The astute reader may be wondering: in all this time taken with alicorn bathing, Silphium harvesting, potion brewing and exposition revealing--- where was the rescue party? What happened to the band of ponies who had set out to find their Princess who had been unceremoniously dragged off into the swamp? What was delaying them?

...At the moment, a rather large bipedal turtle with an unpleasant smile on its face.

The search party had, of course, split up into groups of three to five ponies so as to cover more ground (and water, and air) in the swamp. SweetieBelle, Southern Comfort (who had insisted on joining them), Dapper Blue (one of the stallions from Rarity's Radiant Guard, an impeccably dressed sky blue pony with a dark blue mane), Jade Blossom and Marigold had formed one party, and were as circumstances dictated the one group heading in closest to the correct direction when they had found their way blocked by a kappa.

Kappas are magical aquatic creatures with exceptionally unpleasant feeding practices. The one before them was a typical specimen, resembling a large, bipedal turtle with a long bobbly neck, a straggly-haired head with a bowl-shaped indentation in the top, and long, deceptively gangly, froglike limbs poking out of the four corners of his shell.  He was smirking confidently. He didn't care that the odds were five to one against. Even if all five had been earth ponies-- and a typical earth pony could uproot an oak tree with the right harnessing-- Kappas, so long as they had water from their home pool in the bowl on their heads, were stronger than a dozen earth ponies. He fully intended to grab them, one by one, and drag them down into his pool, and didn't expect to have a lick of trouble doing it. He gave the ponies a jagged-toothed smile and waited, webbed hands folded over the moss-stained sash around his waist. Here and there in the distance they could see hollowed-out heads poking above the water, watching.

The party had been boating deeper into the swamp when they had come to a series of small pools, separated from one another by a network of grassy ridges. They had run the boat aground and started across on hoof, when the kappa had surfaced from one of the pools and blocked their way. The ponies stood frozen. "Oh dear," Southern Comfort said quietly.

"Should we fight?" Marigold said, her wings fluttering.

Southern Comfort shook his head imperceptibly. "No, he's far stronger than he looks."

"Should we run for it?" Dapper Blue muttered cautiously. He looked back to where they had left the boat run aground.

Again Southern Comfort shook his head. "These buggers are way faster than they look. We wouldn't make ten steps. And if you think you can outrun a natural swimmer in a rowboat, you're welcome to try."

Jade Blossom smiled. "Don't worry, I know how to handle these things." She looked at Sweetiebelle, who had by misfortune been in the lead when the kappa surfaced and blocked the land bridge they had been crossing. "Sweetiebelle? He's looking at you---"

Sweetiebelle whimpered.

"Sweetiebelle, I need you to follow my lead. When I say to, I need you to bow to him."

"Bow to him?" Sweetiebelle asked.

"Yes. As deep as you can. Okay?  Everypony, follow Sweetiebelle's lead." Jade Blossom cleared her throat. "Presenting her royal Grace, Duchess Sweetiebelle, Sister of Princess Rarity, Alicorn of Generosity and co-ruler of Equestria..."

Sweetie took her cue. She bowed deeply at the foreleg, lowering her horn. Behind her the grownups did the same, as solemnly as they could manage.

The kappa's smirk turned to a scowl. Nevertheless, he folded his webbed hands before him and bowed deeply. The water in his bowled head spilled out, trickling down his face.

Jade Blossom did a little hop, smiling triumphantly. "Hah! That did it! He's weak as a kitten now! Now we--"

"HAIIIKEEEBA!" Sweetiebelle shrieked. She grabbed a nearby rock in her magic and brought it up in a sweeping arc. It caught the kappa right in the point of his lowered chin before rocketing into the sky. The blow was so fierce it snapped his head backward against the hump of his shell. Stunned, the kappa spun about and flopped backward off the land bridge. He landed back in the pool he'd emerged from with an enormous splash and promptly sank out of sight. Sweetiebelle jumped up and down, cheering. "Yeah! He went down like a PUNK!"

Jade Blossom grimaced and pulled the filly back to her. "That he did, Sweetie," she said unhappily. "Because all the water in his bowl spilled out." The water in the pool boiled, and the kappa surfaced. He looked mad. "Unfortunately he fell back in the water and now it's full again..."

Sweetiebelle stopped bouncing. "Oooops..."

"Exactly."

"He looks mad," somepony murmured.

"Yes, yes I'd say he's pretty mad..."

The kappa stood in water up to its waist, glaring at them. With slow, deliberate motions it reached into its sash, pulled out a ceramic pot lid, and clapped it firmly on its concave head. It then took a scrap of cloth and tied it firmly down.

