time to time.

Now, what the fuck was I talking about? Fuck. This always fucking happen to me. I mention one thing, and then I completely go off track. Son of a fucking bitch. No wait, now I remember.

Equestria breaking the laws of physics. One more thing to say, that if scientist from Earth ever came and found out about how these ponies do things, they will be destroying textbooks about science. I mean, it’s like they’ve been doing something for nothing.

Oh well. Poor scientists and shit its clearly that I’m saying that I don’t give a fuck.

So, while Mac was outside doing god knows what. Maybe rednecks put those hoses up their asses are something.

Well, Jack thanked me for saving them for the rain. Now, the universe made me blurt out words that I didn’t want to say. I said, “Hey! Since the storm is really bad, why don’t you and Mac stay here and have a sleep over!?”

God I hate the universe. Why does it torture me so and making me say those cursed words. Dam it. Well, Jack looked at me awkward of course. I mean grownups don’t usually have that, unless of course it’s a friend who needs to stay at a place for a while, then moves out.

Well, anyway, that happened. What else happened was that the universe made me say, “I never had a sleepover before. Oh this will be perfect!”

yea, that’s not true. Of course, I had them when I was little. Well, Jack had a little smile on his face and agreed to it.

Now, what happened next was well, we did shit. Since putting mud and shit on our faces isn’t what a stallion usually do, we instead just drank a few beers, and just talked. Yea, we were just having fun and all.

By the way, I was lucky that the universe didn’t make me take out a book, that said, “all you wanted to know about sleepovers, but were afraid to ask.” That or “shit you didn’t know about sleepovers.” Alternatively, something like that.
I always had a problem with Twilight reading from that book. The thing is, that she said, “We have to do it by the book. It says so in the book.” From my point of view, the book is telling her what to do.

I mean, that would never happen in…. no wait. We have the bible, and apparently, it told christens to go to door-to-door and shove their religion down other people’s throats. In fact, that actually happened to me.

A retarded christen heard that term, and he went up to my door, opened my mouth, and tired to shove the book down my mouth. Well, I called the cops, and I really don’t know what happened to him. but for some odd reason, I keep getting this weird feeling inside of me that he was put down, and for some odd reason I keep getting this odd feeling as well, right before he died, he said, “me goes to sleep now.”

I feel like zombie Hitler has something to do with this. The thing is, that I actually went to a universe, where earth was taken over by zombie Hitler. I think he wanted revenge on me, he saw a retarded person, and killed him, but that’s just a theory though.

Well, as I was saying, that it seems like Twilight will do anything that the book tells her to do. Now, let me ask you this. Would Twilight kill her friends if the book told her to?

I can just see it when she’s talking to the princess about it. “But princess, the book said so. It said to kill my friends.” It would either be a trolling prank by spike, the book of the dead, or just a weird situation, where the book is trolling her, or it’s just a weird fucked up coincidence, that the book said so.

Well, after that, we told ghost stories. Jack told the one about the sleeping fucker.

Apparently the sleeping fucker is about a guy who was fucking ponies in his sleep. Then one night, he mysteriously died (possibly from aids), and legend has it, that the sleeping fucker will fuck you in your sleep. No matter what if you’re a mare or a stallion.

I told this story to Molestia once, while she was banging Wolf, and she got so scared, she jizzed all over the place. That and she molested Wolf and me at the same time, as if we were protection. Why do I feel like that was like a pun, or a bad joke? I don’t know.

Then Mac told the one of happy apple.

Apparently, it’s an old legend to the apple family. The story goes, that one day, an apple family member prayed to god (this universes god. I’ll explain later.) That he wanted an apple to come to life.

This apple family member was really obsessed with apples and apples was his life. Well one day, his wish came true, that an apple came to life. In fact, the apple was happy he was alive and well, that the unnamed pony named him happy apple. He started to play games with him and enjoy his time with him.

However, after a few days had passed, the apple started to get darker and creepier. He even started to say disturbing things, as in to kill his closets’ family members and friends. Happy apple even told him to make a bomb, and set it off in the market place, where thousands would burn. Of course, the pony refused to do it, so the apple just continued to decay day after day.

It was to the point, he was so creepy, and so life like instead of being cartoonist looking, that he started laughing at random, as if the apple had gone insane.

Well, one day, the pony was working the field of apples trees, and strangely got tired, and decided to take a little nap. His family members went away to visit other members of the family. The pony had to stay, so he could take care of the apples.

Well, the pony went to his bedroom, and took a what was supposed to be a small nap. Well, legend has it, that happy apple killed him and was never seen again.

From what I’ve heard, it seems to be a shitty creepy pasta, but the strange part is, that I looked into this. Apparently most farmers is familiar with this tale and there was a mysterious murder of an apple family member. I even went to see the family members about it, and they didn’t want to say a word to me.

Well, hopefully I didn’t ruin the comedy mood for you, nor do I hope I scared the shit out of you right now.

I also had a scary story of my own as well. It was supposed to be funny, but something ruined the mood for it. What happened was that I told of the tale of the unborn fetus.

That’s right folks. The unborn fetus returns, and I’m just so happy to bring this back to you guys. Of course, you know I’m trolling you by now.

Well, anyway, the unborn fetus never dies. Especially what happened during those events of Derpy, which we will never speak or mention again.

Why did she shove those muffins up her asshole? Please? Why god? Why do you still make me think those things?

Strange. I don’t know why I never asked her. If you wondering what the fuck I’m evening saying, like I said many of times before, you’ll find out later in the future, but for now, let’s continue.

So how I started this scary story, was that a mare, was pregnant (and we all know what mare that is. Derpy hooves? Although, how did she become pregnant?)

Her husband beated her to a bloody pulp almost every day. He was an alcoholic, and never even loved his wife.

Then why were they married? Well, why was Stalins mother married to an abusive father.

So anyway, the husband soon died of…. I don’t know, aids I guess. Who knows? Maybe it was STDs or something.

Well, soon, the wife wanted an abortion, and of course abortions don’t even exist in Equestria, and Jack and Mac were looking at me strangely. Well, I then switched to grabbing a knife, and cutting the baby out.

However, really, we could just say, she forgot that it doesn’t exist yet. Well, the reason why she wanted it out was that she thought the baby will be the devil or something more like of that of the father himself. I have no fucking clue what I’m saying.

Well, one night, the fetus disappears without a trace, until she found it in the toilet. Well, she grabbed a trash bag, dragged it over to the dump, and dumped it to be picked at by animals.

Well, legend has it, that the unborn fetus was alive. In addition, legend has it, that if you go out into the woods at night, the unborn fetus will be watching you.

He will smell the fear off of you, and some say, he has tentacles and has no eyes at all, but only of a mouth the unborn fetus has. Moreover, if you look at him, he will take your soul. But if you mange to escape his grasp, don’t relax, because he will follow you home, and makes sure you don’t see the next day.

In addition, unfortunately for me, Mac and Jack were in the woods early that day, and I had no fucking idea they did that. They were shriving man. It was somewhat fun to watch. I wonder if I could someday tell the tale of cupcakes and rainbow factory. I bet they will shit themselves with that one.

Well, unfortunately, that if you remember that unborn fetus from the time Doctor Whooves was here, well, he was still around.

I mean, I did tell you about how Wolf put him in our neighbors’ mailbox. By the way, I remember the next morning, Wolf and me had our snacks and shit.

We watched him just scream when he saw the unborn fetus in his mailbox.

However, apparently, I made him go to therapy, because somehow, his wife had a miscarriage, and he thought it was the ghost of the unborn child. Whatever, it’s still funny to watch. In fact, we took the unborn fetus back, and we continued to fuck with his mind even more.

It was hilarious to watch. Trust me, it was. Well, after our neighbor was cured, we kind of dumped him off at the dump.

Well, to my knowledge, at first, I made that story up, with the unborn fetus and all, but what I didn’t know was, that it was all true.

Yes. There’s an unborn fetus slenderman now lurking in the woods of the forest. However, apparently, I don’t give a fuck about it.

Well, what happened was, that I slowly came behind Mac and Jack, and said boo(classic), but what happened next, terrified me.

The unborn fetus was right behind me, and said in the creepiest voice I have ever heard in my life. “Dada!”

we were all screaming in fear that night. Well, I fortunately had a gun on me, and I shot it, but for some reason, it was that terminator from terminator 2. It was like the liquid person.

Well, shit fuck.

Mac was fortunately was able to knock it out with a pan. The question is, what did we do with it?

We stuck it back into my neighbors’ mailbox.

Yea, and to let you know what happened, he went back therapy again.

However, I was kind of annoying though. He kept screaming every night. He was so loud; I could hear him from next door. I mean, my house and his house, are roughly fifteen to twenty feet away from each other. In addition, to let you know, after the town found the unborn fetus, the unborn fetus disappeared.

Which I found out later, that story I told, was what he exactly did. Great. I created a monster now. In addition, apparently, I’m his dada. Where, I guess you can say, I fucking disowned him, and he was my least favorite child. Of course, I don’t have any children, so yea, there you go.

In addition, one more thing, that happy apple story Mac told, I have to admit, that it makes you think. I mean, it make you think, that did the pony was just so obsessed with apples, was it his imagination, or was there a murdering apple that’s a psychopath.

Now I feel like a retarded dumbass when I just wrote that. Whatever.

Therefore, what happened next was making smores. Well, it was peaceful, at first, but somehow Mac took some crack from the dragon that one time and Jack and Mac were all over the place.

I didn’t have any, because I was smoking weed. smoking weed doesn’t go well with smores. It goes good with heroin.

Well, it took them a while to calm down and while they were high, they made a bath tub full of acid, and dumped a dead body into it. Don’t ask me where they got a dead body from. I wouldn’t know, other than those dead bodies that were outside of course.

Well, then we had a pillow fight at first, but then turned out to be a gunfight. Apparently, Jack said something to Mac that Jack wouldn’t take back and they broke through one of my walls. They broke through so hard, that they were in my hidden basement.

What were they? The men of steel?

Well, they then grabbed my homemade guns, and started to shoot at one another. Now, how they knew how to use it, and what it was is beyond me.

Eventually they calmed down, and then they asked what they had in their hooves. I told them to shut the fuck up and go to bed. I had to fucking clean the place up, so I didn’t want to be ignored by them.

Therefore, they did. Well, eventually, I cleaned up the place, although, there was some fluid from the unborn fetus, and I took it for a little trolling prank for Wolf.

Well, I went to my bedroom and when I went up stairs, the two were fighting to the death. Along with a strange Star Trek death battle music in the background that neither of them noticed.

In addition, both Mac and Jack decided to share a bed. Not that they are gay, but Jack brought up a good point, that if it’s a sleepover, it’s should be in the hosts room and for some reason, I have a futon in there.

I honestly didn’t know I have a futon. In fact, this universe doesn’t even have futons, although they do have it, but barley anyone knows its existence. Therefore, I don’t know where a futon came from, but it was there.

Well, then the tree branches broke my window. Yea, the thing is that Mac and Jack took the tree branches down or whatever that they were doing. It was safe.

It was just that all the way in Ponyville, the tree branches weren’t all taken down. Apparently, applejack didn’t get them all in time. Nice going Applejack! You fucking Bitch!!

Well, Jack and Mac realized the accident, and made up and fixed my window and shit. Well, you think everything else is all fixed and there are no problems.

Well then, you are a fucking dumbass then. If you think about of all the shit that has happened to me, you would know that everything isn’t safe.

Well, I got a knock on the door. I didn’t answer it and som ponies break down the door! The ponies then came up to me and asked where the fuck Mac is.

Then Mac heard the noise, came down, and ran to hide. Apparently, Mac was in debt with the Godstallion, and owed him money he never paid.

Now the Godstallion sent his bounty hunters after Mac. Well, Jack came to save the day, but was knocked out within seconds.

Well, I would kill them, but since these are ponies that don’t know who I am, I had to play it cool. In other words, knock them out with a frying pan. Which I did, but I think I might’ve killed one of them, because the back of one of their heads were bleeding and they didn’t come back to consensuses.

Well, we put the other pony in a chair and tied him to it. Mac and Jack eventually came back to the land of the living and we interrogated him. We tried everything, but somehow, I had an AIDS syringe lying around in my hidden basement and which I then got and gave him aids.

In addition, I had an AIDS syringe so I could figure out a possible cure for it, but the syringe were good in these type of situations like these I guess.

Well, that got him to talk apparently. Well, he then told where the Godstallion was hiding and we knew what we had to do. If you’re thinking we went after him, you’re wrong.

What we did is, Mac and Jack got rid of the bodies, and buried them in the ground, along with one of them still alive, while I smoked weed.

Then we headed out to Neon’s place, which we had to break in, since he lived in the party shop. The owners somehow didn’t get up when we broke in. I mean, there was no alarm system are anything.

Therefore, we went up to Neon’s room and he opened immediately. Apparently, he was still up at two o’clock at night.

He had music in the background, while jumping around the place, while saying “woohoo!” like Daffy Duck would say. We went into his room and it was fucking amazing. Even more amazing the Pinkie Pies room.

Well, that happened.

Neon offered us some cake, but we declined. Mac and jack didn’t want any, since it was night time and all. I didn’t want any because I don’t trust Neon with the cake.

I think he drugged it, which we will be then knocked out, be dragged to a hidden secret basement, then have our organs harvested like in Cupcakes. Well, the pony was already a complete psychopath. Why not admit the truth? I do wonder, if Bronies back on earth heard about Neon and my adventures, I wonder if someone would make a Neon Cupcake fanfic.

Along as I’m not the victim, I’ll be fine, although, I would feel bad for Forest though.

Well, we asked Neon if he could help us get rid of Mac’s debt with the Godstallion and he agreed to. After that, he disappeared and we didn’t see him till the next morning. When the morning came, we got up, got the newspaper that I have on my doorstep, and it was somewhat fucked up.

Apparently, Neon burned the Godstallion place of business, all of his men raped and killed. Then there was a bunch of unborn fetuses.

Oh god why.

Then there were cats and dogs pissing on each other at the crime scene. Then apparently the god stallion was at the orchestra last night, which Celestia and Luna were there. Although, no one knew he was the Godstallion, but he was apparently an important business pony.

Well, apparently, Neon cut his throat, ate his legs, pissed on him, raped him, chopped off his head, cut off his horn that he had, cut off his cutie mark, and harvested all of his organs.

My god. It was true. Neon had become what we have all feared. Pinkie Pie from Cupcakes, although that would be in a good way, since he was a corrupted pony and all.

Also, since Neon killed the Godstallion, that means he’s the new one. However, he said he didn’t want it, so he gave it to me.

I turned it down, because I didn’t feel like being responsible for innocent deaths I guess you could say. I don’t really fucking know why I turned it down.

In addition, I gave the position to Mac, but he turned it down, so it’s the Godstallions second in command.
Well, that was the highlight of my day and shit. I then sent Mac and Jack home and continued to smoke weed.

Or
(The reason why I say or is because threes another ending to this chapter. I was throwing these two endings around in my head and I couldn’t choose which one to do. I mean, I wanted to have something short and sweet, along with some comedy involved. However, at the same time, I wanted something a little more serious with still comedy involved in it. so here’s the second ending. I pretty much decided to do both. So, you can just decide which ending is better for you in your opinion.)

Mac and Jack made up, and stopped fighting and shit. Well, then Factory Dash came in. She walked out of my hidden basement and shit and went to ask me something.

Well, Mac and Jack just stared at Factory Dash, because she had blood on her face. I then knocked both of them out with a frying pan. Factory Dash and I talked for a while, deciding what to do.

Then all of a sudden, some ponies kick down my door. They came up to me, asking where Mac was. I asked them why and they said that he owed the Godstallion money. Yes. Mac was in debt to the mob.

Shit fuck.

What happened next was, well, it’s simple. Factory Dash and I kicked their asses. We pretty much killed all of them and Factory Dash was going to use them for the Factory and shit.

Factory Dash and I then went to wake up Mac, to ask him where the fuck the Godstallion is at. I didn’t want more bounty hunters to keep coming to my fucking house.

I eventually asked him, and he said he was somewhere in Manehattan. Then I knocked him out again for no reason at all.

I then teleported me and Factory Dash to Manehatten, where is the Godstallion’s main operation is at. Of course, I grabbed my guns and shit, so we can kill him and all.

I also knew how to teleport to Manehatten, because, well like I said before, my magic is powerful.

Therefore, we did that and went to the address Mac told me. It was an underground operation that was attached to a disguise building, which was an Italian place.

Well, that makes a lot of sense. Mob people are Italian.

Therefore, we went through the basement door and we killed a whole lot of fucking ponies.

We eventually found the office, which was all dark. In fact, it was dark as fuck. We found the desk and the chair was looking in the other direction.

Well I called him out and then the chair turned around. It had a dead pony sitting in it, with a TV attached to his head, kind of like with the joker in the Arkham series.

Of course, ponies in this universe don’t have any TV’s so this was done by someone on the outside. The TV finished with the static and a message poped up on the screen.

There was also a voice over that sounded like from Portal 2 on it.

It said, “TF would like to thank you for your participation. Now this place will explode in 21 seconds. Have a nice day.”
Fuck.

Well, Factory Dash and I sprinted out of the building and got out just in time before the bomb went off. I mean, as we were running, we saw the bombs and they were attached to the walls.

Eventually, other ponies came to see the commotion, we hid behind another building, and all that shit. We tried to catch out breaths and we tried to talk it over.

I mean, how did TF know I was going over there. Of course, at the time, I knew he was planning something. something big for me. I didn’t know what, but it was something.

Then Factory Dash grabbed something out that she found in the building, which was a note for the Godstallion to go to the orchestra in Cantorlot tonight.

I then told Factory Dash she was relived from her duties so I can go kill this guy myself. I also told her to tell what happened here to TK. He would possibly figure something what the fuck was going on here.

I then teleported to Cantorlot and It just happened that I teleported right in front of the music hall.

Of course, the music was about to begin. So what was happening inside?

Well, everypony were taking their seats. Of course, it was the high-class snooty French ponies. Actually, I had no idea what they were. I mean, they were snobs indeed, but the type of snob I didn’t know.

Well, the announcer said that Celestia, Luna, Twilight were there and were attending the show. They also said my name, but I wasn’t there. They said my name as the personal student of Celestia and what not. They all took their seats, which by the way, Wolf was there too.

Twilight asked him where the fuck I was at. Including Celestia as well. She then asked Wolf, if I had gotten the letter from her three days ago. Well, I did, I just threw in the pile of shit that you keep giving me.

Fucking Bitch.

Well, the music than began. I watched all of this happened and I spotted the Godstallion. How did I know what he looked like? I found pictures of him back in Manehatten of course.

I spotted him, but I didn’t know how to kill him without attracting attention. Therefore, I went down there to get Wolf. Of course, Celestia the others saw me and asked why I was late. I then said the only thing I could come up with.

Aids happened.

Of course, with the universe and all, Celestia heard me say there was a storm. Fucking universe. She told me to take my seat, but I then told her I had to talk with Wolf for a moment.

I took him into the bathroom stalls and him what had happened and my plan. I then stayed in the bathroom, while Wolf got the Godstallion. I told Wolf to get the Godstallion to the bathroom however he could.

What he did, was whacking him in the head was a lead pipe. For some reason, no one saw this happened. Apparently the classical music is more appealing than a pony being beaten to death.

Well, Wolf then made a run for it back to the bathroom. He did without a scratch and I killed the Godstallion.

Of course, his followers saw this and bowed down to me, as I was the new Godstallion. Yea, no. Long story short, I gave the leading position to the second in command.

I then went back home and of course, Celestia asked where I was, but my response was, I had aids. Of course, what she heard was that I wasn’t feeling too well and that’s why I was in the bathroom.

Well, that was the highlight of my day.

I then went back home, kicked out Jack and Mac, which were left in the street for the rest of the night and smoked weed and get drunk.

well, if you recall one of the blogs that i did, i said i was planning on doing a colloaberation with someone, and kfc agrred to it, and i'm guessing if you read the hint i put into the chapter, you can guess what i was trying to say on the collaob. the fucking apple story. its meant to make fun of my story and creepypastas. i also gave out hints to the big secert of the story that i havn't revealed yet, so, now you have more clues to guess. as for the sleeping fucker thing, that was kind of random, and if someone wants to make a weird fanfic out of that, then be my guest, although, i doubt someone will want to do that. as for the unborn fetus, i'm just so happy i brought that thing back. i've also gave it it a name other then unborn fetus. slender fetus. its like slenderman, but its an unborn fetus instad of a man. so yea, theres that going for me. as for the endings, you just decide on which ending is better. i was also going to have a little segment with TF and how he would be saying, "i'm watching you Knight. i've always been watching you." although, i just didn't feel like it was such a good idea to do. so, yea, and expect that mob shit and the new Godstallion thing to come back in the future. so, she you next week, which is chapter 14.

Chapter 14: the Black Guy Pony

(Note: ok, this a serious note here, that if you are ever are offended by my fanfics with the jokes, then i do apologize for it. i wouldn't normally do this apology with my fanfics, but i feel like i should, because i think one day, a guy is going to read this and likes it, but its runied for him because of the jokes and he gets offended and complains about it as all muslims do.)

Well, this part of my life happened after the events of the sleepover. I mean, I remember when I woke up in the morning, it felt like I had a hangover. Maybe the universe was making me fell like it for trying to tell the truth to Celestia. I mean, I was fine when I was at Cantorlot, but now, I felt like I had a hangover.

Like I was reified. Well, I was right. Apparently, Wolf trolled me, by putting reifies in my weed and beer, son of a bitch. At the time, I didn’t know what I did. I could’ve fucked a chicken, which meant I fucked a Scootaloo.

Well, shit. Who knows, maybe I had a tiger in my bathroom. Which surprisingly, I did. well then, it’s like I had a hangover adventure for me. I looked outside, and the place was a wreck.

It was odd indeed, because no one was outside. I wondered, did I kill everypony? Because if I did, well then. Looks like I was going to pony hell. Where all you do, is absolutely fucking nothing.

Great punishment.

Well, of Crouse, there was that hell pony that I knew, so it wouldn’t have been that bad.

Well, I found Wolf in the bathtub, who had a missing tooth, and I carried him outside and sprayed him with the hose. He soon woke up, asking where the fuck he was. I told him to get his ass up, and we walked the town.

Of Crouse, we knew we did something that night and we decided to figure out what had happened. Well, I then heard Neons voice to go near him.

I was afraid. I was wondering if he was going to harvest my organs. I then thought, “No. Neon couldn’t have killed all of the townspeople within a hour. He would’ve had to have plenty of coolers to put the organs in, so they would continue to be fresh and not rot.”

Well, I went over to him, which was a hugh risk, psychopath or not.

He then quickly took me into the party store, as if he was pedo bear from the internet. Of course, he would be raping me, but then again, I wasn’t a child. Whatever.

Therefore, I was in the party store, and everything was dark as fuck. Neon eventually lilted a candle and slowly, creepily showed everyone else to me.

I asked why everyone was in here, and they said the Zebra was why. I faced hoof. I mean, really.
The black guy pony.

Maybe I should explain myself. You see, back on earth, I called Zecroa Black guy Pony, since she sounded black. That and she was a Zebra after all. You know. Zebras are from Africa, whatever.

You get offended, you get offended.

Well, other than white ponies being afraid of black ponies, that seems to be like bombs to them, I asked if Mac and Jack how they felt.

The thing is, it’s not that I actually give a fuck about their feelings, but I was starting to think something was up. Well, I asked, and they said they had hangovers as well. I then looked at Wolf, who just simply didn’t give a fuck.

That fucker.

Well, we hid in that party shop for about one or two hours, before the black guy pony came. In other words, Zecora. She was looking around, and gave a sigh.

I’m guessing she was tired of ponies being afraid of her, or in other words, having this happen again to her. She then walked away, but no pony came out.

I then asked the guys what would happen if I went to Zecroa. Well, Neon said that she would cut my neck, rape me, eat my legs, and harvest my organs.

Really.

Strange, I was looking at one right now. Therefore, I was guessing Neon is the black guy pony. As you can tell, that was a sarcastic joke.

Well, anyway, while I was talking, Macs little brother, shadow eclipse. I have to admit, that’s an awesome name for a pony. That is a fucking awesome name

. Well, anyway, shadow ran away from us, little fucker. Shadow was trying to go and meet Zecora, but Mac refused to let him, since he’s the bigger brother and all doesn’t want him to get hurt, which reminds me of something.

Well anyway, Shadow escaped and went after Zecora. I also have to admit, he’s a brave little one too. I mean, of all the ponies that I have met; he’s the bravest of them all for going into the Everfree.

I mean, sure there was the other guys, but I convinced them. How? By absolute nothing. Now, did that make any sense to you? Neither did I make any sense of it.

Moving on.

Well, he moved through the Everfree and was almost at Zecroas hut, which was a decent amount of travel done by him.

However, Mac noticed he was gone the moment he left the store. We followed him and as shadow was going to meet Zecroa, Mac and the others stopped him. By the way, they were in the fields of the blue mutated hybrid flowers.

I mean, I wasn’t in it, since I remember this episode, so I stayed away from it. of course, why didn’t I tell the others. I really do not give a fuck about them. I mean, it’s fun to be with them sometimes and it’s good to be their friends, but I really don’t give a fuck about them.

Besides, it’s only a flower that makes fun of you and possibly is racist. Son of a fucking bitch. I just realize that they would’ve torched a black pony, which would’ve been racist and shit. Strange how I just realized this so many years in the future after it happened.

Well, as I was saying about the racist flowers, yea, there you go. Therefore, the guys threaten Zecroa, to never come back to Stalia and what not.

Well, we all eventually went back home, but it took us the entire day, since Zecroas home was near Ponyville and it takes a while to travel through the Everfree.

I was going to figure out what happened with Jack, Mac, and I but I decided to say fuck it and smoke weed and go to bed. When I woke up, it was the fucking universe again.

I got up to go to the bathroom to take a piss. Well, I looked in the mirror and nothing happened to me. Well, I then went to the living room, to smoke my morning weed.

I used my levitation spell to grab the weed, but the spell didn’t happen. Instead, what came were two little fireworks, like Asian fireworks that are illegal.

You know. The ones that you would get in illegal Mexico or the illegal part of Mexico, where they have the illegal Asian fireworks.

Yea, two of those popped out. The first one exploded and it gave me a message, saying, “FUCK YOU, singed, the Universe.” then the second one exploded, and it showed a troll face.

I think I have an arch enemy now. It’s this universe.

Yes, apparently, the universe wants to make me do my destiny. How about no. I’ll tried to continued to resist. I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to feed the paresprite.

Well, I went to wake up Wolf, and Wolf wasn’t wooden anymore. He had actual fur on him and not magic. When Wolf woke up, he was shocked and asked why. I yelled, “Dam you universe. Dam you! Dam you to HELL!! You blew it up! You blew it up!!” I then got up from the ground, pretending that I didn’t do the ending for the original planet of the apes.

Well, the next thing you know, the room got cold and the window was also broken as well. It was Forest of course, and instead of fire, he was ice. Yea, his coat color change from fire colors to ice colors. You know, like light blue and shit. Well, you might as well call him icestallion.

You know, like iceman from X-men or was that even from X-men. I think he was, but icemen is gay, so I guess whatever you want to say then.

Forest came to me and said it was the black pony’s fault. Really, I don’t think black ponies can do this unless they’re from Africa.

You got offended yet? If so, then I’m surprise you’re still reading this. I mean, I made a whole bunch of jokes that would offend people, and you’re still reading it. Just admit it. You enjoy the racist stuff. Besides, if you ever seen Avenue Q, everyone’s a little bit racist.

After Forest said what he said, the rest of the gang came in. what I saw next was what the fuck. I saw a kangaroo, Neon who had a sad expression on his face, a deformed pony, who might’ve had AIDS, applejack, and a midget pony. Ok, so let me explain here.

The kangaroo was Arrell. That explains a lot, but of course, no one else got it. If you remember in chapter 3, I said he had an Australian voice accident. Therefore, yea, we had a fucking kangaroo, which possiably could box.

The deformed pony was Jack. I think the flowers are starting to have a sick mind for jokes.

As for applejack, it wasn’t applejack. It was Mac. Mac did say it was somewhat of his nightmare. It did make sense for him, because he and applejack aren’t quite on good terms for being cousins and all.

As for the midget, that was shadow. I think the flowers didn’t think he was small enough as it is, so they made him a midget.

As for Neon, well, he cried and said he couldn’t break the laws of physics. Really, that’s supposed to be a joke. That’s normal. Well, Neon cries, because he couldn’t do jackshit anymore.

So apparently, everypony knew what he could, but didn’t find it awkward. I just give up on Neon and Pinkie. Neon also said he couldn’t harvest the organs. We all looked at him as if he was an insane and just looked at us back. He said, “You try not doing random things.”

I don’t know if Neon is self aware anymore about his flaws and….. You know what. I just fucking give up.

Therefore, what happened was everypony blamed Zecroa, and were going to set her on fire for doing this. That or beat the living shit out of her.

Of course, I could’ve stopped it, but the universe stopped my magic. I mean, whatever spells that I do, it always shows those two little illegal Asian fireworks.

Well, it was still early in the morning, and not everypony was outside, we the guys just went after Zecroa. All right, and shadow went to find Zecroa, and Wolf made fun of us.

Let’s see, he came up with kangaroo Arrell, jacked up Jack, regular Neon, bitch Mac, Shadow midget, Forest ice, and as for me, it was fucker. Great job their Wolf. You’re a fucking dumbass.

I tried to think of a name for Wolf, but all I can come up with was sick Wolf. You want to know why he’s sick. He likes being molested; he has good dreams of that moment with Derpy, he’s a fucking troll, and wants to fuck a pony. Yes, that’s right.

Don’t remember?

Remember back in chapter 3 how I said he wanted to fuck a fucking pony. Yea, I didn’t forget that. How could I forget it? He said it in my face in the weirdest of all ways, by humping the air.

Well, the guys went after the black guy pony, while me and Wolf took out time to get to Zecroa. Well, we eventually got there, and what I saw was Neon have a match.

I knew we should’ve had that intervention soon.

Well, all I did was grabbed one Of Zecroa chairs, and knocked out Neon. Yea, he was bleeding a little bit.

The guys let Zecroa go. Oh, right. I forgot to mention that the guys tied her up in a chair. I’ll admit, they were going a little too far with this one.

I just decided to say fuck it and explain to them that Zecroa wasn’t evil. I explained everything to them about how the mane six knew them and she wasn’t all that bad.

Of course, Zecroa had a look on her face, and asked me how I knew the mane six. I didn’t feel like explaining it, so I made Wolf handle that part, while I smoked weed. Yea, I had some weed with me.

Also, midget Shadow walked into the room, with a few items, and asked why was Zecroa was tied down, why was she was covered in gasoline(I’m surprised these ponies know what that is. Then again, they do use it for floats and shit.), and why was Neon bleeding.

Mac bitch just said he would tell him when he’s older. That’s strange. Maybe he already told him what sex was. I did asked him and he said he somewhat knew of it and was a little bit afraid of it, since he had a well-described description of it when he was told.

He was also told by Mac.

Yea, if Mac ever got married and had kids, he would be unfit to be a husband and a father.

Well, we eventually calmed down, explained ourselves, and said we were sorry. She also offered us the cure for the flowers, which we did except. I also asked why was she was in Stalia and apparently, one of us took something from her. It was an African mask.

Apparently, it was when Mac, Jack, and I had that hangover. Apparently, Jack didn’t notice the fucking scary mask over his bed.

Therefore, we gave it back and we took the cure. We also went to the local spa to do it and we are all better. Mac, jack and I also asked if she knew anything about our hangover.

She said she knew, but we had to come back the next day, since she had a place to clean up.

Oh right and for you Neon fans out there, I put Neon in a comma for 3 days. He eventually was cured from the flowers, but he was a little pissed off, but calmed down, and we were still friends.

Now, all I had was a Hangover Adventure.

yea, this was a short chapter, but in the last sentence, i give a little hint at what next weeks chapter is going to be. its quite obvious, and i was surprisingly releasing the chapter on a right on time date for it, but trust me, next week is going to be long anf fun. its going to take me a while to edit it, but its going to be an awesome chapter next week. also, if you havn';t read my lastest blog yet, please do and leave a comment on it. its sort of intersting since it has something to do with UM. also, if you have read it, i have said season 1 finalie for this fanfic. what i mean by that is, there will be 26 chapters per season, much like the show, and in between seasons, there will be a break. don't know how long, but a break and a chance to work on the other seasons. so far, i have 11 seasons planned so far. so yea, enjoy. :)

Chapter 15: A Hangover Adventure

It was morning, and it was the day after the events of episode 9. All I thought was just to wait for episode 10.

Well, I got out of bed, and I tested out my magic and there were no illegal Asian fireworks this time.

I got and went to smoke my morning weed and shit. I also got breakfast, which were pancakes from Applejack’s who made it for me. I also saw a box of muffins, and all it did was bring back memories we will never speak of. I just stared at it, as if it has taken my innocence.

Well, of course this is completely boring and you want some shit to happen. Well, I woke up; Wolf was somewhere to be found. I mean, no windows were broken, so he didn’t get high in the middle of the night. No empty beer bottles lying outside, that leads to Wolf on a park bench. There was no dead bodies or an unborn fetus.

Speaking of the unborn fetus, not too long ago, there was a newspaper article about 8 ponies missing in the woods. Not the Everfree one, but the local and safe one. The article said that the only evidence they have for the kidnapped kids were a strange birthing liquid. Alternatively, after birth liquid I guess. Yes. The unborn fetus is this universe Slenderman.

I wonder if this universe had any computers, there would be an unborn fetus game, like slender. That would be kind of cool and funny at the same time.

Well, as I said, I couldn’t find Wolf anywhere. In fact, he didn’t even go to bed the night before, because usually Wolf’s bed is filled with beer bottles and cocaine and shit. yea, Wolf did crack sometimes.

Well, I then heard a knock on my door, hoping it was Wolf coming back from burying a dead body. Well, it wasn’t. It was Forest, who came to get me to go to the hospital.

If you recall me knocking my friend out Neon, yea, he was in the hospital and shit. We all decided to go visit him, since he was in a comma after all.

Well, Forest and I walked to the hospital. As we were walking, I noticed some business had broken windows, and unbelievably, a fresh dead body showed up, but no pony gave a flaming fuck about it.

Well, we then got to the hospital, and there were some strange few injuries as we went to the floor where we needed to go. When we got to Neon’s room, all of my friends were sitting in chairs and talking to the doctor.

My friends didn’t really hate me for putting Neon into a comma. In fact, they really don’t give a fuck.

Well, Arrell talked to the doctor, and the doctor said he didn’t know when Neon would wake up. He also said he had to do surgery on him since when I knocked him out, he did bleed a little. Well, it wasn’t a little bleed, it was… know what? It was a shit load of blood that he lost. Thankfully, though, they gave him a blood transplant, and his brain should be fine. Now only if they could make sure Neon doesn’t break the laws of physics again, that would be nice. In fact, he actually did at one point, but gained it back. I’ll tell that story for another time. However, for now, let’s continue.

After the doctor left, we just sat and talked for a while. Then Jack told me and Mac we had to go. Yea, if you recall, Zecroa would tell us what happened to us when we were reified by Wolf.

We all walked out of the room and headed on outside. When we left the building, I felt a strange presence, that somepony was following us. I told this to Mac, and he said, “Don’t worry about it. Its possibly just AIDS” now, I have no comment on this. I mean, just fuck it.

We walked through the Everfree and eventually found Zecroas hut. Along with the strange presence, I might add. We entered Zecroas hut, to find Twilight here by surprise.

Applejack was also there too, and Mac had high blood pressure. You could tell, because he was spraying blood everywhere. I’m not fucking kidding you, his blood vessels popped, and was spraying out of his fur or coat or whatever the fuck you want to call it. He loosed so much blood, Applejack just ran out. Thank god, black guy ponies have magic shit to help fix Macs disabilities and all.

In addition, as Twilight was walking out to go with her friend Applejack, she was staring at me, while having rosy cheeks.

Well, like I said before, she did have a crush on me, and I found that to be fucking weird as shit. Well, Jack also noticed this, and he asked me if we had something going on. As I said before, I didn’t at the time she had a crush on me, but later on I found out.

Well, we decided to skip that part, and move on with Zecroa. She told us to take a seat, so we did. She had a long introduction of to what we did when we had a hangover and all.

Well, when she was about to tell us what had happened. Three ponies knocked down Zecroa’s door, and started to fire spells at us.

I then did the smart thing, and not what black guys would do. I threw the table down on the ground, so it would act as a barrier for us. Now, what black people would do, would grab out a glock, and start shooting up the place.

Surprisingly, yea, it happened with Zecroa. She grabbed out a special portion, put into something, and started to fire back. Man. I’m just making fun of these things and I’m getting these right.

Well, I then rolled my eyes when I saw this, so I just broke down one of Zecroa’s walls and left Zecroa. What? If you think that’s racist of me, then whoever you are you have a problem of thinking everything is racists.

I mean, you must think an apple is racist to gingers or to Lauren Faust. How would that offend someone, I wouldn’t know, but those stupid people who… whatever. You get the fucking point now. Besides, what do you want people?

What!? You want everything to be black and white? Well then that would offend Asians, whites, and black people.

Therefore, in the words of the Angry Video Game Nerd, happy shut the fuck up. Even though that has nothing to do right now, let’s move on.

Ok, so I grabbed Zecroa and took her back to Ponyville while Jack, Mac, and me took care of the ponies that were trying to kill us. Unfortunately, Zecroa was shot in the leg, so we just sat her by some trees and shit. However, of course, I wanted to have some fun with this so I put her by a tree that looked like an African tree, that possibly had AIDS.

What? Well it’s true. Africa is a continent that’s made up of AIDS. There’s no way of escaping the truth, so just take the truth and move on with life.

After we did that, we went to fight off the ponies that were attacking. Now, of course, I didn’t expect to kill anypony, which we didn’t so, I have no idea why I said that.

However, guess what, Slenderfetus came to save the day. That’s right folks. Slender etus or the unborn fetus killed the ponies and took the dead bodies back to its lair. We just don’t question it, ok.

Therefore, after the Slenderfetus came to save us, well, we took Zecroa back to Ponyville so she could get medical treatment and shit. Moreover, when I mean by that, we just dragged her Zebra ass along the ground, even though she tried to resist and all and we dropped her off 5 miles from Ponyville, and gave her a few bits for her troubles. Yea, we were good ponies that day.

From what I’ve heard, she crawled on the ground until she was founded by some timber wolves, who then dragged her to their den, raped her, and dropped her off in the middle of town, which by the fucking way, the ponies noticed, and almost panicked. Therefore, Ponyville is the town that makes sense, while Stalia is the town that makes no sense.

I guess the two towns or the tale of two towns. I just ruined a Charles Dickens joke, didn’t I? Well, whatever. I mean, Twilight did find her, and brought her to the hospital, which they couldn’t take her, because they were treating too many ponies who had fainted, who was also possibly in a comma like Neon was.

Although I knocked him out with a wooden chair. However, from what I’ve heard, when the town was panicking, ponies were going insane, and whacking each other’s heads. I feel like that part should’ve been included in the Ponyville tourism video I remember from YouTube.

Well, what happened next was we figured the ponies had to do something with what happened during our hangover. That or it was the mob trying to whack us. Alternatively, possibly the griffin guy who somehow came back, and decided he wanted revenge on me, or though the chances of that were likely.

To tell you the truth, that acutely did happen, well short of.

Therefore, we all went back to our homes, to search our homes to see if there was any evidence of what had happen. Now, I was the only one that search, technically.

Mac did jack shit or in other words, apple shit. While Jack, well, he did search, but for only about 30 minutes, gave up, and went to bed. With Mac, well, he just did apple shit like I said, but he just got drunk, took a shit, complained about applejack, and passed out. For me, I actually did search, for about two or three hours. I searched everywhere, but still nothing.

Well, I then decided to go take a nap, and wait for day two and all. In addition, this has nothing to do with anything at all, but I dreamed of a memory like dream.

Now, it wasn’t my memory, and in fact, I know what it is, but you guys will have to wait for that explanation later. Now, what I dreamed about is this, that I was in a castle, or kingdom like building, and I saw Lauren Faust’s pony or what she would look like if she were a pony.

Now, of course, I know what this.. Ok, I’m pretty sure by now, that there’s going to be a reveal for this explanation in the future. I’m just trying to build some build up to it. Kind of like in the legend of Zelda game, the original one.

You know, how the game always talked about Gannon, but you didn’t know what he looked like. I’m mean, you knew you were going to have to fight him off in the end of the game, but before the fight even happened, it was a mystery of what Gannon looked like.

So, in other words, I’m just trying to surprise you guys, however, will I try to tell you now. Fuck no! I just want to make you guys have a look on your face when you get to the part what I’m talking about , even though I won’t see it, since I’m in the MLP universe and all, but still. Trust me; it is quite interesting if you ask me.

So, continuing with the dream, actually, well, without spoiling the truth, so fuck you, that’s all you get. A kingdom with Laruen Faust’s pony. Try to guess and figure what I’m talking about. If you get it, then good for you, it’s just that you won’t be surprised when I reveal it to you. In fact, I’m just going to help you out a bit, and remind you of what the pony looked like. So here, it is folks.

yea, as for the kingdom part, I don’t know what to tell you about that. I mean, I guess it all depends on your point of view is or picture of a kingdom.

I mean there’s like a classic British people or in other words, wizards. Medieval kingdoms. Magical land or fairy tales kingdoms.

In addition, if you want to be a religious person, there’s the gods kingdom and shit. you know, be on the clouds, saying fuck you to your friends and family members because they’re in hell, holding up a middle finger in the air facing the ground, saying fuck you dad, you piece of shit. Then getting like drunk with other angels, like Andy Griffith, Don Knots, Neil Armstrong, Bob Hope, John Wayne and Walt Disney.

No wait, John Wayne and Walt Diseny are in hell. I completely for got about Walt Disney hating the Jews. Speaking of Jews, I did make some nice and possibly offensive Jewish jokes back on earth.

As for now, I’ll give you one, but if there’s any opportunity for one later, I’ll do it. So, basically this is it.

When you’re American, you can do whatever the fuck you want. You can say fuck you to the Muslims and take a shit on the Eiffel tower, and no one will give a fuck, along as you’re not a Jew.

Yea, I have better ones then that, but you had to use it in the right moment or it wouldn’t work, but at least you got one, right? What am I doing here, I’m just getting off track aren’t I.

Ok then, let’s move on. Therefore, I then woke up, and the place was still a wreck. Yea, forgot to tell you. After the day of Zecroa and shit, the place still wasn’t cleaned up.

Anyway, I was still tried, and wanted to go back to sleep, but I heard a noise in the kitchen, so I decided to go check it out. When I went to where the noise came from, well, I found a tiger.

Yea, I forgot to tell you, when I woke up the morning and found out Wolf reified me, well, there was a tiger. I just wondered why I didn’t get rid of it. The tiger was digging through the pantry. I just shrugged it off and went back to bed, as if it was normal. I mean, what is normal anymore. Besides, he’ll be the new Wolf till I get the old one back. Although, when Wolf came back, I still kept the tiger. I have no idea where the tiger came from, but he was awesome. In fact, I kept him as a pet.

Sure, I was possibly still had to get an owl as a pet, like what Twilight did, but this way, I can have two pets. A tiger and a bird. Nice.

Well, I then went back to my bed, and was trying to go back to sleep. However, I just couldn’t. I kept thinking about the dream that I had. I mean, sure I know what it means now, but back then, it kept me thinking questions.

Did the dream mean anything? Was it foretelling a future or was It fake?

Now, we’re going to get science shit here. Therefore, the thing with dreams is that your brain is at rest when you’re sleeping. This is the time when your brain is basically organizing things around in your brain, trying to make sure nothing goes wrong with you. However, while this is happening, your brain seems to also have this weird shit happening also, or like fake simulators, which are your dreams.

Now, I know I put this in a shitty, way, so, basically, I’m going to let Vsauce handle this. Vsauce!?

Well, I kept asking these questions, because sometimes, dreams can mean something. Like I remember this one story, where this guy was trying to think of something to help with shit, and he dreamed something that helped. I know, I’m just describing things with shit, I know. I’m just a little high right now, that’s all.

So, moving on. I kept staring at my ceiling, trying to make sense of this, but couldn’t figure it out. Now, strange thing is, that I also had these dreams back on earth, but it was more a blur to me, but ever sense I got here, I dream that I had of this grew stronger, as if the connection or single of this dream is pointing here.

Interesting. Something to think about for trying to figure out what the dram meant. Ok, so, I decided to put the thought aside, and looked at Wolf’s bed. I saw all the empty beer bottles and cocaine he had left.

I was really missing him, since we’ve been buddies for years. I mean, even Molestia was sad. She came to my room last night, looking to molest Wolf, when I told her that Wolf wasn’t here right now. Therefore, what did she did do, she molested me instead.

Son of a bitch.

I had to fill in for Wolf while he was gone. Now, only if I knew about the tiger, I could’ve told her that the tiger is the new Wolf. Maybe she would’ve done it. I mean, then again, maybe the pinkie pie from the.MOV series would’ve done it has well. I mean that pinkie pie did fuck a snail, gave big Mac a blowjob, and was drinking vodka and shit. Then again I drink like three to five tequila bottles a day.

Well, I looked down, and saw a piece of paper under Wolf’s covers. I took the piece of paper, and read it. Guess fucking what, it was a ransom note. Well, since this is like the hangover movie, at least we know where Wolf is.

Apparently, he’s with a mob boss called the black pony. Maybe he’s a black guy pony as well or in other words, a fucking Zebra. Perhaps, or maybe it’s Hitler. What a Twist!

Did that M. Night joke made you laugh? Yea, I know these jokes are starting to get old and all, but you have to admit, that M. Night is quite a strange Muslim for American movies and all.

Well, I quickly then got out of bed, and went straight outside. I was running towards Jack’s place, but I found them walking towards me. I then showed them the paper I found, and they didn’t know what to do.

Then Mac came up with an idea. He said he had known somepony that could help us with this ransom. We then followed Mac to a more shitty part of town of Stalia. It was a like a hood, but there was no black guy ponies around.

Yea, I’m cracking these black guy jokes almost frequently. Love’em or hate’em they’re here to stay.

Mac eventually led us to the place. It’s like that house from Project X, where it’s that gnome guy’s house. We knocked on the door, and we heard some yelling, then a scream. Then we saw blood flowing underneath our hooves. Then the door opened, and there was a stallion that looked like a doucebag.

Not doucebag doucebag like the doucebag that I know, but a regular doucebag. I am saying doucebag a lot aren’t I?

Well, he also didn’t shave, so it looked like he had an after shave or a rugged shave look. He also had a robe on, and offered us to come in.

He then told us to take a seat, and we saw the dead body. He said don’t mind the dead body, he told he’ll call the exterminator soon. Right, moving on.

He offered us some weed, which I gladly took, but what I got was shit weed. Litterly. It was weed that had been in shit.
Mother fucker.

We then asked him to help us look for the black pony, but he said he had to check his schedule. That was odd to me, because I didn’t know doucebags had a fucking schedule.

I have to study the species some more, like I did with the Asian midget back on earth. I also had a scientific name for it, but I’m not going t say it, because the punch line of the joke is just horrible. Ok, its asineria midgetria. I know, the joke isn’t that funny.

Although sometimes I work on it. Anyways while the pony that looked like a doucebag was checking his shit, Mac took his fucking gnome. Apparently, he told me that what we came for, which I just, I just give up with these guys.

Well, anyway, Mac told me to turn the gnome invisible with a spell, which I have no idea he knew I have an invisible spell.

How does he know, is beyond me. I mean, it’s in my spell book that I made, which is locked up. I don’t know, maybe he’s being a racist.

Now that I think about, maybe I’m the racist, because I’ve been making these jokes and shit. Then again, everybody is a little racist sometimes. Well, I then quickly did the spell, and as I did so, the pony came back. He said he was busy, and he had to go to the dojo at five.

Apparently, there’s Asians in My Little Pony. Therefore, I’m guessing there’s a country called Japony, like Japan. I know that joke wasn’t that great, but I’ll work on it. Speaking of Japony, never mind, you’ll see in the future of what I mean by this.

Therefore, we got out of his house, and we headed back to my place. we all sat down in the living room, and grabbed a beer for all of us, but for Mac, he busted the gnome open, and grabbed what appear to be that drug that was used in Project X.

I don’t remember what it’s called, but it was something that made you go crazy and shit. Therefore, yea, but he didn’t take any of it. It looks like he was planning something for it.

Well, we all took one beer, and we just sat there to drink. After that happened, I decided to check out Macs house, since he didn’t check it and all.

Therefore, as we got to his house, the mail guy was there, possibly giving out AIDS that he has in the envelopes. I never trusted that mail guy. He gave an envelope to Mac, which was a hospital bill.

We all looked at each other, and headed straight over there. I mean, it was a clue to what could’ve happened to us and all. We eventually got there, and found the doctor. His name was DR. Wings.

For some reason, I can’t but feel that could be a TV drama for middle age women who has a lonely life and are constantly annoying.

Well, he was with an old guy, and he told us to come in. He had locked the door, and I was afraid he was going to rape us. However, that wasn’t it. Apparently, he was talking to the old pony, and said he only had one day to live. Of course, the old geezer was shocked as fuck, and the doctor responded with, “I know. This is the toughest part of the job of being a doctor.”
He then grabbed a pillow, and smothered him until the old guy died. He kept saying don’t fight it and eventually said, “that’s right. Nice and easy. Nighty night mother fucker.”

Yea, this town was a little dark sometimes. Apparently, he had said the old stallion had given him AIDS somehow. That and he does that sometimes, but whatever. I mean, I litterly had given up on this town, so frankly, I don’t give a dam anymore.

Therefore, we then asked him about what had happened to us, and he said he had nothing to say, but we are some ponies that could party. Well, I mean, I usually party Project X style and sometimes with class, but that’s just me.

He did give us something to go by though, that Jack had gotten married to a bitch that had a Zebra disease called Zebrica. Apparently, it’s like AIDS for black guy ponies. Are these AIDS jokes working for you?

He also said Jack had a stepchild, which was at the hospital. He then given us the child and the name of the child was dinky. It was a colt, but apparently, the mother named a boy a girl’s name. I hate to see that bitch.

Well, we did. We had to get the kid to talk to where she lived, because for some reason, he was a little fucker. We eventually got to where the mother lived at, and it was in the hood again.

I was just afraid that the guy we stole the gnome from was going to come back and kill us for stealing his gnome, like that gnome guy from Project X.

The mother lived in a apartment place, and she was walking back and forth, but only because she was worried where the fuck we were at. In addition, I’m surprised she was still doing this, or that the child was kept at the hospital for three days, because the hangover happened three days ago.

In addition, the time was about when Celestia’s sun was setting.

When the bitch of a mom saw us, she quickly was relieved and relieved herself. I’m not going to go into extreme detail, but it reminds of those Molestia tumbler updates. It was, quite interesting. I’m also horrified by it and still have nightmares about it to this very day.

That and I also have plenty of other nightmares. Some are the Derpy moment if you recall and some are personal. We were invited in, and we talked.

The bitch talked and talked about how Jack and her will be so happy as a couple and how they will be so great as a family together and they will never will be divorce or have any problems. Well, as she was talking, I looked at Jacks face, and he looked horrified, as if he was about to die.

The bitch was at the sink, cleaning some dishes and shit. Why did I say this? Well, Jack got up quietly, without saying a word, walked over to the bitch, and shoved her head into the kitchen sink and ending up killing her.

Mac and I looked at Jack, and he said, “I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t live with this bitch. I mean, I know I just killed somepony, and I might just end up in purgatory, although, along as you guys see me as a good pony in my lifetime, then I’ll be good. Also, don’t worry about the kid, I’ve got it covered.”

What he meant by the heaven thing, was that the rules of getting into heaven was a lot simpler then the Christianity religion. All you have to do to get into pony heaven was to be a good pony. That’s it.

Now, if you killed somepony, but were still seen as a good pony to others, then you’ll still be able to get into pony heaven.
Yea, trust me. It makes very little sense, but at least it’s a lot simpler to understand to get into heaven in this universe.

Other universes I remember, required to rape a donkey, while shoving balloons up your asshole, while juggling fireballs. I’m not kidding you. I’ve been to a universe that had that rule for getting into heaven.

In addition, what Jack did to the kid, well, he didn’t kill him for one thing, but if he did, he would’ve had serious blood on his hooves. I mean, even killing a child for me is going too far.

Well, unless they’re like one of those children, who are bad, to say like they killed somebody or just a mother fucker, whose like a stealer and shit. I mean, I recall a few instances when that happened back on earth.

What Jack did was put him in a box, sealed it up, with some air holes of course, and shipped it off to one of his cousins in Manehatten. I do wonder though, what did happen?

IN MANEHATTEN…..

The child was still in the box he was shipped that was in the kitchen, and had very little food.

He then said, “Hello!? Can anypony hear me!? I haven’t eaten in three days! I have to go to the bathroom! I had to drink my pee and eat my own poop since I’ve been in this box!!”

Then, the cousin yelled, “Will you shut the fuck up!! Dam it!! I’m trying to get some sleep in here!! Why did my fucking ass of a fucking cousin have to send me his Retarded Stepchild!? That fucking basturd!”

BACK IN STALIA

I guess that kid is alright. Well, we then headed back to my place, but on our way there, we decided to go to Ponyville, and get help from Twilight. Just to let you know, by this time, Luna’s moon was already high in the sky.

Since I just wrote that, now I’m wondering if the moon was ever alive, and had a face, when it smoked weed, the moon would rise in the sky, while the sun gets mellow on some” Brownies” that has some drugs in it. Why am I thinking about this and writing it down. Then again, I do smoke weed a lot.

Whatever, so we were walking through the town of Ponyville, late at night. We were close to Twilights house, when suddenly, the gnome pony comes back.

However, he got our attention, from casting a spell, which by the way, he was a unicorn. Well, he casted a spell that was a flamethrower spell. Macs ass was on fucking fire, although, it was put sot somehow.

I don’t know what, but I’m guessing it was the universe and how the universe wants me to continue my destiny. What I mean by that is,when I ever say the universe is doing this, it’s somehow my destiny to be in this universe. I mean, think about it. I’m part of a set of elements shit. How does that not make you think I wasn’t supposed to be here in this universe. There was a reason why I was an Alicorn before.

Anyway, the pony said very loud, constantly, “Give me back my fucking Gnome!!!” reminds me of Project X, no?

We then ran away and tried to take cover. Also, while we were running I told Mac, “Why the fuck did you have to take his fucking Gnome!? Huh?! Why couldn’t you just do crack like Arrell?”

we eventually found a place opened, which was I believe to be the spa somehow. We quickly ran inside, and found photo finish. She was packing her camera away, when we ran up to her and asked for help.

She said sure, which we thought she would hide us and tell the gnome guy to go away and we’re not here. I don’t how it would work, but it was the best chance we had of surviving. Well, I was dead fucking wrong.

The next thing that happened, was photo finish’s skin peeled back unfolded. What revealed itself, was a xenomorphic from the Alien movie Franchise. I’m not fucking kidding.

It’s the alien from “Aliens” well, we were fucked, although Mac and Jack just look confused and had the ‘what the fuck’ look their faces. The alien soon had its second mouth, ready to pierce through our heads.

I was then next expecting that bitch from Aliens, where she would be in that robotic suit of hers, saying, “get away from them you bitch!” what? There was already an alien from aliens. Might as well just add more weird shit right now.

Well, it wasn’t the bitch from aliens, but was the gnome guy. All he said was again “Give me back my fucking gnome.”

The alien saw this, and went straight for him, well, the gnome guy pulled out a weapon that looked like it belonged in star trek, and fought to the death with the alien. While this was happening, we hid in the closet.

When we were in there, we found the dead body of Photo Finish. Jack looked at it, and picked it up. Apparently, he wanted to give a proper burial.

Not that he liked her, but these ponies had similar human emotions, where we have feeling for one another, when we’re hurt, we humans tend to help each other out. These ponies did the same, but did it more often than humans did.

Well, we then slowly opened the closet door, and we saw the alien still fighting with the other pony. We used this to our advantage, and escaped through a window. Well, not necessarily escape, but break the fucking window and run like hell.

We didn’t know what to do next, so we did the only most sensible thing. Go to Rarities’ house.

We knocked on the door, she yelled, questioning why someone would wake her up this late at night, and when she opened the door, she asked, “Is that Photo Finish’s body?” then she fainted, which we pulled her body inside her house and locked it.

We then sat down and tried to figure what to do next. Well, I did, while Mac and Jack just stared at the dead body. I just rolled my eyes, and did a come to life spell or regeneration spell you might put it.

It’s a spell that brings dead things back to life. As I said many times before, I write my own magic very easily. I just don’t use it, because I stick to the rules of death.

Well, Mac and Jack were shocked that I could do this type of spell, but I explained to them what I just recently explained to you people. We then all got up, put Rarity in her bed, so she’ll think what she saw was all a dream and shit.

Now, weird comment here, but I somehow wish Freddy kukaur was here, so she’ll defiantly knew it was a dream, then again, that could’ve been arranged. No really, it could. I can just quickly find a Nightmare on Elm Street universe and get Freddy to come over and make sure she’ll believe it’s a dream.

How would I do that? Well, I would pay him, but I’m just going off from Family guy here, so I guess I would force him too.

How? Well, haven’t you seen Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Dream Warriors? Where the kids fight back by fighting Freddy in their dreams.

Well, anyway, we headed back to my place to have another beer and shit. Also, we took photo’s body, and put it in the middle of Stalia’s streets. Yea, she wasn’t awake when I used the spell, because the thing us, with the spell, the dead thing will still be alive, but it knocks out whatever you casted the spell on.

So anyway, we headed back to my place, and when we got back, we heard a noise coming from somewhere. We looked all around and eventually found out it was coming from a trunk. When I found about this noise, I was shocked this place had a trunk. I mean, you just don’t use those anymore. Then again. This is like the renaissance and shit.

We opened it, hoping Wolf would be there, but unfortunately, it was a random pony who jumped on us and started to hit us with a blunt lead pipe. He eventually took all of us down and ran away.

By the way, later in time, we find that the pony that attacked our asses was a pony called poker. Well, this is MLP, so you can’t really complain can you.

We decided that we had enough of this shit, and went to the bar. Yea, the bar was an all night bar, but of course, the only ponies in there were drunks and ponies that wanted to commit suicide. That and pedophiles and rapists.

In fact, while I was there, I made friends with a rapist. We had good conversation, although, he tried to keep going to the conversation about raping. As for the pedophiles, they talked as if they had problems. Scary problems. So we made sure to stay ten feet away from them at all times.

But I got bored so I just shot them in the head for target practice, while the bar tender didn’t give a flaming fuck. Apparently he’s seen enough weird shit at night, he passes it as normal. We stayed there until dawn, which we were about to leave when poker came back with few of his stallions.

His stallions pinned us down with their magic, while poker told us he had Wolf. He told us we could have him, if we gave him the 80,000 bits we stole from him, which apparently, we stole from him the night we had the hangover.

Of course, you must be saying, ‘but didn’t the black pony had wolf?’ well, maybe he was the black pony, and maybe he was getting pissed off since we hadn’t exchanged the ransom. By the way, the ransom note said the we could have wolf back if we exchanged it for poker, which we didn’t even knew the pony who’d we stolen 80,000 bits from was poker.

We found that out later. His stallions then let us go and told us the time and place to be for the exchange. We then sat there, pondering in our heads of what to do. Jack said there was no way we could get eighty thousand bits within a limited amount of time. Besides, there was no way we could get eighty thousand bits in this area of Equestria.

Well, lucky for me, when I found the universes and all, I figured out a way to count cards and shit. Also, remember how good my teleportation spell is? In addition, for those Bronies out there, you recall a city in MLP called Las Pegasus.

Saying, we went to Las Pegasus, and I counted cards, got over eighty thousand bits, and left to exchange it for Wolf. The place that we had to go and meet was near the edge of the Everfree. Makes sense.

I mean, if drugs were illegal here and there were drug dealers, I’m guessing that how they would do their transactions. We then gave poker the money first and he gave us Wolf.

They uncovered the bag over Wolf’s head, which by the way, I know I’m leaving many details out, but he bagged Wolf’s head like in the hangover how that Asian guy bagged black Doug’s head. Well, it wasn’t Wolf, but black Wolf.

Of fucking course, just like in the Hangover. How could you tell this was black Wolf, he had a black guy voice. How did this timber wolf talk? Apparently, he was the only natural talking timber wolf, which was basically a one in a million chance of a mutation happening to the animals of the Everfree.

Of course, poker said in an Asian accent that of course he was Wolf, and then left us with black Wolf. We then took black Wolf along with us, since we did pay eighty thousand bits for him.

That and he was far from home, so I just thought I he could tag along and be the new Wolf until we got the old wolf back if Wolf was somehow to do, well, at least I could have a cheap sitcom about a white pony and a black wolf, going on crazy adventures. I could just imagine it. I can just think of the theme song right now.

He was a white pony.
He was a black wolf.
So one day, they met in a racist bar.
They joked around
And became best friends.
Now they are a white guy and black guy
Going on crazy adventures, diving through the deep blue
Going into space,
Smoking weed,
And drinking beer and getting drunk.
They are the white guy and black guy
The best of best friends.
And one of them is a white guy
And a black,
So this makes it special for the audience

Well, I didn’t say I was the best at writing lyrics. If you recall chapter 3, this is why I didn’t put down the lyrics for that song me and Wolf sang. Anyway, we were at my place, stumped. We didn’t know what to do, until Mac brought up that Neon knew who the black pony was.

Yes, apparently, Neon did some business with him before in his past. So, Jack and I both yelled at Mac, asking why didn’t he tell us this before. We then quickly headed to the hospital and dumped black Wolf along at Arrells house.

I also told Arrell, just to be sure, if we fail to find wolf, I’ll still have the white guy and black guy thing still going on. We quickly ran through the hospital, and went into Neon’s room.

Forest was the only one still there, while Arrell went to the bar. Forest woke up, and asked what the fuck we were doing. We ignored him, and I tried to wake Neon up.

Well, he woke up, but with anger. He grabbed my neck with his hoof, and looked straight dead into my eyes as if he was taking my soul. Funny thing is, since Neon broke laws of physics and shit, he did take ponies souls in the past.

He talked to me in a venom voice and threw me against the wall. He then told me to apologize to him, which I did, because I don’t think it’s a smart move to piss off a god like being. He then was satisfied, and went back to his weird ways, even though he just got out of a comma.

Jack then asked him if he could take us to the black pony’s lair, and he said yes. We were then teleported there, along with him. We were then luckily in the room Wolf was in, took him, and Neon teleported us back.

Of course, the black pony would get our ass for this, but that wouldn’t be till much later in the future. We then thanked Neon for helping us and he said we were welcomed and disappeared into a random pony’s house.

Apparently, the random pony saw him, and Neon just shut him up, and said, “shhhhhhhh. Not a word.”

That just creeps me the fuck out every time I think of it. In addition, if you’re wondering how Neon got his powers back, if you recall in the last chapter where his powers were taken away from him. Yea, I still don’t know how. It just came back at complete random.

Anyway, I brought Wolf back with me to my place, and Jack and Mac felt like celebrating with a few beers, so they were going to come over to my place after they go do something back at home. I brought Wolf back, and he asked me why the fuck was the tiger still there?

I then told him that he was the temporary Wolf till he got back. I also told him we were keeping him as a pet. He then agreed to it, and asked why another timber wolf was here. He had a good sense of smell. I then told him there was another talking timber wolf like him, but he was black.

Wolf then snickered at the thought of him being black. He was fucked up sometimes. In addition, I told Arrell he could let go of black Wolf, after he asked me where did a black talking wolf came from. In addition, I wondered what happened to Photo, because when we came back from getting Wolf, she wasn’t there anymore.

Earlier that day…….

Photo woke up with a little bit of a headache. She slowly got up, and looked at her surroundings, wondering where the fuck she was at.

She then saw somepony, and said, “Who are you!? You are perfect! You are my new star of my new lines of fashion! You will become my new star!”

she said all of that in a Nazi German voice. She was talking to one of the dead bodies that were lying around the town of Stalia.

Photo grabbed and picked up the dead body, and hugged it, saying how she has finally found what she had been looking for. She then raped the dead body as she does with all of her clients, and worked with the dead body.

The dead body is one of Equestrians’ most famous fashion star to this date and the town of Stalia has recognized one of its citizens for being famous, and now has a day dedicated to the dead body. The dead body is now currently on tour, showing off its latest fashion design.

Photo also got AIDS from the dead body after she had raped it, and still is doing fine with the AIDS, as all Germans do since all Germans have AIDS.

BACK IN STALIA……

Sometimes I don’t try to think about what happened to her. Along as no one come questioning if I had to do something with her disappearance, it’s all fine. Besides, I always knew she was an alien from alien.

If you don’ t get what I’m saying , here’s the thing. If you recall the picture perfect pony song, I mean, who hasn’t at this point, right? Well, in the video, she said you will go to the stars, where no one can hear you scream. Now that’s the slogan for the first alien movie. Now that, just says it all for me.

In addition, to let you know, that during this adventure, Mac said we were like a pack of friends. A wolf pack. Yea, that had to come. I mean, this is ripping off from the Hangover a little but whatever.

In addition, if you’re wondering what the fuck happened to the alien and the gnome guy, they died by killing each other, but eventually comes back somehow. Well, anyway, Jack and Mac came over to celebrate and shit.

In addition, Jack brought along a photo album, since somehow it came in the mail not too long ago. Apparently, it’s the photos we took when we had our hangover. We all agreed we wouldn’t share the photos with anyone and never look at it again.

We all looked at it, and it was more fucked up then the photos then the Hangover movies. I would show it here, but I don’t have them. But trust me, they were messed up.

However, I guess I have to give you something Hangoverish, so I’ll just give you the music from the end credits’ of the song.

*note: that i put the ending song music there because i inmagined if this was actully animated, it would have those songs at the end, along with the pictures. also, the first video is only for the music, the picture, i just did that bideo for you guys, i guess.so you can choose which ending song you would want to be at the end of this chapter or episode. whatever you want to call it.*

this ain't over. this is only the merely beginning for the pony wolfpack

Also, i might put up four chapters this weekend. i just have to edit them, but only because its summer and i feel like i want to do it for you guys. i9 mean, you guys do deserve the best, thats why there two Fausticorn pictures instead of one and theres a moving, one, because you guys stuck by me instead of dislikeing the story. and for that, i thank you.

Chapter16: A Swarm of AIDS

Well, I’m sure you all enjoyed my tale of the hangover.

The thing is, this canon part of my story actually didn’t happen right after the hangover part. In fact, it happened after 3 days.

I believe the universe was giving me a break for once. Well, at least it wasn’t being a dick this time around, by the way, this time around, it returned to being a dick. So where shall I begin.

Well, Arrell was near the edge of the Everfree. Not to collect flowers for Celestia’s visit. No. he was there to breed the animals, because at a town meeting, the town voted for Arrell to breed his animals outside of the town’s limits.

I mean, he was breeding the animals in front of children, so Arrell was force to breed his animals outside of town. I mean, Arrell was pissed off by this, he threaten to kill everyone in town for this, but it didn’t happen.

In addition, I forgot to tell that Celestia was coming for a visit. Apparently, also Luna and Twilight as well. I had no fucking clue why they were coming. I mean, I don’t even believe it even said so why in the episode.

I mean, if it’s just to check up on me, then why didn’t they just send fucking Twilight. Then again, she does have a crush on me, although at the time, it was about when she discovered she had a crush on me, so I guess you could say it would be better to either send Luna or Celestia over I guess. I really don’t fucking know.

Well, like I said before, Arrell was breeding the animals, and were feeding them as well. I also think Arrell was planning on trolling the town for putting that law against him because he was making a awful lot of fucking animals with diabetes and AIDS.

Also, haven’t you notice by now, that my story of my life here so far has a lot of AIDS related shit going on. It’s either from the Zebras, or there’s a weird type of epidemic, where not that where you die from AIDS, but it’s used in a weird way.

When Arrell was just about done making his weapons, I mean animals breed correctly.

I swear to fucking god (this universe’s god) if PETA reads this, gets offended by the use of the animals, and sue me for it, or whatever those hippies do, and then I’ll just put them down.

Besides, according to Ruck Rucka Ali, hippies smell. That or PETA will make a fake game, where the animals that Arrell made would be trying to kill him.

Maybe they should try to kill Mac. I mean, if you recall on what I said back in Chapter 11, how back in Chapter 6 how Mac fucked up the animals and made them talk like from alien resurrection, which was a shitty fucking movie.

Yea, I mean, it’s been what, 9 Chapters since Chapter 6, and I’m still complaining about it. It just shows how much one little thing can fuck up and affect the entire future.

I mean, sometimes I have nightmares about those of fucking hybrid abominations.

Anyway, while Arrell was packing everything up, Arrell came across a Parsprite. Dam it pinkie pie. She knew how to lead them away, but not keep them from going to other places.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Knight, why not just have Neon (since he breaks the laws of fucking physics) or pinkie to get rid of them?”

And if that’s not what you’re thinking, and got lost in the story, where no shit seems to make any fucking sense at all, then you’re not alone. Trust me, even I get lost, and I’m the one who fucking experienced it.

Anyway, that answer to the question is, well, you’ll see why later.

Well, Arrell saw this creature, and thought it would be unique to add to his collection or slaves I guess, pick your guess. I mean, your guess is as good as mine is. Well, he fucking took it.

Therefore, I’m guessing the word of parasprite never got out enough, or maybe not to this town. Therefore, Arrell took a parasprite, and now we’re going to have a parasprite problem.

Ok, so remember how Celestia and her bitchs I guess you could call them, were coming over to Stalia? Well, if you recall in the episode, Twilight was worried and paranoid as Stalin was.

What? I can’t make a history joke? At least a Russian joke? Then again, I did made one.

It just means that all bears comes from Russia and that what the bears are like. They just don’t invade the cities, that’s all.
Anyway, I wasn’t paranoid. In fact, I didn’t give a flaming fucking dam fuck. In fact, I was passed out, while Wolf was laughing his ass off at nothing, because he was high.

We even had slow ride playing the background. Of course, I have a magic spell for that.

It’s like an app. Like, need a hitman? There’s an app for that. Need to grab the nearest illegal Mexican and force him to work for you? there’s an app for that. Need a Jew? There’s an app for that. You get the fucking point.

And to tell you spell name, it’s called the weed music spell.

In addition, Wolf got a letter from Celestia. It was just a reminder letter, saying how she was going to come and shit.

Well, of course, I never open Celestia’s letters, for the most part. Besides, I was passed out, from trying to break my own drinking record again. I was shooting for 11 tequilas this time around.

I mean, I was hanging upside down from the couch, with sunglasses that wasn’t straight, with a joint in my hoof, while strangely, my hat was still on.

Anyways, Wolf got the letter, opened it, laughed at it, put weed in it, rolled it up, and smoked it. Now I know that Wolf.

Always doing crazy shit like that.

Then the doorbell rang, but of course, I was still passed out, so Wolf got the door. It was Arrell, who was dropping something off that I asked him to get me.

It was a lighter. Wolf and I had something planned for Celestia. Here’s the thing. We were planning to put dead bodies in three cannons, and shoot them at her, for being a trollestia and shit.

I don’t give a flaming fuck if the universe makes it disappear. I want to at least try to do it. Why dead bodies you may ask?

Well, all the dead bodies were made when I first came over here. trust me, even though you’re aware of that there was only a few moments where there was a dead body, but trust me, there was a lot more you guys are unaware of.

Of course, I was going to lay the dead bodies all over town as well. I even paid some pony to bring out the canons and shit when Celestia gets here.

We just needed a lighter to set off the canons. In addition, I should correct myself, before stupid people think and comment on the story on something that I fucked up on this part.

It wasn’t a lighter, it was a matchstick. Sure, I know I have a light when I smoke my weed, but that’s my lighter, and not for pranking Trollestia and shit. Anyways, when Wolf went to get the matchsticks, Wolf was still laughing his ass off.

Even Arrell asked why he was laughing, but Wolf told him that I was with a spirit of peace. In other words, hippie talk.

of course, Arrell did any other sane person would do, which was back up slowly, and pretend he didn’t see or hear what he saw or heard.

After a few minutes passed, I soon was no longer passed out.

I mean, my brain hurt, but I was still ok. I went to the bathroom, looked at myself, and I looked like a doucebag as always.

As I was taking a piss, I was teleported outside to the park, where every pony else was cleaning up for Celestias arrival. I was taking a fucking piss, and then teleported. The thing is that no one saw me in that awkward position I was in when I ever take a piss. Not a single fucking soul. In addition, my pee was gone. I didn’t have to go anymore, so basically saying, the universe did that to me.

Therefore, I guess the universe figured out that since I was planning to troll Trollestia, it was going to troll me. Well played universe. Well played.

I then said fuck it and decided on checking out the decorations. I walked through the park and saw ok shit. I mean, it wasn’t good shit, nor wasn’t it bad shit, but ok shit. Just like the good kind of rape and the bad kind of rape. Confused? Me too.

Let’s move on.

I also saw the banner that was being was being raised, which read welcome Celest instead of Celestia. Of course, I told the two ponies that they got it all worng, and it should be Trollestia.

However, they heard the complete opposite of what I said, and they heard me say, “You could try by redoing it and making sure the letters fit on the banner.”

Well, the universe is extra pissy that day or was it? In addition, I noticed what the banner was written in, and it was fucking crayon. Why that? That’s for fucking kids. This is for the ruler of Equestria, Celestia. Pardon my launguge and me. I completely forgot. Trollestia.

Also, will ever let the Trollestia thing go. Eventually later on, I will. I then went to the party shop and to check on Neon. Ok, I was only checking to make sure he didn’t fucking poisoning anything.

I mean, even though you can tell, I’m not a fan of Celestia and shit, I still care for her though. I mean, I don’t want her dead.
If I wanted her dead, I would’ve done it already. I mean, remember, the god like being here.

Well, thankfully Neon wasn’t poisoning any shit, but he was teleporting the cakes and treats to somewhere else. Well, to that one place Neon went after I had that hangover adventure.

Also, I really havn’t heard from that guy Neon went to from last Chapter. Last thing that I heard, some pony heard screams from his room, but the screams stopped.

I’m starting to get scared now by Neon. Are you scared of Neon? If so, I guess you could use it as a ghost story. I wasn’t sure what Neon was doing with those cakes with that dead guy, although, at least I think he’s dead, but I don’t want to know.

In addition, Neon didn’t just teleported the cakes to that dead guy, but also to Jack’s cousin, who has the orphan child.

IN MANEHATTEN……
“Dam it! Son of a fucking Bitch! First Jack sends me his Fucking slave child to me! Now I have fucking cakes and shit all over my fucking dam floor that piece of mother fucking crap son of a bitch!” said the angry cousin.

The child saw the delectable treats from his box and grabbed one before the cousin chopped off his hoof for taking shit that wasn’t in the box.

Soon, the child got diarrhea and Malaria.
BACK IN STALIA……

I somehow feel somewhat bad for that child. Then again, why should I since I don’t know what the fuck happened to him and if he’s alive or not.

Soon, Arrell came in, and said he had something to ask us.

He wanted to know if bees could fuck the strange species of bugs that he found. Apparently, Arrell wanted to make round bees or something.

When I saw what he had, I then had a shocked face. I then walked up to him and grabbed one of those little fuckers and teleported to Ponyville.

I went to Twilights door and knocked, but no one answered.

I then walked around for a few minutes and eventually found her talking with her girls. For some odd reason, I just find that wrong to say. I just do. I mean, think about for a minute.

Anyway, she asked me why I was there in Ponyville, and not getting ready for her coming. That also sounded wrong in a way, but for some reason, I feel proud of it.

I then showed her the parasprite and asked her, “How the fuck did these little fuckers get out of the Everfree?” surprisingly this time, she heard me fucking curse, although, there was that one time she did, but she rolled her eyes at me, if you recall from one of the chapters.

Anyway, the elements were in fucking shock that a parasprite has came back, although I told them it was only in Stalia and they were relived.

Those mother fucking bitchs.

After all, of the shit I did… no wait. I didn’t do jackshit for them. Well played universe. Well played.

Therefore, Twilight just told me to take Pinkie Pie down there to get rid of them. Pinkie agreed to do so, but she would have to do something first, so it would be later in the day.

Until then, I would have to keep these little bastards at home until Pinkie could get here. Now that I mention bastards, looking back at the parasprites remind me of Adult swims game, my little bastard. Maybe adult swim made the parasprites.

I mean, if you recall that one time, when they made that bump for Bronies, it said how they are creped out and shit about Bronies. Maybe they were up to this. Which, by the way, I actually thought this at the time and went to do a little investigation.

Well, I went home and Wolf saw this and was shocked. I mean, he had seen the episode, which by the way, he has seen all the episodes, well, at least until season 3. I didn’t get a chance to show him season 4, but whatever.

Well, I told him I was going to do an experiment on these little bastards. I was always curious of what these things were made out of anyway.

Therefore, I went down to my secret basement, and did some research. What I found out was that it has some relations to a fly, and some manmade genetics and a little bit from a bee. Now there was one more thing it was made up of.

It was fucking AIDS. Maybe Arrell was right when he made that excuse when the dragon came that one time. In others words, these are flying AIDS, and soon, there was going to be a swarm of AIDS.

In addition, while I was doing this, Arrell gave one to everyone of my fucking friends.

He gave one to Neon, although I wasn’t too worried about that, because in the end, Neon set those paraisprites on fire and took it to the place where I believe was the dead body was at.

He had given one to Jack and Forest. Forest was putting on a suit for when Celestia came, while Jack was making it. In addition, just to make sure and clear any information up, that Jack is not gay. I mean, I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that when someone reads this, they are going to think that Jack was gay, although even though he never showed any of the signs, but just because he works with fashion.

I’m just afraid someone is going to think that, just because he makes suits and shit. Well, he’s not gay. Moving on.

As for Mac, he didn’t want any, but only because he had thought that they carried AIDS and didn’t want to touch it. Well, for one thing, he was right about the AIDS.

However, they don’t spread the AIDS, unless for some odd reason some pony tries to fuck it. Which, by the way, some pony did. Well, not a pony, but an old woman did it.

Now she has AIDS, but she already had AIDS when she had fucked bees.

In addition, this was the same old woman from chapter 12, and if you recall, she loved pain and had a dark side with it.

Therefore, after I did my research, I told TK to figure out what the human quality DNA that was made part of the little creature. I mean, I’m starting to think it was Adult Swim now.

Well, I decided to go to sleep, although, bad move on my part, because when I woke up, there were about an army of those little fuckers.

They were taking shit and doing shit. It was insane. Also, what happened to fucking Pinkie Pie!? She didn’t even fucking come. That fucking bitch. Although, she didn’t pinkie promise, so I guess that’s an excuse.

Well, good news, pinkie came that morning with her band shit, and started to play to get rid of mines first. Well, unfortunately, the things didn’t follow her. Even Pinkie was confused.

Well, she said she was sorry, and went to get Twilight, although, she never came back. Who knows? Maybe since she breaks the laws of physics and all, maybe she went into another universe, came back, and forgot what she wanted to do.

Apparently, these things adopt quickly. They were like predators, which actually gave me an idea, although, I sent Wolf to do it, and gave him plenty of guns and ammo since it would be dangerous, but I casted spells on him before and he shouldn’t get hurt. I then tracked down a predator universe, opened it, and Wolf then jumped through it. I then went back to MLP and went to visit the other guys.

In addition, by the way, there was some missing food in the fridge. Apparently, Wolf fed them after midnight. That fucking dumbass. Didn’t he know about gremlins. I mean, I even showed him the movie. Know what?

From now on, I am going to call these things either AIDS or gremlins.

Well, I went to check on the others and see how they were doing with their gremlins. Forest was sleeping in his cloud castle or whatever the fuck it was.

Speaking of cloud shit. I always wondered what the fuck Rainbows house looked like. I mean, we do get a few glimpses of it like two or three times, but that’s it, other then what it looks like on the outside of course.

Well, Forest wasn’t sleeping in his bed, but on his cloud couch, since he had cloud beers.

Yes, you read right, cloud beers. From what I’ve heard, only Alicorns and pegasi can drink it. I mean, I had one, and of fucking course, you’re must be wondering how did I do it.

Well, that answer will come later in the future. Anyway, Forest woke up on his couch and saw the AIDS had multiplied. He then ran outside his house and went to find a solution, I think.

Well, I went to Jack’s first and Jack was standing outside of his house. I also saw fire inside. From what Jack has told me, when he woke up, his shit or his work was on fire.

Yes. Apparently, the gremlins lit his shit on fire. Well, now we have two Macs. Besides. I was relieved a little, because I thought he had burned it down for the insurance money. Then again, insurance for fire didn’t exist here. Well, with Neon, as I said before, he went with to what I believe with the dead body he had hiding in the building.

I’m really starting to get scared of Neon now. I mean, he’s like a creepy pasta pony or something. Creeps me the fuck out.

Well, after I had that thought in my head. Yea, I actually didn’t know, but Neon did hint and mentioned it a few times.

