We now turn our reader's eye back one day, to the Coronation Gala and the goings-on of certain other ponies....

"Okay, one-two-three SHOOT!" Two hooves, one indigo and silver-clad, one white clad in gilt, shot out. The two diarchs regarded their hooves, bemused.

"....I have no idea why we thought that would help," Celestia admitted ruefully.

"Well, sister, we must needs decide this somehow," Luna said. "One of us must oversee the Gala proper, whilst the other tends to the Junior Gala for the colts and fillies of the noble families." Both sisters winced. It had seemed such a good idea at the time. To some extent it still was; for ages both of them had wanted to introduce the newer generation of nobles and royals to courtly functions at a younger age. Now that it was upon them, they were having to face the down side of the situation.

"You do realize what this means," Celestia sighed. "One of us is going to spend the entire evening overseeing a teeming ballroom filled with troublesome, over-privileged, spoiled brats--"

"And the other will have to tend the Junior Gala," Luna quipped.

"That joke was funnier the first twenty times you said it," Celestia said dryly. "Now seriously..."

"Mmph. Either choice doth have drawbacks," Luna said, worrying her lower lip as she thought it over. "But methinks the adults would be miffed at thy absence, while the foals would feel suppressed by thy presence."

"That whole 'all-powerful mother figure' thing again," Celestia agreed, sighing. "Hard to have fun when Mom is looming over you. Are you sure, Luna? I didn't want you to feel you were being.. well.."

Luna thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yes. All in all, twould be best if thou attended the main festivities, whilst I oversaw the Junior."

"Agreed, then. Though I do think your task will be the easier one." Celestia rolled her eyes. "Maker only knows what havoc my former student and her five friends will unleash this time."

Luna scoffed. "They are alicorn princesses now, Celestia--"

"Exactly my point."

"And are bound to be better behaved," Luna finished firmly. "I on the other hand, will be hosting a party with the brats of the upper crust."

"I'm sure you can take them, if they don't gang up on you." Celestia smirked.

"And the Cutie Mark Crusaders." Luna continued.

"Oooh."

"Who apparently have reached, ahem, that age, where they start noticing boys--"

"Oh dear."

"--and are, all three, quite enamored of Princess Fluttershy's younger brother, who is attending as well."

"Oh...DEAR."  The two matriarchs of the alicorns stared at each other for an interminable moment. They both broke out in grins of malicious glee.

"Oh this is going to be too good..." Celestia giggled.

"A wager?" Luna asked.

Celestia grinned. "The usual stakes?" she asked.(1)

"Double or nuthin'."

"Deal." Had anypony wandered through the room at that moment, they would have been treated to the vision of the monarchs of the sun and moon hawking and spitting on their hooves like farmponies and brohoofing as they cackled like cut rate villains.

Sweetiebelle hopped nervously in place, just the tiniest bit. She couldn't help it; her insides felt like she'd eaten a bowl of jumping beans. She couldn't believe it. Here she was, about to go into her very first ultra-swanky grownups party! In Canterlot! In the castle, no less! Well, it was actually a sort of second party just for colts and fillies, set off to the side of the real adult party. But still!

The adults and the foals had parted ways; the adults were waiting outside the doors to the main ballroom, just down the hall, while the colts and fillies were gathering here at the doors to the night gallery. There was already a teeming crowd of colts and fillies in fancy dress, chattering amongst themselves.

She struggled to behave herself as she waited outside the big double doors for her friends to get there. Rarity had just about gone bonkers, doing up her little sister's hair and putting together just the right ensemble' for Sweetiebelle's big high-society debut: soft baby blue dress, a frilled saddle, and a choker with a blue heart gem. She'd even used makeup. Just a little.  It would kill Rarity if Sweetie messed up her hairdo or rumpled her dress or scuffed up her shoes or smudged the teeny bit of mascara or--

Maybe she should just go in and stand in a corner, quietly, till the party was over.

While she was mulling that thought over her friends came trotting up. "Sweetiebelle, there y'are!" It was Applebloom. She was wearing a scalloped red dress trimmed in tiny leaves, dress shoes, and an emerald green bow in place of her usual pink one.  It seemed none of the other Crusaders had escaped Rarity unscathed; Babs was decked out in a simple green wrap and a glittering white rhinestone necklace, and even Scootaloo was fancied up in a lavender dress and a new mane-do. She didn't look happy about it, naturally. "At least the necklace is cool," Sweetiebelle heard her mutter as she tapped the lightning-bolt pendant with a hoof.

"I think you look very nice, Scootaloo," a soft voice said. It was Breezy Shy. He came walking up to where the girls clustered together and ducked his head shyly. "You all do. If you don't mind my saying so..."

The girls looked at him; he was decked out in a colt's tuxedo and gold shoes. His pink mane was combed and slicked back in a sleek, wet style that Sweetiebelle thought made him look very aristocratic. To judge by the smiles on the other girls' faces, they approved of his look too.

"Oh. Y-y-you too," Scootaloo said. To Sweetie's astonishment, Scootaloo did something Sweetiebelle would have never bet on in a million years. She blushed and giggled. She seemed to realize what she'd done; her eyes flew wide and her hoof flew up to her mouth. Before anyone could comment, though, the doors to the Gallery swung open. They could see the gallery beyond, dazzling in chandelier light, with Princess Luna standing attendance on a raised dais. "Welcome, one and all," the Princess of the Moon said in booming, stentorian tones, "to the Junior Gala!"

The crowd of youngsters began pouring in. Before Bloom, Babs or Sweetie could take a step, Scootaloo blocked their path. She spoke rapidly and in a voice low enough that Bishi wouldn't hear. "If any of you breathe a word about what just happened to anypony anywhere anytime ever I will murder you in your sleep." The other three girls-- even Babs-- gulped at the homicidal menace in the pegasus' eyes and nodded, making 'zippered lip' motions with their hooves.