"Now that's different."

"oh dear..."

At that precise moment Sweetiebelle's rock, which had rocketed skyward after clipping the kappa on the chin, reached the apex of its flight and came plummeting back down. With a loud CRACK it struck the kappa's head square in the center of the ceramic lid. Bits of pottery and pond-water went everywhere. For a moment the monster stood there, the stone wedged in the concave dent on top of its head. Then it's eyes crossed and with a rather goofy smile it slowly toppled over. This time, it did not resurface.

The ponies regarded the ripples where the monster had sunk. A few bubbles floated up and popped. "Well I do believe it would be a good idea to move along," Southern Comfort said. Some more or less unanimous agreement and the group began making their hasty way across the swamp again, hastily bowing to the ponds in every direction as they went. (1)

They were a healthy distance away from the ponds when to their alarm they heard a scream. "My word, some mare's in trouble!" Southern Comfort said.

"Omigosh, did they run into the kappas?" Sweetiebelle said, distressed.

"I think we aim to find out," Dapper Blue said, drawing a wicked-looking rapier from under his dress jacket. Concerns about unseen kappas were quickly forgotten. The adults readied their magic and their weapons(2) and raced in the direction of the sound.

What they found was a rather unsettling tableau. A pair of earth ponies, a yellow stallion with a scruffy brown mane and a greatly pregnant tan colored mare with a cream colored mane, were cornered in a flatbottom swamp boat by yet another kappa. The turtle-toad was holding onto the front of the boat with its long skinny arms, leering and making beckoning motions towards the stallion. The stallion, strangely enough, was holding a carving knife and some sort of vegetable.

"Don't!" the mare was beseeching him.

"It's the only way," the stallion said in reply. "He'll let you go if I do this. Please... just tell me what-- tell me what you were going to name the baby." Even from the shore, the rescue party ponies could see the haunting look in his eyes. The mare, weepy eyed, started to speak, when Southern Comfort interjected.

"I say, what all's goin' on hyar?"

Hope flashed in the two earth pony's eyes. "Oh thank the Maker," the stallion said.  "Please, y'gotta help us-- he's demandin' a toll, an' we only got two cucumbers!" He held up the vegetables in question.

This was greeted by everypony on shore with baffled expressions. All save two ponies, that is; Jade Blossom and Southern Comfort seemed to catch the gist of it. "But there are only two of you," Southern Comfort called back.

The mare on the boat groaned suddenly and clutched her belly. "...Three," she corrected painfully.

Southern Comfort swore. Sweetiebelle looked at Jade. "Cucumbers?" She said under her voice.

Jade lowered her voice so only the others nearby could hear. "Kappas have some ghastly appetites. But they love cucumbers more than anything. You can buy safe passage past them with a cucumber. And you can buy safety for a newborn foal by carving the foals name in the cucumber and tossing it in their pond." Another groan echoed across the water. " Jade's expression didn't change but her eyes slitted in anger. "This one probably sensed the mare was going into labor and decided to jump the gun. If he doesn't get a cucumber for each of them, he'll hold them hostage until it's born-- and then take whomever didn't get one."

Sweetiebelle gasped, her hoof to her mouth. "You mean he'll grab the baby and--" she looked sickened.

Jade nodded. "If I don't miss my guess, the father was about to give him one for the mother, and one for the baby... and sacrifice himself."

"We gotta help them!" Sweetiebelle said, starting to panic.

"As you command, your Grace," Dapper Blue said, steel in his voice. "You!" he shouted to the stallion on the boat. "Throw me the cucumber!" The stallion hesitated; it was easy to see what he was thinking; if he lost a cucumber then their situation would be even more dire-- "Trust me!" Dapper urged. Biting his lip fearfully, the stallion tossed the cucumber to him. The kappa followed it with greedy eyes, making a halfhearted motion as if tempted to try and snatch it out of the air. Dapper caught it deftly. He turned his back and began carving it with his dagger. Curious, Sweetiebelle leaned in to see what he was doing. She saw him quickly hollow out the center of the cucumber and stuff something shiny and red down inside. "Ma'am?" he shouted over his shoulder. "What's the baby's name going to be?"

There was a pause. "Jay," she said. "Just... Jay." Dapper Blue deftly carved the name in the cucumber's skin.  He turned around and held the cuke up, waving it like a dog treat. He whistled two or three times.

"Here boy! Want the cuke? Want the nummy nummy cucumber?"

Hostages forgotten, the kappa let the boat go and turned to face Dapper, licking his lips with a slimy tongue. "Well, here you go boy!" Dapper said, and lobbed the cucumber into the air.