Anyways, jack, Forest, and I went to check up on Arrell. When we saw the door open to his house, we took a look in.

what we saw was what the fuck man. We saw all the animals that Arrell owned was humping and fucking the gremlins. In addition, where was Arrell?

He was sitting down in his chair, had his hoof on his chin, as in a thinking position, while have a poker face expression. He then said to us, “I believe I may have figured out why my animals are always fucking. It’s their hormones.”

That actually made a lot of sense. I mean, don’t you remember when you were a teenager; you always had the feel to fuck or hump something. So yea. Those animals were teenagers.

What came next was Mac riding in with some apples. He said, “Ok Arrell. I’ve got those apples you asked for. Since I’m pretty sure these are for those little buggers there and not for you or your animals since you never ask for them. I’ve got them from my cousin Applejack’s farm; since her apples taste like crap and mine is much better then hers.”

Mac has many problems with his cousin Applejack. Maybe I also need an intervention with him one day. Now only if I could do one for Neon. Yea, the intervention didn’t happen yet. Although, at the next town hall meeting, I was going to try to have a petition that Neon has an intervention.

Well, the gremlins then ate all the apples up quickly as shit. Don’t know what I said there, but ok then. Well, then Mac decided to round them up and put them in the Everfree.

Therefore, we collected them all.

In addition, when I mean by collecting them, I mean lighting them on fire and bury them in the Everfree. In addition, that’s what we did.

We lit those fuckers on fire as if it was the 4th of the July. We then collected all the burned dead bodies, buried them in the Everfree forest, and went to clean up the mess that they had made.

Well, after an hour of cleaning up or so, they came back. They came back from the fucking dead. Like I said. They adapt quickly. Shit fuck.

Therefore, what happened next, we were going to up and leave the town, and leave everyone behind in the town. Yea, my friends and I were assholes.

Well, we were going to do that, but unfortunately, the universe had something planned for me. I randomly did a spell, which turned the gremlins into pony killers.

Ok now. Apparently, the universe really wants me to die then. Well two can play at that game.

Although, it would take a while for me to figure something out for the universe. Moving on.

After I casted the spell, Forest looked at me, and said, “Oh look. You just fucked Equestria. Thanks Knight. Thanks.”

I wanted to tell him it was the universe making me to it, but of course, he wouldn’t believe me. Maybe Neon would, which I actually did.

As a response, I got “the universe only hates you, because you hate It.” he was kind of right. Maybe he isn’t a psychopath. Maybe he a philosopher psychopath.

Well, what happened next was, well, I went almost insane. I had a crazy look on my face and the Princesses were coming.

I then said aloud, which by the fucking way, the universe made me say it, that I said, “Ok. Here’s the plan. Half of the town will distract the gremlins, while the other half builds in exact replica of the town, so Celesita will not notice anything that shit has gone wrong.”

Yea, I was crazy.

I was crazy for trying to redo that one part from that one western movie, where the town was preparing for an attack on the town, where they build an exact cheap replica of it, which the towns wins the battle.

They then randomly celebrate, but then start hitting each other, and ending up crashing into a movie set where there, was gay people singing and dancing in a very weird and odd way.

I have no fucking clue what the movie is called, but that’s what will happen if we do that idea. Actually, note to self, look for alternate universe where that happen and see how it will play out.

Now, then out of nowhere, predators come to attack the gremlins. Also, Wolf came back. He was a little scratched up, but was good. All he needed was some weed and beer, and he would be all set and good to go.

The predators were slaughtering those gremlins, and the gremlins starting flying back to the Everfree. They also went into a formed line like in the episode.

In addition, while that was happening, the Princesses arrived on their chariots. All of my friends went to see their arrival, and Princess Celestia stepped down, but the others did not.

In addition, Twilight had a bit of a worried look on her face, but I guess it was that she was worried that I didn’t fix the problem with the gremlins.

In addition, Celestia then said to me, “Knight! My star pupil!”

I just found that odd, because wasn’t Twilight her star pupil and shit. Then again, she is the ruler so I guess she could have many pupils as she fucking wanted. Fuck. Maybe enough to have a fivesome or a twentyonesome.

Actually, that would just be a big ol’ orgy. Whatever, moving on.

After she said that, the gremlins were walking by, and Celestia had that weird eye movement I always see whenever she is in an episode.

While she was looking at those gremlins, I said, “So, how was the trip? Catched any traffic?”

That was the stupidest fucking thing I have ever said. I mean, there’s fucking nothing in the sky at all, but apparently, the universe thinks different.

Why the fuck would you get any traffic in the sky, other then pegisi and birds. That’s it, and they will either get out of the way or you smash into them. Simple as that.

Then Celestia said, “What is this. I see you and the town of Stalia has thrown a parade in my honor of my visit, just like Twilight did.” and I went like, “yea, sure. We threw you a parade.”

I also saw the guy I paid to dump the dead bodies on Celestia, and I told him in a loud whisper, “Hide the dead bodies. Hide the dead bodies!”

Celestia then said she was treeiably honored. I’m not making that up. She even said that in the episode. I don’t understand. Maybe it’s an Alicorn thing. I will never understand Celestia. She used to be cool, but know I think she’s mentally unstable.

Well, she then told my friends and me that they had to go, because they had an infestation problem in Las Pegasus. Yea, apparently, some predators escaped and went to Las Pegasus. Yea, there were many dead ponies.

Therefore, they went up and left to take care of the problem. By the way, the predators left Las Pegasus before the princesses arrived, and they went somewhere deep in a jungle to live happily ever after.

Well, for a while until I found them again, this is another story for another time. so, when the princesses left, I was happy, although, I wouldn’t get my money back since I paid that one guy to dump the dead bodies all over Celestia and all, but I had a smile, since I knew this was finally over.

While I was smiling, ponies were running ramped through the streets, because there was still a predator problem.

Well, fortunately, TK was here to give me something about the Adult Swim people, which he then pushed back and knocked out all the predators and put them in the Everfree to be eaten by the timber wolves.

In addition, after TK did this, TK told me that the gremlins were made and were brought back by the Adult Swim group. I’m not even fucking kidding.

The Adult Swim group was in this universe. How are these humans coming here!? Is there like a rip through time and space or did Neon break the laws of physics, and brought the humans through it, or the humans saw the portal and shit, I don’t know anymore, all right?

Well, when TK said that the gremlin thing was Adult Swim’s fault, three people who are basically who run Adult Swim, came up from behind the bushes, and by the way, these are guys are in pony form, which is following of the universal rules and all.

They got up and said, “Dam it Dam it Dam it. Ponies have ruined our plans. We were going to kill these ponies, show them to the Bronies, and make them all lose hope in the show and they will stop being pony lover mother fuckers. We will have our revenge one day! You’ll regret it!” and they said all of that while running away into the equestrian desert, which they would be possibly be killed by diamond dogs.

Well, after that, everything went back to the way it was, well, for at least 12 hours.

Yea, i sort of did this chapter out of the blue. perhaps i should work on my other stories.

Chapter17: Neon IS Normal

Ok, so I was still in bed, and didn’t wake up till around like almost lunch time or whatever. I was tired from yesterday’s events and I really didn’t feel like getting up.

I mean, I didn’t even want to go outside and do something that the universe wanted me to do. I mean, sure, the universe could just teleport me outside and do whatever, but that day, I really was going to put up a fight.

So, when I woke up, Wolf was sleeping in his bed,along with Molestia at his side. By the way, those two have been really getting at it at the time. I mean, they have been doing nonstop fucking almost every night.

I mean, Molestia will sometimes do me when I’m sleeping, which she is the sleeping fucker I guess, and sometimes when I’m awake.

Well, I looked at them, and they were sleeping and shit. In addition, if you’re wondering how does a big ass Alicorn fits in Wolf’s bed, well, they were on the floor fucking, so, technically, its Wolf’s bed, which is the floor.

In addition, he was fucking Princess Molestia in it.

Also, as for the fluids that come out of Molestia and all. Wolf cleans it up. Moreover, if you think Wolf cleans it with his mouth and he puts it inside him, then you are the sickest fuck that I know, and really are thinking too deep into this.

He manually cleans it up with a towel. If you thought that, then why? I mean, Wolf knows it’s disgusting at the same time to put inside his mouth. Whatever you sick fuck. I’m not the one thinking those thoughts. Did I just blow your mind there or what?

Well, anyway, Molestia got up, used her magic to carry Wolf back to her chambers, where they will continue to fuck, since I was awoken, that and the tiger was still asleep, and didn’t want to hear all the moaning coming from them while they were doing it. Yea, I still had the tiger.

Anyway, she got up, and thanked for last night. Yes, apparently, the sleeping fucker strikes again at me that night, while doing it, although, she sort of drugged me and I was half awake while she did me.

Oh well. This is pretty much my daily routine now, ever since I got to Stalia and all.

Well, Molesta let herself out, and I kind of laid there for a while thinking about that Lauren Faust dream that I had again.

Yes, I had it once again. I even recall in the dream, I was myself, with the usual little bit dark blue. Yea, I never specified my color coat.

Pardon me, but let me explain. My coat color is like Luna’s except lighter, but it’s a dark blue color.

In addition, to give you a better description of my friends, Neon looks like wooden Toaster’s OC, but with some differences, and Forest’s mane I fucked up on.

It isn’t black, but of a fire-ish color mane or a color to be specific that would go with his fire like coat. Got a better description now?

Anyways, as I was saying, I was in the kingdom, with Lauren Faust’s OC pony. She looked happy and smiled at me, and said something in a motherly tone, which would make since, since she is like the creator of Celestia and she has a motherly tone.

So it’s like Celestia inherited that or something. I don’t know. I am just confusing you more then what I should.

However, I couldn’t make out the words, because they weren’t clear to me, however, for some reason, I was shaking my head, as if I was understanding it.

In addition, I was in a stone room, with a like a light bluish portal or something. I don’t know, it’s like a hidden chamber or something.

Of course, have I told this to Wolf yet? The answer is no, because something tells me not to, and I just try to push that thought aside of the dream that I had, so I can move on with life.

However, at the time, I couldn’t shake the feeling off from the dream that I had…. I had something to do with it. I mean, at the time, it was as if it was my weakness.

Sometimes I couldn’t even get to sleep because of it. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m connected to it somehow. As if, I was meant to be here.

As in, I was supposed to go to this universe. Although, I’ve kind of figured that out, ever since the universe keeps trying to FUCKING TROLL ME AND MAKE ME DO SHIT!!! Sorry, I just had to let out some steam. Moving on.

As for the dream, that can be discussed father as we move along the story in the future. However, I still couldn’t shake the weird feeling off me.

Anyhow, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and did my mane and shit. What? My mane can sometimes look like a doucebag and shit, whenever I wake up in the morning.

I mean, it’s not long or anything, but I don’t want to look like a fucking doucebag in public. Besides, I’m pretty fucking sure whenever you go out in public, you don’t want to look like a fucking doucebag.

Anyways, I went downstairs to smoke some weed. I actually made a hybrid weed. I took all the kinds of weed, and made it into one.

It’s really hard to do so, so I saved it for special moment. So that day, I felt like doing one. I was about to light one of the special weed, but I got a knock on my door. I grunted and went to the door and opened it.

To my surprise, it was Neon. He had a nervous look on his face. I mean the only other time I recall something like that was when we had that Zebra Problem.

What was her name again? Don’t remember. That’s why I call her black guy pony, so just in case I can’t remember her real name, I can name her by a fake one that I gave her.

Therefore, when I opened the door, Neon pounced on me and said he needed my help. Of course, I pushed him off, and said to fuck off. He kept saying that I didn’t understand.

Oh no, I perfectly understand. He just wants to harvest my organs in his little hidden basement in the party shop. Well, I will not be fooled by a…. whatever he is.

However, he kept saying that he had lost his ability to break laws of physics. Therefore, he is self aware of it. That means it’s only a matter of time before the universe explodes, because that’s what it seems to me that way.

I mean, Neon is random, so that just makes perfect sense to me.

He kept on begging me, to which it got to a point where I agreed to do so, which he had a smile on his face. I then asked him what we had to do.

Neon then said, “If I need to get my powers back. There’s only one place that I would know where that would be at. On Planet Random!”

You read right. Planet fucking random. So he’s like an alien, although, he isn’t, which I’ll explain later about that. At least I knew where he had his powers from, so that means if I could destroy the source of it, it would no longer give him the power. Whatever, just thinking at random there.

Anyway, I then said no, because I actually believe on that one. Well, if you ever spend a week with Neon, you will believe everything that he says. He then told me we had to, since there was a predator attack.

Oh, right, forgot to mention. Remember those predators from the last chapter, well, not all were dead. In fact, the ones that have survived adapted to TK’s fighting skills, so they can no longer be killed by him.

In other words, Equestria was fucked.

In fact, Neon showed me through a window, and I saw ponies running away from the predators. In fact, it was really bloody out there. Blood and guts everywhere and flying everywhere as well.

I then decided to go with Neon, but only to fix the problem. I then asked him how we get to planet Random, and he said to Twilights library.

We then ran outside, and as we were doing so, we were dogging predator’s attacks. I mean, it’s like the Asians from Vietnam.

I mean, they were coming out of the trees man. They were coming from the bushes man. Now I’m talking like a Vietnam soldiers man. Note to self, stop smoking weed from Vietnam soldiers.

Moving on, we eventually got out of Stalia and went through the Everfree, which took us almost all day to get through. I mean, since I was like the king of the Everfree, no animals harmed us, but it was still a long ass way that we walked.

We eventually reached Ponyville and the sun was setting and by now, word has gotten out that the predators attacking Stalia and is advancing to other areas.

I then went to Twilights door, I knocked, she opened, and Neon let himself in. what an impolite guest. He then started to throw books off the shelves and knocking on the wood.

Twilight opened her mouth and was about to ask, but I said to her to shut the fuck up, “I’m more confused then you are right now.”

She then nodded her head, and eventually Neon found a hollow spot in the shelves walls, and punched through it and grabbed a book out from it.

First off, there was already a hidden book in the tree house, if you recall from one of the episodes. You just wonder whom the fuck built the place.

Also, dam. Neon is one fucking strong ass pony. He is just a fucking badass and shit.

Neon flipped through some pages from the book, and eventually found what he was looking for. He then sat the book down, and started to read in what sounded like Muslim and Asian language put together, as if some kind of hybrid.

I always knew he was Osama bin pony. He’s a traitor to the rebel alliance and why am I trying to quote star wars? That was fucking ridicules.

Well, eventually Neon was finished and a big ass-fucking portal opened up in the room, while a bunch of chickens popped out of it. That or you can call the chicken’s scootaloos, since she was a chicken and shit.

They were pecking at the wood like woody wood pecker, except not high on cocaine like he was. I wonder why woddy never went to rehab for his addiction, because he seems to be high on crack in the cartoons. Don’t you agree?

Neon then told me to get through the portal, or klatu bitch will get me in my sleep. That is what he latterly said. You can just tell this is going to be a random chapter with random things in it.

I then went through it, since I was scared of what Neon said. I wasn’t afraid of what actually was going to happen, but Neon’s words just made me jump through the portal.

I blacked out when I went through, and of course, I dreamed of that Lauren Faust OC pony again.

I mean, when I first got to Equestria, it didn’t happen at first. However, for some reason, the longer I stayed there, the longer the more frequent the dreams were. They were starting to become one of my many weaknesses. Yea, a god like being that has weaknesses.

Well, at least I don’t only have one weakness, like that fucking bitch superman. What? You want to fucking complain and start a flame war?

Well, come on man, let’s bring it on then?! Bring it on bitch. I ain’t fucking afraid of you! Come at me Bro! Come at me! I’ll rip your spine out! Sorry for that, but you just don’t want to get into a flame war with me.

Then again, this is in a book, so technically, it wouldn’t be a flame war, and possibly when a human being finds this book where ever I fucking decide to put it at, you people will possibly won’t even find me to start the fucking flame war. So fuck you.

Therefore, what happened this time I was on clouds, and of course, the OC pony was there but along with Celestia and Luna, but they were fillies. As if, they were kids and growing up.

What the fuck does that mean you might ask? As I said, you just have to wait for the answer.

I mean, eventually, those dreams were going to prevent me from sleeping, because I just couldn’t sleep, with that weird feeling on me.

It’s like tony stark in Iron Man 3, how he couldn’t sleep because ever since New York and shit. I couldn’t sleep because of those dreams. And when I do sleep, it’s always that. They eventually stopped, but it only stopped when something that I discovered.

I soon woke up, with Neon staring in my face. He said he was trying to wake me up for 11 years. Of course, we were on planet random, which random shit happens all the time.

When I got up, I saw where we were, and it looked like a hybrid between earth and all creations that were from movies or shows or whatever the fuck that you do.

I mean, there was Lego people walking down the streets, while the dog from blues clues was doing its cousin. While Bob the builder just started hitting on weird chicks, while the wiggles were running away from Twinkies since they were pedophiles. This place was fucked up.

In addition, the sky was red or as if the apocalypse has arrived, the four horsemen of the apocalypse were there. Speaking of the horsemen. They were there!

However, there weren’t spreading terror, but shooting rainbows out of the horses asshole. Neon explained to me that was the daily rainbow that happens whenever a dog fucks a horse.

In addition, another thing to note is that the cities were pretty advanced then the human way of life or life back on Earth in other words. It was pretty high-tech. maybe we weren’t random, like these people were.

Anyway, Neon told me to follow him. I asked where, and he said to his parent’s house. Ok, so here is the thing. Neon was from the MLP universe.

However, when he was little or a child or a colt I should say, he was given god like powers and was then trained by Liam Nession, just like Batman and Darth Vader. However, it required him to leave Equestria, so he took his family along, and they have been living there ever since.

After a while, when Neon was about 18 years of age, he wanted to get back to his roots, and went back to Equestria to live out his days as a pony. Well, at least you get an origin story for Neon, right?

Well, we were walking or trotting to his old neighborhood, and as we were walking along, I saw some humans.

I asked what were those, just to make sure he wasn’t suspicious of me. He then said they were humans and they came from the planet Earth, which was not random as planet random.

Therefore, apparently, Neon has been to Earth, and knows everything about it. He says the human race will eventually fall and be extinct and what not and were not good to be with. Although, apparently on this planet of randomness was good to be with.

Well, when we got to Neon’s house, I saw three kids from the PJ’s playing jump rope with an electrical wire, while fucking a dog that was killing the pope in the pope mobile. Not making that up.

Neon then knocked on the door. Excuse me, he banged his head against the door, until there was a hole through it, and his father opened it up, and was a stereotypical father from the 50’s, while the mom looked like an ok mother.

One of Neon’s sisters was a crack head, while his brother was also normal like. Neon also has a little brother, which wanted to kill me and everyone around him. Basically, a psychopathic Emo.

I mean, I talked to the little kid, saying, “well, aren’t you a cute little fucker.”

His response, “I’m going to kill you. I’m going to kill all my brothers and sisters and mother and father. I will then destroy this planet, and then cut myself, while gang banging the prince of Egypt (the movie and the real one) while feeding a polar bear dog food. Then cry in a corner.”

Yea, that is what happens when you encounter an Emo. They just end up killing you at one point in your life. But at least you get into heaven that way, where the Nazis are at. Surprised? I am sure I’m more surprised then you are.

I mean, I can out surprise you and every possible way.

well, Neon’s mother offered me the guest bed in Neon’s bedroom, but I was afraid to say yes, because I’m pretty sure Neon was going to harvest my organs or kill me or do some weird fucking shit while I’m asleep.

Then again, he doesn’t have his powers, so it was until he got them back. Although, I was still afraid of him, because I can just feel like powers or not, he still looks into my souls with his eyes and preys on my innocence.

Now I have shivers down my back as I’m writing this down. Are you getting shivers right now? Moving on.

Therefore, I then said I had to use the bathroom, and Neon’s mother pointed me in the direction. In other words, she gave me a fucking map.

Although, it was simple, as in German language. She then gave me the map and lit the map on fire. This place certainly is random. Neon really does belong here and should stay here and never come back.

I mean, that way, other ponies can live and won’t be killed by him. Although, I’ll admit, I would miss him and his randomness shit fucks of feats that he does. Don’t know what I just said there, but I went to the bathroom, and everything seemed to be quite normal.

No unusual object out of place, although, surprisingly, Mr. Hanky was there and he humped and jumped from the toilet and said “howdy oh” and got the fuck out. That actually put a smile on my face, since its Mr. Hanky from south park.

He even gave me a little present, which was shit. Yea, I lit Mr. Hanky on fire for that present, and left him on a dogs doorstep. Yea, dogs doorstep. Don’t ask.

So, while I was in the bathroom, I was thinking of “No, I’m not a Brony, get me out of Equestria again,” and remembered the part of when TD trolled the D.O.R.K.S.

I remembered the part mostly about the Nixon one. Well, I decided to do something random, since I was on planet random and might as well try to fit in, because I was afraid that if I didn’t, these uh…. creatures on the planet would kill me for being a non-believer.

Well, I did exactly what the fan fic chapter said, which was to say Ronald Regan in the mirror five times and flush the toilet.

After I did that, I laughed my ass off, thinking how ridiculous that It was. Then, a Richard Nixon head slowly rose from the toilet and it talked.

It said, “I am Richard Nixon. Thank you for freeing me from the Muslims Russian Jews. They were fucking my head with a stick up a rods asshole. I am now your personal pet and will serve you till the end of time or will fuck you in your sleep and pee and your face, then explode at random.”

I then had a shocked horrid face look. I then said, “Well, at least it’s nothing like that biggie smalls joke myth from South Park.”

In addition, right when I said it, biggie smalls appeared with a gun to my head.

Then Neon busted in through the door, by using his crack head sister, who had a Sony walkman, listening to slow ride and strawberry fields forever, and busted her skull open, and was left there for dead, and Neon said, “hey man. Just checking up on you and….”

He then gasped and said, “you have a personal Nixon pet too!? Oh, my mother fucking spaghetti sweet baby black Jesus god this is fucking awesome. I have one too!! But it’s a Black Nixon.”

Then the black Nixon appeared right beside him, as if it came from another dimension.

He then said the N word to me, and for good reasons, I will never say that or write that word, because it’s quite fucking obvious why. In fact, pretend I didn’t put the N word there.

However, he said what’s up my N word, and put a gun to biggi smalls head and shot him and his body disappeared into oblivion.

In addition, when I mean Oblvion, I mean, the actual game of oblivion.

Then Neon said, “you know what we should do!?”

I then responded by, “I’m afraid to ask.”

Then Neon said, “we should have a battle to the death with our Nixon’s!! We can use the death battle arena at my old Pre-K teachers house.”

He then dragged me along a dirt road and we ended up in Neon’s old childhood teachers house.

We just busted in without knocking, although, it didn’t matter, because the teacher a Muslim Jew who was doing the Russian dance on top of a coffee table, with draft punk playing, ‘television rules the nation’ ,while there was an audience of dogs booing the Muslim Jew guy. It was as if I was going insane.

Neon then dragged me to the Muslims Jews hidden basement, where there was illegal cock fighting and a Nixon death battle.

There was a battle going on when we arrived, which was Lance Armstrong who had a Pokémon and a humping robot, fighting against a giant fucking Asian Nixon head.

The giant Nixon head said to the humping robot and Pokémon, “I am your god!! Bow down to me and all shall suffer the same fate as gay Nixon! And illegal Mexican Nixon as well!!!”

He then shot laser beams in and out of his eyes and killed his opponents and the person who had those Pokémon was Lance Armstrong.

He then said, “Dam it. Now I have cancer again.”

He then was teleported back to earth, or as in the earth you guys are in. apparently, this is how he got the steroids, by winning battles against giant Nixon head’s, but if he lost, he got cancer.

Nevertheless, if he lost to a black guy, he got AIDS. This chapter get’s more fucked up as we go, I know. I’m afraid too, but it’ll be over soon.

Then the Nixon head that won said, “I mother fucking win!! Take that super Asian Nixon head!” Then he exploded and super Asian Nixon head pissed on the audience and ate their legs. I’m starting to get scared of this planet the more that I think about it.

We were then teleported to the battle arena, where the people from the matrix came up to me, and gave me my weapon, which was a red pill, and gave Neon the blue pill.

We then took it, and Neon was just knocked out, while I hallucinated.

I imagined a giant chicken mask fighting Tara strong in a battle to the death, with turkeys fucking scarecrows in the ass, while beer rained, and I was in a field that was strawberries, while the beetles were playing “strawberries fields forever.”

The only thing that I enjoyed was the song. In addition, if that’s what really our lives are, and we’re just laying there in the strawberry fields, you know, since I took the red pill and all, then I rather stay here then go back to the strawberry fields.

Neon and I then woke up from being knocked out, and I saw a dead black Nixon head in front of me. Apparently, the heads were fighting while we were knocked out, and my Nixon head got a little violent.

He used his mouth and slaughtered the black Nixon head. When Neon saw this, he said, “Dam it. You killed my Black Nixon head and sunken my battleship.”

For some reason, that sounded funny. Well, then Neon ignored that his Battleship and never talked about it to me in every possible way. Well, then Neon ignored that his black Nixon head was destroyed and told me to follow him to the bar where I would meet his friends.

When we got to the bar, which, by the way, the bar was like that bar from star wars, where the classic bar music was playing. I don’t fucking know, it’s hard to explain.

Well, my floating Nixon head also came along. I then met Neon’s old friends who were at the bar. Neon’s friends consisted of that guy who played in Green Lateran, but had the Green Lantern powers, ALF, Donald Trump, a floating JFK head, a giant mother fucking Dr. Pepper can that talked, Tom the rock, and Tom Hanks.

Neon introduced me to the Green Lantern guy, and he said hello to me and what not. Donald Trump was about to say something, but then the Green Lantern guy said, “Shut the fuck up trump!! No one wants to hear your political beliefs. No wait, I believe in a different type of government. Nooooooooooooo!!!!”

Then guards took him away and into a tree where he was signing staying alive, while being butt fucked by squalls. I said my political beliefs, which was the same thing that Green Lantern was, but no one took me away.

I thought I could actually be free from that nightmare, but yet, I was wrong. Then Neon asked if they could help him get his powers back, but Donald Trump was bleeding all over, ALF, well, he just talked to me instead.

He said, “Can I eat your cat?”

I said I didn’t have a cat with me, and he said, “Then why the fuck do I smell a cat around. Cat!? Cat? Where are you? I just want to fuck you and eat you! Caaaaaaaaat?”

ALF then walked around the bar, looking for the cat.

Then the Dr. Pepper can said, “no thanks.” He was a polite Dr. Pepper can.

Then Tom the rock just simply said no, and Tom Hanks didn’t say a word, but ate everyone’s legs at the bar except for me and Neon.

Then we walked out the bar, and Neon told me, “First, if we want to get my powers back, we have to go to the council of random.”

I asked how do we get there, and he told me we had to ride a retarded flying moose, who was Lumpy from Happy Tree Friends, which was a daily transportation and we got on it and crash into a mountain and we were there.

I felt like we died, but we ended up at the council. We then had wait in the waiting room area.

I sat there, while Neon put a pencil in his mouth, and puked. Neon said it was tradition to do it while waiting for the council.

He offered me to do it, but I obviously refused, but then out of nowhere, optimums primes came to me, gave me a gun to kill a Pepsi bottles, while three dogs were fucking a bee and a turkey had fire coming out of its mouth and ass, while two robots name Jim and Harry fucked all night long. I don’t know anymore, ok?

It was then our turn to go into the council. It was a dark room, and there were five spots where the wise ones of randomness were sitting at. Yea, they’re called that.

Then the leader of them all said, “The council shall commence in ten minutes. Until then, the bear shall come in.”

Then Neon had a scared look on his face and said, “oh no. not the bear!?”

Then, a Russian bear on a unicycle juggling three balls while the classic circus music playing in the background came in. That was it.

That and a scuba diver and a guy in a panda costume were in a row boat going back and forth across the floor, while a monkey was bashing an alligators skull in with a calculator. This chapter keeps getting weirder and weirder as we move on with this part of the story, isn’t it?

Then they exploded out of random and the leader said, “Your request of your powers has been denied.”

I couldn’t believe it. Now I had to continue a random adventure with this guy.

Since I clearly wanted to get this adventure over with, I spoke up and said, “Hold on a minute here. My friend Neon here really needs those powers back. I mean, back in Equestria, ponies need our help, because creatures called predators are attacking and killing innocent lives. So can you please just give him his powers back, so I can go home to a peaceful place, so I can smoke my weed in peace?”

Then the leader said, “wait, you’re that normal guy who isn’t even a citizen of this place. Ok then, you get the powers that breaks all laws of physics. Case dismiss.”

I then had a strong force push me back and I had powers to break all laws of physics. All, right, and the council members, all shot a Pepsi bottle, while fucking a crushed red peppers container, while rainbows came out of there asses, while flying cats were eating pop tarts.

Then Neon had an ok what the fuck expression on his face, and we walked out of the building that was not in the mountain.

Who the fuck knows, maybe crashing into the mountain was a teleportation, but then again, why didn’t the rest of the passengers were there. I don’t know. It’s best not to question it.

So then Neon said, “maybe someone stole it from me”

I then said, “oh boy, why would someone want to steal your powers?”

To be honest, I don’t know if I was trying to be scarstic there are not.

Well, the next thing you know, out of nowhere, Neon grabs a device, and puts it on the ground and opened a portal to earth.

IN HOLLYWOOD

Robert downy jr. was relaxing at his home. He had stared in iron man 3 and was making a fuck ton of money, and paid hookers and what not.

He even had eleven sons, but didn’t care, since he banged so many chicks before. Sure, he had a wife, but of course, he didn’t give a fuck, because he was fucking iron man.

He was sitting down, reading the newspapers, and he was reading where a dead Taylor Swift body had been found dead in her home.

Robert had a smile on his face, for he was the one that killed Taylor, and blamed it on Jude Law, that guy he works with in the Sherlock Holmes films. He was then hoping he would get a better actor to replace Jude Law.

Of course, how did he make it look like Jude Law did it?

Well, he had put a random stick by it, so it looked like a British person had done it, because everyone knows that all British people are wizards.

Then, a portal opened in his one hundred million dollar solid gold and red living room and was taken through the portal. Robert then woke up to a neon greenish pony.

BACK TO THE STORY

Well, Neon had brought Robert Downy jr. along for the ride. At first, he was confused, but then Neon told him he was Sherlock Holmes, and that he needed him.

Then Neon killed a random person, took his hat and pipe, and gave it to Robert. Robert holds it in his hands, still speechless.

Then Neon grabbed my Nixon head, and threaten him to say something or he would use the Nixon head against him.

The Nixon head had all kind of guns and shit, and even a nuclear bomb ready go off any minute and had barking at Robery with his sharp teeth.

Then Robert looked up in the sky and pointed upwards. It was a yellow submarine.

Then Neon said, “of course. How could’ve I missed it. it’s so obvious. I had a feud with the beetles for years, and maybe they did it. Or maybe, perhaps it was the blue meanies that did it. Quick Knight! Buddy ol’ pal! To the yellow submarine!”

Then Neon got on top of my Nixon and floated upwards.

Then Robert looked at me and I said, “look. I wouldn’t question it if I was you, and I’m more confused then you are.”

I then was somehow teleported up to the submarine and the beetles were animated from the movie and were singing yellow submarine.

Well, two beetles anyway. One was dead on the ground, because I remember one died of cancer. The other one had a hole through his skull, which was when one of the beetles was assassinated by a guy with glasses.

I’m looking at you NC. We all know that you were the one that did it and covered it up on a doucebag. That fucker.

Neon then used the Nixon head and killed another member of the beetles and asked the last one alive where his powers were at.

Then the last beetle said, “I don’t have a fucking clue. How about if you ask the dam walrus, down below the sub marine.

Now if you excuse me, we were about to sing a song about love.”

He then started singing, and his heart exploded and was everywhere in the sub.

Then, we were teleported out of the sub and the sub crashed into a tower like building. Then another sub crashed into the other tower like building right next to the one that was already destroyed. We basically made another 9/11, but with submarines.

I think we should’ve done it by using giant polar bears instead of yellow sub marines. I don’t know where the second sub came from, but I have a feeling that Osama bin pony had something to do with it.

We then saw the walrus. The walrus had sunglasses and had hippies all around him and singing ‘I am the walrus.’

Neon then asked him where was his powers were at, and the walrus said, “How about you look beyond the stars man.”

Then Neon said, “of course. Quick! To Effils65’s house!”

Then Neon left without me and the walrus was then eaten up by a rhino. Goody.

Then Neon stopped in the middle of the road, high jacked a car that was a Lego car, and he earned two stars with five hundred dollars, like in a Grand Theft Auto game.

Neon saw that above him, pointed the gun at the score, and the two stars went to five stars and the money went to the infinite symbol. Then he shot down that white dragon from the never-ending story movies and we got on it.

Why did he high jacked a Lego car, well, some Muslims beer cans paid him and they drove the car into a Denys and it exploded. Then everybody stopped in their places and applauded them for their good deed.

Now, that’s actually makes sense, because Denny’s fucking sucks. I mean, just go to a fucking I hop or a fucking waffle house.

Why would you be going to a Denny’s in the first place? in matter of fact, there was a drunken donuts or Dunken Dounts I should say right by Denny’s, and it didn’t get destroyed and I asked, “why didn’t you destroy the Dunken Donuts instead?”
I mean Krispy Kremes is so much fucking better.

But don’t worry, a giant ass fucking midget and Ronald Regan lit the place on fire and took a piss on it, grabbed a Canadian person, gave him American bacon, which he then melted and said no like in the wizard of oz, and did crack and shot out to space, where they are living with Wheatly from Portal 2. What a nice ending for that place.

Neon then pulled me on the white dragon and we went off to a concert hall. Oh right, and my floating Nixon pal and Robert as well. We then landed in the concert parking lot, which was full of illegal Mexicans and some illegal Mexicans escorted us to our seats, which somehow Neon had reserved. Don’t understand that, but ok then.

We then were in front row seats and Effil65 was there. They then started to play ‘I’m blue.’Now, I’m a huge fan of that song, so I got up on stage and sang it with them and the blue aliens took me to the planet right next to planet random.

Then Neon grabbed hold onto the ship. So basically, he used me as bait. Nevertheless, what I don’t understand is, how did he know I would go up on stage and sing. Coincidence? I don’t fucking know, it was blue fucking aliens.

Well, then the ship landed and I was then taken to the blue alien stadium, where the song ‘I’m blue’ continued to play.

In addition, surprisingly, as for the instruments that were being played were the Italian army from the ‘80’s stars’ video that effile65 did.

There was also the red fucking balls acting as security guards, and that blue avatar chick from the ‘move your body’ video was there as well.

Nevertheless, the way, my newly founded powers couldn’t be controlled at the moment and it killed the avatar chick. Well, at least the 90’s chick I think I was supposed to know when I watched the video was at least dead.

Well, while this was going on, Neon, Robert, and Nixon were fighting off the blue aliens like in the music video. They were also singing the song ‘I’m blue’ as well.

After they found me on stage, Neon shot a gun in the air, and asked, “where is your blue meanie leader!!!”

the leader then came up on stage and asked what the fuck that we needed from him, because he was raping a blue ho, blue balls, and the avatar people, which included James Camoren.

Man, that is just fucked up right there. Neon then asked, “Do you have my powers?”

the blue guy said no, turned into a raptor from Jurassic Park and killed some of the blue aliens. Neon then said, “let’s go.”

Unfortunately, the crowd members heard Neon, and asked for me to stay.

Well, I wasn’t a fucking singer, so I said no, but I felt bad that they weren’t getting good music, and that if I left, they would have to go back to listening to Taylor Swift music, which if they heard it, they’re explode.

Either it was so awesome, they died, or it was so horrible, they died. Either way, they die. Well, I asked the Italian army behind me and asked if they could play ‘my console’ and ‘back in time.’

The armies response, “we are Italians and we will one day invade your earthly planet and kill you all and eat all of your legs and arms and we will cease to exist, for we don’t have enough intelligence to exist. Or in other words, we are too retarded.”

Which they said in unison and then they all turned into midgets and started playing the requested songs. Well, at least I leaned something that day, that all Italians are midgets.

No wonder they made that Asian theme song for MLP. I also possibly didn’t make sense there, but hey, this chapter doesn’t, so why the fuck not?

In addition, Neon kicked me in the back of the blacklegs and I then teleported to what looked like the camp site from MASH.

Apparently, Neon knew I could not control my breaking the laws of physics ability just yet, so he gave me a little boost to use them and go back to planet random.

Well, we were in the grass fields in that campsite from MASH, and when we saw it, the theme song started to play.

Neon then told me to go down and talk to one of the surgeons down below. I used to watch the show a lot and I knew the characters, however, it’s been a while, and for some reason, this and other things is what I forgot about back on Earth.

I forgot the characters names, so just bare with me. I talked to one of the surgeons in one of the tents and too be honest, it looked like the Vietnam war was still going on in this planet, and this would possibly or possibly will not piss of veterans if they ever read this part of my story.

In addition, I believe it was the Koran War in the show, but as I said before, it’s been a while and I forgotten what it was.

Well, I asked and he told me to put a mask on, to which I then said, “what the fuck did you just say? I’m sorry, but am I not going to fucking infect the person. I mean, I’m fucking eleven feet away from that guy who seems to be suffering from a weird Asian disease. That maybe or maybe not just called the Asian disease on this planet, since it’s fucking random as fuck. so please, can you tell me where my friend Neon’s powers are, since he told me to go down here and ask you guys?”

they then started to cry and kill the guy that was having surgery done on him, and said, “how could my best friends plane be shot down over the sea of Asians. Why dam you!!? Dam you space monkey zombie god!! Dam you!! dam you to HELL!!!.”

He then shot himself, and while the others just fucked and raped the two dead bodies in the room.

Therefore, just to be clear here, what they heard from me was this, “your best friend’s plane was shot down over the sea of Japan. There were no survivors.”

Therefore, we were going by the show basically, but in a fucked up way.

Then Neon suggested on talking with a Vietnamese, or sorry, he said an Asian guy, since he’s Asian and would know where his powers are.

Well, Neon is weird and I wouldn’t question his weirdness. Just let whatever happens with him happen. That is what I do, because there’s no use fighting it.

Well, with luck, an Asian was smart enough, since he did the math correctly and were passed the white people at the guard posts.

The random Asian guy said, “YOU DIE!! YOU DIE NOW!!!”

Then Neon said, “what luck. An Asian guy on planet random, and he’s one of the rarest species on the planet, although on earth, there’s only one and there’s a shit loads of them, but this is a rare Asian. You must approach it slowly, or it’ll get startled and run away. Hello mister Asian guy, I’m not here to hurt. I am your friend. I just need you to answer a question for me. Can you do that Mr. Asian guy?”

Then the guy said, “I KILL YOU FOR HONOR OF MY LEADER, THEWATCHER509!!! I SHALL KILL YOU IN HIS HONOR!!!”

Then Neon asked the questioned, “where is my powers mister Asian. Don’t be scared, I promise I won’t kill you if you if you don’t know answer me in five seconds.”

The guy then said, “FUCK YOU!!!”

Then Neon said to me, “my god. He’s right. I’ve been blind this entire time. It was my old enemy, Kula!! Thanks mister Asian guy! Bless you. Bless you and your Asian soul!”

Then the Asian guy said, “I KILL YOU!!!”

Then Neon killed him and trotted off into the distance. Then, the dead Asian guy’s skin peeled back, revealing a giant lizard that ran into the jungle. What do you know? We’re just being stereotypical here today, aren’t we.

Therefore, according to this planet, all Asian people are really lizards that are disguised as to what we think are Asians. I always knew they were aliens. Oh my god. I’m starting to become a Neon as I’m writing this.

That and I did have the powers of breaking the laws of physics, so I guess it’s making me put it down here. That or the powers are making me be a fucking troll, so technically, the power here is the troll, not me, but then again, know what? Fuck it, let’s move on with life and forgive and forget.

Therefore, what happened next was I saw Neon looking at the ground and stopped me in my tracks and said, “Knight. Don’t move a muscle. It’s a mine molar. It’s an animal that will explode if you move.”

Then Robert walked into the scene and said, “I’m so confused right now you random ponies that I just met. I mean I’m’ supposed to be back in Hollywood, fucking a blonde chick that I paid to rape that I found on Craig’s list and star in Sherlock Holmes 3. So, can you ponies take me home or what? I can give you hookers and money if you do.”

Then Neon responded to that with, “Quick Iron Man. Take this mine molar and save us!”

then Robert said ‘what the fuck’ and the iron man suit start to come to him one by one, as he was being tossed the mine molar. Then mine molar then exploded and sent iron man off into the distance beyond the mountains.

Well, looks like Earth isn’t getting Sherlock Holmes 3 or the Avengers 2 then.

Then Neon kicked me again to a warehouse building, where it was raining outside and the doors to the warehouse was open.

I asked what we were doing here, and he said that ‘he believed his old enemy, Zula had his powers.’

I then went along with it, since I’ve lost all hope here. Then Neon and I walked through the doors and we found Zula, gutting some Canadians that he found on the road.

He then said in a heavy weapon guy’s voice, “after all these years Neon, you finally found me. I’m guessing you’re here to finish what you’ve started all those years ago. Well then, kill me you son of a …”

then Neon killed him. He then said, “I don’t understand. If I killed him, my powers would have returned to me by now. There’s only one other thing that I can do. Quick Knight! To the All Mighty Giant Zune!”

you read right folks. There was a giant fucking Zune, which surprisingly was in the room right next to us. We then walked up to it and it glowed a green bar whenever it talked.

It said to us, “I’m am the all mighty giant Zune. What do you want?”

Neon was about to talk, but I decided to make him shut the fuck up, because everything was so weird today, and I just wanted to go home. So I said, “we’re here to see if you can give my friend here his powers back, from this corpse that we sacrifice to you.”

The Zune said, “well that’s very kind of you guys to do so, but I’ve got like Bill Gates killing and sacrificing people to me, so I really don’t give a fuck. However, I will give your friends power back if you get one of my Zune’s.”

I then said, “what!? No fucking way. Zunes fucking suck. IPods are way better.”

Then Neon whispered into my ear, “good. Good. Resist the Zune.”

I then said,” isn’t there some other way?”

The giant Zune then replied, “no deal. You either take a Zune or get the fuck out, so I may continue to plan a bombing on all the apple stores.”

I then gave in and said, “Fine. Give me a fucking Zune you doucebag.”

The Zune then said, “really? Wow, no one ever buys my shit. Ok then. I’ve got a 4GB, a 25GB, a 100GB a…..”

I then said to shut him the fuck up, “just give me the dam 4GB so I can get the fuck out of here. besides, I’m not even going to use it.”

The Zune then said, “well, here’s your Zune. And I put as many songs that I could and I also have like good music and shit on their like today’s modern music and….”

By the way, he gave me the Zune through a slot or a whatever, he just gave me it.

I then cut him off and said, “let me stop you right there. Now, you’re just wanting me to burn this thing when I get home. So, I hold up my part of the deal, now let’s see yours.”

The Zune then hesitated and said, “Oh right. Sorry. Got carried away because no one takes my Zune’s. Ok, so I’m scanning the body and I can’t give your friends powers back.”

I then asked why and he said, “It’s because he doesn’t have them.”

Then Neon said, “Wait a minute. I know who took it this time. I’m sure this time Knight. Moreover, he’s been under our noises this entire time. Quick Knight! Back to Equestria!”

Neon was about to zoom out, but I stopped him before he could go any farther.

I then said to the Zune, “before we leave, can you take away my powers?”

Then Zune then said, “uh…. no dumbass. I can’t, unless someone equal to your power ability could, but you’re pretty much at the second to highest power there is, so no, but I can give you a container to put the powers in, but you can’t destroy it, nor give it to someone else and it will always go to you.”

I then sighed and said, “Fine, give me the fucking dam container.”

Then the Zune said, “I will, but you have to switch out the 4GB Zune with the 300GB Zune.”

I then said, “Fine then. Give me it so I can go fucking home now.”

The Zune then said in a whisper, “Oh boy. I never got a good customer. Ok, so here, it is and I’ve got you tons of songs on there. And also, here’s the container, and I’m not going to tell you how to fucking use it, but there is the instructions on the container itself, so thanks, friends.”

I then said, “I’m not your fucking friend. Let’s get the fuck off this planet Neon.”

Therefore, we did. I then teleported off the planet and back to Equestria. Yea, I was starting to get used to the powers.

When me and Neon got back to Stalia, there were bunch of dead bodies everywhere.

Their were dead bodies left and right. There were dead bodies’ coming out of the trees man.

There were dead bodies that were big and too small for a rat to eat. There was one dead body and two bodies. There were red dead bodies and blue dead bodies. There were new dead bodies and old dead bodies. They were quite a treat. Moreover, why the fuck am I writing like Dr. fucking Seuss.

Then again, he was good at children book and mostly part of our childhood, but then again, he was a rapist, because all children’s book authors are rapists, because why wouldn’t they do book for children? Confused? So am I, let’s move on.

Therefore, I even found my friends were all dead, except for Wolf. He escaped with Molestia and decided to live out his days at Molestia’s castle and get fucked twenty four/seven.

Well, the predators saw us, and I said ‘run’ to Neon, and I basically followed him to the building where he had been hiding that dead body.

He told me to use my powers to hold up the door so the predators couldn’t get through, and he then walked up to the dead body and said, “So. It was you this entire time that stole my powers.”

I then was like ‘what the fuck’, but then a white orb of light got out of the dead body and it said, “Yes!! It was I that took your powers, and you won’t get it back.”

I then asked, “who the fuck are you!?”

The white orb then said, “I am the orb of blah. I have killed many on many planets. I was going to destroy the wrenched planet random, until Neon stopped me.”

Then Neon said, “I would’ve killed you, but you ate all the fucking Scooby snacks. So hand over the powers, or I’ll use this Asian guy.”

Neon then grabbed an Asian guy out of nowhere.

Then the orb of blah said, “You think an Asian guy can stop me. You haven’t change Neon. Not one bit. You still, after all these long dreadful years, you think a random Asian guy can stop me? Well, you got me; it can stop me, but only in this form. Now, Neon! You have forced me to show my true form!"

Then the orb of blah turned into a hamster that talked. That is fucking right folks, a fucking hamster.

He then continue to talk, which was, “now you can never stop me!!”

Then Neon said, “you monster. How could you be a hamster? Of course, I’ve should’ve seen this coming.”

Then the hamster said, “Yes! Not you, nor you human friend can stop me!!”

Surpassingly, Neon ignored that, which thank my fucking Celestia for that, but then Neon said, “well, I may not be able to stop, and since I don’t have my powers, that even fucks me over even more, but I still have one thing left. Talking to the audience, right audience?”

Neon then gave a wink, while turning his head not to me, nor to the hamster, but what looked like if there was a audience, well, in this case readers, but audience. In other words, you guys that are now reading this part of the chapter. Neon was talking to you not too long ago and winked at you. Basically, breaking the fourth wall.

The hamster then said, “You Selfish fool! You have doomed us all!!” I then said, “What the fuck just happened?”

Then the hamster replied to me, “don’t you know foolish human, that your friend Neon has doomed us all, by breaking the sacred fourth wall. The wall the separates the audience from the show. The wall that is sacred and should never be broken, or all known life will cease to exist!”

Yea, Neon doomed us all. I then asked, “Wait! What about Pinkie Pie!? She always breaks the fourth wall.”

Then Neon replied, “Yes, but she isn’t bounded to planet random, so whenever she breaks the fourth wall, she can never destroy the universe, nor bring the audience members into the show.”

I then asked once more, “show?”

then Neon said, “Yes, show! My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. That is the show that they are watching, which was created by Laruen Faust, although back on Earth, that’s what they think who created it, but they don’t know the truth. Laruen Faust, nor anyone else ever thought up the show. Not even the Bronies. I mean, we can’t even be created by a simple Brony on the computer, writing this out as a story.”

I then said, “I’m so confused right now.”

Then Neon said, “Oh Knight, you don’t have to hide it anymore, I know that you know. I know that you’re not from this universe, and are from Earth. I also know about the portals and TK and Factory Dash, by the way, the tour of the factory was great. I got a coffee mug that says ‘I went to the rainbow factory’ from the gift shop. No, wait that was an alternate universe where the factory did have a tour and they had a gift shop. It was great how they made rainbows and all. I never would’ve thought using ponies would be useful of creating a rainbow. Anyways, I know all about the Brony fandom and you being a Brony.” I was really shocked that Neon knew.

I then said, “Well, my covers fucked. No wait? You said earlier that humans aren’t good, so why haven’t you killed me yet?”

Then Neon said, “Oh Knight, you really don’t know, do you? Well, I would tell you, but I’m not allowed to, because the
universe told me not to, and that they’re going to do it. Anyways, you don’t know do you, about the show? I mean, what did you think of our existence Knight? that we are just part of some story?"

SOMEWHERE IN THE REAL WORLD, WHERE MORGAN FREEMAN IS NARRORATING THE STORY NOW.
(Note: I had orginally made a joke about me and this story's existance, but I have changed my mind it is now delted and forever lost. Although it is still on it's orginal document, but that is a different story.)
BACK IN STALIA WHERE MORGAN FREEMAN ISN’T NARROATING
I just sat there thinking of a possibility Morgan Freeman might of came into the story, but ok.

Neon continued to talk and said, “I mean, come on Knight? What do you think of this existence? I mean, what Laruen Faust’s ideas were, they were not true at all. The ideas that she had for the show weren’t based off her thoughts and ideas, but based off something else that is completely different. The show is really based off of is….”

Then the universe exploded. Well, Neon did break the fucking fourth wall, so I should’ve expected that coming. Neon and I were basically the only living things in the non-existent area.

Well, we were floating at random and Neon had a smile on his face and said, “My powers are finally mine once more!”

then, there was a big bang. Basically saying, Neon is god of this universe. In addition, that means I’m the co-creator of this universe Well then, that’s surprising to me.

We then ended up back in Stalia, minutes before the attack from the predators. Neon and I were the only ones that had memory of the attack ever happening.

We were in my home and Neon kicked down the door and killed all the predators at once. That and Neon found another dead body that he can keep secret from me and shit, so, Neon wasn’t completely sad, as long as this dead body doesn’t turn out to be one of Neon’s enemies again, I guess it’s ok.

In addition, everyone in Stalia questioned what the fuck Neon just did. Even my friends did, and even they know him the most. Even Classy Jack.

Yea, remember that fucking name? If so, I’m surprised, because I was wondering if anyone of you remembered that full name. Well, do not know what I was trying to prove there, but Neon saved us all.

Well, I saw all this happened from my house, and I just said fuck it and I went to sleep. Then Neon walked through my door, and talked to me about shit.

He also asked me if I wanted to go back to Planet Random, but I said fuck off.

He then said ok and he told me he would see me for winter wrap up in 10 minutes. Yea, winter wrap up was that same day. Apparently, we had snow.

Chapter18: the day of winter wrap up

Well, it was five more minutes until I had to get up for Winter Wrap up.

I’ve been so tired lately from all the fucking adventures. I mean, first, there was with the sleepover, then the black guy pony thing, then the hangover one. Then there was the parasprites, and not too long ago, planet random.

I was really tired out by now, and didn’t want to go on another adventure. However, that wasn’t all. When I went to sleep for a little bit, I dreamt of Laruen Faust OC pony again.

However, this time around, I woke up only three minutes into the dream. I couldn’t go back to sleep.

I mean, I’m a fucking badass, who has seen things that no one else hasn’t seen before. I had good friends. The mane six knew me. I knew the rulers and was the personal student of one. I had a timber wolf named Wolf. I even had a fucking tiger and been on many adventures. So why can’t I sleep at night?

In fact, later that night, when I went to sleep, I didn’t sleep at all. I couldn’t go to sleep because I kept on having that dream.

It was like a nightmare. I mean, it wasn’t, but it kept taunting me, as if I’m missing something. I didn’t know what to do.

At night, I just went down to the basement and walked around, trying to make sense of that dream that I kept having.

I couldn’t shake the feeling off about that dream that I had. It kept getting worse every time I dreamt it. I mean, I didn’t sleep for days on end. In fact, years. Not kidding you, years.

Not until when I figured everything out and what that dream meant, I was able to get back to sleep. Although, I would never dream of being on a planet of beer and weed again, but of those nightmares that I had before coming to this universe. My Alicorn days or the fall or with TF. They were like nightmares to me.

Therefore, after I woke up from the dream three minutes ago, I laid there on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.

Wolf wasn’t there, nor was Molestia. I was all alone, and I rather felt scared of being alone for some reason. Just being alone with my thoughts about the dream kept scaring me.

I didn’t know what kept scaring me, but something did. I continued to lay there until Wolf came running in and telling me it was winter wrap up.

Strange, the roles had been reversed. In the show, Twilight was the one excited for it. I mean, she even fucking woke up three in the fucking morning for that shit, but now Wolf is excited for it and I’m not.

However, Wolf told me it was important for him. You see, when he was living in the Everfree, he and the animals as were also too had a winter wrap.

They even sang the song every year. However, he was going to help the Everfree and he wanted me to help as well, since I was basically the king of the Everfree or something. What? Don’t remember I was king? Well, I mentioned it like once or twice. If you recall back in Chapter seven, I mentioned it.

Well, then Wolf told me he was going to meet me in the Everfree. I then said fuck it to myself and continued to lie there, however, the universe of course still wanted to be a fucking doucebag to me, and fucking teleported me to the only lake that wasn’t frozen for the day and landed on an iceberg.

I fell into the fucking water and felt like shit. Dam the fucking universe.

Why the flaming fuck did the universe had to fucking to that me!? I mean, the fucking universe could’ve just put me in the dam snow!!

Apparently, the universe knew I was its enemy; however, it still had plans for me, so it decided to play dirty. Well, one can play at that game. Really, one. I don’t know how I could have ever gotten back at the fucking universe.

well, I struggled to hold onto an iceberg, and was floating in the fucking coldest water you have ever floated in. as I grabbed hold of the iceberg, not too far from me was a medium sized ship that looked like the Titanic and it was sinking.

Ok, so we’re on a lake and there’s a fucking Titanic boat that’s fucking on fire and is sinking, with no icebergs around. Yea. Hundreds of ponies lost their lives and basically jumped ship and froze to death.

Well, the land was like three feet away from them, but they didn’t even try to swim towards land. They just took the water and died.

I even asked one of the ponies that jumped ship and jumped next to me and he said, “I don’t want to die. This water is so fucking freezing cold. I’m going to die here.”

I then asked him, “excuse me Mr.Dumbass, but you do realize that you’re only three feet from land. I mean, you can latterly just walk towards it and you’ll be fine.”

He then said, “Don’t ruin the moment you fucking doucebag.”

First off, it seems like these ponies were emos and they wanted to die. Maybe it’s a cult. An Asian cult, where the Asians had brought shame upon themselves? No, couldn’t be. The Asians would’ve done it with swords.

So, my guess it’s Greeks or is it Russians. Maybe just people who just want to have a good time and shit…. I’m fucking lost now.

Well, whatever, and second, I forced the guy’s head underwater because he called me a fucking doucebag.

Well, I wish I wouldn’t have done that, because he talked underwater trough the air bubbles and said, “yes, yes, yes! Don’t stop!”

He was fapping underwater. When I saw the cum come out, I immediately got out of the lake.

After I did that, I found a Jack and Rose moment, if you recall the part at the end where Jack was in the water and died.

It was basically a Leonardo Dcaprio pony and Kate Winslet moment.

I saw them talking and shit and having a long ass conversation about how would they fuck each other.

I then pushed Leonardo’s head underwater until he died, took his body and gave it to Neon because apparently, he was building up a dead body that he or someone randomly found outside his home.

I told him I found this dead body at a park, where a dog was fucking a leaf, while a cat shot lasers out of his eyes while a polar bear fucked a cow while singing old McDonald had a farm.

When Neon heard that part, Neon said, “I’m so proud of you. You are starting to turn out like an ordinary citizen of Planet Random.”

I did wish that wasn’t true, but I’ll talk about that part another time.

Well, anyway, when Kate saw what I did to the guy, I said, “you have two fucking choices. You either, A, you’re a fucking witness and that means I have to kill you, or B, you can shut the fuck up about how he’s dead an all. Besides, he was doucebag and a crack head that had AIDS and shit.”

Also, she believed me on that part. Well then, I guess it is true that blonde-haired people are stupid. Well then, that thirteen year old on Wikipedia was right.

Too bad I killed him after I asked him a question about where do I find a cretin type of fish at, and he said, ‘your Mom.’

First of all, that was horrible, and at the time, I had my powers from the universe and injected myself with off the grid powers and killed him and blamed it on the Kevin Bacon, because we all know he’s a pedophile, right?

Well, after the blonde bitch disappeared, and that is right. She disappeared and was never seen again for a while, I went to the main part of Stalia, and was curious how they do winter wrap up here.

The town was also mostly founded by earth ponies, so everything was the earth pony way.

Well, when I got to the center of town, a small little section went to black, and a spotlight came on with Forest in it, and the winter wrap up song begun.

However, since it’s the same fucking song, there’s no point for me putting down the lyrics. However, there was a difference. The song was pretty much like Winter Wrap up cover by ‘all levels at once.’

(Note: go to 6:51 for the Winter Wrap Up song. for some odd reason, on All Levels At once's channel, he for some reason deleted it and this is the best that I could find.)

In addition, while they were singing, if you recall Twilights part in the song, the universe also made me sing and trot along the dirt trail.

However, I knew all the lyrics already, but I didn’t even fucking feel like singing, but the universe had to be an asshole to me and made me do it.

After the song was over, I said out load to myself, “wow. Apparently, Stalia did much better than Ponyville. Maybe it’s because Stalia has more of a musical budget then Ponyville. That would explain the techno and shit.”

Then, I heard rustling from the bushes next to me. I took a closer look and Randy Newman was there.

He had a note pad, writing lyrics down for a new horrible song for Disney. I asked him, “Randy Newman? Why the fuck are you behind these shitty ass bushes?”

He then said, “Don’t blow my cover. I’m remaking winter wrap up. Now what would be a good tempo? I guess just like everyone of my songs then.”

Well, I kind of ignored Randy Newman being there and all, and I decided to help Jack with the birds nest. Well, not decided to, but the fucking asshole of a universe teleported me to Jack.

When I teleported there, Jack didn’t even fucking notice me. He later did and the words that were forced to come out of my mouth is that I wanted to help.

He then gave me the supplies to make the nest, and I ended up making a sign that says ‘fuck you birds.’

Then Jack said, “it needs a little more work. Maybe if you add bitches after the ‘you’, it’ll work.”

Apparently, Jack was on my side on the thing here and about the birds. Then, Jack took it away from me and started to add shit to it.

Then Wolf found me and dragged me to the Everfree to help him out.

When I got there, the animals were about to sing winter wrap up. However, this was completely different, because the animals started to sing in English and it was a slow Irish type song. It was quite interesting.

After that song was over, I asked Wolf, “So what’s up with the animals and …..”

He then cut me off and said, “They only speak English when they sing the song. Don’t ask why.”

Well, then, apparently animals could talk here. Well, whatever, doesn’t fucking matter to me.

Well, instead of building nests, the animals made a birdhouse out of wood. Well then, at least they are good artisan.

Of course, how did they get the wood, well, all I saw what they used was a bloody axe. Apparently, the animals killed some campers not too far from the building of the birdhouses area.

Strange. I could’ve sworn that was Neon’s doing, which it was. He was working with animals. Yes, Neon is a killer now.

Well, I was then was supposed to help Wolf with the building. Well, every animal made a birdhouse, except for me.

I made a redneck southern bird home. What happened was, once that birdhouse was made, a redneck bird flew in, grabbed a shotgun and said in a southern tone, “You better get off my fucking dam property. It took me eight years to save enough money from my welfare checks!”

yes, the bird I built for was a lying doucebag fucker bird. I later killed that bird, and unbelievably, there were bird police, and I pinned the blame on Tom Cruise.

I know he wasn’t in this universe, but the birds believed me. Well, I had to blame it on somebody. Tom is a scientologist member, so I had to. Besides, not too many jokes towards scientologists are made every day, but apparently, History is made every day.

This reminds me of something, note to self, show monster quest show of slenderfetus, and watch episode of it.

Speaking of slenderfetus, I was minding my own business besides Wolf, and slenderfetus popped out of fucking nowhere. Yea, he returns once more.

He then said, “Yea!!! Dada is here for Winter Wrap up. I’ve got a present for you dada!!”

Slenderfetus then dragged a pony who was tied up, beaten to a bloody pulp, and was begging for mercy.

I had pretty much wide eyes when I saw this and to make this even more disturbing for you people, slenderfetus killed it in the most gruesome way possible, by making it do the Achy Breaky Heart dance.

Oh god why!? Oh the humanity of that dance! Why did the fucking 90’s even have to make such a horrid dance?

Well, the pony’s head then exploded and all of his brains and blood then went onto my fucking face and mouth. Well, at least it’s better than having pinkies period in my mouth.

I then said to slenderfetus, “ohhhhhhhhhhhh…… how thoughtful of you….uhhhhhhh……. son? I have a gift for you too……..let me just go and ……”

I ran like hell back to Stalia. I didn’t even want to look back.

Well, from what Wolf has told me, when I left running like a little bitch, the animals just ignored slenderfetus, while slenderfetus stood there waiting for me.

However, slenderfetus saw more prey, and he went after that prey and played a little game with him. Which was to collect eight pages of him.

I went back to Stalia, and I came across Neon breaking up the ice so the lakes could melt. He was ice-skating it. I was surprised he wasn’t setting fire to the ice, while having robots fuck a cow while doing some 80’s shit.

Neon saw me and asked if I wanted to help him. Well, I was going to say, “Fuck you,” but I said yes since he was actually doing something normal.

He gave me my ice skates and I put them on. Now, back on earth, I wasn’t such a good skater, but I was able to use a spell that I made myself to make me skate better.

I know I wasn’t supposed to use magic, but really, who the fuck was going to rat me out?

Forest was high in the sky doing cloud busting, Jack was doing god knows what, Arrell was basically making sure the animals breaded, and yes, instead of waking up the animals, he were making sure the first thing the animals did when they got up was to fuck each other. That sick fucker.

As for Mac, I could see him wanting to rat me out, but he was a southern redneck doing southern redneck things. With Neon, well, he’s random and shit. Besides, he wasn’t breaking the laws of physics to melt the ice.

Well, I ice-skated and I broke through the ice. When I did, I found the lost city of Atlantis and New Orleans.

I couldn’t believe it myself either. Therefore, this is what the dead black people of New Orleans were at the bottom of a lake in the MLP universe.

Well, the next thing you know, I came back up to the surface and I could not find Neon anywhere. Well, I then saw another ship in the lake, Neon was right by it, the ship hit him, and the ship sunk to the bottom of the lake. So apparently, that titanic ship that sank earlier, that ship hit a Neon.

That also meant that Neon was the man of steel. I was afraid of Neon at that moment and I slowly went back down under the water. I didn’t want to die that day.

As I did, the water felt a little bit warmer. Then there was a current and I was brought to the murky swamps of the Everfree.

I then saw Wolf and I asked him, “Wolf. What the fuck just happened? Is the changeling queen here, just like in the problem with magic fan fic?”

Wolf then said, “No. I just used those navi things from legend of Zelda to teleport you here.”

I then said, “But those things don’t even do jack-shit.”

Wolf then said, “Yes, but this was the MLP universe, so I guess the magic helped them do it.”

Then, right next to Wolf was the navi things from Zelda, and it kept on saying ‘hey.’

Then Link came the fuck out of nowhere and killed those things with is badass shield and said, “I’m fucking tired of you fucking things!!! Go to fucking hell!!! Next time, I’m taking the fucking bird. Sure he has AIDS, but no gives a fucking dam.”

He then walked away into a portal and back to his game. I then wondered where the fuck are these portals popping out. I later asked TK, and he says sometimes portals randomly open up, like a short cut of not having to use off the grid portals. Just like that griffin guy.

Well, after Link left, I asked Wolf what he needed me for, and he said, “We’re going to melt the ice over the rest of the swamp. That and we can eat those fishes.”

I then looked at the other animals and they were licking their lips. Either they are pedophiles or they are really starving for those fishes.

I also saw the fishes under the ice, and they were grabbing spears and shit, as if they were going to war.

They then blew up the ice and the animals and the animals of the swamp started to kill each other and fight.

I then slowly walked backwards, while Wolf was really killing those fishes. It was something like out of saving private Ryan.

Oh, and they were using walkie-talkies as for guns. I do have to admit, nice reference those animals did, although, did the south park creators do it or was it George lucus?

Speaking of him, as I was about to re-enter Stalia, I saw George raping a storm trooper, while Steven Spielberg was jacking off to a naked Indiana Jones. South Park was right, they are rapists and homos.

Well, I then re-entered Stalia once again, and I then went to Arrell, who was making sure the animals were getting up and making sure that they were fucking.

He had seen me, and he said, “Oh hey Knight. Aren’t you supposed to be doing something?”

I then told him, “Well, Arrell. I’m a fucking unicorn that really doesn’t give a fuck about this town. So why the fuck would I want to help?”

He then said to me, “Yea. I would too not give a flying fuck, but I’m too busy making sure the animals are good and are fucking to even care about it. So, you want to help me wake up the animals then?”

I then agreed to his offer, and I went to a cave. I said ‘yes’, because I always wanted to try something. I didn’t grab a bell, although, I was supposed to get a record player and play sexy music so the animals can hump the fuck out of each other, but instead, I did this.

I poked my head in, and said, “Wake the Fuck up!!”

That certainly woke up the animals, but it was John Wayne.

He then said, “Will you keep it down out there. I’m trying to get some sleep and live in hell in peace.”

I then had a confused look on my face, and I saw inside the cave was a hell.

Latterly, a hell, and Satan said, “Hey! Keep it down!! I don’t want fucking John Wayne to wake up anymore! He so fucking annoying!!”

I then took my head out, and to avoid that ever happening again, I took a gun out, pointed in the air, and shot a few bullets.

I then said out loud, “Every fucking animal that is not John Wayne, wake the fuck up!!”

well, all the animals woke up and Arrell was sort fucking pissed off at me, but when he came close to me, all the animals jumped on him.

In fact, they humped his body, while being pissed off at the same time.

Well, then I slowly walked backwards once more and I fell into a rabbits hole. When I fell, I ended up in the Everfree.
How it worked that time, I will never know, but I have a feeling it was the Chinese.

Then Wolf spotted me and said, “There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

When Wolf said that, I had thought of the dream again. I wanted to stop thinking about it, but for some reason, I thought about that dream when I heard those three words.

‘There you are.’ I didn’t know what it meant, but it meant something. It had a connection to my dream somehow, but I did not know what. ‘There you are, there you are, and there you are.’

I can’t get that out of my head now, but it had a meaning to it. What did it mean is something for you to find out later.

Well, I tried to shake that feeling off again, and concentrate on the task at hand. In other words, waking up the Canadian ponies.

Ok, they were not exactly like a pony, but they were Canadian animals to me, so I cause they were Canadians, but they were not civilized citizen, but just an animal.

Well, what the animals did was slit their throats and skin them to sell on the bear black market. No wonder ponies fear the Everfree. They are afraid that they’re going to be killed slowly.

In addition, just to let you know how that little war went with the animals, the animals won against the fishes, but there were 8,000 casualties. There was also a memorial service for those who had fallen during the war.

Well, I slowly went back to Stalia. It was a little hard and I got lost a little, but I ended up on Mac’s farm. He was basically in charge of clearing the fields so he could plant the seeds and shit.

Well, he saw me and said hi and shit and I told him I wanted to help. Well, to be honest, the universe was going to make me do it anyways, and besides, he’s a redneck, and you’ve got to love those rednecks. I don’t know what I just fucking said.

Well, I got into a plow and holy fucking shit it was hard to push. I was going to use magic, but I remembered that Mac is strict when it came to using magic, I used invisible magic, where the magic was still there, but invisible.

Well, I did that, and I was controlling the plow more then what Twilight ever could have. However, the universe just had to fuck it all up by steering my plow and killing ponies and making more snow fall onto the farmland.

Well, at least I don’t have to cover up and burn the dead bodies, because ponies will think the snow killed them. Well, I crashed through the snow and ended up on the other side back in the Everfree forest.

In addition, Mac was really pissed at me with the plow and shit, since he found out that I used magic.

Speaking of other things that I forgot to tell you about is that Nixon head thing. Yes, I have to bring it up again and what happened to it. It went into that container that the Zune gave me, so whenever I use the powers, I’ll have my own personal Nixon pet.

Well, anyways, Wolf saw me go through the snow he looked mighty pissed at me.

He then said, “Knight! You are supposed to be helping us clean up winter here in the forest. Now come along, we need your help with cleaning up the snow.”

Well, I saw all the animals picking up the snow by rolling it and making it into snowballs. I rolled some snow into balls as well, but with my magic.

Here in the Everfree, the animals don’t give two shits and one flaming fuck if you use magic or not. It’s as if they are not Muslims. Of course, you must be wondering, where the fuck did, we put all the snow at in the end?

Well, we put near that black guy pony’s hut. That bitch was also pissed off, and always thought it was little fillies from Ponyville that has been doing it every year to her.

I did over hear her saying how she wants to beat the living shit out of them, but she calms down and said she will get revenge one day on them. Well, black people always do get their revenge one way or another.

In addition, it seems that the animals are quite racist.

We had some snow left over, and wolf said, “Hey! I’ve got an idea. Let’s bury the little colt over there that’s sleeping by the Everfree forest and see if he can get out or not.”

Yea, apparently, with Twilight’s help, Ponyville got done with their winter wrap up within a hour or so.

In addition, the bear talked in bear talk, and suggested something.

Wolf pretty much understood him and said, “What the fuck is wrong with you!? Why the fuck do you always want to slit someone’s throat? You are a sick fuck. That’s what you are.”

As Wolf was saying this, I had that thought about the dream again. This time, it was when Wolf said the words, ‘sleeping colt’ those two words boggled my mind for days and I still couldn’t figure out what it meant.

‘Sleeping colt, sleeping colt, sleeping colt.’ What did that word mean was something I was trying to figure out. ‘There you are’ and ‘sleeping colt’ were the two things that I had to go on, but it tortured me more then intrigue me, because I couldn’t sleep at all because of that. I do know what it means now, but for you guy’s, I gave you guys clues, so there you go.

Well, as wolf was talking to the fucked up bear, I slowly backed away. I couldn’t take the thoughts anymore. I needed to go back so I could calm down. I didn’t know what to do, but I just needed silence to figure it out.

However, Wolf saw me leaving and I heard him yell, “Dam it Knight! Why the fuck do you keep leaving!”

He then went after me; however, I was long gone before he caught up to me. I eventually got back to my own home, and locked the doors and shit. I just needed silence to think about those words.

However, the silence only made those words more meaningful to me and to the dream.

Well, eventually Wolf was looking for me around Stalia, and I saw Forest on the ground talking to Mac, saying, “Forest! we need you to melt the dam fucking snow, so we can remove the dead bodies so I can put them on Applejacks farm so she can be locked away for it.”

Then forest said, “Got it!”

Then Arrell came up to Forest and said, “Forest! I need you to not melt the snow, so I can freeze these bastard animals so they die of the cold.”

Then Forest said, “Got it… wait. Why do I smell animal semen on you?”

Then Arrell said, “Well, how do you know what animal semen smells like?”

Then Forest said, “I kind of stalked Rainbow dash for a while, and when her pet turtle, tank looks at her, he jizzs all over the place, and when I stalked her once, I was by her turtle and it jizzed in my face.”

Well, then, I always knew that fucking turtle was a pervert. I am sure that one time when he licked rainbow’s face, he came.
That and I believe that turtle is retarded, so I guess it’s alright that the turtle is doing that.

Then Wolf came over to the guys and said, “Hey! Forest! Have you seen Knight around? He needs to help me and the animals of the Everfree cleanup winter.”

Then Forest said, “Wait a second. Help you and the animals? He shouldn’t be helping you guys. He should be helping us ponies, his own kind.”

Then Wolf said, “Yea, well, you know what, he’s the fucking king of the Everfree fucking free, and he has to help us.”

Then forest said, “Wait? King of the Everfree?”

Then Wolf replied with, “Yea. He can pretty much control the animals and make them do whatever he wants them to, so he’s pretty much the king of it. That and for some reason, they bow down to him from time to time, and we made sure there was no black pony around when they bowed to us.”

Then forest said, “Oh. Well that makes a whole lot of fucking sense. But you can’t have him!”

Then they all started to complain, until the mayor stepped in, who is a weird bitch most of the time, but this time around, she was actually normal, and said, “Stop it!! I didn’t want this to happen!! I wanted this year to go perfect and be on time for spring!! I mean, there’s not a single bird nest even made, but instead there’s a whole bunch of signs that says, ‘FUCK YOU BIRDS.’ The ice has been melted over the lakes, but the lakes have been set on fire. The animals has been doing nothing but Cumming all over the place, while the clouds are only shaped into words that says, ‘we are better than Ponyville, fuck you.’ In addition, the farm has only planted dead bodies. This is the worst winter wrap up ever!”

Then Forest punched her and said while doing so, “Fuck you Bitch!!”

They then continued to argue and shit, which I then stepped in and said, “Hey!! Every pony shut the Fuck up!!! Now, I know it doesn’t matter if I help Wolf or not. What matters is that we finish winter wrap up, so we can all enjoy it. Therefore, we don’t have to live in the cold and we can enjoy the scenery of spring. So what do you guys say? I mean, please, so Twilight doesn’t have to fucking come here and ask why the fuck are there a bunch of dead fucking bodies every where? That, and if it makes you fell better, we can dump all the snow in Ponyville.”

Then Mac said, “Hey! He has a good point! ATTACK!!!!”

Then the animals and the ponies of Stalia started to fight each other, in a battle that took all day and trough Luna’s night.

Eventually, Twilight did come to check up on me once again, and she had to have her friends come and help to clean up winter, while every pony and animal in the Everfree fight to the death.

In addition, the outcome of it was 300 casualties. Wolf even had a war journal for it. The next morning, the fighting stopped, but of course I heard all of the battle throughout the night because like I said before, because of that dream, I couldn’t sleep at all.

Well, the whole town and me came together and said how proud they were for cleaning up winter, which I then thought, maybe they never noticed that Twilight and her friends came.

Then Randy fucking Newman came the fuck out of nowhere with a fucking piano and started singing winter wrap up, but in his own way.

Winter wrap up,
It’s so fine and dandy.
Winter wrap up,
Cleaning up snow and shit.
Winter wrap up,
Planting seeds for food.
Winter wrap up, is the most wonderful time of the year!!
It also means a rhino will eat up your parents!
There is also competition of cleaning up winter,
Because its preparing for spring!
So the birds can piss you off,
With their singing.
And you can enjoy the warm waters,
In the spring lakes.
And of course giant peaches can grow and shit.
While there’s talking toys,
That gets eaten up by a rhino one day.
Because its winter wrap up,
Its fine and dandy!
And your parents will be eaten up by a rhino one day!

Yea, that song was fucking annoying as shit. But then, slenderfetus came and said to me, “There you are dada! Where’s my present!?”

I then pointed to Randy Newman and said, “uhhh….. here’s your present. A Randy Newman.”

Then slenderfetus jumped up and down and grabbed Randy Newman, while saying, “Yea!!! Randy Newman!!”

He then dragged him into the Everfree forest, which sadly, he wasn’t killed, but taken to be a friend of slenderfetus. Randy newman’s last words for the time being was, “You haven’t seen the last of Newman!”

Then we all laughed at that. I mean, I laughed pretty fucking hard, because, I mean, yea right, like Newman will ever comeback and….. he does comeback.

Yea, unfortunately for us, slenderfetus never wanted to kill him. He just kept him as a pet. Yea, I would’ve called slenderfetus my son if he had killed him, but since he didn’t do it, I just continued to fucking hate him and shit, while being mentally afraid of him of course.

I mean, who wouldn’t be afraid of slenderfetus and shit. Besides, he isn’t no child of mine, because if he was, he would’ve agreed with me and killed Newman right there on the spot, but nope, so that’s not my boy.

Strange, now I’m thinking about that awful movie of that’s my boy now, with Adam Sandler. In fact, I’ve been to a universe where it was just horrible, where ‘That’s My Boy’ won the academy Award for best picture.

It was a dark universe, and If I recall, the scariest of all the universes that I have been too.

Well, after we all laughed, I went back home, along with Wolf, and the winter in the Everfree was eventually cleaned up, but it evolved in a lot of ponies getting their throats slit while they were sleeping. Don’t ask how, but those animals are fucking psychopaths I tell you.

Of course, as for the dream thing, I still had problems with it and I still could not get to fucking sleep. However, whenever I closed my eyes for a while, as in just wishing I could go back to sleep again, I see an island out in the middle of the ocean.

It also seemed like the ocean was endless and didn’t lead to nowhere at all, but only had that one island that was upon the ocean.

On the island, there’s a cliff and the beach and a arch like shape of a rock formation, along with a cave. Sitting upon the cliff, sits a castle.

I never knew what it was at first, but it was there. Of course, I see it whenever the sun is setting or it’s nighttime and the stars are out nice and bright.

I even hear a tune in my head, which seems like its heaven music or a song that would belong in heaven, because I hear a harp and violins and mostly a classical song, with a trumpets I guess.

On the beach, I see Laruen’s OC pony, just looking at the stars. I’ve always questioned that, as too why is she looking up at the stars.

I also saw a pony or a child underneath her wing. I could never make out whom the pony is, nor could I ever make a description of it, but the child is just under her wing.

They are both looking up at the stars and I cannot tell who it is. In addition, I know for one thing, it’s not Celestia or Luna, because if it was Celestia, I would’ve been able to see her, since she has a white coat and all.

With Luna, well, she has a flowing mane and I would’ve been able to spot that real easily, since its wavy and pretty much blends into the night and all.

I could also see come castle in the distances. As for what they were for, I couldn’t tell who were they were for, or who occupied them.

I even saw in the center of the island, a tower of some sort. Like a connection to the entire castles. To say, for those who all lived in those castles, they would all meet up there.

I could even hear seagulls from time to time and sometimes see them.

However, that one child still mystified me. I mean, whom it could be you might ask, well, I’ll leave that up to you for now, but it was haunting me, who was that child.

As I said, I couldn’t make out its coat color or mane or anything. It was just there, under Laruen OC pony’s wings.

Sometimes, I could even feel like that child was staring at me, as if he knew I was there, looking at him and the Alicorn.

It felt creepy in a way, but at the same time, it’s like I knew who he was, but I didn’t know who he was, because I couldn’t look at him in detail, nor do I know any pony child at all that would be most likely would be under that OC pony’s wing.

From time to time, I also saw the pony sleeping under Laruen OC’s wing. It looked like he was dreaming of good dreams, while the OC was just looking at the child.

Sometimes, those stars mystified me as well, because they looked like constellations, the ones that Twilight would be familiar with the stars.

However, the OC pony was adding to the stars and making them, well, from time to time I saw it. When I saw that happen, I saw her looking at a book, as if it with old tales and she was adding characters from those ancient tales to the skies as constellations.

Sometimes, I saw no one on the beach, as if it was abandoned, but the ponies were still there, but in the castle and sometimes, they were not there at all.

However, whenever they were not there, that cave I told you, every night, I see that cave with light in it, as if someone as fire going on inside it. In fact, I can see someone inside it.

With this one, I could make out whom it was and all I have to describe the pony was an anime character like pony or something from Japanese like character.

I could even see drawings on the walls that he made. Even he stared at me, as if I was right there also looking at him.

He just stood there and one time, he actually came up to me, raised his hoof to me, and smiled at me. He even said a few words, but I couldn’t make them out.

He knew I was there, because there was one word, however that I could make out and it was Knight. Sure, it could mean the night sky or something, but why would he be just staring at me instead up at the sky?

One time, he pointed at the castle and continued to smile. Then, after a while, at night, sometimes, he would just disintegrate and be carried off by the wind, as if he was a sprit or something. Whenever I open my eyes, after what I had seen, I’m still in my home.

Either in the basement or in the living room, sitting down at my couch while Wolf is being either molested by Molestia or sleeping with her.

while I just sit there in the dark in the front, trying to make what I had saw in that vision when I close my eyes for a while, trying to get away from those nightmares.

Therefore, I just continue to sit there and think, and sometimes, I just get scared even more from the silence in the room, then in the dreams.

Or
(Yes, I have another alternate ending, however with this one, it’s short and sweet.)

Well, I just came back from Planet Random and I am tried as fuck. I just decided to lay there go to sleep.

However, its fucking Winter wrap up and every pony, including Wolf wants me to help, but I said fuck you to their faces and they left me be. Even the fucking universe doesn’t fuck with me, but possibly because of all the shit I’ve been through and the universe is giving me a fucking brake. Fucking good.

Well, I lay there, sleeping, however, I keep hearing complaining and it eventually gets to a fucking point, where I storm outside and yell at them to shut the fuck up.

What I did then is grab a beer bottle and a lighter, and spit the beer through the lighter, and it melted the fucking snow within seconds.

Also the ice and other shit.

I then grab a whole bunch of fucking sticks, put them by the fucking trees and said, “Here! the fucking birds can build their own fucking nests!”

As for the fucking seeds, well I am not no fucking Johnny apple fucking seed, so I just let them handle it, while go back to fucking bed. THE FUCKING END.

Just to let you know, i've been posting these chapters up at 1 or 2 in the fucking morning. i've also been working on other stories and chapters till 4 in the morening. just thought that would be intersting to say since a lot of work has been done on this story so far.

Chapter 19: the revenge of a pony who didn’t get a ticket

Ok, I will be serious with you. I don’t know how to start off this chapter. It’s hard to explain where to start, but I guess I’ll start here.

It was a few days after Winter Wrap up and all, and the drams kept getting worse. I mean, I didn’t even try to dream, and I still couldn’t handle it.

It was almost driving me to the brink of insanity. I kept going to my basement every night and working on more weapons and shit, but I would always trot back and forth, because I couldn’t get those dreams out of my fucking head.

Even that fucking island was starting to get to me. I also kept asking to myself, why were they smiling at me. Why the fuck are they smiling at me!? I couldn’t get it out of my head.

I even started to hear voices in my head, as if I was going insane. However, those visions that I had was getting to me.

Why oh why were they fucking smiling at me. Sure, it’s not bad that they are, but what I’ve I done and who are they. It’s like if they know me. I don’t know who that anime pony is, nor did I ever meet the OC pony.

It’s like she knew me in way. I don’t know them, because I never met them in my fucking dam life. That island with that anime pony though, seemed to know whom I am, but why was he pointing to that dam fucking castle. Why!?

Was there something there for me? Did it hide a secret that I needed to find. Was Lauren trying to guide me?

I kept asking many questions that needed answer. Who are they and why were they coming to my dreams or whenever I close my eyes every time?

However, that island though, I saw something like that, or a similar feeling that I had towards something like that when I was a child.

When I was about four or five, I was clueless to this world. I questioned everything, but I also had dreams and fantasies as well. I never imagined that island, but I feel like it had a connection to my childhood in Japan.

I mean, I was born in Japan cause my dad worked aborad and we moved from place to place, at least as far as I can remember that far back at least. some details might be fuzzy there. It just seemed like that fucking island has something to do with everything.

That stars as well, as if it had some kind of connection to me. What were they and I just never understood. In addition, that mother fucking child.

Who was he dam it!? Who was he!? He keeps looking at me, as if he expects me to do something say something, but what am I supposed to do.

Even Wolf at the time was starting to get worried about me. I mean, I was going to the basement every dam night, night sleeping at all, working on shit, while trotting back and forth talking to myself.

Even Molestia noticed this and offered me to molest me so I could relax, but I just ignored them. Ignored them as if they didn’t existed and if talked them, I would see myself as a crazy pony.

Therefore, Wolf and Molestia just doesn’t bother me at all. I was even considering going to Twilight about this. I was also thinking Celestia as well, but I knew it wouldn’t end well, because I see her and Luna in my dreams.

As with Twilight, I pushed that idea aside, because I know it won’t end well with her either, because she’ll get Celestia involved.

So I just continued to ramble on and talking to myself to calm me down. Sometimes, I go dead silence, but whenever that happens, the room is nothing but pure silence.

In addition, when that happens, I hear voices in my head. I then just yell and scream at the top of my lungs, telling those voices to stop.

At one point, I went so mad, that I destroyed a few years worth of work down in my basement.

Sometimes, I hear this song in my head, and it sounds like its being singed, but I can’t make out the words to it. However, the tone and the melody of it were familiar to me. It went something like this.
(Note: I couldn't find the song melody, without giving the lyrivs away. so, you'll just find out in the end of the chapter what it is.)

At the time, I couldn’t remember what it was, but it was a tune that I remember what my parents singed to me when I was merely but a child.

For some reason, when I heard just the melody to it, it calmed me down. It was soothing actually and I had a smile on my face when I heard it.

I even felt like someone close to me was singing it, trying to keep me safe, as if I matter to this certain person or pony. I really couldn’t tell anymore.

That song helped me so much, I even came up with an idea to help me with the dreams. It wouldn’t get rid of the dreams, however, it would keep my thoughts off it and help me relax and make me forget it even exists.

At the time, I came up with this idea when it was nighttime and I was in the living room. I quickly ran to my basement to start working on it, and I did the math and everything and I started a machine that would make the stuff for me.

Of course, it was going to be in a syringe, but it was going to work. However, right after I started the machine and the machine got to work, the dreams returned.

I kept mumbling to myself, but it ended because TK was in the room. I remember those exact words he had said to me.
He said, “Knight. Knight! Knight!! Knight!!!”

I then turned my attention over to TK and he told me to calm down. He then said to me, “Listen Knight, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but it seems like you can handle it. now, I’ve tried to trace back TF’s transmission device back to its origins back in Manehatten. However, I was unable to pick up the signal. I’ve tried every fucking possible way and I failed to do so. However, there might be a slight chance I might be able to pick it up, but I need the TV or the signal that was used to broadcast the message to you. I was able to pick up what type of signal it was used on it seemed to be ok when it was in the explosion, so it should still be there. I need you to go to Manehatten and try to find the signal device.”

I was about to go up stairs and tell Wolf of what I had to do, but then TK stopped me before I could continue and said, “and Knight. I know you’ve not been doing so well lately. Even Wolf told me what you’ve been doing, but you need to get your head back into the game. We might be able to find where TF escaped. I still will never know who he escaped those demons when I saw him. Good luck Knight.”

TK then went back to hell so he can continue his work, while I go on my journey to Manehatten. I walked upstairs to back something’s, because I was going on my own this time. I mean, it was meant to be a quick visit back to the place where Factory Dash and I almost died.

I grabbed my satchel or that thing that Indiana Jones has. Yea, I have that thing. Yea, I forgot to mention that when I first wrote this story of my life and the adventures of the universe and shit.

Besides, I didn’t really need the satchel right away, nor did I used it, so there was no point in writing it down. However, I only use the satchel for things like this. If it’s around Stalia, I don’t have it on me, but if its anywhere else, I have it on me, just in case an old enemy of mine attacks are where my help is needed, I have all the shit that I fucking need in there.

In addition, that syringe was quite ready yet, but it would be when I got back for Manehatten. I just had to take it easy when I went to Manehatten and don’t let those dreams and thoughts get to me.

I then went upstairs to notify Wolf that I was going to be gone for a while. I saw him being molested by Molestia and he was moaning and shit. I mean, he was spraying timber wolf cum everywhere, but Molestia cleans that up with her mouth and… Are any of you starting to get a weird boner right now? I know I shouldn’t ask and besides, this isn’t a clopfic and all, but a story of my life, and this is what happened and as I am writing this in my room at the castle in Cantorlot (that’ll be explain later) I have a pretty weird boner right now as you are reading this. I mean, Molestia doing a pony and a timber wolf.

That’s just interesting. I mean, she cleaned that cum up with her mouth and she enjoyed every bit of it and… Ok what the fuck am I fucking doing right now!!?

This is a story about my life and the adventure I had in the universes and shit. not Wolf or Molestia having sex. Although, I’m afraid to say, there will come a chapter where there’s plenty of sex and shit, to where it would be a clop chapter.

Well, for those sick fucks out there who are bored about my awesome life story, you’ll get a good kick out of it then, you sick fucks. But then again, if we’re all having boners right now and…. Ok let’s just move on.

Well, when I came in Molestia and Wolf saw me and asked if I was ok. I said yes and told them where I was going and Molestia offered me a private uhhhhh. Sex or molestiation ….. I don’t have a fucking clue what you call it. Its sex so whatever.
Something that’s supposed to make me spray my fucking cum. Well, I was about to say no, but I said, “Yea. I do want one before I go.”

Then wolf said, “Well that’s fine with me. I’m all out of cum right now, I go downstairs, and smoke some weed while you two are doing it up here. I’ll also play that fucking record we have of buffalo soldier while I’m doing it.”

Wolf then left and closed the door so Molestia and I could have some privacy. Molestia gestured me to lie down on the bed so we could started with the sex and the blowjobs and the molesting.

I then laid down and she started to slowly……. My god. what the fuck have I become? Whatever, we just did it in the bedroom, but I guess for you cloppers out there.

I mean, I know you people will have your fun once in the future, but I don’t want you to be like saying clopper related things and being hyped on that kind of shit and saying my life story is a waste of fucking time.

So, where was I, all right. Molestia did me and we’ll go into details much later about that. Then again, I guess I should include it, since this story isn’t for kids.

In addition, if little kids are reading this, then shame on your parents you little fucker. Then again, how would you find this book anyway from the MLP universe?

Then again, I would just send it to the earth universe after I’m done, but keep a copy of this for myself and hope some people would read this. I mean, I’m currently writing this at Cantorlot Castle, in my room by fucking candle light, and frankly, I have no fucking clue what the fuck I’m saying right now. Let’s move on.

Therefore, after Molestia did me, I went down stairs, it was around three o’ clock at night, and I decided to leave.

Wolf asked me why I was going then and I told him, “Well I can get to Manehatten by morning if I leave now.”

Then Wolf asked, “Wait? Isn’t Twilight in Manehatten? Visiting the mayor and shit?”

I then said, “Yea, but she won’t give a flaming fuck. I mean, she doesn’t know half of the fucking adventures that I had so far. Like planet random or winter wrap up or the hangover adventure one, or the others that happened to me. So see you wolf. Also, by the way, Molestia was very excellent in bed tonight.”

Then Wolf said, “Yea, she’s been practicing. That and she’s always like that if you get her in the right mood. Well, see yea. Also, pick up more beer while you out. We need more.”

I then said, “Will do.”

I then left to go to Manehatten.

I walked for about three hours or so and I saw the sun rose up into the sky, as the moon felled into the deep blue while I was walking. I do have to admit, even though Celestia is a fucking troll, she can sure make a sunrise look fucking amazing.

Well, I was walking along my path, when I came up to a carriage, with ponies that looked like they were guarding it. I could even see the leader.

I walking and I were going to bypass them, until the leader of the group stopped me and asked, “Hey! Aren’t you that pony? That pony who’s a personal student for Celestia?”

I then said, “Yes. So what?”

He then said, “oh nothing. I just never get to meet famous or slightly famous ponies that much. It’s a great honor to meet you, because I’ve heard stories about you once in Cantorlot.”

I then asked, “You have?”

I mean, I know I was somewhat well known in Cantorlot and all, but not really much heard of outside of Cantorlot. Then again, if you remember that one guy that I said he was sort of a friend to me, but not really.

Well, maybe that could’ve been him and shit, but I knew something was up, because when Twilight went to Ponyville, no one knew she was a personal student and shit.

The leader then continued, “of course. Almost everyone has heard of you. So, where you headed?”

I then said, “Riiiiiiiight. I’m headed towards Manehatten. I’m be leaving you now.”

I still had a suspicious look on my face as I continued to walk to Manehatten.

I then over heard them, but using walkie-talkies, which I was still blown away by that, so of course something was up. I heard him say, “That student is headed towards your trap boss. We’re make sure he gets there safely and we send the big guy out. then you can give us our pay.”

I then heard on the other side, “good. I’ll see that you get paid once I’m done with him.”

Then that leader guy put that fucking walkie- talkie thingy magic away.

Well, it isn’t exactly a walkie talkie, but it’s similar, so what the fuck am I supposed to fucking call it. Although, you must wonder, how a pony invents this stuff, but yet, doesn’t share with the world.

I mean, a fucking pony could make a shit load of fucking money with those devices. I mean, I could even make a shit load of fucking money with my inventions.

Well, whatever, doesn’t really fucking mater and shit fuck….let’s just fucking continue the story.

I was walking towards Manehatten and I kept hearing that melody tune in my head as I walked. I then want to go back to hearing voices in my head and trotting back and forth all day.

At the time, I was still trying to figure out the song. I knew it from somewhere, but I couldn’t put a hoof on it. It seemed to be a song from my past.

From my childhood hat, my parents would sing to me every night. Then again, my father would always sing that poor meatball one and it’s on top of a hill and shit.

Forgot what’s that song called. Then again, I’m over …. Well, by then I was over fifty-seven-thousand years old of age.

Well, I tried to figure it out, but no cigar, but I ended up in Manehatten.

For Manehatten, it was decent, but of course, you have the new Yorkers shit fuckers. I mean, there’s the rich French snobs and the hobos.

Speaking of hobos, I actually created a character called Yobo the hobo and strangely enough, he was in this universe, well, a version of himself.

It’s hard to explain. Yobo saw me and just said, “Hey buddy!! How’s it been since my universe got fucking destroyed!?” He also said that in a drunk voice.

I then said, “Yobo? Aren’t you supposed to be in my universe, well, at least when it got destroyed?”

He then said, “well, yes, but I fucking escaped and I found this universe.”

I then asked him, “but that’s fucking impossible. This universe wasn’t even opened. How did you get through?”

He then said, “I don’t fucking know. Three guys in ropes opened the portal and told me to stay here until you came.”

I then asked, “Three man in ropes? Whom the fuck are you talking about? No one else knows about off the grid except for me, TK, Factory Dash, TF, and apparently Neon.”

He then said, “I don’t fucking know, but this place with talking Technicolor ponies is great. You don’t even have to get high to see them.”

He then looked up and said, “Oh look, a piano.”

He then was killed by the piano that was accidently dropped on him. So yea, there goes a missing character of mine that I didn’t know that he was here in the first place.

In addition, about those three guys, I found out what he was talking about, but it will sound a little weird when I explain to you guys in the future.

Well, I then trotted towards the place where that explosion happened that one night, when Jack and Mac came over for a sleepover.

I then walked into the damaged place and even though its only has been a fucking week since the sleepover instant, it was still an investigation site.

Apparently, either there was retards working the scene or they are obsessed fuckers. Well, I got both of that right, because next to me was an overweight pony, who was a retard.

No wonder he was obsessed. Maybe he couldn’t read the number of how many Twinkies he’s supposed to eat. One package, not 500.

He then told me in a very slow voice in a retarded way, “Hey you. Get away from there, or I’ll have to come over there and…. Uhhhhh….. fuck it. I don’t feel like walking three feet to you. I’ll catch you one day criminal scum.”

He slowly rolled away from me.

I went deeper into the creator of the explosion and actually found the device I was looking for. Well, I almost had it, when a robotic foreleg smashed it to tiny pieces.

I slowly looked up and it seemed to be a robotic pony that was being controlled by voice command and shit. it then grabbed me by the neck and was about to knock me out, until I hit it with some acid that I appeared to have in my satchel and shit.

I honestly don’t know why I have acid in my bag, but it was there. Now, the fucking acid didn’t destroy the robot’s face, but only stunned it for a few seconds, which its grasp was loosened around my neck.

I then looked at my surroundings and found a way up to the top of the buildings.

I started to climb metal ladders and kept stumbling around, because apparently, fucking Boston people don’t know what to fucking do and shit.

I eventually got to the top and was looked for the robot. I was over the edge, checking to see where he was and he was nowhere in sight.

Then I thought too soon, which he put his hoof on the roof and started to chase me. I mean, this robot seemed advantage and shit. I then started to run, which required me to jump from rooftop to roof top.

Fortunately enough for me, the roof tops were small enough jumping distances to jump to. In fact, I was able to lose the robot guy. Until my dreams came rushing back in, and I yelled saying no, this grabbed the robots attention and was going to fucking kill me.

I then tried to run, but I couldn’t with the thoughts on my mind, but I sat against a metal box to calm down quickly and tried to remember the melody to that one song.

It calmed me down and I was able to run again. The robot guy was not too far on the trail and shit, to which I was about to jump to the next roof top.

Unfortunately, there was no more roofs. Instead, there were the streets of Manehatten. I looked down, and decided to say fuck it and jumped down.

Well, for me, I jumped right in front of Twilight.

She was surprised I jumped from the roof and asked, “Knight? What are you doing here?”

I was about to say something, but then the robot guy jumped down behind me and tried to punch me in the face, but I ducked, but the robot left a hole in the brick wall.

I then ran into the streets of Manehatten. I kept running and trying to avoid obstacles, but the robot guy was still hot on my trail.

I then turned to another street, to which I found a shit load of uhhhh. Cabs I guess you would call them, but the ones for the rich.

I then decided to get into one, but keep moving in and out of the things, so the robot would be confused of where I was. I eventually got into a taxi that was had rich people in it.

They said to me, “Who the blazes are!? Get out this instance!”

I then replied to those idiot bastards, “Yea, that’s going to be bit of a problem for me.”

Then that rich pony guy continued to complain about me and said, “I demand this dam instance that you get out right now, I’ll shall call the guards on you!”

I was like ‘ooooooooooo’ he said the word dam. So fucking what!? I say the fucking F-bomb almost a thousand times a day, and I’m not exaggerating on that part either.

I actually had a counter once and recorded how many times I said the word ‘fuck’ or a form of the word ‘fuck’ and it came down to about a thousand.

Then the bitch right next to him, which was possibly a whore, said, “Dear!! Do not use such profanity!”

I then stared at them blankly, just thinking of how I cursed so fucking much. I mean, I’m pretty sure by now, this book i’m writing of my life, has over 700 F-bombs. I’m pretty fucking sure it has over a thousand fucks in it as you are reading.

I then returned to see if the robotic suit thing was coming and he was coming very close. In fact, he was coming way.

Well, I then took the old bastaruds top hat from him, said, ‘fuck you,” right in his face.

I then escaped and watched as the robot punched through the taxi thing and made a hold through it. I then knew what happened next.

The robotic thingy looked inside and was ready to kill me with a automatic gun on its shoulder. Well, like I said before, I fucking escaped and all it saw was the rich douce and the bitchy wife of the rich doucebag.

The rich douce said, “does anyone in this bloody town has any manners at all!! Has this town gone nuts!!!”

Then he got out calmly and looked around for me, while I blended into the crowed with a fucking classy top hat on. I then walked around and felt like shit.

That and the dream was starting to come back to me. I couldn’t get the melody in my head at the time and Luna’s moon was about to rise and shit, so I decided to hit a local bar or pub.

Well, technically, there were no wizards there, since all fucking wizards are all British people.

Well, I thought maybe some beer could help me get the melody back. I mean, when you’re drunk anything is possible I mean, even killing your mother and father on the road.

Now, depending on how you say mother and father, you might be a Jew, and I might’ve done zombie Hitler a favor.

Well, I was at the pub, all tired and shit and I sat at the bat table or where the fucking bar tender works at. He asked me what I fucking wanted and I said tequila.

Well, tequila is the best liquor to go by when tired or fucking depressed as fuck. I mean, when I wasn’t going to sleep at night with the dreams and all, I would either be in the living room, listing to old classic country songs or in the basement with dead silence while drinking tequila and shit.

Well, the bar tender gave me a glass, which I then said to him, “dude!? What the fuck!!? You goanna give me just a small glass? Give me the dam bottle!!”

Then a random stallion behind me said, “He’s right!! Why don’t we get the bottle you son of a mother fucking bitch!!?”
Then there was a crowd that said behind him, “yea!”

Then the bar tender said, “well, for obvious reasons. One, you could hurt somebody when you go home. Two, it’s the city law that I don’t give you the entire bottle right away, and three, its fucking expensive. Its 20 bits per bottle.”

Then the random stallion said “Revolution!!!!”

Then every pony started to kill each other in the bar, where I just went behind the counter and grabbed all the tequila bottles there was.

I then sneaked through out of the bar fight and went to the really dark alley way that has one dim light bulb by the door to the bar.

I just sat there next to a dead hobo’s body while drinking my shit. I even talked to him, saying, “Know what dead hobo body. I know we just met, but you are my best friend. You want some tequila?”

Then a random pony was tossed through the door way and into the dark alley that I was at and he got up and went back into the fight.

I then said to the dead hobo body, “don’t mind them Mr. dead hobo body. They are just assholes. You have any weed on you? No, wait, hobos have crack. But you’re not a black guy pony. Maybe black hobos have crack? But then what does white hobo’s have? Maybe heroine? I think they can smoke AIDS. Got any AIDS I can smoke?”

Then I heard a pony running towards the dark alley and then was tackled by some gang of ponies. They then started to beat the living shit out of the pony, while I just watched.

Well, I was drunk and talking a dead hobo’s body, why not? Then, the pony that was beating the other pony to a bloody pulp killed him and he looked at me and said, “Wait a second. I know you. You're that guy!!!”

He was then about to take out a walkie -talkie, but I punched him in the stomach before he could reach for the thing.
Well, I am sober when it comes to combat.

I then punched his legs until one of them was broken and slammed his head against the brick wall until he was almost dead.

When it was about to a point where his noise was bleeding and he couldn’t see straight, I stopped and asked him, “Who are you!? What do you want from me !?”

Unfortunately, the pony passed out, but I found a club card.

Yes, you see, the club card seemed to be a clue for me to go to, so maybe I could find some answers there.

Then out of fucking nowhere, two guards came up to me and said, “Hey! Did you kill that pony!?”

I then stared at them for a bit and then pointed to the dead hobo body.

To which what then happened was that the guards then took the dead hobo body and said, “You coming with us!”

as they were taking the dead hobo body away, his head was looking at me and I said, “I’m sorry dead hobo body. Please forgive me.”

Before I went to the club, I went back inside the bar to get a few beers for on the way over to the club. When I went inside, the fight was still going strong, except a little bit of the fight was taken outside and it was starting to get bloody and the guards were even being killed.

I looked for the beers, and lucky for me, they had Irish beer. Irish beer is always the best to drink when in a fight.

I then went outside to go to the club. With the fight outside, it was a little hard to doge the attacks from other ponies, because it was starting to get to be a battle then a simple everyday bar fight.

Then, a little colt stood in the middle of the fighting area and started to sing. He was singing that one song from Les Miserable’s; the ‘I dreamed a dream song.’

(keep in mind, the vieo is there so you can compare with my parody lyrics and the actual lyrics.)

There was a time when ponies were high
And those ponies were dying of cancer
There was a time when all Zebras had AIDS
And the ponies laughed at them and didn’t even help them
There was a time for everything
But then it all went right.
I dreamed a dream that AIDS had gone by
When our alcohol levels were high
And we all partied hard.
I dreamed that Asians would never die
I dreamed that guy over there would stop looking at me
Then I was a littler fucker, and an asshole
Some dreams were fucked and latterly fucked by a scootaloo.
Wasted and high
Italians gave me a ransom.
No turkey under cooked.
No fucks wasted at all
But the tiger fucks the moon at night
And their roars that’s fucks birds
As cats fly through space while rainbows come out of their asses
As they turn your dream into AIDS
He touched me in the no-no place on my pony dick
He filled my dreams with happiness and fear
Michael Jackson fucked me!
But he was gone when I woke up in his bed
When a turkey fucked a horse
And still I dream that Robert Downy Jr. will gang bang my ho’s
That I will fuck a lion
But there are dreams that cannot be
Like being freed from Robin Williams basement
Or a thunder cloud killing a pony named Obama.
Or possibly doing cocaine with Whitney Huston’s dead body
And giving cancer with Willie Nelson’s horse.
I had a dream that my life would be 20% cooler
So different from this fight I’m living in
So different now, from what it seems
Now, OJ Simpson killed the dream with a knife.

I was really surprised that that little boy knew who Willie Nelson was. I thought that generation had forgotten poor old Willie.
Nice to know he’s making a comeback with ponies.

In addition, after the little kid singed, a drunken Irish pony knocked him out.

When I saw that, I raised a hoof in the air and said to him, “Long live Irish ponies!”

He had a big smile on his face and also raised his hoof in the ir, but was tackled by a guard. That was my cue to get the fuck out of here.

I then searched high and low for the club, which the club name was the Nightclub. Nice name by the way for a club.

Well, eventually I found it and of fucking course, there was a line to get into the place. I could’ve gotten in, but I would need to have either Twilight with me, or a bunch of drunken hoes with me that do cocaine.

Because, you know? If you want to get into a club, you need hot chicks with you. I really wished Twilight could’ve been here, and luck was on my side, because Twilight was with her guards and she founded me.

She told her guards to back off and told them to go back home and she trotted up to me.

She then said to me, “Knight? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be back in Stalia?”

I then continued to stare at her, and keep in mind, I had finally figured out that Twilight had that crush on me, and I just stared at Twilight.

I was thinking of what to do.

Eventually, my brain told me to do, ‘Knight. Just listen and listen well. You might not have a crush on Twilight, but this might work. Tell Twilight that you want to hang out and go to the club. Then get her drunk and then figure out who is trying to kill you. Then, return Twilight safely back to her hotel room, or where ever the fuck she is staying at in Manehatten. Besides, along as she doesn’t try to make a move on you by trying to fuck you or give you any kind of pleasure at all, you’ll be good. Now go and ask her Knight.’

I continued to look at Twilight and she continued to look at me, and I do wonder what she was thinking me at the time.

IN TWILIGHT’S THOUGHT DURING THE TIME OF WHAT WAS KNIGHT THINKING…
‘Knight is so handsome and hot. He’s also very smart and so lovely.

However, he’s a fool at the same time, smokes weed, and gets drunk. Almost every night. However, he’s my fool. My sweet lovable fool.

I hope he notices me and he asks me on a date! That would be so wonderful! Then if our relationship was good, then we could kiss and then start having sexual intercourse.

I don’t know why other ponies call it sex. I know its short, but it’s not by the book. Then we could have kids of our very own.
In addition, spike and Wolf could be good friends when he moves in with me if that time ever comes.

Although, I don’t know how well it will work out, since Princess Celestia is planning on making him into an Alicorn if he passes the test. Oh it doesn’t matter. Along as we’re together, it doesn’t matter at all!’

BACK TO KNIGHT’S POV OF THINGS…….
Why do I feel like Twilight was thinking of fucking me and was really want me to date her? Although, the question is, why did she want me?

I mean, she can have any other stallion she wants, but she chooses me instead. I don’t know.

The way that I do it, is that I will never understand women, nor will man ever understand them. In other words, don’t question them.

That makes some sense. However, I can’t help but feel to question Twilight’s love for me, because why?

Who knows, maybe it’s her hormones or something. Definitely not her period, because she would be piss at me then loving me.

I don’t know. I guess don’t question women, because we men will never ever understand them. It’s sort of like the question of the meaning of life. We will never understand 42, other than making it our heads explode if we were to understand that number.

Well, I then said to Twilight, “Hey! Twilight, I’ve got an idea. Since we’re both here in Manehatten and we both seem to have some time on our hands, why don’t we just, you know, hang out. We could walk into the Night Club and have a drink or two and possibly dance perhaps?”

I also said that with an overused creepy smile that made me looked like I was nervous.

Twilight then had a smile on her face with a sparkle in her eyes, and she said this, “oh I would love to do that with you Knight. It has been a while since us, as good friends had spent any time with each other.”

I do wonder what was she was thinking when she said yes.

BACK TO TWILIGHTS MIND…..
‘Yes!! It’s all ready happening. He’s asking me out on a date! Well, it’s not really a date, but only to hang out with him.
However, it’s like a date, since we’re going to spend some time together. Oh this so wonderful! It’s all coming together.

He might even ask me out on another date later on. Maybe he will call it a date even. Although, if we kiss, then that means I would have to have him over at my parent’s house so my parents could meet him.

Oh, this is all going according to plan. Oh, only if I could tell some pony about this. If this night goes well, then I could tell my friends and it will be great.’

BACK TO KNIGHT’S POV OF THINGS…………………………
Ok now, I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable right then and there. However, I shrugged it off and Twilight and I went towards the door.

When the security guy saw us, he kneeled down and lets us pass right on through.

When we went in, those bitchs that take the coats when you enter one of those types of clubs even kneeled down to Twilight, and asked why she was here.

Twilight response was, “oh. Don’t worry about us. I’m here on a date…. I mean to hang out with my friend Knight.”

She even had a nervous smile on her face.

She even looked at me since she accidentally said date, which I then thought, ‘well then. I guess my feelings were right then. well, I just have to figure out a way to knock her out and make sure she doesn’t hate me when I knock her out with a syringe or reifies I guess.

Alternatively, that type of medicine that doctors use to knock out their patients, so they can steal all of their shit from their wallets, give them AIDS and possibly Malaria, and take a shit on their face.

Whatever, I just have to do that, find the guy, return Twilight safely back to her stay at whatever Hotel she is staying at, and kill this pony who is trying to kill me.

Why do I think these long thoughts out? I’m a really fast thinker aren’t I. I wonder if I can sing I’m blue in my head.

‘’ I’m blue dabadeedabdadedabade. Dabadedabadadabadedbada. I have a blue house with a blue window. Blue is the color of all that I wear. Blue are the streets and the tress are too. I have a girlfriend and she is so blue. Blue are the people here that walk around, blue like my corvette, it’s in and outside. Blue are the words I say and what I think. Blue is the feelings that live inside me. ‘’

That was fun to do in my head. Maybe I could do some other random 80’s song that people might have forgotten.

‘’ talking away I don’t know what I’m to say I’ll say it anyway. Today isn’t my day to find you. Shying away. I’ve been coming for your O.K. ‘’

Man, the 80’s songs were almost always about love isn’t it. Wait a second. How do I remember that song? I mean, I’m over fifty-seven thousand years old, and I somehow remember that song. It seems that I would forget about it.

Then again, there is that one song that I will never get out of my head, which was when I got rick-rolled on you tube.

‘’ Were no strangers to love. You know the rules, and so do I. A full commitments what I’m thinking of. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy. I just want to tell you how I feeling, gotta make you understand. Never gonna give you up never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. ‘’

That was so fucking annoying back on earth and I want to kill those who fucking Rick- Rolled me. Those trolling fuckers. Wait a second. Why the fuck am I still thinking in my thoughts.

I have to get serious here and knock Twilight out so I can find the guy who could be a possible lead to finding the pony who wants me dead. Then again, it was fun to think those thoughts, except for the rick rolled part. Well, whatever, I really don’t give a fuck anyway. I wonder why no pony even questioned are trying to talk to me and…. Wait, we are walking.’

Yea, I thought that thought for very long, and for some reason, I didn’t notice that Twilight and I were walking to the bar. I didn’t even noticed that.

However, when I got back home, I opened up a little portal that let me go back, I was curious of what the bitch and Twilight was talking about while I was doing nothing.

Well, as I was staring off into deep space and singing those lyrics in my head, the bitch said or more like asked to Twilight, “but your majesty. I don’t mean to be mean or anything, but why him? Why are you on a date with a low class stallion, where you can have any other boyfriend of your choosing who is more to your level?”

Twilight didn’t get mad of course, and simply said, “it’s hard to explain. Besides, he’s the personal student of Celestia.”

The bitch then told Twilight, “He’s a personal student!? Therefore, by technical standards, he’s a little bit of royalty then. Well then, I’m sorry to hold you up on talking with you. Please, continue what was that you were doing.”

We then walked past her, which I seemed to follow Twilight without even noticing. That is somewhat fucking creepy.

In addition, when we entered on the dance floor, or the main room of the Night Club, no one even noticed that a princess was here. Either they were too drunk or too high to notice. Let’s get back to when I finally realized what the fuck I was doing.
Well, I was looking around and there was a rave going on. There was even lighted floors and bunch of ponies just having a good time. I think there was even a disco ball on the ceiling.

There was also some kick-ass music going on in the background. However, I recognize familiar kick-ass music from Earth. In fact, it was fucking Daft Punk.

I then remembered something when I was at the private school with Celestia back in my Cantorlot days, which I will talk about another time.

You see, there was this one time right after I had cast a spell on Wolf so he could talk. Well, Celestia was so surprised and proud of me of doing such a amazing spell and creating one right away, she even told Luna and Twilight, along with some other important ponies that do school shit for the academy.

Well, unfortunately, I rather threw a party in one of the main rooms, and I was the DJ. I was playing the beats from the Daft punk songs, which was around the world/ harder better faster stronger remix.

In addition, I casted a spell onto myself that gave me the power to speak in an electronic voice while singing the song.

Yea, when Celestia walked in with Luna and Twilight the others, it was good. I’ll tell that story another time. However, right then, I was surprised that somehow, my music from the academy got out and was playing at clubs.

In fact, the DJ’s looked like the two who play the Daft Punk shit. You know those people who have robot masks for heads.
Well, they were playing ‘television rules the nation/ that Mexican festival song that I don’t know the name to.’

It was fucking badass. In addition, I had a Hugh smile on my face. Even though these ponies didn’t know what the fuck television was, they still enjoyed it. Just hope Daft Punk doesn’t come here and sue the ponies.

However, that was the first song at first, but as soon as Twilight and I got to the bar, they started playing that one song that was also a mash up with dead mouse.

Well, l we got to the bar and we couldn’t get the bar tender out exact attention and Twilight was willing to go and order the drinks, but I simply said, “please Twilight. I offered to take you out, so let get the drinks. Besides, it’s the gentlecolt thing to do.”

As I was walking away to get the drinks, I just wanted to punch myself so hard in the face just for saying that. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to be a gentleman from time to time, but this wasn’t that high class type bar, where they play big band music.

This was a fucking dance electronic club. Besides, I needed to slip the drugs into her drink without her noticing it.

I went to the bar and he asked, “You with Princess Twilight?”

I then said, “Well, yes. How come you didn’t come over there to serve us?”

Then the bar tender said to me, “well, because I have polio and frankly, I have a monkey on my back that’s going to give me the AIDS any second now if I don’t disarm this bomb he has given me. So I’m kind of busy at the moment, but you can fix the drinks for you two.”

Then he talked to the monkey, which was, “now monkey who started the AIDS, why do you have a kinife to my throat?”
Then the monkey said to the bat tender, “I want you to get Cancer!!!”

Then the guy asked, “what kind of cancer?”

Then the monkey said, “Pony Cancer!!! Then I want you to fuck this ape right next you!!!”

Surprisingly, there was ape right next to him that I didn’t even noticed. In addition, it seemed like I was telling a bad joke to you guys.

Well, I then got behind the bar and fixed the drinks. I had Tequila, because, you know, you can never have enough tequila. I mean, it’s the illegal Mexican drink, the greatest invention by the illegal Mexicans, ever since they created the taco.

For Twilight, I fixed her a martini and slipped some reifies in it.

I then went back to Twilight with the drinks, and happily took her martini and drunk it. After her first slip, she was knocked out cold.

I mean, I only put a tiny bit of the drug into her drink, so I don’t overdose it. Then again, do reifies even knock you out?

I think I might have given her something else that I don’t know of. Maybe I should have checked the bottle at the time.

After I finish writing my life story down, or at least this chapter of my life story, I have to check in with Twilight and see if she experienced anything that might have been related to the drug that I gave her.

Well, I then told the bar tender, to which the monkey and ape was gone, to keep an eye on Twilight while I was gone looking for the guy that I had to go look for.

In addition, when I went up to the bat tender, he said, “well. I killed the monkey and the ape and I believe I’m going to go to jail now, or at least in the town anyway, for killing an animal that was endangered. Oh well, I had a good life. I always knew my life would end with a guy raping me and jail. Maybe I can kill myself by chocking on the pony’s dick that I am forced to suck. On the other hand, I can just kill myself right now and get over with it. Fuck it; I’ll take the jail thing.”

Then I said, “I’m not going to ask what the fuck is wrong with you. Listen, can you watch over Princess Twilight while I do something?”

He then said, “Sure. Just put her in the pile of other women that were drugged and put there so their boyfriends can fuck other chicks.”

I then saw where he pointed with his hoof and there was a pile of women who were passed out from drugs.

Then I saw a stallion who looks like the forever alone meme and was a nerd and was about to touch one of the women and the bartender grabbed a blunt object with his hooves and said, “Hey! What the fuck did I tell you!!Do not rape the women!! Can’t you read the sign!?”

The nerd pony then ran away as fast as fuck and looked like a nerd guy that would be if light was shined on him right after playing World Of Warcraft for three years straight.

The nerd pony even hissed at the bar guy. I then put Twilight over at the pile, even thought there are some chances that she will be raped, but come on.

She was already raped by spike if you recall. I wouldn’t be surprised if spike had followed us and he went rape Twiight again, which was what happened.

Yes, Spike followed us and raped Twilight again the bar. I’m so surprised that the bar tender didn’t even noticed that.

Well, after I spike doing what he was doing with Twilight, I slowly backed away and went to look for a guy that could possibly help me.

I then walked away from the rape scene.

I then thought, ‘wait a second. Who the fuck am I even looking for!?’

I should have had thought it threw, however, luck was on my side, because I recognized that leader pony from earlier before.

He was sitting in his little private booth area, pimping with his bitches. Of course, he had security guards with him as well.

However, I said fuck it, since I could easily kick their asses. As I was walking up to the leader guy, he saw me, while he had his cool shades on and he even smiled at me.

I got to the security guy and broke several of his bones and kicked his ass. I then was about to walk up to the leader pony, until that robotic pony thingy jumped from down onto the coffee table that stood in the little private area.

Apparently, he was at a balcony above the area and was looking right at me. I then said, to myself, “Well, shit fuck.”

The robotic pony thingy then was about to punch me into the ground, but I dogged swiftly. I was then near the DJ and then they both looked at me.

I then said to them, “Hey. If you’re going to stare at me and watch me fight, can you at least play robot rock?”

Then one of them said, “Why of course. We do have to thank you for making this awesome music and all.”

I then said to them, “you’re very much welcomed.”

Then the robotic thingy was pointing a gun at me and shooting at me, but of course, I dogged the bullets, while having robot rock playing in the background.

then the robot got near me and I started to throw a few punches, but fucking dam! It hurt like a mother fucker!

The robot then was about to use its flamethrower on me, to whom I then quickly got behind the counter as quick as I could before it could, set me on fire.

I then hid behind the counter, seconds away from the robot coming behind with me and killing me.

However, within those seconds, I then paused for a moment, or like that Holmes a vision in those Sherlock Holmes movies, and thought for a moment.

I thought that when I punched the robot, it was hard. Several materials could be hard.

Such as diamond, gold, silver and other such known metals. Then of course, I then thought that robots were mate of metal of course, and how do you destroy metal?

You turn it into to liquid or liquefy it, by using fire. I then saw a match and surprisingly a hairspray can right next to me. I then took the match and…. You see where this is going.

When the robot was right at the counter top, I slowly came up, and lit that mother fucker on fire. Of course, it didn’t hurt at first, but then, he started to slowly melt.

Well, not everything melted, of course the wires to the robot was fucking up and the other shit was being destroyed and shit, but he was melting all together.

As soon as I was finished with the fucking robot, I looked at the leader pony guy and he was about to run away, until I caught up to him, and interrogated him.

I then yelled right in his face, “Tell me who the fuck sent you!! Who the fuck sent you to fucking kill me!!?”

He then said, “aright! All right! I’ll tell you. I can’t tell you the name, but I can tell you where he works at. His hideout is the abandoned electrical plant down on south ST. that’s all I know. I swear to Celestia that’s all I fucking know!”

I then said to him, “Pray you never see me again.”

I then let him go and I forgot to metion, that when I started to fight, everybody ran away. In addition, at the women pile, some women were taken when the fight started with the robot and Spike was no longer here.

I then put a hoof on Twilight and use a spell to look into Twilight’s memory, so I could find out where she was staying at.

Apparently, it’s the main attraction Hotel of Manehatten. It was a rich fancy hotel and all, filled with French snooty ponies.

Well, I then grabbed Twilight an teleported to her room, which surprisingly had no guards in it and all.

I checked to see if I was in her room and I was, because Spike was masturbating and Spike looked at me.

He then said, “Hey. What uhhhhhhh…… what are you doing?”

I then said to him, “nothing. I saw you rape Twilight for a second time.”

Then Spike said, “listen. About that….”

I then cut him off and told him, “I don’t want to fucking know. I don’t care if you have been doing this since you first saw Rarity or wince you first found out you have a dick. I don’t care. Just promise me this. Never speak of what you did when raping Twilight, nor kill her from your AIDS.”

Then Spike said, “How did you know I had AIDS?”

I then said to him, “listen. I’m going to give you these. When I leave, I want you to inject this into Twilight. Then after every other time you rape her, you give her this. Got it?”

what I had given him was a syringe that cures the AIDS. Yea, I had the cure and I knew it was safe. Besides, I was sure that Twilight was going to fuck me in my sleep one night and I didn’t want to get AIDS.

Then again, I was immune to all diseases, so it didn’t matter, but still.

I then left and put Twilight on her bed, while Spike gave her the shot.

Then Spike went back to masturbating. He’s just confused, that’s all.

I then teleported back outside of the hotel and went to find the abandoned building on South ST. it was dark and three at night, but I was able to find it.

To be honest, it kind of creped me out, with the mood and the atmosphere and shit. I swear I heard like a ghost or something when I was near by the place. I swear to Celestia that I did. I even think it was a poltergeist. God, that just gives me the chills.

Then again, I guess it isn’t so bad as Neon, because with him, he creeps me even more out.
I then went inside the building, honestly, no one was out here to stop me. For a pony that wanted to kill me and possibly has been watching me for a good long while, sure has shitty security.

However, I got sings that said, ‘come to the heart of the electrical house.’

I don’t know if the pony was trying to make everything serious or try to be just stupid.

However, I found some pictures of the previous Galas and pictures of me with Gala tickets. There was even some Gala ticket stubs lying on the ground.

As I was walking, written on the walls with blood and I’m for sure this was blood, and it said, ‘remember the Gala tickets.’

I honestly started to get a little creped out, because what the fuck did that Gala have to do with anything!?

Well, it was like a maze to get though and to get to the center, but I was almost there. As I was walking, I saw how this pony seemed to create the robots.

For one thing, there electrical equipment and creating shit everywhere man. In addition, of course, there was blood on the walls and shit.

Can’t have enough blood, can you? I also saw the guns, shit, and pictures of me holding one inside my house.

Now it made me think who has been watching me. I thought it was TF at first, but then a thought came to me. It couldn’t be him.

For one thing, if that was TF, this was a weak thing for him to do. I mean, he usually do more elaborate shit, and actually out smarts me and out fights usually throughout the many weeks on end.

However, he does know how to do this kind of shit, but I don’t think he’s that insane enough to put actual blood on the wall, well, at least not yet.

Besides, he wouldn’t just go over to me, but my friends and this would have taken place throughout the entire country of Equestria or this inter world.

I eventually reached a narrow path that led to the center of the abandoned electrical factory. I do have to admit though, that I think this electrical company factory, was and electrical factory. I believe it was something else.

Something likes rainbow factory type of feel. Like something even darker happened here many years ago and was abandoned by god. Now I’m just reading too deep into this.

Well, anyway, as I was saying, it was a narrow path way, and there pipes leading to the room and the floor was that grating type and some steam was leaking from the pipes, which I was surprised was still working.

I was about to go, until two ponies and a robotic pony attacked me. One of the ponies came straight for me, but I snapped his neck before he could even lay a hoof on me.

I also saw he had a gone with him, so I took that shot that other pony and killed him instantly. Now the part that I had trouble with was the mother fucking robot.

In addition, remember those dream shit that I have problems with controlling? Yea, it came back. I kept thinking about and it just made me weak.

However, I pushed through the fight. I fought back with all of my strength. I tried my best not to think of Fausticorn or Celetia and Luna fillies or even that island.

Something about that island just wanted me to find out every badly.

Of course, with the robot fight and all, it was very hard on my hooves, and I eventually took a broken pipe, which leaked a lot of steam into the robots face at first.

That gave me an advantage to attack him, and surprisingly, the steam helped somehow. Not sure why, or what was inside the steam and it was made of, but it helped and I was able to knock out the robot.

Not kill him, because I didn’t have fire for that matter. Then, I just decided to concentrate on trying to get that melody back in my head, so I could stop thinking about those dreams that are like nightmares to me.

I tried and I tired, but it wouldn’t come back. It just wouldn’t. I even cried a little. I had one or two tear drops fall from my eyes, because I wanted it to stop.

I wanted the melody to come back and save me from my dreams. And it was also a lovely tune. A tune that somehow I hold dear to, because it reminded me of something I couldn’t put my finger or hoof on it.

As a third tear drop was about to fall, the melody came back.

It came back into my head. I mean, I had my eyes closed, crying and on the floor, curled up and shit. I even had my head down.

When I heard the tune, I had a smile on my face. I was so happy it came back. I knew there was hope left. I just knew it.

When I went to look up and continue on and find this pony who has put me through hell, I saw something.

I saw a portal, with a picture on it. Well, more like a portal that was a window. In addition, I saw them. I saw Fausticorn in a child’s bedroom.

She wasn’t looking at me of course, but looking at towards a bed, where a child would be at. The room was also dark and looked like something that was meaningful to me.

I then saw the window that was near the bed. It was nighttime and the stars out were quite beautiful. I mean, they were so calm and peaceful and just lovely.

However, I saw another portal right outside that window. I couldn’t make it out what it lead to, but it looked like a portal that a person would only here through his or her mind.

you see, sometimes portals can open up, and it can sometimes only connect with one person or two people at once well, and there only way that a person could know that portal is there, is through listening to whatever comes through that portal.

The portal connects to the mind, however, you never see it, nor do you know what’s through it, but what you hear from it. I didn’t know who or what was listening in. I then went back to what was happening.

Fausticorn was sitting there right by the child’s bed. She was singing the melody. I could even make out the lyrics. It was ‘you are my sunshine.’

She sang it in such a motherly tone, it sort of made me cry a little bit. Why? I don’t know, but I just did. her voice was just…… I don’t know how to express it or explain it, but it was similar to Celestia’s voice, but there was a more motherly tone to it.

She was also signing the song ‘you are my sunshine.’

I didn’t quite get it. I mean, did she go to Earth and learn the song or did she create the song? I didn’t know what to say.

Then, I saw the child. I saw the child that was being singed to and that was in the bed. It was that child from the island. The child that I couldn’t make out. He was there.

In addition, he looked at me. He just stared at me with his blank white eyes. I know he has pupils in his eyes, it’s just that my mind was either playing tricks on me to not fully see the pony or the universe portal isn’t that well.

However, he just stared at me, as Fausticorn continued to sing her tune of sadness or happiness, as I never understood what that song meant to be.

However, that one universe portal did mystify me and I still don’t know where it ends up or who is listening to the song right now.

*BACK ON EARTH IN THE YEAR 1933…………..
The year was 1933. Oliver Wood was sitting down on a bench. He had a brown paper sack with him and had some lunch that he had.

He was enjoying his life of a musician. He played for the Rice Brothers Gang and he was doing great with business.

He just wished that the great depression never had happened. Times were certainly tough, especially with the dustbowl.

Farmers were having no luck with the dust keep getting in their way and forcing them to leave their homes.

It was hard enough as it is. They had to leave their farms and in search of better land r jobs that could keep them afloat with income.

Oliver had thought all of these things and was finishing his lunch. Then, a tune came up in his head. A lovely voice of a motherly tone came up in his head.

He had heard the lyrics very clearly and made the words out just as fine as he ever did. Oliver didn’t want to lose the lyrics, as he was afraid he would lose them and he would never think about them again.

He had gotten a pencil just lying around somewhere and he wrote the lyrics down on his empty brown paper sack that once held food inside it.

Oliver had a smile on his face, and had known that he had a new song and it would make him and his band more famous.

In, addition, his band recorded the song and later in life, in the year of 1937, he had later sold it to Jimmie Davis who went on to record it and made it famous.

However, The Pine Ridge Boys also went to record it first.

In addition, throughout the years, it was a beloved song, loved by millions and it all started with Olivier listening to the lyrics in his head.

BACK IN MANEHATTEN……………….
I just didn’t want to bother with that right now. I just wanted to concentrate on the task at hands.

When I found out that Fausticorn was singing this, I returned to the floor, having my head looked down on the ground. I was even crying a little bit.

I mean, when I saw her in my dreams and I didn’t know why she was in there, it was a nightmare. However, when I hear this song, it helps me with the dreams; a she is from my nightmares.

She helped me, and I don’t know what to say about it. Then, the portal decreased in size and the hole got smaller and smaller and soon, it disappeared and the song was now turned into silence.

However, the song didn’t stop playing for me, because I had the tune playing my head.

Then, the robot got back up for round two, and then, for some reason, anger boiled up inside me and I fought the robot.

Of course, it was an idiotic move on my part, because my anger didn’t make the fight any easier. All it did was push me to fight.

Well, the robot pinned me down on the ground and was about to kill me, until it stopped. It just froze there and didn’t nothing.

It was as if it was told to not kill me. Then I had thought maybe the pony who wanted me dead wanted alive. I then grabbed the gun, ready to kick this guys asshole.

I went towards the door, and kicked it open. I then checked to see if there were any guards at all, but there were none.

All I saw was a shrivel chair that was facing its back to me. Soon, I heard a voice. It wasn’t a male voice, but that of a female voice.

Then, the chair turned around, and revealed a colorful pony that was a mare. She had a light bluish and had a grayish mane color.

She even had horseshoes as a cutie mark. She then said to me, “after all of this time. I have finally got you.”

I then asked her, “Who are you and what do you want?”

Then she said, “oh. It’s quite too late for that, Knight. Of course, what I wanted is what all ponies wanted. A simple ticket to the Gala.”

I then had a ‘what the fuck’ expression o my face and asked, “Wait? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Then the mare said, “Don’t you play dumb with me you fool! don’t you remember me! from the time when I offered you to help you with your gardening, for just a simple exchange for the extra ticket to the Gala.”

I then said to her, “uhhhhhhhhhh……… no, actually. I don’t remember that at all. Who the fuck are you?”

She then said, “My name is Horseshoes!”

I then couldn’t help but laugh. I mean seriously, horseshoes. I mean, I know she has two horseshoes for a cutie mark, but come on. Were her parents retarded?

I actually looked that up and they were retarded. Well then, it was until funny to me.

Then said to her, “really? Horseshoes? That’s your name?”

She then yelled at me and said, “Don’t laugh at that! Besides, I wanted to change my name to p.t.d.g.t, but of course, you can’t even pronounce it. It was supposed to stande for pony that didn’t get gala ticket. And you didn’t give meit when I offered to help you with your garden.”

I then said to her, “I don’t have a fucking garden. In fact, I don’t know what the fuck I have in my house.”

Then she said, “Don’t you lie to me. I have a witness and her name is Pinkie Pie!”

I then had an idea hit me and to which I then said to her, “Wait. Are you thinking of Twilight?”

She then said, “No! who the fuck is she. I’m talking about you, and your garden in Ponyville!”

I then realized that she is also retarded. I then said to her, “yea, you mixed me up with Twilight didn’t you.”

She then said, “You are the personal student of Celestia, aren’t you?”

I then said, “Yes. However, I’m not really friends with Pinkie or the others of Twilight friends.”

She then said, “So, you’re not the one that I was looking for who didn’t give me the Gala ticket?”

I then said to her retarded face, “no. no I am not you retarded bitch. The one you’re looking for is Twilight Sparkle, which chances are, she is the one who need to talk to about the Gala ticket.”

She then said, “So, where do I find her?”

I then said to the bitch, “well. For one thing. She is the Princess of Equestria and is pretty much on of the rulers of this land. So, you can’t really try to kill her since she is pretty much powerful then you are and she has a shit load of guards.”

She then said, “Oh. So I don’t think I will be able to get the Gala Ticket in time from her, won’t I?”

I then replied to the dumbass, “Well, for one thing. You are seven years late. The Gala happened pretty much seven years ago and you’re a fucking dumbass for not even realizing it.”

She then said, “well shoot. I’ve been planning this for a long time. I mean, I even went to school and came up with ideas for those robots to kill Twilight. Well shoot. My bad. I thought I had the right pony. I mean, you are a personal of Celestia and all, well; I’ve wasted so many years of my life. Then again, I guess I could give it a shot at trying to kill Twilight. That and…”

I then whacked the idiotic bitch and I think I killed her with s hovel that was nearby me.

I also said after I knocked her out, “I’m sorry, but you put me through hell, so you have to pay for that. You’re also not putting a hoof on Twilight, even though we’re not technically friends, I do still care for her safety. Besides, even though she has a crush on me, I still don’t give a fuck no matt what. Well, I’m off to bury your body into some hobo’s dumpster. Maybe the hobo can use you as in outhouse you retard.”

I then dragged the body out of the factory, and the robot remained in the position it was for pretty much a long time.

I then dragged her to the nearest dumpster, dropped her off there, and went teleported back to Stalia.

I was back home and Celestia’s sun was about to rise.

In addition, of fucking course, I didn’t get what TK asked of me to get, which was that thing that TF used and shit. However, I was too pissed off of what I had to do and shit, that I wanted to just rest.

When I walk through the door, Wolf was up stairs in my room being molested by Molestia and he in her was moaning and they didn’t know I was back.

I then went into my basement and saw that the thing to help me with my dreams was finished. I looked at the data and everything seemed to be in check. I then gave myself the shot and it actually helped.

I was free from the thoughts from the dreams, for at least twenty-four hours. I had to make more, but it helped. Well, it didn’t erase the thought, but all it did was make me concentrate and not think about the dreams.

However, I still couldn’t go back to sleep of course, but at least I wasn’t going to act like an insane person no more.
As for what happened to Twilight, I don’t know actually.

BACK IN MANEHATTEN, WHILE BEING NATTERED BY MORGAN FREEMAN…….
Twilight Sparkle was in her bed, possibly thinking about white people shit.

In addition, I do say white people shit, because she sounds like a white chick. In addition, she sounds like a white chick that doesn’t sound hot and something that I wouldn’t even dare hit on.

Nor sleep with her to piss off her white guy husband. However, he was black; I maybe would, and perhaps do cocaine and get into a gang war with some white people.

What? I said it many of times before, I’m mother fucking god and I can do whatever the fuck I want.

I’ll do your mom if I have to prove it to you. She’s possibly hot anyway, and I’ll tap her ass. And if your dad walks in, I’ll kill him and sell him on the white market, since the black market is for black people only.

Then that would rather mean I’ll be your new dad. Then I would abuse you and narrate you to death. That’s right you white ass mother fuckers.

I’m that powerful, because I’m mother fucking freeman. Now shut your white people’s mouths up so I can continue the story that I’m possibly being only paid only five bucks to do.

Twilight was awoken from her deep slumber. Before Twilight had woken up, Spike had once again raped her.

I do have to admit, even though it’s wrong, I have to give props for Spike, because he is the man and deserves a lot of good shit to happen to him.

However, he will never be the man enough to be like me, because I’m Morgan fucking freeman. Besides, I’m black and he sounds like a white guy.

Well, after Spike had empty out his semen into Twilight, he had given her the syringe that he was told to use, since Spike was a white guy, so that meant he had AIDS.

However, I could have cured it with my beautiful black guy narrating voice. That and I’m black, so I can do whatever the fuck I want.

When Twilight woke up, she looked around her room for a bit. She then looked at spike, and asked him, “Spike? Did I go out last night?”

Spike looked at her and was afraid to say she had spent the night with Knight.

However, he had owed Knight for not telling Twilight that he raped her that one time when the white guy doctor went to that universe.

Spike then said to Twilight, “No you didn’t Twilight. You just went to bed early since you were tired from yesterday.”

Twilight had believed what Spike had told her and then said, “I was kind of curious. I dreamed last night that I went to hang out with Knight at a bar, but then I was knocked out. Oh well, we all do dream crazy things, don’t we spike?”

Then she looked up at the ceiling and heard my beautiful black guy Morgan Freeman voice of a black guy god.

She then said to me, “Is someone there? whose voice is that?”

I then politely said to her, “It’s god you mother fucking bitch! Now shut the fuck up and let the black guy do his talking!”

Twilight then said, “Are you a Zebra god?”

I then said to her purple dumbass face, “I isn’t no mother fucking white striped mother fucking zebra you retarded bitch! No wonder Knight doesn’t want to fuck your cute little purple asshole. Well, then, it looks like I’m getting a Morgan Freeman boner now. Know what Twilight?, I’m going to rape and erase your memory of our conversation. Spike, you guard the door while I rape this fine young lady.”

Then Spike said, “Got it Mr. Zebra god.”

Then I said to the little fucker, “Boy, do you want me to slap you silly you fucking retarded animal?”

Then Spike said to me, “No Mr. Black guy sir, whatever a black guy that is.”

I then said, “Thank you and…. And hold on just a dam minute here you racist prick. You say one more make one more black joke, I’ll literally fucking find out where you came from, rape your mother, then stab you fifty-one times in your balls, and give AIDS from African trees. And, I know you don’t know who your mother is, but I’m god and I can find out very easily. Your choice purple asshole.”

Then Spike said to me, “Yes Mr. Morgan Freeman, if that is your name that I am guessing right. I will stop with the black jokes.”

I then said to Spike, “There’s a good boy Spike. Now, I want you to knock once on the door outside if you see anyone coming. Got it? Now, let’s get started here you fine ass…”

I then realize, after talking to Spike so much, I didn’t notice that Twilight escaped through the window.

I then said, “Well, she escaped. Well, I can still find her, but there will not be a bed for the raping, so I guess I’ll just find her and wipe her memory of out conversation. Well, have a nice day Spike.”

I then left somehow, and went to find Twilight, to which I found her flying in the air trying to get away from me.

I then grabbed her by my force and wiped her memory out. After I did that, I returned her to her room at the Hotel and she woke up, without remembering that conversation ever happened.

I do wish on wonderful nights sometimes, that I did rape her, but I must be a black gentleman, and must rape black chicks instead, and not bitchs that sound like a white guy.

I then continued after these events, on narrating moments when Knight has an opening where I can narrate certain points where he has no fucking clue what happened to certain ponies after he left.

And that is right you white people, I do help out Knight, and not try to fuck with him. I would, but I know the secret behind him that he doesn’t know yet and, to be quite honest with you, I rather not fuck with him, because let’s just say, I would get my ass kicked if I ever did, and it wouldn’t be by Knight himself.

So, have a nice white guy dreams for you white people, and for the black people, have dreams about me, because we’re black and we pretty much have inception dreams, if you know what I mean.

BACK TO STALIA WITH KNIGHT….
I just don’t know why every time when I think about what had happened to ponies that I don’t know what happened to when I left them, I have a weird feeling that Morgan Freeman has something to do with it, or something is just fucked up about it.

Well, anyway, as I got back from the basement and gave myself the syringe, I went upstairs to my room.

In addition, wouldn’t you know it, Wolf was using my bed for sex. As in, Fucking Molestia on my bed. That little mother fucking prick of a bitch.

He even got cum everywhere and he pretty much fucked it up so bad, it’s un-washable. However, Molestia offered her sheets form her castle, but I had to go to the castle to get them. Just to keep it short and sweet for you guys, she molested me, and I got new sheets.

Also, if you’re wondering of how that revolution went, all the ponies that were involved in it died. I even recall that Celestiawas shocked that her subjects that she treated fairly tried to rebel. I wanted to tell her that they had the revolution because of the beer, and I actually did say that to her.

She then asked me, “What were you doing in Manehatten?”

I then said to her, “I would tell you, but I rather not make you wonder what goes on in that town.”

Well, after I told her those things, she was kindly enough to drop the plan she was going to do, which was to be stricter with the subjects,

not too strict like the Tyrant Celestia, but only because of the revolution, and she thought she was doing everything fairly and thought we were being a little selfish. Well, then, I guess the entire Country of Equestria owes me a favor for them from saving their asses from not so harsh rules.

Besides, I was the only one still alive after the revolution, because everyone died in it and had a Les Miserable’s musical while doing so.

It is very quite confusing, I understand.

Well, that was the end of my adventure for this chapter, and the next adventure, was just weird.

Click here for deleted scenes.

(Warning: the deleted scenes does contain cop related stuff, so if you don't like that stuff, then don't click it. just a warning for those who don't like it.)

*Keep in mind, That i did a little reshearch, and from what i've found, is that Oliver Wood is the guy who wrote the song and was in that band. He also actually wrote the song on a brown paper bag from what i've found. however, i don't know what the fuck he was doing with the bag, nor what the bag contained. i just made a guess. i don't even know what he wrote it with. it was sort of hard to find this, because i ept getting mostly Harry potter shit instead of 'you are my sunshine'. I also find it intersthing that i did this, and made the plot a little bit intertwine with actual history. as for the jimmie davis thing and the other band name, that is all correct from what i've found and including the years as well.

Well then. this was fun.

Also, of course, this past week, i've been posting chapters almost non-stop, well, its sort of going to stop. i mean, i had done these chapter from chapter 15 to this one like three or four weeks ago. so, yea, i'm all caught up with the chapters that i made long ago, and now will write the other chapters. there is also 7 more chapters to go before the end of the season, and we will then enter season 2 of UM.

have a good night everyone.

Morgan freeman…again…

Well then,…shit. it looks like they had to send in the black guy again. Ok then, so what the fuck do we have here? It seems that we have a dead hobo body, that looks like a black guy pony.

Well what do we have here now? That is good for a change. Finally doing a black guy that’s not racist to his own kind.

Well then, let’s read his adventure. When the royal guards took the dead body away, his hooves and legs were dragged on the ground and picked up some shit. The dead body was then thrown into a carriage, which was a cell type carriage.

It was thrown into a cell already occupied by some other living breathing white pony.

Then the pony asked the dead body, “I guess they got you too, huh? So, what are you in for?”

Then the dead body of course did not say a word.

Then the pony said, “Sounds harsh. You know you should not be in for what you have done. It wasn’t your fault. I mean, I was in the same situation. I didn’t mean to kill the guy. He just died on his own and they thought I poisoned him. I can just tell that we’re going to get along in the dungeon till we get a fair trial in Cantorlot.”

Then they both somehow talk through the night and shared stories of days past and sang songs together. Soon, they arrived at their destination, which was the dungeon area.

They were soon was forced to walk to their cell, and somehow the dead body walked, but, let’s say it was creepy as fuck. It seems like these ponies have seen everything, really. Anyways, they were both in their dungeons; however, all prisoners were treated fairly.

They were given their foods and bathed daily. However, one day, they got a new cellmate. It was a tough pony who had killed a guy over a cherry.

He was big strong pony and had those killing looks in his eyes. Soon, when the tough pony saw his new cellmates, he looked at the one who was alive.

He licked his lips and he started to have an organism and was thinking of all the things he was going to do to him.

He then went up to the pony, and started to rape him. The pony cried for help, but it was full of the tough pony’s big dirty cock that he was forced to suck.

The pony tried to motion the dead body to call for help, but the dead body did absolutely nothing.

Then the tough pony saw this and started to beat the pony to a bloody pulp for trying to get help.

Eventually, a guard saw this happening and tried to get the two ponies apart, but the tough pony just knocked him out and made run for it.

The pony was in very bad shape, so he could not walk, move, or do anything really.

I mean, his fucking legs were broken and bleeding everywhere. He was pretty much going to become a vegetable for the rest of his life.

Therefore, the pony looked at the dead hobo body, the best he could, sense he had black eyes.

He said to the dead hobo body, “Dead hobo body. You have to make a run for it. This is your chance. Be free.”

Then the dead hobo body didn’t say a word, but somehow, according to the guy, he did say something.

The pony’s response was, “Don’t worry about me dead hobo body. I’ll be fine. I haven’t had anything else to live for anyway. You have to do this. Make a break for it. for our friendship.”

Then there was a moment of silence once more and the pony said, “Perhaps we will meet again one day dead hobo body.
Perhaps we will. Maybe, in another life, in another time. Maybe, just maybe…if the universe lets us that is. We will meet again in another life, in another time period. Sure, we will not remember each other dead hobo body. However, we will have a weird Déjà vu come to us, wondering where we have seen each other. I mean, you will have your same birth mark as before.”

In addition, it turns out that the dead hobo body had a shooting star birthmark.

Then the pony continued to say, “You see… my friend. We are all connected one way or another. So don’t give up hope on us seeing each other one day again. Besides, we will perhaps come across a pony named Tom Hanks and he will be either a douchebag or a hero of some sort. So, I bid you…a good day my friend.”

Then the dead hobo body slowly somehow fucking walked past the cell doors. However, before he made his escape, he looked back at his friend, and somehow had a very creepy smile on his face.

Then, he somehow ran and escaped. Of course, it was late at night and he was running for his life and guards were everywhere, trying to look for him, but he escaped.

Soon, he went into the woods and tried to find a new home. Meanwhile, there was a small group living in a cabin in the woods.

Now, there was not any sacrificing going on to Joss Wedon of course and having that white guy from Thor and from that cabin in the woods movie are here.

The youngest of the group, a boy, who was doing chores around the cabin. The boy had lost his parents; however, somehow he killed the ponies that were trying to help him find a new home and escaped to find a home that took him in.
Not sure, if that’s ironic there, but, still though. Well, the boy was doing chores, the bitch was cleaning the cabin while the husband just read the Equestria Daily News.

The boy was chopping wood up for the fire and for other useless shit, maybe raping it the dam thing.

You know, sense all white guy do that. Well, the boy was chopping up wood with the hot Celestia’s summer sun beating down his neck.

He then said to the husband of the bitch, “May I take a break sir for a while?”

Then the husband guy said, “Sure, why not? You worked hard enough, didn’t you?”

Then the boy walked a bit far from the home. He then looked for a bit to sit down under a nice big tree. Perhaps a tree that had some shade so he could relax and perhaps take a nap for an hour or two.

The boy eventually found the tree that he was looking for and he got under it and started to feel relax.

Soon… he did and he was dozing off into dreamland. Then, he heard a noise. The noise had startled him so much; he grabbed a fucking stick to defend himself.

Well then, you can clearly tell that he is a dumbass. Maybe his parents gave him up because he was a retard.

Well, the boy saw a figure shadow from under one of the trees. He ordered it to come out, and the dead hobo body slowly revealed itself to the boy.

Then the boy had a strange odd look on his face.

He then said to the dead hobo body, “what’s wrong little guy? Are you lost?”

Then the dead hobo body just backed up away from the boy that he shows fear. That doesn’t make a lick of fucking sense.
How does a dead body show fear? I swear, I was better off narrating that Shaw shank place.

Well, anyway, the boy said to the dead body, “No. Don’t be afraid of me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Then the boy then somewhere grabbed a treat that he just happened to have on him. Unless he found a tree that fucking grow food, I suggest that he killed someone for it on his way to the tree.

Well anyway, the body looked at it with caution, but slowly took a bite of it. Then, it liked it, and wanted some more.
Then, the boy took out more and gave it to the dead body. Soon, the dead body got comfortable around the boy, that he took a liking to him.

The dead body eventually got close to the boy and the boy hugged it.

Then the boy said to the dead body, “Well then. It seems that you don’t have an owner, do you?”

Then the dead body did absolutely nothing at all. In addition, I’m sure having a dead hobo body as a pet is illegal in Equestria.

Anyways, then the boy said, “Well, that’s going to change. How about I give you a name first. How about dead hobo body. That fits you perfectly. Come on, let’s go see me not-so-real dad.”

Then the boy got up and started his way back home. As he was walking, the dead hobo body joyfully followed him.

He eventually got back to the cabin and the husband asked, “What took you so long. It’s about dinner time.”

Then the boy said, “Yes, however, I found this stray animal in the woods without anybody. I was wondering if I can keep him.”

Then the husband guy said, “I don’t know. He could have rabies.”

Then the boy said, “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssssssssssseeeeeeeeee?”

Then the husband guy said, “Well, all right then. However, you had better look after him. I’m not responsible for him.”

Then the boy said to his papa, "Oh I will dad, I'll take real good care of him."

Then the boy had a smile on his face, while the dead hobo body had pretty much the same thing as well.

Then the boy said to the dead hobo body, “Come on buddy, let’s go play back in the yard.”

Then the dead body agreed and showed it with a bark somehow and they both cheerfully played together.

Then the husband started to watch the two of them play together, and he said to his bitch of a wife, “Ain’t this amazing. A boy and his dead hobo body.”

Then the bitch of a wife said to him, “You know eventually that dog will have to do some work around the place if he wants to be part of this family.”

Then the husband said, “Let’s not worry about that now. Let the boy have fun with his dead hobo body. Besides, he sort of deserves it.”

Then the bitch of a wife said, “Well, along as it pays the bills. Now come on and eat now, your dinner is getting cold. You too boy! Come on in and eat! I’ll fix your dog something to eat.”

Then, they all ate in the cabin and had a nice day together. Well, to make it a long story’s short, let’s skip to the ending of this relationship so we can all move on with our racist lives.

Then, for about 3 years later or god knows how long, I don't get paid to keep track of the time, it was a quiet day. The bitch was cleaning while the boy was writing a letter to someone, while the dead hobo body was resting. Then, the husband came in with the Equestria Daily News, and came in with bad news.
He then said to every pony in the room, “Well, I’ve got some bad news for you all. This cabin is getting foreclosed on.”

Then the bitch said, “But we were paying our bills. How could this be?”

Then the husband said, “Well, somehow the economy has gone bad. Not even the Princesses can’t even fix this, although there are some sources and reports coming in that they’ve been having a blue unicorn who seems to have a cowpony hat on enter and leave the castle from time to time.”

Then the bitch said, “Well does any pony know who he is?”

Then the husband said, “That’s the thing. No one knows who he is. He is sometime seen carrying a briefcase with him. That and sometimes a pony who is completely covered in black armor is sometimes flowering him. However, ever since this blue unicorn has been seeing the princesses, he has been slowly starting to get the Economy back on track. In fact, he’s starting to make it even better then it was before in some places. However, we’re not lucky enough to be in an area where the economy is getting better. So unfortunately, we’re losing our home.”

Then the boy was outraged and protested, “That’s not fair. We should tell that blue fancy unicorn to help this area out instead of those other ones. They already have helped, what about us?”

Then the husband said, “Now, let’s not get too hasty. I’ve checked with the bank and we have enough money to start fresh. Perhaps somewhere the economy is better. However, you will have to abandon your dead hobo body pet.”

Then the boy was shocked and did not have words to express what he was feeling right that moment.

Then the husband guy said, “Come over here. let’s have a little talk.”

Then the boy refused to do so and said, “No! You can’t make me do this you son of a bitch! You can’t just make me give up my best friend in the whole wide world!”

Then the husband guy said, “Now we all have to make sacrifices if we want to start off a new life.”
Then the boy said, “I don’t want a new life!”

Then the husband said, “Listen, either the dead hobo body leaves, or you leave, along with your pet. It’s your choice.”

Then the boy looked back at the husband guy and at the dead hobo body.

Then he said, “Give me a few minutes with him outside, along with something that will make a loud noise and an axe.”

Then the husband guy nodded and soon the boy and the dead hobo body was outside.

In addition, I still can’t believe how long this guy’s life is. Anyways, the dead hobo body and the boy was outside.

They were about somewhat a good distance from the house, and the dead hobo body was there, wondering what the fuck was going on. The boy had a very sad look on his face, all because he had to give up his only weird dead pet friend, dead hobo body. Well, the boy put the things that make loud noises when it goes off and had about three of them.

Then the boy said to the dead hobo body, “I’m sorry that I have to do this do you boy. I mean, I do not want to, but I have to. It is… for the best. I mean, you will be able to go back into the wild and have a good life. Maybe even make some friend with other animals, such as a raping duck. That and it’ll be good for me to move to another town, so I can have other friends. However, sometimes, you were a douchebag dead hobo body. Go on then. Go!”

Then the boy lit one of those things that make noise and it went off. It made a loud pop sound however; it made a sound similar to when a shotgun has been fired.

I think that is what he was going for. Well, the dead hobo body did not move a single inch. In fact, he just stood there, confused not knowing what to do. In fact, he had thought this was a sex thing.

Apparently dead hobo bodies were not taught properly when they were young. Now it is starting to sound like dead hobo bodies are a new type of animals now, isn’t it? Well, anyways, the noise maker thingy made a little smoke, and when the smoke cleared, the dead hobo body was still there.

Then the boy yelled at the dead hobo body, “Dam it! I said get on out of here! Go on then! get!”
Then he lit another match and set the next noise maker thingy off. The light eventually reached the thing that sets off the noise.

Then the noise thingy jumped up about…I don’t fucking know.

Maybe 20 or 30 feet in the air, like how a bullet would be. Well then, the dead hobo body was still there, although he was a bit startled and thought he should leave, however, he then thought of something else.

He had thought, maybe this is more than a sex thing. Maybe this is S&M. then, then dead hobo body was trying to figure out the safety word, which he had thought it was crackers.

Well, the boy was sure this time around that the dead hobo body was up and left the area, but when the smoke cleared, he had found out that he was wrong. Then the dead hobo body said, “Crackers.”

Then the boy has a tear form in his eye and it slowly came down his cheek. He was thinking of how nice it sounded and then thought of all the good time.

He then thought about giving up on trying to get rid of him, but he knew this was for the best, and pushed those good memories aside.

He then looked at the dead hobo body and said, ‘Didn’t you hear me the first dam time! don’t try to make this even harder on me! You are only going to make this worse for yourself in the end! Now last chance. Get boy! Get… before you know what’s coming to you!! I said get now!!! Get on walking over there and never come back! For your own good!”

Then the boy lit the last match and lit the last noisemaker thingy. Once again, the fire went and reached the thing that sets off the noise.

When it did, it had a different sound to it this time. It sounded like whenever you put a kangaroo up a donkey’s asshole, while fucking a tiger that has AIDS, while you are eating buffalo shit and you down it with beer.

Then you see a dying giraffe that is being raped by an alligator, while drinking jizz from a skunk while it’s balls are being ripped off by an ape, while it’s eyes sockets are being burned alive.

Not sure what sound that makes, well here it is.

Surprised, aren’t you? It sounds like a dying giraffe with a dildo up its ass while stepping in some shit because it had a bad day. Need I say more? Well, as soon as the smoke cleared this time, instead of the boy being ferrous and the dead hobo body being afraid, they just stood there.

They just stood there and looked into each other’s eyes, trying to make sense of what the fuck just happened.
I mean, that is a sound that you don’t normally hear every day. Then again, it is not every day that you get narrated by Morgan Freeman.

So, after each of them was staring at each other, then the boy finally was out of his weird trance, and was mad as hell.
He then grabbed his axe…somehow, considering the fact that he was an Earth Pony. In matter of fact, how does an Earth Pony have a grip on things anyway?

I mean, I would understand how it would be possible if the pony were black, because, you know. He’s black and shit.
Maybe they can bend their hooves. I don’t know. Morgan Freeman doesn’t watch My Little Pony, because I’m always too busy pimping out with Jesus and God in heaven.

I mean, come on, we have some fine ass honeys with us at a dance club at a table every night.

It’s badass and we get drunk off our asses too. Anyways, I guess it would make sense, although I’m guessing some Bronies would know.

Well, whatever, it’s not black guy related, so let’s just move on. Well, as I said, the by grabbed the axe, and went up very close to the dead hobo body. When he got up close, he had those killing looks in his eyes and then raised the axe up high in the air.

The dead hobo body flinched a bit, by thought about it for a second time and thought that they were both playing a little game together. Then the dead hobo body then screamed at him.

However, a scream is what it took for the dead hobo body to leave. However, the dead hobo body ran for a bit, and was about three or four yards away from the boy.

The boy had thought he was going to run away and won’t stop, so he decided to walk away. However, the boy checked back to make sure he continued to run, however, he did not.

Therefore, the boy had an even more angry face on him, he ran towards the dead hobo body with the axe, and he threw it at him.

The dead hobo body didn’t get hit, but it was very close though. Hit it a tree near the trunk of it.

Then the dead hobo body continued to run and didn’t look back. Soon the boy retunred to the husband guy with a sad face on.

Then the husband guy was waiting for him and had seen the whole thing. He then looked at the boy and was a bit proud of what he did.

He then said, “Well, I’m a bit proud of you boy. You did the right thing. It was for the best for both of you.”

Then the boy had tears starting to form and run down his face. He then replied to the guy, “Was it right pa? was it right to drive him away? Was it right to drive my only family away?”

Then he went back into the cabin. Also, why the fuck does the boy call the husband guy, ‘pa’? That makes no sense at all. Then again, I’m a black guy in a white guy show, so it doesn’t matter if I ask it or not. Anyways, later that night, the boy was in his room, looking up at the ceiling.

He wondering if god hated him or I should say Fausticorn that is. Well, let me tell you, Fausticorn has not time with your shit. Neither Korean Fausticorn in an alternate universe.

She busy with Korean shit. and if Ice Cube ever finds me for saying a quote that he said in 21 Jump Street, I’ll kick his ass with no problem.

Besides, how is he going to come up to heaven if he’s going to hell besides, god has a shit list and all.

I’m also surprised that Obama is on the list as well. Strange isn’t it? The first black guy as president, and he’s going to hell.
Then again, it’s a black guy thing and only black guys would understand, and not any of you white people would.

Therefore, the husband guy went into the boy’s room and told him, “listen. I know it has been a rough day for you. However, I just wanted to let you know, that what you did was a good sacrifice. Look on the bright side, the dead hobo body might just end up being killed and skinned alive for his fur.That and you get to continue living with us. We’re leaving in the morning on a ship to Manehatten.”

Then the husband guy left and the boy got off the bed and started packing. He was packing his cloths and shit, and eventually came across an old photo of him and his dead hobo body. When he saw it, he cried. The next day, the family, which I think it is a family, was at the shipyard.

It was busy with a shitload of ponies. Ponies had shipments to make while other was trying to sell some of their shit, such as fruit. Some were hauling cargo onto a ship.

With the family, those were in an open carriage. They had all of their suitcases and bags and trunks as well loaded onto the carriage.

They were near their ship that they were going to take off on. When they got near it, some ponies got the luggage and put it on board with the other pony’s luggage.

They were then about to climb on board. They were on the boardwalk and the boy stopped.

He was so close to getting on the ship, but he didn’t. The husband guy asked him, “What is wrong with you boy? Are you ok? Is there something?”

Then the boy once again came out of his trance and then said to the husband guy, “No. I’m not going with you. I’m going back for dead hobo body. I don’t care if he can’t come or not. I don’t care if I’m not even part of this family no more! Dam it! he’s my family, and not you or anyone at this dam ship is going to tell me otherwise. So fuck you and have a nice day!”

Then the boy went off walked all the way back to the an abandoned cabin. He then started a fire and fixed the place up a bit. Then, as he was working outside, the dead hobo body saw him.

He had wanted to see if any dead bodies were hidden inside the cabin after the family had left, so he could maybe make some friends with.

However, he saw his old owner, and saw him have a happy face on. Then the dead hobo body started to run towards his old owner and with cheer in his heart.

Soon, they both came together and were happy has shit. Then the boy said to the dead hobo body, “I promise that I won’t ever leave you again.”

Then, they both went inside an had a meal together. As time went on, two years had went by, and somehow the Pony was old as shit.

I don’t understand that. He was young not two years ago, but now he’s on his death bed.

In fact, how the fuck does a pony age here anyway in this dam place? It doesn’t make quite much sense, but apparently it does so to Knight and every pony else.

Whatever, you white guys can have whatever you want. I’ll stay to my Morgan freeman shit.

Well, anyways, the boy was in his rocking chair that he had made, sitting by the fire. The dead hobo body was sleeping right next to him. It was snowing outside and it was cold as fuck.

The boy was about to die. Then he quietly woke up the dead hobo body, and said, “Listen. I know… we had fun times.
We had fond memories…, I’ll never forget those fond memories, and I shall forever cherish them in my heart.
However, I think it’s time for you to go. Now, I’m not trying to kick you out or anything, however, as you can tell, I have lived a long live and I am now on my death bed. I want you to be free. You still have a long life ahead of you. Go on out there and make something of yourself dead hobo body. It’s best if you do so.”

Then the dead hobo body was sad, sense his old owner was about to do die.

Then the boy said, “Don’t be sad boy. Perhaps, we will meet each other again one day, in another life. In another decade perhaps. We will meet again one day. I promise you that.”

Then the dead hobo body licked the owner’s face, in which the lick had blood all over it. Then the owner had a smile on his face.

Then he said to his dead hobo body, “Now go on dead hobo body. Go on and make something of yourself. Make something of yourself, which the world will appreciate of you.”

Then the dead hobo body slowly walked out of the cabin. However, as he was doing so, Knight and a metal enemy of his crashed through the cabin. The metal enemy was knocked out for a bit and Knight took a second to look to where he was.
Knight said, “Where the fuck am I?”

Then Knight noticed Dead hobo body and he said, “Oh. It’s dead hobo body. Didn’t think I’ll see you ever again. Well then, well played.”

Then Knight’s metal enemy got back up and he started to fight again. Then the metal enemy used his rockets whatever the fuck they are called and got the fuck out of there.

Then Dead Hobo Body decided not to make sense of what the fuck just happened, even though it was his old friend Knight. Dead hobo body then looked back, and knew that his owner was dead.

Therefore, the dead hobo body went out into the cold winter night, and saw Luna’s moon high in the sky, along with the stars so up above.

Then he went through the woods and didn’t look back. However, the owner really wasn’t dead, but was a robot. The head opened up and somehow that little green alien from the Jetsons or the Flintstones was there.

You know, that little green alien that was there and talked to that ginger guy in the Jestsons? come on? You white people should all know that by now, should you?

Well, anyways, he opened up the face and said, “Dam it! I fucked up again! This is Bullshit! That Jetson guy ripped me off! next time I see him, I’ll get my gang together and kick his ass! Then I’m going to rape his wife! I can’t believe this alternate universe teleported life thing doesn’t work.”

Then the little alien guy was gone. Soon, the dead hobo body was in the forest and was looking at the stars.

He eventually got to where he was going at, in which it was Manehatten. He was one of many ponies going to Manehatten.
Mostly to find work. Many colts had heard there were plenty of jobs available that were in need.

In fact, there was a job to build walls, because there were giant monsters that came from another dimension form beneath the sea that were sent by aliens to kill them.

Well, they were building the walls and Dead Hobo Body was sin an area in which he was called along with many others because there was an announcement to be made.

A random pony made the announcement, and said to every pony, “Alright, I’ve got good news and bad news! The bad news is that four ponies died today from falling off the structure. The good news is that I have four job openings. Who wants to die today?!”

well, dead hobo body was one of the lucky ones and got one of the jobs. His job was to make sure no construction worker rapes a hot mare.

Well, he did his job every well, because it was a pointless job sense all the workers were married colts.

However, dead hobo body got paid for nothing anyway. Although it does not make quite much sense how a pony died from the structure if he was meant to be on the ground.

Maybe he got bored so he played on top of the structure. Then again, that would have been a retard that would have done that.

So most likely, the pony that previously had the job was suicidal from having the job. That makes more sense than the retard one.

Yes, it sure does, because I’m a black guy, and chances are, you’re white. However, if you’re not, then I welcome you my friend to being black. That’s enough said before I get a shitload of angry mail letter, then again I can just burn them sense I’m Morgan Freeman and shit.

Therefore, dead hobo body had been getting used to his new line of work and it was a month until he got used to it.

Dead hobo body was happy that he had it and was in his small apartment that he could afford for his salary. He had a candle light going on by his beside, until he heard voices in the hall.

When he heard them, he had just thought it was domestic disturbance and was going to let whatever happen to the poor bitch happen. However, he had recognized the voices.

Then, he jumped up and was about to go out the window, until a Russell crow like pony opened the door and started to sing like in Les Miserable’s.

The crow pony said, “24601! I have finally found you! After all these long years! I have finally found you! You may have thought you have escaped me 24601! However, you are wrong! And now you shall come back with me so you can forever rot in your hell hole in prison!!”

Then dead hobo body started to sing as well and then he said to the crow pony, “I swear it wasn’t me! You know it wasn’t me! It was an accident! Now let me free! I did not do it at all! And you know that for a fact! Besides that guy did it himself!!”

Then the crow pony said, “You lie! You lie with sin!! I remember you that night! at the bar in this very city! There was an Irish pony fight! A revolution that happened that night! I saw you do it from the corner of my eye! Now come back with me so you shall pay your debts that will never be paid!”

Then dead hobo body said, or should say sing, since this is a Les Miserable’s moment, “That is where you are wrong sir. I shall not pay my debts. God knows that I am a good colt. She knows that I have done nothing wrong. Besides, why should I even go back the place where I was treated unfairly?!”

Then the crow pony singed, “I have a message for you. Do you recall your old cell mate? The one that you spent your time with. The one who was your only friend in prison? He died this morning, and I was beside him. he begged of me not to go after you. he said he would pay me all that he has got in his old bank account if I let you go. However, since I hold up the law. I refused it and he cried till he died. And now I shall bring you back to the very same prison and you shall be there, till the end of your days.”

Then dead hobo body singed, “After all of these years, he’s finally dead. Moreover, you refused his only death wish, of me being set free. I shall not go back with you. Besides what could you do to stop me?”

Then the crow pony slowly slid his sword. Then he sold it to dead hobo body and then dead hobo body looked around the room and tries to find something to defend him with. Then he just happened to have a sword in his room that was just like that crow pony’s one. Then they start to have a duel.

While they were having the duel, apparently, the music from Les Miserable’s started to play and the crow pony singed, “24601!”

Then while the crow pony was saying the dead hobo body was singing, “I shall not go.”

Then the fighting lasted for about a good five minutes, and when dead hobo body was out the window and happened to be on some rope, he sung, “I knew you wouldn’t kill me. You know that I did everything right in my life!”

Then the dead hobo body disappeared and the crow pony was left alone in the room. Then in the background, the music was soft and the crow pony looked like he was depressed as shit. Then the crow pony went to the roof of the building and looked upon Luna’s night and started to sing once more.

Crow singed, “have I became this colt? Have I changed my ways? I have hold up the law for so many years. I have not let one prisoner out of my sight. I didn’t even let them go nor feel sorry for them. Maybe I he is right. He did nothing wrong.
No! An accident or not, he still has to pay for his crimes. Besides, I know that a criminal lies no matter what. I am a gentlecolt of the law and I shall be loyal to the law. I shall find him one day and I shall kill him one day. I will always be loyal to the law and to the royal sisters! I swear on Luna’s night! That I will catch him, and if I don’t let my soul forever be n purgatory!”

In addition, the crow pony was also very close from the edge and falling down and becoming a flat pancake.

Well, the thing is, he’s not emo enough to do so. Well, Luna’s night soon vanished and turn into Celestia’s morning sun.

Soon, every pony in Manehatten was all up and about doing some sort of shit. In fact, there was a bar or the pub I should say, that was getting ready for business. Inside the bar were tables and wooden chairs. In fact, it was filthy as shit.

Then a random blond bitch pony with crooked teeth was looking over things. Then there was a small girl that was sad and depressed as shit.

She was moping the floors and the blond bitch pony noticed she was slacken off a bit.

Then she went up to her and yelled at while singing at the same time. She singed, “That are you doing!? What are a bitch!? What you a whore!? Get off your ass right now! We’re opening five minutes! We’re going to be very busy! We’re going to rip off many colts now! So why don’t you pick up the pace, unless you don’t want to sleep in the cold dirty floor at night!?”

Then the little girl said, “I’m sorry, but I’ve been so tired. You haven’t given me anything to eat in days. I have very little water. I don’t have a good place to sleep at night.”

Then the blond bitch pony said, “You selfish little whore! I should slap you sideways! You are a bitch! You are nothing! Ever since you’re real parents died! You have been an annoying little fucker! Now how about you fuck off! And go do something useful, you little bitch!”

Then the blonde bitch’s real daughter, who was an Asian pony girl, walked into the room. Then the blond bitch’s eyes were soft and gentle and calm once more. She then knelt down to talk to her favorite child.

She singed, “Oh my little girl. How are you doing? Do you want some food? Are you thirsty for clean water now? Do you want your father, to get you anything at all?”

Then the Asian pony singed, “No, nothing troubling mum. I just wanted to see if my cousin can play?”

Then the blond bitch said, “oh you don’t want her! She just a little whore! There’s plenty of children outside that you could play with now. Maybe even help mommy and daddy to pay the rent, by pick pocketing them! How about that you do that instead?”

Then the Asian girl nodded her head and she left to pickpocket some douchebags. While these two were singing, the little girl was hiding behind the staircase, and she was crying out her eyes.

Then the blond bitch singed to her, “don’t you forget. That you are nothing. You are a bitch and no one will ever love you. besides, you are just as a pain in the ass just like my sister. So why don’t you go get some water from the well far in the woods. And bring it here, and maybe you will see tomorrow come.”

Then the blond bitch left and went to wake up the douchebag of a husband. Then the little girl went to get water from the well. It was a cold and dark, snowy night.

She got the water and was trying her best to carry it. However, she was crying a bit, until she saw a dark figure walk towards her. She went and hides, however, the dark figure spoke or singed in this case.

The dark figure singed, “Don’t worry; I am not going to harm you. You have nothing to fear. Come out and show yourself to me.”

Then what came out of the shadows was dead hobo body. When the little girl heard this, she was a bit curious and poked her head out to see who it was. She looked at dead hobo body and was still a bit afraid, but had some sort of comfort and safety when she saw him.

Then the dead hobo body continued to sing, “I see your face, little girl. Come to me, for I may protect you. I know your troubles that you have come to face. I have saw you get abused by that blond bitch of a aunt, every time I’m on my way to work. Do not fear, for I am here, to take you away from your abusive life.”

Then the little girl thought it over for a moment in her head, and then decided to accept his offer. She then ran crying into his hooves and thanking him for helping her out with her life.

Then, dead hobo body went for a work into town. While walking, the little girl saw a doll that she wanted.

When dead hobo body saw this, he sung, “I know you want that doll, however, I’m pretty sure you’re still a little bitch though.”

Then the little girl was a bit shocked by this, but continued on with life and eventually killing three people in her future, all because she didn’t get the doll.

Nice going dead hobo body. You fucked up. Well, dead hobo body went to the bar, and looked for the aunt.

Then when the aunt came to see dead hobo body, she saw the little girl hiding behind dead hobo body.

The blond bitch then singed, “I can see that you are here to return that little girl to us. She was being a little whore wasn’t she? Do us a favor and please kill her. She has been a bitch to us, and is nothing special at all.”

Then dead hobo body singed, “Oh well then. I did come here to tell you I was going to keep her, and give her a brand new life. A life better than this one. However, since Slavery really does not exist here, and the fact that you didn’t want her, I’m not going to give you money I was going to pay for her. For that, I bid you, a good day blond bitch.”

Then dead hobo body and the little girl left the bar, while the blond bitch was shocked that she didn’t get the money.

Then the dead hobo body happily lived happily ever after. The end, back to Knight’s story that you properly forgot. Dam it; I know I can’t get away with it. ok, so there’s more to dead hobo’s life and what happened to him.

I thought I could lie and save you some time and actually get back to the story, but let’s just say, since I’m in the same universe as Knight is in right now for the moment. Which is also the only way I can narrate this stuff, let’s just that Fausticorn won’t be happy with me if I did skip this part. Don’t ask why she wouldn’t be happy, but she just wouldn’t.
Besides, I’m a black guy. I don’t want to get the bitch angry, even if they aren’t on their period.

Besides, she is more powerful than me. Although, Knight is more powerful than her, but Neon is more powerful than him.
It’s a bit confusing and all, but let’s just say, Neon is the most powerful here and I’m not even sure where that was going, but let’s finish up this life, so I can take break.

My narrating abilities are starting to ward off. Well, 6 years had passed, and another revolution had started it up against Manehatten and it’s bullshit laws.

Well, it was a bright and sunny day and Celestia’s sun was still high in the sky. There was a sort of an event going on in the streets.

There was a crowed of ponies, gathering around a few carriages, that had some rich white folks in it. The folks were people who helped run the city of Manehatten, and they were just as corrupted as Obama was when he was president.

Can’t believe he betrayed us. In addition, I also trusted him, and he’s black like me and he betrayed the blacks. Dam Obama did nothing good for us anyways but being black.

Well, that’s story is for another time whenever Morgan freeman finally kills him, but back to the life that makes no sense at all.

The ponies that were crowded around the carriges were singing, “Look down. Look down. Look down at the ground and look at us all who are in pain.”

Then a little fucker came out of nowhere, most likely because he was a colt, and started singing. He sung, “good day to you sir, my name is little bush. These are my friends and all that that care about me. Nothing too much special, I know too. However, that is what makes us unique and better then you rich ponies. This is my town, my only home. This is where I was born and where I’ll die. We live in the filth and find whatever we can eat whenever we can. Think you’re poor!? Thinking you’re free!? Follow me! Follow Me!”

also, may the black guy comment on how that the boy, or apparently his name is little bush, moved from carriage to carriage.

Then as he was moving from carriage to carriage, the ponies that crowed the streets continued to sing.

They singed once again, “Look down! Look down! Look down at the ground and look at us all that who are in pain.”

Then the boy or Little Bush singed, “There was a time when we overthrew the last mayor of this town. We had our hopes up way too high. Then it came crashing down because the last mayor is no better than the last. This land hoped for change. Now when we hope, we hope our lives get better. Here’s the thing with our lives. Our lives get better when we die. Take your stand! Take your belief! Viv la Manehatten! Viva la Manehatten!”

Then the was about last of the boy or little bush’s lines.

Then the ponies that crowded the streets once more singed the same fucking thing. They singed, “Look down! Look down! Look down at the ground and see all of us that are in pain.”

Then a random guy that came the fuck out of nowhere started to sing. He sung, “We will rise! We will succeed! We will never tremble for the mayor! We will be victorious! You will not stop us in our plan for our revolution! We will fight for our freedom! We will fight for hope! We will fight for what matters that is right! You will never crush our sprit for fighting!”

Then the random guy pony got down and randomly went back to his house. He went upstairs to a very poor apartment room, where he had a chest.

In that chest, hailed a white guy knife. The difference between a white guy knife and a black guy knife, is that a black guy’s knife is better.

Therefore, he took it out, so just in case a royal guard tried to attack him, he would be able to defend himself. You know what else? He’s also a dumb mother fucker, maybe because he is white.

The thing is, that the royal guards, has fucking armor. Unless that knife is able to pierce through that amour, he’s fucked. He then went back outside, to try to stab a guard. Well, luckily, that little girl from before, who was all grown up in pony years, was walking by.

That random guy just stared at her and went awe, I guess. Maybe because… well, you know.

Then another friend of his walked up to him, and singed, “I know that you have your eyes on her. Come on now we all know, that you have a crush on her. In addition, to be honest you are meant for her, for you are rich, and she is rich too.

Her father is dead hobo body, who is a very rich and important colt. He also helps who is in need, such as us, the poor.
So why don’t you go talk to her?” then the random guy singed, and while doing so, he actually stabbed some guards and killed some. I can’t believe it. I don’t think he’s white.

I think he’s a black guy pony in disguise as a white guy pony, which means he’s a traitor. Well, anyways, he sung, “I do love her as you say. I do believe we’re meant for each other. I do believe we would be happy together, for we see eye to eye. In addition, I’m sure dead hobo body wouldn’t mind me dating her. However, I’m afraid, that something horrible will happen during the revolution, and I will die. Then she would moan and cry her eyes out. Sure, she could move on and shit. I don’t want that happen to her now. I only want the best for her.”

In addition, while he was singing, he killed about 15 guards. I’ll admit, I’m impressed by a traitor, but he still won’t be trusted in the black guy heaven area.

Then the random guy’s friend singed, “Don’t you worry, about losing the revolution. Don’t worry about going to jail. Don’t worry about dying either. All will be fine, and we will win. Just as if you said, we will be victorious. You should not worry a bit. We will win the fight. We will stand against those who stand in our way to victory. We will show those famous and the rich. We will show those who is in charge. We will be better than they will. We just have to prove it and we will victorious.”

Then the random pony eyes widened, and then he strangely had energy. Maybe Neon telepathically transported crack into his system.

Makes sense if you think about it. Then the random guy singed, “You are right! We will be victorious! We will show no fear. In addition, I will not be going to prison, even though I did not say that I was worried about that. I will not fail in my mission from god. Tonight, I shall go to her home and tell her how I feel. And if the father doesn’t like it, I’ll stab him a few times in the heart!”

Then the random guy’s friend was shocked a bit by the last statement and actually talked in a normal voice for once, and he said, “Whoa whoa whoa. Let’ not get a bit carried away there. I mean, that is sort of our support in the revolution. That and I’m sure she would be pissed off by that if you did do so. I mean, sure, she wouldn’t be on her period, but still. You don’t want to have a chick’s wrath on you dude. I mean, just to let you know from a personal experience, she cut off my pony dick, you know? So just don’t kill her father. Got it?”

Then the random guy nodded his head. Then the other guy continued to say, “good. You go ahead and talk to her and you can meet me back at the revolutionary place or apparently a small alleyway. Wait a second here. Our spot where we’re going to win is an small alley way? Well then, we’re fucked, but I already drew blood to show my commitment to the revolution and to the brotherhood, so I guess I still have to go. Well then, see you.”

Then the random guy went away and the random guy that we are supposed to concentrate on left to see that blond chick. It was around at nighttime when he did, and went to the dead hobo body’s rich and very fancy house that he had from all that white people money.

He went there and tried to open the gates, but his knife didn’t do shit. So, he sung and yelling at the same time, “Oh blond chick! I need you! Where are you my love!? I need you right here at these gates! Oh where oh where you might be! These gates weren’t keep us apart!”

Then the blond chick awoken and went to her window. When she opened them, she noticed that one random guy that had a crush on her was there, singing very loudly and horribly, and shit.

Then, she quietly went out her window and towards the gates. When she did so, she started to sing as well, but better then that other random guy that had a crush on her did.

She singed, “oh my love, you’re finally came here. I love you as well, and I’ve also have seen you from a far. I have seen you, with the poor people with the revolution. What are you doing here? aren’t you supposed to help out with the revolution? You shouldn’t be here, my father might hear us and shit.”

Then the random guy that had a crush on the blond chick then singed, “I know the risks. I know that your father might hear us randomly singing out here. However, I needed to tell you, that I love you. That god has brought us together.”

Then the blond chick then singed, sort of like a chorus I guess, “I know that very much and it is very true.”

Then the random guy continued to sing, “we are one and a team. I had come here to tell you, that I am going about to be in the revolution, being barricaded inside a random dark small alley. However, do not fear, that the revolution will win, and after we win, I shall be here to whisk you away, and we could maybe even marry, even though we just started to talk to each other. Therefore, I shall leave, and it might be weeks until you hear from me again.

So, good night, my love, but we will always be together by heart.”

Then the random guy leaves the blond and goes back to the revolution.

While the random guy is leaving, the blond chick says in a low whisper, “Please be save my love.”

Eventually, the random guy went to the revolution spot, or in other words, a really small, dark alley way.

It took a while to find it, since it is such a random spot to be, but then again, in Les Miserable, why did you think they failed at their revolution?

Exactly, there are no blacks in the movie. Chances are, that was what you were thinking and I thank you for agreeing with me.

In addition, if you don’t agree with me, let’s just say that Morgan Freeman is going to be in your dreams tonight.

Alternatively, let’s just say, your nightmares, there is no escape from it either.

Moreover, if I am coming in your dreams tonight, you done messed up boy. In addition, if you are a female, then you really fucked yourself now.

Anyways, the barricade was up and it was nothing but random and mindless shit. Literally. They actually grabbed shit from the toilets to put up the barricaded.

Then again, what else did they have to use? I mean. Sure, there are some wooden chairs here and there, but, really, that was it. I mean, what the fuck do you expect from a small, dark alleyway?

Well, apparently lot, because your hopes are down now. Well, the random guy was eventually let in, although he had to get passed a midget that was a guard.

In other words, it was that one midget from the Wizard of us, that guards the gate to the emerald city.

Then you knock on the door, and he tells you to fuck off, or, in other words, no one gets to see the wizard. Yea, well, let’s just say another universe portal opened up and Knight wasn’t around to see it happen and shit, so, that very same midget appeared.

Therefore, when the random guy entered in, he couldn’t find anybody around. Then, he saw lights at the bar. Apparently, everyone was getting drunk while there was a revolution going on.

Bunch of fucking dumbasses. This is possibly also the reason why they failed in Les Miserable’s, a little bit, even though you didn’t quite see it. I mean, they did drink, but, that was early on, and shit, but still, I hold my opinion.

Besides, Morgan Freeman’s opinion is better than yours. It’s the only thing that matters then the meaning of life.

Therefore, anyways, they were all drunk and were singing a drunken tune. They were singing…

We are fucking drunk.
We are drunken as shit.
We beat our wives because we don’t know what we’re doing.
We take a piss on a random guy.
We can’t see straight,
Nor can we hold a knife.
And if we do, then we just end up killing a guy.
And if that happens, we just end up burying the dead body.
We also kill all the witnesses’ they witnesses the event!
We are drunk,, we are drunk.
We are drunk as shit.
We don’t care if you’re a Zebra or not.
We will stab you no matter what.
And we’re not being racist at all, but only because we’re drunk as fuck.
We can’t even play a piano straight,
Nor can we drive a carriage fine.
We are drunk, we are drunk,
We are dunk as shit.
We might even kill your mother
And we might even rape your father.
It doesn’t matter what happens
Since we’re drunk off our asses.
Hooray for beer!
Hooray for beer!
Hooray for beer!
And we don’t care what happens to you when we’re drunk.
As long as we don’t have to remember it
Or you don’t tell on us on the guards,
We just don’t give a flaming fuck!
We don’t care what horrible things that we do when we’re drunk!
Then, the room got dark and a random fat colt walked up and there was a spotlight on him.
Apparently, this is an opera or something and fat people always get the spotlight somehow. It was also a slow tempo type of thing of the song.
Even though we’re drinking.
We still have feelings
Of what we do.
And even though, we might kill your mother
And rape your father as well,
We will end up saying that we’re sorry.
Then we will get drunk,
Once more, then end up burning,
Your place down to the ground.
So know this,
When we’re drinking ourselves to death,
That we’re sorry,
We’re sorry,
And we will steal all of your bits that you may have.
However, for that reason that we steal your money.
Is… because… that,
We don’t give a flaming fuck!
Mostly because,
We are drunk,
We are Drunk,
We are drunk!

Also, apparently, the last five line, it up beat once again. That and when they said their last line of the song, there was fireworks in the sky, as if it was the Fourth of July or something.

It’s like, they just put on a show or something. I feel like I’m being watched or something.

In addition, I still think that beer song was better than this.

(NOTE: Keep in mind that the animation is shitty because this was made since 2006, surprisingly. Ahhh, Nostalgic Memories, one of the very first things I ever saw on You Tube. So Nostalgic to me, and maybe to you guys as well.)

Well, anyway, the random guy noticed that they were drunk as shit, and he said to them, “What the fuck!? Aren’t you guys supposed to be over, waiting to fight when the royal guards may come, and fight and shit?!”

Then one random drunk guy said, “Oh, don’t worry about that, we have that little boy who singed early keeping watch for tonight.”

Then the random guy said, “But, he’s dead. In fact, they killed him while you guys were singing your beer song. In fact, he died a slow and musical death. I mean, the royal guards…just…ran up to him…and stabbed.”

Well, apparently, that one random white guy was right. That boy from earlier was dead as shit.

He did sing, although all it was that he had singed was, ‘viva la Manehatten’ five fucking time in a row.

In addition, if it makes you people feel any better, the kid was robbed right after the royal guard stabbed him a fear times with his spear.

Then again, what didn’t he have bits, since he was poor and shit? Well, he had some pocketknives and some lint.

Maybe he was Joker Jr. that and apparently he had it coming to him, since how he mugged the rich was stabbing them with his pocket knives, so he had it coming to him.

Although, why did he have lint though? Maybe it was intestinal. Confused? So am I. Let’s move on so I can go to black guy dream land.

I mean, if you want someone to blame, blame god of the universe that Knight is in at the moment. It ain’t my fault that I have to do dead hobo body’s life. I would’ve just given you the short version of it.

which was, Some Prison movie rip off, some heartwarming dog or wolf movie from the 80’s or 90’s, Les Miserable’s rip off, and he saves Knight.

However, apparently I have to go into detail about shit. well, while the revolution was going, back at dead hobo body’s house, dead hobo body noticed that her adopted daughter was outside, still holding on to the gates.

What is that bitch’s problem? Seriously, even black people wouldn’t do that, even the retards.

Then again, they would just continue to stand there and just creepy look out into the distance like a weird creepy asshole.
Whatever, whatever Morgan Freeman says, is whatever Morgan Freeman says, all right?

Therefore, dead hobo body went to check on his daughter. He then singed to her, “My daughter of mine, are you alright? What are you doing out here? Come inside, before shit starts to happen.”

Then the blond chick then started to sing, “Oh father, I have something to tell you. I have a secret that I have been keeping for three minutes, from you. I am in love, with a colt that is in the revolution. It was love at first site, and we are meant to be together. God has made it possible, and for that, god wants us to be together. However, I fear for my love. I fear that he might die during the revolution. I’m worried sick about him, because we’re supposed to marry each other when he gets back from the revolution.”

Then dead hobo body then singed, “Why did you keep this secret for m me these past three minutes ago? Why did you do such a thing? You are to be grounded for the night, however, I have seen this boy as well, and if you do believe that, you are in love with him. That you are meant to be together and god has put you two for husband and wife, then I shall make sure he is all right. However, since you are grounded, from keeping a secret from me for three minutes long time, you stay in your room and don’t come out for anything at all.”

Then dead hobo body went back inside his house to grab a few things and then went his way to the small, dark alleyway where the revolution was taking place.

Even he too, it took him a while to find the place, but he eventually found it. When he did, he tried to get inside, but couldn’t, mostly because there was a pile of pony feces in the way.

So, dead hobo body did what he knew best, fly with that Mecca-Michele Jackson robot from that one Sega Genies game from the 80’s Moonwalker.

Then, robot Michele Jackson dropped him off , and went to molest most little foals and eventually molesting Spike in his sleep, while Twilight didn’t notice. Therefore, eventually he found the random guy that his adopted daughter was in love with.

When the random guy saw him, he said, “It’s you! did my love tell you the whole thing? Did she say what we had was true?”

Then dead hobo body said, “Yea, she told me the whole thing buddy, also, I’m pretty sure since this is a small dark alley way, the revolution is going to fail. Chances are, you’ll properly die, so, just follow me back home, and I guess you can marry my adopted daughter.”

Then the random guy said, “She’s adopted?”

Then dead hobo body said, “Yea, I randomly abducted her. I mean, she thinks that she was adopted it to go to a better home, but, really I just whored her out and gave man with AIDS and other STD’s to come and rape her in her sleep late at night. I mean, that is how I got rich, you know. In addition, I’m just putting it out there, but, on your guy’s honeymoon, you should properly where a condom, because, let’s say what she has… how do I put this? Hmmm.... She has a disease that not even the doctors has seen before. Apparently, it’s a combination of all diseases in history, and made into one super disease. Apparently, they named it after her. I believe they call it, Ghost Dick. Not sure where or how they came up with that name, but it’s there, so, yea. Although that does sound like a pony name for a pony that has a really bad case of the flu and dips his dick in vodka after banging a whore off the streets so he doesn't get a disease, but then got i anyways because he got his sex advice from some skeleton hambone that does a radio show every week. That’s what I think of the name, you know? Well then, let’s get back home, shall we. Let’s just pray to Celestia that you won’t get Ghost Dick disease.”

Then, they were about to walk out of the small, dark alleyway, until, they heard a voice, shouting at the revolution group. it was a leader of the group of royal guards.

He yelled, “We have you surrounded! We will give you one last chance to surrender yourselves, and the mayor will agree to only fuck you over one hundred times over! Now, do we have a deal!?”

That random guy was about to say something, until a random drunk ass pony said, “You can go fuck yourselves, fatty bitches!”

Then the random guy said, “We’re fucked.”

Then that same random drunken ass pony that fucked them, said, “Don’t worry. There is a lot of shit and wood that even they can’t pass through with their spears. It will take them one point five hours to get through, and by that time. Then, we will have enough support to get to the moon and see a talking pear that talks in the royal Cantorlot voice and we will dance with moon crabs, and go to a place called Illegal Mexico, where we will have all the tacos we could have on a Tequila diet.”

Then dead hobo body said, “You are really drunk, are you?”

Then the drunken ass pony continued to say, “That rock can talk. He’s a very funny rock. I’m going to keep him as a pet. I’m going to name him tom. How are you doing tom?”

Apparently, the actual rock, Tom, was there, and it said nothing at all, because he was a rock.

Then the drunken ass pony said, “That’s a good boy. Now play dead.”

Then the drunken ass pony collapsed onto the ground, pissing himself and maybe or maybe not died from alcohol poising.
He properly did, but scientist and Brony experts all agree, that stupidity killed the drunken ass beast.

Then, dead hobo body said, “Well then. That was weird. However, I believe we can escape through the sewers.”

Then the random pony guy said, “But, isn’t that filled so much shit? I mean, those sewers has to be like, filled to the rim by now, right? I mean, I didn’t even know how they even dispose of the waste without putting it in the river? I mean, wouldn’t we drown in other people’s shit? And when we get out, aren’t other ponies going to notice that we just got out of a pile of shit?”

Then dead hobo body said, “They will just think that we are hobos. Trust me, that’s what my friend Knight thought of me when he found me after he got half drunk from drinking tequila. Now, if that drunken ass pony is right, that means we have one point five hours to escape through the tight pipes through he swears.”

Then the random pony guy asked, “Why are the pipes so small?”

Then dead hobo body said, “Because no pony fucking expects other ponies to escape through the swears, now we don’t have much time. let’s move it.”

Then, both of them saw something from the sky. It was falling pretty fucking fast, almost faster than a black guy would fall.
The thing smashed through the barricade and the royal guards and the revolutionary ponies were shocked. It turned out to be Knight on the ground, that was pinned down to what looked like a lone of Knight, except that he had yellow eyes and yellow electricity mane and tail color.

His hooves were also electricity and were yellow as well. He was also very pissed off at Knight and what he had done to him, even though he’s just a clone of Knight.

The clone of Knight said to Regular Knight, “YOU KILLER HER! YOU KILLED THE PERSON THAT I ONLY LOVED! YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED HER YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU KILLED MY LOVE OF MY LIFE! YOU KILLED MY WIFE! YOU KILLED THE ONLY PERSON THAT MATTERED TO MY CHILDREN AS AND ME WELL! YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE AND HAVE GIVEN ME NOTHING TO LIVE FOR! WE WERE HAPPY TOGETHER AS A FAMILY! I HAD A JOB, OF A FUCKING ANIMATOR AND WAS A SUCCESSFUL AND OWNER OF A CARTOON CHANNEL! I EVEN HAD A HAPPY LIFE WITH MY WIFE AND KIDS! MOREOVER, YOU TOOK IT ALL AWAY FROM ME! YOU RUINED IT ALL! YOU KILLED MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE! MOREOVER, FOR THAT, I SHALL TAKE SOMETHING FROM YOU THAT YOU TEND TO VALUE MORE. I SHALL TAKE YOUR LIFE, FOR YOU HAVE TAKEN MY WIFE’S LIFE! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!”

Then regular Knight, the Knight that we all know and love, even though he’s white.

Well, Knight said, “Come on dude! Just get over her! She was just Lauren Faust! I did you a fucking favor! Besides, I won’t burn in Pony Hell, although your soul might get destroyed by her, but still. I did you a mother fucking favor of killing her man! Even though it was in an alternate universe and is an Official Universe of Earth.”

Then as clone Knight was about to kill regular Knight, regular Knight found a metal pipe and grabbed it with his hooves.
Then regular Knight knocked out clone Knight, and clone was just unconscious on the ground.

Then Knight got up and said, “You stupid dumbass mother fucker! I fucking did you a fucking favor! I mean, you weren’t even supposed to exist! You just somehow came out of my ass somehow! The things that I fucking do now a days! Come on you son of a fucking bitch!”

Then Knight dragged the knocked out Clone Knight body and around the royal guards and onto the streets.

Then, the royal guards noticed that the barricade was open, and they cried a battle cried and charged. When the royal guards noticed, dead body said, “Oh fuck.”

Then both of them made a run for the sewers. It took them a while to get through the very small, tiny pipe, but they eventually got to the sewers and were eventually crawling through miles of shit.

If I recalled it, it was about a length as long as a football field. They crawled; oh, they crawled through those miles of pure shit.

Of course, how did they escape through the small, tiny pipe, while the royal guards were attacking?

Well, they got some time with the drunken ass ponies of course. They were used as decors while they escaped.
However, the random guy couldn’t take the five hundred miles of pure shit, so, he eventually dragged him along and eventually got him out.

When he did so, it was raining outside and it was pouring cats and dogs outside. I wonder if Discord would actually do that and harm the cats and dogs.

Maybe, but Q wouldn’t do that. Q instead would make it rain bitchs and money. Then he would go to strip clubs and shit, because, in all honesty, he’s Q.

He can do whatever he fucking please to, and he’s just like me, expect a white guy version of me. However, while those two guys were crawling through the miles of pure shit, they came across Knight.

They were under the sewers, listening on what he was talking about that night. Knight was sitting on a doorstep.

The clone version of him was lying on the ground.

Knight said to himself, while look at himself through a puddle of water, “Look at myself. I’m a wreck. My life, has been nothing but fuck ups. I mean, I find out who I really am and shit gets fucked up.

I find out that by technical standards, I’m the last human alive and will ever be. I find out what happened before god became god, and what she had to do and what happened to her.

I almost destroy an alien city back in the Earth universe. I can’t seem to get that United Universes to get up and running, although, still tweaking out the kinks in it. Inca is a mother fucker who hates me, and that isn’t even a good thing. TF is gone, while I have to deal with him. I find out what really was supposed to happen, and I find why things didn’t go what they were supposed to.

This all happened because of some fucking anime ponies that needed my fucking help! I mean, even the fucking Winter Forest wasn’t much as a hell as this, and she said that even I, nor her two daughters are even allowed to go to The Winter Forest.

It’s brutal as fuck, and it is. I mean, I even turned someone’s life and made him a new enemy of mine. In addition, Celstia thinks I should be prince of Equestria.

Why can’t she fucking get it through her fucking skull that this is my job? This is my fucking life now, all because of that Anime.

However, I can’t blame them, they needed me, so I came to help, and I did. Why does every pony think I should, just stop fighting? I mean, it’s my fucking job. I know I should retire, but I can’t.

Not now. Not now. I’m too deep and I have a lot going for me right now. That and I’m bounded to the universes, so I can’t leave my duty. Besides, I fear that if I do join them with their duties, I fear that my enemies will hurt them, and all thet I love.
Then again, they can’t really get to her, but still. It’ll be like the chaos age, when Discord ruled the land, except it won’t be a troll rule, but, just to see Equestria burn to the ground.

My enemies would rather watch it burn, then to rule it. Moreover, it would all be my fault if I did do so. Then again, TK always said he would take over my place, but I have to continue with my duties with the ancient ones.

Then again, they too as well believe I should retire from my duties and only work when they need me. It does sound tempting, I’ll admit, but I still have duties.

Sure, I can kill all of my enemies I would have nothing to fear, but that is not who I fear at all. I fear of Black. He will stop at nothing till I’m on my knees and begging for him to stop.

He will not stop till I am in pain. I mean, who would kill all of my friends, just to see me in tears and be on the edge of embracing the darkness, as he always wanted me to do. I mean, he would kill Celestia, Luna, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie pie, the rest of the Mane 6, and my other friends.

I mean, there is no way of killing, other than me committing suicide, but I can’t do that.

Then again, I could always do what Celestia and Luna always wanted me to do, ever since I got.”

Then Knight took out a yellow ball of life out of his satchel. He then hold it in his hooves and continued to talk to himself.

He continued to say, “I want to use and say the words, but I won’t not now. I need to see what happens at the end. Only when I’m in my darkest of all moment, is when I shall use it. I mean, I can’t use it now.

It’s only a one time use anyway. I mean, all it does it resets time and makes everything how they are supposed to be.
As tempting as it is, I can’t use it yet. Then again, Celestia and Luna are always fighting me to use it, but I won’t.”

Then Knight puts the yellow ball of light back into his satchel. Then, he looks up, and notices three black crows, staring at him.

He then says to the three black crows, “Get out of here! I know that’s you black! Get out of here! I’m not in the fucking mood to fight you. You should know that since you’re me! Well, at least a version of me that is”

Then Knight looks down at the clone Knight Body. He then said, “What am I going to do with you? Come on, let’s go. I think su-fu could maybe get rid of you. In addition, if not, then maybe she was right in the first place. Then I would just have to go to Fausticron to get rid of you.”

Then Knight got up and walked away, along with dragging the clone Knight Body. Then, we now continue with dead hobo body and shit.

Well, anyways, what happened was that he was carrying the random guy’s body up some random stairs, until he came face to face with that crow guy once more.

The crow singed, “I finally have found. It took me a long fucking time, but I finally figured out you were incognito. You were the rich, and now I have you. You have fallen into my trap. A weird fucking trap that doesn’t even make sense. But I somehow planned all of this, within,…two days…and…Fuck it! I finally I have you where I want you, conveniently. So surrender now and you will only have serve a life sentence and shit.”

Then dead hobo body singed back, “I don’t understand, what do you mean trap? Well it doesn’t matter, but this man needs a hospital, for he crawled through five hundred miles of pure shit. Now, if you excuse me, we have to go now, so I’ll possibly will see you in heaven, since I’m sure you’re going to commit suicide after I leave.”

Then as dead hobo body was about to go up the stairs, that crow guy pulled a knife on him. He then said, finally, “I will kill where you stand if you move or take one more step.”

Then dead hobo body looked at him and said, “You are a fucking liar.”

Then he walks away with the random guy and went to put him in a hospital and shit. Then the crow guy dropped the knife and went to the edge, which was the swear systems and shit.

Then he walked along the edge and singed, “I know what I have done. What have I done? Why didn’t I just do it? I needed to kill him. I am the law! However, he was right. That man needed a hospital, and it wouldn’t be right if I killed him. I wouldn’t represent the law. However, I am the law! So I did something, while did something bad therefore I have sinned! I have sinned in my past; however, I’m sure that I was given from my sins by good! However, I still have to pay for the price for the mistake that I have done. Now, I shall do a over dramatic death and do a very unnecessary Suicide jump!”

Then the crow jumps off the edge and committed suicide and his neck was broken.

Finally, I thought he would never shut the fuck up. In addition, the white guy was right. He was a liar. Maybe white people can be trusted. Fuck it, they can’t. So, the random guy wakes up in bed, and looks around to where he is at.

Then, it turns out he is in a hospital room, where nurse was about to give him a sponge bath. Then the nurse notices that he is awake.

Then she says, “Oh thank Celestia that you are awake. Now I don’t have to fucking give you a sponge bath. Good luck you piece of shit.”

what a nice lady. And what very nice compliment to give to a white guy. I can just tell that she would be very good for our efforts to win the revolution.

Too bad she ain’t black. Well, a zebra for that matter. The black guys could really have appreciated on using her for the revolution, but, we’re shit out of luck. Well, the random guy got up, although, he limped a bit while walking, but still fine.
He then looked out the window into the night, and then he started to sing. Oh god, when will this end?

He singed, “Where am I? What happened to me? I was crawling through miles of pure shit in the sewers. Then everything suddenly cut to black in front of eyes. Then, I don’t remember what happened after that. I started dreaming of my love. That we are in a much better place than this we’d and unnecessary musical. Then again, we’re doing and singing it anyway.
However, the question is, what happened to me? I know that I am in a hospital, but, in which part of the city? Who saved me? Then again, chances are it s dead hobo body, but I’m just going to assume it was someone else that did, but whatever, it’s my part of the fucking chapter to sing, that takes place during the future.”

I am a bit surprised that he knows how to break the fourth wall there. Then again, Neon knows exactly how to break the fourth wall.

In fact, he is an expert. He is even more of an expert at breaking the fourth wall then Pinkie Pie.

Mostly because, well, he is random and insane. Too, be quite honest, that is just how I like my ponies. Nicely random crazy.
Because, chances are, he will end up being a psychopathic killer and kill the white guys for us. Too bad, it has not happen yet, mostly because, well, Neon is just that way. Oh well, better luck next time, right?

Well then, after the random guy singed his part of this unnecessary musical, that blond chick walked in, and she too started to sing.

She singed, “Oh my love, you are ok. I thought that you might have died during the revolution. Nevertheless, thank god and her children that you are all right. I hoped that you didn’t die. When I heard the news, that the revolution failed, I had thought that you might have been killed, but thankfully, you escaped before they killed you. Now I do not have to weep over your tombstone. And now, we can do what you said, and get married, even though we just met two days ago.”

Well then, so they did. In addition, might I add to those lyrics, that when the blond chick singed the part about weeping over his tombstone.

Well, what I want to add is that she forgets to say or sing that she was also going to weep over his living tombstone. Yes, hear those crickets in the background?

That’s the sounds of a black guy making a bad joke. Great, now I, Morgan Freeman, have to go on national Television, and make a public apology for making a bad joke.

Well, you know, what, fuck it, I can do whatever I fucking please. I’m Morgan Fucking Freeman, and I am not sorry for that joke.

Now, please excuse me, so I may be able to finish this dam part of the chapter, so I can do other black guy stuff and so the author can, well, fuck off.

Now, the random guy and the blond chick eventually got married no less then the next day, isn’t it funny how fast a wedding can be made?

In addition, no, it wasn’t a redneck wedding, or those cheap wedding that you get at Las Vegas that is somehow suspiciously run by an illegal immigrant, mostly by a south American, Illegal Mexican or possibly Muslim, but believes in the American way.

Then again, those are some rare Muslim types to find, but still.

So, while the random guy and the blond chick was together, remember that blond bitch? Well, she came randomly crashing through a window, drunk, and yelled at the random guy, “I don’t know what the fuck I am doing! I just saw a wedding felt the need to ruin it! Anyways random pony guy! That guy who saved you that night in the swears, where you crawled through five hundred miles of pure shit was dead hobo body! In addition, I somehow know his location of to where he is at right now! He is at the fucking church down Main Street! I am fucking high!” then the blond bitch puked all over the floor.

Then, there was a big chunk of a dead body in her puke. When the blond bitch noticed it, she said, “Oh look. My only child that I gave birth to that I somehow ate later after that blond chick left. I wondered where she went. Apparently, I ate alive. So that is where she has been for the past three or four years of my fucking life.”

Then she was knocked out, and no one wanted to find out what happened to the child that was eaten alive by her mother.
Therefore, every pony in the room decided to pretend that none of that fucking happens, and moved on with their lives. In fact, they didn’t bother to pick up the blond bitch nor clean up the puke or the dead little girl that was eaten by her mother alive.

However, after the random guy got the news, he then said, “Well then. I must thank your father. In addition, it also seems that my doubts about him saving me that night was incredibly wrong and I should have just assumed it. Well then, my newly found wife, to the church on main street!”

Then the random guy threw his wife on to the streets, through the broken window, made by the blond bitch. He too, then jumped through the window. Soon, they somehow landed safely onto the ground.

I don’t understand that, unless somehow in the future, the ponies gets that leg brace thing from Portal.

Then it would make sense it would be fucking awesome as shit. Therefore, they went cowards Main Street and got to the church. I don’t really know if the ponies pray or not.

I mean, it’s not like these ponies have any religion at all. Then again, if you think about it. Maybe that’s why these ponies live better lives then humans. They don’t have religion.

That and they don’t have other ponies shoving their religion other pony’s throats, and there is no Muslims or Jews, or basically any complaints about which religion is right.

You see, when there is no religion, it’s all better. In addition, Morgan Freeman approves this. Great, now I’m starting to sound like Bob Dole. Then again, who wouldn’t want to sound like him?

That’s right, no one. In addition, then again, the god of this universe, that Is in, really doesn’t require any praying to her or anything really. You see, no religion equals happiness.

Anyways, dead hobo body was packing up his somehow able to fit his dead body saddle back, as he was about to leave Manehatten for good.

When the blond chick and the random guy saw this, they galloped to him as fast as possible.

When they did so, the blond chick singed, “Father! Wait, stop! Where are you going? You even haven’t come to my wedding day!”

Then dead hobo body then singed, “I know, however, it is my time to leave Manehatten. I must finish a few things, before I die at an old age.”

I don’t get it. I mean, dead hobo body is dead already. How the fuck can he die if he is already fucking…know what?

I’m not going to complain about this. Just, don’t question it. Just like how you don’t question slenderfetus. You just never ever question it. You just let it be and move on with life.

It’s not even worth trying to fight it. I mean, of all of my years of narrating Knight’s life, I have to say, he one pretty fucked up live and it’s best to not complain about it either.

Just let it be, and I somehow referenced a Beetles song there. Fucking shit, please don’t tell me that a song is going to randomly play, oh god it is.

Well then, thank god that is over, now let’s finish this bitch up so we can get back on track to the main part of the chapter and end dead hobo body’s life already, shall we?

Therefore, the random guy then singed, “But my father-in-law, I must thank you. You saved my life that very night. And if it wasn’t for you, my newly founded wife, might have been weeping over my living tombstone.”

Apparently, he gets the joke. Know what, I salute you random white guy pony. God bless you random white pony guy.

God bless you all, and to all, a happy shut the fuck up. Now, I just made a good reference, and now all of you can shut the fuck up already.

And if you ain’t happy about it, or don’t get the reference, then you can suck my balls, because I’m mother fucking Morgan Freeman.

Therefore, dead hobo body then singed, “I know what I did that day, however, I do sort of regret it. Don’t worry my son-in-law. You will be happy together. Now, if you excuse me, I must go.”

Then the random guy stopped singing and the blond chick decided to sing. She singed, “please, was it something that I did? Please don’t father. Do not die.. if it was something that I did, then let me apologize. I am sorry.”

Well then, I don’t quite understand that, because he was going to go and leave Manehatten. He even fucking said it. Then, old French musicals are weird.

Well, dead hobo body said, and not singed, “I never said I was dying. I never said I was even coming down on something. Although you are right though. You and your personality does want to make me kill myself.”

Then the blond chick continued to sing, “Papa! Papa! Papa! Are you all right? Don’t die yet. we will find help right away. Do not leave this world yet, there is still time.”

Then dead hobo body said, “What are you doing? Are fucking deaf? I said I wasn’t dying. I said I was leaving Manehatten, and that was it. I mean, no wonder you’re stupid and didn’t hear me. You are a blond chick. Besides, even if I was coming down with something, I wouldn’t tell you and I would just let the disease do its thing and kill me. Mostly to get away from you. Even though I raised you from a poor child, and here I am, complaining about you, not sure, why I did it. Maybe to get the audience’s attention.”

I dead hobo body traitor had a point. Good work man, good work. Then the random guy singed his part. He sung, “No dead hobo body. You do not understand. We owe you. I owe you. We are forever in your debt. Let us treat you back to good health, so that you may continue your life. And perhaps you could be a grandpa and get all timers. Then, we can put you in a home and steal your money. Then, we maybe even richer, and we will forget you even exist at all, and then you can die. Anyways, you are a saint if you let us do this for you.”

Wow, what great little selfish children that they are. I should go down there and backhand slap those fuckers. Trying to steal from our own kind. They are lucky I ain’t calling that a hate crime.

Then again, I did say dead hobo body was a traitor. In addition, dead hobo body then said, “Oh boy, what great chideren that I have. How about this, you can go fuck yourselves and eat a dick and cut your own hearts out and see how black it is. In fact, you random guy pony, why don’t you cut your own balls off and shove it up your asshole. So the next time you shit, you shit balls, got it? in fact, while you’re at it, after you shit your own balls out, how about you grab them cook them, then shove down your throat and choke to death on them. Then cut your own heart out and see how black it is before your eyes before you die. Fuck this place and you two. I hope you two ends getting divorce and killing each other. Screw you guys, I’m going home.”

Then dead hobo body went out the door. In addition, as he was going out the door, he yelled at the two, “By the fucking way! You two can have that money of mine and my other nice things! By the way, you have a mother-in-law, who was that broke through the fucking window at your wedding! She also called your whore of a wife, a bitch when she was a kid! Now go fuck yourselves sideways from Sunday!”

Then dead hobo body left. Then the random guy looked at the blond chick. He did it for a few seconds, and then said to her, “Your own aunt called you a bitch? You’re a bitch? I don’t think things are working out between us. I think we should get a divorce.”

Then the random guy left the church and took off the wedding ring, in which he threw away in the garbage.

Then he found another hot, rich chick and grabbed the ring in prospered to her. He got married to that hot bitch and had five billion kids in which they all committed suicide later, because they belonged in space and what not and they soon became a star.

In which, they became a super nova and Twilight Sparkle didn’t know what the fuck just happened in space, in pretended that nothing happened, while Spike raped her in the ass while she wasn’t looking. I wish to never say that ever again in my fucking life, as a Morgan Freeman.

So, as for the blond chick, she was left in church and the a priest type pony guy molested her and raped her and left her 4 dead in the actual left 4 dead game.

You know. Since it’s a four in the sentence. You don’t understand, don’t you? Well, as for dead hobo body, he left Manehatten for good, and went to go back to Stalia, to find Knight.

Well, he did, who falling hundreds of feet in the air, while under a dome. However, Fausticorn caught him for a bit, which she held on to Knight dearly.

She flew while having her eyes close, with a bit of a sad face expression. She then said a few words, but dead hobo body couldn’t make it out.

However, then Knight pushed himself from Fausticorn and continued to fall. Dead hobo body wanted to help Knight out and catch Knight, so he would not die.

However, there was a dome in front of him, so it was preventing him to go through. However, Knight had a device type thingy, to which he then put into a socket and the dome depleted.

Then, Knight was still falling, although, Fausticorn was trying to catch him, but wasn’t going to make it in time.

However, as Knight was about to hit the ground and almost die, dead hobo body landed right under him and cushioned his fall. Knight thought he was dead, but when he found he wasn’t dead, he opened up his eyes and saw what broke his fall.

He looked and saw his old body that was only meant for a short comedic joke, dead hobo body. When Knight saw this, he said, “Wow. I completely forgot about you dead hobo body.

Well then…thanks. However, all the citizens were looking, confused as to what the fuck just happened.

One of the citizens said something and… All right, it looks like this is all I have to say. For fuck’s sake, this was hard and now it’s finally finished.

Now I can go fucking bed, for a black needs his rest to do more black guy things in the morning.

Back to Episode 20...

That hiding on a phoenix thing is actually doing quite well for me. Yea, Celestia and Luna are never going to find me, because the last time I was on here Celestia and Luna did not even suspect a thing that I was gone last night.

I actually feel like I have freedom now. I mean, they thought I was in bed the entire time last night. What a pair of stupid dumb fucks.

They thought that they could use their magic and figure out if I wasn’t in my bedroom, but this time, I outsmarted them.

Then again, eventually they are going to catch on and eventually catch me, riding this majestic phoenix, under Luna’s night sky and under her beautiful moon. When that happens, I’ll be fucked.

However, let’s not concentrate on that right now. Let’s actually concentrate what the fuck is actually happening right now. Let’s see, where the fuck did I leave off from last time.

That’s right, I left off that I was at the bar with Craig McCracken and Neon, late at night, while Lauren Faust didn’t know jack shit that was happening. In fact, she was going to wake up to a dead raccoon on the floor that had been gutted out, skinned alive a bit and put in a deep freezer and possibly deep fried as well.

I’m pretty sure those hillbilly’s rednecks, the rare type of Americans, are going to break into the house, and grab that dead raccoon and eat him for dinner. Although if it were a hillbilly redneck zombie, they would rape Lauren Faust, eat the raccoon and sing horrible country music and shit.

That, and it would be a sign that hillbilly redneck zombies has taken over the world and it would have been a new era. Although if that ever happened, I would have lost a bet then with Wolf.

I mean, I’m pretty sure when Earth enters a new era, it would be when Google takes over. I mean, they already have self-driving cars; they might as well take over the world and have a new era for Earth called the Google era.

In which everyone has to drive the Google-mobile or some shit like that. Well, we were at the bar, trying to have a good time, like in The Worlds End, except no evil robots are trying to kill us and we have blue ink on our hands and shit like that.

Anyways, we were at the bar, I just said the word fuck really loudly, where everyone can hear me.

In fact, one guy was on a date on his girlfriend, and he said to me, “Dude, watch your swearing man. Can’t you see that there is a lady here who doesn’t like to hear profanity unless I’m fucking her ass really hard in her bedroom when I just shot her parents because they hate me?”

I then said to that person, “You do realize that you just said the word fuck already, so your statement is completely invalid. Second, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Then that guy’s girlfriend, who keep in mind, is a hot blonde chick with big titties for some odd reason, but then again, that’s possibly why the guy is dating her anyways.

It’s because she is a blonde chick and she has big boobs. Although, I always wondered, why do guys get boners when looking at boobs? I mean, it’s such a great question if you think about it. I mean, perhaps someone should get Vsauce on it. Then again, I am in Equestria and I can’t do shit about it.

However, I can still kidnap him and force him to do so. However, it is a good question that needs an answer to, that I’m pretty sure that he would be just fine with answering the dam question. I mean, it’s like a question like the meaning of life.

Guys like to look at them, and yet, we don’t exactly know why we like it? Is it because they look like balloons and they remind of us our awesome childhood.
Then again, some were abused, while others thought a balloon meant that the clown from ‘IT’ was going to kill them.

In fact, why the fuck was the clown from IT a giant spider in the end? Whatever, I’m getting off track here, the point is, why the fuck are boobs interesting?
Anyways, as I was saying before a great question just as if the meaning of life came into play here, the girlfriend to that guy was a hot blonde chick with big hot air balloon boobs, like in Henti anime porn.

Well, she said to her boyfriend, “What? You didn’t kill my parents. You didn’t even have sex with me yet. I mean, this is our first date together. I mean, we only just met on Craigslist thirty minutes ago.”

Then the hot blonde bitch’s phone rang, and she said, “Hold on a minute, my friend bitchy bitch just texted me back.”

Then she grabbed out her…I don’t know, the I phone 69 I guess that was released by this point in time? In fact, it might have been exactly that because Apple was just throwing new versions of the used to be great but now is shitty I phone out to people.

Fuck it man, I also think they even gave some fucking hobos who did not even pay anything to get it, nor pay a phone bill for that matter.

Although, from my perspective, all those hobos only used it for porn and looking at a virtual fireplace from the app store on the I phone. Yea, they wish they had a real fire instead of having one over a barrel that is abandoned from n nuclear waste plant that pretty much give you cancer if you go near it.

Then again, what doesn’t give you cancer nowadays? I mean, even the grass gives you cancer somehow. Fuck it, I believe at one point, some people will say, Lauren Faust gives you cancer or ponies give you cancer. That or even they might say that Adam Sandler gives you cancer.

Although, I do hope one day that will be true, for I do hate Adam Sandler for his non-funny Jewish comedy. I mean, when that day comes, we will have a reason to stay away from his movies.

That and we will once again will be freed from the beast, and actually spend our money wisely and perhaps the economy might actually get back on track if people stop watching Adam Sandler’s films.

Anyways, the blonde bitch with big hot air balloon boobs then looked at her text and she said, “Awe, that’s sad. My friend has F’s in school, but only because she doesn’t pay attention and always on her phone texting to other people like me and go on Facebook.
School’s hard. Paying attention in class is hard so hard. Why is everything so hard? Drinking water is so hard. I don’t want to go to sleep because it’s so hard. Having sex with someone is so hard. Why is life so hard? Oh look, a small midget dog. He looks so cute. Is he that Taco Bell dog? Is he made out of tacos? I want to eat him and find out.”

Yea, this is why Muslims possibly attack America, because it’s filled mostly of these kinds of people. I mean, this is why the Muslims celebrate 9/11 as if it was fucking Christmas.

In fact, I recall that moment from Neon when I had nothing to do, and he somehow showed me what the Muslims do on 9/11 In fact, it went like this.

Son of a black baby monkey Jesus. Apparently, white people can’t have a simple story without a black guy in it narrating. Then again, my voice is better than white people’s voices.

Well, it was two days earlier before the events from when there was two Neon’s and shit happened, which I am somehow surprised at that. I believe Knight Lied to you all that it was only right after the events from his trip to Manehatten, and not two days.

Anyways, Knight, the white guy pony here, was just doing but white pony shit, because he basically had nothing to do at all that day. Then, Neon, the scary mother fucker that even scares me.

I mean, I’m fucking god bitch, and that shit scars me. Dam Neon, you scary.

Anyways, Knight was just randomly walking, like how a white guy pony should, minding his white guy pony business, when all of a sudden, Neon ran up to him, and Neon said to Knight all up in his face, “Hey Knight! You want to see what Muslims do back in your universe on 9/11!?”

Then Knight said to the scary ass pony, “I’m afraid to ask and where did this conversation even started at Neon? I mean, I was minding my own business here, and you just asked me a question that has nothing to do what I’m facing right now.”

Then Neon said to Knight, “Well, before I show you what the Muslims do, let me show you what Americans do on 9/11.”

Well then, Neon is scary, because he is not listening to what knight has to say and shit. Well, anyways, Knight then said, “Neon, I’m not a fucking retard, ok? I mean, I know what happens. People cry and moan and never forget what happened on that dark day…Actually, to be honest with you, I don’t know what happens, because I really never paid any attention to it.”
Then Neon teleported him and Knight to Knight’s house and Neon opened up a portal to Earth, while Knight was confused as shit to what the fuck just happened. Well, Neon showed what Earth was like in the year 2020, and this is what he saw.
He saw a stage in New York City, and there was a crowd around it, filled with whites and blacks and purple. Well, purple…is a thing. Fuck it, I’m Morgan Freeman and I can say whatever the fuck I want in this shit.

Well, the president of the United States in the year 2020, stood up, and walked to the podium. He said, “Now, we will hear some words from a survivor.” Then the white guy looking mother fucker went up and he said, “I have cancer due to the building being destroyed!”

Then the crowd applauded him with glee and cheer. Then the white guy said, “I’m serious here, I got cancer!”

Then the crowed laughed at him, as if it was an 80’s sitcom. Then again, majority of the crowd was white people, who still believe they are living in the 80’s, while the black still believes they still living in the 90’s.

However, with Asians, they are aware that they are living in the present times, and are not dumbasses. However, it is mostly because they are good at math and they would never fail a math test…at all.

Nevertheless, if they do, then it just means the world is about to end, for an Asian get’s a driver’s license and fails a math test and all that whatnot and shit. Well, then the guy said, “What are you people doing?! This isn’t supposed to be funny at all!”

Then the crowd yelled, ‘boo!’, at the guy, and a random guy stood up and said, “That wasn’t a very funny joke! Tell a funny joke for once you douchebag!”

Then the crowd agreed with the random guy and then they all said, “Yea, tell another joke that is actually funny!”

Strangely enough, they said that all in unison. Well. Then the guy said, “Why are you people doing this to me?!”

The guy also started to cry a bit, while the crowd awed, as if they were watching an 80’s sitcom, where a character somehow learned a lesson and in the weirdest, most stupid of ways possible.

Then the guy noticed this and he said, “Stop it! Just stop it! Over three thousand people died on this day over twenty years ago!”

Then the crowd made that studio audience sound, from the 80’s, where to say the main character or wimpy character of the show, just manned up and stopped acting like a big pussy and kiss a girl. That or the girl kisses back, sort of like a surprise sound I guess.

Morgan Freeman around the 80’s didn’t do much, so for me, I would not know as much as you would have. Then the guy said, while still crying like a pussy and try to get passed his cancer bullshit, “Don’t you people have any feelings anymore!? We were all crying every year, but now, you all have changed! You should not all be like this! You should feel sorry for the victims! I mean, I know it’s been 20 years since the attack, but we still got to remember it!”

Then the crowd did that gasp sound like an 80’s live studio audience would have done back in an 80’s sitcom show. Then the guy said, “Well, at least you all care a little bit that much, for starters anyway.”

Then the crowd once more laughed at the guy. However, one guy continued to laugh even though the audience stopped laughing at him, and he laughed show hard, he puked out his intestines and one guy died because he was somehow found it easy to masturbate to what was happening.

Chances are, it’s that guy who goes around YouTube, putting up comments, ‘I find this hard to masturbate to.’, or some shit like that.

Well, at least in the year 2020 or 2021 I believe it was, we finally got rid of that guy who goes around commenting shit like that. Now, we are finally free from the dark days and shit like that.

Then the guy said to all of the fucked up and weird audience members, “You are all horrible people. You should all be ashamed of yourselves!”

Then the guy walked away from the microphone, however, as he was about to walk, away, a guy came up to him, and knocked him out. Then that guy that knocked him out proceeded to take his clothing, to which everyone from the Audience ran to the guy who was knocked out, and proceeded to take every little thing of him.

When the audience was finished, they went back to their seats and all that was ever was from now on, was nothing but bones. Literally, they took his skin and organs, including his asshole. Along with strangely his dick.

But chances are, a really fat ugly bitch who has pimples and braces and glasses on her face, along with Aids, took the dick and masturbated to it, because she could never get a guy to love her.

Not as much as to look at her. Even the boys looked at her, they would turn into stone, and therefore, she was the new Medusa.

Anyways, after Knight had seen what the fuck was going on, he then asked Neon, “Well then, I’ll admit, I’m a bit shocked and not surprised by seeing that. But, can you please tell me why you just randomly ran up to me and asked me to see what Muslims do on 9/11 again?”

Then Neon did not respond to Knight’s question, and just ignored and switch the United States, with a Middle East country, where it was the morning of 9/11.

The sun was just about to rise up, and when Knight was trying to struggle and see what was happening in the dark, as a white guy would do, Neon pushed him through the portal, along with Neon jumping through it as well. Then, they both ended up in the universe, and Knight was still in pony form.

Then, Knight asked, “What the fuck did you do that for Neon!?”

Then Neon said, “Shhhhhhh…..The show is about to begin.”

Then, the sun slowly rose up high into the sky. The Muslim in the bed, then woke up and had a bright smile on his face.

Then he started to sing a song, which is strange, because in Muslim cultural, they are not allowed to sing, but whatever, Muslims are random.

Besides, if I ask why the Muslims suddenly decide to change their ways of life very fast, chances are, I’ll get a hijacked plane heading to my house and trying to kill me.

Good thing that I’m Morgan Freeman, and I’m god, so I can go to heaven and what not or whatever you white people say nowadays. Whatever that fancy white people word is, you get the point.

That, and I get to sit back and watch a Muslims kill 72 virgins in heaven. Anyways, the song went like this.

It sun has risen once more.
It is the month of September.
Today is that very special day!
It is 9/11 once more!
Allah is smiling within my heart!
Everybody’s happy because we Muslims actually got attention.
In the beginning, no one cared about us,
When we had Suddam Hussein, we got a bit of news attention.
We loved that news attention,
But when he died, we no longer had more attention.
Now we have the attention all we want,
Even though it’s very bad, but no one gives a shit!
Everyone’s smiling with their faces,
So happy today is that anniversary,
That we made happen!

So, Knight was confused as fuck, and didn’t understand if the Muslims did 9/11 because they wanted attention, or it was intentional.

Well, the Muslim guy that was singing, then noticed Knight and Neon, and instead of blowing them up with a useless suicide bomber, he said, “Come on Technicolor talking ponies! Join us for the celebration! It’ll be fun!”

Then the Muslims guy put something Muslim like around their necks and started to sing once more. However, the song that the Muslim singed was very boring and repetitive, that not even I, Morgan Freeman, will repeat, because of its bland in boringness.

However, you need at least something to get the idea where I’m coming from, it’s like watching a very bad opera for a day.
Anyways, about three hours into the song, and yes, it ‘s that long of a song, a little Muslim boy went up to his mother that you could not see, because women in that country are not allowed to be hot or some shit like that.

Then the boy asked his mother, “Mother, but we shouldn’t be doing this. We should be sorry for what we did to the Americans.”

Then the mother said, “My son, if you keep talking like that, the evil big bad Uncle Sam is going to get you in your sleep.”

Then the boy said to his mother once more, “Oh mother, don’t you know that is just a silly little old fairy tale that you tell Muslims children so they can be afraid of America.”

Then the mother said to the little Muslim boy, “Yes, and I recall that you were very afraid that the evil big bad Uncle Sam was going to come out from under your bed and give you a bible and freedom and rights.”

Then a guard or whatever those types of Muslims call them who go on portal and make sure no women show a single inch of their skin or a women isn’t alone and Muslims shit.

Yes, you call shit in the Middle East… Muslim shit. Anyways, the guard came out of nowhere with a whip and he started to beat the Muslim woman to a bloody pulp. Then the guard said, “NO TALKING YOU FUCKING WHORE!!! NOR DO YOU NOT SING! Where is your man anyway you child molester that is talking to her son?”

Then the mother asked, “Why? Is It because I over did the Resin Brand crunch cereal this morning? Was it because I put too much in it?”

Then the guard broke her neck and he said, “No! It was because you didn’t do me last night as I ordered you too!”

Then he spat on her, and then looked at the little Muslim boy. Then the guard said, “Hey kid, do you want a sword to beat women to a bloody pulp with and rape them?”

Then the little Muslim boy said, “I sure do!”

Then the guard killed him and he yelled at the dead body, “Well you’re not you little Muslim shit! Only Muslim guards get to do that!”

Then he walked away. Then the song continued for about seven more fucking hours, and at night, it was the finale. Then all the Muslims gathered around a World Trade center tower that was on fire and was singing a fucked up version of, ‘o Christmas tree’.

Then, they ended the night and went to Muslim sleep and dreamed of Muslim dreams, while Knight was still trying to wonder what the fuck happen and Neon had a creepy smile on his face with the world’s smallest pupils ever.

Then, they went back, and Knight had nightmares.

BACK TO KNIGHT…

Well then, that Morgan Freeman part was useless. That and I thought me and Morgan freeman was cool.

I mean, sure I lied to you all, but I was eventually going to tell you about it, like I said before I was going to tell you all the lies that I have said as we go. Anyways, yes, I am aware about Morgan Freeman’s presence, like the last time it happened.
Anyways, with the hot blond chick and all and the hot air balloon tits, she then ate the dog and said, “Ewwwe….this doesn’t taste like tacos. Tasting is so hard. Eating so hard. I’m going to take a picture of me eating this taco bell dog and Instagram it.”

Then she took a picture of her eating the dog alive, and put it on Instragram, and put, ‘#eating dog.’ Strangely enough, I’m surprised no lawsuit or protest by Peta has started up yet.

BACK TO MORGAN FREEMAN

Son of a fuck. I am once again, not too long ago, am back. Well then, at least this one is a short one. Well, if you recall the events of the Peta war, where Peta and that other group fought a war in some room, because Peta was threatening to destroy all computers because of Knight.

Well, it had been three years since that war started, and it might as well be called World War three, because it seemed like it. Well, almost everyone died, except for the group’s leaders, who were strangely enough still alive.

The leader from the other group said, “Look what you have done! You have cost many lives, just because you wanted to destroy every computer that had Knight’s stories!”

Then the Peta leader guy said, “We had to do it! We had to do it for the animals dam it! Can you not see Knight’s evil ways of harming animals!? This was all worth it!”

Then the other leader guy responded with, “We were brothers! We were once friends! Now, you have changed my friend! You have changed! I have no other choice but to throw you in lava and watch you burn!”

Then, somehow, lava appeared, and the Peta guy got burned, while the other leader guy went away. Then, a very old guy, who just happened to be the guy from the BEN Creppypasta, walked up to him, took him home along with his minions, and repaired him.

Then, at the end of the night, the Peta leader guy, was a copy of Darth Vader. When the Peta guy awakened, he asked, “Where is my precious animals at? Are they safe from Knight’s horrific harm?”

Then the old guy said, “No. No, they are not safe. In fact…WE ATE THEM!”

Then the Peta leader guy who was now in a Darth Vader costume, said “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Really loudly, which woke up the neighbors , to which the guys shot them all, and did other shit. Then, the old guy said to him, after killing the neighbors, “You shall rise my pupil. Soon, you will have revenge.”

Then the Peta leader guy then said, “Yes, I will have my revenge on that other leader guy who was strangely enough was my best friend in the whole world.”

Then John Williams came the fuck out of nowhere and played a dramatic score. Then the old guy said, “That was horrible. I know you can do better than that John Williams.”

So John did, and the score was a lot better.

BACK TO KNIGHT…

I somehow have to figure out a way to have Morgan Freeman stop cutting in when a moment like that is needed. I mean, I am tired of bullshit like that and having black outs and shit happen to me.

Anyways, I then said to the hot chick, with hot air balloon tits, “You do realize that your boyfriend over there said something about rape you, right?”

Then she said, “My boyfriend is going to rape me!?”

Then the boyfriend knocked her out, and took her behind a dumpster in a dark alley and started to bang the fuck out of her. I then decided to get out of the car, because, really…what purpose there was for me to continue sitting in that spot, because more shit was going to happen anyways and it will be a distraction from my life’s story.

Anyways, I got out, and as I was about to meet Craig and Neon in the bar, a few black guys from the hood them came out of nowhere, and one of them asked me and a very deep black guy like voice, “Yo dude, you got any grape soda?”

I then responded back with, “uhhhhh….. no?”

Then the guy eyed me and he asked another question, “Then do you got any grape kool-aid then?”

I then said to them, “Why the fuck would I be carrying grape kool-aid around with me?”

Then the black guys behind him went, “aweeeeee….he doesn’t have it. I thought you said this white guy would have the stuff?”

Then the black guy who talked me then said, “I know guys, and I’m awful sorry for it too. I didn’t mean to get your guy’s hopes up. We just have to keep trying until we find a white guy who has grape soda or grape kool-aid. Maybe we should try that rich white old man down the street over there, who seems to have a cell phone and that is ready to call the hood police because it looks like we’re going to mug him and pointing at him.”

Wow, I thought I would not see that happen. Then again, none of us think that will happen.

Anyways, I then went into the bar and Craig and Neon was already at the bar, having their drinks. I then sat next to Craig and he asked, “There you are Knight! Where have you been!?”

I then told them, “A hot blond chick with hot air balloon tits ate a dog alive and posted on Intragram, and a black guy gang asked me if I had any purple soda or kool-aid, how’s your day been going for you that isn’t fucked up?”

Then Craig said to me, “Ah, it’s been going fine as usual. Come, come, have a seat my friend. Hey Bartender guy! A round for my buddy Knight here!”

Then the bar tender guy said, “You got it!”

Then I was handed my beer, and it just really wasn’t the same. I mean, I prefer either tequila or Iris beer. Not the American type of beer, because it’s just so bland and shit.

Well, anyways, we started to have a conversation about Lauren Faust and shit, and it is also pointless to put it up here, so, whatever.

However, we chatted for a while, and Neon then said, “I’m going to see what I get on that love tester machine right there next to that guy that looks like is depressed as shit that will commit suicide any minute now and that looks like a rapist.”

Then Neon got down and went towards it. Then Craig and I started to talk and start up another conversation. However, while we were having our conversation, behind us, Neon was fucking around with the machine and he got that level as…whatever is on lover tester machines nowadays.

Well, he somehow made it explode and he somehow killed three people in the bar that night. Yea, I don’t know what’s up with that green pony either. Well, anyways, Craig asked me a question, “So, Knight. How you’re enjoying your night so far with your friends?”

I then said to Craig, “What do you mean friends? I just met you a little over an hour ago.”

Then Craig said, “Come on Knight, We are friends. Even if we haven’t met each other since tonight; besides, me, you, and Neon, are the three best friends that anyone could have.”

Yea, he was stealing that from the Hangover, but in a sense, it was kind of a good feeling to know that he thought the three of us as the best three friends that anyone could have.

In addition, when Craig said that, Neon slowly rose from under the bar, very creepily, and he started to sing.

We are the three best friends that anyone could,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have.
And we will never ever ever ever leave each other.

Then everyone at the bar started to start to make a rhythm and started to sing along with us at the bar late at night. Then Neon continued to sing…

We are the three best friends that anyone can have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have.
We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have!
And we will never ever ever ever leave each other no matter.

Then for some add reason, a dirty old hobo barged in and started singing. He pretty much singed…
I’m the hobo from right across the street,

I heard this singing, while I was trying to get some sleep.
I agree that you are the three best friends anyone could have.
As I look deep into your eyes, I could defiantly tell,
That you would never ever ever leave each other for no non-sense at all.
Now if you gentleman excuse me,
I shall go ahead and rape this rat I posse in my right hand.

Then Neon continued to sing his part, once again.

We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have.
And we will never ever ever leave each other no matter what.
We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have!

Then a person who was in the bathroom, then opened the door very quickly and started to sing his part as well. His part was…

This song is beautiful,
Just like riding the waves, of, the ocean!
Of course I don’t know,
What the hell I’m singing anymore!
However, I know for a fact,
That you three gentleman are the three best friends that anyone could have,
That would never ever ever leave each other would remain loyal to each other forever.
Now if you gentleman will excuse me,
I’ve got to make a tweet that I’m taking a piss and a shit at the same time,
While using the same hand that I use to wipe my ass with.

Then Neon continued to sing his part once more. However, this time for a finale, a marching band came out of fucking nowhere and started to play.

I believe this marching band came from a raping alleyway. What, you never heard of a raping alleyway?

I don’t blame you, it only exists in Equestria…for some odd, weird, twisted reason..for that matter. Anyways, Neon then singed for the finale part…

We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone could have!
And we will never ever ever ever leave each other no matter what.
We are the three best friends that anyone could have,
We are the three best friends that anyone have!
And we will never ever ever leave each other no matter what happens!

So…yea, good song I will admit. I mean, it didn’t certainly make much sense, but the budget was defiantly there.
Apparently, the budget for that was still more then what Ponyville had. Then again, Equestria uses bits, while Americans uses Americans shit, because Americans and we have shit.

Well, there is a way to convert the value from their money to your money’s worth, but it’s complicated. So just go on with my word on it…even though I’ve lied to you many of times before.

Anyways, all I’m going to say is this for the song. The song was great, but I don’t know what is going on with that hobo raping a rat.

For some reason now, I believe that rat man myth in Grand Theft Auto IV, I believe that is where the rumor came from is that they saw a hobo raping a rat, and they though rat man somehow existed.

Then again, what the fuck do I know, I’m thousands of years old, and haven’t played a GTA game within years.
Anyways, yea, I should also mention that I somehow heard him and raping the rat. I mean, the rat was just begging for help, but sadly, the rat was fucked. It is as if an elephant got his dick stuck in a kitten’s asshole.

Anyways, as for that guy in the bathroom, tweeting shit, well then, perhaps that’s why my life sucked and why I needed to find a way out of my other boring useless life.

I just needed a tweeter account, because apparently, everyone had it and somehow the ones that used it, especially while taking a piss, they seemed pretty important and quite gentleman like people.

Of course, that explains how Lauren Faust got shit done and got successful and was chosen by Hasbro to do My Little Pony. She had a fucking Tweeter account.

Then again, back when I was on Earth, I found that having a Tweeter was useless and pointless. Mostly because I didn’t feel the need that anyone who was reading my tweets, needed to know when I was having sex, and doing the ‘69’ position, along with having every single detail to what used to be my boring life.

No one needs to know what the shit that I’ve done. Besides, it involved killing the Prime Minster of Canada and taking it over, along with…well, let’s just say a ‘problem’ with the Jews. I prefer not to go into details about it. Let us just leave it at…many tombstones needed to be made.

Anyways, that happened, and I would like to know where that marching band came from anyways. I mean, it reminds me of that movie, The Wolf of Wall Street, where a marching band somehow comes into the offices. Then again, that does not sound such a bad idea.

In fact, that would be the greatest idea of all time. Maybe I am over thinking it there, but whatever, it’s my opinion, and my opinion matters and every other opinion can go fuck itself right in the asshole of…whatever words have.

Anyways, right when everyone was done singing, Craig said to me, “So, are we the three best friends that anyone could have?”

I’ll admit, I had a bit of a smile on my face and I’ll admit, we were three best friends that anyone could have. I mean, we went to bars late at night, we did shit, we pretty much did that basic friend shit that every friend does.

Of course, we did not watch the show ‘Friends’ because that would be very…bad of a thing to do. Well, my opinion states that the 90’s sucked and Friend’s was kind of not the best thing around for me. Let us just say I have nightmares about the 90’s, and even though I still live in Equestria, I still have those nightmares. Dam you furbies! Dam you all to hell! Sorry, just trying to repress a horrible memory from my past, from the 90’s. Let us move on now, for there is still much more to cover.

Well, as I said before, I was happy and had a smile on my face. I then said to Craig, “Yea…yea we are the three best friends that anyone could have.”

Then Craig said to me, “That’s the sprit! Although, I have to admit, that I haven’t heard that song in years. What movie did that song come off from?”

Then I answered Craig’s question with, “That song came from The Hangover. I mean…haven’t you seen that movie?”

Then Craig responded to me with, “Well, yea, I did…but…when did that movie come out?”

I then said to Craig, “The Hangover came out back in 2009…why? I mean, how many years has it been since 2009?”

Then Craig, said, “Wait,…that song has been out since 2009? Wow, it was as if 2009 was just yesterday. I’m getting old man.”

Then a thought popped up in my head, mostly because I rather felt what Craig said was bullshit. I mean, he did not look old. Then again, at the time, it was some year in the future.

I mean, I knew I was in the future, but I was never told what exact year I was back on Earth. Well, I then asked Craig, “Well, what year were you born Craig?”

Then Craig said to me, “I was born on March 31st, 1971.”

I then took the phone that Neon had, or in other words, stole from a guy that he killed while me and Craig was complaining.
I then went to the website on the phone…which…might I add, surprisingly in the future, the phone wireless network kind of get’s shitty.

You would think it would be a bit better then it was like seven years ago, but apparently, it goes in the opposite direction.
Anyways, I went to the website When was I Conceived.

Yea, it was a bit weird, but highly accurate surprisingly.

It turns out that it wasn’t some douchebag who was lying to you, working behind a rundown Asian owned apartment complex, where there are giant cockroaches, that are holding knives, and threatening to kill you if you step in their turfs.

Then again…I kind of blame the schools for that happening, but, whatever, the schools are lazy. They just let any kid do whatever the fuck he wants to nowadays.

However, that is not important. There will be a chance where I’ll tell you my fucked up stories about how I killed certain kids and teachers and shit…it was all a big ol’ mess.

Anyways, I looked it up on the phone and I said to Craig, “Well, apparently to this website that I am on…it says that you were conceived between July 4th through July 12th of the year 1970.”

Then Craig asked, “What the hell when I was conceived has to do with anything?”

I then said to him, “Well…according to the website, the popular movie and song that your parents might have fucked before watching or while listening to says it right on here. The movie that week that your parents possibly fucked while watching the movie at a dirty porno theatre was ‘Airport’. The song that your parent’s possibly did the 69 position while your mom gave your father a blow job was Mama told me not to come by three dogs night. Well, you are kind of old, but in all truth, you’re really not at this point. Um…how old are you right now?”

Then Craig said, “I’m currently 49 years old of age.”

I then asked Craig another question, which was, “And how old is your wife at the moment?”

Then Craig responded with, “Well, I don’t usually keep track how old she is, nor do I keep track of our anniversaries. I mean, I usually just get her a last minute gift that I get from a child molester from down the street. However, I do recall one of her non-existent friends, well, at least to me it’s non-existent, mostly because I don’t care about her friends and I’m just pretending they don’t exist, she’s 46.”

I then said to Craig, “Well then, she looks good for her age then.”

Then Craig asked me, “When was my wife conceived anyways…just out of curiosity?”

Yea, …just out of curiosity. I’ll believe Craig when the cat of Uranus goes up your mamas asshole that farts itself way up to the moon.

I have no idea what I just said there, but I believe you got the point that I was trying to get across. Anyways, I looked up on a dead guy’s phone, and I do have to admit, I feel like I have a curse on me for doing such a thing, because it’s a dead guy’s phone. It is like stealing a dead guy’s shoe, which surprisingly I know of some people who have done that before.

Anyways, that being said and all, and for once I didn’t say shit, while I’m on a fucking phoenix! Whatever, we are getting a bit off track here, that, I looked up Lauren Faust’s week that chances were that she was conceived.

I looked it up and told my buddy ol’ pal Craig, and apparently this is the 50’s, “Well then Craig…your wife was conceived between the dates of October 28th through November 5th of 1973 Apparently.”

Then Craig said, “Well…what movie and song came out that week when she was conceived?”

I then saw the information and told to Craig, “The popular movie that her parent’s might have or might have not masturbated to before they raped each other was The Way We are. And the song that was most heard that week that Lauren’s parents might have listened to while doing anal was Midnight Train to Georgia by Glady’s Knight and the pips. Son of a bitch, they stole my idea.”

Then Craig said, “Really, is that what Lauren’s Parents listened to while they fucked the night away underneath the stars?”

I then said, “Apparently so. Apparently Lauren’s parents did hump each other’s brain’s out while giving hand jobs and blow jobs, while Lauren’s father ate her mother’s pussy that she might have had an orgasm and came all over the place.”

Then Craig said, “Well then, I’m surprised that my in-laws did the clever steamer and fingering each other at the same time.”

Then I said, “Yup, its so surprising that they did the seated scissors and Baring the scepter. While also doing it on the Counter Top and the Butterfly position.”

Then Craig said, “Yea, I know what you mean. My parents did the Modified Coital Alignment Technique, The Shake n’ Bake, and The Happy Scissors. However, Lauren’s parents did The Doggie Style, The lap Dance, and right minded, although with the right minded one, all it did was help my mom have an orgasm. I mean, Lauren’s parent’s did a sexual game called kinky cards, one step forward, one step back, sex toys hide and seek, and 20 naughty questions, while my parents did the Women on top position. My dad was such a pussy when he did my mom.”

I then said to Craig, “Yea, I know that feel bro. My cat did the same thing to another cat. Also, Twilight has been asking me to play a sex game where she blind folds me and she uses a few sex toys on me and I would have to guess which one she’s using. However, she never said this directly to me, but I read her diary, and it said that she would like to do that to me.

Either Twilight has physical needs that aren’t being met and she’s just using me as a way to get her physical needs, or she really has the hots for me.”

Yea, I read Twilight’s diary before, and there is a lot of thing she wants to do to me. Scary things that she wants to do to me…I’m scared…please help.

Then Again, that was years ago and she no longer loves me. However, it’s not because she hates me for doing something to her, but let’s just say ‘I did something’.

Well, we stood silent for a bit, while thinking of the sex shit we just talked about, when Craig’s wife called him on his cell phone, which I’m wondering why the fuck he didn’t pull that out in the first place while we were in the van complaining and Neon didn’t have to skill someone.

Well, Craig’s wife called and she said over the phone, “Honey, where are you?”

Then Craig had an expression on his face that says, ‘help me or I’m fucked shock expression.’ He said to his wife, “Oh why do you ask such a question my dearest and beautiful wife of mine? Why, I wouldn’t be at a bar at this late, now would I?”

Then his wife said, “Well, I woke up because I thought I heard someone break into the house, and I don’t see your car in the drive way, so I was a bit worried. Where are you Craig?”

Then Craig said, “Well, I was called to go into work early honey of mine….I am just waiting for the Disney guy to tell me something that is possibly good news about something. I’m just waiting in my office, with the TV on.”

Then his wife said, “Well, I don’t hear the TV then?”

Then Craig said to her, “Well, then you are a deaf bitch then, because the TV is loud as fuck in my office. Can’t you hear?”

Then he signaled in the bar as into help him out and make fake TV noise. Also, I cannot believe that Lauren bought that Craig has a TV in his office.

Anyways, soon everyone made fake noise. One guy made a noise that you would see on Cops, and two black guys did the theme song to it as well. The guy said, “Today on Cops. We have a white guy…and a black guy…what’s going to go down? Watch now…on today’s episode.”

Then another guy that sounds like an Australian said, “Oh, look at that baby of an animal. It so cute, you want to rape its tiny cute little asshole. Yea, I want to go up to it right now and rape it.”

Then a couple started to have moans, as if they were doing it and having hardcore sex. Of course, they were reenacting a porno, in fact, they were so good at it, it was as if they were giving each other’s hand jobs underneath the table, as if the wife was giving the hand job and the husband was fingering her.

Then again, I did see cum on the floor…well then my god they did it. Well, then a soccer game sound was made, because why the fuck would there be a football game in the middle of the night?

Actually, that sounds interesting if there ever was a football game at night. I need to find an alternate universe that happens later on.

That’s if I don’t get caught by Celestia or Luna that is…anyways, then there was a French guy that said, “Oh my love, you are just as beautiful as Paris.”

Then he kissed his own cock, and no, I am not bullshiting you. He really did a…I don’t know…I think a ninety degree or a bit more then that or less of a degree. How the fuck should, I know!

I ain’t no dam Asian. I mean, it isn’t like there’s Asians around in Equestria or anything. Sure, there’s the country of Japony, but I’m not going to fly all the way there, just so I can get a mathematical degree question answered.

Besides, that’s what a Twilight is for. Either you rape it, or you use it as a calculator. Also, that ‘it’ I put, isn’t a typo.

Anyways…aside from other bullshit, Lauren got the idea that Craig was at his office, watching TV. Lauren said to Craig, “Well, have a good day at work then honey. I’ll see you later when you get home.”

Then Craig said to his wife, “Yup and I’ll see you later in hell you bitch.”

Then Craig hanged up and put his phone in his pocket. I am just so shocked that Craig and Lauren can keep up a relationship, especially since they have been married for over eighteen years at this point in time.

I mean, I don’t know…but at the same time, it seems it’s going to be alright. Well, we then sat there with silence, while I was just still sitting there with complete shock in my eyes to what my ears just heard, Craig’s watch went off.

By the way, may I add, whom the fuck still buys watches anymore? I mean, you have your cell phones and your fancy red neck tablets; there is no purpose of having a watch anymore.

Then again, old people still need to use it, so they do not accept the fact that they have all timers and they pretend that it is still the 60’s. I mean, I know that they would like to pretend, but our war with the Asians are over, so they should just adapt to more advanced technology, that is better than a fucking watch.

Well, Craig looked at his watch, even though he’s not really old, and he said, “Speaking of being at work, it looks like I have to go now.”

For once, Craig talked like a normal human being that day, and it is a day, which will live in infamy, and a day that I will never forget. Anyways, I then said to Craig, “Really, you need to go to work at three in the fucking morning?!”

Then Craig said to me, “Well, my boss knows I bring in the most money into the company, so he kind of wants to go over a few things with me and shit.”

I then asked Craig, “Who the fuck tells you to go to work three in the morning?”

Then Craig said, “Oh…you’ll see who it is as soon as we go to my office. Hey Neon, I got to go to work!”

Then Neon came up to us covered in blood and guts and he said to us, “No problem guys, I killed everyone at the bar except for our only witness…The Bar tender. Duh duh duh.”

I then said to Neon, “We didn’t say for you to kill everyone at the bar.”

Then Neon said, “Exactly…” Then I said, “Ok then Craig, let’s go to your job quick before I try to start thinking of what Neon said and my brain explodes.”

Then Neon said to me, “Knight, don’t you know when you try to think of the number forty-two, then your head would explode.”

Then I said, “Neon, that’s ridiculous.”

Then Neon said, “Come on Knight, how do you think Walt Disney died?”

I Then figured out what he meant a few years later, because at first, I was confused, as a normal intelligence creature would be. Well, what Neon meant by that is, somehow, Neon made a living calculator, made it go back in time, and assassinated Walt Disney.

How did the non-living thing to such a thing? Well, it required to put the number forty-two on the screen, Walt looked at it, he thought of the number, and his head exploded.

Soon, the calculator was rewarded with a medal of honor and was declared president of the United States…in another universe of course.

Well, soon we were on the road, going to Craig’s place of work. Soon, we arrived at the Disney cooperation and I’ll admit, it was a decent office for the year 2020.

Soon, we entered the building and we went straight to Crag’s office. No one else but a guy with a pair of glasses, who was fat and had a mustache that made you look like a pedophile was there as well.

He was somewhat weird and reminded me of that one guy from Office Space, where he burned everything down.

However, that reminds me of Neon. Although, lately at the time, I thought Neon was a bit off, because he wasn’t burning things as much as he was used to. Yea, I kind of wanted the old Neon, where he was always a weirdo and a fucking creepy ass pony who always killed others at pure random and set things on fire to come back to me.

I will admit, I’ve created a soft spot in my heart for that kind of Neon. Anyways, I walked into Craig’s office, and he had a nice workspace…along with his TV.

I cannot believe Craig has a TV in his office. Then again, I guess we are all lazy when it comes to our work and we just end up watching good ol’ American TV.

That, and somehow Craig got free cable, however, I believe Neon helped him out by threatening the Cable Guy, along with Jim Carry. Now, only this once I will congrats Neon on doing the world a favor, he took care of Jim Carry. Neon is a national hero for doing such a thing.

Anyways, we kind of waited till Craig’s boss came in, and soon his boss did. Well, guess who the fuck it was, Mickey fucking Mouse! Well, the midget mouse soon walked in, while talking in his high-pitched voice, “Craig McCracken! Get your ass over here! I got great news you son of a bitch! We just bought DC Comics. Now we can make even more money you fucking douche! Come in here for a hug!”

Soon, Craig and Mickey hugged, while Neon said to me, “awe…that’s nice. Hey, knight, you want a hug?”

Then I said, “I don’t think I want a hug of death right now.”

Then Neon said to me, “Come on Knight, it’s a nice, heartwarming feeling, murdering, blood gushing, staby feeling. And I need a hug because I’m the one who helped Craig and Disney buy DC Comics.”

I then said to Neon with a straight face, “First off, nothing is heartwarming with you ever, and second, I knew that was coming.”

Then Neon said to me, “Oh, you can just read me like a book can’t you Knight.”

I was then about to make a joke to Neon, but I didn’t feel like pissing Neon off with it and end up being killed by him. Trust me, being killed by Neon is a horrible way to die, because he makes sure your death is slow and painful.

Anyways, soon Craig went to his boss’s office, talked business, and for Craig’s shows on the network and soon Neon and I went back to Equestria, where we kind of belonged at.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 21: Shadow and the Cutie Mark

Well, it was still in the middle of the night by the time we got back to Equestria, so I got Neon out of the house and I enjoyed my rest of the night…till Wolf showed up of course.

Ok, I still enjoyed my night with him, but still. Well, what Wolf and I did was shit. Well, not shit shit, but shit, as in regular daily shit. Sort of like your daily dose of shit that you would usually get every day.

Anyways, what we did was we went off the grid again, or just went outside of the universe that is. It’s where we usually go every time we want to hang out and we don’t want to be in Equestria to do it.

Well, there was no lights on, even though the non-existent ceiling does give off a light, I used my techniques that I’ve skilled over my many years of life and dimmed it down a lot, but just enough where you can just about see.

We had a flat screen TV, with a PS5 hooked up and cable along with a Blu-Ray player with a bunch of movie while being connected to the internet from Earth.

Yea, it’s hard to explain, but with my skills I was able to get it to connected online so we could do shit. Well, we were on the PS5, but I wasn’t playing anything, mostly because I was a bit half drunk from the bar I just had gotten back from.

So, I was just watching Wolf play, and how you may ask how he plays even though he has no fingers. I don’t know either, but he somehow does play with the controller.

Maybe it’s because of his claws, but his claws are a bit too short to reach and they can’t really spread out now…can they?
Well, whatever, it is just an unsolved mystery of the universe. Well, Wolf was on a Call of Duty Game, which was called Call of Duty: Black Ops 4. Wolf was playing an online match, team death match of course, and as usual, Wolf was doing alright.
He was doing what the average gamer would do on a match, as in get some kills, get killed sometimes. Rinse and repeat like that and shit.

Well, while he was doing that, I was looking through the games that Earth had just released, but strangely, not noticing what year it was made in at the time. Well, I looked through the games, and I asked Wolf, “Wolf, why don’t you play these other games? I mean, you’ve been playing Black Ops 4 for a while now.”

Then Wolf said to me, “Come on dude, this is still fine. I mean sure, it’s nothing new then Call of Duty 15 was, but it’s good.

For one thing, you get to use new and original weapons, such as the cat and dog launcher, where you get to use cats and dogs as ammo instead of real bullets.”

I saw what wolf was saying and the weapon was useless, but people still got the game because of it, but all he was doing was killing cats and gods. Fuck it man, he even went up to one of them in the game and skinned one alive, but only because it was the only new thing for the game series in general. I mean, even I would have got the game because of that feature.

Well, I then said to Wolf, “Well, what about playing Assassin’s Creed VII.”

Then Wolf said to me, “Come on man that game series isn’t good anymore. I mean in Assassin’s Creed VII, all you do is play during the Civil war years, doing pointless missions for Abraham Lincoln and eventually killing and faking his death at Ford’s Theatre.”

I then said, “ Well, I’ll agree, it wasn’t the best of all games. Although I can’t believe the game got a perfect score on all the gaming magazines and websites. Well, what about Far Cry 6?”

Then Wolf said, “Ubisoft isn’t even trying anymore with that game.”

Then I said to Wolf once again, “What about Grand Theft Auto VIII?”

Then Wolf said, “All it is a storyline where you go and murder strippers. There’s nothing new to the game series.”

I then said, “Well… what about Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Night Stalker.”

Then Wolf said, “Isn’t that the game where you literally rape women and kill people with no plot to it all?”

Then I said, “Perhaps. Well, there is also The Last of Us 3. That’s supposed to be a good game. There’s also Watch Dogs 2 and Resident Evil 9.”

Then wolf asked me, “How is Capcom still a company if they don’t have any money?”

Then I said, “Well, they did rob a few banks and got away with it and said it was in self-defense.”

Then Wolf said, “That makes a lot of sense actually. You can never tell when those swiftly accountants are going to harass you and rape your soda cans.”

Sadly, it was true; you never know when that’s going to happen. Then I made another suggestion of, “Well, what about Dark Souls 3?”

Then wolf said, but a bit of excitement this time around, “Oh man, I’ve been wanting to play that for years now. I hear it’s the hardest game ever made. I heard one story, where there was an awesome mass suicide because of it.”

I then asked Wolf, “Wolf, how the fuck is that even awe…you got high while I was gone, didn’t you?”

Then Wolf said, “Eyup. I’ve been more relaxed then Kurt Kuban, or who ever that 90’s pop music guy was who committed suicide in a house and shit.”

I then asked Wolf, “Well, ok then, what do you suggest playing other then Black Ops 4?”

Then Wolf said, “What about the popular new IP series, Debt and cocka banana trees?”

I then asked, “What the fuck are those games?”

Then Wolf said , “Well, Debt is all about you getting payback that others owes you in debts, and you owe other in debts, so you have to be stealthy and shit do other shit. As for Cocka Banana Tree, you’re a walking, living, breathing, giant banana that goes around doing shit that I’m not sure if it exists or not.”

Then I said, “That sounds like a horrible game.”

Then Wolf said, “Yea, tell that to those who love it, which is apparently only a thirteen year old kid that does shit on Wikipedia.”

Then TK and Factory Dash was walking by us and I said to TK, “Hey man, what’s up?”

Then he said to me in his emotionless voice of his, “Knight, I might have found where TF is hiding, but unfortunately, I don’t have all the information. When you went back to get the signal back in Manehatten, I found out that there were other signals that was helped to broadcast the TV signal. Apparently, TF used several devices to help transmit it, and I was able to hack into one. However, he has many of these devices that I can’t find them all, and they are scarred across multiple universes that we already have been to. It even looks like he put one on Earth somehow. Even the place that you don’t even want to talk about.”

I then said to TK, “Listen, I might be able to track down the devices whenever I can, but for one thing, there is no chance in hell that I’m going back to that universe. Not what happened and what I went through…emotionally wise anyways. Besides, I left the place with tears and I promised myself I wouldn’t go back.”

Then TK said to me, “But you knew that you were going to go back to it anyways…”

I then finished TK’s sentence with, “When the time is right… and right now… it is not.”

Then TK said to me, “I’ll talk to you later about what else I’ve found out through hacking through the device about TF, but for right now, me and Factory Dash have to check out the abandoned universe to see if TF is there or not. If he is and he has no defenses, then we’ll be taking him down there.”

Then TK and Factory Dash left us alone. However, I then put my concentration back into Wolf’s game match, Wolf had a headset on, and Wolf died. Then a nine-year-old little shit then said to Wolf over the mic, “Ha Ha, you’re a fag and a loser. I killed you, you should go kill yourself right now you fucking noob. I’m better then you and you’re gay for getting killed, even though everyone dies in the match anyways, you little bitch.”

Then Wolf said with rage, “That song of a mother fucking ass cocking monkey shit son of a Bitch!!! I’m going to kick that little shit’s asshole!”

I then thought for a moment, and I said, “Wait a fucking second here… that’s the kids who ruined the fucking Wikipedia pages and trolled me! Wolf, get me into the match now!”

Then Wolf put a plug in for me and even though I was still in my pony form, I could still use my magic to push the buttons. I also put on a headset and the match started. Soon…. Wolf and I were getting our asses kicked… well sort of.

Anyways, the match soon ended and the kid said once again we’re fags and we should kill ourselves. I then said over the mic, “Hey, you know what you little shit, you better start using those words proper before I go to your home and kick your ass for what you said to me and changing those Wikipedia pages you fucker!”

Then somehow his mother heard what I said and she said, “What!? You did what!? Boy, I’m going to slap your ass so hard, you’ll be bleeding your ass out! I’ll get your father now boy! Father!? Go get your gun! You son here thinks it’s funny to change web pages on Wikipedia!”

Then the father said, “What!? Boy, I thought I taught you better then that when I was drunk. Come here you little shit!”

Then I heard three gun shots and a police came in, asking what the fuck was going on and shit happened. It was as if the world ended over at that place. Let’s just say an affair was happening, a peach was a bomb and purple people became an asshole eaters.

As I said, shit happened, let us move on with life here.

Well, I then asked Wolf, “Hey, Wolf, why don’t we ever play an RPG game nowadays?”

Then Wolf said to me, “I don’t know why, possibly because it’s too Asian like for us to handle?”

I then said, “Yea, but sometimes it’s awesome to play. I mean, take Persona 4 golden for example, it was a great game and it we should play it.”

Then Wolf said, “Hey, isn’t that the game with a weird and catchy intro to it?”

I then said, “Yea.”

Then Wolf asked, “What if you, your friends, and I were part of that intro and to say our life was like an RPG game. How would the intro be like?”

We then stared each other for a moment and I opened up a portal where this idea of a universe exists, and my god, I wanted to kill myself for what I had seen. I even had my jaw drop, along with Wolf’s to the ground. Fuck it man, I even punched Wolf for no reason in the head.

Anyways, we soon continued to Play Black Op 4 that night, and we also played a zombie map where you’re in a grave yard, and Zombie Michel Jackson starts to dance along with the zombies of course to Thriller.

It was the best map there ever was. Then, we went back home and the sun was about to rise. I then went to my front door and grabbed the newspaper, and for once, it wasn’t about me on the front cover and shit like that, although I was still the talked about news inside the paper though, but not front page at least.

Well, somewhere on the other side of town, there was Shadow, Mac farmer’s little brother. He was getting ready for school and shit, and of course, this chapter is about him, but I had to explain those parts to you I guess.

Well, Shadow was getting ready for school, and he was about to leave his house, when he asked Mac, “Big brother, do I have to go to school?”

Then Mac said to him, “Boy, I would let you stay home so I can continue to chug empty beer bottles at you, but Equestrian law states a bullshit law that all children have to go to school or I will be in a dungeon or something. So go on to your fancy school and shit, while I try to get pa up from his comma, at least I think he is in a comma. I hope he is, and then I can steal his shit from him, and buck the apples and shit.”

Then Shadow said, “But, don’t you usually go to the bar and get drunk with your friends instead of bucking apples all week?”

Then Mac said to his little brother, “Mac, smart talk like that is going to get your ass kicked around here in these parts, so shut the fuck up while I go get drunk and send more death threats to Applejack’s little sister, Applebloom. I would have you do it, but you’re a pussy.”

Then Mac spat on him and walked away to do his shit. Well, Shadow just stood there, didn’t know what to think of his own brother just spitting on him. Well, Shadow went to school…with no friends whatsoever, on his usual route.

He eventually got to school or schoolhouse I should say. Strange, it seems like the ponies are living in the 1800’s, but with all this technology they have, it seems like it is a normal time period.

Anyways, asides from that, he went into the building and took his seat. He was also just happened to be sitting next to a bully and a retard for a minion.

The bully’s name was Artier Heartless. Oh, you can see where this is going, can’t you? Also, I don’t know what’s up with his name, but it seems foreigny to me, but that’s my opinion.

Now his retard minion, was…surprisingly Retard. Yup, a pony named Retard, my god this show gets better and better by the minute. Well, the retard just did whatever Artier told him to do and was a fucking retard, so he didn’t do much.

In fact, I don’t know if the kid had any parents. I believe he did at one point, but due to him being a retard and all, he somehow killed them. That and he is kind of creepy, because he goes cross eyes ninety-five percent of the time you’re around him.

I’m actually getting kind of scared of him right now, even more then Neon, and that’s saying a lot. Well, Shadow sat in his desk, while Artier just said to him, “Ah! Your father is a drunken sleaze and your big brother is an all time douchebag, but my father and mother is dead, thank Celestia, while my big brother doesn’t give me any crap at all. So I clearly have to tell you this, so you can be ashamed and depressed about your life because I have no point in this at all.”

I still don’t understand what the fuck he said there, but I believe that is the first time ever the word Crap has been written in this here book you’re reading.

Anyways, so the teacher eventually walked in, and I could not tell if it was a stallion, but he was a lazy ass teacher and clearly didn’t give a fuck about the students. Although, now that I think about it...he was a stallion. Well, the teacher’s name was Latte Pop.

Well, Latte just walked right in by busting through the door as a manic would or something like that. Well, he then slumped to his desk and put his shit on the desk and he said to all the children in the classroom, “Listen up you little shits! Do whatever the fuck you want! I don’t give a fuck!”

Then a smart-ass nerd kid then said, “But sir, you must be joking. This is a school, for us fillies and colts to learn and expand our knowledge. It is also so we can learn about the real world and so you, the teacher, can prepare us for what is to come in the near future of our daily lives. So, may I suggest that you actually teach us something today instead of letting us do nothing at all and completely waste our time in this building that you call a school for once?”

Then Latte said to all the kids, “Whoever beats up the nerd kid get’s an A on their report card.”

Then all the kids, except for Artier, Shadow, the nerd kid and Retard, mostly because he is retarded, took out a knife and what appears to be a hammer.

Then the nerd kid looked worried and tried to make a run for it, but he was beaten to a bloody pulp and almost was left there at the school for dead.

Well, after the kids were done beating the shit out of that pony that I have no emotions for whatsoever, a female pony in the class with a bright yellow main did say, “I believe this nerd here has a point? We got to at least learn something or least give us something to look up ourselves later on.”

Then every pony agreed in the room, while the nerd pony just laid there with all of his teeth knocked out and blood bleeding from everywhere. Well, Latte then said, “Fine then, if it will get you little fuckers off of my fucking back, then learn something about cutie marks then.”

Then Latte did some crack and did other things that were not appropriate for the kids, such as looking at porno magazines in front of the class, but whatever, apparently the school system here in Stalia is much worse then in America.

Actually, I take that back, it is better than in America. Why you may ask even though it is not really much of a question at all? Well, I don’t know, but I just have a feeling that it just is.

Well, anyways the kids then talked and pretend that the nerd kid wasn’t there still lying on the ground with blood coming out from his mouth and talking about their shit and cutie marks.

Well, Shadow didn’t have anypony to talk to, so he just sat there like a bump on a log and pretended if he actually wanted to commit suicide, even though he just wanted a big brother that wouldn’t abuse him and some friends that would actually care for him.

Yea, you see, Shadow did have friends in the past, but they ended up ditching him and not give a shit about him. I mean, all he wanted was just a normal good pony life, and unfortunately, for him, he doesn’t get that, because Mac is a douchebag, his father is…I really don’t know.

I swear I’ve only seen him alive only once, but the rest of the time he’s unconscious all most all of the time. In fact...I think he's just plain old dead and Mac is in denial that the father's dead. That, and he didn’t have any friends, bully’s that are complete assholes and makes no sense, a teacher who doesn't give a flaming fuck about him, not one bit.

So basically, it was Shadow versus the world. However, of course, what about me and the other guys?

Well, for one thing, my friends do not care either, nor do I, but I do admit, I do feel bad for him, but I wasn't going to help him out. Besides, I wouldn’t know how to fix his problems without Mac complaining about shit that isn’t relevant and it’s all about Applejack, the parents finding out about me killing their son, Artier, and forcing them to be friends with Shadow.

That’s the only way that I could help him out, but it’s unfortunate that it would happen with problems that I can’t fix, but whatever, Shadow was on his own from my own point of view of things.

Well, soon the kids were talking about their cutie marks, and Shadow looked at his ass, for he was staring at a clear ass, because he didn’t have a cutie mark of his own. Well, soon Artier then said, “Well then, it appears that you have no cutie mark, and I have a cutie mark of money on my ass, so that means I am better then you in every way possible. Even though you can still possibly get a cutie mark that is better than mine, I’m still better then you.”

Then Retard said, “Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh, what do I do now boss?”

Then Artier said to him, “Quiet you. Now laugh with me Retard. Laugh with me until we remember of our days past and wait for day’s future to come and fuck with us and all that good jolly shit that these kids say these days. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha h ha ha ha ha ha ha.”

Then Retard said, “ hahahha hahhahha hahhahah hahhahha hahhahha hahhahhah hahhahha.”

Then Shadow was sad as shit and continued to look depressed, for he did not have a picture on his ass. So, Shadow sat in his seat, and waited for the school day to come to an end.

As soon as it ended, Shadow went back home to the farm and was outside. He was talking to Mac, and he was standing in front of a tree. Shadow said to his big brother Mac, “Mac, can I ask you a question? How do I get a cutie mark to appear on my flank?”

Then Mac said to Shadow, “Shadow, you need to hold still so I can aim at your head and throw this empty beer bottle at you and try to violently abuse you because I don’t give a fuck about you at all.”

Then Mac threw the bottle and Mac missed Shadow’s head by eleven feet. Then Mac said, “Dam it! That was my last beer bottle! Well, I might as well try to help you out since I can’t abuse you. Well, my guess is for you to do something in the family that is apple related. However, if it’s related to Applejack, I will then have to kill you and leave your body in the Everfree Froest for the Timber Wolves.”

Then Shadow said to Mac, “But, you do the same thing as Applejack does. You harvest apples and you sell them.”

Then Mac said to his little brother, “No! What I do is different then what shitty Applejack does with her shitty apples. She just sells apples that are shit, while I sell my apples differently. I cut a chicken's throat open over them and cover them with the chicken's blood, so it is a different apple taste then Applejack’s apples. I also sell them with nothing on it but when it’s been up a chipmunk’s asshole, which turns out it splits them in half, so I just throw the remains to the orphans down the street over there, leaving them to eat it raw and filled with maggots. Now come with me Shadow, so I can teach you how to sell Apples the right way and not the wrong way like Applejack does it.”

Then Mac and Shadow went to the market place in Stalia, to sell their apples. When they went to the market place, the market was booming. The tempo of Stalia changed.

Buildings were higher. The parties were bigger and the morals were loser. The liquor was cheaper and restlessness approached hysteria. Ok, that might have been a bit over dramatic a bit and might have or might have not been a rip off from The Great Gatsby.

However, you get the point that the place was doing very well that day old sport. Dam it, I did it again. Anyways, besides that and The Great Gatsby rip-offs, Mac set up the apple stand and put the apples out.

Then, Mac said to Shadow, “Now, listen and watch very closely. I’m about to show you how to sell some apples, and that is a much better way then what Applejack does. It’s even a professional way of selling things.”

Then Mac slowly took a knife out, went up to a random pony, and held him hostage, by holding a knife up to his neck. Then the random pony said, “Ah! What do you want from me!?”

Then Mac said in a kind way, “I want you to buy my mother fucking apples you piece of fucking dog shit!”

Then the random pony said, “Alright, I’ll buy your apples! Just please don’t hurt me!”

Then the random pony took out his money, which was in a bag and gave it to Mac, to which then Mac gave the random pony his apples that he was forcefully paid for.

Then Mac told him in a kind of voice, that was more kind then what Fluttershy would have said it in, “Now you’re my mother fucking bitch from now on you pussy!”

Then the random pony said, “Please, I have a wife and kids who are also standing right there and not doing anything to help me getting freed from you.”

Oddly enough, his wife and kids were standing right there, one mare and two daughters. However, they were just giving him a poker face type look.

Then Mac said, “Fine then, I’ll let you go, but next time you better buy my fucking apples you prick!”

Then the random pony said, “Yes, I’ll do whatever you want. Just please, just don’t kill me.”

Then Mac said in a gritty voice, “So then, how is your day going so far?”

Then the random pony said, “It was going just fine and I was happy till you took me hostage and held a knife up to my throat!.”

Then Mac said, “That’s nice to hear. Have a good day sir and thanks for buying my fucking apples.”

Then Mac let him go, to which the random pony then ran away. While he was running away and his family mysteriously didn't follow him, he said, “Why did I have to come to Stalia today!? I am just a normal Ponyville citizen that’s just trying to buy some things from Stalia!”

Then Mac turned to Shadow and he said, “And that’s how you do it and sell some apples and be better then Applejack. Now it’s your turn to try.”

Then Shadow was about to take the knife from Mac’s hooves, until he said, “Get your own dam knife you little shit of mine.”

Then Shadow looked for a knife and found one on the ground that possibly had AIDS on it. Then he saw an old woman and walked up to her. Then as soon as Shadow walked up to the old lady, he said, “Um… buy my apples or I’ll cut you son of a bitch?”

Then the old lady turned around and she said to the little boy, “Oh, you have a knife I see. Stick that knife into my pussy. I want to feel the pain really hard, while I have bees stinging me up in my asshole at the same time.”

Then it appears to be that Shadow had come across the old lady that had a dark side to her. Well, Shadow then slowly backed up away, put the knife down, and had a depressing face on.

He even walked away from the apple stand because he knew he was not good at what he was trying to do. Along with that, Mac was giving him a look of shame and disappointment as he shook his head as Shadow was walking away as he said to him, "For shame Shadow... for shame..."

Well, Shadow walked around town, while Neon followed him with a guitar and singed him a song. I’ll admit, that the song and music itself was good, but the lyrics didn’t make much sense. Neon singed to the little boy…

I have been masturbating with a silver spoon,
A silver spoon,
Yes I have,
Yes I have.
I have been masturbating with a silver spoon,
Yes I will,
Yes I will.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ,
I have been masturbating since I was a little colt,
And I masturbated every day of my life since then.
Yes I did,
Yes I did.
I even was taught to masturbate
From a guy in a very dark alleyway.
Yes I do,
Yes I do.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
I have been masturbating with a silver spoon
A silver spoon,
Yes I have,
Yes I have.
I have been masturbating with a silver spoon,
Yes I will,
Yes I will.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
When I get on my pony knees,
And pray to Celestia,
That the dark days will not ruin my life,
While I’m trying to masturbate to her.
Yes I did,
Yes I did.
I even wait for moments in my bedroom,
To wait for the dark clouds to go away,
So the dark skies will no longer haunt me ,
While I’m in my dark room praying to Celestia,
While masturbating at the same time,
Yes I do,
Yes I do.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
I have been Masturbating with a silver spoon,
A silver spoon,
Yes I have,
Yes I have.
I have been masturbating with a silver spoon,
Yes I will,
Yes I will.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la ,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
When those dark days come(Cum)
I look upon my silver spoon,
I see how depressed I am,
Yes I Did,
Yes I did.
And I go get a rope to hang myself with.
I then get to pony heaven,
To which I can masturbate in paradise and in happiness,
Yes I do,
Yes I do.
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.

Well then, what the fuck did I just hear, or read for you guys. I’ll do admit, that the song was pretty good for the most part.
Neon is also pretty good when it comes to the songs as well if you think about it for a moment. However, what you have to wonder is, where the fuck did Neon learn to play a guitar?

And for that matter, where did he get one, because I kind of want one now that I think about it. Also, I don’t know why shadow didn’t noticed that Neon was following him around and singing a song about that wasn’t really relevant to him at the moment. Listen, I’m sure in all point of our lives, we all masturbated with a silver spoon one time or another.

Now, it is ok, you can all admit it, we’re all friends here. And if you admit it, now I know who the fuck is a weirdo and I can say, what a bunch of fucking dumbasses and have my laugh of the joke that I just made.

Anyways, it took awhile, but Shadow finally noticed Neon behind him after Neon put his guitar away. Shadow said to Neon, “Were you just following me and singed a song about masturbating?”

Then Neon said, “Maybe I did, or maybe that talking magical fish over there by the river where a boy your age got murdered at by me could have done it.”

Then Shadow just stared at Neon for a bit, while Neon was a bit cross eyed and had very small pupils in his eyes while having a creepy smile on his face. Then Neon said, “What’s the problem kid?”

Then Shadow said, “Well, I don’t have a cutie mark on my flank and everypony else has theirs at school. They even make fun of me of it for not having one.”

Then Neon said, “Well, from your problem, you have one of two choices. You can either A: Go to school and murder everyone there with a penguin plushie toy and fuck an elephant with a hot rod in its eye sockets. Or, you can B: Go to the party store with me for no pointless reason at all and sing a random song that won’t do didly dick for you in any way possible, and possible drug you with a cupcake and harvest your organs and make cupcakes out of them. So, what’s your choice then Jr.?”

Then Shadow just curled up, as if he was afraid of Neon now and afraid to make a choice. Also, may I add, the way he curled up, he kind of looked cute the way he did it.

Anyways, Neon just continued to creepily stare at him, until Shadow said, “Go to the party store?”

Then Neon said aloud, “Now that’s the spirit!”

Then Neon took Shadow’s hooves and dragged him along to the party store. The Mr. Sweet wasn't there to take care of the register at the moment, so Neon was in charge of the place, and thank god that no one was killed or the place burned down, causing the great fire of Stalia.

Well, Neon and Shadow was in the kitchen, to which shadow asked, “So, what are we going to do here?”

Then Neon said, “Well, as I said, we were going to sing songs that are completely pointless and won’t help you in any way possible, so let’s sing a song…about moon crabs.”

What is Neon’s problem with Moon Crabs all of a sudden? Seriously, can he stop doing shit like that, but then again, Moon Crabs are his only friends. Well, Neon then grabbed his guitar out and started to sing. The lyrics were…

Moon crabs,
They’re the best around.
Moon crabs,
They just want to be your friends.
Moon crabs,
Shut the fuck up and try it.
They walk on the moon,
In the vacuum of space.
The look upon the stars,
And dream of a good dream,
Where they kill you.
They feed off of whatever they can now,
They even feed on rocks.
They would even feed off of zombies.
If you even went on the moon,
And they saw you,
They would get the munchies,
And they would eat you.
Now don’t worry a bit now,
For they are the moon crabs.
There is no resist,
There is no hope for you if you even try to fight them.
They’re just be in your nightmares,
Every night you go to dreamland.
They even are indestructible.
The even have a secret weapon that they carry with them…
They carry AK-47s!!!!
So, next time you see them,
Do not resist,
Just let whatever happens happen now.
So just let everything goooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
So the moon crabs can munch off of you,
Because they’re moon crabs.

after Neon was finished, Neon looked down and saw Shadow curled up into a small ball in a corner somewhere because he was fucking scared out of his mind. In fact, he just was deathly afraid of Neon now.

Well, at least I have someone on my side, but then again, Neon is cool and shit. Well, anyways, Then Neon continued to have a creepy smile on his face with the smallest pupils, and he asked Shadow, “So, you liked it!?”

Then Shadow said, “I’m afraid. Are the Moon Crabs going to kill me in my sleep tonight?”

Then Neon said to the little kid, “Nope, not unless you bang a moon crab’s wife. Then you would be killed by a giant corn on the cob!”

Shadow still gave no response, and still had fears in his eyes. Then Shadow said, “Can I please go home now. I’m afraid that the moon crabs will get me now.”

Then Neon said, “Well then…you want to hear another song that doesn’t involve moon crabs?”

Then Shadow said, “Yea…that sounds great! What’s the next song Neon?”

Then Neon said to the poor kid, “Oh…this is a song that I like to sing whenever I get blue on days like these. It will help cheer you up!”

Yea…it is a bit weird how Neon get’s cheered up by this, by I can see why because his instrumental skills are really impressive. Well, the lyrics were this...

All you need to do is kidnap a pony,
And kick him in the nuts!
Now take a little sharp knife, not dull,
A bit of acid,
Just a drop!
The next step is such a bitch,
But it still puts a smile on your face!
Creeply walk up to the pony,
And you will never will regret it!
Killing! So Neat and Hasty!
Killing!
Killing! Don’t be so Pasty!
Killing!
Killing, killing, killing,
KILLING!!!

Well then, those were the lyrics. Now, during the song, Neon literally randomly teleported a random pony into the room, and tied him up while playing his guitar.

Then, he took the knife, slit his throat, and start slowly killing him while saying the words killing over and over again.

Well, if this makes him happy and he stays the fuck away from me, I’m cool with this. And one more thing to note, Neon is just really good at making these songs for some reason, but they’re so fucked up in a way that I cannot even explain, but whatever.

It doesn’t matter that much because Neon does what Neon wants to do. Anyways, after Neon finished playing his last musical number for the day, Shadow went back into the corner where he was once before and curled up into a ball, for he was afraid once more.

When Neon was finished, he looked at Shadow like the last time he finished his last song, but this time, he had blood on his face.

Shadow said to Neon, right in his face. I even have to honor this kid for having such guts to say this in front of Neon and get away with it.

He said, “I’m scared now.”

Everyone, please honor this brave pony for he has earned it. I mean, you just don’t say that to Neon.

I mean, if you ever did say that directly into Neon’s face, you just released hell upon your poor cursed soul. You might as well finish up your bucket list, because it ain’t no unicorns and rainbows from there. Oh no my friend, its hell, and you do not want to go where Neon puts you in, because it is worse than a fate in hell.

Oh yes, it is Neon hell. It is a place where it is his rules and you have to play the game that never ends with him.

So, yea, that shit goes around here. Anyways, instead of Neon sending the kid into Neon hell, Neon simply just said, “You want to hear another song then Shadow?”

By the way, I bet that song was Neon hell. I’m pretty sure it would have made it into a number one spot if it was song if it was recorded on Earth. I mean, I heard it, and I’ll admit, it would reach to number one on the music charts.

Anyway, that happened, and instead of Shadow saying, ‘yes’, he just ran away.

However, while he was running away, Neon yelled back at him, “I’ll see you later in hell Shadow! Yes…I will see you in hell. No one says I’m scared to me. ha ha…ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!”

Then a timer went ding and Neon noticed it. When Neon noticed it, he stopped his laughing and he said, “Oh boy, the cupcakes are done. I wonder how it is going to taste without the organs I usually put in them. Although, even if they taste bad without the organs, it was still a fun time baking them while singing that song Pinkie Pie taught me.”

Then Neon walked away from the door and went to get and enjoy his actually, normal cupcakes that are not fucked up or have any organs in them in any way possible.

Also, I wouldn’t know if Neon was really serious about seeing Shadow in Neon Hell, because he isn’t dead yet. Although, you have to admit, sometimes you do want that kid to die…deep somewhere down in your heart.

You really do want him to die a painful slow death. You just do somehow, but at the same time, you don’t, because he’s just a kid and he’s somehow cute just a bit in some sort of way possible.

Anyways, Shadow then ran the fuck away from the Party Store and decided to check up on good ol’ Classy Jack and talk to him for some odd reason.

Well, Shadow found his place of work/home, and he knocked on the door. After he knocked, Jack answered it and Shadow asked if he could come in. Well, Jack said yes and he was let in.

Jack was working some shit of his that I’m sure is wacky and will lead to another what the fuck adventure, while Shadow found a nice spot to sit and talk with him. Shadow said, “Jack, can I ask you a question?”

Then Jack said, “Yea, sure I guess… but why ask me? Don’t you have Mac, your big brother, to tell you the birds and the bees?”

Then Shadow said to Jack, “Well, yes… but he wasn’t much help. Although he did tell me about the birds and the bees one night when he was really drunk. I’m not even sure if he was right or not.”

Then Jack asked, “Well what did he say about the birds and the bees?”

Then Shadow responded with, “Well, he said that the bees are usually making honey. They are busy and don’t want anything messing with their shiz… and that’s how Mac told me to say it. Well, a bird that was trying to steal their honey they worked so hard for many years attacked the bees then one day.

The next thing that you know, that the bees got angry, and killed the birds with a turd bomb and made them eat Applejack’s apples to which they died. Then the bees heard babies chirping noises coming from above their hive nest.

They then go to check it out and it was hungry baby birds. They then felt bad about it, because the birds were just trying to feed their younglings, so they decide to feed them some of their honey.

However, some of the bees disagreed with the other bees about the subject, and then there were debates about it. There were many political debates and government bee shutdowns and corruption as well.

Then it lead to a five hundred year war, which there were no bee survivors, and the baby birds died of Big Mac disease, while Applebloom feasted on their souls and tortured them in apple hell. They died that way instead of starving to death.
Then my big brother just finished the entire seventh 64 oz. bottle of Vodka, threw it against the wall which almost hit my head, laid against me and cried through the night. He kept crying about how the apples don’t love him and he threaten the apples.

Then he said the apples were trying to sue him in apple court, but he shot the apple and felt bad about it. I asked him the next morning, but he called me a pussy and started to abuse me in the most wrong ways possible that are not sexually related.”

Then Jack said, “Son, let me tell you a few things. First off, I lost you at the part where the Bees had a five hundred year war. Second, once you said that Mac told you that the birds were trying to get honey, because that is just bullshit right there. I mean, your big brother was lying to you after he said that. Third, it was the Vodka that he drunk that made him do that. Lastly, I don’t care if he abused you or not. I really don’t care if he did. I mean, me and the other guys could not care less about you being abused. We’re cool being your friends and all, but we don’t care if you die or not. We just do not care.”

Then Shadow said, “Well…um…ok then, but Mac gave me a music sheet which is a song that the bees sung during the five hundred year war. The song was called, ‘I hate Applejack’s guts so much, I’m going to blow up her house because I am better than her.”

Then Jack just stared at Shadow for a bit, until he said, “Yea… he’s lying to you. Anyways, what is the question you wanted to ask me that you came to me in the first place?”

Then Shadow said, “Oh… um… I was just wanted to know…how do you get a cutie mark?”

Then Jack sighed and he said, “Listen…kid…getting a cutie mark is whenever you get one…ok? I mean, how I got my cutie mark was long and hard… hehe, long and hard. Besides, you really should not come and seek me for advice on how to do shit. I mean, I don’t even teach my little brother on how to do this kind of shit. In fact I try my best to be an asshole t him.”

Then Shadow started to have wide eyes and had a very surprised look on his face, he then said, “You have a brother?”

Then Jack sighed once more and closed his eyes, as if he just had a migraine, which I get sometimes from Neon surprisingly, but it then goes away because somehow Neon knows about it and replaces it with porn in my mind.

I don’t want to talk about it…ok. Anyways, Jack then said, “Look, kid, just listen up here for a moment. I am only going to say this once and once only…so listen well. I do have a little brother. My parents named him Cobalt Bow, but since they left him here with me, I call him White Curse, because he is a curse and a bitch. In fact, that is what everypony calls him almost every time they see him around, so call him by that. That and one thing I should mention is that I pretend that he doesn’t exist at all and that he’s just a kid that hangs around my shop and all.”

Then White came out of a room, looking a bit curious. He asked Jack, “You called my name brother Jack?”

Then Jack said, “Who are you and what you doing in my shop you little shit? Don’t you have parents!? Huh!? You better not steal anything from here kid, I’ll stab you fifty times in the chest, you got that punk kid!? I swear you’re the little bastard that has been stealing money from the tip jar that doesn’t exist because I just made it up.”

Then White just continued to have a… I don’t know… an ok type of face, since he’s been putting up with this for many years of his life so far. What white looked like was… Well, he had a bit of a between of a white and a grey coat. His mane and tail however…I can’t really explain, because it’s sort of hard to describe, but if I had to, it’s like a normal colt type of mane?

Well, he turned around and started to go back to his room and look at a porno magazine, because he was curious. I am sure that’s what little kids do, because they are still curious about the birds and the bees and no one can tell an accurate story about the birds and the bees.

I mean, that kid has a long ways to go before he knows what a stiff dick is and a pussy is at all. Then again, I learned sex when I was just eleven years old of age, and I turned out just fine.

I mean, I smoke weed, get drunk, say a lot of course words, but only because I’m around Wolf almost all of the time. I also make racists’ jokes; kill people and ponies, and a lot of crazy shit that a normal person or pony would not even do.

So, lesson is, just do what I do and you’ll turn out fine. Anyways, aside from that poorly crafted joke, White noticed Shadow and he had a bit of a surprised look on his face. He said, “Hey, what is your name?”

Then Shadow was a bit nervous, but he then calmed down and he said, “Well… my name is Shadow.”

Then White said to Shadow, “I’m White as you can tell by my brother Jack.”

Jack then cut into the conversation and he said, “Shadow… who the fuck are you talking to? I mean, are you ok? You need to see a therapist. Are you going insane and seeing either dead ponies or a pony that doesn’t exist?”

Shadow and White just decided to ignore what Jack said, and continue with their conversation about their shit. Well, White said, “Don’t mind my brother. He always does that to me. I mean, it may seem harsh at first, but after awhile, you’ll get used to it. Anyways…you want be friends?”

Then Shadow said, “Sure! I never really had a friend before. Although, why haven’t I seen you around school before?”

White then replied to Shadow, “Well, my parents believe that I should be home schooled instead of going to a public one. My Mom and Dad are afraid I will turn into just like my brother Jack, so they home school me. However, since they dropped me off here, they want Jack to home school me.”

Then Shadow asked, “Does he home school you?”

Then White said, “Well… not exactly. He just puts me in my room, gives me a bunch of random books that I am not even sure if they’re educational at all, and drop them on the ground for me. He just says to me ‘figure it out.’ I mean, he doesn’t even test me on them, nor does he even care about what I learn or what I think.”

It took Shadow a bit to sink all of that into his little colt skull, until he got an idea. Once he got that idea, he had a bit of a smile on his face, and he thought of a good idea… well… at least a good idea to him in his opinion.

To me it just says that he’s a fucking retard… somehow. I’m not sure how, but I’ll eventually find something about that’s horrible about Shadow’s idea. Well, Shadow then asked White, “Hey, why don’t you go to school with me instead of being here? As long as you don’t tell your parents, you and I could hang out together.”

White didn’t have to think for a second about that, and he immediately jumped to the conclusion of, “That sounds like a great idea! I mean, it sure beats looking at books that teaches me how to get rid of a dead body and trying to figure out what a clitoris is while looking at porno magazines.”

Then Shadow asked White, “So… you want to hang out and try to figure out how to get our cutie marks since we don’t have them yet?”

Then White said, “Sure. Although Jack did say that if I ever left the house, he would lock me out because he pretends that I’m a stranger to him and not family to him.”

Shadow thought for a bit, to which he said, “Don’t worry, We’ll figure something out. Maybe you can stay at my house in the mean time. I’m sure my big brother Mac would be fine with it. I can just imagine what he would say to it.”

Shadow was thinking of it indeed. What he was thinking of Mac yelling at the both of them and saying, “I’m going to fucking stick a pool table stick up your ass and light both of you on fire if you ever try to do that you little shits. Now go away as I plot my next terrorist like plot against Applejack and try to sell Dad on the black pony market.”

After Shadow had thought that, he said, “Yeah that would be great to hear from him…I think.”

Well it’s obvious here, that Shadow does not know what is right from wrong. However, I guess I can forgive that, since it’s all Mac’s fault and for once, it’s wasn’t Neon’s fault. Anyways, White then brought up the question, “So…where should we start in trying to figure out how to get our cutie marks?”

Then Shadow said, “Well…I didn’t really think of that. I think maybe Applejack could help us out…but Mac is going to hate us for going to talk to her.”

Then Shadow paused for a moment, until he said, “I’ve got it! We can go talk to my friend Knight. Maybe he knows how to get one.”

Then those two little shits went to my house. I was just reading the Equestria Daily News, until I heard a knock on my door.

When I heard it, I said aloud, “Go away! I’m not interested in joining a stupid religion! If you’re Jovial Witnesses, then you have five seconds before I rip your lungs out and shove it in your eye sockets!”

Then I just happened to looked up, and see a floating ghost like figure of a member.

He said, “But Knight, I’m already in here.”

Then I said, “Dam it! How do you keep getting into my fucking house!?”

Then the ghost said, “I go through the top of the house Knight.”

I then said to myself, “Well then, I just have to get that roof fixed then. Maybe I should make a bet with Wolf, win the bet, and make him do it. I don’t feel like fixing it. Wait a second, why I haven’t I called Ghostbusters yet from their universe?”

Then Bill Murray came the fuck out of nowhere and he said, “Don’t worry, I’m here. I was just a little late and got caught up in traffic.”

Then Bill used his proton pack and captured the ghost. He then picked up the ghost trap and started to walk away. As he was walking away, he said, “Have a nice day Technicolor talking pony.”

Next, for whatever reason, Shadow finally responded to my comment with, “What are you talking about it. It’s me, Shadow?”

I don’t know why he said it if it was a question. Maybe he is unsure of his existence. Maybe…he doesn’t exist at all. What a twist! That was a shitty M. Night joke but it gets better, I promise.

Anyways, I then got up while being annoyed, and went to open the door to talk to them. When I did, I faced the two colts, and I said to those little shits, “What do you want Shadow? Aren’t you supposed to be like being abused by Mac and have broken glass all up in your face? That and who is this little fuck that you have for a friend that I clearly have no interest in at all?”

Shadow then replied with, “Well, this is my new friend White Curse. He’s Jack’s little brother.”

I then said, “That explains the name for the kid then. Although, why didn’t Jack mention a little brother to me?”

White then said, “My big brother tries to pretend I don’t exist and pretends that I’m not there or a little kid in his shop planning on stealing something.”

I then said to the little shit, “That’s not surprising to me. I would do the same thing if I had you as a little brother.”

Then White said, “Why doesn’t anypony like me? I mean, my mom almost had an abortion while she was pregnant for me.”

I then commented, “Perhaps if you weren’t a little shit all the time, maybe you would have at least be known for being forever alone. Although for Shadow, even though I don’t care about him, I still feel for him though.”

Then Shadow said, “Thanks Knight.”

I then said back to him, “Sure, whatever you say donkey ass raping whore metal can monster of a hoe that has a telephone up its ass. Maybe I had too much weed.”

I then retreated into my house to understand what the fuck was going on, while the two little colts just stood there, dazed and confused. However, they didn’t leave yet.

At the time, I was wondering, ‘What the fuck do they want!? Do they want me to buy fucking cookies or something!?

Maybe if they are selling the coconut ones, I’ll buy it, because that shit is good. That and Wolf needs a hole in his life while Princess Molestia is away and not dicking around with him…along with some butter to make it a bit easier for him.’

Well, when I retreated, I said to myself, “How much pot did I have last night while playing with Wolf? Dam it; I had better not have another hangover again. Hey Tiger, do you know how much pot I had last night?”

Then the tiger…that strangely enough I named Tiger. I’m not very creative when it comes to names all the time. Anyways, the tiger from that time when I had that hangover adventure when it appeared in my house without remembering getting a tiger just yawned at me and went to sleep.

I then said to Tiger, “You’re a great fucking help… you pussy ass bitch. Wake the fuck up! Tell me how much pot I had last night you piece of fucking shit! Do it or I’ll cut your fucking tiger balls off and do your dead tiger mom with it! Man…I’m just really high right now…aren’t I? I mean, he isn’t giving a shit, I’m high, and…the two little colts are in my house right now, heard what I just said.”

Then Shadow said, “Well, it isn’t all that bad. I mean, my big brother Mac usually says that I’m a piece of shit that won’t fuck a dog on a piece of candy on the moon with stars up my dick. He also said that when he was drunk as well, so, it isn’t all that bad. It could’ve been worse.”

I then sighed and asked the two kids, “Listen, just tell me what you want so you can get the fuck off of my property.”

Then White cut into the conversation and he said, “Even though I haven’t met you and all, but since my brother Jack talks about you sometimes at random, but doesn’t Princess Celestia owns this property since she is the one who paid for it in the first place so you could live in it?”

I then responded back with, “Kid, do you want your mouth shoved up an old lady’s anus that has none stop shit coming out twenty four/seven, while having AIDS up a python’s eye socket…or do you want me to answer a question that you have for me?”

Then Shadow said, “Well…we were wondering if you could tell us how to get a cutie mark and all Knight, so we could possibly try to get one of our very own one day.”

I then said to both of them, “You two kids are officially retards of this town, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Kids, do you see a picture on my ass?”

Then White hesitated a bit and said, “Uhhhhh…….”

I then said once more, “I said, do you see a picture upon my mother fucking asshole, you two retard kids that can go fuck yourself with a skunk and down it with beer!? Do you fucking see a fucking picture on my fucking ass!!!”

Then White hesitated once more, to which I then stuck my ass all up in his face, while saying to him, “Look at my fucking ass and tell me what you see!”

Then Shadow finally spoke up and he said to me, “Well…is it your ass or that ass standing right behind you.”

I then said, “What the fu…”

I then turned around to see what Shadow was talking about, to which it was a donkey behind me that somehow broke into my house without me noticing him.

He said to me, “Hello neighbor. I just moved in next door to you. I just recently moved from Ponyville with my wife and two innocent kids who love me very much and would not want a single bad thing happen to me at all. I moved here to Stalia because a good friend of mine named Twilight and Pinkie Pie told me very good things about this town, along with you being a very good friend and a neighbor to have indeed. I can see your very truthful friend of Twilight and Pinkie Pie were certainly telling the truth about their words. You are a very nice pony. I can see that you and I will get along together just fine, for I am an innocent, harmless, friendly donkey that just wants to be friends with you so badly and do not see any danger of being your friend. Well, I can see that you have a very nice home. Where did you get half of this…”

I then cut him off and said on the top of my lungs, “That’s it! I had enough with this random bullshit happening to me right now!”

I then took the donkey, tackled him into the kitchen and slammed him into my kitchen counter top, to which I then used a number of objects beat him to a bloody pulp with it.

I used objects such as toaster, a microwave, pots and pans, a blender, and a spatula. I then lastly took a waffle iron, which strangely enough that you can plug into it, weird, and turned it on.

I then forced his face into it, to which he was screaming in pain due to his face being burned off with the hot surface of the waffle iron. I then proceeded to slam the lid shut on his head repeatedly, until he was almost dead, and he was bleeding all over the place as well.

While I was doing such an innocent thing, he pretty much made that noise that a donkey makes, like hee haw or something like that. Is there even a word for such a noise?

Then again, I live in Equestria, so I would not know, because these ponies here are intelligent enough to not fucking question and make up a song what the fuck noise that foxes make.
Just saying is all, because it is intelligent in all seriousness. Anyways, after I almost killed the donkey, which strangely enough I threatened him if he ever told his family what I did to him, I’ll cut him. I was so high that day, I cannot explain it.

Also, he woke up, he said out loud, “Why did Twilight lie to me!? Why!? I just wanted to be friends with the guy! I’m never trusting that lying bitch again! She’s supposed to be good to her subjects, but never lie to them! I’m never trusting what an Alicorn says again!”

Anyways, as I was saying before, right after I did that, I then turned my attention back to the two little colts once more with no more distractions…get away giant talking banana…I’m not in the fucking mood…Anyways, as I was saying, I went up to the two little kids and said, “I’m sorry that you had to see that.”

Then Shadow said, “That’s ok, Mac does that whenever we have guests over and it’s not his friends.”

I then stared blankly at them, and started to wonder…why? I then said to both of them, “Well then, now I know why I hear screams in the middle of the night that comes from Mac’s place. Anyways, as you can tell, there is no picture on my ass, so now you have your answer, get the fuck away from me you little shits.”

Then Shadow looked a bit depressed for a bit, till he said, “Well…I guess so…but the only person who I can talk to is Applejack.”

I then said to them, “Why do I have a feeling that you are going to beg me to distract Mac so you two can run off and go talk to her, so Mac doesn’t think you’re a traitor and try to kill you because you talked to her?”

They then stared at me with two puppy dog eyes, that says, ‘Please…I’ll suck your dick if you do it.’

I then said, “Fine then, but you fucking owe me. I can’t believe that I have to talk to Mac who is insane instead of my smoking my poorly grown weed.”

I also said that as I was walking out of my house. Anyways, we then walked to Mac’s house, and eventually got there, to which I started to look for Mac. It took me a while, because it was just a sea of endless apple trees that Mac grew himself, which kind of smelt a bit nice that day.

I have to say, that if I see one more fucking apple tree, I’m going to staple my balls to my forehead, because I’m sick of looking at them. Well, eventually I found him, starting fight with an Apple tree.

Yes, he was drunk off his little pony ass, talking trash to a tree, to which he believed it was talking shit about him and his apples, along with saying that Applejack is better then him. I overheard him say, “You piece of fucking shit. You can go fuck yourself, you lonely piece of shit of a tree. You couldn’t even bang half the chicks that I do every day…which is none! You think you better than me. Well do you!? Well fuck you, you can shove Applejack’s apples right up your tree asshole, so suck it tree. What, you want to rumble? I’ll fucking rumble with you.

'Just don’t say I didn’t warn that I’m a mean mother fucking boxer. In my day, I was the national championship boxer, and took out a pony named Ali McDouchebag! He was the strongest pony there ever was, who had the fanciest mustache throughout the land, to which Celestia fucked him, to which I was greatly pissed off at, because I fucked her before he did, so he didn’t deserve any of the cookies. Alright tree, you better get ready for a pounding of your life, better prepare to run like a pussy mother fucker.”

Then Mac upchucked everything that he ate that morning including his beer he had just consumed. He just threw it up all over the tree; I thought I saw a dead rabbit in it. Well, after Mac finished puking, he was still standing to which he said to the tree, “Take that you bitch.”

I then walked up to him, with the children behind me; because I’m pretty sure they needed child services. Well, I walked up to him, and said to him, “Hey Mac, can I talk to you for a bit?”

Then Mac noticed me and he just had a blank expression on his face when he saw me. In fact, he even noticed the children, although he had a bit of an angry expression on his face.

For a minute, I thought he finally realized he hates kids, so he’s asking me to put down Shadow. I wouldn’t have done it, but an Old Yeller joke had to be made at the time, so I would have been willing enough to do such a thing.

Anyways, Mac then said to me, “Hey Knight, how’s it going? Why do you have Shadow and his gay friend with him? Did they do something bad? Dam it Shadow, when are you ever going to learn your lesson about not bothering my friends you piece of worthless shit! This time, you’re going to get your ass slapped till the cows come home and put you in the barn house till you learn your lesson and thought about what you did.”

I then said to Mac, “First off, you and me have to talk about you being a big brother to Shadow here before child services come and beat the shit out of you. Second, that’s not why I’m here. Although, they did annoy the shit out of me, but that’s not it though. I just wanted to…to…to..son of a bitch…um…to talk to you about attacking Applejack?”

Then Mac had a surprised happy look on his face and knocked down the two kids that was behind me. He then got up all up in my face and said to me, “You’re finally agreeing with me!? You want to help take out Applejack and her family, including relatives!?”

I then said to him, “Yeah…sure…whatever distraction works with you, I’m totally fine with that happening.”

He then said to me, “Why, this is the greatest news I have heard in years! Oh this joyous day of news, I am so happy with glee upon my face! Quick, we must get the crusade together before we strike at her heart! Peasant, set the signal on fire!”

Then a random pony that was in drag and in rags was holding a torch that was next to a pile of sticks. He then said, “Aye aye sir!”

He then lit the pile of sticks on fire, to which it gave a signal to put the other sticks on fire that was miles away, to which it made some movie reference and it set a signal to a group according to Mac.

Mac then said, “Now the crusade has been notified of our coming! Quick Knight, we shall have to travel to the great beyond the mountain that we see with our very eyes to get to the crusade. On ward Knight, for step one of our plans to defeat Applejack is almost complete!”

He then ran along with dragging me along as well. As he was dragging me along with him to hell… I mean to the great beyond, I said to myself, “What the fuck have I gotten myself into!”

I then left and then did a weird montage of scaling mountains as high as the birds could fly.

In fact, we got up to high attitudes, that it was cold as fuck. I mean, my ass was freezing. Well, long story short, since I don’t want to go off on some other random bullshit that requires Morgan Freeman to narrate, because…

MORGAN FREEMAN’S NARRATION…

I’ve fucking got it from here Knight. Keep your fucking pony shit together…aright?

Anyways, as Knight said, we’re going to keep it short, but I’m sure by the time you reading this, you’re already complaining that you don’t have enough information of to which you can go off of and what was it really like for Knight.

In fact, you possibly hate Knight’s life right now and thinking that it was barely described. Well, here’s what I said to that, fuck you and go eat a dick you piece of Black Racists.

Now, since we got all the white people out of this, let us get to this part of the story, and even though this book is going to a random person…hopefully…me, Morgan Freeman, can still tell if they hate it or not, so go fuck yourself.

Besides, I’m Morgan Freeman, I can do whatever I please bitch, even if it does mean breaking the fourth wall.

Anyways, Knight and Mac traveled very far and great distances. They pushed through the snow and ice storms they encountered, but eventually got to their destination. Their destination was a little wooden shack, built on the top of a mountain, which was lit with a very light and poorly made fire.

As soon as Mac and Knight got to the shack, Knight knocked down the door, for he was cold as fuck.

When he got in, he fell to the floor, because he was cold as fuck and needed some warmth. Well, after he got back up so he could continue to what the fuck he was doing, he noticed a bunch of man that looked like they belonged from Skyrim and Lord of the Rings.

They all stood there, telling of stories of days past, along with singing some folk songs and eating soup of some kind that is possibly some weird ass soup.

Remember; see what the black guy did there?

Well, as soon as Knight saw who was in the shack, Mac came in and shut the door. Mac then said to everyone as a quick speech, “Listen up you all lazy assholes! I come with great news from the mainland that is known as society, where all ponies actually are not weird and socialize, which you all should do sometime. Anyways, that is not why I am here, but I bring of good news, that we have another member who wants to fight back. And…since he is a student of Princess Celestia we have strong support on our side now! Now, we have enough strength to take down Applejack. Now, we shall go forth into Ponyville tonight, and we shall strike where it matters to her the most!”

Then one the members spoke up, and no, it was not to leave the group. Instead, it was, “Wait a single second here. You promised us that if we helped you kill Applejack, you would help us kill the dragon and get us our home back before we help you?”

Then Mac stood there for a moment and he said, “Right, about that…fuck you, we’re going with my plan.”

Then another member of the crusade then said, “Well then, it looks like you’re fucked, because you’re not getting help from us then.”

Then as all the members were about to leave, he then said, “Fine then! Me and Knight shall help you get your home back, and then help us out.”

Then another member said, “Good, we better get going then if we want to make it to our home in time before Luna’s moon settle’s in for the night.”

They then left the small wooden shack and to make a long adventure story short, they ended up making a Hobbit parody, from An Unexpected Journey.

Well, eventually that parody finished up and they eventually got to the home of the dreaded dragon. As soon as they entered the huge ass double doors, which I never saw a point to having them in the first place at all, they entered the main throne room where the dragon was having his afternoon nap in.

He was sleeping upon the mountains of gold and bits that were scatted around the room. The crusade then soon tip-hoofed through the throne room, not trying to make a sound to wake up the dragon.

They then went into stealth mode like in Splinter Cell: Blacklist, and was ready to kill the dragon in his sleep.

They were all in the ready position to kill, until one of the members soon fucked everything up and ran towards the dragon. While he was running, he said, “Leroy Jenkins!”

Then he stumbled onto the floor, to which he woke up the dragon and the dragon woke up from his deep slumber. When the dragon woke up, he was pissed off to a boil and looked upon the pony, as if he was his next meal instead of a shitty CGI bird.

He looked at the poor white guy pony, to which he as well looking upon the dragon’s eyes. He looked upon them with pure happiness and hope. He then said to the dragon, “Mr. Dragon, I hope you’re a chick, because I have such a pony boner right now and I want to fuck your brains out right now.”

To which the dragon’s reply was burn him to death, for which the dragon did so. The dragon breathed fire upon the pony’s skin and killed him.

Then the dragon made a loud roar that could be heard throughout the room and looked at the remaining crusaders. He then went after them, to which the leader of the crusade, which was Mac said, “Retreat!”

The crusade then ran out of the place and the dragon was eventually killed outside, in a non-interesting battle to the death. However, unfortunately, only Mac and Knight were the only survivors.

How the dragon died you might ask…well, he died of ghost AIDS, because as the dragon was about to fuck up Knight and Mac, the ghost of the pony that ruined everything came back as a pony ghost and raped the dragon in ghost form.
I’m not sure either how that is even possible, but apparently the dragon got Ghost AIDS and died. Well, as soon as the dragon died, Knight said, “What the fuck just happened right now?”

To which Mac replied with, “Well, we just killed a dragon and our plans to kill Applejack is now ruined. Oh well, let’s go home.”

Soon, Knight and Mac made the journey back home, which again was like the parody of The Hobbit, such as There and Back Again. Well, eventually that made the long journey back home to the non-peaceful town of Stalia.

Knight went back home to end his day of pure bullshit, and Mac went back home. When he went back home, his father was still on the couch, not showing any signs of life, but was somehow still alive for some strange reason.

He was also greeted to the sight of Shadow, White, and a filly, all laughing together and talking about some shit. Then Mac said, “What the fuck happened here? Who is this chick Pegasus?”

Then Mac gasped and he asked Shadow, “Wait…Shadow, did you rape her or something? If so, I am so proud to be your big brother and promise to slightly care about you more from now on, because you made me proud.”

Then Shadowed said, “Well, no…this is what happened Mac…”

Now, let Knight handle the rest for you, while I go and dream of black guy stuff…

BACK TO KNIGHT

Thanks…thanks Morgan Freeman…You’re a real asshole you know that right? Well, I suppose you all must be wondering what the fuck happened with Shadow’s side of the story now.

Well, after I was taken by Mac to do some shit with him, Shadow and White just stood there for a few seconds. Then Shadow said, “Well…,I guess this is our chance to go to talk to Applejack then since this is our chance.”

They then both traveled to Ponyville, and strangely enough in record time as well. Well, they eventually hit Applejack’s farm, to which Applejack was bucking some apples.

She was minding her own business, when she noticed a noise was made behind a tree. When she noticed it, she had somewhat a pissed off look in her eyes.

She was looking at her apple trees that were visible to her and even squinted her eyes a bit, as if she was an Asian pony or something.

What is wrong with her and trying to think she’s Asian? She’s a redneck who doesn’t give a shit about foreigners and their fancy vehicles and believes anyone would own a gun. Granted, this is a My Little Pony universe, so that doesn’t matter here.
Well…for this universe that is, because we all know that there exists a universe where the Mane six do drugs, kill each other…kind of like my life story right now.

Well what do you know, there is an entire universe that is about me, that’s awesome. Also, I know I’m surprised as well that I just used another fancy word you fancy, ignorant, picky son of a bitching pricks.

I mean, as a pony, a pony like me would never have fucking used the word granted, but for some reason, you are all shocked now, possibly believing the world is ending and pissing your pants right now.

Perhaps even shitting your pants if I’m lucky, but then again you’re a bunch of idiots. Even though I haven’t met you and this is for a story for the future that I somehow seem to constantly remind you all, or you would think you’re dreaming, and of course that’s what you wish what it was, but sadly, this isn’t Inception, although I wish it was.

Then shit would be cool every day, like walking on walls and shit. Yeah…that is fucking awesome, but back my life’s story that you all really do not care about, because you have no fucks to give.

Anyways, besides that random bullshit right there that just happened, Applejack was pissed off and worried that it was Mac. The sounds that were made behind the apple trees were made again, and Applejack took a step closer.

She then said aloud to that tree, which that apple tree deserved a good yelling for doing absolutely nothing, but all trees eventually need to be punished occasionally. Anyways, Applejack yelled, “Mac, is that you!? You better get your plot off of my darn property before I get my brother Big Mac on you! I swear to you Mac that Big Mac will not go easy on you this time! I’ll give you five seconds to come on out here and explain to me why you’re on my property!”

Then Shadow and White slowly came out behind the tree. Ok, first off, here is a question that I even don’t know.

I mean, sure, I’m over fifty-thousand years old, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do everything. I mean do you think Celestia could just magically solve things, such as major problems in the land of Equestria when it happens.

Do you obviously think that she could ever use her magic, since she is like a goddess and all, and use her magic to solve a hunger problem.

To say there wasn’t no food left in Equestira, you think that Celestia good just magically make food appear and that would be that? You think she could stop a war and shit? Fuck no, she can’t!

Not because she is a girl, or though, I wouldn’t mind making a sexist joke sometime. In fact, note to self, when right moment is right, make a sexist joke.

Anyways, it’s not because of that, but even god like beings or powerful beings or some shit like that that has some shit to do with me has their limits to their abilities.

Anyways, the question is why the fuck Shadow and White didn’t just come out of the tree the first time, instead of forcing Applejack to threaten them by mistake. Man, I would make a good Cinema Sin guy for YouTube.

Anyways, other then why asking Shadow and White didn’t do that in the first place, they came out to confront Applejack.

Man, I’m using so many different words now that you all must be thinking that the world is ending already.

Of course by now, I’m being sarcastic, because there’s a million things that humans can’t catch onto and do jackshit for it. Anyways, that shit happened, while Shadow and White had a bit of frowns on their faces…strangely enough. I wouldn’t know why they would have it in the first place.

I mean. They didn’t do anything wrong, unless it’s their fault they caused 9/11 to happen? Then again, they look old enough to be suicide bombers. I mean, when newborn babies are born in the Middle East, the first ten seconds of their life, they are given a name, and are put in a terrorist training camp.

Of course, why didn’t I see it before!? Those tricky Muslim bastards. They are using babies to blow up other American places, because it is a clever disguise.

Moreover, it appears that they send in little colts to do their dirty work. I have to keep a close eye on Shadow and White now. I don’t know about them anymore. They seem suspicious now.

Then again, I’m pretty sure ninety-nine point ninety-nine of you are all saying that I am an idiot. Well then, would an idiot say sock it to me!? I see not! Anyways, when Applejack saw the two little colts appear, she put a little smile on her face and was relived a bit.

She said to herself, “Well thank Celestia it isn’t Mac. You had me going there for a second that it was your big brother Mac.”

Then Shadow said, “Sorry Cousin Applejack, we were just a bit afraid of coming here. Especially if Mac ever knew about me coming here, he would do bad things to me, but yet he says it because he’s teaching me a lesson not to like you.”

Applejack had a bit of an annoyed face on while she remembered those annoying times with Mac. However, Applejack shrugged it off and she said, “Well, don’t worry, even if he does find out, you’re always welcomed to stay here. I mean it isn’t like you’re shunned from the Apple Family Shadow. In fact, every pony in the Apple Family likes you and they do wish they could see you as well. But since you live with Mac…well we can’t do much to help you because we’re all afraid that Mac is going to do something that’s going to start a war or something.”

Then Shadow looked up with a curious face upon his…face, and he said, “Everypony wants to see me?”

Then Applejack said, “Well, sure. You’re the only one, other than Mac and your pa, who is shied away from the Apple Family. You’re always welcomed to come over here as long as you will like if you want. I mean it isn’t like you act like them anyways. Anyhow, what brings you and your little friend over here to Apple-Acres and risking to get caught by Mac?”

Shadow then said, “Well, me and my friend White wanted to know how we can get our cutie marks?”

Once Applejack heard the words getting out cutie mark, she had an annoyed face once again, for she remembered those time that she had with her little sister and her friends trying to gain one as well. She then sighed to herself and she mumbled to herself, “Not again.”

She then said to Shadow with her full attention, “Shadow, getting a cutie mark isn’t the matter of you knowing what to do to get one, but it’s waiting for the right moment in which you find what you’re good at. Do you understand?”

Then, Shadow said, “Nope.”

Also, he said it like it was a joke or something, and I’ll admit, I chuckled a bit. Anyways, Applejack then gave it some thought, as she didn’t want to go through what she did with Applebloom.

She then said, “Well, there is a little cutie mark party going on at Sugar Cube Corner, maybe you can come along with me so I can go with Applebloom, so you can talk to the other fillies and colts on how they got their cutie marks. Then maybe you’ll understand on getting a cutie mark.”

Shadow stood there for a while, thinking about what Applejack had just said not long ago. Then, Shadow reached to a conclusion and he said, “Sure, that sounds fine than just fending off for myself and getting taught by my big brother.”

Then Applejack said, “Then it’s settled then. Hey, you can even meet your cousin Applebloom if you get a chance. I mean, she never met her cousin Shadow, in matter of fact, she doesn’t know that you’re her cousin at all. We’ll leave as soon as I finish bucking my apples. I have to get them harvested before they start to go bad. Maybe you and your friend could help.”

And so they did, while also singing a song, which yea I know the songs are starting to get a bit tiring here, but for once, we’re going to skip it. Why you may ask in your mind of pure shit?

Well, it’s because there just too many to list and to remember. It is also quite a shame, really, because this one was actually a normal one that you would see on the show. However, hey, that’s life.

Anyways, they soon left to go the party down at Sugar Cube Corner. However, back in Stalia, which was happening while the shit with Applejack and Shadow was at the same time.

Jack had just finished his work for the day, while I was somewhere on a mountain fighting off ogres and shit, while some wizard with a shitty ass stick was saying, “None shall not trot a very slow pace to pass me!”

In other words, a shitty version of a famous line. Anyways, Jack had just finished, and he got another knock in his door.
When he did, he said to himself, “It better not be that little Asian kid who hangs around my shop and is eyeing to still my shit.”

When Jack opened up the door, it revealed a child filly that went by the name of Misty Midnight. I have to admit, it sounds like a good name for a Pegasus filly.

And for once, my group of friends those who are not off the show will no longer appear to be sexist. It’s sad, yes, I mean even though we still had Mrs. Sweet, she’s a bitch because I barley know her, so whatever, you get the point.

Anyways, her coat color was a…how do I put it? It was a mix of winter, icy, night sky colors. It’s like for the winter, or something like that.

I wouldn’t know what exact color that would be, but that is the general description to give for her coat color. It also include for her mane and tail. Her mane, I wouldn’t know how to describe it.

It’s hard to tell because…I don’t know, but it felt like it was beautiful on her. Anyways, other than that and making me look like a pedophile there for a moment, her tail was also a long type of tail other than a tomboy-ish look to it.

For her eye color, it was a beautiful Midnight Blue type of color. She too did not have a cutie mark of her own. In fact, she acted a bit odd at first when she went up to Jack’s door.

She was wearing like a cloak or something or a bit of rags, I suppose. In fact, it turns out that she was an orphan, which was living at the orphanage. From what I could gather, she had a loving family at one point, but they soon disappeared without a trace, and Misty never got a chance to get to know them, as they left her, with a few siblings when she was just a newborn.
Anyways, when Jack opened the door, he said gasped and said, “Why…you’re not that kid that comes in here and pokes around! Who are you!? What are you doing here and where is that kid!? I kind of miss him right now.”

Then Misty said, “Excuse me sir, but…may I ask if there was a colt that came here that goes by the name of Shadow?”

Then Jack said, “Yea, he’s my friend’s little brother that we don’t give a crap about. He came here not too long ago with a kid that apparently goes by the name of White. I believe if I guessed correctly, they went to Ponyville and some shit happened to them. I really don’t know, but it’s just a very easy guess to make. Why are you looking for them anyways?”

Then misty said, “Well…I don’t know how to explain it. I rather want to make friends with them, in fact, I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time, but I was too nervous to do so. Anyways, I will be on my way now. Sorry if I bothered you.”

Then Jack said while squinting at her, “Oh, you did you little bitch. Thinking you can come up to me and bother me like a little whore.”

Jack then closed the door on her face, to which Misty then proceeded to go on her ways to Ponyville and try to find Shadow and White. You can already tell where this is going, can’t you?

Well, while that was happening, shit was going down at Sugar Cube Corner. A little party was thrown for a filly that got her cutie mark not too long ago.

Most of the kids were from Ponyville, and when I mean by that, Shadow and White were the only kids or ponies for that matter that wasn’t from Ponyville, but somehow they knew how to blend in with the crowd. You want to know they did it, they act normal and not crazy like how every pony else does in Stalia.

Well, they were together, asking other fillies and colts, mostly fillies since the population of Ponyville of Mares result in…I’m not sure how to put it. Let’s just say that if you pair a pony dick with a pony pussy in the town, you would have three-hundred pony pussies without a pony dick to keep it company and filled.

That was a horrible dirty joke, but does have some sort of potential to be a good dirty joke. Anyways, Shadow and White kept asking around, but roughly, the replies that they got on average was, “Well, I was doing, whatever the fuck they were doing, and all of a fucking sudden, they got their cutie mark on their little tiny asses.”

That’s just to roughly sum up most of the answers, and yes, they did use, all of a sudden in their answer. God, I really want to put a bullet in their head, by doing it manually by pushing it in myself into their head.

Other answers that they got were that they had problems or they painted a picture on their asses, or something more disturbing. I don’t know, use your imagination, because your guess is as good as mine.

Well, Shadow and White were stumped…and apparently retarded, because they weren’t realizing that they had to wait until the right time they would get their cutie mark.

Well, they ended up being in a corner, while Applejack went up to both of them. She said, “Well, do you understand what you have to do to get your cutie mark now Shadow?”

Then Shadow said, “No, the kids were saying the same things about getting one unexpected.”

Then Applejack then gave herself a facehoof, because she couldn’t believe how retarded that they were. I mean, they were not getting the message through their retarded skull.

After Applejack finished punching herself in the face…very lightly I might add, so it wasn’t a punch, but a facehoof, she said, “Well, I suppose you two don’t want to stick around for the cake then. I guess you two should start to head out back on home in Stalia before it gets dark. I don’t want you two getting stuck in the Everfree Forest, for who knows what may lurk in those scary woods.”

Then White said, “Well, I suppose we should.”

Then both of them was about to get up, until Applejack said, “Well, hold on just a minute. Before you two leave, I would like Shadow to meet his cousin Applebloom. I’ll go find her so both of you can say hi to one another.”

Then she walked away to go find her, which she was with her friends, still trying to find a way to get their cutie marks.
After she left, Diamond Terri spotted both of them, that they were blank flanks. Diamond said to her friend, “Look at those two blank flanks at a party like this. This party isn’t for them at all!”

Then her friend, who the name will not be mentioned, for she is a bitch, “Yea, what do they think they’re doing here for a party for only those who have cute marks. Although, we can push them around and call them names since they are blank flanks. Don’t you agree?”

Then Diamond said, “I like your thinking. We shouldn’t let them go to waste.”

Then those two little whores walked up to them. When they did, Shadow saw them. When he did, he said to white, “They look like bullies. I don’t know why, but those evil grins on their faces is giving it away to me. Maybe we should go and wait outside for Applejack.”

They then got up, but before they could move an inch, Diamond walked up to them and she said, “Well, what do we have here Silver Spoon?”

Then her friend said, and yes, , even if she said it, I won’t say it, “Well, it looks like we have a couple of blank flanks to me. It also looks like they’re new around here.”

Then Diamond said, “Well then, I suppose they are new in town. Where did you come from, Lamesville?”

Then Shadow said, “Well…we come from the town of Stalia, not too far from Ponyville. We live there, so, we’re not new here at all.”

Then Diamond said, “Oh, so you do live in Lamesville, where everything is lame and boring. It’s like a one mule town I suppose.”

That last sentence…I don’t know…but I think it means something. Anyways, then Shadow said, “Well, not really. I mean. We do have the Elements of Protection. I mean, they did go into the Everfree Forest where they escaped from a falling cliff, made trees walk, had a menticore and a rock mate to make a moon crab, went to the moon, persuaded a gay sea serpent to kill someone and still everything that he owns.

They also went on an adventure where one of them went to a world called Inception, had a quick adventure with giant robots. They even defeated Princess Celestia’s evil clone that she never told anypony else about except for her pupil and the town of Stalia. They also killed some ponies, a pony name TK went through the woods and found a forgotten town that had infected ponies in it that could kill any pony with a single bite. They also had a monster attack the town, a pony named Derpy Hooves stuffed muffins up her butt, a pony named Doctor Whooves that travels to different worlds came for a visit.

'Then a Griffin guy that was a bully like you two came but I believe Knight made him disappear, or killed him anyways, a party was thrown but no one can remember it. Then there a User Major was skilled with an explosion and the child of that Major ate it, a dragon almost took over the town but was soon killed, a pony named dark almost killed everypony.
Then there was a night where the mafia almost kill two ponies. Then my brother and his friends almost killed a zebra, and my brother and his friends had a hangover adventure. Then the town got attacked by Paraprites, which were killed what Neon calls Predators, which they also took over the town, but then they were killed, because Knight and Neon went to Planet Random.

So, no pony remembers it, but Neon did destroy the universe and re-made it. Then there was a war between the Everfree forest animals and the town on Winter Wrap up day, and a pony from the town saved Princess Twilight Sparkle and defeated a giant pony.”

Then Diamond said, “Like I said, a lame town that no one will even notice its existence.”

What a bitch, may I add? Well, then Shadowed said, “Really, because I thought that was interesting. Then again, I guess Ponyville just has different tastes then what we’re used to then.”

Then Diamond said once more, “Like I said, Lameville. You two will never be cool like us, and you will always will be a blank flank, no matter what you do.”

Then Misty Midnight busted through the door, to which she said, “Hey, you two leave them alone.”

Then Silver Spoon looked at her, and she said, “I see we have another blank flank, and an orphan as well. Let me guess where you live, in a cardboard box?”

Then Misty was actually weak, in fact, she was afraid of them just a tiny bit, but she needed to pretend that she could stand up to them in a way. Well, she shrugged off the feeling of fear, went up to them, and said, “The only reason why you two are bullying them is because you have cutie marks and not them. You need someone to make fun of that does not have what you have, so you feed off that, instead of just being happy that you have a cutie mark.

'A day will come when your kind will parish from this world, and when that happens, you will be sorry that you had said any of this in your past. You will beg for forgiveness, but you know it in your heart that the light will not forgive those who were blinded by the darkness that occupies their soul and were aware of it, and tried nothing to resist and you pursue its path to darkness.

'So then you will try to fight back, but you know it is very true that the light cannot be extinguish, for you have walked between worlds of heaven and earth, and you only know that the only path is the road of forgotten dreams and of memories past.

'You will ride the path of loneliness, not knowing what you have done, but only because you needed someone to feed off, so you can feel power. But then you would have learned a lesson, that all great ponies will one day fall into oblivion, and will be forgotten by time and its forever glory to withstand anything that it comes in its path of ticking down to the final seconds of life.

'And when the final tick has been made, all life, will be truly forgotten, for it would have never existed at all, but all that of it remains is the light, for the light can never die out, and will forever withstand, without the support of time on its side.
So do what you want to do, both of you, but know that one day, you will fall, and wonder what went wrong with your life, look upon your past, and think of what you have done.

'Then, you will realize that being alive, as a pony, living, breathing, walking, and talking, is a curse. A curse of life, that cannot be undone, not even by god herself can undo the curse of life. For life is a torture, for we feel and die, and feel pain, and we wonder, why?

'So, when the day comes when you two fall, be prepared for the worst to come to you both.”

I am so shocked that the speech that Misty Midnight had made was…weird.

Then at the same time, it sounds cool, because it sounds like a philosophy, even though it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. However, it still sounds cool and it makes you feel like you are smart.

Anyways, after Misty finished what she was saying, everypony stood silent within the room. Even the Cakes were stunned by what Misty had said, for it was not normal for a normal filly to say such a thing. Fuck it man, not even Twilight could come up with that kind of brilliance right there.

I mean, what she said right there was like…legit, and possibly, I’m high because I just said the word legit. Anyways, after the room went silent for a bit, a pony started to clap with his hooves together.

Then another pony started to do the same thing, along a few more, to which it then became a chain reaction where everypony was applauding Misty for her speech.

Then I swear to you that an orchestra was playing in the background, while a black guy pony, also known as the native zebrea, walked up to her and said, “You know what kid…you have guts. You did what no pony could in this time of need, and you did it. At first you had me worried that you couldn’t believe in yourself to do such a thing, but I am proud of you. Because on this day, a day that will forever live long within our hearts, that you, Misty Midnight, have made a speech so powerful that no one can remember it. You are a rare type of pony to come by, because most ponies will not go by a day in their life where they don’t stop and think why they have wasted such great opportunities that had went and gone by in their lives. You, area one of a kind, and you deserve it.”

Then Misty said to the black guy pony, “Who are you? I don’t even know what you’re talking about. I mean, have we met before? What is going on here? I’m starting to get scared.”

Then the black guy pony said, “Don’t be scared kid, I’m right here. Besides, there is nothing to fear while you have good on your side. However, if you’re still afraid, it’ll be ok….I’ll keep you nice and safe from harm’s way.”

Then the black guy pony slowly moved his hooves to Misty’s, grabbed it, and out her hooves on his black guy pony dick. When he did so, Misty noticed, by had a confused look on her face, for she had not come across this type of situation before in her life.

Then Chris Hanson, if he was a pony and two old timey prison guards were right behind him. Chris said, “Hello black guy…why don’t you take a seat…right over there. Come on…let’s talk…and break the fourth wall.”

Then the two old timey prison guards said,

“Hey, get away from that little girl you black son of a bitch! You’re going back to the Green Mile and you’re going to stay there until you die boy!”

Then the black guy pony said, “Well, it was nice meeting you kid, by I’ve got to run. Perhaps I can rape you later in your sleep, then another black guy pony like me will make an auto tune song about hiding your wives and kids because a rapist is in town.”

Then the black guy pony jumped from the window, along with the two old timey prison guards.

However, Chris Hanson was still there, and he said, “Well, I need to make someone feel bad and commit suicide. Diamond Terri and Silver Spoon. You seem to like to bully kids who do not have a cutie mark on their ass. Why don’t you take a seat, right over there? Come on…don’t be shy, I promise this will go up on Dateline in the newspaper, while News Press writes down our interview.”

Then News Press was right here and he said to the two little bitchs, in a really fast talkative voice that sounds like it belongs in the 1920’s, “Come on kids, let’s do an interview. Come on, I’ll promise you this will make you a celebrity, and I will take you beyond the stars. Come on, you’ll go to a place where nopony has gone before, and you’ll be famous. That and I can guarantee you some cocaine while I’m at it and a bit of weed to calm the down the edge just a bit.”

Then Diamond said, “That is cocaine?”

Then Silver Spoon said, “It’s possibly something that lame ponies do when they don’t have a cutie mark.”

Then News Press said after he did a blow of crack, with wide pupils in his eyes, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! That was a fresh wakeup call kids. I will tell you that was the best energy I had in weeks. But it appears that I’m out of cocaine. Know what, I’m going to kidnap you two kids and sell you for crack.”

Then News Press took Diamond and Silver to sell them for crack, while they were kicking and begging to be let go, while Chris said, “Wait! I just want to talk to you News Press about your addiction! Come on, why don’t you have a seat right over here!?!”

Then they left for the day. When they left, everypony just went back to their usual party and pretended as if it never happened. Dam, Ponyville is quite a smart town to live, I must admit.

I mean, that’s what I do when Neon does shit, except no one notices. Anyways, then Shadow walked up to Misty and he said, “Thanks for trying to stand up for us…um…”

Then she said, “Misty…Misty Midnight is the name.”

Shadow then looked at her with…ok eyes…but then said, “Well then, why did you exactly come here anyways?”

Then Misty said, “Well, I was actually looking for you.”

Then Shadow asked, “Why were you looking for me? No one ever looks for me, not even if I get lost in the Everfree Forest, not even my big brother Mac would go look for me. Instead, he will just tell me to go fuck myself and fight a bear because he’s usually is drunk most of the time. Mostly at night because of Applejack.”

Then Misty said, “Well, I’ve been watching you Shadow…from afar. I’ve been wanting to come up to you and hang out with you and be friends, but I was…too nervous to do so. I’m sorry if I bothered you and I’ll be fine if you say no.”

Then Shadow said, “Well, sure, we can be friends. I don’t mind that at all. I mean, you could have walked up to me anytime if you wanted to. Didn’t your parents tell you how to not be shy or something?”

Misty then stared blankly at Shadow for a moment or two, and then she said, “Well, you see, I never knew my parents. I have always been alone, although I think I have a brother or sister, but I’m not sure.

'Every time I look at the night sky, I always have a weird feeling inside me, as if my parents are watching me, protecting me. I’m not sure of it myself, but I believe my father is watching me the most, as if he was my guarding angle.

' I sometimes have dreams at night, or at least I think it is a dream, that I am atop a hill, that also appear to be some sort of cliff as well, looking down upon the little sleepy town of Stalia and Ponyville. I also look upon the town and look across to see Cantorlot.

'Every time I do so, I feel like there is something important, as if there was a connection that cannot be made by any normal pony. Then, as I am looking towards the north, I feel my father’s presence behind me.

'I recall that he would have a cloak on, as if he was hiding something from me. And when I go to turn around to see him, I can only see his moving mouth, for I cannot see his eyes.

'Sometimes I wonder, even if it is a dream, that even he doesn’t know what I look like. He then tells me to sit down and relax. I do what I am told to do, although I feel weird about, for I was never told to do anything for I never had any parents. After I sit down, my father tells me something…something important.

'He tells me…almost every night, that there will be a day, when one will rise, and will be a hero, but at the same time, he will be our end. One day, the fire will rise, it will save us all, it will also kill us all, and he says that there will be nothing to stop it from coming.

'My father also told me, that even when we get to heaven, we will still not be safe from the threat, for he will have died as well, and have his soul also reach heaven’s gates…upon the clouds that all hope to one day go after their soul passes.
He also said to me, that the one, who will bring this, will also say he would be sorry, and wishes for nothing like what he has caused to ever have happened. He will even say it was a curse.

'He even said that he will also fix the problem, but he never told me with what. After he tells me that, he tells me that I have a reason why I am still alive, and why he isn’t.

'He tells me the day will come when I will know, even if I am unaware of it. Then, to end it, he taught me a song and we play it every night together, as I enjoy most of it, because I feel safe with my father.

'We call it, “Will the bad luck ever be finished.”

'I’m not sure what it means, but I enjoy singing it. My father says that I have a beautiful singing voice as well. I do sometimes wish he was still alive, so we could…be a family once more.

'But he says it wouldn’t matter if he was still alive, because as he said to me every night, that we will all fall…we will all fall in paradise…and there’s nothing we can do to stop the prophecy from happening.

'He even said to me that he has seen it happened, that a unicorn, of a blue coat color…and a hat black as night…will be our demise. He says that, heaven will become a battleground, for those who seek revenge and power.

'He says that heaven’s sky will no longer be bright and heavenly as it always is every day, but of an evil red sky, as if dawn has just appeared before our eyes. He even says that god…herself…will even be lost.

'Even the one that has caused all of it, would be hiding…in a dark place…looking upon a small ball of light…that can save heaven and everypony else from death…but he sits there…looking upon it with fear…as he forever is cursed unless everything is fixed to what is meant to be.

'That is what my father says, that what he says what the future holds, and we cannot do a single thing about it. He says there is much more, but he rather protects me from the horrors he has seen.

'As for my mother, I never saw her, face to face. However, my father has always told me, that she was the most beautiful mare he has ever laid upon with his own eyes.

' I believe his words that he says, and he also says that my mother loved me very much, but was sadden that she never even got to see me even after she gave birth to me.

'My father says her spirit lies in heaven, along with the other good souls who have done nothing wrong. He too was also meant to be up there with her, but he refused to go, and escaped the judgment room, for he had unfinished business to attend to.

'However, he promised my mother that he would look after my siblings and me. He says that one day I will meet them, when the time is right, but for now, all I do is wait.

'And to be honest with you, waiting, is the most painful thing that a living thing could endure, for if we wait, we wait for the good and bad to come, but really, we’re waiting for whatever comes our way.

'My father told me this one night, and said even god knows this is true, because even she has been waiting, for the one that did not come, and she still waits in the room. He never told me specifically, however, he says that in time, I will know the truth, and with patients, the one that did not come, will know soon enough as well.

'Although, he did say to me, that every night, she stands in a room, that was prepared for his coming, under the moon light, and cry, for he did not come. She still waits, and sometimes believes that he will come one day, while other times, she believes she does not want to lie to herself, for he will never come.

'She even believes that the universe did this to her, as a sign, to stop. However, other than that, my father never told me anything else, except god is waiting, and it brings her pain to her heart, as she waits for the one that did not come.

'Waiting is a terrible thing, for our souls…will never experience true happiness. It will even sometimes be alone, as like a wolf…a lone wolf…as if it feels like it is forgotten. My father also had said to me this, and he knows it when he once breathed life in days past.

'He told me a story, right before that I went to bed one night, that he met a pony. He said he was the nicest stallion anyone could meet, or have as a friend.

'However, he told me that he committed suicide one night, for he realized that no one truly cares about him. He told me that the stallion wanted to be an author, and write stories for a living.

'In fact, there was a service, where he could write a story, and put it on a shelve, to which publishing companies would come along and choose those stories that they saw a profit they could make off of the book.

'Some were serious, while others only did so for fun. However, in between publishing companies looking through stories made by other pones, some ponies could read others, and even help one another out.

'Well, the stallion I was told of, one day had eleven stories written, and awaited for somepony to come by and look at his hard work. He soon learned that no one, too little like his work. Especially a book that he held dear to his fragile and saddened heart of tears and forgotten and broken dreams.

' It was a book that he had his heart set on writing, which was to be the longest book that anypony has ever seen before their eyes. He had planned it, for months that it would have the correct balance of comedy and adventure in it, and it would not be drawn out.

'In fact, my father told me that it was supposed to be different, instead of the usual stories we read every day in our lives, and would not rely on big descriptive words, for he saw that as a problem, for it should be simple and not complex.

'He had also written it in first person, and made the character act how he would act if he was in real life, and write his story out on his own personality.

'He wrote like that, instead of just being as if it might have been written in third person. He even pushed the limits of comedy and showed no fear in it. He even made the characters likeable and funny, and not too obvious.

'He even thought that he got the idea one day, and thought it was a blessing from god herself. However, than when others read it, they criticized it. Only but one stood and saw what he was doing.

'He tried and tried to explain, but nothing could get through their thick skulls of “stupidity” and blinded souls. He tried, but he was kept being put down. He could not make them understand what he was trying to do.

'Others did not even give it a chance, and simply said change everything. However, he did not listen to them, for he had worked hard, and did not want to change a single thing to it.

' Perhaps to add a bit more things or change a few lines of dialogue, but nothing to make a sweeping change. Others say it was too long for a book and should be shorten, for they did not see what his plans were.

'Others said he was mad, and did not make any sense. My father told me he read it, and he said it was brilliant, but was sadden due to the fact that he and the few only saw what it was meant to be than the standard book.

'My father even told me that the book had even a bit of mystery to it, as in a mystery that the reader would have to form their own theories, based on what clues they were given throughout the story. Then, when the moment was right, it would have been revealed, with great patient of course.

'Others, would not tell the answer, and let the reader believe what they want to believe. My father even told me of an ending that he had to make up his own decision, that it was mind boggling to think of happening in the story.

'However, he kept pushing through the fire and flames, but one day…he could not take it anymore. He told me, that he questioned, if what god gave him was a gift, or a curse.

' It had brought nothing but hatred to him and the story and made him feel jealousy towards those who do succeed, but was afraid to admit it, but had made him happy and a friend.

'He kept going back and forth, and it was a war to him. His brain told him it was a curse, while his heart said it was a gift.

'Soon, he could not take it any longer. So, on a moonless night, under the stars, he took a pill, that would make him sleep for all of eternity, so he would no longer have to live with the pain.

'My father told me that on the day of his funeral, that no one attended but the one friend he had made, and himself. Not even his family came to see him in his coffin, nor the ponies he was nice to everyday and put a smile on their faces. Not even the ponies that hated his story.

'Instead, those who disliked his workand simply spat on his grave. They even danced on it with joy that he was dead, and said he deserved it, for writing a mockery. They even vandalized his tomb, so his soul will never truly be in peace in heaven.
Others…however…did not even care or noticed that he was dead. In fact, others encouraged him to just commit suicide, so he could leave them be and do everypony a favor, even though they knew of any of the guards of Equestria were to find out about what they said, they would pay the price for it, for it was against Equestrian law to do so.

'My father told me he was saddened by it, and saw nothing good out of those were blinded by greed and ignorance. Sometimes, he tells me that he is glad that he is dead, for he does not have to suffer like he is abandoned, like the story he told me of one night before I went to bed.

'He even told me it is a lesson to learn from, but a lesson that will never be learned, for no one will listen to reason. As for anything else that you might want to know, I do not sleep in the orphanage.

'Not one bit, but I sleep under a bridge, in a cardboard box at night. I am told that there is simply no more room for me to sleep at night, but enough room during Celestia’s morning to come and eat a little something, so I won’t starve to death and be left to be eaten by the hungry rats for dinner early in the morning.

'However, as I said, I have been watching you from afar, and I’ve always wanted a friend to be with and hang out, for I am mostly lonely, other than my father at night.”

What the Fuck?....I don’t even understand why she even said that, but ok then, whatever makes the crazy little bitch be happy.

Anyways, Shadow and White then stared at Misty for a good long minute, until White said, “Nice story bro…”

Then Shadow and White decided to shrug it off, as if they didn’t hear what she had to say, which made Misty a bit sad, but happy to know that she at least has some friends that she can hang out with.

Then, Shadow said, “Well, we better get on our way back to Stalia before it gets dark.”

Then the gang was on their way out, until Applejack stopped them and she said, “Whoa, where do you think you’re going Shadow. You almost left without saying hi to your cousin Applebloom.”

Then, Applebloom emerged, and yes, I said another fancy word. My god, you all must be panicking right now, hiding your wife and kids and your apocalypse basement, because I said a fancy word that you all expected out of me to say.

I hope I didn’t make anyone faint and crash their car or something, because it was just a fucking word. Anyways, Applebloom then emerged behind of her big sister Applejack, along with her friends, Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo, or however you decide to spell that whore’s name.

Listen, I’m pretty sure that’s all what we’re thinking right now, that she is a whore, but no one had the exact balls to say it. Well…I said it, and now the deed is done. And yes, I said the word deed, so I’m guessing World War three has started already because of it.

Then again, maybe that’s just me thinking that whore is a whore. Whatever, she’s a whore for not odd reason at all.

Anyways, after the CMC came out, Applebloom said, “Well it’s nice to meet you cousin! How have you been?”

Then Shadow said, “Well…I’m doing fine. Me and my friends have to go, before it gets dark.”

Then Applebloom took a look at Shadow friend’s, White and Misty, when he said the word friend. Then Applebloom noticed that none of them has their cutie marks.

When she saw that, she gasped in surprised, and almost a million things went rushing through her head at once. Then, she said, “Could you excuse me for a moment real quick.”

Then her and her friends huddled up and she whispered to them, “Guess what, I noticed that none of them have their cutie marks.”

Then Sweetiebelle asked, “So, what does that mean?”

Then Scootaloo or whore said, “It means that we have more members for our organization. This is perfect! Should we tell them now or later?”

Then Applebloom said, “Now.”

Then they broke the circle apart and Applebloom turned her attention to Shadow. She said to him, “Would you like you and your friends want to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

Then White asked, “The cutie what fuck?”

Then shadow just stared at him and he said, “Well, I did learn the word from my big brother Mac.”

Of course he would learn from him, then again, at this point, in time, I obviously did not care. Hold on for one moment before I continue.

Now, I have said that I do not care at times, while I also say that they are also cool to hang out with sometimes. Well, I should mention, that was a lie...well, sort of but not really. It only rings true when after a certain moment happened

Let me explain before anyone gets confused and starts a riot and starts a war in the country of Chad. I'm pretty sure those guys down there care about this stuff. You see, when Twilight was sent to Ponyville, she was sent there because she might have been a good student and studied well, but in Celestia’s eyes, she saw that Twilight only had one thing incomplete, and that was friendship.

Hold on, if I’m going to explain this, I want to have the correct music to go along with this.

Anyways, she was then sent there to learn about the magic of friendship, and study it have life lessons and morals learned and taught to her. In fact, she was moved up to the next level to her studies, and we all know the unfortunate event that came out to be, which is becoming an Alicorn.

The one true horror of them all, yes, I know. I am scared as well, but it’s ok, you’re safe here with me and the story.

Ok, maybe not so much, but you get the general idea of the joke. Anyways, Twilight was to learn about friendship. Well, the same thing happened to me, because Celestia saw in her eyes that I needed friends, instead of a fucking talking, trolling, sex addict, more like family member, Timber wolf.

Well, I have two words for her, “Screw Friendship.” At least at first

You see, in my eyes at the time, it didn't matter if you have friendship or not. Sometimes, if you’re good enough, you’re good without it, depending on who you’re are.

However, if it is a teamwork thing, then all you need to do is get the job done, move on with life, and not make friends.

Besides, I didn’t even wanted this to happen to me. I’m just doing it, because the universe is making me do such a thing. I mean, at the time, I was right. I had lost a lot of time, lost a friend, and was forced into this situation that I couldn't control and my only option being that I had to roll along with it.

At times, they were all together, like family, and we worked together and hanged out together. However, at times, I recall that at times, when it was just me and one of them, they say 'Screw the other guys. We don’t need them. It’s just you and me, against the world.' At least...that's what it felt like to me in my mind.

While at other times, it felt like we couldn't get along and weren't friends.

However, at times, I would usually hear this from Arrell as well, “Listen, guys, we’re all friends. We need to work together, to make this right. No matter what happened, we’re always friends, we’re like family. We look out for one another. And that’s the only thing that matters…that we’re friends.”

It's a weird relationship to say the least, and at the time I just didn't get it.

Even though I’m only here to do what the Universe wants me to do, doesn’t mean I’m going to stick around when it’s over. I mean, at the time, I just wanted to get it over with, so I can go back what I was trying to do in the first place, with TK and Factory Dash.

But as time went on, I learned to love the guys, it just took me a while. Just not in a gay way was all. In a way, they grow on you the more you spend with them. And the best part of it all, while at times it felt like we were apart, they also felt like you could rely on them, loyal as a group, yet broken like a nut...what?

So really, we’re almost the complete opposite of The Elements of Harmony. I mean, it makes sense. We’re male, while they’re female. However, for one thing, we’re a bit more adult relatable type of style, we curse, we steal sometimes.
We even drink beer and try to have a good time sometimes. Fuck it man, we don’t even try to learn anything about friendship at all, but instead just go on crazy and sometimes random adventures, that involves killing as well as other dangers that the Elements of Harmony could never stand up to..

Hell, one time we tried to rob a bank once and...well...that's a story for another time I suppose. But the point is, while the Elements of harmony cherish friendship and love and harmony and all that hippy dippy crap, we were the opposite and we did what we felt like was wrong. But intentional, maybe not intentional, but really we were on our own paths as a group and did what we did, sometimes without questioning it at all.

In fact, I feel like if it was a pun or something, and I never laugh at puns. I feel like laughing a little bit right now whenever I think about it. It doesn't make sense, yet the less I think about it, the more it feels like one big, joke, that was meant for a few ones off and then thrown to the wolves. ha ha ha...HA HA HA...oh I'm going insane the more I try to make sense of it all, so I should stop...but still...

It's just that I never saw that at the time and it irked me so to be with the them all. But that was at the time. Nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes we hanged out, sometimes we didn’t, yet the more we spent time together, the closer we felt together. Just not in a gay way, but in a homie of the hood kind of way.

I’m even willing to bet that my friends wouldn't be willing to betray me, and too be quite honest with you, I would do the same thing myself and be by their sides together as one, fight side by side, us against the world. But that's what I felt anyways. In reality's sake, I'm not sure how it looked like, even when looking back on it. And while at time we may have been assholes to one another, we were still a team, a group of friends with different outlooks and feelings, yet together in harmony, ready to face whatever was thrown at us. But that took sometime for me to comprehend at what I had...

Well that's enough rambling for one day I suppose. I'm not a rambling man after all...wink...

Anyways, once that lie is cleared up and out of the way, we can continue with the story here. That was fast... Anyways, as I was saying before, Applebloom explained, “Well, the Cutie Mark Crusaders is an organization that we all started, to help others to get their cutie mark and never stop trying. So…would you like to join our group. We can’t get you in the group right away, but maybe you could be the Cutie Mark Crusaders of stalia.”

Then Scootaloo popped out or whore that is said, “Yea, you could even help spread the word around the town and expand. So…what do you say!”

Then Shadow said, “Yeah, that sounds like an awesome idea! We could help out and we can all try to get our cutie marks! Besides, we don’t mind helping out.”

Then Applebloom said, “That’s terrific! Well, I’ve got to go now, but we can talk about it more later. Well, bye cousin.”

Then Applebloom and her friends went off into the sunset, doing the shit that they were doing…whatever it was. I feel like an Indiana Jones moment should be there for some odd reason. Anyways, the CMC of Stalia, or in other words, CMCS went off to get back home before it got dark.

Although they kind of got lost in the Everfree Forest in the dark, but some nice friendly Timber wolves, the same Timber wolves that raped Zecroa that one time if you recall, helped them out. What nice rapists they are, you know that?

Anyways, they then went into Shadow’s home, and went to the living room while Shadow’s dad was still not alive…I think he was alive or not.

Well, they then sat down and started to discuss what had happened that day, and I even recall Misty even having a slightest smile on her face, because for once, she had friends.

However, it did not mean that she could escape the fact that she is still an orphan for life at this point in time. And of course, that’s when Mac came in and asked what the fuck was going on.

However, Mac then said, “Well, I guess it’s ok, but you two little shits get the fuck out. It’s time for me to throw empty bottles at Shadow’s head.”

White and Misty then got out, and went on their back home. White of course broke into Jack’s house, so at least he had somewhere to sleep for the night.

As for Misty however, he was approached by Neon. Well, moments, later, I’m on my couch, smoking some shitty ass weed that I made myself. Well, I heard a knock on my door, which I said, “Hold the fuck up, I’m fucking coming!”

I then mumbled to myself, “Jesus fucking Christ.”

I said it because I was really tired and annoyed from the quick little adventure I just had with Mac not too long ago, so you could tell I was not in the mood to talk at the time.

Well, I opened up the door, and Neon pounced on me and he said, “Hey Knight! Do you want to go and hang out with Craig McCracken tonight!?”

Then I said, “Neon, Fuck…no.”

Then Neon said, “Well, how about inviting Misty Midnight to come in for a bit.”

I then saw who neon was talking about, as she was standing in the middle of my doorway. I then pushed Neon aside and said, “Well, I suppose I can keep the swearing down just a bit and not smoke weed for a while. Come in, I suppose, just don’t mess with anything, ok?”

Then Misty shook her head, and she made herself a nice comfortable spot on my couch. And it was also my favorite spot on the couch, so to me, she was a little bitch at the time to me. Well, I then asked Neon, “Why the fuck did you bring her over? Are you trying to screw around with my head again?”

Then Neon said, “Nope, but I did fuck around with your stomach, so you should be throwing up a giant squid any moment now.”

I then said, “What the fuck are you even talking ab…”

I then opened my mouth…and a giant ass squid came out of my mouth. After somehow he got out of my mouth, he said, “Well then…this is embarrassing. I was supposed to me my friend Ron here. Have you seen him around lately? He supposed to have eaten Johanna or something.”

Then that dead whale I mentioned came through my door way and he said, “Oh hey Phil, how’s it going?”

Then the giant squid, or apparently Phil, said, “Nothing much, you want to go back in the ocean?”

Then Ron said, “Fuck…yes. I mean, no offense here Knight, but this place isn’t really a place for a sea creature to live…you know? It really should be more aquatic creature friendly. I suggest putting lots of water and a shitload of fish. Maybe even put in some plant life here and there and some light would do some good. Fuck it, I think you really need to put a great white shark in here as well, you know, to brighten up the place. And of course some females, so we can rape them of course, as all male whale and giant squids rape females. Well, other than that, you have a good one then.”

They then left by jumping through a portal and went back home. I then decided to pretend that didn’t happened, even though it did, and let Neon continue to talk.

He said, “Anyways, I thought maybe you wanted to talk a little bit with Misty.”

I then said, “Fine, might as well then since she’s here.”

I then went into the living room, along with Neon, and found that Misty already started a fire in the fire place, and sat around it to keep warm. I then said, “I have a fire place? How come I don’t know these nice things that I have in my house?”

I then shrugged it off and decided to sit by Misty, while Neon sat on the opposite side of me as well. I then stared at the fire for a bit, and asked Misty, “So, could I ask how do you know to start a fire?”

Then Misty didn’t look at me when she answered me, so she was a rude bitch for doing so, and she said, “Well…I know how to so I can survive. I am an orphan and I usually make a fire every night to keep warm while I’m sleeping either on or inside a card board box, that is under a bridge at night. Sometimes I get to eat a nice warm meal down at the orphanage, but they don’t have enough beds for me to sleep in at night.”

I then stared at her, thinking how depressed this was right now. I mean, she was alone and it’s like if she was always sad. Then again I wasn’t going to adopt her. Sure I felt bad, but let me say it again.

I am not the best role model for children, nor can I barley raise a child or a pet. So there is no way she can be adopted and be my adopted daughter. Besides, it would be kind of awkward, since she is a Pegasus, and I’m a unicorn, so I couldn’t teach her how to fly or anything.

Unless of course I had a wife that was a Pegasus, or knew someone that would give a fuck about her, then sure, maybe, but right now, nope. So, I decided to change the subject and said, “Hey, why don’t we sing a little song?”

Well, it was better than to talk about the depressing shit. Misty said sure and she said she knew a song. Well, Neon also gave her his guitar to play, and strangely enough, she knew how to play one. She than started to play, and she played a song that she called, “Will the bad luck ever finish.” The lyrics went more like this…

There are those who live in the glory,
Who are have luck that are often miss.
When you look upon your own story,
You hope that you join them in their bliss.
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.
In the joyous days of childhood,
Oft held the hopes of a bright future.
But only he shall rise to the heavens,
To make all who live in peace suffer.
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.
He remembers, the days of his youth,
Which he held dear, to his heart.
Can you let go, of those memories,
Or is this what you want?
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.
Can you picture your luck,
As in a path of a mountain.
And as you hope for greatness,
The path, goes dwindling down.
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.
One by one, they all died,
One by one, in the heavens.
The only chance of survival,
Is for him to hold the ball of light .
Will the bad luck ever finish,
By and by, by and by?
He will have one last chance,
In the sky, In the sky.

I was so surprised that she was able to play the acoustic song to Bioshock Infinite’s song, Will the circle ever be unbroken.
I was so surprised by that, but then again, maybe it is different to them and Neon didn’t have to do with any of the song’s melody.

Anyways, I have to admit, I feel weird about the song. I couldn’t exactly put my hoof on it, and I still can’t, why this song feels weird to me. I mean, I got Goosebumps, and it is if like it was telling of the future or something.

In fact, I also got a strange creepy thing from Neon while she was playing the song and singing her voice lie an angel.
While she was in the middle of the song, I looked over to Neon, and he smiled at me.

However, when I looked at him, he had a bit of an evil grin on his face, as he was looking back at me. He even waved a bit to me, and I thought I heard this noise in my ears, that only I could hear.

I wasn’t sure why I felt what I felt, but whatever it was, I hope it didn’t lead into any trouble. Anyways, I then shrugged that weird feeling off me, and I said, “Well then, can I say, that you have a voice of an angel.”

Then Misty Midnight said to me, “Thanks. Listen…I have to get going. I feel like going to sleep early tonight.”

She then gave the musical instrument back to Neon and she was on her way to home, or at least that what I was told. In all honesty, here, she went to the mountain like cliff like hill area, to meet with her father.

Her father was looking upon down the small towns of Stalia and Ponyville, with despair in his eyes. He then looked across towards Cantorlot Castle, and he said to himself, “That’s where the greats live at, while one of them lives in the small town. One of them should live at Cantorlot, and perhaps then, the prophecy will cease to exist.”

Then her father turned around to turn his attention towards his daughter, Misty Midnight, who was hearing what he was saying. Misty asked, “But…you said that we couldn’t do anything about the prophecy?”

Then her father said, “Yes, and we cannot. We are forced to live with the choices that are made by the one who will save us all, but will be our end in the heavens. However, that does not mean if one’s mind is changed, we can still prevent it.

However, it is all up to the one who can save us all, but will be our end one day. Where were you my child?”

Then Misty said, “I was at Knight’s house, Neon invited me over.”

Then her father eyed her as if it was a surprise to him. He then said to her, “Well than, tell me where Neon and Knight are at. I must speak to them, for they are important right now for the two us.”

Then Misty said, “They both live in the town of Stalia. One of them lives at The Party Store, while the other one lives in the town’s library.”

Then her Father said, “I will speak to them as soon as possible. However, for now, it is time my child. It is time for me to put you to bed little one. Come, I will make sure you’re safe at your home.”

Then her father walked his child to the bridge, where he proceeded to say good night to his little daughter who was still too young supposedly. While this was happening, way back after Misty left my house, I said to Neon, “Alright then, get out Neon. I want to smoke some more of my shitty ass weed.”

Then Neon said, “Jinx!”

Then he opened up a portal and he pushed me into it which I was back on Earth…again…to see Craig once more. While he did that, I said, “Neon, what the fuck!”

Anyways, I better stop it at here for now. Celestia’s sun is almost about to rise, and I’ve got to get this phoenix back to its owner before anypony notices it.

Next Time:
Knight: Well, I’m spending more time with my friends and getting to know Mickey Mouse a bit more. But we also do get into trouble, along with my friends also getting to know the Mane 6, which should be an interesting mix. What am I talking about, bad shit is going to go down, but yet my interest has been peaked.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Universal Magic: Episode 22: A Day with the Elements

UPDATE: Yeah...sorry for that ending dialogue from Misty. I thought back then it was alright..but now...ew... But I think I'm going to have to live with that mistake, I can't keep going back and changing and pulling a George Lucas you know?...

Wish I could fix all the cringe...but that's not how life works. Sometimes, you have to leave a little cringe behind...

So then, for those who do not know from my older readers before the second ban was placed on me, I would like to apologize for not being here. It is because I do not care anymore and do hate this site with a passion. Besides that, I have re-written Episode 1 a bit and re-wrote Episode 2, so by any means if you are interested in it, you can read it if you wish. I have also added previews for the next episode, such as the one you have just read, but for now it's only in episodes 1,2 and 3.5. Right now I am currently writting Episode 22, then after that I shall re-write Episode 3, Episode 23, and do any other edits from Episode 4, 6-20.5. As for Episode 5, that has plans to be re-written, but that is a different story and read the new descirption as it will explain everything. In fact, if you're wondering why all the comments have been deleted, it is not because I will delete any comments as I please, but the any comments that was before the second ban, so any comments, negative or postive will stay up from now on. As for any other question upon these changes, just read my blogs, for it is far too much to explain.

As for the new readers, if there are any, this does not concern you at all.

~TMG

HAPPY HEARTH WARMING EVERYPONY MY GIFT TO YOU...

And uhhhh...merry Christmas too I guess...you filthy animal...

The Jews Knows…ok whatever. So I’m guessing I’m doing this shit now huh? To be honest, I didn’t want to write this, but Wolf and I made a bet last night after we both took some really bad acid. And the bet was that whoever saw Winnie the pooh jerking off to foot porn while bugs bunny massages a person’s neck while in the bathroom in an uncomfortable manner has to do something that the other commands. Guess who saw Winnie the Pooh while jerking off to foot porn…this guy… I even managed to see some dark and trippy colors as well…saw that creepy Mickey Mouse doll up in the guest bedroom screaming the word nigger at a stick.

And that stick growing legs and saying, “Shhhhh…it’s alright baby…back in my day, we beat nappers with sticks. And that’s right baby…nappers, I fucked them every day.”

And then the stick would go back to being a stick. I then went into a dark, but yet calming place where I felt like I was floating through time and space. No worries, no fears. I was one with myself. I saw the stars, the planets, the galaxies, the ever expanding darkness of the universe. And then it all went to black and I ended up waking up on the coffee table.

And for a second I had thought I saw a chicken say to me, “What’s going on Nigga?”

But then I rubbed my eyes and…there was no chicken. I was like ‘what the fuck’? Where was the chicken? Was that chicken just part of my imagination? I don’t know. I keep getting this feeling, this weird feeling in the back of my head that the chicken is going to come back to me in the middle of the night and stare at me…with a knife and wait for me to be in a state of a deep sleep and then murder come towards my bed with that knife. And when I can’t feel anything, and it’ll cause the 5^th 9/11…I don’t know, I just get a feeling. Don’t trust the chicken that talks like a black guy.

Never trust the chicken. And now I think I know how Arrell feels. Well anyways, that was me. As for Wolf, I can’t see what everything goes on inside Wolf’s mind. I mean…I can open up portals, a window more or less, see what happened from my perspective and other people’s perspectives. I can maybe even see what goes on beyond the land of the living and depending and most of the time know what is being said in someone’s mind, with a slight hint of imagery. But the portals…they don’t work all the time like you think they would. It’s weird. It’s even weirder that I can somehow use the portals in that kind of way. It’s a weird combination of using my magic and outside of the universe…it’s complicated. But moving on, just know that Wolf’s mind in his acid state was untouchable for me to see. So Wolf told me what he “claimed” to see have seen.

He said to me that he saw Scooby Doo from the show A Pup Named Scooby Doo…and the he said everything got darker and darker for him as his heart rate rose up to a very high number that he could apparently feel…according to him. And then the theme song started to play and it ended up slowing down as the theme song started to repeat itself on an endless loop. And as the theme went on, it all got slower and darker as the pup named Scooby Doo started to just stare at him with a little smile. And to him, he got closer and closer to the pup without warning and with force by something that was behind him and against his own will.

And as he got closer, apparently a dark, deep, disembodied voice with a little bit of a booming tone to it said, “slowly dies on the inside due to painful memories of a pup named Scooby Doo...as the theme song slowly plays in the back of the mind, slowly eating away at the sanity that remains...as internal, confused screaming intensifies with every, passing second, wanting to be let out, yet no hope is coming, for the darkness slowly crawls into the mind of a human being, wanting to see the day of light, but the darkness of night forever more engulfs the world of the human mind, screaming for an answer from god, yet he never answers...”

And as soon as that string of sentences was over, it looped again just like the theme song, but instead of being slower, the words got faster and faster, and soon it was being said backwards. And as for Wolf, he couldn’t do anything but watch. He couldn’t close his eyes as the pup named Scooby Doo grabbed his eyelids…assuming wolves made out of wood have eye lids…well he does blink somehow so I guess he does, and held them up. And Wolf…Wolf watched in horror as he said he saw things that he cannot unsee. It is forever burned into his memory and that what he saw was something horrifying, nightmarishly terrifying.

Something that would make anyone sick to the core, just want to throw up by seeing it. But yet I have no clue what that thing even is as Wolf won’t say a word about it. You ask him, he will not say anything about it, not even a hint. And he even gets a little shaken up about it too. I think what he saw on that acid trip really got to him, and usually he doesn’t care too much most of the time. Those are only the words that he used to describe it to me. And...I think I believe him on it. Sometimes he likes to mess around with me, but…maybe he was correct. Well aside from that, he also saw the Nostalgia Critic and Lakra with hyper realistic eyes with blood coming out from it, but who gives a shit about that?

Anyways, that was our acid trip. I usually don’t take acid, in fact I’m not a huge fan of it, but it was a bet and that’s our thing…so why the hell not? But I lost and the thing that Wolf wanted me to do was while in the middle of telling what happened to me in the past, you know, the whole journal thing…he wants me to write down the little things as well. Those little moments, little forgetful, maybe funny moments with what happened to us in the past and such that no gives a crap about. Those little moments that don’t really matter, and really I rather not remember those moments. But I lost the bet and I’ve got nothing else better to do at the moment, so I guess I am obligated to do so. And with that being said, I guess I have to start writing down somewhat small, and insignificant events that happened in my past into this journal…fuck me and my life.

Sigh…I guess it isn’t the worse thing in the world. Well…where should I start then? The theatre?...no…not that…the stuff that happened with Ghost?...no we’re not at that part yet… Uhhh…the pillows? No…that was also Ghost…hmmm…me trying to find out what happened to the other ponies like Starlight…or Blueblood? No…I’ll save that for another time when I’m drunk off my ass. What could I write down…uhhh…wait…I’VE GOT IT!!! The time…when we talked about the Earth being flat…true story by the way. So where do I begin though with this…I know.

Ok so it was a nice morning on a brand new day, many, many, many years ago. Not that many years ago, but you get the point. And it was a bright and sunny day, a brand new, fresh day to start off with for most of the ponies living in the little…”little” town of Stalia. And I had just gotten up from my bed, went to the bathroom. I did my usual bathroom stuff that I do in the morning like brushing my teeth and the like. And then I went down, had a little bit of a headache. And I went downstairs to the kitchen because my eyes were hurting a bit, and I was a little bit groggy because I did some drinking the previous night and…well…let’s just say I was hammered.

A little bit of a hangover you could say, but not enough for me, Mac, and Jack to have done something. I was at the bar in town with the guys the previous night and came home and did some more drinking. That much I’ll say. And as I went down the steps, I found Wolf slumped over the couch, drunk out of his mind. But I brushed him off, went to the kitchen, and found some pills that came with the place when Wolf and I moved into the library. Yeah…it was already pre-packed with food and stuff, guess Celestia had prepared it for us at the time before she had me moved. Anyways, I took something that was called RinX basically their version of Aspirin.

I took two small pills, and decided to make some coffee, as that is sometimes the best way to get rid of a hangover. I didn’t say a word, and as I was making the coffee, Wolf woke up, and he had some shade on, crooked I mind you, on his face. And he too didn’t say a word either. He just got up from the couch, went to the fridge, and went to have his morning alcohol. And then my coffee was done, I put it in a disposable cup, and started to drink some as Wolf and I headed out the door. And yes, Wolf still had his shades on, while still being somewhat drunk.

And as we were walking towards the door to go outside, I said to him, “I hate the taste of fucking coffee.”

I had said it in a sort of miserable tone too…but my eyes were starting to get a bit better by that point, and I was feeling a tiny bit better, as expected.

And with Wolf’s response, he said to me, “Then take some medicine like I do then Knight. It’ll do wonders for you.”

And then as I was opening the door with my other free hoof, I then said to Wolf, “And that’s why I’m drinking coffee right now.”

And then I opened the door and the sunlight hit our eyes like a flash of blinding light. But afterwards, it was over as the light faded and we could see a better as our eyes adjusted. For Wolf, he flinched a little bit despite the shades, and for me, my eyes just had to adjust to the new brightness. And as we were walking out and I was closing the door behind us, we saw everyone out and about, having fun, with smiles on their faces. It seemed like a peaceful and busy day for some and fun for others.

And not too far from my home, were the guys playing a little game of Frisbee. Mac, Jack, and Arrell were standing in a big, spread out circle, with Forrest standing on the sidelines with a little smile, watching what was going on. And as for Neon, he was in the middle, catching a Frisbee in mid air with his mouth like a cat, but when he caught the Frisbee, he just landed on the ground on his hooves, spit out the disc, and let out a little screech. As for me, I’ve learned to stop questioning it, even though it was still weird and somewhere deep on the inside somewhere, I wanted to question it. But I couldn’t and just had to let it go. And so Wolf and I just walked over to them, and eventually they noticed us.

And Forrest was the first one to greet us and as he raised his right hoof and waved at us with a warm smile and said, “Hey guys! How’s it going!?”

I then said after taking a quick sip of bitter coffee, “Shut up Forrest.”

I had said it with a little scowling look, but after that, I immediately turned my head towards the other guys and said to them, “Hey guys.”

And Arrell, without turning his head towards me, as he had his back towards me while Jack and Mac was facing me, had said, “Heya Knight. Long night last night?”

And even though I hated them at the time somewhere on the inside, despite those feelings, I said to Arrell, “Ehh…could have been better.”

Forrest then spoke up and said, “But…I said hello first…”

And Jack just said in response, “Shut up faggot”

And Jack then looked over towards me and he then said to me, “Ehh…I’ve had worse Knight. But whatever.”

And Jack soon caught the Frisbee that Neon had spat out. And then Jack took the Frisbee, looked towards Mac, and threw it towards him, as high as he could, and soon Neon tried to jump up and bite it, but Mac ended up catching it instead, and then soon throwing it to Arrell.

I then questioned the guys, “So what is happening here?”

Arrell then said to me, “We’re just playing catch the Frisbee from Neon.”

And I asked them, “Why?”

And then Jack said, “Well we were supposed to be playing it with our pets and see who had the most non-pussy pet, but we entrusted our pets to Mac here and he ended up letting them loose. So we have no damn clue where they’re at.”

Mac then spoke up with a little anger in his voice and he said, “HEY! They were telling me they knew how to get into the secret base that Applejack is hiding somewhere. And when they get back, they’re going to tell me where that entrance is and we’ll go there together. And once we do, we’re going to have ourselves A FUCKING PAYDAY! There’s gold hidden in that secret base you hear!? And we’ll be rich…RICH I TELL YA! And Applejack will question where that gold went and she won’t know what hit her!”

But Forrest spoke up and said, “But…I miss my pet though…my pet hamster isn’t going to survive on his own out in the woods.”

Forrest started to have a little tear fall down his cheek as he made a little sniffle sound.

Mac then just responded with, “Stop being a wuss Forrest, your pet hamster will be fine. Hamsters can defend themselves when threaten and fight to the death. Everypony knows that, it’s common sense you big dummy.”

Forrest then said, “But…I just got that hamster from the pet store…I named him Mr. Fluffy…”

And Forrest still sounded sad when he had said that. And then Mac responded to Forrest with, “Don’t worry Forrest, if Mr. Fluffy dies and we find his body, we’ll avenge Mr. Fluffy together when we finally put Applejack down. I know she suspects us and our every move to take her and her empire down. BUT WE WON’T LET IT! RIGHT GUYS!?”

Mac had raised his left hoof up, trying to rally us all up for his “cause”. And after he had said that, he looked around, with a little bit of a hopeful smile on his face, waiting to see if anyone else was with him on the same page. But instead we just all stared at him…except for Neon who had the Frisbee in his hooves, but then had the Frisbee levitate in mid air for a few seconds, had it grew some eyeballs and started a starring contest. And Wolf was having his head in the clouds at that moment.

But still, we just stared at Mac. And after a few seconds of awkward silence, Mac just put his left hoof down and had his little hopeful smile disappear and have a little bit of an angry frown form upon his face.

And he then said under his breath, “One day, you’ll all see the mistake you chose this day. The day of reckoning is upon us all…”

But no one heard that and we just moved on with the conversation. And Jack then just said, “And so we kind of had nothing else to do with a Frisbee, so we’re just fucking around with Neon and told him it was his baby sister…we don’t get it either, trust us.”

And then Neon, as the Frisbee was still levitating in mid air with a pair of eyeballs, started to gouge out the eyeballs with a spork that he found…somewhere…and he said, “The Frisbee is the moooooooooooooooooooooooon.”

And then Jack said, “Ha…Frisbee is the moon. Reminds me of how the moon is fake.”

Jack had said it with a little smile, a little smirk more or less. But Jack’s comment didn’t make everyone smile other than maybe Forrest who didn’t seem to be bothered by Jack’s comments.

And of course as everyone else was staring at him, Jack had his little smirk disappear and then asked, “What are you assholes looking at?”

Arrell then gave a slight little chuckle and said, “I’m sorry, but clearly you’re the asshole here. You’re the one here believes that the moon isn’t real.”

Mac then looked at Jack and said, “Come on Jack, that’s a new low, even for Forrest.”

Forrest just sat there, as he was being bombarded with brash comments towards him, and said not a single word. He just knew in his mind that he didn’t say anything, but Yeah, he was still being ripped on.

But Mac continued to say to Jack, “I might believe that Applejack is evil, and she is, and everypony telling me no, she isn’t and it’s just the fact that I have social issues, even though that’s not true at all I tell ya. It’s not that, the voices in my head tell me so. But even I, Mac Farmer, believe in Luna’s great moon every night. It helps me fight the great evil that is Applejack when I pray to the moon and ask for its powers.”

Jack then said, “Come on guys, stop being stupid. Clearly the moon isn’t real. It’s just a way for the Alicorns to take control of us by installing fear into our minds that they are more powerful than us and that they can do whatever they want. It’s been clearly proven before that the Alicorns are just as powerful as any unicorn, and just made a hologram, so they can be in power and rule over us. And for that reason, we should not trust our own form of government…just saying...”

Arrell then refuted with, “Then explain how Alicorns can do all of these spells that unicorns can’t do, no offense Knight, and perform these spells…like making “holograms of the moon?”

And so Jack then said, “Hey, listen hear you son of a bitch. They just hid the spells somewhere so that nopony can ever find it. And the spells themselves is something any unicorn can do. I can do, Knight can do it. Even my little brother that I don’t like to acknowledge could do it too…assuming he existed.”

Mac then said to Jack, “NOW THAT’S JUST ABSURD! YOU’RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A FUCKING TRAITOR!”

Jack then got a little bit frustrated and had an angry face form on his face and looked towards Mac and said to him, “Oh you want to bring it on jackass!? You want to go a round or two for it!?”

Jack then raised his right hoof up, meaning he was ready to thrown down with Mac. And Mac just stood his ground, literally, as his hooves were firmly planted on the ground, with his teeth showing, meaning that he was a ready for a fight.

And a fight would have happened if it wasn’t for Forrest interrupting and said to the guys, “I think the moon is fake too.”

He had said it was a small smile. Not too big, but just as warm like his others.

And Jack just looked at him with a disappointed look on his face and he said to him, “Great, the faggot is the only one on my side.”

But Forrest then persisted, with a little disappointed look on his face and said to Jack, “But I do though Classy Jack. I really do. I genuinely believe that our form of government is a cover up so a secret, hidden government of even more powerful Alicorns can rule the entire pony race. And they are the ones pulling the strings and making us think that the moon and the sun are real and that the princesses are in power. And it was done to make us think that we’re still in control somehow while still being lazy and not have to worry about what laws are proposed and passed. I believe in a form of government where…”

Jack then cut off Forrest and said, “That’s greeeeeeeaaaaaat. Just fucking great.”

Jack then looked towards Neon and he then asked him while pointing his right hoof at him, “Neon, what do you think about the moon? Is it real or fake?”

Neon, that was then chewing on the eyeballs that grew on the Frisbee while holding the Frisbee in his hooves, and having a big smile on his face, as he said to Jack, “The moon is made out of the blood of my enemies. The Truths are lies. The lies are Truth. And we never landed on the moon. Neil Armstrong’s dead daughter Karen that died from cancer’s skull told me so last night while star gazing…”

And then after that response, no one was bothered by it and instead everyone just moved on. I did, but it’s just something you can’t fight…don’t fight Neon; it’ll just make your death go on longer. Don’t fight it. Just let Neon happen…shhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

So anyways, Arrell then said with a little bit of disgust in his tone, “Oh great, we’re outnumbered two to three.”

Arrell then turned his head towards me and he asked me, as Wolf just collapsed to the ground because he was drunk as usual, “Knight, what’s your stance on this? Do you think it’s a conspiracy or what?”

I then waited a few seconds before I gave my response. I thought about what was being talked about and honestly I didn’t really care if the moon was fake or not. By this point, does a governmental conspiracy about what is real even matter? I mean I was fucking a human being in the My Little Pony universe, and I’m going to question if the moon was fake or not?

But whatever, I had to give a response, so I then came up with what to say and I said to the guys, “I really don’t care about the moon. I think it’s real, but I really don’t care about this it. If anything, I’m more curious if the world is flat or not.”

And then after I had said that, I had to contemplate what I had just said, because in that moment I knew, I fucked up.

And so with that response, Arrell said, “If the world is flat? Clearly somepony didn’t go to school when they were young. Obviously the world isn’t flat.”

But then Jack spoke up and said, “Now wait just a minute, it’s not a farfetched idea that we’re living on a flat Earth.”

Arrell then said back to Jack, “Oh come on Jack, first you say you don’t believe in the moon, now you’re saying the Earth is flat? What’s next, you don’t believe in rainbows?”

Jack then said, “Well I would like to think the Elements of Harmony are trying to mind control us into thinking they’re special.”

Mac then quickly said, “I second that.”

Forrest then butted in and said, “I think the Earth is flat as well. I mean...I’ve been up there in the sky and I can never see the so called “curvature” of the Earth.”

Jack then looked towards Forrest with an annoyed, but mellowed out look on his face, “Forrest…stop agreeing with what I have to say. Your kind is not welcomed here…”

Neon then abruptly said, “The world is a ball!”

And then Neon, as usual with the regular smile, took out an annoying, talking orange, with the human looking eyeballs and mouth, and the orange said, “Hey Neon! Hey Neon! Why you’re gree…”

And then the orange was cut off as Neon took a big ol’ bite out of the orange’s face, but instead of an orange, it was blood, organs, and some pieces of a brain, as the orange screamed out in bloody terror as it was being eaten alive by Neon. But the rest of the guys ignored that, like usual, and we carried on with the conversation that we were having. Although I think that Neon is on the side that the Earth is round judging from that comment, but by this point, who knows.

Anyway, I then said, “ I just don’t think the Earth is round you know? I mean, if the Earth was round, then how does the sun and moon work then? Does that mean on the other side, the two princesses control the time of day for them? I mean if the earth was round, then how come the sun moves around us then? Shouldn’t we be moving around the sun with Celestia not having the power to control it in the first place? The moon maybe, but not the sun.

'But if Celestia can really, truly move the sun, then that would mean the sun and the moon revolves around us, we don’t revolve around the sun. Also, if the sun can be moved, then that means the sun has to go somewhere, and with space, it can only go so far while still being in range of Celestia controlling it. So that means it has to go under the earth. And if the earth was round, then that would mean that the sun rises when we get our moon, and I don’t think that really happens. It just goes underneath while Luna raises the moon, and vice versa.”

Jack then said with a confused look on his face, “Uhhh…I was thinking that the two princesses was trying to control us and make us think we’re living on a round planet but uhhhh…that works too I guess.”

Forrest then said, “I think that makes sense.”

He had said it was a slight smile as well. As if he was happy that I put in my two cents or something of the like.

But Arrell then looked like he was fed up with what I was saying and he said, as he raised one of his hooves in the air and waved in around in motion, “Oh come on!”

Arrell then looked towards Mac and he then quickly asked, “Mac, please tell me you don’t believe in a flat earth.”

And Mac then had a thinking look on his face as he said, “Uhhh…well…I don’t know much about math. My Pa and Ma never really sent me to a school to do that fancy science shit. But uhhh…I guess I do.”

Mac then thought about something for a few more seconds as he put a hoof to his chin to think about it.

And then after a few quick seconds of silence, Mac then said, “Is the Earth the shape of an apple?”

He had said that while putting his left forearm forward and a little bit of wide eyes as he looked towards Arrell.

Arrell then had a ‘whatever’ kind of look with his eyes and he said as he rolled his eyes, “Close enough I guess.”

And then a pony in a fancy suit and a fancy top hat came walking by. One of the residents of Stalia for the most part, and his name was Toppy Hoppy. He noticed us and overheard what we were saying. And he had a little smile on his face with a little monocle on his face, a nice, black, fancy suit and bowtie with a little cane that he was carrying with him. He was also a unicorn, sort of middle aged, and had a grey colored mane that was short, with a darker grey coat color.

And a cutie mark that was a picture of a fish…because he sold fish and made millions of bits off of it. And Honestly, most of the time I never notice the other residents of Stalia, but in one of a few moments, I have here. To me they are just in the background, maybe every now and then they say something, but I keep them in the background in my mind. So in case the day ever came and everyone was burning, I can drown out their screams of bloody murder and terror as I sip on some nice hot coco…

Anyways, Toppy Hoppy saw us, and he stopped by me, in which case I gave him a little, weird side look as he was standing next to me.

And he asked me, with a little high pitched fancy British voice, “I say, what are you chaps talking about here?”

I then turned my full attention towards him, as well as the others, and I then responded to him after giving a slight sigh, “We’re talking about if the rock we’re living on is flat or not.”

I had said it with a bit of cynicism in my voice.

Toppy Hoppy then responded with, “Oh I do say, that must be an exciting good time!”

He had said it with enthusiasm, in which case I responded to him with, “Well…if you like hell, then it’s right up your ally.”

And then all of a sudden another pony joined that was also a background resident of Stalia. This time it was Hickey Prick…he was a prick if you couldn’t tell. And he was a prick because he was part of the Homeless that lived in Stalia’s Hobo Ally. He was an Earth Pony and had a cutie mark of a pencil and paper as he used to be a school teacher…before he beat up some kids with a dildo he found in his dead wife’s coffin and then got expelled for it…don’t ask. And he came walking in with a dark tone color fur coat and a dirty, messed up, grease stained, brown duster coat that he had on. One of his eyes was disproportioned, had most of his teeth missing, and his nose was a bit cricked. His mane wasn’t clean either and was just a mess.

He even had a stench that followed him everywhere he went and it smelled like skunk feces and a slowly, dead rotting rabbit corpse. And maybe something more that has yet to be identified by science. And he also has a bad back leg, on his left, as he was limping as he came walking towards us. And as usual, he had a half empty, or perhaps half full bottle of liquor in his left hooves and he carried it with him where ever he went. Anyways, he came up to us, pretty much the opposite side where Toppy Hoppy came from, and so the other guys and I turned our attention to Hickey Prick, as well as Toppy Hoppy’s attention as well.

And so he came to us and he said in a low tone of voice, as he may or may not have had throat cancer and said like a crazy person in a fast pace, “Hmmm what you guys talk about hmmmm? I tell ya, if I had a bit for every time some kind of hooligans playing on the street, I’d be a a wealthy stallion I tell ya hmmmm? I tell ya, you damn kids and your fancy talk and your fancy technology better get off my lawn or I get my stick and beat you and your zebra friends over there yander hmmm? I tell ya back in my day we didn’t have what you wipper Snappers have today. All we had were sticks in the backyard, beating zebras if we ever saw them hmmmm? I tell ya, we need to get those damn zebras and hippogriffs out of this country or it’s going to go all down hill from there Hmmmm? Dagnabsonofaubitchacguntfuckbitchliekadagngabasonsofadbitchyoudlikesasfuckignfaggotdandsonfouabitchas”

And we then all just stared at him and said absolutely nothing and some of the guys just gave him wide eyes, which some of us, including me, just stared at him with our hopes in humanity…ponykind, whatever…destroyed.

And so Jack broke the few seconds of silence and said, “Get back to your garbage home you filthy son of a bitch.”

He had said it like a command, but I think he was trying to say an insult. It was kind of off with that insult, but hey I don’t blame him for trying. At least he tried…but anyways... And then one more pony that was a background resident came walking by and it was a Pegasus this time around and it was basically Stalia’s Derpy. In fact, the town wanted to be competitive with Ponyville to the point where the mayor ordered for a pony to be born and made in a test tube so they can have their own Derpy.

They tried to find a mentally retarded pony in town, but no one was perfect enough apparently. They couldn’t find their “Derpy”, so they had to Derpfy a fetus from a test tube grown in some science lab, mostly underground since its illegal, so they can have their own Derpy and so Stalia can say they have a Derpy. So this pony that came up to us was crafted and perfected to be the perfect “Derpy” for Stalia, as some ponies believe that Derpy over in Ponyville was also made in a lab.

I mean from what I’ve heard, it wasn’t a mistake that she got that lazy eye of hers, but there’s another conspiracy theory that she was just grown in a lab to piss of the ponies of Stalia. But whatever, so Stalia made their “Derpy” and his name is Ferpy or his legal name to cover up the fact that he was grown in a test tube Fitzy Boo. Retarded, I know, but they gave him a made up history and everything. Ferpy was born perfect and was well on his way to growing up a healthy pony. And potentially could have had the mind of a genius and be seen as a role model for future generations to come.

But then one day, he needed to get vaccinated if he was to go to pre-school. So his parents took him and as soon as he got vaccinated, he got autism. The parents were heartbroken by this so they just dropped him off over at the local orphanage near Hobo Ally and left and never looked back. And from there, he got dumber and dumber as the years went on to where his autism evolved into a new disease called Super Autism.

And once he turned the legal age, he was kicked out of the orphanage and the mayor felt bad for him so he was generous enough to give him a home and everything. So he tries to live a happy, fulfilled life as much as possible, assuming he can understand the concept of life itself. He has problems obviously, as he can’t do basic math, has problems with speech, and has a lazy eye and a little fucked up leg that’s bent backwards. Just one leg…his left foreleg. At least that’s the cover up story they gave him. Really they just got drunk in the lab one night and made him in twelve hours and ended up making a living organism that resembles a Pegasus. He can’t speak either as they forgot to make a full pony brain…instead they just gave him a half a brain and some spray cheese…literally.

And somehow that works and honestly no one can tell if he has intelligence or not because he can’t speak. But apparently the longer you’re around him, the better you can understand him and his “language”. Let’s just say Ferpy has a heart of gold, but we all know deep down inside he is just autistic…maybe… Anyways, Ferpy was a Pegasus that had a very dark grey coat color, with a medium length of a mane that was a darker yellow. He also had a lazy eye, and his cutie mark that was given to him was this: C₁₇H₃₅COONa.

It was literally just that so uhhh…there you go.

Anyways, Ferpy came flying like a retard from the clouds and looked down on us as if he was kind of god with a permanent retarded like smile on his face and once he landed on the ground sloppily, he yelled out, “Uhhhhduhhhwaaaaaa”

Obviously I didn’t understand what he was saying, I mean he wasn’t even looking at my direction.

He was looking up at the clouds. But Toppy Hoppy then said with a little chuckle in his voice, “Why yes Ferpy, we are talking the philosophy of where our existence lies. How did you know?”

Ferpy then responded with “Waaaaaaduhwaaasaaaa!”

Arrell then responded while having a little surprised look on his face, but with a little smile, “Wow…you must have some ears on you Ferpy.”

Ferpy then responded with, “Waa baa…”

And then another background resident came by, and another one, and another one, and...really just having those three attracted everyone in town to come to us as they too wanted to find out what the commotion was. And eventually we had everyone in town, even Doctor Wings was in the conversation even though he left mid-surgery so…he killed someone for sure that day.

Anyways, everyone surrounded us, and everyone was talking to each other, a huge crowed basically. And even the other guys were just talking to each other, on the subject if we are living on a flat earth or not. And as for me, I was having my head hang low, having a nasty, annoyed look in my eyes, while still holding my coffee of course, with a lot of cynicism going through my mind at that time.

And eventually I had enough and soon I raised my head and yelled out to everyone to get them to shut up, “THAT’S IT! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT! WE’RE GOING TO SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL! EVERYONE, GET INTO GROUPS, DO SCIENCE STUFF OR WHATEVER IT IS TO SEE IF YOU CAN FIND PROOF IF THE EARTH IS FLAT OR NOT! AND WHEN YOU ALL HAVE SOMETHING, WE’LL HAVE AN ANSWER…SO ALL OF YOU CAN GO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!”

Toppy Hoppy looked at me with a slight smile and he said to me as I gave him a stink eye look towards him, “Why, that’s a brilliant Idea there Knight. Let’s all get together in three groups and discover for ourselves if the world is flat.”

He then looked towards everyone else towards the town and he yelled a little, “Come now everypony! Let’s get a move on into three groups and find ourselves an answer to this mystery!”

He had said it too with enthusiasm and optimism, and everyone just went with it and moved out of our personal area and into three groups. And as usual, possibly by instinct, they went by race. So a group of Earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. And Soon everyone went on their way to try and find proof if the Earth is flat.

As for the guys, they stood there and looked at me, with Arrell saying, “Well…that’s interesting…I CALL TEAM LEADER!”

Soon Arrell ran and tried to be the leader of the Pegasi team, all with wide eyes as he was in a bit of a hurry.

And right before he took from the ground, he yelled, “We’ll see if the Earth is really flat or not!”

And as for Forrest, he had a little sad look no his face and he said as he went after Arrell, “Wait for me!”

And so both Arrell and Forrest was gone.

And then as for Jack, he said to me as he walked towards the group of Unicorns, “Well somepony has to lead a group of retards.”

I then said to him as he walked by, still with a cynical look on my face, “You’ve only passed grade school with a D-.”

And then Jack then said to me, “I count that as enough experience to come up with mathematical proof that the Earth is flat.”

And so he walked off. And all that was left was Neon and Mac.

And so Mac led the charge with Neon for the Earth Pony team and said to Neon as they walked off, “Come on Neon. I bet you and I can find proof that Applejack is the reason why the earth is flat, and so we can find a way to fix it to being NON-FLAT!!!”

And Neon responded with simply, “I like pie.”

And they both walked away, so it was only wolf and I to judge if whether or not if the proof stands up. But of course Wolf was still passed out, so I took the remaining coffee that I had and quickly threw it over Wolf’s face.

As soon as the hot coffee touched Wolf’s face, he quickly sprung up and he said out loud, “What! Where! What!? I DIDN’T MEAN TO BOMB VIETNAM, I SWEAR! DON’T KILL ME!”

He had wide eyes too when he had said that, but as soon as he had woken up and a few seconds passed to let his mind let him know where he was at, his eyes mellowed out and he then said, “What going on?”

Wolf then looked towards me while I gave him a side glance, and asked me, “What’s happening right now?”

I then said to Wolf as I started to walk away, “We’re going to see if the earth is Flat or not.”

And as I was walking away, Wolf was still in place as he then asked, “Oh…can I still drink?”

I then said, “Whatever Wolf, I don’t care right now.”

And then Wolf said to me, “Sweet, I’m in then.”

He had a little smile and catched up to me and walked by my side as we walked around a bit to give the three groups sometime to try and come up with proof that the Earth was flat.

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

PEGASI

So we waited around a while, spent time fucking around outside on the grass, Wolf got some more liquor and held it in his paws, but once we felt like time was up, we left. And so Wolf and I headed out to the group where the Pegasi was at and to see what kind of proof that they had. They were all in the sky except for one background resident named Purple Flurry, just a random Pegasi that was purple and was a mare. She was hovering near the ground , watching the skies.

So I went up to her and asked her in an annoyed, bit given up on life look on my face, “So, you guys got anything?”

Purple looked towards me and said kindly, “I don’t know. But Arrell and Forrest should be back any minute now.”

And at the time, it was the speak of the devil as Arrell and Forrest, along with most of the Pegasi of the town of Stalia came flying back and towards us. And once they landed, Arrell and Forrest was right in front of me while every other Pegasi landed behind them wand was watching us talk.

I then asked Arrell and Forrest as soon as they landed, “So…got proof?”

Arrell then said to me with his eyes rolled back, “Well Forrest suggested flying to space, but it turns out our wings can only go up so far before we get too cold and we ran out of oxygen.”

Forrest then said with an embarrassing look on his face, “It was a good try wasn’t it?”

Arrell then said, “Yeah but…three ponies died.”

He had said it with a little said look on his face.

I then asked Arrell, “Does that even matter with us?”

Arrell then looked towards me with a blank expression, “No, it doesn’t.”

So I then asked them, “So, what did you ended up doing then?”

I had a raised eyebrow as I was curious. So Forrest then told me, “Well, after trying to get to space and having three ponies die on us, we decided to see if we could see the curvature of the earth. Because if it’s flat, then we can’t see a curve. And if it there is, then the earth isn’t flat…right?”

I then said, “I guess. So did ya?”

Forrest had said all of that with a smile, and still did then when he said to me, “Well no. We couldn’t.”

Arrell then said, “I told Forrest that just because you can’t see a curve doesn’t prove anything, but he won’t listen.”

Wolf then spoke up, while drinking a little, “That can be easily explained. You see…we just have a very low draw distance and that’s why you can’t see a curve…”

Arrell then had a confused look on his face and then asked, “Draw what now?”

I then said with me not caring about what was just said, “Well, that’s good enough for me. Let’s move on to the Unicorns.”

UNICORNS

So we then moved onto the unicorn group, and we walked to the center of town as that’s where they decided to set up at. And when we got there, they had a bunch of tables, some cardboard with pictures, a lot of science related stuff like test tubes and protractors and the like. It looked like they were trying to use mathematics to try and find their answer. No surprise since apparently the unicorns are seen as the scholars throughout Equestria. Anyways, Jack was the lead of the group, and he was near so we went up to him and we asked him as he was using his magic to look at some green stuff in a test tube.

Once he saw us coming, he put the test tube down and I asked him, “So…what are you looking at?”

I had said it with a raised eyebrow of course. And he just said to me, “I don’t know. I just told them to come up with some equation that proves that the Earth is flat.”

Even though I know it wouldn’t have been correct, I was still curious as to what equation they came up with.

So I then asked, “Well then, let’s see it.”

Jack then looked towards the rest of the unicorns behind him and yelled out, “Alright guys, show ‘em!”

And so he and a few other unicorns moved out of the way and made room to bring out a chalkboard with some writing on it. And as soon as the chalkboard was in view for me and Wolf, another background resident of Stalia, named Ocean Dusk, another mare, who had a dark blue coat color and the like. She then used her magic to pick up a stick and then pointed to the board and explained to me what the equation was.

Ocean then said to me, “So what we came up with is this. F of x, equals to the sunshine, plus flowers, minus the degrees of a circle, divided by the times a bird chirps, also divided by tree, plus the mass of a fat pony, having sex with a dog. And that dog then finds a mare and also has sex with that mare. And that mare also likes to get off to the sound of a filthy zebra. And then an evil griffin comes to eat a rabbit that holds the knowledge to the secrets of the world that we live, which equals to uhhh…uhhh…uhh…a flat earth?”

On the chalkboard, there was a bunch of drawings and a lot of scribbles. Half of what she had described wasn’t even on there and when she had said that last part like a question, she had an embarrassed look on her face with red cheeks as she tried not to make eye contact.

I then asked her, “Did you just make that up on the spot because you all did absolutely nothing?”

Ocean then said to me, with still an embarrassed look on her face, “Yeah…we did…”

I then said, “Good enough for me. Come on Wolf…on to the Earth Ponies.”

And as we left, Jacked yelled out to us, “THE UNICORNS ARE THE MASTER RACE!”

And I just simply said back, “I GET IT JACK!”

To be fair…the unicorns are the master race, gas the earth ponies…

EARTH PONIES

And so we wanted to get this stupid “mystery” over and done with as soon as possible, so we hi tailed it over to Mac’s farm, as apparently as that’s where they all decided to show up at according to Ferpy. Apparently Wolf can translate what Ferpy says when he’s drunk enough. And with that being said, we went to the farm, it was a bit of a walk, but we made it in due time. And once we did, all the Earth ponies were just scattered around, talking to each other, not seeming to be doing anything to find out if the Earth is flat or not.

So I went up to a random background resident named Moonlight Love, another mare, this time just being a red/pink-ish kind of coat color. I’m not so great with colors…I think it’s because these pony eyes have color blindness or something when it comes to stallions…or maybe I just have a really fuzzy memory.

Either way, it was like between a red and a pink color for the mare.

Anyways, I went up to Moonlight and asked her, as she was minding her own business, “What’s going on here? Did you guys find something or what?”

And Moonlight simply explained to me, in a little shy tone, “Uhhh…no. We thought we were…but our group leaders aren’t really doing anything.”

She then pointed with her right hoof over towards Neon and Mac who were standing side by side to each other. Neon was just sitting there on his ass, staring at the ponies. He had his mouth opened up every once and a while, and if I can guess, he was staring at all the other Earth Ponies…seeing them as his next potential victims. He was looking at them with blood lust eyes, waiting for the time for him to strike for the next soul for him to send to Neon Hell. And somewhere deep within his own psyche, it was simply sanity to him what he was thinking.

And as for Mac, he was intensely starring at a shiny red apple, not even blinking once. He looked serious about it too as he just gave a look similar to Fluttershy’s stare, but instead he was giving the red apple a stern look as he held it up with his left hoof up to his face, as if he was studying it and waiting for something to happen. So I headed over to Mac and Neon, who were standing apart from the group of the other Earth Ponies.

And as I was about to ask Mac what was going on, because Neon wasn’t going to be of any help, Mac sprang up with wide, surprised eyes and raised his right hoof with still the apple in place and said, “I’VE GOT THE ANSWER!”

He wasn’t saying it to anyone in particular, and I also had a bit of a surprised look on my face when he had said it out of nowhere.

And after he had said, I asked him while Neon continued to look hungrily at his next potential victims, “So what is the answer then Mac?”

Mac then said as he held the apple to me and pointed at it with his free of everyone and a while, “See this apple here Knight? This apple is the Earth. The earth is round as well. How you may ask? Because this apple is round. If this apple was flat, so would the Earth. But, the Earth is not flat because this apple as well as everything that revolves around this apple is not flat. If the Earth was flat, then gravity would be quite different, and Applejack wouldn’t be such a bitch. And so, that means that Earth is an Apple.”

Mac then threw the apple away behind him, sat on his pony ass, crossed his forearms in front of him, and closed his eyes with a smug look on his face and said to me, “There is your proof Knight.”

He had sat there with a smug look, thinking he had found the answer and he was a genius and was better than Applejack somehow.

I would have a comment on how retarded that logic was, but I just couldn’t give a fuck anymore so I just simply said, as Mac just opened one eyes and was a bit confused, “Alright...we’re getting nowhere obviously. This was a bad idea obviously and a huge waste of time. If no one is going to find a definitive answer, then there is only one more thing that we can do to find the answer.”

And Mac then asked me, with a curious look with his both of his eyes opened, “What is it?”

A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER

So I was in the park of Stalia, sitting my pony ass down on the dirt floor that is the earth, across from another background resident of Stalia named Athy Est, who was a stallion, with a dark brown coat, a grey, wavy mane, and a pair of glasses. As well as a cutie mark that was a picture of an atomic whirl. And he had a smug look on his face, had confidence as we both looked down on the table that had a chess board on it.

And I simply had my right hoof, rubbing under my pony chin, thinking of my next move, while Athy Est didn’t say anything. It was just complete silence between the two of us.

Until of course the entire town of Stalia was behind me and soon Arrell came up to me and asked with a confused, but curious look on his face, “What are you doing?”

I then simple stated to him, “Quite Arrell, I’m trying to concentrate here. Depending on the outcome of this game, we will get our answer if the earth is flat.”

And then Arrell said as he turned around to head back with everyone else, “Alright then Knight. Uhhh…I’ll be with everypony else when you’re done.”

I then waved him off, even though he was going already, but...you know…couldn’t see that when my eyes were concentrated on the chess board. Anyways, I was thinking of my next move to make, as the move was a critical one. It would make it or break it, and Athy Est was just simply starring at me with smug looking eyes, thinking he was kind of smart hotshot, thinking he had beaten me…but then…I made my final move on him. and moved my white queen to H5.

And then I said to my opponent, “Checkmate Athy Est.”

He then had a sad and disappointed look on his face and made a little whimper sound as well.

And as he was being a little bitch sore loser, I got up from the ground and headed back to the rest of the town and yelled out to them, “ALRIGHT GUYS, THE EARTH IS FLAT! IT’S OFFICAL!”

And that was it…end of that little event that happened…the end…

Well, it looks like I’m doing another one of these. Wolf has me by the balls when it comes to these shorts, if you know what I’m saying. Not in a gay way, just that he has me pinned down. Of course not in a gay way, he is just forcing me to…you know what, never mind. So I have to write another one of these “shorts” so here it goes I guess. So what else is there to write about? Hhmmm…The Ghost stuff? No…no no no, not yet…those are too precious to be seen by the likes of you people…uhhhh…hmmmm…maybe the fly?

No, not yet, you people are not ready for such a thing yet…and when I mean by you people, I mean the Asians. And maybe the Jews…which by the way, I know I can’t hear your response because this is just me writing in a journal that will theoretically be picked up by someone in the future once I throw it into the abyss or some shit like that but uhhh…can you Jews kindly please stop counting my sheckles. That would greeeeeaaaaat…thaaaaaaaanks. Anyways, what should I write about that doesn’t matter much anymore…what can I look through the portals and see?

Oh I know… hold on, let me clear my mind. Alright, settle down one and all, for I have a story to tell you all. I have a tale between a father and his two daughters. A father that had ambition and wanted it all for him and his family, but was too self-centered for his own good and let his ambitions blind him for what really mattered in his life. Yes, that is correct assumingly you guessed it right as to who I am referring to… the Corona Virus and his two daughters Ebola Chan and Corona Chan.

Or just his short name, The Corona, Corona Virus is his father’s name and Novel Covid-19 is his full legal name. So where do we begin here? Ah, well let’s start back on Earth, My Earth or was that an alternate universe Earth? Doesn’t matter, it’s all the same shit if they both fucking suck, am I right? No…ok, moving on here. So we start in an ordinary neighborhood in the suburbs in a normal, calming, house at night.

The house itself is your average two story house, painted white, and has no problems with it. It is an average, family sized house that any family would buy…assuming their credit rating is good, otherwise they have no other choice but to live out on the street with the rest of the poor people…and when I mean by poor people, I mean the blacks.

Well, assuming there is no room left in the hood. Anyways the house was occupied by a three person family, of course filled with white people, and a pet dog. The father was asleep, and throughout the house, all the lights were off except for two bed rooms. The parent’s bed room and the kid’s bed room. And in the kid’s bed room was pretty much your average child’s bed room that was fit for a six year old. The room was painted a sort of dark-ish blue, sort of like a dark light blue you could say. There were toys in the toy box, a desk with the globe sitting on it. There was a bed sitting in the corner of the room, with a night stand right next to it with a little lamp.

And that lamp was on and shining bright to illuminate the corner of the room. And in the bed was a little boy who had brown, short hair, and a little look of worry upon his face. And right next to him was his mother who had the curves to her female body and long lustful hair, but with a calming and motherly look on her face. She was tucking in her little baby into bed, covering up and pulling the covers over her son.

And as she finished securing her boy into the bed, the little boy looked up with worry and anxiety to his mother and asked her, “Mommy, I’m sacred.”

The mother gave a warm smile and thought it was cute that he was scarred, and she said with a warm tone in her voice to him, “And why is that sweetie?”

The little boy then said to her, “I’m scared that the Corona Virus is going to come out of my closet and get me while I’m sleeping.”

The mother could only help but giggle a little and looked calmly to her child while trying to comfort his fears and said to him, “Don’t be silly son, there’s no such thing as a Corona Virus.”

But the son was still scarred and he continued to remain worried. So he said to his mother while sitting up a little bit in his bed, “But mommy…”

However, he was soon cut off as his mother gently laid her hand on his chest and pushed him back down into his bed as she said to him, “There is nothing in your closet that will come out and get you. The only thing you need to fear are the Jews. Now get some sleep, you have school in the morning.”

However, the little boy still wasn’t convinced, so he had said, “But…”

But he was cut off once again as the mother was walking away as she said to him, “I’ll leave the lamp on as a little night light for you. Goodnight and try to have sweet dreams”

She had given one last look to her son as she gave a warm and comforting smile towards him right before she turned around completely and left the room. As soon as she had left, the boy was still scarred regardless of his mother’s advice. But he tried to remain calm within his own mind, so he decided to try and not to worry about such fears getting to him.

And soon, as he was looking around his empty room, he soon started to close his eyes and drift off into dreamland soundly, knowing that his mother was probably right. Until there was a little squeaking noise that from his door happened that is. Once he heard the slight noise, his eyes jumped open wide and took a quick look around the room. And then the noise happened again, and the little boy immediately sat up in his bed. However, the boy thought about it real quick and concluded that the noise had came from his closet. So he looked forward, as that is where the closet was at, and stared at it, thinking of all the kinds of monsters that could have been there.

Yet, he wasn’t sure if it was just all in his head or not, so he took a little gulp and asked it out loud a little bit, “Hello?”

And then after a few seconds of silence of no answer, a little big ball that was a sort of a color between a peach and a pink that was big as an adult human being and covered with spikes took a little peek out of the closet.

And once the little boy saw this, he screamed out loud, “AH! IT’S THE CORONA VIRUS! HE’S COME TO GET ME!”

And as soon as the little boy yelled that out loud as he could, The Corona simply slipped back into the closet almost as if he was never there to begin with. As for the little boy, he jumped out of bed and ran straight for his parent’s room down the hall to tell them of the scary Corona that was in his closet. And so as soon as the little boy left the room, the Corona was pleased by this as he continued to hide amongst the little boy’s clothes. And soon he started to speak to himself, and whenever he talked, his entire body glowed.

Another thing about the Corona was that he didn’t have legs, rather, he was just floating there with nothing beneath him, but it only meant that he couldn’t fly. He was still grounded in a sense. And whenever he talked, he had the voice that was high pitched, but was male, since he was a he after all, go figure. But it was that kind of high pitched, sort of like The Monarch you could say, but not quite, but that is what his voice sounded like in a way.

Well anyways, the little boy was out of his room, telling his parents on him, but the Corona felt confident about his actions, as he said to himself, “That fool! Thinking he can go get his parents to come and save him. Well think again kiddo, I’m here, right now! And soon you’ll be under my control as my slave! And as soon as I get you, I’ll get your parents! AND SOON THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL BE UNDER MY CONTROL AND EVERY HUMAN BEING SHALL BE MY SLAVE! I SHALL HAVE THEM BUILD PYRAMIDS IN MY IMAGE! THEY SHALL WORSHIP ME AS THEIR GOD, AND THE WHOLE WORLD WILL BE MINE IN WORD DOMINATION! AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

He had laughed at the last part of what he had said to himself as an evil laugh like a corny villain. His heart was set on world domination after all. However, that was short lived as he was caught…

30 MINUTES LATER OUTSIDE THE HOUSE…

And so the Corona’s plans were foiled and he was outside of the house. The police arrived as the parents found the Corona in their son’s closet, and boy’s parents were pissed off by that. And so they called 911, and the police had came as soon as they could. And no more than thirty minutes later, two police officers, one black, one white, dragged him out of the little boy’s closet, and out to their car where they had him over the hood of their vehicle. As the flashing lights of red and blue filled the air, the parents were watching as the two police officers were talking to the Corona, and all were not happy at all.

Especially the parents who had extremely pissed off looks off their face, while the police were just determined to put the Corona away in jail for the night.

The Corona was talking to the two officers and he said, “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING! YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG GUY!”

The white police officer then said to the Corona, “Sir, you were seen hiding in their son’s closet, you were caught red handed their buddy.”

The Corona then responded to the two officers, “BUT IM NOT A CRIMINAL…I’M PART OF THEIR FAMILY! RIGHT GUYS!?”

He was referring to the family of three, and had metaphorically looked over to them for an answer, since the Corona didn’t have any eyes…or a mouth or a nose for that matter, but whatever.

The Family however wasn’t in the mood for his games and the father simple said while in his pajamas, “YOU WERE IN MY SON’S CLOSET WATCHING HIM SLEEP YOU SICK CHILD MOLESTER!” The Corona could only respond and he yelled out loud, “BUT I’M NOT A CHILD MOLESTOR! I DON’T SWING THAT WAY! I’M NOT THAT KIND OF GUY! HONEST! I WAS ONLY TRYING TO INFECT HIM!”

And then the white police officer then asked the Corona, “And how were you going to infect him sir?”

And then the Corona then simply stated, “BY TOUCHING HIM OF COURSE.”

After he had said that, the parents just shook their heads in disgust while the little boy started to cry in his mother’s arms.

The Corona then asked out loud, “WHAT!? WHAT DID I SAY!?”

The white police officer then just simply shook his head and said to him, “Looks like you just dug your own grave.”

And then the black police officer yelled at him, “Your kind makes me sick!”

And then the black police officer took out his baton and whacked him really hard with it, somewhat knocking him out.

LATER AT THE JAIL HOUSE…

The Corona was then put behind bars. He was in a big empty room with many others at the time, mostly hobos and drug addicts, and they didn’t pay any mind to the Corona either. They just minded their own business, however, the Corona did have a little black spot towards the top, symbolizing where the black officer hit him at.

So the corona was standing near the bars, hoping and wondering if he’ll get out.

However, soon the white police officer from before came walking by with the keys and he said with a calm face as he went towards the door’s lock, “Looks like you made bail. If it was up to me, you and your kind would be put down by being burned alive.”

As the white police officer was opening the door to let him out, the corona then yelled out, “BUT I’M NOT A PEDOPHILE!”

And the white police officer only said to him, “Whatever you say pal…whatever you say.”

He could only have a look of disappointment on his face, but that kind of disappointment where you’ve seen it too many times and you just want to get the day over with already. So the Corona was let out and he was escorted to the waiting area where who paid his bail at was waiting for him. So he walked through the waiting area door and to his surprise, he found his ex-wife and her new husband Chad waiting for him.

And his ex-wife, Linda, was not happy at all and had a mix of a disappointed and pissed of look on her face. Linda was pretty much your average woman, she had her hair in a ponytail, was sort of a blonde, had good looks, was middle aged, and kept up a decent figure for her age.

And she was wearing casual clothing that was red with a pair of mom blue jeans, if that makes any sense. As for her new husband Chad, he was literally just a bottle of Corona that was the size of a human being. He wore a jacket though.

And so as the Corona saw this, he said to them, but sort of to himself a little bit, “So, I guess you’re the ones who paid my bail?”

Linda then said as she had her arms crossed and asked, “How could you do this Corona? You know you still have to take care of your daughters!”

The Corona then said “I know that! What do you think I was doing last night, I was trying to work! Also “HI” Linda, nice to see you again. How about how was jail last night? Are you ok? Did they hurt you? Do you need a lawyer so you can sue the police force? Also “HI” Chad.”

Chad could only say to Corona, “Hi sport! How’s it been?”

Linda then said to the Corona while pointing at him with one hand on her hip, “Don’t change the subject! You promised that you would be better than this and that you would get an actual job to take care of your daughters!”

The Corona then said to her, “I am doing that Linda! I’ve got a job that’s paying the bills and taking care of our daughter and your illegitimate child.”

Linda however then snapped at the Corona and said, “Trying to take over the world isn’t a job Corona! I meant you getting a simple office job like you promised. Even Chad was willing to help get you one and you refused! You are so frustrating and so stubborn and hot headed! I can’t even!”

The Corona then simply responded with, “Well I’m doing the best that I can! Trying to take over the world isn’t easy you know?”

Linda however then said to Corona, “Well your best isn’t enough! You’re not setting a good example to your kids!”

The Corona then said, but more in a relaxed and calm tone this time, “Oh Linda, why did we ever split up to begin with? Your fierceness is what drove me wild about you! Oh baby, can we ever try again and…make it work this time?”

Linda however was still furious and she continued to point her finger at him and she said towards him, “I gave you enough chances Corona! I’m with Chad now and he’s been a better husband than you ever could!”

Chad then said with a happy and gleeful tone in his voice, “That’s right sport!”

The Corona however then said to Linda, “Well whatever. Just don’t forget I still have the girls this week!”

Linda however then said, “Oh I know Corona. I’m been talking to my lawyer recently and she said that I can take full custody of them after what you did last night.”

The Corona then seemed surprised by this news and he said, “What!? W-What does that mean!?”

Linda then said to him, “It means you’re never going to see your children ever again Corona! By next week, they’ll be moving in with me and Chad, and you can forget ever seeing them again because I’ll get a restraining order from the judge! So you better spend the time with them that you have left with them!”

The Corona then shimmered down a bit and he then said to Linda, “Come on Honey…sweetie, baby…let’s be rational about this now.”

Linda however wasn’t having any of it and then simply turned around with Chad and said as they walking out the door to him, “Goodbye Corona!”

And as soon as the two left the building, the Corona then said to them, “WELL FINE! FUCK YOU TOO YOU TWO TIMING SLUT! YEAH THAT’S RIGHT! I KNOW YOU WENT BEHIND MY BACK WHEN I WAS ON THAT BUSINESS TRIP THAT ONE TIME WITH THE NEIGHBOR! I INSTALLED CAMERAS IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WERE A FUCKING WHORE! AND I DON’T CARE WHAT THAT JUDGE SAYS! I’LL WIPE MY FUCKING ASS WITH YOUR RESTRAINING ORDER YOU BITCH! YOU HEAR ME!? I’M KEEPING MY KIDS! YOU HEAER THAT PART!? MY KIDS, BECAUSE THEY BELONG TO ME AND TO A GOOD FATHER AND NOT TO A TWO TIMING WHORE SLUT BITCH!”

LATER THAT EVENING…

It was soon later in the day, the Corona simply retired back to his home with disappointing new that his ex-wife could get an order from the judge that he would lose full custody of his kids. As to where the Corona was staying at, well it was the east side of the city at a shitty, rundown apartment complex. It was dirty and filthy in every nook and cranny.

But it was all that Corona could afford, and even so, he was behind many bill payments, almost to the point of being evicted. The only thing keeping a roof over his head was that the landlord owed him a favor after he did a little side business for him, so he got a place to stay for free. But everything else was threatened to be taken away if he didn’t find the money in time.

So the Corona entered his rundown apartment building, walked up three flights of stairs while being tired and a little hung over, and went to the third floor, where he walked down past some of his neighbor’s doors and finally entered apartment number 331. As he got the keys out, with no arms I mind you, he put the key into the keyhole and had to shimmy it a bit since it was sort of jammed. However after a little struggle, he finally got the lock unlocked and he entered his living quarters.

His apartment was as filthy as the building itself. The kitchen and the living room intertwined with each other, with there only being a small closet, a small separate bed room, and a small bathroom, all filthy in every aspect of it. There were some rats living in the walls, with the living room couch being pulled out to make a bed, as that is where the two daughters had so sleep at while the Corona got the other bedroom.

Not that it was any better. There were two TV’s however, but both were the old, analog style with the two bunny ear antennas. Surprisingly it still worked in the digital age, just barely however. As for the kitchen, there were pots and pans stacked up, dirty and unwashed in the sink, a fridge that barley kept anything cold with a burnt out light, and an oven that would turn on for thirty minutes and then turn off.

There was even an empty space where a dish washer used to be, but instead it was home to some rats and roaches. And in the middle of the kitchen was a small dinner table with two wooden chairs. The Corona had two daughters, one named Corona Chan and the other Ebola Chan, or as that is what he liked to call them. Really, their real names were あいか and Amanda.

Corona Chan was Linda’s illegitimate child of course, but she had loved her anyways regardless if the Corona had cheated on her that one time while he was in Japan. Long story short, the Corona found a Japanese prostitute one lonely night, paid her, and nine months later, she had a baby. The hooker thought she would have a husband out of the Corona, but really in the end he just killed her, but took the daughter in anyways.

Corona Chan wore a traditional Chinese style red dress with some Chinese lettering on it. She had brown hair, with two little puff balls on the sides, whatever those are called, hey, I am not one of those “Females” you people speak of…so don’t blame me. Besides, it’s different here on the other side so…whatever. Anyways, she also had a pair of red high heels to go with the Chinese dress and had green eyes as well.

And for the costume, since this is what the Corona wanted her to wear, was a pair of bat wings made out of cardboard, so it made it look like she was some kind of human, bat hybrid. As for Ebola Chan, she had blonde hair just like her mother, had blue eyes, wore what almost looked like a white nurse outfit, with the little hat on her head. She had pigtails pretty much that extended a little longer than what you would usually see.

And at the ends of those pigtails was colored sort of a peach color, as the Corona wanted it to make it look like it was Ebola, but Ebola Chan was a little restrictive about that idea. She also too was forced to wear a pair of bat wings that was made out of cardboard, but the difference here compared to her sister was that Corona Chan had black colored bat wings while Ebola Chan had a light dark colored pair of bat wings.

And she too wore a pair of high hells to go with the costume that their father gave them. When the Corona came back, tried and dazed, Corona Chan was sitting at the table, looking a little worried about her father while Ebola Chan was on the pull out bed from the couch, laying down and texting her friends from school. Ebola Chan was a little spiteful towards her father while Corona Chan adored her father, and was eager to see him again.

When the Corona entered the apartment, Corona Chan looked up and had a big, hopeful, wishful eyes that glittered a bit, and as soon as she saw her father, she had a big smile of hope filled her face. She immediately got up from the table and ran towards her father and hugged him.

She was so happy and filled with glee; she said out loud to her father that even the next door neighbors could hear her scream, “ああ、パパ、私はあなたがとても恋しいです！またお会いできてうれしいです！”

The Corona then simply said in a low and tired tone, “Yes yes my dear, I missed you too. Where’s your sister at? It doesn’t appear she seems to be here right now. All I see is a stranger living in our wonderful and happy home right on her bed.”

Ebola Chan, who was busy looking at her phone and didn’t want to give eye contact to her father due to her spitefulness towards him, said to him, “Oh ha ha dad. I get it, I’m that stranger.”

She had said it in a sarcastic tone of voice. The Corona however wasn’t happy about her response and so he pushed Corona Chan aside gently and moved towards into the apartment while Corona Chan closed the door behind them.

The Corona then said to Ebola Chan, “Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice young lady. I am your father!”

Ebola Chan, who continued to look on her phone, said to the Corona, “You’re a dead beat loser, that’s what you are.”

That just tipped the Corona off and he said loud, “I AM YOUR FATHER AND I AM TO BE RESPECTED AS…”

He then cut himself off and he then calmed down a little bit quickly and said to Ebola Chan, “Let’s not talk about this right now pumpkin. Daddy has had a long night and isn’t in the mood to discuss this with you right now.”

Then Corona Chan, who had both her hands together almost as if she was pleading with someone and had a worried look on her face, as she was still near the door to the apartment, asked her father in a high pitched voice, “親愛なる父よ、昨夜あなたはどうなりましたか？あなたが言ったように、なぜあなたは家に帰らなかったのですか？”

The Corona, sort of turned around…and looked at Corona Chan and said, “Why thank you for asking sweetie…UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE HOLD!”

The Corona had targeted that last statement towards Ebola Chan and sort of looked at her…despite having no eyes.

However, all Ebola Chan said while she continued to look and text on her phone with a disgruntled look on her face, “This isn’t even a house, it’s a run downed apartment.”

However, the Corona ignored that statement and continued to talk to Corona Chan about his adventures.

So the Corona said to Corona Chan, and technically to Ebola Chan at the same time, “Well I had plans of world domination, as you know. And like always, my plans always include you two being by my side to help rule the world with daddy when the day comes, and of course it was going to start small. I had found the perfect patient to start my plans of taking over the world. It seemed like a perfect idea too. So I went to his school, waited out in a dirty white van that I rented for a few hours from some guy from Craig’s list, and waited till he got out of school. I was going to offer him some candy if he complied willingly and got into the van, but his father was there to pick him up before I had gotten the chance.”

Corona Chan then said with a bit of an angry look on her face, “あの豚！”

The Corona then said, “I know, the nerve of some people! Anyways, after that plan failed, I went ahead and went with the backup plan, which was to break into the little boy’s house, and wait in his closet. And right when he fell asleep, I would have touched him and he would have become one of my slaves. And then at school, he would lead me to the other kids, and then I would touch those kids! And Soon as I touched all the kids in the world, they would be under my control and my slaves! And soon, the parents would be forced to become my slaves as well, or else their precious children would be mine forever, but that’s to trick them of course.

‘And then, everyone would be under my control. And I know what you’re asking, what about the incels? Well, no matter, I had a plan for that as well. I would have sent you two to seduce them and infect them with the STD’s! Or as the long version of it goes, Strands, Tylenol, and Denny’s! And then, the world would be ours. And as a little bonus, I would be able to execute Chad and Linda would have to come back to me then!”

Corona Chan then put her hands together like before and had a smile upon her face with glitter in her eyes as she said out loud, “それは素晴らしい計画パパのようにすすりました！”

The Corona however then said in a disappointing tone to Corona Chan, “I know…but it failed. So now I have to come up with a new plan for world domination instead. But have no fears, your father will come up with something that will really work this time!”

Ebola Chan however finally put her phone down and looked at her father and said, “You say that every time dad and it never works.”

She had even said it with rolling her eyes back as well.

However, the Corona wasn’t happy with this statement, and he simply replied to her with, “You starting to sound just like your mother.”

Ebola Chan then said to him, “I wish I was. I wish I was living with her and Chad right now instead of with you!”

The Corona then said to her, “Take that back…”

However, Ebola Chan then said, “I won’t! Ever since you and mom split up, my life has been ruined!”

She started to have a little sad face form as she had said that, but still equally pissed off.

However, the Corona wasn’t in the mood for this, so he then said, “I don’t have time to deal with this right now. I’ve got a headache. I’m going to go take some aspirin and lay down for a bit. You two do whatever girls do nowadays or something.”

And so the Corona started to head down the hall and towards the bathroom, as he said quietly to himself, “What am I going to do?”

However, something stopped him in his tracks. Something quite big that surprised him as well. It was a portal...a portal that was opened up and lead right here into Equestria. And the Corona just stopped and stared at it for a few seconds.

And after a few seconds had passed, he then asked his two daughters, while still looking at the portal, “Girls, were you two playing with my magical objects that I got from a weird Chinese guy down the street again?”

As Corona Chan and Ebola Chan got up to see what the Corona was talking about in the hallway, Corona Chan with a curious face on said to the corona, “まったくパパではありません。私は自分で遊んで忙しすぎました...”

And so all three saw the portal and they starred at it, with the two daughters awaiting a response from their father. As for what the portal showed, it was basically the outskirts of Stalia somewhat, the grassy fields and hills towards the Everfree Free Forest pretty much. It was a bright and clear day with the sun shining out and all was calm and shit. And so the Corona looked at it, and soon something hit is mind.

He then said to himself, “This looks like a portal to another world…perhaps another realm or universe even! This could solve my problems…maybe even all of our problems indeed.”

The Corona then turned to his two daughters and he said to them, “All right then! New Plan! We’re going to go…wherever that place is…and taking it over and enslaving whoever lives there!”

Ebola Chan then said with some cynicism in her voice, “Are you serious right now dad?”

However, the Corona then said to her as he got a little bit closer towards Ebola Chan, “Yes I am serious!”

The Corona then took a little step back and he then continued to say to his two daughters, “look, I know it’s been tough lately. I haven’t been paying the bills; we haven’t been grocery shopping in months. Your mom hates me and prefers that “Chad” guy compared to a hunk like me, and my plans have been failing every time. And I may or may not have to register as a sex offender in the near future, that court date is still pending. But this new world…new universe is our chance at a new life, a fresh start! And a chance to get away from your mother and to finaly succeed in our plans of world domination! So please daughters, join me, by my side, and we shall rule together as father and daughter!”

Corona Chan started to have a tear flow down from her eyes and across her rosy cheeks and she said as she again held her hands together like before, “パパ、これらはあなたが私たちに言った最も甘い言葉でした。”

However, Ebola Chan raised one of her eyebrows and pointed her finger towards the Corona while still holding on her phone, “Our plans? You mean your plans?”

However, the Corona ignored the intent of that statement and said, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

And so the Corona turned around…somehow…and looked into the portal and said, “It’s time for world domination!”

Corona Chan then followed her father by jumping in the air, with one arm high up in the air, while the other lower than the other arm while smiling and yelling, “世界支配！”

And as for Ebola Chan, she rolled hers eyes back again with cynicism in her voice and said, “I guess I’ll go too.”

And she put her phone away and then waited for the Corona to make the first move. So, the Corona took a few seconds to take it all in, and went through the portal, with the two daughter following suit. And once they stepped through, the portal closed behind them, and the two were in Equestria.

EQUESTRIA...

So the three were in Equestria, with the two daughters being in pony form while the Corona didn’t change at all. Obviously the two daughters were sort of following the rules of the universes in a way, but the Corona was sort of breaking the rules, but that’s to be expected since the Corona was just a floating ball with spikes…just like the virus counterpart I suppose. But enough of that, what about the two daughters you might ask. Well, the two daughter’s appearances were pretty much the same.

The same clothes, shoes, and hair style. The only differences were their coat color and cutie marks. Corona Chan had a coat color of a golden yellow color, with a cutie mark picture of, you guessed it, two corona viruses, sort of like her two puff balls in her hair. With Ebola Chan, she had a coat color of a light pink, with a cutie mark picture of you guessed it again, wow; you’re good at this game, two ebolas. Aside from those differences, they were mostly the same, just in pony form.

With the Corona, he didn’t mind the change of scenery, as they entered, as I said before, the outskirts of Stalia. The grassy hills near the edge of the Everfree Forest pretty much. However, with the two daughters, they were a bit unease.

With Corona Chan, she immediately looked at herself, while trying to comprehend the changes, and she said, “私はポニーです！”

As for the other daughter, she was a little bit freaked out about the new appearance. She had wide eyes and she looked from top to bottom of her new look, but yet, she never said a word. As for the Corona, he simply sniffed the new fresh air, somehow… and took it all in. He looked up towards the sky to see the birds singing and see the fluffy clouds floating in the sky. He then looked all around him to just savor the moment.

And after about a minute of two of appreciating the view, the Corona finally broke the silence and said, “Ahhh…this is it girls! This shall be our new home from now on! Forget taking over the old world and enslaving the human race. The new plan shall be to take over this world and enslave it’s people!! HA HA HA HA HA! Ha….do uhhh…do people exist here in this world?”

As he was saying this, his two daughters looked over towards him, with a little bit of worried looks on their faces, but in the end, they both kept silent and rolled with it. However, after the Corona was done speaking, he finally, somehow… turned around and took a good look at his daughters.

As he was, Corona Chan and Ebola Chan were still a bit worried about their appearances. They weren’t sure what was happening; let alone what was going to happen next.

But their father the Corona didn’t seem to mind, because once after he checked his daughters out, he said to them, “Hey girls, love the new look. It really fits you. Not so sure about the whole pony look though, marketing suggests that it doesn’t go so well with the world domination look. But to each their own I suppose.”

The Corona then turned back around to the view he was looking at before, and said to himself, “Right! So…we just need to find whoever inhabits this world and get them to help us since we’re foreigners to this place. Hopefully they don’t mind us illegal aliens; I don’t want it to happen again like that incident with ICE that one time. So many died that day…. SO GIRLS! Help me find someone, will ya?”

And as soon as he had said that command, Forrest was flying nearby high in the sky, with a little smile on his face, doing…Pegasus things. I don’t know what the Pegasi do; all I know is that the Unicorn is the master race. Anyways, Forrest was minding his own business, flying around like it was nothing in the sky nearby, and the Corona saw this.

The Corona, instead of freaking out that it’s a pony, seemed to be a bit happy as he said to himself, “Well speak of the devil. It appears we found someone.”

He yelled out as loud as he could since Forrest was high up in the clouds after all, “HEY YOU…WATEVER YOU ARE! COME DOWN HERE! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!”

Forrest heard the screaming and his look on his face went from a happy and overjoyed look to a curious look on his face in a fraction of a second. He also had wide eyes once his eyes saw the three standing out on the grassy fields. And so he went towards them as soon as he saw them and heard the Corona’s request to come visit him. And soon, he flew down with ease and landed gently on to the grass.

And once he landed, he took a good look at them, but since they didn’t seem threatening at first glance, his mind made up that they must have been friendly and they wanted to ask him about something. Perhaps directions or where they are at. Either way, he was happy to help them with whatever needed and desired…almost anything I should say.

So, that curious look that he had on his face quickly went into a friendly one, a welcoming smile and all, and he then said to the Corona, “Hi there, you new around here?”

The Corona then cut off Forrest and said to him, “SILENCE! I need you to help me with something.”

Forrest was taken aback a bit with his loud command for him to be quiet, and his smile quickly disappeared and turned into a disappointing one with wide eyes, but then it went into a curious look with one his eyebrows being raised.

So, after the Corona spoke to him, Forrest asked him, “Wh-What do you need help with?”

The Corona then said, “Yes well…you see, we’re new here, and we have traveled a great length to get here. And we have decided, the three of us, that we would like to take over this world and I shall be its supreme ruler and enslave all of your kind…which is…”

Forrest then said, while still having a curious, but increasingly worried look on his face at what the Corona was saying to him, “…ponies…”

After Forrest had finished the Corona’s sentence, he continued to say, “Right, right, ponies. Once I enslave all the ponies here, I shall have my conquest of world domination completed. And all shall bow down to me. And if you help me with it, I shall make you my general and you can command my million pony army. And you will be known as Fifth Chan!”

Forrest was taken aback by this, with his eyes wondering around while he backed up a bit, while the Corona was sort of getting closer to his personal space while talking to him. He was worried with what was going to happen, but as usual, like the weakling that Forrest is, he kind of stumbled and mumbled about the idea and didn’t know what to do or say.

So Forrest simply said to the Corona, “Uhhhhhhh….”

As Forrest was showing signs of being unsure about what the Corona was offering him, the Corona got a bit more closer to Forrest’s face and said to him in a lower tone of voice, “If you’re help me, I’ll make you a rich pony. I’ll give you one million pieces of toilet paper if you know what I’m saying. Wink wink…”

The Corona backed up a bit, as Forrest eased up a bit with his muscles, but his eyes was still wondering around, a little bit rolled back, as he remained unsure and continued to say, “uhhhh….”

However, his eyes quickly went back to the Corona and he then asked him with an innocent look in his eyes, “Do I have to?”

The Corona then jumped up a bit and yelled out towards him, “NOT UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE! DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?”

Forrest was scarred as his back leaned a bit backwards when the Corona told him this and yelled it out towards him.

And his wide eyes showed it that he was afraid of the Corona, so he then softly said after the Corona was done speaking, “No.”

And after Forrest gave a little whimper from his little ‘No’, he went back to normal a little bit while the Corona then simply said to him, “Good, we’ve got that all cleared up. NOW YOUR FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS IS TO LEAD ME TO A PONY THAT I CAN ENSLAVE NEXT! NOW!!”

Forrest was scared by this, but he didn't say anything as he did what he was told.

And after the Corona yelled his command to Forrest, Corona Chan then jumped up in the air with still glitter eyes and a happy smile and said, “わーい！世界支配は私たちのものです！”

LATER ON AT KNIGHT’S HOUSE…

And yes, we get to me…kind of… Basically saying, Forrest didn’t know what to do or what the Corona was specifically asking for, and what I later found out was that Forrest thought he could take his problems to me and that I can fix it for him. Well that son of a bitch thought wrong but whatever. Forrest led them to my library home, and was at the front door, which was unlocked at the time, Wolf does that sometimes… I tell him to close the door and lock it, but it happens. At least there isn’t a zombie apocalypse or else we would be screwed, am I right?

Anyways, they were at my front door, and Forrest was done explaining to them that this would be a decent start for the three.

So the Corona asked Forrest, “So are you sure this is where I can start my world domination?”

Forrest, with a worried and a little bit of a scared look on his face, nodded his head in silence, as he was a bit afraid of the Corona, pussy. And so, the Coronas went to my front door, opened it, and went inside my living room.

If I understand correctly, the Corona wanted to start his world domination by commanding some of the ponies, as he thought they were a bit weak. The virus I suppose came later. So the Corona entered my living room area. I was doing something in the kitchen I think…or was that the library room, whatever.

Wolf on the other hand was in the recliner chair, reading the local newspaper with both of his paws. Trust me; Wolf got the hang of it by that time. And he was keeping his balance with his two back legs and shit. So the Corona saw this, and saw it as the only one for at the time, and went up towards him.

He noticed that Wolf was reading a newspaper, but he didn’t care, as he continued to speak up anyways.

The Corona said to Wolf, “You there vile creature! I am here to take over your world and it will never be the same ever again as you know it. So I demand you and anyone else here that you follow my orders and round up everyone else and be my slave this instant! And if you refuse, I will kill your first born child by suffocating him while he sleeps! I will destroy everything that you ever now and loved, and will burn you all alive in a fire of fury, from my wrath!”

And after that, nothing. No response from Wolf, just pure and utter silence between the two. But after a few seconds of the pure silence however, Wolf slowly put the newspaper down a little bit to show his face to the Corona, with an unamused look. He took a good look at him as the Corona just watched, and after a few seconds of looking at him, Wolf just slowly raised his newspaper back up.

After which, he then yelled out to me and said, “Kniiiiight! There’s a bug in the house”

I then came from whatever I was doing with a can of GAS! Bug spray in my right hoof, with also an unamused, mellowed out look on my face, as I got near the Corona. And if you don’t know the GAS! thing, it’s a bug spray from Earth, that later got manufactured in Equestria in a business tie up, thing, long story, some other time.

So, once I got close to the Corona, I said to Wolf, “I see it!”

After that, I took a quick second look at the “bug” and said to myself, “Ew…that’s one big ugly bug.”

And so I shook the can of GAS! and started to spray it on the Corona. An after a few seconds of spraying noises while spraying down the Corona, he started to yell out in pain as the spray burned like hell on him.

He yelled out, “aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! OH GOD MAKE IT STOP! IT FUCKING BURNS YOU MOTHER FUCKER! FUCKING FUCK FUCKITY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!”

As the Corona was being sprayed, the other guys were standing by the door way, watching, with the two daughters doing nothing to help out.

However, Corona Chan did speak up eventually and said to herself, “わあ...パパは大丈夫だと思う...”

And after Corona Chan said that, her father continued to scream, “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”, in bloody murder.

LATER AT JACK’S PLACE…

So after that blunder, Forrest took them to Jack’s home, where he was working on some new styles of clothing or whatever else he does in his spare time. I don’t know, that guy’s an asshole.

Anyways, just like my home, Jack’s door was unlocked, so they just walked right on in, but Jack never noticed as well since he had his back turned to them once the four entered as he was busy working on something at the crafting table. Jack didn’t seem to be in a happy mood and looked like he would kill someone in an instant without worry, but still be mellowed out, if you know what I’m saying. So the four walked in, and was extra quiet about it.

And after such, the Corona took out a syringe and said to the four of them in a whisper tone, “Alright, the last attempt failed miserably. So, I’ve came up with a new plan. I’m going to mind control them with my personally made, patented virus. So, I’m going to sneak up behind him, and I’ll stick it in him, and after a few seconds, he’ll be under my control. Got it?”

Forrest however, with still his worried look, said to the Corona quietly, Are you sure about this?”

As for Ebola Chan, she was mellowed and unamused like I was and was just waiting for the plan to fail on her father.

However, the Corona quickly said to Forrest, “Of course I do. Now shut up!”

And then the Corona quietly…floated…towards Jack, as he still didn’t notice them.

And as the Corona was floating up to Jack, Corona Chan whispered out in glee, “パパを取りに行こう！”

And so the Corona ever so silently went up to Jack, making sure not to make a single sound.

And soon he was close to him, as he was slowly, gently raising the needle towards Jack’s skin, and as he was about the jam the needle into Jack, Jack spoke up, pretty much he knew the whole time but didn’t care, and said to the Corona without looking at him in the eye, “Poke me with that thing and you’re dead.”

He said without much emotion on his face, but he was serious about it and like I said, didn’t seem to be in that mood to be messing around. However, Forrest noticed this, and he went up to Jack to see if he could do anything to change the outcome of the situation.

So Forrest went up to the other side of Jack with a slight smile on his face and said to Jack, “Look Jack, you’ve got it all wrong. He was just going to…”

Jack quickly cut off Forrest as he punched him right square in the face as hard as he could without looking at him. Forrest was pushed back a little bit with a mark of his face by Jack’s right hoof, as he landed hard on the floor as he said, “Owie…”

And then Jack turned the other way as he went to go somewhere else in his home as he said to Forrest, “Faggot.”

And the other three simply watched as Jack walked away.

As Jack was walking away though, Corona Chan couldn’t help but say, “ああ...貧しいポニー...”

And as for Ebola Chan, she had a bit of a worried, but also a little sad look because of what happened to Forrest. But, the plan had to move on according to the Corona.

LATER OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF STALIA…

So, with that being said, they tried one more time, as two plans had failed this time. However, the Corona wasn’t giving up that easily, as he cocked up a new plan in his head.

So, the Corona decided to take it out into the streets, where he had set up a teeter totter, or see saw I suppose, where both his daughters would be jumping up and down on the thing, yelling out various things to alert the ponies of the Corona. Forrest was once again a little bit worried, especially after that hit he took from Jack earlier, but he still stuck with them in the end.

Forrest was looking at the Corona, and asked him, “Do you really think this is a good idea?”

Forrest had moved his right hoof around to give a little bit of non-verbal communication going.

However, the Corona simply said to Forrest, “Of course I think it is! So far the previous two plans haven’t worked. So if giving them the virus won’t work, then making them panic surely will. And after they all panic, I will be the voice of reason as I tell them that I shall lead them into fixing the issues if they give me total control of their world. But really, I’ll be tricking them into giving me ultimate power and world domination! It’s brilliant!”

Forrest then said to him, “If you say so.”

The Corona then looked towards his two daughters, with Corona Chan being eager to help her father and Ebola Chan looking cynical about helping her father, to get started.

He said to his two daughters, “Hit it girls!”

And then Corona Chan then yelled out in a happy tone, “きっとパパ！”

And so, Corona Chan, who was on the low end of the teeter totter, began to be ready for her part, as Ebola Chan jumped up and slammed onto her end to start the plan.

And as soon as Corona Chan was up high in the air, she yelled out in a happy tone as high as she could to everyone else down below, as most of the ponies were out and about that day, “あなたはすべて死ぬでしょう！”

And then Corona Chan was back down as Gravity pushed her down and as soon as he hit her end, Ebola Chan was up next.

Soon, Ebola Chan was up high in the air as she yelled out in an unenthusiastic tone, “Ebola!”

And then she went back down. Then Corona Chan went back up and she yelled out in a gleeful tone, “コロナウイルスはあなたを眠らせます！”

Then she went down and Ebola Chan went back up again and she said in the same tone as before, “Ebola!”

And then she went back down and Corona Chan went back up and she said in a gleeful tone, “あなたはすべて地獄で燃えそうです！”

And then she went back down and Ebola Chan went back up and she said in the same tone as before, “Ebola!”

And then she went back down and Corona Chan went back up as she said in a gleeful tone, “共産主義が唯一の答えです！”

And then she went back down again. However, after the girls doing this four times in a row, none of the ponies that were outside were even paying any attention to them and the Corona saw this.

And he didn’t seem to be happy about this so he yelled out to his girls after he said to himself, “This isn’t working…GIRLS! GIVE IT YOUR ALL! AND YELL IT LOUDER FOR DADDY!”

And so they did. So Ebola Chan went up and yelled out, still in a unenthusiastic tone, “EBOLA!”

And then she went down and Corona Chan went back up and said in a loud, gleeful tone, “ホロコーストは嘘だった！”

She then went back down and Ebola Chan went back and yelled out in the same tone as before, “EBOLA!”

She then went back down and Corona Chan then yelled out in a loud, gleeful tone, “エプスタインは死ぬことはなかった!”

And then she went back down and Ebola Chan went back up and yelled out in the same tone as before, “EBOLA!”

And then she went back down one more time and Corona Chan went back up one more time she yelled out loud in a gleeful tone, “サンドウィッチを倒すと、より魅力的になります！”

And then she went back down one more time, end of the plan. And once Corona Chan landed back down on the ground, Ebola Chan was already off and the other end just went up, as she got off the teeter totter. And as they did, the Corona was shocked, no one was paying any attention to him at all whatsoever, and it frustrated him.

He moved towards the ponies and away from the other three a little bit, as he said to himself, “How could this be!? How come no one is panicking and starting riots! How come they are not buying up all the toilet paper and hand sanitizers to sell on the black market like normal people do!? THIS PLAN SHOULD HAVE WORKED DAMN IT!”

And after that, Arrell came on to the scene, as he was walking by and running some errands, where he saw Forrest and saw the other three with them.

He had a calm, happy look on his face and he went up to them and said, “Hey Forrest, who are these guys?”

Forrest was happy to see Arrell and had a smile quickly grow on his face and raised his right hoof up as he was about to speak to Arrell, but the Corona didn’t give him the chance as he saw this and quickly moved in front of Forrest and said to Arrell, “Who are we!? I am the Corona, and these two are my daughters Corona Chan and Ebola Chan! We were here to rule this world and enslave you all, but it looks like no one wants to be enslaved today like the cucks they are! If you hadn’t come walking here and ruin the plan, the damn thing would have worked perfectly!”

Arrell then had wide eyes, and was taken a back a bit, but after the Corona’s later remarks, he started to get offended by them and he said, “I ruined it!? I just got here!”

The Corona however continued to say to Arrell, “Well it was…it was…your wings there! You’re scarring off my slaves!”

Arrell was still offended by his remarks, as he said to the Corona, “My wings!? I use these to fly! Most other Pegasi have them too! How could we ever scare anypony else with these things?”

The Corona then sort of turned his back towards him as he said, “Well they just do. I’m willing to bet you all the toilet paper in the world that you couldn’t use your wings to try and fly. And in turn, you using your wings to not fly wouldn’t scare off the slaves with them being opened up like that! So there, you automatically scare of all the slaves if you used your wings!”

Arrell was starting to get a little bit angry by this, but yet at the same time, determined to prove the Corona wrong.

So he then said, “Oh yeah!? Well I’ll show you!”

And so Arrell walked right on over to the teeter totter and got on the end where Ebola Chan was, as the other end went up while Arrell’s end went down. He had an angry, yet determined look on his face and was ready to show the Corona a what for.

And so after Arrell got into position, he looked over to Forrest and said, “Alright then, launch me Forrest.”

Forrest had a bit of a curious look on his face, with one raised eyebrow, but he complied and flew up a little bit and said to Arrell, “Ok then…”

And then he simply pushed down on the other end of the teeter totter and launched Arrell high into the sky. And after he did that, the other three looked up into the sky in amazement as Forrest didn’t put much energy into that push, and were stunned by it.

I Mean...Forrest may be weak…but he does have one strong forearm I tell you what. I think it was because his father abused him into being some kind of sport I suppose.

In fact, Corona Chan said in response of how high Forrest launched Arrell into the sky, “まあ、彼は良い腕を持っています...”

And so, after that was all said in done, the Corona then went back to himself and he said, “Oh this is hopeless. Face it; I’m never going to accomplish my dream.”

The other three looked at the Corona as to what he was saying, as the Corona looked like he had touched the ground, like he was sad and down in the dumps with no hope left in the world.

He continued to say to himself, “Let’s face it, I’m a failure. I’m never going to achieve world domination like this. My plans always fail and fail. I’ve tried my best, but I can never seem to successfully enslave the human race, let alone the pony race for that matter. I’m never going to be the supreme ruler and enslave all of human kind just like what my parents wanted before they died in that car crash in 76’.”

The Corona even gave out a little whimper, and his two daughters saw this. Ebola Chan had a little sad look on her face as she was sad for him, while Corona Chan simple said with also a sad look on her face, “ああ、パパ、ごめんなさい、それはあなたのためにこのようになった...”

The Corona then said, “Thanks sweetie…but it doesn’t make daddy feel any better about it.” However, Forrest started to have a little sympathetic smile form on his face, as he felt the Corona’s woes.

So he went up to him and laid his left hoof on him as he said with a comforting tone, “It’s ok. I don’t think you’re a failure.”

The Corona then said, “You don’t?”

Forrest then said, “Well, I mean, you do have two lovely daughters that love and support you. Clearly you did something right.”

The Corona then took out a picture, from somewhere…and looked because he had made a point to him. The picture was an old picture from the late 90’s where it was a picture of him of his younger years with Linda in the hospital after Linda had just gave birth to Amanda.

And the both of them were smiling and happy about their new born baby. And as the Corona was looking at the picture, he was thinking about what Forrest had said, and the more he thought about it, the more Forrest made sense.

However, he still wasn’t one hundred percent certain as to what he was trying to get at, so he asked Forrest, “Well, you do have a point. But how does that help me achieve world domination and enslave the human race?”

Forrest then said with a smile, “Well, it just means that if you can raise two daughters successfully, surely you can enslave the entire human race, right?”

The Corona then took some more time to think about it, but after a while, he finally decided that Forrest was right and he started to float again said, “You’re right! I can still enslave the human race and achieve world domination, just like what my father would have wanted! I AM GOING TO BACK AND ENLSAVE THEM ALL!”

However, he went silent as he looked around, and he then said to break up the silence, “Uhhh…how do we get back?”

He went silent again, but he then said after a few seconds, “I know! I’ve got a plan!”

And so the Corona got on to the teeter totter, same side that Ebola Cahn was on, as he said to his daughters, “Come on girls, we’re going home!”

As Corona Chan was walking towards the Corona, Ebola Chan just stood there with a worried look on her face and asked, “How though? We’re stuck here.”

The Corona however said to his daughter, “Oh pumpkin, you doubt me too much. The plan is that if we get launched into the air, surely we might get thrown back into our world…I think…I think this is how it all works. Or at least until we find something. Come on…you can trust daddy can’t you?”

Ebola Cahn knew it was retarded, but in the end, she couldn’t help but give a smile as she still, deep down, loved her father and wanted to be with him in a way and she said, “Ok then daddy.”

And so Ebola Chan went to the other two, and was in position to be launched in the air, while Forrest had a smile of contempt on his face. And so, Forrest knew what he had to do.

So he flew up a little bit, and as he was about to press down on the other side to launch the three, Corona Chan said to Forrest while waving goodbye to him with a gleeful face, “魔法のおしゃべりポニーが恋しい！”

And then Forrest, without a single word, launched the three into the air, and watched them as they soared the skies and hoped they found their way back. And after he saw them off, he closed his eyes a little bit and smiled ear to ear, thinking about the good deed he had done that day.

But then he opened his eyes quickly and went back to a curious, yet worried look as he asked himself, “Wait…what are humans?”

But before Forrest could think of an answer to that question, Arrell came crashing down fast to the ground as he screamed to the top of his lungs.

And as Arrell landed hard on the ground with a loud thump, Forrest, with a plain worried look, asked Arrell while looking at him on the ground, he said to him, “Are you ok Arrell?”

Arrell then said in a weird voice before he went unconscious, “I showed him…owwwww…”

The end…wasn’t that a lovely tale now to tell to your kids before bed? Well…the end…for now…

*The Corona will return...in future shorts....sometime in your life...*

*The Elements of Protection are standing on the stage lot, smiling and waving with everything being quiet*

Knight: Hi, I'm Knight. You may know me as Knight on the "hit" My Little Pony Fan Fiction Story My Little Pony: Universal Magic. We here in the story like to make jokes and light about some serious and dark situations. But you know what isn't funny? Bug Spray.

Bug sprays kills 69 billion bugs a year, and it's hurting them really badly. Every time you send the bugs to the gas chamber, you're killing precious families and ruining lives. So how about doing the world a favor and kill them the more ethically and old fashioned way, by slowly drowning them in hot, boiling water.

Well, that's it for now.

Well, it's getting late...Goodnight!!!..

*The Elements of Protection waves goodnight and goodbye to you*...

Psst... just so you know, this is a sort of sequel to the other short, Corona Virus Comes to Equestria, so you should probably read that one first if you haven't... also happy 8th anniversary you guys... wooooo... Enjoy...

What’s that on my chin? What is that? I can feel it, yet I don’t know what it is… huh… or shit that’s right.

Ok, where were we? Ah right, the short adventures that we have all had, throughout our tormented lives here in Stalia. It’s not really torment it’s just a weird pain in the ass to deal with you know?

Especially in the short terms like the Corona who seem to have come and go and drag us into whatever. Not into like one big adventure, just periodically, it was a weird thing that happened. And how it all ends… well I guess we’ll just have to get there together as friends… or a family.

I’m kidnapping you all, and you can’t do anything about it. Alright then, let’s continue our little journey with the Corona. So last time we left off, the Corona was launched high into the sky for some weird fucking reason and Arrell made a fool of himself. As for the Corona and his two daughters they were flying into the air, without a care.

Ebola Chan and Corona Chan were holding on to the Corona’s spikes that were pointing outward with both hands, almost as if they were like hugging him or something. They were holding on to their father with a firm grip and were sort of like on the sides of him, not fully, kind of like diagonally, like half on top and half on the side so both of the daughters could fit on to the Corona’s back… or is it top?

I don’t know but just imagine the two daughters hanging off of an oversized, wise cracking magical sphere that glowed whenever it talked. They were soaring like eagles, with the two daughters having smiles upon their faces as they have grown to accept who their father was.

And I’m sure if there was an expression that you could see, the Corona would be smiling too. They were soaring fast past by clouds and birds and so many other wonders that happen to fly through the air. Like Hitler or the souls of those that were in the World Trade Center, boy are they flying still. I mean they didn’t jump out of the building, they just told themselves they could fly before they jumped… but then they jumped and was then disappointed like a kid on Christmas who wanted a game console, but instead got a sock filled with broken dreams and his dad’s seed.

You know, the kind you plant outside and a tree filled with oranges grow, but really you wanted a tree filled with apples to grow so you can be just like Applejack, so you go and chop it down, but then Florida just comes in and fuck you right in the ass. I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. Anyways, the trio was riding high in the sky and by this point, far away from Stalia. That see saw, I tell you, that was one powerful fucking see saw. But whatever, who cares if Stalia is the home to Equestria’s most powerful see saw and anyone that gets on it is bound to die and so all of the deaths have been covered up, the important point here is that the three were flying without a worry in their mind.

And they were all quiet with smiles on their faces… until Ebola Chan finally spoke up, still with a warm smile on her face and still hope for her father to one day accomplish his dreams, said to her father, “So dad, so what happens next?”

Corona then said to his daughter Ebola Chan, “What are you talking about, I thought this was your plan?”

And then that smile that Ebola Chan had slowly disappeared into one of horror as she then started to realize the reality of their situation. They were flying fast through the clouds at high speed with no way safely down and could possibly die in some unknown land. And the best part, no one will hear them scream as they land like a pancake on the ground as they die, and no one from their world will ever know.

Not the FBI, CIA, The China CIA, the Mexicans, nobody will know. And through her mind, she started to wonder what her mother will think once her and her sister is considered to be lost, and what will her friends think of back in school. She won’t be able to see them again; she’s fucked, just like life and living in a society. Society… we live in a society…. Ha… you get it? I think you do, but I don’t think you do.

Anyways, Ebola Chan was horrified by the idea that they were all going to die without seeing any other loved one ever again and that soon, as Ebola Chan then asked her father in a very hasty and worried tone, “WHAT! THIS WASN’T MY IDEA! THIS WAS YOUR IDEA DAD!”

And then Corona Chan then said out loud, still a with a heavy Asian like smile on her face, “私はこれが空に住んでいる偉大な白いひげを生やした男の計画だと思った！ イェーイ！ 私はイエスに会うつもりです！ 死のために万歳！”

And then Corona then said to Corona Chan, “Yeah that’s the spirit honey! We’ll get out of this, just as soon as your sister comes up with an idea to get us out of this mess that she got us into.”

Ebola Chan, starting to get annoyed by her father, “This was your idea though dad! You’re the one who had us get on that stupid thing!”

The Corona then started to think about it in silence as the three were hurdling at the speeds that probably should have killed them or harmed them in some way by now.

And as he was thinking for a few seconds, he then said to Ebola Chan, “Yeah, you’re probably right. I probably had like a few cold ones last night; maybe I did say something about this. Maybe we should turn back around and ask for directions. Yup, your old man here isn’t afraid to ask for directions… I’m incompetent. And I embrace it.”

Of course the question here is... is he really a man? Perhaps the Corona was a man stuck in a Corona’s body. Perhaps the Corona just needed some surgery and become a trans human or something. Come on now, we all gotta be progressive here and admit that big giant diseases can be human too as they are nothing but a joke too you know.

Anyways, Ebola Chan then yelled at her father, started to become angered by the second as they continued to be in the air, “DAD, THIS IS SERIOUS, STOP JOKING AROUND AND DO SOMETHING! OR WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!”

The Corona then finally admitted to his faults and then said, “Alright Alright Alright! I get your point. I just… I just don’t know what to do right now. I didn’t think I’d get this far.”

Ebola Chan then asked her father, “You’re telling me you did this without thinking it over!?”

The Corona then said, “Sweetie, I’m the Corona, I don’t think things, I do things. That’s how my father did it. That’s how my grandfather did it. That’s how his father did it. And his father I think just drank a lot of lead and became the Lead Virus or something. But that’s how we get things done and I will be damned if I think things through for once. God damn it!”

Corona Chan then spoke up, with a little worried look upon her face as she then said with a scared look and tone, “無駄に主の名前を言うなパパ！ そうでなければ、飛んで糸のモンスターはパパとして知られている処女の楽園に私たちをさせません！ 私は面白いダンスの薬のすべてを取る飛んでいるものに会いたいです！”

And then the Corona then said to Corona Chan, “That’s nice sweetie, daddy is proud that you got an A in linguistics, but right now daddy is trying to do something that’ll get us out of here.”

And then the Corona started to think and tried to think of a way out of this mess that he had put himself through. And as he tried to think and think, he just couldn’t come up with anything to save him and his two daughters. And as he was trying to concentrate while hurdling through so many feet of air you got to question why they haven’t crashed yet… hmmmm… maybe the Asians do know how to fly… hmmm, note to self, capture Asian and force him to tell you how to fly. Ok, never mind that, you don’t know anything.

As the Corona was thinking, he was muttering to himself, under his breath despite his daughters being near him and being able to hear him, “Hmmm. Now let’s see, maybe I can. No, that won’t do. Maybe we can, no, that would require me to have a pair of wings. Maybe I can, no, I don’t have that paid off or have the illegal’s to do that.”

And then after a few seconds more of silence and his daughters waiting in anticipation, wanting to know what their father’s solution to this situation was, the Corona then said out loud to them both, “I GOT IT!”

Ebola Chan then had a smile of hope and wonder form on her face very quickly as she looked towards her father and wondered and asked him, “So, what’s the plan then dad?”

The Corona paused for a few seconds as a few seconds of silence was in between then, and after seconds more had passed, the Corona then finally spoke up and said to both of his daughters in such a cheerful and whimsical tone, “WE ARE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIIIIIIEEEEE!!!”

And then they all started to scream in unison with a face of terror and inevitable death upon their faces and brows. Well except for Corona Chan, she had a smile of happiness and delight… probably some weird Asian thing going on there. And as the three were screaming in terror, knowing they were going to die, they finally started to lose traction in the air and was about to fall on to the ground and die a pretty lame way I must say.

Seriously, if you were going to die, at least go out in style. Falling down is just a lame way to go, just like the people who wanted to fly by jumping from the World Trade Centers. But let’s be honest here, they wanted to create 9/11 2 and god said no so he didn’t give them the ability to fly… and that’s why they fell… to their deaths. But at least they tried, unlike these fuckers over here. Anyways, as they were quickly descending to the ground, a weird portal thingy opened up right before them, probably a glitch you could say, wide open and right in their direction.

And it happened all so fast that they didn’t have the time to process it all in their minds. And as they went through the portal, they ended up back in the Corona’s shitty apartment back on Earth, just how they started to begin with. And as they landed back into the apartment, they rolled out on to the hard shitty, cum stained wooden floor, as their butts and back hit against a wall. All the mean while, the portal that had appeared to save them from out of nowhere then suddenly disappeared. Who knows, maybe it was an act of god… or not.

And as the three landed, safely, with some minor bruises of course, the Corona then said out loud, “Oh wow, what a very nice little coincidence that the portal that opened up brought us back into our home. Unless… this isn’t our home!”

The two daughters were still on the floor as the Corona had gotten up and was slightly levitating off the floor as usual, with Corona Chan being face down and a little hurt while Ebola Chan was on her back with her legs up against the wall. They both were moaning in pain a bit with Corona Chan rubbing her head and Ebola Chan trying to get up.

They did so without too much of a struggle and as Ebola, who had a bit of a worried, but glum look on her face, she said to the Corona, “Of course we’re back dad. This is our apartment.”

The Corona then asked her daughter Ebola Chan, “Are you sure about that sweetie. Cause Daddy thinks we have entered… AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION THAT SUSPICIOUSLY LOOKS LIKE OUR APARTMENT, BUT REALLY IT’S PART OF A COMPUTER SIMULATION TO TRY AND TRICK US AND GET OUR BLOOD!”

He had said that with a bit of an echoing tone, like it was some massive reveal or something, like something big and shocking. But the effect was weird… and questionable. Not sure how a living Corona ball can do that, let alone have blood. Wait, did he have blood? I guess he might have.

Anyways, after the Corona’s responded, Ebola Chan then said to her father, “Of course it is dad!”

She had said it with a ticked off look in her eyes, annoyed by her father’s recklessness and poor decision making that could have gotten them all killed.

The Corona then said, “Yeah, you’re probably right, but I swear to you sweetie, you will not regret the day I bought that lizard people readiness kit from that shady guy who usually offers some weird white powder over by the freeway that day. Sure, it was your college fund, but it was all to protect you from the lizard people.”

Ebola Chan started to become flustered and frustrated as she started to move her arms in a flaring like way as she remained even more upset towards her father.

She had then said to the Corona, “You… you… you…”

She then let out a loud sort of sigh like response, a moan and grown out of frustration, finding it difficult to find the right words to be used towards her father to describe the anger that she had towards him. And with her frustration, she stomped off towards the living room and back to her bed in the living area in anger and sat down on the mattress with her arms folded near her chest and not looking at her father.

The Corona, confused as to what was going on, then followed her daughter there shortly after, with Corona Chan following suite with a worried look as she started to mess with her fingers playing and putting both index fingers and pointing at each other… or whatever that’s called. Look, when you’re in pony land here and don’t spend time with hands too much, you forget the terms too, so lay off… because I know ya. I see ya. I know what you did… you dirty son of a bitch. Anyways, she was doing it because she was a little nervous as to what was going on.

As the Corona and Corona Chan went into the living room, the Corona then asked Ebola Chan, “What’s the matter sweetie? Is it the whole lizard people thing? Look I know it was your college fund and stuff. But you got to look at the long term here, it’s always good to prepare for the worst, and hope for the worst, cause that lizard people readiness kit wasn’t cheap you know.”

Ebola Chan just didn’t look at her father anymore, she looked towards the dirty, grime filled, and filthy wall as it looked a lot more appealing to her than to look at her own father. She was giving him the silent treatment for a bit. The Corona however, took the silence as a response, despite the angered look still upon her face.

So the Corona then said, “Oooohhhhh I get it. My little baby girl is still afraid of the lizard people.”

The Corona then got close to Ebola Chan and continued the conversation the father and daughter were having.

The Corona then said to her, “Look, if you’re still afraid of the lizard people coming out of your closet, it’s alright. Daddy understands your fear. But don’t worry, once your daddy here takes over the world, I’ll make sure to put all of the lizard people into the back of the ovens. Trust me, I did my research and in order to kill the lizard people, you need to kill them from where they once came, which was in the back of the ovens… somewhere in Germany… in the 1800’s.”

Ebola Chan could no longer keep quiet as she then responded very abruptly to the Corona, “No dad! It’s not the stupid lizard people! I haven’t been afraid of them since I was six!”

She had looked straight into the Corona’s… uhh… eyes, where ever those eyes were located on him… and said with a very strong tone in her voice.

The Corona, still relaxed and calm, then said, “Ohhh… then what are upset about then sweetie?”

Corona Chan then spoke up and said to her dear sister with worry in her heart, “はい、親愛なる妹をお願いします、あなたとあなたの魂は何のエールを教えてください？ 私たちと風の神々はあなたとあなたの健康を心配しています。”

The Corona didn’t respond back, and just waited for her daughter’s response.

Ebola Chan then said in frustration, “Are you kidding me!? You almost had us killed because you sent us flying into the air! I trusted you, we trusted you!”

She had a bit of worry and a sad look in her eyes as her face changed emotions as she moved her arms outward with emotion towards her father.

The Corona however then said to Ebola Chan, “Oh come on, don’t be silly about that sweetie. That’s nothing to get upset over; I got us back all in one piece didn’t I?”

Ebola Chan then returned back into the angered look that she had and said, “You didn’t have anything planned! You said we were all going to die!”

The Corona then said, “Yeah but… it all worked out for us in the end… didn’t it?”

Ebola Chan, having enough of her father’s antics, then moaned and groaned again in frustration and immediately laid down on her back on the bed and said to him, “I wish at I was with Mom and Chad! I wish you were never my father!”

The Corona and Corona Chan both gasped in shock by Ebola Chan’s comment as Corona Chan seemed a little heartbroken and the Corona then said to her, “You don’t mean that!”

Corona Chan then also said after that, “愛するパパにどうしてそんなことを言えるんだ!?”

Ebola Chan, while staring upwards towards the ceiling, and still anger in her voice, “No, I do mean it. I wish I was with mom. She would at least let me be with my friends and go to school like a normal girl.”

The Corona then seemed to be a bit heartbroken by that response and was a little saddened by it as he looked a little down by her daughter’s own comments against him.

The Corona then said to himself, “Ohh…”

And then a firm knock came from the door and the Corona bounced back up and quickly said, “I’ll get it.”

And then the Corona floated somewhat smoothly towards the apartment’s door to open it up, and to his surprise, it was his ex wife Linda and her new husband Chad, who was still a bottle of Corona beer. A living, breathing, giant glass bottle of beer.

And Chad was just standing somewhat like an idiot while Linda who was all dressed up in formal clothing with a not so happy look on her face.

Chad said as soon as the Corona opened up the door, “Hey there sport, nice to see you again!”

He said it with a happy tone of voice, like a douchebag, but he meant it though so it wouldn’t make him a total douchebag. But it may make him a cuck though, but you got to ask the elder gods about that one. I would ask them, but they don’t return my calls. I blame the Norwegians. Anyways, Linda was just standing there, all pissed off, all with make up on her face and a suit that looked like she was ready to go to the office or something. However, the Corona didn’t question why she was all dressed up.

All he said was as soon as he saw his ex wife, “Oh look what the cat dragged in. If it isn’t my bitch of an ex wife, Linda. Came to see me eh? What do you want now Linda? Came to steal some more money from me because the divorce settlement was not enough for you? Or perhaps you can’t go without a few hours without coming to see me.”

The Corona then got a little bit close to Linda, who was still unamused by the Corona’s words, as the Corona continued to say, “You came to see me to come and see what you’re missing out on? To see what you turned down huh? Which is my penis. You miss my penis don’t you?”

Not sure if Coronas have dicks, but hey, that’s how the story goes.

Anyways, Linda was still unamused and then she said as the Corona backed off a bit from her as she said to him with a look of disgust on her face, “Ewww, it smells like you’ve been drinking.”

She then looked towards Chad and told him, “I told you that’s why he wasn’t picking up the phone, he was probably been doing nothing but drinking and sitting on his fat ass the whole month. I told you we should have came here sooner to get the girls! He probably abused them too!”

The Corona then said, “What!? I did no such thing! I love my two baby girls! Unlike you, you would probably just send them off to school instead of having them spend time with their father.”

Linda then looked at the Corona with a furious look in her eyes as she then said to him, “That’s what normal high school girls are supposed to do Corona! Not trying to help their fathers take over the world!”

The Corona then said, “Oh come on, that’s what you got to fall in love with me when we first met.”

Linda however then responded with, “I didn’t think you meant it literally. I thought you had an actual job and actually did something with yourself. Not chasing your weird fantasies!”

The Corona also too started to become frustrated like his daughter Ebola Chan, and speaking of which, Ebola Chan had sat back up on the bed and was paying attention to the conversation by this point. And as the arguments were flying back and forth between their two parents, both Ebola Chan and Corona Chan started to get looks of worry as to what was going on and what was being spoken of.

Anyways, the Corona was starting to lose it so he then moved on with, “Ok whatever Linda. Wh- What’s up with this whole month shit? I literally last saw you a few hours ago back at the police station after you bailed me out. Starting to lose your memory now too you bitch?”

Linda, who had her hands on her hips then said, “That was last month Corona! We’ve been trying to call you and let you know about the court date!”

The Corona was then confused, yet worried as he asked, “Court date? What court date?!”

Linda then explained, “The court date to go in front of the judge to see who takes the kids? My lawyer sent you a letter in the mail about it. But I guess you were too much into your precious booze to even notice that. Is that why you haven’t been taking our calls, to try and avoid it and to take away my kids?”

Linda then let herself in and walked sternly passed her ex husband and towards Ebola Chan and Corona Chan.

As she did, the Corona followed his eyes with Linda as he then explained to her, “Linda, I don’t even know what you’re talking about. We weren’t even here this entire time. It literally only has been just a few hours for us!”

Linda then turned around and looked towards the Corona angrily, and asked him, “And tell me Corona, where did you take my daughters to?”

She then started to tap her foot as she was wearing some cheap looking high heels and tapping the high heel on the dirty wooden floor that probably had some unknown disease on it or something.

As she waited for an answer, there was a bit of silence in the air for a few seconds… until the Corona then spoke up and said to her, “Well we uhhh… went to the magical land of Equestria where some magical talking ponies tried to help us and take over their world. It didn’t work out though, but the flying pony was nice towards us. Right girls?”

Linda then was disgusted by his answer as she said out loud, “It’s even worse than I thought. You have been drinking AND did some kind of dirty drug from the street! And you probably touched the girls too! I should have you arrested right now.”

She then turned her attention to her two daughters as she then made the gesture of ‘come on, let’s get out of this fucking dump,’ as she then said to the two girls, “Come on, we’re leaving. You’re not spending a second more with this slob.”

Corona Chan then said out loud, out of worry and sadness, “しかし、私はあなたの貴重なパパを残したくありません！ 私たちは彼と一緒にいたい！”

Ebola Chan then looked towards her mother, despite the reserves that she had for her own father, with a worried look on her face as well, “Yeah, do we even get a say in this? We’re almost adults.”

Linda however was not having any of it as she then said, “No, you girls just don’t know any better yet! Now come on, we’re leaving this filthy god forsaken place!”

Linda then took a firm grip to both of the daughter’s arms and then dragged them along with her as she exited the apartment.

As she was leaving, she said to herself out loud, “You’ll stay with us until this is settled later today. Hopefully the judge has some sense to not side with your father. At least with us, you’ll have a normal life.”

Linda then looked at the Corona and said to him with spite, “And just so you know, the time you have to be at the courthouse is at 3. If I were you, I wouldn’t come at all.”

And then she exited the dirty apartment and headed into the hallways as Chad then said to the Corona, as he was just standing there… floating…, “Well good talking to you sport! See you around buddy!”

And then Chad walked off with Linda and as he was walking beside her, he said, “Come on honey! Let’s take the kids for a Sunday Drive!”

Linda however then said as she was dragging the two kids behind her, with a bit of resistance, “Shut up Chad.”

And Chad responded with his happy tone as usual, “Okay!”

As for the Corona, he was just standing there, with the door left open and all alone like his dick was limp and had came too early into a girl, and was left with his dick in his hands and with blue balls.

And with that, he said as soon as they left to himself, “Well shit…”

And then from out of nowhere, a crazy looking hobo son of a bitch came out with a book all with a crazy black hair that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in months and smelled of fish came out to the Corona with a bible in his hands.

He looked crazy, but he went up to the Corona and asked him, “Oh good, you’ve finally opened up the door.”

The Corona then asked him, “Who are you?”

The crazy guy then said to him, “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for over a month. But now that your door is open, wouldn’t you like to hear the good word of Jehovah witnesses and our lord and savior, Bejebus Christ? It’ll only take forever.”

And with that, the Corona was screaming on the inside, just like the rest of us when this happens. Just remember, it’s a life lesson, don’t ever open up the door for the Jehovah witnesses. They never go away and will hunt you down until you do. And when you do show signs of weakness, they will never want to leave your home until you’re one of them. And by then… it’s too late…

LATER THAT DAY IN TOWN…

So it was a few more hours later that day, as the Corona was out and about in the town and had stopped by The Male Store. It was a clothing store for… well males. Kind of like a Men’s Warehouse, but whatever. He was there later that day before the time that he had to arrive at the court house as he was there to try and to borrow a suit on the cheap. He wanted to try to look a little spiffy at least in front of the judge, but he was having some trouble in there.

Let’s see, where could I start off at, ok, so the Corona was saying out loud almost loud enough to where you could hear it outside of the store, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T ACCEPT MY KIND HERE!?”

The Corona was having a fit towards the tailor and the manager of the place, who both were Italian by the way and spoke in a generic Italian like voice.

The Tailor then said to the Corona, “I didn’t say we didn’t accept your kind here. I just said we don’t accept your size here.”

The Corona then asked, “Well why the fuck not then!?”

The tailor then said to him, “Well uhhh… it’s because of your… unique shape…”

He then gave a little nervous laugh, almost as if he didn’t want to offend him about his appearance.

However, the Corona then said to them, “Well I know I have a good looking body and all that, but you’re telling me you can’t find me a suit that could fit me!?”

The Tailor, who seemed a bit weak, but nice as his back was hunched over a bit and a little old, a grey vest with a dark grey tie and some slacks along with a measuring tape around his neck, “I’m afraid so sir. It’s not that we don’t like you, we just can’t serve you is all.”

The manager was however looking a bit pissed as he stood a little bit taller than the tailor, along with wearing a dark red vest and cream colored shirt and younger than the tailor with some greasy dark hair, as he then said out loud, “Cazio! This is starting to get on my nerves. You either buy something… OR GET OUT!”

The Corona then asked them, “Can’t you guys just… find me something. I’ve got an important appointment to go to later today and I want to make sure I’m looking my best. I can’t go looking like this.”

The tailor then looked a little confused as he then said, “Are you supposed to look like that?”

The Corona then looked at him and he said, “Of course I’m supposed to look like this! What do you think, I’m some kind of fucking animal or something?”

The tailor then paused for a moment, letting a few seconds of silence pass by them until he spoke up nervously, “Yes?”

He had said it with a nervous smile too, looking worried.

The Corona however then gave a little sigh and then started to look around the place as he then said and pointed out… somehow… towards a white suit and a red tie in the back, and asked them, “What about that one over there? That white looking thingy, that looks like that could fit me.”

The tailor then nervously said to him, while moving his hands around in gestures, “That suit is reserved for special occasions.”

The Corona then said to him, “Well this is a special occasion. I’m going in front of a judge in a little bit. You can’t lend me it just for a bit? I’ve got some toilet paper with your name on it if you do.”

However, the manager was upset as he then waved his hand towards the Corona with anger with a gesture of trying to shoo him off as he then said to him, “Don’t you get it! We don’t want your money here! GET OUT OF MY STORE!”

The tailor then put his old hands on the manager and asked him, “Calm down there boss. No need to get worked up here.”

The manager then continued to say, “This animal! This… filth thinks he can walk on in here and thinks he can look good in my suits! The ones that I made with care and passion! I will spit on him!”

And then the manager hacked up a spit and spat on the ground in anger.

The manager continued to rant on, “This is a disgrace to the shop! What would the late owner of this place think huh!? He would be disgraced, heartbroken that some, some filth walked right into the store, without even respect to the suits! Cazio I say! Cazio!”

And between the two, the Corona was remaining silent between them as he then finally spoke up between the two of them, “So that would be no suit then? Not even a tie that I can rent from you guys at the very least?”

And then the Manager pointed swiftly towards the door and yelled at him, “GET OUT!”

And then so the Corona was forced to leave.

And as he was leaving the store and out on to the city side walk, he was stumbling and mumbling to himself like a jerk dick, “Stupid fucking… It-Italians. Saying that I wouldn’t look good in a suit. I’d look great in a suit. What a bunch of jerky turkey mother fuckers.”

He had been saying all of this as he was walking down the side walk, towards the court house. And as he was doing so, someone in front of him that looked slick and sly was walking in his direction. He was wearing a sly black suit, no tie with the jacket halfway buttoned with a light blue shirt underneath with a bit of his chest showing.

He was wearing black shoes and a black fedora. He even had a clean shave to his look, no beard or nothing. He had some slick looking hair that was black as well, along with some sly looking eyes. He looked calm and cool, the type of cool that you’d want to be with despite that cool guy possibly trying to steal your shit, but that’s ok cause the guy was cool and you’re fine with cool. Anyways, the guy was walking by and noticed that the Corona was talking to himself as he decided to look up as he was looking down at the ground all cool and sly like as he was walking.

And as he did, a little smile formed on his face as he then spoke up with a cool, slick and sly, a little deep tone in his voice as he then said to the Corona, “Is that you Corona?”

The Corona then stopped in his tracks, as so did the guy, as he then asked, “I’m sorry, but do I know you?”

The slick looking guy then said to the Corona, “Of course you do, don’t you recognize me?”

The Corona then took a few seconds to look at him, but nothing was coming to mind as he then said to him, “Sorry, I don’t recognize you. You probably got some other guy mixed up with me.”

The slick looking guy then said as he put a hand to his chest and made a whole bunch of gestures as he was talking to him with his hands, “Come on, you don’t remember me at all? My name is Komo, Komo Atatsu. At least that’s the nick name that you gave me as a joke.”

The Corona however then said to Komo, “Sorry, still not ringing a bell.”

Komo then said calmly and still coolly, “Oh come on man, we used to work together. We were best buds and hanged out almost all the time years ago. You even gave me my nickname when we were on that job in Japan. We met back in college, remember?”

The Corona however then said to Komo, “Look, you’re going to have to jog my memory here, I’m old ok. I forget a lot of things. I do a lot of old people stuff now you know?”

Komo then said to the Corona, “What, don’t tell me that you’ve forgot?”

The Corona then had to think for a second about it as he then said, “Uhhhhh….”

And as he was trying to remember, he was recalling flashbacks during his college days where he and Komo would go to parties and drink all of the beer they could drink as they both partied like animals, with the Corona jumping on the couch, all crazy like and saying, “Woooo! I’m a fucking crazy son of a bitch! I’m going to take over the world one day! I’m an animal! Woooo!”

And after remembering that little flash back with Komo in it, he stopped his droning of saying, “Uhhhh…”

and finally said to Komo, “Oh yeah, how’s it going?”

Komo then with an even bigger smile on his face that was even more slick and sly than before, then said to him, “That’s the Corona that I remember. Speaking of which, still trying to ‘take over the world’?”

The Corona then hesitated a bit to answer his question, but he then spoke up and said to him, “Uhhh… well it’s not going that great actually to tell you the truth. I haven’t had much luck trying to take over the world and have failed many times. But I’m still not giving up though… just having trouble is all.”

Komo, with still a hopeful smile on his face, a slick one at that, said to him, “Well don’t worry about it Corona. You’ll find your footing one day in this world. Just be patient and the world will be your oyster”

The Corona then said to him, “Sure… whatever… So how it’s it going for you?”

Komo then said with a bit of enthusiasm in his voice, “Well it’s going fine for me. I’m a free lancer here and there, and recently I snagged me a pretty good job. But I can’t tell ya, it’s a super secret.”

He had said it in a cool kind of way as he had put his right index finger towards his mouth and gave him a wink in a sly kind of way.

Komo then continued to say, “But enough about me. How’s the family life going for you? I bet the girls have grown since the last time I saw them years ago. I bet they would want to see their uncle Atatsu again huh?”

The Corona, hesitant again, then said to him, “Yeah… about that… it’s not going so great with them. Linda divorced me a few months back and is with this new douchebag named Chad. And now she wants to take the girls away from me too.”

Komo, with a slight disappointed look on his face, but a still sly like, said to him, “Well that’s a shame. Do you want to get a drink over at the bar and talk to me about it?”

The Corona then said to him, “That would be great but, I’ve got to get to the courthouse. I’m supposed to be going in front of the judge to try and get custody of my kids back.”

Komo, with still a sly look on his face, “Well good luck to you then Corona. Hopefully it all works out for you in the end. Maybe you can tell me how it goes when we see each other again, perhaps over a drink or two. Well, see you around Corona.”

The Corona then said to him as he was walking away, “See you around too… guy…”

And as soon as Komo was out of distance, he said to himself, “Huh… funny I don’t remember him. But then again I do a lot of trying to take over the world things. But then again he was crazy in college. Cool guy though.”

And the Corona was off to the court house. And as he walked on the side walk, barely anyone was in town, despite it being mid day by that point. And as he was walking past shops, a car every now and then would pass by him. It was quiet and contempt. It was kind of nice, but kind of depressing at the same time in a way. But the Corona wasn’t worried about the town that he was in as he was worried about getting his kids back from his ex wife.

And soon he came up to a cross walk, despite no cars coming by, but the light to walk or not was at a hard, solid red. So the Corona went up to the pole and pressed the button and sat there and waited for the light turn green… despite no cars passing him by. And then he sat there, waiting, and waiting, with no one else around. And then a mother in a yellow sun dress and her little boy that was being held by the hand came and stood right next to the Corona. And they too remained silent and was waiting for the light to turn green. And as they were waiting, the little boy looked up with a hopeful smile towards the Corona and started to giggle a bit.

And the Corona noticed as he too looked back at him… somehow… as he just stared back right at the kid.

And after a few seconds of just staring at each other, the little boy tugged at his mother’s yellow dress as he then pointed towards the Corona, “Mommy, mommy, look! That man looks funny!”

The Corona then said to the kid dead straight as the kid looked back towards him, “Don’t think twice kid. I’ll come and get you in your sleep while you’re not looking twice.”

He had said that with the thought in his mind to strike fear into the heart and soul of the kid, to prepare the next generation so that he would be ready for when he dominates the world and they can be easily be manipulated to do his evil bidding as the world’s leader.

However after he said that to the kid, the mother gave him a firm slap across his face, as she was disgusted with him as the little boy started to cry in tears.

After she did that to him without a word, the Corona then said to her, “Bitch.”

And then a nearby church bell was ringing and it finally came to his attention that he didn’t know what time it was. So he looked around, wondering if there was a clock, and there was a big one nearby. And what he saw was that it twenty one minutes before the court hearing.

And with that being said, the Corona saw the time and was in shock as he then said, “Oh no, I’m going to be late to the hearing!”

And then Corona made like rabbits fucking and ran across the cross walk despite the light not being green yet and started to run towards the court house. And as he did so, two cars was coming fast and they crashed and caused a little bit of chaos. Yup… hate that when that happens. Anyways, the Corona ran and ran as fast as he could… or floated I guess, whatever, as he passed by buildings and maybe a guy that was walking in town.

And as the Corona was running, he was breathing heavily, starting to run out of breath as the Corona said to himself silently, “Oh boy, I’m out of shape. I need to go to the gym more often. I am looking fucking fat. Maybe that’s why Linda left me.”

But after a few minutes of running and almost running out of the clock, he finally made it to the court house, which was big, fancy, and possibly older than your grandma. And it probably needed a lightning strike too but who knows.

THE COURT HOUSE…

Anyways, the Corona made it to the steps of the court house, just in time to try and get his kids back. The court house looked big and old and looked like it was made in the 1800’s or something… the slaves probably did it. Oh wait, you thinking those slaves, no I mean THOSE slaves… yes... the lizard people think they are clever, but not clever enough that we went back in time and enslaved their kind first… checkmate bitches. Anyways, as soon as the Corona entered through the decently sized big doors to the court house, he had entered through it and the lobby area was a big circle area, with the floor being made out of all white marble.

And the walls were lined with columns with in between those columns were doors to other areas of the building. Some upstairs, some down stairs, and some to the gift shop. Every place needs a gift shop, even the holocaust. And the whole place was topped off with a big ol’ dome with glass windows letting the light shine in as the Corona ran across that light, rushing to get over to the court room. And that light was probably kind of warm too as he ran over that light.

Well, the Corona made it to the court room that was on the other end of the big circle area, and as soon as he made it, the doors were closed and the Corona stopped in his tracks as he then stopped to catch his breath and gave a sigh of relief as he then said to himself quietly, “Whew… made it just in time.”

But before he could enter the room, he was stopped by three Chinese mother fuckas behind him. They were all male, kind of short, all in black business suits with red ties, with one of them having a little Asian mustache, one of them with glasses, and the other one with neither of the two other descriptions. The one leading it was the normal looking Asian, the one without the mustache or glasses. The other two followed behind him, carrying briefcases, and they looked mighty pissed.

Well, the main Chinese motha fucka stopped the Corona before he could enter by saying to him, “Hold it right there Mr. Covid.”

The Corona then said as he then turned around to see who it was with a bit of a surprise in his voice, “Mr. Covid? I haven’t been called that in ages. Who are you guys?”

The main Chinese motha fucka then said to the Corona, “We’ve gotten word of your recent actions Mr. Covid, and just so you are aware of it, Mao isn’t too happy.”

The Corona then remained a little bit confused as to what he was talking about.

The Corona said to the Chinese motha fucka, “Mao? Isn’t that guy dead or something, or whatever. Look if you’re worried about the whole being in that kids room, it’s fine. I’m taking care of it, just give me some time; I’ll be back in that kids room to shut him up. At least that’s what they do in the movies.”

And for the record Mao was dead, but hey, these Chinese dream of him nightly and dream of jerking him off every other day in their Chinese poems so go figure.

Anyways, the main Chinese motha fucka, still looking pissed and speaking with a stereotypical Chinese accent in his voice, sort of high pitched, “Just keep your ass in line Mr. Covid. You don’t want anything bad happening today, do you?”

He had said it with intimidation in his voice, but the Corona wasn’t easily manipulated as he then said to him, “Whatever dude. Just let me do the talking in there, I know a few words to make the judge slide my way, if you know what I’m talking about. Yeah… the ol’ bribery of three whole bags of pizza rolls. And it’s from 2001. Vintage”

The Corona had gotten a little close to the Chinese motha fucka when he said that to him. But the Chinese motha fucka was unamused by his words as he then said to him while looking all stiff and Asian like, “Oh I bet you do Mr. Covid. You better watch the words that you say in there, or else we’re going to have to get all Great Leap Forward all over your fucking ass.”

And then there was silence between the two, and it looked like the Corona was trying to take in the threat, trying to analyze it and see what would be the next, smart response to him.

But in the end after a few seconds had passed, the Corona then just simply said to the guy, “Ok.”

And then the Corona opened up the wooden double doors of the courthouse, dark brown wood I should say, and waltzed right on in. And as he did so, his ex wife, along with Chad and their old fart bag lawyer was sitting on their left side, with the right side being empty, reserved for the Corona. And Ebola Chan and Corona Chan were sitting right behind Linda as well, looking worried about what was going to happen next while also looking a little sad too. Seemed that Ebola Chan didn’t think twice about her wish, huh? Huh? Huh…. Huh? Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh….. Huh…

Anyways, but for some reason all the way in the back on the right side was a mysterious man in a light brown duster coat and detective hat that was covering his face, along with a white shirt and tie, sitting where the audience would be sitting at… all alone and laid back with his feet put up on the seating in front of him and his elbows pulled back.

And as the Chinese motha fuckas were walking past him to take their seats behind the lawyer of the ex wife, the Corona stopped in his tracks as he noticed the mysterious man and couldn’t see his face. However he could see his mouth and that he had a sort of long, pointy, almost cartoon like beard that was a little reddish, but not quite. And from the judgment of the mouth, he didn’t look too pleased to be there. And the Corona was suspicious of him, not sure why a man like that would be there for that kind of a court case.

So he went towards the mysterious man as the man didn’t look like he was paying attention and was instead in his own little world, and asked him, “Uh… excuse me but uhh… do I know you?”

The mysterious man then said with a rough and scuffed voice, “Don’t worry about it.”

The Corona still concerned then asked him, “Yeah but… why are you here? Are you supposed to do something here today or…”

The mysterious man then cut him off and said to him, “I said don’t worry about it. It’s none of your damn business to know why I’m here. Just pretend I don’t exist.”

The Corona, hesitant to say anything back to him, said, “Uhhh.. ok then… well… bye… I guess…”

And all the mysterious man said in response was a little rough grunt as the Corona was walking to his seat up in the front.

As the Corona was walking to the front, Ebola Chan then said with a little worry but a bit of hope in her voice, but with a mostly worried look, “Dad!”

Corona Chan also said after Ebola Chan spoke up, “ああパパ! またあなたに会うのは千年になると思った！”

She had said it in the same way as her sister did.

The Corona then responded to them as he was walking to his seat on the right, “Don’t worry girls, daddy will get you out of this mess, don’t worry.”

The Chinese motha fucka leader had said underneath his breathe after the Corona had said that, “We’ll see about that…”

Of course the Corona didn’t hear that, but who gives a shit, I’m still questioning how it can have simple human functions despite not being human, but who cares, just roll with it.

Anyways, the judge was already sitting in his big ol’ high chair in the center, who was a simple man in his forties or something, wore some glasses, and was wearing the black robe attire and all, along with a simple police officer standing by in case anything were to happen. Nothing special, the same ol’ same ol, and as for the rest of the court room, it was just a typical court room with some red carpeting and no one else in sight since this was just a simple case of who gets the kid.

And as the judge, who seemed to have been tired and wearied, gave a little sigh and asked the Corona, “So I’m assuming you’re the father then?”

The Corona then said as he was sitting down, “That’s right your honor.”

And the judge then said, “And where’s your lawyer at may I ask?”

The Corona then said, “Well uhhh… I can’t afford one so I thought I’d just wing it you know? You ever wing it in court judge?”

The judge then simply responded to him as if he was dead every day on the inside… just like the rest of us…, “Every time. But no need for a lawyer here Corona Virus. We’re just here to talk. I told that to your ex wife over there, but she seemed adamant that she had to have a lawyer with her.”

The Corona then responded with, “It’s just the Corona sir. Corona Virus was my father’s name. And I get it; Linda is a hard ass and doesn’t listen, just like when we were married. Always had to have it her way!”

The Corona looked over in spite, and as he spotted their lawyer like I said, it was an old guy with some big pair of glasses, in a light grey suit and tie.

The Corona was a bit confused by this as he then questioned Linda, who was also looking back in spite towards him, “Hey, I thought our lawyer was a she?”

The ex wife then explained to the Corona, “I got a different one since the last time we saw each other, but of course you wouldn’t know that since you never picked up the phone!”

The judge then interrupted them and said out loud, “Sounded like a fun relationship.”

He had said it with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

He then continued to say to the both of them, “Ok then, let’s get the show on the road and be out of here in thirty, the Mrs. is making steak tonight.”

The Corona got up from his seat abruptly and yelled out, “Agreed! Now I would like to call my first witness to the stand!”

The judge was shocked by this has his mouth was opened in surprise as well as being a little confused.

He had said to the Corona “Wh- What? This isn’t that kind of a case.”

The Corona, who then started walking towards the judge a little bit, “Oh but it is now your honor. I must prove that I am worthy of taking my two precious daughters with me.”

Linda then also abruptly got up from her seat as she yelled towards the judge, “Objection! He’s a lousy father!”

The judge however just removed his glasses a bit off from his face as he started to rub his eyes in stress as he gave a moan and groan and said to himself, “I don’t get paid enough for this.”

He then put his glasses back on and then said without a care, “Proceed Corona. Let’s just get this over with as fast as possible.”

The Corona, who was happy, as Linda was not as she sat back down with a huff, said as he was walking around and said out loud, “I call my first witness to the stand, Fifth Chan! Even though he didn’t help me enslave his race...”

The judge then, looking tired and annoyed, “And where is this Fifth Chan?”

The Corona then started to think about it and it didn’t hit him until that moment that Forrest was nowhere nearby and was in the other universe, the one that I am in right now.

And was also currently at the time that this was happening. The Corona then just stood there and droned on with, “Uhhhhh…”

The Judge then stopped him and said, “If he isn’t nearby, then you’ll have to find another witness. I’m not spending all day here.”

The Corona then said to him, “Just give me a minute. He’ll show up, just wait.”

The Corona then went over to the witness stand as he then did a little dance, or just simply bobbing around as he then said, “Oh ooga booga… open the portal… ooga booga, let me in, let me in… uhh.. ooga booga? Bring me Fifth Chan? … Oogabooga?... “

And then there was silence for a few seconds and everyone was waiting in the court room to see if anyone would show up. And after a few seconds had passed, a random portal opened up, in a horizontal pose, and what came out the bottom end, along with a little screaming, was Forrest.

He had quickly came down through the portal, unwillingly and unknowingly, almost as if he had just gone down some kind of chute. And as he landed in the witness chair, the portal above him closed and Forrest was confused as to what had just happened. And yes, Forrest was still in pony form and in the human world. And as Forrest arrived, he had big eyes, curious as to where he was and was looking around the place.

As he was doing so, Forrest asked himself, “Where am I?”

The Corona then went up to him and asked, “Nice of you to join us… Fifth Chan… if that’s your real name!?”

The Corona had gotten a little close to Forrest’s face when he had said that to him.

And as for Forrest, he then simply said, all calm, but not exactly happy, just mellowed out and worried, “My name is Forrest… and didn’t I see you a month ago?”

The Corona then said, “Yeah that was me. I couldn’t think of anyone else to defend me, but that’s beside the point.”

The Judge then gave another sigh of being dead on the inside as he then looked towards Forrest, unphased that he was a talking, Technicolor talking pony and all, and asked him, “I would have the officer here get the bible, but I don’t know where it’s at. And frankly I’m too lazy to go find it these days. Just answer this, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth or so help you god?”

Forrest then was caught off guard by the question as he hesitated to answer and said, “Uhhhh… yes? What am I saying yes to exactly?”

The judge then said, “Close enough. Proceed Corona.”

The Corona then said to the judge, “Thank you your honor.”

The Corona then started to walk back and forth near Forrest as he then started to question him.

The Corona asked Forrest, “So Fifth Chan…”

Forrest then corrected the Corona and said to him, “It’s Forrest.”

The Corona then said to him, “Whatever. So Forrest, would you say that I am the best father there ever was, especially towards my two little princesses over there, right behind my bitch of a wife?”

The Corona… somehow... pointed towards his ex wife so Forrest could see. And Forrest saw them, still confused but rolling along with everything. As for the two girls they were looking onward, waiting to see how this all played out, but still worried though. And at the time, the old man lawyer for Linda was sleeping in his chair, with his head slumping forward.

And with that in mind, the leader of the Chinese motha fuckas quickly grabbed the old lawyer guy, pulled him back of the seating, and broke his neck as well as quickly taking his clothes and disguising himself as the ex wife’s lawyer, while putting tape near his eyes to look more American. And no one was paying attention to that. Back to Forrest, he had to think about the question that was asked of him.

And as he put his head upwards and put his right hoof to his chin and thought about it for a while, he then responded to the Corona, “Yeah, I would say so.”

He had said it too with a hopeful smile. The Corona then said to Forrest, “And please Forrest, please explain to my fucking whore of what used to be my wife, but now is scum of the earth to me, how I am the best father.”

Forrest then said, with still a smile on his face, “Well, when you came to Stalia, you seemed to stick by them and was trying to teach them. Sure, they didn’t look too happy to be with you, but from what I can understand, you just wanted to try to take over the world so you could provide for your family… I think. And at the end, when you were sad that your plans weren’t working out, your daughters came by your side and was there to support you. And just seeing that seemed like you were one big happy family.”

He had said that all with a smile.

And then quickly after he had said that with a smile, that smile disappeared into a worried one as he then asked him, “Can you send me back home now?”

The Corona ignored that last question as he then said to the judge, “I rest my case.”

The Corona then went and sat back down at his seat over on the right side of the room, and Forrest, not sure what was happening to him right then and there, got out of his seat and sat right next to the Corona as well. And throughout the whole thing, he just sat there, quite, waiting to see if he would go back home or not.

And soon as the two sat down, the judge then said, “Well look, this is starting to drag on, let’s just come down to a rational compromise and…”

The Chinese motha fuck leader that had killed the old lawyer soon shot up and raised his left hand as he then yelled at the judge, “OBJECTION! WE CALL OUR WITNESS TO THE STAND!”

The judge then looked at the lawyer and asked him, “Hey, do you look different?”

The Chinese motha fucka leader then said with the best American accent that he could muster, “Uhhh, of course not. I am a big fat American with big fat American penis just like the rest of you. I eat at McDonalds and give myself diabetes every other day and support the glorious government of China and support Mao and Communist China as I continue to buy their shitty products from them every day like the fat American that we are all are. Am I right my fellow American?”

The judge, knowing that something was up, just didn’t care anymore and just gave a sigh as he then said to him, “Fine, whatever. What’s your witness?”

The Chinese motha fucka then pointed towards the Corona and yelled out loud, “I call Mr. Covid to the stand!”

As soon as the Corona heard his name pop up, he too shot up from his seat and said, “ME!? …….. ok…”

And then he calmly went up to the witness stand and sat down as the Chinese motha fucka walked up towards him. And soon the Chinese motha fucka leader asked the Corona, “So Mr. Covid. Can I ask you what do you do for your occupation? Is it working to make sure the glorious communist government of china will become the world’s super power and one day rule the world?”

The Corona then calmly responded with, “Uhh, no I do not sir.”

The Chinese motha fucka then asked him, “Then tell me Mr. Covid, what do you do then? What income do you get that you think you could provide for your two beautiful girls that we could so sell on black market for a good price?”

The Corona then answered him, “Oh well I uhh… try to take over the world. Try to achieve world domination. Although it hasn’t panned out though, but one day it will.”

The Chinese motha fucka then jumped up quickly while pointing at him and said, “AH HA! YOU SEE YOUR HONOR! HE’S A FREELANCER, HE HAS NO STABLE INCOME AND PROVES THAT HE ABUSES HIS DAUGHTERS THAT CHINA SHOULD BE ABUSING INSTEAD! AND HE IS IN DIRECT COMPETTION WITH CHINA AS WELL, WHICH IS UNACCEPTABLE!!! I rest my case.”

The Chinese motha fucka then went and sat back down at his seat as the Corona was still sitting there as he then said to himself, “Oh fuck, this lawyer is good. Fucking bitch, getting all the best lawyers, with my half of the money.”

The Corona then looked up at the judge and asked him, “Can we take five please, so me and Forrest can talk things over.”

The judge then gave another dead on the inside sigh and said to himself, “This is never going to end.”

He then said to the Corona, “Alright, take five.”

The Corona then said under his breath, “Thank god.”

And then the Corona got out of the witness seat and was walking towards the entrance doors as he then signaled Forrest to follow him… somehow… And Forrest then followed him by using his wings and flew out of the room with him.

And as soon as the two were outside of the court room together, he then said to Forrest, “Oh fuck Forrest, this is bad. I thought we had it in there, but that bitch Linda just had to get that kind of a lawyer. I tell you, those lawyers are just too good damn it. You know the government uses those types of lawyers I hear.”

Forrest, who was more worried about getting back to Equestria, was just hovering above the Corona, but not too high up, and was looking down at him and said to him, “I don’t mean to bother you and all, but… when can I go back home?”

The Corona then said to him, “What? Oh yeah yeah, sure sure. After this case, I’ll send you back.”

Forrest, with a big, hopeful smile on his face, said to the Corona, “Really?”

The Corona, who was looking away from Forrest, at least the best that I can tell that is, and said to him, “Yeah sure, whatever. Let’s just focus on getting my daughters back. Ok so you’re my lawyer, what do you suggest since we’re fresh out of witnesses?”

Forrest then went back into a worried look on his face as he then said to the Corona, “But I’m not your lawyer though.”

The Judge then yelled out as loud as he could from the court room, “THAT’S FIVE YOU GUYS, COME BACK IN SO WE CAN FINISH THIS UP!”

The Corona then said to himself, “Oh we are so screwed now.”

And so the two headed back through the wooden double doors and straight back to their seats, with no fuss or nothing.

And as soon as they both took their seats, the judge looked at them straight in the eyes and asked them, “So, you got anything to present to me?”

The Corona then stood up and said, “I uhhh… regret to inform you your honor that me and my lawyer here are fresh out of ideas. So the answer is no.”

And then the Corona sat back down quickly as the judge then responded with under his breath, “Thank fucking god.”

He then looked towards the Chinese motha fucka and asked him, “What about you, anything else or can we be reasonable adults here and make a decision on who keeps the children?”

The Chinese motha fucka then stood up with a little anger in his eyes as he then said to the judge, “We have one more witness to call to the stand. I call Steve Jones to the stand!”

And then the Chinese motha fucka pulled out a puppet that looked like Pinocchio from what looked like his Asian ass, went up to the stand and put the puppet down. And as soon as he did, he started walking back and forth, and for some reason the puppet started to move and talk. What a shocker. And it was in a Chinese high pitch tone of voice too.

Well, the Chinese motha fucka started to ask Jones, “So Steve Jones, tell us how long you have been knowing Mr. Covid here.”

Steve Jones then said “I’ve known him since high school! And in high school he touched me inappropriately! And he wore black face too!”

The Chinese motha fucka then said, “The nerve of this guy. And tell us what else Steve Jones.”

Jones then started to point towards the Corona with a pissed off look as he continued to say, “Well he’s also a pedophile, adopted a black kid, raped a hooker that I sure did not pay to frame him, is a Christian, and worked with the Russians. The Russians I say, the Russians! And he doesn’t like China and thinks there is a genocide going on, which is fake news! Seig Heil Mao!”

And with that the puppet did a little Hitler salute, but for Mao.

And with that being said, the Chinese motha fucka then said to everyone, “I rest my case.”

And he then sat back down with a smirk on his face, thinking that he had won.

However the judge was not moved by this as he then was starting to get real annoyed by all of this madness as he then said, “Alright, this is ridiculous! Look, I’m going to go to the john and while I’m gone, I want you all to come down to a decision or I’m going to make it for you.”

And so the judge, who probably shouldn’t be leaving for the bathroom, left to go number one. Or five, who cares anymore, we all have problems. And the Chinese motha fuckas started to talk amongst themselves as they didn’t like the judge’s response. They thought they had it in the bag for sure as the leader turned around towards his other two companions to talk it over.

The leader motha fucka said, “I don’t think he bought the accusations.”

The one with the mustache then slowly brought up a knife and said, “Do you want me to kill him and blow up his daughter’s boyfriend car with thermite?”

The leader motha fucka then said, “No, we need to save that for someone else.”

Then the glasses motha fucka started to take out some paper with some forged signatures and said, “Do we rig…”

The leader motha fucka was quickly to shoot him down as he then said to him, “No you idiot! Keep it down, that’s for later when we rig Antarctica Election. Those damn emperor penguins are going to wish they didn’t call themselves emperor by the time we’re done with them. No… I’m going to pay our little judge friend a little visit.”

IN THE BATHROOM.

Yeah so a little bit afterwards, the judge was taking a piss over at the urinal stalls and as he was finishing up, the Chinese leader motha fucka showed up with both his hands behind his back and asked him, “So your honor, have you thought who should take the kids.”

The judge then said to him after giving him a sigh, “Haven’t talked it out yet huh? Well look, I’m just going to hand it to the Corona guy ok.”

As the judge went over to wash his hands, the Chinese motha fucka then asked him, with a bit of anger, “And why him?”

The judge then said, “I don’t know, he seems an alright guy. The daughters didn’t seem to have a problem with him before. And frankly, I rather not deal with the paper work and just keep the kids with the current parent. Besides, the girls are in their teens, I think they should be with their father anyways if you ask me.”

As the judge was finishing up, he looked over at the Chinese motha fucka, with a dead on the inside look as he then said to him, “Oh well, that’s too bad. It’s such a shame that we will have to tell the whole town about your little secret.”

The judge didn’t like where this was going as he then asked, “What are you getting at?”

The Chinese motha fucka then had a little smirk on his face as he then said to him as he got closer to him, “Oh you know... the little thing that you did… five years ago. After you got drunk… remember that night your honor.”

The judge started to look nervous, scared even as he soon remembered what he was talking about.

He then asked the Chinese motha fucka, “Oh please god don’t do it.”

The Chinese motha fucka then said to him, “Either give the custody of the kids over to Linda or…”

And then the Chinese motha fucka cut himself off as he then went over to the judge’s ears and started to whisper what he was going to do and say to the whole town.

And as he was speaking, the judge’s jaw dropped to the floor, in shock and in disgust what he was saying to him. He was shaken to his inner core with what he was being told.

BACK IN THE COURT ROOM…

As everyone was waiting for the judge to come back, the Corona was talking over with Forrest his next move.

He was saying to him, “Alright so when the judges comes back, that’s the backup plan in case he doesn’t accept my final offer.”

Forrest then said, “But… but isn’t that wrong?”

The Corona then said to him, “Wrong? Who gives a fuck about that? I just want my kids back.”

Forrest then said to him, “Yeah but…”

However Forrest quickly got cut off as the judge walked back into the room very quickly as he then got up into his high chair and grabbed the gravel with a firm grip in his hand with a look as if he had just seen a ghost.

The Corona then got up and started to walk towards him as he then said, “Oh good, you’re back. Look, if you can just give me full custody of my kids, I can give you…”

However the judge didn’t care as he then slammed the gravel as much as he could and as loud as he could as he said to the court room, “GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY! “

The Corona then asked, “What?”

The judge then said, “I hereby grant full custody to Linda and Chad with the Corona not being allowed to see them ever again.”

The Corona, who was confused as to what just happened, then asked him, “But wait, what about the witness that I have you and…”

The judge however cut him off again and was quickly getting out of his seat and said to him, “Sorry but I’ve got to go. That’s my final order… ok?”

And then the judge headed straight to the door and didn’t look back. And soon, he was out of there.

And as Linda had a big ol’ smile on her face and was dragging the kids away, the Chinese motha fuckas were celebrating and were giving each other high fives as they were saying, “Yeah, we did it again! Mao would be proud!”

And the puppet, almost from out of nowhere came out and gave a little Hitler salute and said, “Seig Heil Mao!”

And as the two girls were being dragged out very quickly, Ebola Chan said to her dad, “Dad, please do something! I’m sorry I said that I wished that you weren’t my father! I really do!”

And Ebola Chan also said as she was being dragged out of the court room by their mother, following Chad behind them, “パパ助けてください! 私たちは、あなたが私たちをあなたの愛する抱擁に戻すことを神々に祈ります！ 私たちはあなたパパを欠場します！”

And for the Corona, he was stunned. He was frozen still, not sure what to do of it all, he had lost, yet it seemed like that was impossible. Something was up, he could feel it, yet he didn’t have time to think it all through as he then quickly went after his girls that were almost out of the building by then. As for Forrest he followed suite, as both exited the court room. As for the mysterious man, he just sat there like he was doing the entire case and gave a little grunt as he watched as the Corona zoomed out of there.

And he then said to himself, “What a fucking job that I have on my hands.”

As for the Corona, he was losing the girls and didn’t see them in the lobby. But he ran forward anyways and quickly went through the main doors of the building. And as he did, he saw his two precious girls in the back of their mother’s car, looking out the window with big, sad puppy dog eyes.

And as they were driving off, he yelled out to them, “EBOLA CHAN! CORONA CHAN! NOOOOOO!”

But it was too late as they were out of the building and out of sight.

And as the Corona stood on top of the steps, all alone and lost and without his children by his side, he looked upwards towards the sky and yelled out, as if he was talking to god himself, “I Swear I’ll get you back one day. I swear I’ll see you one day. I SWEAR TO YOU LINDA, I’LL GET THEM BACK YOU BITCH!!!”

And in a way, he was shaking his fist as well, all in anger and rage.

And as he was busy looking up at the sky, Forrest came up behind him, still with a worried look on his brow, and asked him, “So… can I go home now?”

And that’s it for that one. What, you want me to tell the whole fucking thing, well maybe next time. Now I just want to go over to Wolf and fuck with him a bit for him making me have to do this shit. Good night or whatever…

The Corona Will Return… sometime this lifetime…

UPDATE:
THIS IS AN ARCHIVED EPISODE, IT DOES OBVIOUSLY NOT COUNT TOARDS TOTAL WORD COUNT, AND IS ONLY HERE FOR ARCHIVE PURPOSES. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE RE-EDIT / NEW VERSION OF THIS EPISODE, CLICK HERE...

GOOD NIGHT...

Original:
well, i have to admit, i really did have fun writing this chapter, because i put refrences in it. did you get them all? if not, heres a hint. the refrences are the close econtors to the third kind, south park, and 80's shit. two are obvious, but the third, you would have to think about it. if you're a south park fan, you would get the refrence. you just have to think about it. also, i really do like my OC or character Knight, but othen that, the other characters or OC that i like is Neon, Jack, and Forest. i guess you can say i'm Neonlcious, Jacklicious, Forestlicious, and Knightlicious. what are your favorite characters of this story so far? comment below, let me know!!! also, i might just be doing these chapters once a week for this story. as for the other stories, they're whenever i fucking get to them.

Chapter10: The Magnificent Doucebag

Well, we finally continued with history repeating itself.

In addition, just to let you know how everybody went with his or her fake memories, it was ok. Although, Arrell has a little hazy memory of those events, but doesn’t remember it completely. If he does remember it, then I’m sorry, but I have to put him down.

Anyway, I was given a letter by Celestia, to practice some magic. She gave me something’s that I could, and I didn’t give a flaming fuck about it. Besides, doesn’t she know how powerful my magic already is?

I mean, I have over a thousand spells written and created by me. Therefore, I just ended up smoking weed while Wolf got drunk.

Just to also let you know, that I have been smoking weed a lot, and it’s not for comedic proposes, but It somewhat is relaxing. Well, for me, since I don’t get any of the damaging effects of it.

Well, all of a sudden, two colts, or I believe the correct term is colt. I don’t know. Two small boy children. Whatever. Two colts came up to my door, and told me to come and see the magnificent Harry.

I’m not kidding. That’s the Trixie pony for me. His name is fucking Harry. Of course, that sounds like Harry Potter, since he’s a unicorn and all.

There’s just one problem though. He’s not British. I mean, I always joked back on earth, that all British people are all wizards and go to Hogwarts. I also joked that Rarity had a British voice accent a little, and I just said she was a wizard. I even gave her a somewhat funny back story. She was once owned by harry Potter.

I also had one for Fluttershy as well.

The thing is with this one, is that the reason she is shy and is because she is trying to forget painful memories that she had when she was in the Vietnam War. Don’t ask where that came from.

Anyways, I got the two colts names, and they were dog and tales. That seemed to make sense. It really does if you think about snips and snails.

Well, I went to the crowd, and all my friends were there, trying to be better then Harry.

In addition, I still find the name Harry for him doesn’t fits him. From now on for the story, and this is still what I call him to this day, the magnificent Doucebag. Alternatively, just Doucebag for short.

Well, Doucebag was just like Trixie.

An arrogant fool.

He was also were beatingmy friends in their skills that they had. He then saw me, and challenged me.

I then said fuck off, and out of nowhere, a mare comes in, that wasn’t even from this town. In fact, she had an 80’s look.

The mare went up to Doucebag and said I wasn’t cool anymore and I lost the skill of magic.

I then said, “Who the fuck are you?”

Doucebag also said how I wasn’t great and magnificent like him.

Then another mare and a stallion came up beside me, and told Doucebag to leave me alone. Doucebag then said, that he will leave this town and me alone, if I challenged him to a magic contest.

The stallion then said that I would defeat him in that challenge.

I then said, “who are you ponies!? Where the fuck did you come from!?” then everybody just left.

I was told by Forest to come back in three hours.

Then wolf said to me, that I know what to do. He was right. I knew what I needed to do in this situation. And that’s by doing an 80’s movie training montage.

While I was training, I also cast a spell, where music will play in the background while doing specific things. I basically had she’s a maniac, the power of love, back in time, no easy way out, best of the best, mighty wings, burning heart, push it to the limit, the workout theme from Rocky 4, you’re the best around, hearts on fire, and we fight for love.

Yea, those a list of the songs from the 80’s that I listened to.

While that was going on, I ran up a snow covered mountain, did exercises physically, and with my magic, punched a punching bag for a while, and did other training exercises from Rocky 4.

After that was over, it was time to face Doucebag. Well, I saw him, and that mare chick who said I wasn’t good anymore was there, giving Doucebag a boner.

Well, we then started the competition, and I kicked his ass real easy.

As I said, I write my own magic very easily. In fact, that’s what I did to the completion. Most of them were just for shits and giggles, but some were pretty impressive. Not even Celestia and Luna can’t do.

By the way, since I was a human before, and if you’re wondering how do I, a regular unicorn have more power than a god like being? Well, I wondered too, but I soon found the answer, but if I told, it would spoil the fun. So in the mean time, just guess.

Anyway, one of the spells that I used, that I wrote myself, was to turn off gravity. Another one that I had was a spell that made a big flat long metal thing that covers over a city.

It’s mostly goes along with the gravity spell.

I also have another spell that goes along with the metal top one.

It’s just basically a reference.

All the spell does is give you a device, that has several buttons on it. Well, what happens is, you press one of the buttons, in a order, and its makes music. Then the big metal top responds with a deeper tone to the notes. If you haven’t guess by now, although, it was a shitty description of it. I was referencing the close encounters of the third kind movie. It’s when the humans were communicating with the mothership with the musical notes.

Well, that’s how I defeated Doucebag. Nevertheless, of course, he arrogant. He then said even though he was defeated by a worthless piece of shit, or in other words, me, he will still stay here in Stalia.

I fucking knew it. Wolf and I even betted on it, which means I fucking win, and he would owe me 20 bits.

So anyway, the strange mare chick still sticked with him, while the other two from before came up to me and said don’t worry about Doucebag and they will find a way to get him out of town. Of course, I thought, maybe they would try to prank him out of town, but I don’t konw, something 80’s I guess. So, I also said to them, “who are you ponies!? I don’t even fucking know you!”

well, later that night, Doucebag was in his trailer, while dog and tales were outside his home. They were two retards and thought maybe they could boost his popularity, by bringing an user major and I mean an user major to town, so Doucebag could defeat the major with his magic.

Well, those two idiots did just that, and Stalia was in a panic.

I then walked outside, because I was woken up by the screaming. I mean, I was having a good dream. I dreamt that… you know what. I believe when history was repeating itself, all I was dreaming was having a dream within a dream, within a dream or seven levels of dream, and all those levels of dreams had me smoking weed and drinking beer.

Now, don’t get me wrong here. I dream about other stuff too, but that was only when I wasn’t repeating episodes from the show. When it wasn’t repeating, I was dreaming about my memories in the past. Like the time when I was an Alicorn, or the Fall.

Anyway, I then saw Doucebag trying to use his magic, but he was nervous, because he didn’t know how to defeat an user major, because he said he did know how.

Well, I then walked up to the user major and I used what I call the fuck off spell. All the spell did was plant a bomb under the major’s feet, and it blasted the major away and into the Everfree forest.

Everyone cheered me on and how I sent the beast back to where it belongs.

Yea, no, I killed the beast. In fact, the timber wolves would have pliant of meat to eat. Although, I did feel bad for the user minor, because I killed its mother. But hey, at least it has food for a while, or in other words, its mother. I know that was wrong, but hey it doesn’t know. Besides, it didn’t mean I almost made the species go extinct. There were plenty of them out there.

Well, Doucebag then left in embarrassment and fled Stalia. Then the chick that was with him, came up to me, and said she was sorry she ever doubted me, and the other ones from before said how great I did and I was the best. In addition, while they were saying that, some victory 80’s music was playing in the background.

I was surprised no one noticed.

I also said, “You know what, I just give up. I just don’t understand where the fuck you ponies came from, but I just give up.”
Therefore, I then headed back to my house, and waited for episode 7 to come.

In addition, those guys never returned.

I did the right thing for giving up on it, because I think it was the universe getting back at me from trying to resist repeating history.

In addition, if you all wondered what Doucebag looked like, he was the same color as Trixie, but the mane was black, and was a male, of course.

heres those traning songs that i mentioned

(i just find this one that Knight would use to train to.)

the movie refrence, which i found, but also makes fun of.

as for the victory songs, i could only findtwo that would kind of work.

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE READING: Alright, just want to lay a few things out to all of you who reads this.
1. This is part and the start of The Ghost Saga, and the shorts take place sometime between after Season 1 and before Season 3.
2. The Ghost character is based off of someone in real life and hosts The Ghost Show over on Dlive named Ghost, so if you want to do some research on him, go for it. Or read the Outline / Plans for more information on him.
3. Guess the Minority is a game show that is a real thing that the Ghost in real life does, just so we are clear. Granted he does it over the phone lines and it's way shorter than this where he just guesses the minority of whoever is calling him, just so you know the context of the short.
4. Have a good time and I will see you some time else...
5. Ghost will be back in future shorts (Duh...)
6. I did put pictures up of Ghost and The Engineer so you can get the general idea as to what I'm thinking of. Now I did get these pictures off the web. With the Engineer I found the perfect one, but with Ghost I had to use something that was close. So while it isn't the Ghost portrayed in the short, just keep in mind it's just to get a general idea of what I'm going for.

PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE BEFORE COTINUING

Hmmm… The weather is kind of warm out today. Hmmm… Well anyways I still have to write some more of these little moments from my past. These little episodes in my life. These little half episodes from my life, like half the length of a normal episode.

It’s like every day is an episode, the morning alarm is your theme song. The crickets outside your window or cars that drive by your home is your end credit music. And the people that look at you and stare at you are the laugh track. They just stand there, stare at you and think about how ugly you are, how pathetic your life is.

You life is worthless and you can do nothing right in life. You are a useless eater as the Super Elites are planning on putting you in the back of the ovens one day up in their little super computer space station above Uranus. And as they stare at you, they are laughing at you, not with you, but at you. And there’s nothing that you can do as all you can do is stand there and watch as you are surrounded by an endless sea of people, pointing and laughing at you. And if you’re a boy, then they are probably pointing and laughing at your micro ding dong.

And all they do is laugh and laugh and laugh, yet you can’t hear the laughter, all you hear is silence and the endless sounds of the darkness that creeps into your mind every night while you try to sleep and annoy the scream of the people that you saw die in front of you. You tried to do something, tried to save them, but you couldn’t so the voices of the damned come into your room at night, wanting to take your soul away from this Earth and into the darkness of the damned!

And the laughter just keeps getting louder and louder, not being able to drown the voices of the dead people laughing at you out of your head! And then you realize that your episodes and seasons keep getting renewed season after season. You want the show to be cancelled, but God keeps renewing your contract every year, a never ending show for 70 – 100 years or more! You just want it to end! But you can’t, even when you put the barrel of the gun that you bought for such an occasion, you can’t bring yourself to pull the trigger because God won’t let you! The show must go on! You are not allowed to be free from your never ending nightmare of a show as the audience laughs and laughs and laughs! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

And then you realize you’re in Wal-mart, waiting in the very long check outlines cause only three out of one thousand registers are opened. And you check your watch and notice it’s half past twelve. Probably going to eat some frozen pizza tonight and play some vidya games or something. Eyup, life goes like that sometimes. Anyways, let’s get into the little short moments in my life where the skeleton hambone named Ghost came and found me and where I live, along with me and the guys doing some stuff with him. I guess it’s time to have the talk about the Ghost guy and his series of events that occurred.

Remember when I mentioned it? Remember when I mentioned about Ghost and him being a skeleton? Yeah… you do… don’t you bitch? Anyways, I suppose I should introduce Ghost and his little episodes or adventures that we had with him before I start off with one of the things that we did together.

Let’s see, how should I explain this to you… whoever is reading this. Maybe aliens are going to be reading this after humans have gone extinct so I’m just trying to prepare for whatever comes this journal’s way you know? You never know when Aliens or Illegal Aliens are going to be reading this, and they will be confused on who Ghost is, or a Technicolor talking pony for that matter, but I’m sure they can figure that part out for themselves eventually.

Just following the rules what my 4^th grade language teacher taught me when writing anything, assume the reader is beyond fucking retarded and know absolutely nothing. Shall I start with two plus two (that equals five) or shall I start with colors? Colors? Ok, Blue, green, yellow, clear, seven, AIDS. See those are colors, you’re learning fast, you’re going places.

Anyways, Ghost ghost ghost. What can I say about Ghost? First time I had met him, he was really weird, later on we had some fun and adventures together. And then later on… well later on kind of gets too complicated for right now to simply time put. Just know something’s happened with Ghost that will take quite some of explaining to do and right now I don’t think you’re ready for that part yet. Although I will say it gets wild, but for right now let’s start small with Ghost. In the beginning, I don’t know where he came from or who he is, at least at first. And one day while walking on the train tracks if you recall when I told you guys, and if not then here it is, I was by myself.

I was running away from TF and a little group of his; it was a whole other thing, trying to hunt me down. Some guy named Blacky died and Sky was a faggot that wanted to be a tough guy or something. You can thumb through the pages to look back at that one if you want... assuming you aliens have thumbs. And if you aliens don’t know what thumbs are, they are like dicks for your hands that you think you can play around with and touch, yet it is disappointing when you do and sometimes it weird’s you out when you get high sometimes.

Or not, trust me, after being a pony for many years thumbs are just really weird compared to hooves. Anyways, while walking the trains and TF and his little posse group somewhere behind me keeping an eye on me somewhere from far behind, I was walking the train tacks alone after an accident had occurred on the tracks. There was a grey sky with some snow I think. And along my travels along the train tracks I came across some odd characters. Some short, some long, and then I happened to come across a guy named Ghost. He was a skeleton that was a hambone that was in a wheelchair and probably lost his legs in the rice paddies in Vietnam somewhere. And because of that, he had his wheelchair being pushed by another skeleton named The Engineer.

Now Ghost looked to be like an old guy in his fifties or sixties, but as a skeleton with a Texan, but with a rough sounding voice. It was kind of fruity in some cases. And the Engineer looked like he was mentally handicapped, yet always had a genuine smile on, compared to Neon who always looked like he had a smile on always to kill you, and he wore blue overalls with some brown boots and a yellow construction hard hat on as well as some yellow gloves. (Put image here?)

Meanwhile Ghost was wearing a red bandanna scarf around his neck and a black cowboy hat on and.. uhh… that’s about aside from his wheelchair.

And the Engineer talked in tongue like a tard, where you could barely make a word out of his mouth. Yet it sounded a lot more better than whatever came out of Ghost’s mouth. Hell, I’d say the Engineer was the true talent here, probably could win the golden microphone in less than a year if he tried. All Ghost could win is the golden piss award, and he probably goes to gay bath houses and stuff. Anyways, I came across them, had some slight fun with the two of them and the Engineer won while Ghost lost and then I left. And then after TF had me running around the woods trying to get back on track on getting back to Stalia and the group that I was with died or something, I think one of them lost his son to the son drowning in the river and dying in his arms.

I forget, thumb through the pages yourself to see if I am correct. Well, I got out and started walking the train tracks again, once again all alone and even more odd characters came and found me like Pirates from another universe and their floating pirate ship, Baby and Regular Jesus telling me to Make Heaven Great Again and to build a big wall to stop the demons from coming through, a Japanese guy that was delivering a late package to me and having a big fight, and some the Orange Mafia Gang I think the name was… where a bunch of Oranges and their leader wanted to reconstruct all of my bones and turn me into an orange so I could be one of them and take over Equestria or something.

Yet one of the characters I saw was Ghost once again. This time though he was all alone, no Engineer this time around. But he had a battery operated wheelchair this time. Me and him talked, he got mad, and then he got hit by a train. Yet he still wasn’t dead. And with this next series of events that I’m about to share with you all, Ghost came back. But not on the train track again, but to Stalia, the “little” town that I lived in that lived in the shadow of Ponyville that was right across from it with the Everfree Forest right in between. Eyup… Anyways, this is the story of a Texan skeleton hambone in a wheelchair named Ghost. And you could say the story was just beginning… if you were a faggot…

So where do I begin with this one? Oh, I’ve got it, how about when Ghost first arrived in Stalia and found me. So, it was the dawn of a new day. Celestia’s sun was out and the birds were chirping away while everyone in the town of Stalia was going about their day.

Everything was fine. It was like any normal day with the kids out playing and the adults going to work. There were some clouds in the sky, but nothing worthy of note however. Everyone was minding their own business and nothing serious was happening in the town of Stalia. It was just like any other ordinary day… well at least for the first half of it of course. By the time mid day had come and the Sun was at its highest point in the sky… I think. Maybe it could have gone higher but maybe the sun didn’t wanted to go above and beyond . Lazy bastard.

Anyways, it was the middle of the day, the guys were doing their own thing and Wolf had left the library. Usually he sticks around since he’s a lazy piece of shit most of the time. And I mean a piece of shit in a friendly, male bonding kind of way in case you couldn’t take the hint. He was just you know… didn’t get off his lazy wooden ass is all. Anyways, it was a weekend so I kind of slept in. Then again I can always sleep in since it’s not like I have a job other than being the librarian that no one ever visits. Seriously, the kids don’t know what that kind of a place is. They just go out and play with sticks and beat zebras with it. I think that’s the hip thing to do nowadays. Am I right that the kids go out and beat zebras with a stick?

No… no that’s not right. My bad, they go out and beat old people for sheckles. I mean it’s either that or mow their lawns and kids aren’t going to do that nowadays. They just take blue birds and green frogs, tie some kind of little message to them and send them to their little friends. Kids have no morals these days I tell you. And next thing you know, these kids are going to be socializing through some kind of book, face to face.

But don’t worry, I got an idea that’ll get these kids back up and socializing the correct way. I have some kind of Chute, although it’ll take a bit or something in order to use it. But the kids will come around. They always do… otherwise I’ll have to go with the backup plan and find four chans. That way everyone can do it and no one will know it is them. Just got make sure that anime bear doesn’t come out of the bushes is all… the fucker lives in all of our souls don’t you know. It haunts you, stares at you, waiting to strike one day. But you see back in my day…like a couple of years ago, we didn’t have sticks and green little frogs… we had tubes, and it was you who made the tubes work.

Hell, the inter… connections… of a net is nothing but a series of tubes after all. Anyways, point is I don’t have to work as hard as anyone else because my job is to just be here in case anyone wants to check out a book. And no one ever comes. But at least I’m not the one responsible for the newspapers at least. That guy is fucked with tons of un-read paper. He’s just buried with it in his own home and no one has heard from him in seven months. He’s probably dead by now, but no one cares.

Anyways, I slept in until like eleven o’ clock, you can say that’s weird or that I’m some kind of lazy fuck, but you can’t blame, sometimes all I do at night is just stay up and enjoy the night. And then you start to hear things yet you can’t find the sources of the noises. Then it starts to get to you and... never mind, don’t mind the demons, they are just trying to fuck with you. Anyways, Wolf usually sticks around like the lazy bum that he is sometimes but as I came down the stairs, to my surprise, he was gone. And at first I had thought maybe he was trying to make something of himself… until I looked in the cupboard... that wooden fuck ate all of the cereal… and it was my cereal.

He had his cereal which was some frosted wheat crap. When I went to the store, I told him he could only have one, even though he protested against me since I was buying myself two. But I’m the one who earns the bits… from doing nothing basically and being Celestia’s personal student. He is just a tag along, my entourage, a good buddy like a faithful dog, but a leach that sticks to the side like the state of California. Seriously, that state is a literally leach. One day the San Andreas Fault line will break to where it reveals the state’s true form, a giant leach.

And that leach will then say, “You may have stopped, but I’ll be back soon. Just you wait and see.”

And then it’ll go into the mother ship and fly away to the sun when really its home is in the opposite direction. Anyways, I told him to stay out of my cereal, some fruity crap and some cheap cinnamon crap. It’s all crap and will probably give you diabetes one day, but you think anyone gives a crap? The shit tastes good. Fuck the orange juice and grits. It’s cheap, bad for your body, and it taste damn good in your mouth, just like diabetes.

Anyways, Wolf tried his cereal, said he didn’t like it and wanted mine, but I told him to fuck off, he made his bed, now he has to sleep in it… though he never does, both fugitively and literally. Anyways, it was a no brainer why he skipped out on me. And I wanted some cereal so I grabbed my black cowboy hat, my satchel that I forget half the time that is there, and headed out the door and into the town of Stalia that covered in the morning light all with a sour look on my face for I was in a sour mood at that time.

As I kicked the door open and closed it to go outside, I was mumbling underneath my breath with a pissed off look on my face, “Fucking Wolf… piece of wooden, shit eating mother fucker. Eats from my cereal will he?” And then I was out and was headed for Stalia’s Market, where the store was located that sold the goods. The legal and the illegal goods, you just had to ask for the illegal stuff in the back. Shhh, don’t tell anyone I told you that or I might get in trouble…

Anyways, I was on my way towards the market area and as I was keeping to myself and thinking of whatever was going through my head that day and as the other ponies passed me by while I still retained the unhappy look upon my brow, I came across my “friends”, the guys, the gang, whatever you want to call them, and all of them where, including Wolf, hanging out, having a good time, and were near a wall to one of the buildings nearby.

Well except for Mac, he looked like he was having a bit of a bad day. Looked like he needed some cheering up. But I wasn’t concerned about Mac’s mental state, for when I saw Wolf; I had a few words to speak to him at the time. So I walked up to him a little bit, but still giving him some room, you got to respect other’s breathing space. You don’t want to be rude when calling them names like a faggot or a little bitch. You may be rough housing, but you’re not animals. Now if you want to be an animal, then you get a gun that has ‘caliber’ in its name and start shooting up the place like its Vegas. Then you’re getting the blood pumping, then again I wouldn’t know.

But someone does. Anyway, I got up near Wolf, although he wasn’t looking in my general direction. In fact none of the guys really noticed me except for Mac, must have not been in a good mood then. And as for Wolf, he was sitting on his wooden ass on the dirt floor, but it was kind of hard, I don’t know, it’s kind of hard to describe the ground of the pony world when it isn’t concrete, but whatever.

Anyways, Wolf was just sitting on his wooden asshole, with a smile like he didn’t eat my cereal and wasn’t going to pay the consequences from it, and was talking with Jack, who was leaning against a wall, also with a smile. But not a genuine happy smile, but like a punk or an asshole kind of a smile. And for some reason both of them had black sun glasses on, like they were buddy buddy with each other. But I didn’t really care because he took my cereal, and all I knew was that some wood was going to get slapped. And not in a sexual way either, but in an ass kicking way.

So I looked towards him, weather he was looking at me when I was looking to him or not and being rude, I said to him, “Hey Wolf! You’re going to get an ass kicking!”

Wolf ignored me.

So I continued talking to him as if he was paying attention, hoping he would respond to me, “Hey asshole! I’m talking to you! What do you got to say about the cereal you ate huh!? You want to pay up now or do I have to break your wooden legs?”

He did nothing and not even moved a muscle… except for his mouth as he was continuing to talk to Jack.

I don’t know what conversations they were having, but I then tried one more time to talk to Wolf as I then said to him, “Wolf, if you don’t explain to me right now why you took my shit and didn’t take you shit, I’m kicking your ass when you get home later today. Or at the very least hear some very mean words from me. Got anything to say for yourself mister?”

And Wolf didn’t respond to me like the rude wooden asshole that he was. I get no respect I tell ya, no respect at all. And after giving it a few seconds and no response from Wolf, I squinted my eyes a little bit as I was tired a bit.

And Mac noticed and got a bit close to me, with a bit of a wide eyes, not a pissed off look, and said to me in a whisper, “I think they are being hypnotized by the aliens.”

I then said to him, “Shut up Mac.”

And because I wasn’t in the mood to be dealing with this and my stomach was a bit grumbly, I went ahead and said under my breath as I was about to move out and go to the store, “Fuck this shit, I’m going to the store. Mother fuckers…”

And as I was going to pass up the guys, Jack finally noticed me, or at the very least acknowledged my existence, stood up on all fours, all still with an asshole smile on his face and quickly whispered to Wolf about something, I think maybe “hey watch this” but when looking back it’s hard to tell.

And when that happened, he then moved towards where I was walking and blocked my path from moving any further to my destination. And as I was trying to walk, my head was looking downwards, but the moment Jack blocked me with a serious and dead look on his face, my head immediately went upwards and stared him in the face.

Jack then said to me, “So… you think you can walk past the toll without paying huh?”

I then said to Jack in my not so good mood and tone voice, “Fuck Off Jack, I’m not in the mood right now.”

Jack then said to me, “Ohhhh… we have a tough guy over here.”

I then said to him, even though I didn’t always show it, or mean it sometimes, “I mean it Jack, fuck off or else.”

And the guys, who were looking towards our direction and smiling, just watching it as everything unfolded. And Forrest in particular even gave a slight chuckle that I could hear, like he was enjoying the show a bit, like this was all some kind of joke and that I wasn’t in on it because I was supposed to be the punch line.

Although Mac still had a pissed off look, I guess someone must have pissed in his cereal that morning. But somewhere off in the far, yet not too far distance however, the wheels on a wheelchair was rolling on by, somewhat on a fast pace as if the rider of the wheelchair was in a hurry to be somewhere.

Anyways, Jack then said to me, “So you think can just waltz on over here and walk on by without paying your dues huh?”

I wasn’t catching on as to what he was even talking about and the looks on the other guy’s faces wasn’t helping me much and I wasn’t in the mood to think it through and think about context. I just wanted to get a move on with my day.

But I did give in a little bit and shook my head a little bit like I had just saw something that was from my imagination, and said to Jack with an annoyed and pissed off combo look on my face and said to Jack, “You fucking asshole. What the hell are you two doing anyways?”

Jack then dropped the tough guy act for a bit and had a little smile on his face, more like a smirk still, and said to me while pointing to Wolf with his head, “Oh it’s nothing. That bundle of sticks over there is just helping me with a little side gig that I came up with earlier today.”

Jack then proceeded to move his right hoof around while continuing explaining what was happening between him and Wolf with a bit of a sly in his voice, “I’m making decent bits with my job, but I figured I could get more by having other to pay a toll to pass a certain section of Stalia. But it’ll just be me, but I figured that useless firewood over there could help me out by standing guard on the other part of town, and in turn I promised him a five percent cut and a six pack. I’m just showing him the ropes. And the best part, he didn’t negotiate. Shows how much of him is made of wood in the head.”

Wolf had heard what he had said, but did not say a word as he was being insulted by Jack. But then again I don’t think he really cared, give him alcohol, he’ll look the other way. Even if it’s a genocide. But after Jack was done talking to me, there was a few seconds of silence.

But after those few seconds were up, Jack then said to me without me saying anything in return, “So with that being said, pay up or else I’m going to break your legs.”

I then said to him somewhat blankly, but having my eyes drift to the side a bit with a bit of a ‘I don’t care’ look on my face, right before looking back at him properly, “Yeeeeaaahhh… no… I’ll see you later Wolf, you fucking free loader.”

I then started to walk around Jack and went past him and went about my day and my own business like nothing had happened.

But Jack wasn’t done with my yet as he then noticed that I walked past him without paying up, so he went over to Wolf with a slight smirk on his face still and said to him while putting his face a bit close to Wolf’s face, “Watch and learn…”

And then Jack then looked over towards me or at least towards my back, sort of my pony ass as I was walking away from him. And then he somewhat swiftly came up towards the backside of me and put me in a headlock and turned me towards the other direction that I was walking away from.

From that point on, my face went from annoyed; to pissed off with a bit of an angry tone in my voice as I immediately said to Jack, “What the fuck are you doing? Fucking let go of me Jack!”

While I was pissed, Jack still had the smirk on his face, like we were roughhousing or something and that he was just playing around, in Jack’s case, that might have been half right, but only towards me. It was like in a friendly way, but in asshole-ish kind of way if that makes any sense to you.

Anyways, as Jack was holding me in a head lock and the other guys looked at us and sort of enjoyed watching the two of us getting at it with each other, that wheelchair off in the distance was suddenly starting to get closer, as the crackling of the wheelchairs that sounded similar to a bicycle was starting to near and become louder for all to hear.

Meanwhile, I was trying to break out of Jack’s little headlock that he had put me in as he had put his whole left forearm around the back of my neck while he was trying to pull me towards his direction as he was saying to me, “So are you going to pay up or what?”

Again, the sounds of a wheelchair and someone pushing the wheelchair towards our direction was getting louder and closer by the second, not that we noticed it or anything at that time, but looking back, it wasn’t too far off from our original position that day. Anyways, back to me and Jack, I was trying to take my right forearm and trying to break loose of Jack’s hold.

But he had a good grip on me as I said to him, “I’m not going to give you shit! Now let go of me!”

But the sounds of a rolling wheelchair came ever so near us. And it wasn’t stopping anytime soon, just growing.

As my head was sort of hanging down a bit as Jack had put a bit of his weight on the back of my neck, he said to me, “You either pay the toll or you get the Goll!”

But the wheelchair though, it was still coming in fast, in fact, faster than I think anyone could have imagined.

As for me though, I then said to Jack, “What the fuck is a Goll!?”

But the wheelchair was closing in our position. There would be no way out of it even if we had wanted to leave by that point. Our fate had been chosen that day that would forever cause a ripple in time for us all, almost like it was the start of a little cause and effect that never ended, even though that may not have been true. But still, it was the beginning of something more bigger than ourselves and more than what we could have ever imagined.

Anyways, Jack then explained to me as the other guys were just sitting there on their pony asses and watching, “That’s the name that I gave to the crowbar that’s going to break all four of your legs if you don’t cough up the money, bitch!”

And then before you know it, fate had arrived for us. And it was in the form of a skeleton hambone in a wheelchair that also wore a cowboy hat and probably had some kind of personal problems. We didn’t know what was in store for us that day forward, but we didn’t expect it would come from the most unexpected of places and sources. But to clarify the wheelchair had rolled up to us, rather behind us. We didn’t notice it, the guys that were watching didn’t notice, not even Wolf as he was watching me getting annoyed didn’t notice. He was a bunch of wood after all, which makes me question him sometimes.

Anyways, the skeleton in the wheelchair had rolled up behind us, yet none of us paid any attention as me and Jack continued our little struggle as I had said to him, “Get off of me or else I’m going to kick your ass! I know some Asian shit!”

I don’t think the guys caught on to what I was saying, and it was kind of half true too. I kind of knew some Asian moves, but just barely as TK was rough with me during those early training days that I had with him. But that’s for another time.

But as I was struggling to get out of the headlock that Jack had me in, that was all solved as we were interrupted by a mysterious, yet familiar sounding voice that sounded a bit deep and sort of villainous sounding tone saying to us, “I’ve finally found you…”

And then from that point on, all of our attention went towards the voice that was behind us. Although I was the first one to look up to see who it was and recognize who it was. It was Ghost… Ghost from the train tracks.

And after Jack had let go of me and the guys were looking in my direction, my angered look turned into one that looked like I had just seen a ghost and I said to myself in a low tone, “Uh oh…”

Ghost then said as his face remained in shadows and his features appeared hidden from our eyes, as he was also looking a bit villainous in my eyes. You know, cause he was dressed all in shadows, and he was looking downward a bit as well, like he had a fedora on or something, which he didn’t… he had a black Texan cowboy hat on instead. Kind of like my hat, but with more Texan in it. Anyways, he was looking a bit villainous to me, even if he didn’t intend to come off like that.

Well, Ghost then said to me, “After all this time, these long, unwinded, God forsaken time, I have finally found you.”

I started to get a little nervous as the last time I saw Ghost, I left him to get hit by a train back on the train tracks.

Ghost continued to say, “I have been looking for you everywhere I went. I couldn’t find you until today.”

My body was started to shake as my eyes remained wide. My mind was wondering what was going to happen as Ghost remained in the shadows, talking to me and the guys, but specifically towards me. But the guys on the other hand, they just stood there, a bit confused as to who Ghost was, so I was the odd one out that knew that was going on while the guys remained in the dark.

Ghost continued to tell me, “You left me on those train tracks, alone… and forgotten…”

He had said it in such a way that it sounded like he wanted revenge. That he was going to give me a beating of a lifetime and that I was going to get it. But come on, it was a joke, all a big joke. Can’t we just laugh it all off? Huh? Ha…. Ha ha…. Hahaha… But I remained shaking where I stood, not sure what to do if he had made a move towards me.

Ghost continued to say to me, “When I saw you, even the first time, I knew I found it. I knew I finally found the golden jackpot, to find the right ones to play with…”

I was starting to sweat a little bit. The way how he didn’t finish his sentence and him metaphorically giving three dots (…….) was like a gripping cliff hanger to me, leaving me on the edge of wondering what was going to come next from him. Will it be words or a force to be reckoned with?

And TK wasn’t around to help me out if shit went south, so it would be just me and the guys, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle it if it was too much trouble that occurred.

But Ghost finished his little talk and finishing his cliff hanger to me and said, “Now I get to play with you, to toy with you.... let me ask you... Are you ready? Are you ready to play a game… the game of… “

And then Ghost paused for effect. He was teasing all of us with the guys just looking confused and waiting for Ghost to finish his talk. Jack though looked a little annoyed cause it was eating up his time to collect money from his little toll scam business that he had started. And Neon was still smiling like a psychopath like always, but still. But for me, it was a tease the most of all. And waiting what Ghost was going to finish off with, what his message to me was killing me on the inside. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I was starting to get scared, what was I was going to do? What would happen to me? A lot of stuff was going through my head. But Ghost, he remained pause in his words for a good few seconds.

But then Ghost finally spoke up and said with a surprise upbeat tone as all around him everything changed into bright, beautiful colors and Ghost’s face lit up, “GUESS THE MINORITY!!!”

Ghost had said with such a happy and enthusiastic tone in his voice as he spread his right arm a full one eighty as to the right of him, stuff appeared.

That stuff: three podiums with a red button on all of them, a big score board with another board that was a sign with bright small little light bulbs that spelled the word ‘Guess the Minority’, all the while a game show music theme played by what sounded like a big band started to play from out of nowhere somewhere in the background that sounded oddly like The Price is Right theme song, very loudly I might add. And it came from the sky and it looked it just appeared in thin air.

I don’t know, maybe Ghost had some Pegasi drop it like the bombs from Japan and into that exact area at that right time, We weren’t paying attention, even when looking back it makes no sense. But yet it appeared, like if we had just stepped on to a set.

All the while the Engineer came walking on set, clapping continuously and saying, “YAAAAAAAY!!!” while still wearing his yellow workers hat and blue jean overalls.

The Engineer was also kind of taller than us, like around the same height as an Alicorn or something like that. Human height is kind of weird compared to being in a body of pony in this universe you know. Honestly I’m used to the height and I never noticed the difference by now. Same thing with Ghost, but because he was in a wheelchair, he was about eye level to us, so it was like he was a midget with stubby legs or some shit like that.

And as Engineer was walking from what looked like out of nowhere, or stage left, Ghost was saying as he was moving his arms up and down while making a fist, giving a big smile, and closing his skeleton eye holes… somehow…, “YES! YES!! YES!!! I love this game man! I win every time! I’M THE CHAMP AT THIS GAME!”

We were all confused as we were all looking at each other, yes, even me after calming down, as well as Wolf, and not sure what was going on here as we had expected a big adventure or a formidable enemy to fight or something like that. You know something that would take a trilogy or possibly a saga to finish, sort of like an arc of sorts.

Maybe it might lead us to some secrets and meet new and interesting people or whatever. But instead we just stood there confused, yet we just shrugged it off and rolled with it. It’s not like we’ve seen anything weird before. We have Neon…

Anyways, after Ghost was finished with him, I don’t know… sperging out, I asked Ghost with a raised eyebrow while lifting my right hoof upward a bit and tilting my head to the side just a tad, “ So you’re not upset that I left you at the train tracks then?”

Ghost then said with slight smile on his face, while the Engineer went and stood right next to him and looking like a happy tard, “Well while I’m still pissed that you let me get run over by the train, I’m happy that I found someone to play this fun game with!”

Jack then removed his sunglasses and tossed them to the side while the sound of a cat screaming occurred like it always does when you throw something to the side and don’t see where it lands, giving me a mix between a pissed off look and a curious look and asked me, “What the fuck did you do to meet this gay ass faggot?”

Ghost then spoke out loud while pointing a finger at him, while looking a bit offended towards Jack’s statement towards him, “For your information, I’m a baguette, not a poz hole.”

After Ghost had said that to him, Jack then just eyed him for a bit, that kind of eyes that asks you, “Are you fucking for real or what you lazy ass faggot?”

Or something to that level…

Anyways, Ghost then went on to ask all of us, “So what do you guys say? You want to play a few rounds of GUESS THE MINORITY?!”

And as Ghost spoke those last three words, a disembodied audience applauded and cheered, as if a mysterious forth wall of viewers were watching us and was anticipating for some new contestants for the game show for their entertainment.

With that being said, Wolf then stepped forward a bit and said to Ghost with a weird smile, almost in a sarcastic kind of a smile on his face and said to him, “Well that sounds fun and all, but us “FRIENDS” would rather get back to doing real stuff and…”

However Jack then quickly cut him off while Jack raised his head up a little bit while rubbing his chin a bit, with an odd curious look on his face, “So is there a reward for winning?”

Towards the end, Jack pointed towards Ghost, curious to see what his answer would be.

Ghost then said to Jack with a smiling face on and in a cheery mood while also pointing back to him, “Well if you’re the champion at the end of the game, then YES, you will win something BABY!”

Jack then said with a slide side smile on his face with a look of determination with a hint of sly, “Then I’m in.”

He then moved his eyes over to us as we looked back with a bit curious and said, “So what do you say, you losers in or out?”

Mac then raised his hoof with also a look of determination on his face and said, “I’m in it too! This way I will win the prize and Applejack won’t win diddly squat! Yee Haw!”

When he said the ‘yee haw’ he jumped up, closed his eyes and had a little smile on his face! I don’t know why he said that, it’s not his usual saying, but he is the farmer or southern type that would own a bunch of blacks and make them to make him some lemonade from his lemon tree farm… or apples… he could also make them make him some apple juice. Working on the farm… picking them apples…

Anyways, I then looked at both Jack and Mac real quick and gave a little shrug and said, “Fuck it, might as well join in. I’M IN!”

Wolf was then irritated by our decision as he looked to all of us and then moved his left paw in expression and said to us, “OH COME ON YOU GUYS!? Can’t you see this Jew here is trying to Jew you and scamming you!?”

We just ignored Wolf; most on the guy’s minds was the prize. Ghost never specified what the prize was, but we could only imagine and dream what it could be.

Perhaps a crown, some jewels, a new piece of fancy technology that you would then have to pay taxes on later to the IRS, so you get pissed off that you won so you go home, get your gun and your bat, head down to the IRS and then start shooting up the place, but it turns out no one is there and you find out that the IRS don’t exist at all and it was all your imagination this entire time and that we were sending our money to some crack addicted hobo named Hunter or something. So you feel like a fool, go home, wax your carrot one more time and end your life… you know that kind of prize.

Anyways, after we ignored Wolf, he looked disgruntled, and without much of a fit, he turned around, looked back at us and said quietly to himself, “I’ll be back…,” and walked away and out of sight… for now…

Ghost then had said to us after Wolf had left us, “Aright then! Well, Let’s get this game started then!”

Even though the other three didn’t give their consent, our consent was all that they needed to know that they were all in as well. So Mac, me, and Jack, in that order, walked over to the three podiums and took our places, ready to play GUESS THE MINORITY!

And the podiums on closer inspection were made of fine dark brown wood, and were tall enough for us to stick our heads over and then some.

Well, once we were all in our positions and Ghost then said to all of us while raising his left arm high in the air in excitement, “Then let’s get ready for round one!”

Ghost then looked over to the Engineer with glee and asked him, “Put the PC shot on Engineer”

The Engineer then said while holding a little grey box with a red button on it and pushing that said red button, “duuh ahhh ahh AHAHHHAAAHHAAAAAA!!”

And then the Engineer pushed the button and the board behind us changed a little bit while putting our names on the board with a number under that name, pretty much our score, and underneath that was the words in big comic sans, ‘ROUND 1: GUESS THE VOICE’ in big bold letters, in that lovely… lovely… comic sans… ha…

All at the same time, the mysterious invisible audience somewhere in the fourth wall background was clapping and cheering. And of course we had our heads turned around, looking back at the board every now and then trying to see what the score was throughout the round, sometimes with a curious or pissed off look on our faces. Anyways, Ghost started the first round of Guess the Minority.

So Ghost said to us as the magical background music and audience finally calmed down, I know… that long, and after the invisible audience gave a quick applause, waiting for the game to start, “Alright then contestants! Welcome to Round one of Guess the Minority!”

The invisible audience said that last three words in unison with Ghost as Ghost looked out into the fourth wall.

Ghost continued to explain to us, “For our first round of contestants, we have Mac Farmer!”

The fourth wall audience than gave a cheer while Mac waved a little bit to the invisible audience.

Ghost then said, “Next, we have Knight!”

The audience then from beyond the fourth wall applauded for me, but all did in response was just staring in front of me cause it was weird seeing no audience yet there was somehow, just in another plain of existence I suppose that we couldn’t reach, yet maybe we could have reached if we tried hard enough.

Next, Ghost then said, “And finally Classy Jack!”

And then the audience was applauding for him as Jack just had a mean looking grin on his face, like he was ready to beat all of us and win the grand prize of the game show.

Ghost then explained to us after the audience had died down, “In the first round, we’re going to take it easy and simple. For this round, all you have to do is guess which voice belongs to which minority. No multiple choices in this game, so you can give any answer. All you have to do is be the first one to push the button in front of you, and whoever buzzes in first gets to answer first. But if you fail to answer, the point goes to the next one who buzzes next. But if all three of you fail, then no one gets the point and we move on to the next voice. So is everyone ready?”

And in sort of unison, but not really, we all nodded our heads and gave a ‘yup’ and a ‘yeah’.

Ghost then said, “Well let’s get started then! Let’s start off easy. Play the first voice Engineer”

The Engineer pressed the red button and the first voice suddenly played from out of nowhere just like the audience. The first voice was a deep sounding voice, but with a trash kind of ghetto tone.

The voice said, “Mah Keeeeeeeeeeeds baby!”

I had a feeling which minority it was, but Ghost seemed to have been from earth or some version of earth, and I didn’t want to blow my cover on the whole human thing, so I just had some shifty eyes and kept my head low and lost the point on purpose. But then again I don’t think the guys cared and thought that I could just say the equivalent to what I was thinking. Come on, be honest here, we are all thinking of it in our heads… even you… just admit.

Anyways, Me, Mac and Jack all buzzed in at the same time and we all yelled out, “A Zebra!”

Ghost, with a little confused look on his face while scratching the top of his skull, “Ziggers? I meant Niggers… GOD DAMN IT! YOU TROLLS MADE ME SAY IT! NOUGH! NOUGH! NOUGH!”

And as he was saying ‘nough’, he was kicking his legs around and flaring his arms around while invisible cans were being kicked around.

But then after a bit of him calming down, he then said to us calmly while looking kind of cynical, “Close enough, you all get a point.”

And then we all got a point, a good way to start off the game show. Everyone wins, a metaphorical participation trophy, but it was an easy guess, let’s be honest here. And so the score on the score board behind was 1 – 1 – 1.

Ghost then yelled, “Engineer! Bring out the second voice!”

The Engineer then pushed the big red button again and the second voice played.

The second voice said in a weird, nasally, wimpy tone, but with a bit of an accent, “Hey man, I’ll wash your car for a penny. Mmmmmmm that cactus was gooooood senior…”

I then quickly pressed my button as the buzz sound came on and yelled out, “That’s got to be a Nevadan!”

Ghost then said with a little smile like a good host that he was on his face, “Ooo sorry, that was wrong. But we’ll count it as an honorable mention since you were close.”

Mac and Jack then buzzed in both at the same time; both with a little smile on their face, but both gave slightly different answers.

Mac had yelled out, “The ponies from down under!”

Jack had said along with Mac’s answer, “The Mexonies!”

And then after that, Ghost said out loud, “That’s correct!”

And then both Mac and Jack got a point and the score now was 2 – 1 – 2. Ghost then said, “Play the final voice Engineer!”

The Engineer then pressed the red button and the final voice played.

The final voice played, it was a kind of obvious as the voice said, “Bing Bong Ching Chong Motha Fuckas! Me So Horney Motha Fuckas! You Equestrian Motha Fuckas think you are smat… but we will own you motha fuckas very soon, and you’ll be taking odas from uuuussss… oh no… nooooo I ate a very bad egga roll… aaaawwwww …. Ohhhhhh…”

That last part also had some farting sounds, like the diarrhea sounds as it sounded like the voice was trying to take a shit.

But truth be told, I wasn’t fast enough to buzz in as once again, both Mac and Jack both buzzed the button in both at the same time. Jack’s answer this time was, “Japonies!”

And Mac said, with an ok look on his face, “The fuckers who tried to buy my farm!”

And then Ghost with a big smile on his face then said, “And that answer is correct! You get the point Mac! And that means you are the winner of this round!”

Mac had a big smile on his face like he was an innocent child that had won some free candy, as some confetti from somewhere rained down upon him a little, all the while the invisible audience was applauding him somewhere beyond the fourth wall. As for me and Jack, I looked towards him with a weird look on my face, but Jack looked over towards him with a pissed off look as he was trying to win the prize from the game. And the final score behind us for round one was 3 – 1 – 2.

And with that being said, Ghost then said to Mac, “This means you’ll be going to the final and third round and play the winner from Round Two for the grand prize! Congratulations Mac!”

And with that, we all moved off the podium, with Jack looking down at the ground while walking being all pissed off and shit.

And as we were walking off in the same direction that we came on to the stand, Ghost said, “Bring on the next contestants!”

And so the other three guys came on to the stage, with Neon, Arrell, and Forrest walking on to the stage and taking their places where we stood in that order, with the score resetting to 0 – 0 – 0 and the round changing to ‘Round 2: The Lightning Speed Round.’

And before Ghost announced the second round, Ghost turned around and moved his wheelchair away from Neon and the others.

And he looked to the fourth wall and looked at the audience beyond the fourth wall while holding up a microphone to his face for some reason, a little too close I might add, and said, “Before we continue with today’s game show, Guess the Minority is brought to you by today’s sponsor, Soul Shining Toothpaste.”

Ghost then proceeded to from what was also out of nowhere, grab a light green toothpaste tube that had a picture of a drawing of a little 1950’s style boy smiling with a thumbs up like it was from Fallout or something.

And he held it horizontally to the fourth wall and continued to talk, “Soul shining Toothpaste provides excellent protection against tooth decay, cavities, the aids after giving a blowjob, yes even to you homos, and many, many other diseases that don’t even exist yet. It’s that good of a toothpaste, but it is only recommended for ages 13 and up cause if little Billy gets into this for his teeth, well… he’s going implode and die a slow and painful death.”

Ghost was keeping a strong and market friendly smile throughout him advertising the toothpaste.

Ghost continued to speak, “So remember, whenever you are ever out at the Supermarket, looking for some more toothpaste cause your last toothpaste gave you aids instead of protecting you from it, look for Soul Shining Toothpaste, cause you need to keep your soul clean, and your teeth are your soul.”

Ghost then smiled and showed his big bright, a little yellow, teeth to the fourth wall and said, “Once again, Guess the Minority is brought to you by Soul Shining Toothpaste”

And as he was saying this, I was looking over at Jack with a little worried and confused look on my face and I asked Jack as he gave me an ok look on his face, “Who the hell is he talking to?”

And Jack looked towards me and just shrugged, cause Ghost was talking to no one, to fucking air… yet somehow, beyond the mythical fourth wall, he was talking to someone and we just couldn’t see it, nor could anyone see it.

Anyways, Ghost then put the toothpaste away and by throwing it to the side, along with some random cat noise as it happened, and Ghost continued to stare into the fourth wall and say, “Now a little heart to heart with you guys for a moment. Now I know it seems that we get a little raunchy and edgy on the game show here, but everyone here at Guess the Minority would like to remind you that everything that we say and do on here are all in good fun.

‘In fact I’m a melting pot of friendship that just happens to have many friends that happen to be black, WOPs, Muck Shoveling Micks, Wetbacks, Kikes, Crackers, Mexican, Towel Heads, Chinks, Indians, Red Skinned, Mexicans of the North who make fake bacon, and many more on the Diversity Rainbow. Hell, even where I live, there happens to a lot of Mexicans walking out there. So sit back, especially for you that are home, have a good laugh with us, and relax, cause we are all a melting pot of friendship as we are all on the rainbow.”

Ghost then gave a big ol’ smile and a wink with his right eye and turned his wheelchair around to head back near the second round of contestants.

MEANWHILE, ABOUT 50 FEET FROM THE SET OF GUESS THE MINOIRITY…

So while that was going on, Wolf was sitting at a nearby Café and was sitting in one of the chairs and near a table with a glass of beer in it, that was part of the outside sitting of the place.

And as he was sitting on his wooden ass, eyeing us from afar, and squinting like he was keeping an eye on us and was suspicious of us, as he was drinking and was a little bit drunk he started to speak and said in a cynical tone, “Look at those traitor mother fuckers. Every single one of my friends abandoned me. How dare they leave me like that? We were friends damn it! And it’s all because of that Ghost fuck right there, that skeleton looking hambone milky licker right over there. I don’t like that Ghost fucker over there. Only if there was a way to get my friends back. Hmmmm…”

Wolf started to make a thinking look on his face, and then after a quick few seconds of thoughts floating around in his little wooden head that was also made out of wood, he slowly started to form a little smirk on his face, an evil looking smirk almost like from the Grinch. The Jim Carry one, not the Brit Bong one, and that indicated that he had an idea form right into his little greedy mind of his.

And he said out loud to himself, “I’ve got it….”

And soon he had a bit of shifty eyes while retaining his smirk and got off his seat and walked away… without paying for the beer, that cheap wood mother fucker.

BACK TO GUESS THE MINORITY…

Ghost was just about ready to start off the next round, as he stood in front of the second round of contestants.

Ghost said to all of us and to the fourth wall audience, “So for the first one, we had Knight come out in third place at one point. Jack then came out in second place for a total of two points. And Mac, the winner from the last round came out on top with three points in total. Who is going to win this round?”

As Ghost had mentioned Jack was number two, Jack was throwing a little hissy fit as he was a little pissed for losing and not winning the prize as he said to me, “This is bullshit. Mac cheated and rigged the game!”

But no one really paid any attention to him, but once Ghost had announced that Mac was the winner, the Engineer gave a round of applause to Mac and went ‘Yaaaaaaaaaay.’

Anyways, Ghost then continued to talk and said, “This is going to be an exciting round for our new contestants. For this round, we have Neon Party!”

And then the fourth wall audience applauded a bit while Neon just stood there, staring as if he could see the audience right in front of him, and knowing him, he probably could see them and their souls maybe.

Ghost then said, “Arrell!”

The fourth wall audience then applauded once more as Arrell just smiled as he looked in direction of where the audience sound was coming from and rolling with it.

And Ghost then said, “And finally Forrest Fire!”

And then the fourth wall applauded once again. Forrest was just having his shy look on his face while still maintaining a smile and waving a bit.

Ghost continued to say, “And they are going into the Lightning Speed Round! All three of them will have to answer which minority it is from just three words that I say within three seconds. And we’re going to be moving a little quick on this one, so I hope you can all keep up!”

Neon then blurted out, “Let’s burn them all!”

Ghost then said with a bit of enthusiasm in his tone, “That’s what I like to hear from the contestants! LET’S SPREAD IT AROUND LIKE WILDFIRE! WOOOOOOO! Let’s get this round started shall we…”

And so the next round began, and no one knew who was going to win this one so it was a little intense.

Ghost then yelled out to the Engineer, “Go ahead Engineer and put the PC Shot on!”

And so the Engineer then said, “Ahhhhhh ahhh ahhh ahhhh!”

And then he pressed the red button to let the voice clips go for three seconds each and to start the speed round.

The first voice came up and it said, “Fried Chicken Baby!”

Neon then buzzed in quickly blurted out, “A Papa bear bigfoot!”

Then he got the wrong buzz sound in which case Arrell buzzed in all with a smile, just like Neon, and Forrest too I guess, and said, “A Zebra… I think…”

Arrell seemed a little uncertain with his answer, as it reflected it on his face when he said the last two words.

But once Ghost said, “Correct,” Arrell’s face turned back into a happy one while Neon didn’t change at all… never ever ever never ever…

Anyways, the score was 0 – 1 – 0 and the next voice automatically played and the voice said, “Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…”

Forrest then buzzed in with three seconds to go and said with a hopeful smile that he would get this one right, “Is it a Zebra?”

But then Ghost said to him, “Wrong.”

And Forrest then immediately had a disappointing look on his face, as he was hoping that he had gotten it right, but he was not too far off as Arrell then buzzed in with his answer and blurted out while raising his left hoof up in the air, “a Tyrone!”

Ghost then said to him “Correct!” as Arrell had a smile throughout. The score that was also on the board behind them was now 0 – 2 – 0.

The next voice then played and it said, “Allah Ack Bar!”

Neon then just blurted out, not even buzzing in so he wouldn’t get the point to begin with even if he was right, but he blurted out anyways, “A bomb that’s on a bus going at forty five miles per hour in Sans Chicago Land that kills three hundred piggies!”

But of course he got it wrong with the wrong answer sound in the background… from somewhere… and Arrell buzzed in and said, “The Muzzies!”

Ghost then told him while giving him a thumbs up, “Correct!”

The score now was 0 – 3 – 0, starting to get a bit intense, but was still anyone’s game.

The next voice played and it said, “Shit it down!”

Forrest then buzzed in with his answer and said with still a hopeful smile on his face, hoping that he could win still, while pointing towards Ghost a little bit with his right hoof at him, “Is it a Griffon?”

Ghost then said while shaking his head, “Nope, sorry, incorrect!”

Arrell then buzzed in quickly before the time was up, but with still a smile, although it quickly turned into an uncertain look on his face while answering, “I’m not sure, but I think it’s called a Jew? A Jewony or something like that?”

Ghost then said while Arrell got the correct sound somewhere in the background, “Correct! Either answer that you have said would have worked. We would have also accepted Sheckle Goblin.”

Forrest had a sad look on his face, he was hoping to win this game, maybe even win the grand prize for his papa or something. The score now on the board was 0 – 4 – 0.

The next voice that played said… well it wasn’t a voice. All it was just the sounds of the ovens… for three seconds… it sounded like it was at four hundred and fifty degree Fahrenheit too.

Anyways, Neon blurted out, not even buzzing in like the others did, “I’ll take Musical Remixes for 333. What is One Fish, Two Fish, I’m Jewish!?”

Obviously not the right answer, and Ghost said in response to Neon as he got the wrong answer sound in the background, “Uhhh.. wrong and uhhhhh… wrong game show…”

Arrell then buzzed in and said, with an uncertain look on his face as this one stomped him as he said while rubbing his head with his left hoof, “Uhhhh… I might be wrong on this one, but the Natives?”

Ghost then said to him while the approval sound was played, “Close enough, we’ll take it! This is a double answer question with two different answers. We were specifically looking for either Jews, or the other two alternatives to Jews, or Indian. Or if you were sensitive, Native American.”

Forrest then blurted out, “I thought it was the Buffalos?”

Ghost then said, “I guess that could have worked too, a bit muh cob, but acceptable. Next one!”

The score now was 0 – 5 – 0.

The next voice played and this time it was an actual voice and it said, “Me so Horny!”

And this time both Arrell and Forrest buzzed in as they were leaning forward and quick to do so.

And so, without wasting a micro second, Forrest raised his right hoof forward and yelled out in a hurry fashion, “A pony from Japony!”

Arrell, while looking a bit frantic and pointing over towards Forest while still remaining eye contact with Ghost, “Yeah! What he said!”

And once they had given their answers, Ghost said, “You both are correct! We would have also accepted Little Yellow People or Rice Eaters.”

And once the correct sound went off, both Arrell and Forrest had smiles on their faces, specifically Forrest as this was his first point. A smile returned to his face and in his eyes looked like he had hope, and perhaps there was a chance that he could win this game and be in the finals. The dreams and possibilities were endless to him, all he had to do was fly. But that was all about to be crushed as the final round, although not announced, was coming up. The score now was 0 – 6 – 1.

The final voice said “Milk is good” in such a low tone, in a deep male voice.

And so Neon once again blurted out while pointing to Ghost with his left hoof, “You!”

Ghost then said, “Uhhh… can you be more specific?”

Neon then said, “The Red M logo smells my ass everyday! We’re all going to die and be resurrected into the plain of non-existence!”

Ghost then said to Neon, “Uhhhhh… ok… Arrell, you want to take the point?”

Arrell, without having to buzz in cause Ghost said so, all the while he was leaning on the podium with his right pony shoulder while waving his left hoof around, while rolling his eyes and then eventually looking to Ghost towards the end of his answer, said, “This one sounds tough but uhhhh… a skeleton? Are they even a race?”

Ghost then yelled out with a smile while jumping his wheelchair up and down a bit and having his eyes closed, “And that is correct! Arrell is the winner of Round Two!”

Ghost then stopped hoping up and down and his smile went away and turned into a sour look on his face as he looked offended as to what Arrell said and said to him, “And for your information, Skeletons are a race… you racist.”

But Ghost returned to his smile once again after that quick little buzzkill and said, “But you are the winner of Round Two, with a final score of 7 , a new record I believe. You crushed the competition Arrell, all with a perfect score! You must know your minorities huh?”

And once Ghost announced the winner for round two, confetti rained on Arrell just like Mac and the audience was applauding from beyond the fourth wall.

Arrell then said while somewhat nervously, but in a happy, good kind of way, like he was kind of shy to talk and barely looking at Ghost with a little nervous smile on his face and brushing the front of his mane a bit, “What can I say? I know my animals…”

The final score was 0 – 7 – 1.

Also something I noticed while looking back at this, he didn’t have his white hat on with him. In fact he had his white hat on and off throughout the times that I’ve spent with him, weird… kind of forgot that he has one but he didn’t have it on this time around… huh… then again he doesn’t look as good as me with my hat on. It’s a sexy black hat, the special kind of hat… yeah… I’m a good looking piece of ass with my hat on. Anyways, after that statement from Arrell, the second round was over and Arrell was the winner.

And Ghost had then said to the fourth wall audience all with a smile, “The winner of this round was Arrell at seven points! Forrest won only one point, while Neon won zero points! Stay where you are at folks, cause we’re going into the finals, and it’s going to be a zinger!”

MEANWHILE, BEHIND THE SCORE BOARD ON THE SET OF GUESS THE MINOIRTY…

As all of that stuff of Arrell winning the second round and shit like that, Wolf was keeping extra quiet as he was tip toeing around near the back of the score board, which was kind of out in the open but we never noticed, and having an evil look on his face while carrying a bag of various tools that he may or may not have stolen from some other pony’s tool shed or some shit like that.

His facial features could tell you that he had an evil plot in his mind and he was about to execute that evil plot. As he was tip toeing on his wooden claw toe things, he poked out his head a little bit, to sort of take a peek to see just to make sure we didn’t notice him, and we really didn’t. Not because we wanted to do, but because we couldn’t care. And after he was done, he put his head back behind the score board and then looked over to his right, or left… from what I’m seeing it’s my right, but from his perspective his left. Whatever, from his right, there was someone there with him, trying to help him with the little scheme of his.

He said to the mysterious one, “Oh my friends will rue the day when they thought they could ignore me like that and brush me off, like my opinion doesn’t matter at all. But just like some bullied kid at a school, I’m taking out the big guns. I’m going to crash the screen on top of them, which will them disrupt the game show. And since the hambone is in a wheelchair, he won’t be able to help the guys from under the board. But I’ll be there to help out, and once I save them from sudden DEATH… they’ll thank me and will listen to what I have to say from now on. I’LL BE A GOD TO THEM! And it’ll be thanks to you with your help… Engineer…”

So the mysterious one that was with Wolf was the Engineer as he somehow skipped on the show behind Ghost’s back. But he was just standing there like he usually does with his arms kind of limping around, and having the same goofy smile on his face from like before.

Anyways, Wolf continued to speak to the Engineer and said to him, “I’m glad to have a defector from that Ghost prick from over there.”

He had said that while pointing towards the other side of the score board. And with that, the Engineer responded with, “Yaaaaaaaaaay!” while raising both his arms up and cheering a bit.

Wolf then said to him, “That’s right! You’re the real host, the real talent unlike that scuffed douchebag over there.”

Wolf was saying it all with a smug smirk on his face. The Engineer then said out loud, “Ahhhhh… Fuck him! Aaaahhh ahhhh!”

Wolf then put his right wooden paw into the tool bag and grabbed a bottle of booze and said while popping off the top with his mouth, “I’ll drink to that!”

And then Wolf started drinking like there was no tomorrow.

BACK TO THE GUESS THE MINOIRTY SET…

And so back to what was happening on the other side of the score board. Neon and Forrest were already off the stage and with the rest of us losers. Jack was still pissed off, Neon still had his creepy smile, and Forrest was hanging his head low because he had his hopes up a little high, but he was a silver lining kind of guy you know.

He was still happy that he got himself a point, but it was still disappointing to him. And as we were all lined up, pony shoulder to pony shoulder, we were all looking at the final two contestants, Arrell and Mac in that order up on stage. The middle podium was taken off the stage with the other to left and right podiums remaining up the on stage. On the score board, it only had Arrell and Mac’s names on it with their score being reset to zero. And beneath that was ‘Round 3: The Final round’ at the bottom of the board.

And as Arrell and Mac, both with smiles on their faces, took their positions on stage, Ghost rolled on in with his wheelchair with a smile as well and a mic in his right hand and parked his wheelchair in place like the previous two rounds.

From there, he looked at the audience from beyond the fourth wall and said, “And welcome back, to… the final round of GUESS THE MINOIRTY! We have our final two contestants, a battle of the winners from the last two rounds. The winner from round one, Mac Farmer!”

And then the audience from the fourth wall applauded for him as Mac waved both left and right, even though no one was there.

And then Ghost said, “And the winner from round two, Arrell!”

Arrell did pretty much the same thing, but just giving a single wave to the invisible audience and giving a little sly, charming smile.

And once the audience was done, Ghost then said, “So only one wins from this round, and the other one loses. Who will it be? We shall see… So for your final round, you will have only one question. And trust me, it’s a toughie. And it’s a riddle too. So cause of the nature of the question, you will have sixty seconds to think of your answer. And whoever buzzes in first ad gives the correct answer gets the point and wins! Are you two ready?”

Both were nodding their heads, with Mac having an interested look on his face while leaning forward on the podium and Arrell was just smiling and nodding like he was confident he was going to win. So with a few seconds of brief silence, as the tension was rising on in the air, Ghost then gave them their riddle to solve.

Ghost said to the both of them, “Alright then. Niggle me this Batman, what is thirteen and fifty both at the same time? Your sixty seconds starts… now…”

And then a clock somewhere was ticking down and you could hear the ticking sounds that was kind of loud. And as the clock was running, both Arrell and Mac were rolling their eyes, trying to figure out the answer. Arrell was rubbing his head while Mac was scratching his head with his tongue out a little. All the while, the Engineer was back in his old position, looking at Wolf who was sort of peeking out on the side of the score board, while he was drinking and working on sabotaging at the same time.

While he was holding his head back to jug the booze, he was using a hammer, hammering away at the back of the score board. Not sure if he knew that wouldn’t do anything… but he was doing something at least. But the Engineer saw this, gave him a thumbs up, while Wolf kind of saw it by the side of his eyes and did the same with his wooden paws with the one paw that had the hammer in it. And so the seconds kept ticking away, just as time does well.

And eventually, the sixty seconds were up and Ghost said, “Time’s up. Your answer?”

Arrell then quickly buzzed in before Mac could and then said, “Uhhhh… uhhhh..”

Ghost then said to Arrell, “Your answer Arrell?”

Arrell, looking a tad bit nervous then said, “Uhhh… is it Hippogriffs?”

He then gave a little nervous smile, not sure if it was the right one.

Ghost then gave a little second or two for tension, but then said to him outright, “Ooooo sorry, but that is not the answer that we were looking for. The question goes over to Mac; you can steal the point if you get this right and win!!!”

Arrell then looked like he was pissed off like Jack, but a little less obvious than Jack had made it out to be. Like he was kind of pissed, yet not really based on the look on his face.

Mac then said while leaning forward and waving his right forearm up and down constantly and yelled out his answer with an ok face on but with wide eyes, “Ziggers!”

And then Ghost looked down for effect and then said with a serious face for a few seconds, “I’m sorry Mac…. But that is CORRECT!”

He said that last half with joy and enthusiasm and a big ol’ smile on his face.

And then a little bit after that, he butted in a little comment, “I would have also taken Puerto Rican cause why the hell not, BUT YOU ARE THE WINNER MAC FARMER!”

And with that being said, the audience from beyond the fourth wall was applauding and cheering for Mac as a rain of confetti was raining down on Mac as he got out from behind the podium and up on his two back legs and was celebrating, all the while Arrell still looked a little pissed, but gave a weird look to Mac as to what he was doing.

Rewind it a few seconds right before Mac gave the right answer, Wolf was pounding away at the scoreboard, but as he was pounding away carelessly, he accidently hit a wire kind of hard, and since his hammer was made of full metal, he accidently electrocuted himself, but at the same time, at the right second as Mac got the right answer, he triggered the “You’re Winner” sign on the score board along with a poorly 3D rendered golden trophy on the screen.

After Mac had won, the Engineer then clapped and cheered for Mac as he said, “Yaaaaaay!”

All the meanwhile also from somewhere beyond the fourth wall, a big band was playing in the honor of the winner Mac Farmer, congratulating him. All the while, Mac had a surprised look on his face and he had looked happiest that he could be.

And as Mac was celebrating, Ghost rolled up to Mac in his wheelchair with a warm smile and told him, “Congratulations Mac Farmer. You are Guess the Minority’s winner today! And you also win the grand prize!”

Mac looked down at Ghost and asked, “Ob boy! What did I win?”

Ghost then said to Mac with a smile, “You win the grand prize of… TWO BITS!”

Mac then said with cheer and glee, “Oh boy! Two whole bits!? I’M RICH BABY! YEAH!”

He had jumped up when he had said that and raised his left forearm up in the air while having his eyes closed in excitement.

Mac then jumped on the ground on all four, with a tear of joy in his eyes and looking at all the fourth wall audience and said, “I would like to thank my friends for believing in me. I would like to thank the beers that I drink sometimes to get drunk and beat up my little brother that helped me educate myself. And uhhh… FUCK APPLEJACK, I’M BETTER THAN HER! YEAH… I WON! I would also like to thank the academy and…”

As Mac was giving his self gratification acceptance speech, I looked over to Jack who looked like he was calmed down from loosing while raising one eyebrow on my face and said to him, “Two bits? What a fucking Jew.”

As soon as Mac was done giving his little speech, the Engineer walked right up to Mac and handed him a little cheap, made in china, plastic trophy that read, “You win Big!” at the base of the trophy.

And as Mac was holding it with both hooves and showing it off to the fourth wall audience, Wolf was walking out dazed and confused as you could tell he was burnt a little bit from the accidental exposed electric wire, out front of stage. And as he was, he was moaning and groaning, and tried to walk to me I think, but before he could make it to Mac, he collapsed to the left of him.

And then Ghost rolled up right next to Wolf’s collapsed body, and said while doing a wheelie in his wheelchair, “Wooooooo! I love this game baby!”

And that was it, but we would see Ghost later on of course for many, many, many times and little adventures and shit like that… The End… for now…

GHOST WILL BE BACK…

Hey y'all, how's it hanging? Happy 9th anniversary, am I right? Ok so I said this in the monthly update and I'll say it again here. As much as this is fun and all, this is not the main focus, and that next year, you'll see the last one of the Corona shorts for a long while, or maybe not. I don't know yet, haven't decided.

I have the next short sort of vaguely outlined, but whether or not I do it is up in the air, and if I do, it'll be the last one for a long while. I want to focus on doing the episodes / the re-edits, so you'll see one or the other next, whenever I can get around to it.