"Oh, um, pardon me," Bishi said, oblivious to the interplay going on right in front of him. "Ladies first." He made a sweeping gesture with one hoof, stepping aside. Scootaloo's face went from scowl to beaming smile instantly. The girls bustled in through the doors smiling, giggling and it must be said, simpering at the pink-maned pegasus colt.

The five of them stood in the entrance, bedazzled by the sparkling dance room. Somepony somewhere struck up an elegant ballroom quartet as colts and fillies from all over Equestria began to mingle. Sweetiebelle began bouncing up and down on her hooves again. "Oh boy oh boy oh boy," she said. "This is going to be the Best. Night. Ever!"

Luna bit back a sigh. The party was going swimmingly, in the fashion of courtly gatherings. The lights were bright, the decorations were elegant, the music refined, the drinks and hors d'oeuvres were a treat to the eye, and the guests were looking bored. What had she been thinking? Galas of this sort were boring to adults, of course they would be boring to colts and fillies! Indeed, after the initial novelty of attending a "real live grown-up" party had worn off, the youngsters had quickly started growing nervous, restless and bored. "This is not working," she muttered to herself.

"You don't say," murmured one of the two Guards standing at her side. Luna gave her the stinkeye. She had made it a practice to let her night guard ponies speak freely and be a bit more informal than her sister's soldiers(2), but this was a bit indecorous.  "Do you have some suggestion you would like to make, my dear guardspony?" she said a trifle tersely.

"Um, loosen up things a bit?" the thestral mare said without looking up.

"The purpose of the Junior Gala," Luna reminded them sternly, "Is to introduce the younger sons and daughters of the nobility to high-class events, so that they can become accustomed to them and learn to--"

"--to be as boring and dull as their parents?" the thestral mare finished. "Your Highness?"

Her partner--strangely enough, a white pegasus from the Day Guard--  coughed discreetly. "What I think my partner is saying, your majesty," he said in a low voice, "Is perhaps this is a bit too formal. Something more appropriate--"

"--Fun--" the nightguard mare interjected.

"--to a party for the younger set might liven the crowd up. Ahem. So to speak." The stallion managed, somehow, to glare at his alternate without turning his head, his eyes, or even altering his expression.

"Because?" Luna pressed.

"Because even you aren't enjoying this?" This from the mare.

Luna's eyebrows tabled. "Touche'," she said. "So what would you recommend, then?"

The night guard mare gave a subtle half-smile and discreetly raised one wing. Tucked up against her side was a small stack of music CDs with rather garish and low-brow labels on their jewel cases. "I took the liberty of, ah, securing some samples from your Highness' music collection in case of emergency," she said.

"Oh thank the maker," Luna muttered, snatching the CDs up in her magical aura. "If I had to listen to any more Neighthoven I'd have lost my mind. He was boring even when he was alive." She quickly trotted over to the pony running the sound system and turned them over. The pony grinned and nodded. A moment later Neighthoven's 14th symphony(3) ended prematurely with the screech of a record needle(4). The strains of violins and piano were summarily replaced with something lighter, more modern, and with a great deal more bounce to it. Luna lightly tapped one hoof and nodded to the beat, smiling to herself as the youngsters perked up and began moving out onto the dance floor.

To her consternation though, while quite a few youngsters paired off and started dancing, the vast majority suddenly seemed to be congregating to the walls; the colts to her left, the fillies to her right, many with noticeable looks of panic on their faces. "What..?" she said, waving her hoof at the two groups, baffled.

"Oh dear." the night guard thestral said, clearly struggling not to laugh. "Cootie phobia."

The lunar princess stared at her open mouthed, utter befuddlement plain on her face. "Cootie... phobia...?" She sounded like somepony trying to repeat a phrase they'd heard in some exotic foreign tongue.

The thestral guard smothered a giggle. "When you started the music, they took it as a cue that they have to dance." Luna waved her hoof, urging her to expound on this. "With each other, your Highness. They just realized that there are foals of the opposite gender in the room, and they're expected to dance with them." She flipped her hoof in the air. "Oh no! Boys! Oh no, Girls! Cootie Central! Eeee!" Her day guard partner ducked his chin and struggled to smother a snort of amusement.

Luna sighed and facehooved.

Breezy Shy was finding the Junior Gala to be rather... busy. He was in the company of four cheerful and outgoing fillies, and as a gentlepony he found himself kept rather busy dancing attendance on all four, fetching cups of punch, holding open doors, pulling out cushions to sit on, that sort of thing. He didn't mind, of course. It was always nice to be together with friends, and having good manners was all about making other ponies feel at ease.

The girls all seemed to be a bit tense, though. Shooting each other funny looks, and one could hardly start to ask him something without one of the others interrupting to ask something else or send him off for another cup of punch. He wished he knew what to do about it; four of them trying to talk to him or walk with him or stand next to him at the same time seemed to really be putting them on edge. They kept shouldering into each other too...

Things finally came to loggerheads when the music suddenly changed from quiet chamber music to something peppy and obviously meant to be danced to. The girls all froze, then looked at him. "Bishi, would you--" "Hey would you like to--" "Hey let's dance Bishi--" "Bishi would you like to dance with me--" They all stopped, glared at each other, and started quibbling.

"Hey, Ah asked first--"

"Did not--"

"Hey youse--"

"I was first--"

"Were not!"

"HEY!" Breezy yelped, starting to panic. The girls all flinched and fell silent, flushing. Breezy coughed and blushed. "Um, I know you're all trying to be nice and dance with me," he said. " And I'd love to dance with all of you....but I really can't dance with all of you at once. And there's no reason to get in a quarrel over it. I'm sure there will be plenty of dances tonight."

The CMC looked chagrined and looked away from each other. "O-okay," Applebloom said finally. "We're sorry, Bishi." The others mumbled apologies as well.

"That's okay," Breezy said with a smile. He turned to Scootaloo. "May I have this dance? Um, if that's alright..." he was interrupted by Scoot's squeal of glee as the pegasus filly all but dragged him out onto the dance floor. The three other fillies watched them go, then turned to each other.

"Let's not fight anymore over Bishi," Applebloom said. "Okay?"

"Yeah, definitely. There ain't no need for it." Babs added.

"Yanno what, I'm gonna... check out what music they're gonna play," Sweetiebelle said suddenly.  "Catch you later." She trotted off.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go check out the buffet, see what kinda fancy foods fancy ponies eat," Applebloom said. She headed off in the opposite direction.

"Yeah and I'm... gonna stand here and talk to myself," Babs deadpanned. "Whatever." She headed off in a third direction, just to be different.

Breezy found out quickly that Scootaloo was a whirlwind on the dance floor. She spun him around and had him out of breath in no time flat. "You certainly like to dance, don't you," he managed to gasp between breaths. Scootaloo just laughed and did a high kick over his head. "Goodness!" He decided to save his breath and concentrated on keeping up with her.

The first song ended and the two pegasus foals stood there panting and laughing. Another song kicked in, as lively as the first. Scootaloo grinned. "One more?"

"But--" Breezy started to say.

"Please?" the orange filly started to beg, grinning. She glanced up, though, and her smile faded. Breezy looked up; several of the older pegasus colts and fillies were taking the dance to the air, doing flips and loop-the-loops around each other in an aerial jig. As he watched Scootaloo's smile disappear entirely. "Never mind," she mumbled, starting to leave the dance floor.

"Wait, what's wrong?" Breezy asked.

Scootaloo looked over her shoulder at him, biting her lip. "I.. I can't..."

His hoof rested on her shoulder. "You can't fly yet?" Scootaloo nodded jerkily, ashamed. Bishi smiled. "Sure you can."

Scootaloo blinked at him, then scowled. "No I can't, I oughta know--"

"Yes, you can," Bishi said firmly. "Let me show you. Here, give me your hooves." He held out his forehooves to her. Puzzled, she turned around and rested her forehooves on top of his. "Now close your eyes..." She closed them obediently. "Now. Hold your forelegs down while I push up. Flap your wings. Up and down... okay... faster now....  just a little more..."

Scootaloo felt his hooves pressing up on hers. They felt strange all of a sudden, warm and tingly...Her cheeks got warm. Her wings got all warm and tingly too.  she was surprised at how strong he was, he was lifting her up so that her back hooftips started to leave the floor.

"Okay, now open your eyes."

Scootaloo blinked, and she was not just hovering an inch off the floor. She and Bishi were hovering together, halfway to the ceiling. She gasped and started. "Don't let go!" Bishi said hastily. She nodded nervously and kept her hooves firmly in his.

"H-how?" she yelped.

Bishi smiled, his eyes twinkling. "All ponies are magical," he said. "The magic comes out of us through our horns, our wings and our hooves. I'm using some of my magic--" he nodded at his hooves "And pushing it out of my hooves, and into you... to push your magic out through your wings." His smile got wider. "See? You have plenty of magic inside you, you just needed a little help to get it to come out."

"B-but I couldn't do this myself--"

"You will someday, I'm sure," Breezy Shy assured her. "My mom says 'Anypony can do anything if they have someone to share it with.' "

Scootaloo looked in his eyes and felt her insides turn to goo.

One song later, Breezy Shy left Scootaloo standing by the DJ and bashfully escorted Sweetie Belle out on the floor. Scootaloo (who was still hovering in midair) smiled goofily at the pony manning the CD player. "Having a good time, kid?" he asked her.

Scootaloo nodded, giggled, and hiccuped.

Fancy Toff (Toffee to his friends), third son of the Earl of Winniepeg,  found the Junior Gala to be a bit... plebeian. No, he corrected himself, that wasn't the correct term. Plebeian meant "common." Commoners were interesting. Or at least amusing. This party wasn't. He was only thirteen, but he'd been acclimated to the high society circles of his parents since he'd been out of diapers, and this was all depressingly familiar. The same swanky decor, the same overdressed outfits, the same music, the same idle chatter of ponies trying to impress one another with their family's wealth or standing-- the only real difference was that the ponies in question were rather shorter. Well, that and most of them weren't complete twits just yet. At least the younger ones... the teenagers were well on their way to being affectatious prats like their parents. In these circles, a cutie mark was practically a marker for "I have learned to be a stuffy prig."

Perhaps he was just in a bad mood. Getting trapped in a conversation with Upper Crust's obnoxious son for the past fifteen minutes would make anypony ready to gnaw off his own leg to get away, he figured. Blimey.

Thankfully Princess Luna had swapped out the music for something a little more... festive, and the older colts and fillies had ceased from prattling about daddy's new mansion and mummy's new yacht and moved out onto the dance floor. Toffee decided to skip the dancing for now (and evade the simpering fillies who were already sharpening their training talons for snatching up potential husbands) and cruise the buffet line.  

He put a plate together and sought out a seat cushion. He found himself sitting next to a yellow filly about his age with a candy apple red mane and wearing a somewhat apple-themed dress who was nonchalantly stuffing her face with canape's. She gave him a polite nod. "Howdy," she said... hastily setting her plate down and covering her mouth with a hoof when she realized she'd spoken with her mouth full. "Pardon."

"Quite all right," he said drily.His ear twitched at her drawling accent. "I say, are you from Appleoosa?" How rustic. Imagine some dusty Appaloosan coming to a Canterlot Gala...

"Oh, uh, no, but ah got a cousin who lives thar," the filly said. "Ah come from Ponyville."

Ponyville! That got his interest. "Strewth!" he said. " That little town where all the ruckus started?"

The filly pulled a wry grimace at him. "Y'all 're gonna have to be more specific than that," she said. "Ponyville might as well be called Ruckus Central." She popped another canape' in her mouth, chewing solidly.

Toffee laughed. "Where all the new Princesses ascended!" he said.

The filly shrugged. "Yeah, I guess that'd be the big'un to most folks," she admitted.

"I can't imagine what kind of a town it is where six alicorns showing up is small news," Toffee said, a little amused. Good heavens, were all country folk really that hard to impress? He was starting to wonder if she was a little thick.

"You don't know Ponyville," the filly said matter-of-factly. "I'm Applebloom, by the way." She stuck out her hoof, obviously to shake.

Toffee took her hoof in his, like he'd been shown, and kissed it. "Fancy Toff," he said. "But my friends call me Toffee." The hoof kiss startled Applebloom so badly she almost tipped off her cushion. She pulled her hoof back a bit quickly, blushing.

"Well ain't you forward," she said uncertainly, tucking the offended hoof in toward herself.

Toffee flushed, ears flicked back."Sorry," he said. "That's supposed to be how a gentlepony greets a lady. " No doubt she's from the sticks if she doesn't know about courtly behavior.

"A lady?" Applebloom said. "Ah ain't no lady, I'm just an Apple." There was a smile on her face though and her cheeks were pink.

Toffee blinked. "An Apple? You mean from the Apple family? Princess Applejack's family?"

"She's mah big sister," Applebloom confirmed.

Toffee's mouth hung open in astonishment. "Should I bow, or something?" he laughed. Oh this was too rich!

To his astonishment Applebloom stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at him. "No way. I'd never hear the end of it!"

There was a brief lull in the conversation. Applebloom filled it by stuffing more tidbits from her plate into her mouth. "Sooo, how are you liking life in Canterlot so far?" Toffee finally ventured.

Applebloom shrugged. "Ah ain't really here to stay," she said. "I'm just here f'r a few weeks, then it's back to the farm." She shrugged again. "It's nice enough though. Real fancy like, even if it is a little stuffy." She looked down on her plate. "Th' food, though...these fancy snacks ain't got a scratch on Granny Smith's fritters. An' y' gotta pick an' choose real careful like. Ah heard about some of the weird things that fancy type ponies eat--" she gave a theatrical shudder. "-- fish eggs an' snails an' what not-- I'd spit my bit if someone tried to make me eat anything like... what?" she paused when she noticed he was looking at her plate with an amused expression on his face.

"Um..." he raised his hoof. "I hate to say this but--" he pointed to one of the caviar-dolloped crackers on her plate. "That black stuff there? That's ... um... "

A look of horror slowly spread across her face. "What? What?"

He told her.

"Fuh...fish..." her pupils shrank to dots. She seemed to wilt where she sat; even her hair ribbon withered. She looked down on her plate of half-eaten food, swallowing. "Oh Celestia, Luna and Discord."

Toffee managed to keep a straight face. Barely. "Oh come on, it's not that bad--"

"Whu-- what about the rest of it?" Applebloom said weakly.

"Um." Toffee looked down. "Well... ahh... those little toast things, that's shrimp toast...it's a gryphon recipe..."

"Shrimp?"

"Uh, sort of like... what do they call them? Oh yes, crawdads. You know what crawdads are?"

"Oh Maker..."

"Hey, it's all right," he tried to reassure her. "Ponies can actually eat meat. It's an acquired taste, but--"

"That ain't the point!" Applebloom gagged. "Yore tellin' me a I ate a mashed up mud bug??"

"I... wouldn't put it that way..." Toffee hedged desperately. Because I'd never be able to look at shrimp toast the same way again if I did, he thought to himself.

"Oh Maker," Applebloom whimpered. "Please tell me them little yaller things is just cheese."

Toffee looked and laughed. "Yes, yes, they're just cheese." Goat cheese, but I think I shan't tell you that.

The filly seemed to regain some confidence. "And the little crackers with the gray stuff?" She pointed.

Toffee cleared his throat. "That's pate'."

"Pat-tay?" Applebloom queried.

"Pate' de foie gras," Toffee said. "....Goose liver paste." He winced.

That did it. the filly's pupils turned to pinpricks. Her face turned a spectacular shade of green. The plate went flying; she made a sound like "Hrurgh" and bolted, knocking ponies off their feet in her desperate run to find the bathroom.

She almost made it, too.

Out on the floor, Sweetiebelle was practically floating on a cloud. She was no great dancer, but Bishi was a patient dance partner. They hopped and spun around the floor, and he never took his eyes off her. For the first time in her life she felt pretty and special... like a lady. Was this what Rarity was always going on about? If it was, it was worth it.

"Are you having a good time?" Bishi asked her.

She nodded eagerly. "Oh, yes!" she said. "Only..."

"Yes?"

She gulped nervously. "The next dance -- the next slow dance -- could we have that dance, too?"

"Oh, okay," Bishi said with a shy smile. "If-if you want to, that is."

The song they were dancing to ended and, ermagersh, the next one was a slow number.(5) The lights dimmed; Bishi blushed and smiled. Sweetiebelle gulped and and smiled shakily back. They moved in closer...

Just as the most godawful sound echoed the length of the Gallery.

"BLEEEEAEEAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHH."

Expressions of surprise, confusion and (in one corner of the room) disgust filled the air. "Oh dear," Bishi said, looking over other ponies' heads in consternation. "I hope that poor moose is all right!"

Sweetiebelle felt the mood shatter like a champagne glass under a sledgehammer. "Oh, no..." she moaned. "Darn you, Applebloom..." She started hustling in the direction of the disturbance.

Bishi looked at her in surprise. "What makes you think that's Applebloom?"

Sweetiebelle looked over her shoulder at him. "The last time I heard that sound, she and Scootaloo had just had an ice-cream eating contest."

"Um. Who won?" Breezy Shy couldn't help asking.

"Nobody. I was sitting between 'em."

"Oh... my..."

They found Applebloom in the lobby just outside the double doors, sitting on the floor and sobbing. There was a rather nasty puddle of sick on the floor, and a circle of colts and fillies standing about rubbernecking and making exclamations of disgust and generally making a useless nuisance of themselves. One or two of the fillies had apparently been standing too close when Applebloom had her accident; their expensive looking dresses were splashed and they were screeching up a storm.

More than a few in the background were smirking at the debacle.

Sweetiebelle and Breezy were at Applebloom's side in a twinkling. Sweetiebelle helped the distraught earth filly to her feet while Breezy whipped out his kerchief and went to clean her face."There there now," he said in his soft voice. "It'll be okay..."

"No it will not!" one of the party fillies screeched. "Look-- just look what she did to my new silk dress-- silk imported all the way from Saddle Arabia! My daddy paid a fortune for this gown and it's ruined!!"

Sweetiebelle squinted narrowly at the gown in question. "Well your daddy got robbed," she said bluntly. "That isn't Arabian silk, it's cheap art silk at best. Low thread count stuff, too; my sister wouldn't even use that stuff to make sofa pillows." The fillies present gasped; the unicorn filly in question was left with her mouth hanging open, speechless at the audacity. Sweetiebelle looked closer. "And the rubies in the hem are actually garnets, by the way."

The other soiled filly, a mint green unicorn, smirked maliciously. "Well, at least one of us isn't out an expensive dress," she said. "It's always important to check credentials on your designer, ey, Ruby Drop? That's why I got a Mare Dupree original."

Sweetiebelle gave her the once over. "I wouldn't be too sure," she said. "I recognize the lace overskirt. It's an off-budget  knockoff of a Mare Dupree original." The green filly's mouth shut so suddenly her jaw clicked. "also the arms are a size tight, the hems are clearly machine stitched, the pleats are uneven, the under fabric looks like toile, and the stitch count is half what Mare Dupree uses in her designs in the first place, so it's obviously a pret-au-portier number that someone sewed up a bit to make look like a Mare Dupree. Both your daddies are probably out about a hundred bits." She paused. "Between them."

The two fillies were rapidly going from speechlessly stunned to speechlessly incandescent. The wiser ponies present were backing away; the more cutthroat ones were trying to edge closer for a better look. All of them were concealing either distress or glee, depending on where in the social ladder they were in relation to the two humiliated rich fillies.

"Um, Sweetiebelle, maybe you should go fetch somepony with a mop," Breezy Shy said guardedly. Sweetie, completely oblivious to the smouldering doom she'd ignited not three steps distant from her own tender hide, nodded and galloped off. Breezy Shy led Applebloom away from the cluster of gawking ponies. He waved down a waiter passing with a tray of drinks. "Excuse me, sir, but my friend could use a flat ginger pop for her stomach." He looked back over at the cluster of colts and fillies and the two fuming rich brats. "And, um, a round of club sodas for everypony over there, to get the stains out," he added. The waiter nodded and trotted off.

Once the sodas were dispersed and the castle janitor was on site with a mop, Breezy sat down next to Applebloom and handed her the ginger pop. "For your tummy," he said. "And to wash the taste out of your mouth." He and Sweetie dipped napkins in club soda and began cleaning the spatter off her dress. "What happened? Do you have the flu?"

Applebloom gave him a sad watery look. "They fed me fish eggs and goose guts," she said in a quavery, broken voice.

It took a minute for Bishi to translate. "Oooh, caviar and pate'?" he said.

Applebloom nodded. "Why would Princess Luna serve fish eggs and mud bugs and goose gut paste to a bunch of ponies?"

"Um, it's an acquired taste?"

Babs found herself relatively disinterested in the dance or the buffet line at the moment. Besides, there seemed to be kind of a rumpus going on at one end of the room, so she decided to steer clear and just look around at the Gallery. She'd never been in Canterlot Castle before, so it was pretty interesting looking at the art and all the fancy architecture wingdings.

At the moment she was looking over one of the Royal Guards who were standing attention around the edges of the room. He wasn't nearly as stiff and quiet as the usual guards, shifting from hoof to hoof and idly looking about. Come to think of it, he looked really young. He was probably a rookie. No professional Royal Guard would get so fidgety just from having somepony staring at them, either.

The guard, for his part, was getting a touch bothered. The orange and red earth pony filly had been staring him up and down for five minutes solid. It was bloody unnerving. "Can I help you?" he finally asked.

"You're not a real Royal Guard, are ya," she said.

"I most certainly am!" he snapped, offended. Sure, it had been a little... irregular... but he'd been sworn in by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, fair and square. He even had the Princesses' Bit(6) and everything. Even if he had only been one week into training.

"Then why are you wearing cadet armor? And--" she stepped closer, squinting. "--Is that gold paint?"

"Look kid, will you just go away?" the harried guard pleaded.

"Fine, fine, no need to bite my flank off," Babs said. "Sheesh." She turned to trot off. Maybe she could strike up a conversation with some of the colts and fillies all clustered against the walls. She looked around for a likely group of ponies to chat to.

What she saw next made her heart drop into her hooves. Babs' family weren't complete strangers to the upper crust; they were pretty successful zeppelin-setters(7) in Manehattan. That meant that Babs knew more than a few high society types, or at least their children.

Most of them she knew to her regret.

In this particular case, she recognized a group of colts and fillies who attended the same private school she did. They were popular, they were from wealthy families (though who wasn't at that school?) and they did everything together. They were also the most horrible bullies in her school.

The leader of the group, a stocky earth pony colt with a blue coat, a black mane and a bit coin cutie mark, looked up and saw her. He recognized her almost immediately. The leer that spread across his face was the stuff of her worst nightmares. "Hey, everypony, look who's here!" He said. He sounded almost jovial. "It's little Baby Babs!" Four sets of eyes turned and locked on her. They were as cold and pitiless as the eyes of a hydra.

She didn't wait for the other horseshoe to drop. She turned around and ran.

Scootaloo was trying to chat up the DJ when Sweetiebelle came running up. "What's up, Sweetie?" she asked the panting unicorn.

"Applebloom sort've had an accident," she panted. She quickly told Scootaloo the abbreviated summary of what happened.

"Yeeeurgh," Scootaloo said, sticking her tongue out. "Ponies actually eat that kind of stuff? Sick!  We'd better find Babs and warn her to keep away from the buffet."

"Yeah," Sweetiebelle said. "Otherwise we'll have two ponies ralphing all over the Gala."

A hasty search revealed no sign of the Manehattan filly on the dance floor or (thankfully) at the buffet. It took several pointed questions to the staff, but they finally found Babs in the coat-check room. She was hiding behind several enormous faux-fur coats, huddled and sniffling to herself. "Hey Babs! What the heck are you doing in here?" Scootaloo demanded.

"Gettin' bucked in the teeth by karma," Babs muttered dolefully. At the other crusader's bemused looks she said, "Youse know about the bullies at my school I told you about? A whole gang of 'em are here--- right here at the Junior Gala. The worst of the bunch, too. PennyWorth and his stooges and their nasty filly friends. They know I'm here too."

"So you're gonna what, hide in here the whole night?" Scootaloo exclaimed in disbelief. This was so not Babs. Scootaloo could hardly believe the brash ex-bully was cowering in a coat closet like this. "Big mouthed bullies shouldn't be making you back down! Wasn't that the whole point of you becoming a Cutie Mark Crusader?"

Babs snorted disdainfully. "Are you kiddin'? The first time I went strutting around in that cape, everypony in school took one look and laughed themselves sick at it. Then they took it and my saddlebags and threw 'em up in a tree." She sniffed and rubbed her nose on her fetlock. "Me'n the other two Crusaders have to hide our capes an' stuff an' meet in secret to keep from getting picked on and beat up. " Not that hiding helped much, she reflected.

"They.. beat you up?" Sweetiebelle asked, disbelieving. Babs nodded. Pennyworth and his gang weren't wilting lilies like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Babs and the other two foals got beat up, punched, pinched hard enough to leave bruises, their possessions broken and torn up pushed in the mud and more. Poor Dusky got stuffed in his locker by Pennyworth and his stooges almost every day. And thanks to Pennyworth's rotten filly friends, she and Emerald couldn't even escape the namecalling and bullying by running to the little filly's room-- if they tried, Marzipan and Ivy just followed them in and continued the torment. Pennyworth had the whole school calling them names, "Baby Babs," "Diaper Dusky," "Little wittle Emmy..."

"Don't the grownups do anything?" Sweetiebelle protested. Babs just snorted. If any of them told a grownup, nothing happened but the bullies getting their revenge, punishing them even worse. Worse, the whole school shunned them as crybabies and squealers.

Scootaloo scowled. "All right, c'mon, knock it off!" she said. Babs looked up in surprise. "You think anypony here is gonna let those plotheads pick on you? C'mon, Princess Luna is right here. And there's Princess Rainbow Dash, and Princess Applejack--- shoot, if she caught anypony picking on her cousin Princess Applejack would buck 'em to the moon!"

"Yeah, and even if she wouldn't, you've got US now," Sweetiebelle said stoutly. "You mess with one Crusader you get the whole club!"

Babs looked up at them and her eyes went watery. They really do mean it... "I'm the worst pony ever," she blubbered. "I was so mean and rotten to youse when I came to Ponyville, as bad as my bullies ever were, and now you're so nice to me--"

The two looked abashed. Scootaloo shrugged awkwardly. "Hey, you were sorry and you wanted to be better," she said. "That makes all the difference." Babs couldn't contain herself any longer. She jumped up and caught the two fillies in a fierce neck hug. "Ack! Okay, we love you too," Scootaloo said. "C'mon, let's go back out there, Applebloom had a little, uh, accident, Bishi is helping her clean up."

The three of them left the coat-check room and went back to the Gallery.

"Aww, there she is! And look-- she's got new friends!" Babs bit back a swear word and groaned. Couldn't they have waited a few minutes before showing their faces? The three fillies turned around. There stood PennyWorth and his hangers on-- a unicorn and pegasus colt who looked like they ate rocks for breakfast, and a unicorn filly with a poufy bouffant and a waspish expression on her face. There were other colts and fillies gathered round; most of the younger ones, presumably ponies without cutie marks yet, noticeably kept their distance. It looked like PennyWorth had wasted no time spreading his charm around the Gala.

Babs looked over at her friends, who were clearly sizing up the bullies and not liking what they saw. They looked a great deal less confident than they had before. "Uh.. are these the guys you were talking about?" Sweetiebelle said nervously.

"Holy horseapples, what are they feeding them?" Scootaloo said.

"Why Baby Babs," the filly said with a poisonous smile on her face. "Imagine seeing you here! Somepony let you out of your crib, I see." Her eyes glittered. "Who are your little friends? New blank flanks for your playpen?" The girls' flanks were hidden underneath their dresses, but it didn't take much to guess, obviously.

Sweetiebelle mustered everything she'd picked up from her sister. She stepped forward, tipping her nose in the air. "I am Sweetiebelle, younger sister to Princess Rarity, the alicorn of Generosity," she said in the loftiest tone she could muster.

Scootaloo picked up her cue and stepped forward as well. "And I'm Scootaloo a... uh.. apprentice to Princess Rainbow Dash, the alicorn of Loyalty," she said.

Sweetiebelle did her best to look down her nose at the earth pony bully. "And who might YOU be?" she said haughtily, her voice squeaking a bit on the 'you.'.

The response was less than satisfactory. The four bullies exploded into mocking laughter. "Well, Princess Squeakybelle," PennyWorth said, giving her a poke with one hoof that made her squeak and stumble backwards. "I'm PennyWorth, Heir to the Worth family fortune. I'm one of the twenty richest ponies in Equestria. And I clean little lying bigmouth blank flanks like you and Baby Babs here off the bottoms of my hooves." He leaned in smirking. "C'mon, Princess Squeakybelle. Tell us another one."

"It's not a lie," Sweetiebelle said, deflated but trying to stand her ground.

Things naturally took a turn for the worse. Two more fillies-- the fillies Applebloom had gotten sick on-- came bustling up. The mess on their dresses had been washed out with club soda, but it looked as if the stains might set. The wet marks only made them more obvious. "Penny, Penneeeee," the green one whined. "You would not believe what some little plebe did to--" she looked over and saw Sweetiebelle standing there. "You!" she hissed.

"What is it, Ivy?" PennyWorth said, rolling his eyes.

Ruby Drop was the one to answer. "That little nag's friend," she said, pointing a hoof, "threw up all over our gowns! And then she told everyone here that our gowns are cheap knockoff fakes!" The filly seethed.

"Also true," Sweetiebelle chirped. The two bullying fillies went thermonuclear.

"She made us a laughingstock!"

"Kick her flank, Penny!" Ivy demanded.

"Hey, back off, you--" Scootaloo said, blustering. The unicorn goon shoved her back on her rump with one hoof.

Babs stepped into the gap, glowering. "Back off, PennyWorth," she said. "You try anything and you'll be in so much trouble-- I'll go straight to the Princess myself--"

Pennyworth quickly looked over his shoulder. Then turned back, smirking. "What Princess?"

Babs looked past him to where Princess Luna was standing. Was supposed to be standing. The dais was conspicuously empty of Princesses of the Night. "Oh no.."

PennyWorth chuckled. "Well gee Fellas, looks like Baby Babs wants to stick up for her widdle friends. All for one and one for all, huh?" He cracked the joints in his neck. "I guess they all gotta pay the price, then."

The hulking pegasus next to him hur-hurred. "Make 'em do the Diaper Dance," he slurred.

Bab's face melted into horror. "No," she said. "You wouldn't! You can't!"

"Works for me," PennyWorth said cheerfully. "We take 'em outside and the girls make 'em do the Diaper Dance. Sound good to you, girls?" The three fillies cackled with glee. They began herding the crusaders towards a pair of Prance glass doors that opened onto the patio.

"The diaper dance?" Scootaloo asked Babs fearfully, backing up next to her. Sweetie huddled in on the other side.

"They made Dusky do it once," Babs said. "He came to school in his Crusader cape. They took it from him,  made him wear it like a diaper, and then made him dance in it all the way around the playground." Her eyes were hellish. "He didn't come back to school the rest of the semester. He couldn't."

"I figure those cheap tacky little skirts will make good diapers for the dancing babies," Ivy cooed mockingly. "Once we tear them off the dress..."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The bullies turned. Behind them stood Bishi. He was supporting a slightly disheveled Applebloom with one wing. The three cornered crusaders nearly collapsed in relief. "Bishi, go get a guard or somethin'!" Babs yelped. "Better yet get the princess!"

Bishi ignored her. He left Applebloom and stepped between the two groups, turning to face the bullies. "You're being very mean and very cruel," he said in his soft voice. "And you're picking on three fillies who are way smaller than you. I think you should apologize, and go away."

PennyWorth and his flunkies brayed with laughter. "And what if I don't, pretty boy?" PennyWorth mocked.

Bishi looked at the floor, tracing a circle with one hoof. "Then, um, I'll have to stop you. I guess."

PennyWorth howled. When he finally caught his breath, he said "I'd like to see you-- hey, what's this? What are those?"

While he and his hangers-on had been laughing, Bishi had kicked off his shoes and was putting on what looked like padded booties on all four hooves. "these are training shoes," Bishi explained.

"Hah. And what are those for?" PennyWorth said.

Bishi shrugged and stood up. "So I don't break your jaw when I kick you in the face." He reared up.

"Wha--"

BAP! BIFF! BAP! BIFF! WHOP! WHOP! WHOP! BAFF! POP! BAP!

Everypony stood slackjawed as Bishi proceeded to hoof-boot the butterscotch out of PennyWorth's head. The meek little pegasus' front hooves were a blur as he delivered what had to be a dozen lightning fast jabs to the other colt's face. For good measure he'd hop back and deliver a high kick to the chin with his back hoof every two or three punches. The arrogant bully was flailing his forehooves around, not landing a hit; he was not so much rearing up himself as he was having his forehooves lifted off the ground by the rain of hooves to his face.

Bishi finally hopped back, still standing on his back hooves in a wary stance. PennyWorth flopped to the ground, clutching his hooves to his face and squalling like a newborn foal. There was a trickle of blood from his nose and another from the corner of his rapidly swelling lip. His stooges stared at him in stunned amazement.

He finally recuperated enough to shout at them. "Get him!"

The two muscleponies started to surge forward. The pegasus suddenly grunted and folded up, falling to the floor with his eyes bugged out. He'd forgotten about Applebloom standing behind him, and the farmpony, seeing which way the wind was blowing, turned around and delivered a two-hoofed apple-buck, as her sister would have said, right where his apple tree forked.

The other one hulked forward, his horn glowing--he fared no better. Sweetiebelle was a surprisingly fast thinker in a fight. She leapt forward and delivered the meanest (8)dirty pool fighting trick you could use on a unicorn; she slapped the end of his horn with her hoof. There was a sound like someone twanging a ruler on the edge of a table; He went down, his magic out of commission and his eyes crossed.

The next instant Ivy had pounced on her, assumptively in defense of her coltfriend. The two unicorns went rolling across the floor, biting and kicking. Ruby Drop went in aid of their friend, only to get Scootaloo and Babs leaping on her back.

Marzipan, being the prissiest of the mares, stood there squealing uselessly for a second. When nopony went for her rather weak damsel in distress act, she started to wade into the fray herself. She found herself facing a scowling Applebloom, who was standing over the colt she'd downed. "One more step and yer spittin' teeth," the farmpony said.

Marzipan promptly folded to the floor in a faint. "Wuss," Applebloom said scornfully.

Ivy on the other hand was a vicious little minx. She had Sweetiebelle's mane in her hooves and teeth and was pulling and tearing away as if she fully intended to rip the mane right out of the smaller filly's scalp. Through tears of pain Sweetiebelle let loose a surge of magic. A swarm of sparks exploded between her and Ivy, forcing Ivy to drop her grip and roll away. The first volley was followed by a second-- a cloud of sparks that showered around Ivy's hooves, popping and snapping like Jubilee firecrackers. "Ai! Yeek! WAh!" the green unicorn yelled, hopping and dancing frantically. "You little--!"

Scootaloo wasn't above a little hair-pulling herself. She was up in Ruby Drop's face, yanking at her mane and buffeting her about the head with her wings like an infuriated bantam rooster. Ruby Drop flailed about madly till she threw the pegasus filly off-- only to get a hoof square to the face from Babs. She went down and Babs went after her like Winona after a bone. Ruby Drop had always taken the lead in tormenting Babs in PennyWorth's absence, and Babs was out for her pound of flesh.

PennyWorth had actually managed to get back to his feet. His lip was already grotesquely swollen and his right eye was already swelling shut. He loomed up and went for Breezy Shy, murder in his eye. "I'm gonna rip off your wings and EAT them," he snarled through his busted lip.

Bishi made a startled squeak and decided to stop messing about. He spun about and delivered the hardest two-hoofed buck to PennyWorth's chin that he could muster. Padded hooves or no, it rang Pennyworth's bell. He staggered backward on his hind hooves, right into his two buddies who were just getting off the floor. The three of them, completely off balance, tumbled backward and fell on the end of the buffet table.

This would have been a pretty mess all by itself. As it stood, however, forces had aligned against them. The three colts in question were rather sizable for their age. Furthermore the punch bowl at this end of the table was rather larger than the one at the other end, and was also more full. Add together the general distribution of plates and serving trays down its length and, well, to be brief, the table flipped up and launched its contents....pretty much everywhere.

Thousands of bits in appetizers, bite-sized gourmet items, and exotic foodstuffs that were the painstaking effort of the royal kitchen (and one Gryphon chef who was a bit poorly versed on what canapes were appropriate for a roomful of school-age ponies) went sailing into the air and rained down on those gathered, colt, filly, guardspony, and waitstaff alike. The larger of the two punch bowls slid off the end of the table, pouring its contents over the stunned colts, half drowning them.

The other punch bowl, contrary to the laws of comedic cause and effect, did not soar across the room to land atop somepony of importance, drenching them in a socially topical and humorous fashion, but instead arced in the opposite direction to come crashing down right on top of the sound system just as the hapless DJ leapt to safety.  Sparks flew in gouts; the speakers made a sound like someone feeding an electric cat into the Cider Squeezy 6000, and all the lights in the Gallery blew out.

It was at this precise moment that Princess Luna, accompanied by none other than Discord, entered through the patio doors. The two immortals stopped and gaped, disbelieving, at the anarchy before them.  All the lights were blown, some few fitfully sparking. Ponies were yelling and running back and forth, slipping and falling in the puddles of food and drink spattered across the room. The DJ stand was crackling in flame.

And before them were the CMC. Bishi was standing in a karate stance, sparring mitts on his hooves, standing watch over three badly battered foals twice his size, one of whom was still curled up lamenting his progeny. Sweetiebelle was holding another filly at hornpoint, shooting sparks at her hooves and yelling "Dance, varmint!" While Applebloom was sitting atop another and dousing her with punch, trying to wake her. Scootaloo and Babs were going the more direct route, holding a third filly face down by her mane in what was left of the punch bowl. "The Diaper Dance, huh?" Babs was screeching at the flailing filly. "Gonna make me do the Diaper Dance, huh, Ruby Drop? Well that's when I'm gonna let you back up-- when you're old enough to wear granny diapers!"

Luna was speechless. Discord not so. He clapped his mismatched hands together in glee.

"Oh Luna---And here I thought you'd forgotten my birthday!"

1) The highest stakes of all: the winner got all the loser's desserts for a week.

2) It's hard to maintain rigid, Royal-Guard style discipline when one of your duties is to spend Nightmare Night running about with the Princess yelling "booga booga!" at trick-or-treating foals.

3) Fourteenth in a series of over 100 excruciatingly long and insomnia-curing compositions

4) Considering he was playing CDs, this is rather extraordinary.

5) The adolescent panic in the air was palpable.

6) The pony equivalent of the King's Shilling.

7) Like jet-setters, only more slow and ponderous. We'll refrain from adding "and gassier too."

8)well. Second meanest.

Next Chapter: Chapter 9 Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 14 Minutes