The kappa stretched out its long skinny neck and snapped the cucumber out of the air in one bite. There was a loud vegetabley crunch and the cuke was gone. For several seconds the kappa stood there, smirking and licking its lips. Then its eyes bulged, its hands went to its throat and fire and steam began gushing from its mouth. It thrashed about, tongue flailing, its steamkettle howl rising on an ascending note.

Then its head exploded.

That was it. Just a loud, deafening report and its head was gone in a red mist. The headless body staggered for a step then toppled over into the water. All around, the chirping of unseen frogs and crickets(3) ceased; then resumed again, far fainter and subdued sounding.(4)"Good Lawd," Southern Comfort hastily used his magic to push the corpse out into the deep water, where several gators could be seen homing in on the unexpected snack. "You Royal boys doan' fool roun'. What WAS that?"

Dapper Blue reached into his jacket and pulled something out of the inside pocket. He held it out. It looked like a shiny red chili pepper, except that it was oddly wrinkled, so that it looked like it had a gnashing grimace and two bulging, angry eyes. "The Canterlot gardeners have been getting some... interesting results crossbreeding plants with Poison Joke pollen," he said coolly. "You should see what the zucchini does."

Sweetiebelle, to be certain, was shocked to her innocent little core. "You killed him," she breathed in horror.

Dapper Blue could see where this was going. He finished brushing off his lapels(5) and addressed the little duchess gently. "Indeed I did," he said. "I am a plainclothes guard, your Grace. I don't have any armor or shield or spear. I can't just batter a threat into submission. That's not what I'm for. I'm a Black Flag specialist. I'm trained to take out my targets hard, fast, and permanently, when necessary."

"And it was necessary? To kill him?" The question was sincere; a child yearning for clarity.

"It was going to eat a baby. What would you say, your Grace?" Dapper Blue answered calmly.

Sweetiebelle looked out over the waters to where the gators were tussling over their prize and shuddered. But her eyes were fierce. "Yeah," she said with finality. "Yeah. He was asking for it."

In the meanwhile the swamp boat had drifted to the shore. The group was moving to aid the couple on board. "And who might you two be?" Southern Comfort said. "And what are you doing out here with her in this condition?"

The stallion spoke up. "They call me Tater Salad," he said. "This here's mah wife, Pecan Praline--" he pronounced it 'PRAH-leen'-- "An' she's as sweet as her name, I ga-ron-tee." He smiled back at his wife, who despite her discomfort returned it. "An' her condition's wut brought us out here in de fust place. We was tryin' to git to de big 'ospital in de city, but--" he jerked his head in the direction of the gator buffet that used to be their kidnapper.

"I see," Southern Comfort said. "Well I've got bad news and good news." He indicated back the way his group had come. "There's all sorts of kappa pools between here and there. And I adjudge that even if there weren't---" the mare moaned again in pain--"Your wife is too far along to make it." Tater Salad spat over the side of the boat and gave a muffled oath. "The good news is I happen to be a doctor," Southern Comfort said. "If we can get someplace with a roof and clean water, I can deliver that foal for you."

The look of relief that spread across both their faces was marvelous to behold. "Thank the Maker," Tater Salad said.

"Is there any place near...?" Southern Comfort said

Tater Salad nodded. "Gumbo's Jetty," he said. "Few houses, Gumbo's boathouse and shack, not much else... but dey good folk, dey let us use a room dere.  De closest ting we got to a town, out here. "

"Then that is fortunate," Jade Blossom said. "We are searching the swamp for a lost pony. Do you think she might have gone there?"

Tater Salad hemmed and hawed. "Could be. Most everypony what go tru de swamp end up dere, evenchally."

Praline let out a much louder groan. "Ah doan mean to be a pest," she said in a somewhat aggrieved tone, "But y'all might want to hurry up an' git me thar!" The ponies present took the hint and piled aboard the boat. It was thankfully a good roomy craft, halfway to being a barge, almost. It was propelled by an enormous caged fan in back; once everypony was aboard Tater Salad and Dapper Blue took to the pedals, cranking the fan up to a dull roar. Soon they were skimming through the swamp at a fair clip, leaving a white wake behind them.

1)They scarcely needed to bother. The other kappas were laughing too hard.

2)Marigold wasn't the only pony to recieve one of Rarity's "custom" outfits.

3)Much of which was actually unseen kappas commenting to each other.

4)closest kappa-to-Equestrian translation would be "holy @#$%^@ did you see that...."

5)Magic stain-proofing, paid for out of his own salary, didn't keep bits of things from flecking him. We shan't speculate on bits of what, at this time.

Next Chapter: Chapter 26 Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours